I Need You
by Krstna
Summary: Lily thought that her past was behind her and that life was going the way she wanted that is until things take a twist and she discovers that you can never leave your past behind
1. One

**Disclaimer **I am not JKR I'm a student that should be working on an essay but can't get that done because this story is flying around my head. If you recognise anything then its not mine.

Okay so I know I'm already posting three stories on here but Choices is coming to an end and I've decided that I want to post this now because it might inspire me to write more. I must say that this is a Lily and James story at heart but there's lots of twists to reach before we get there.

Oh and now I'm dedicating this story to a friend of mine who has only recently discovered this whole writing fanfiction thing. She's nagged me to get this story done and asks me almost everyday when it's coming up. So this story is dedicated to **Floss **aka **Carly**

Oh and before I forget the next post is coming up maybe at the end of the week maybe start of next week depending on how my essay turns out, and all other chapters are longer than this I promise

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I Need You

Chapter 1

"Who the hell are you to tell me how to live?"

The door slammed shut and the young girl shook with emotion, this was it; she had done it, she had finally split from her family. Small tears left her eyes but she wasn't sad. No, she was happy. At the age of eighteen, she had torn herself away from those she loved. They didn't understand her, and maybe they never had. She was different, a freak, to use her own sister's words.

She was everything a young woman should be; well mannered with a head on her shoulders. She wasn't afraid to stand up for herself; she'd say no if she had to. And yet she was a freak, all because of one thing, and that thing was the fact she was a witch.

At the age of eleven there had been a knock on their front door and a woman had been stood there who had explained that she was a witch and offered her a place in one of the top wizarding schools in the world, Hogwarts.

During her time there she had excelled in everything she had done, she had been a top student with excellent grades, well behaved and popular. She had been made a prefect in her fifth year and by her last found herself as head girl.

After seven years though she found that life wasn't what she had expected her popularity had slipped away from her and now she found herself left with only one friend Caitlyn Sanders, but that wasn't what had caused her to look at herself, it was actually her muggle (non-magical) background that had been the root of all of her troubles.

She was still young only eighteen and just starting her life. She had so many doors open to her in the wizarding world but her parents were pulling her back and she knew that she had no choice now but to leave her muggle upbringing behind her.

She was slightly surprised by how easy it was turning out to be, the plans her parents had put forward for her made it very easy. Her mother wanted her to attend a muggle university and get a degree so that she could work in the muggle world, but yet she couldn't see the point. Why should she want a job in the muggle world when she had all the qualifications she needed to get a good job in the wizarding.

It was strange to find that all the support her mother had offered her during her time in Hogwarts had been a lie, she hadn't been able to accept the truth at all and now that Lily was old enough to make her own decisions her mother was turning her back on her. Lily was upset but if her mother was going to make her chose between the wizarding world and her family there was no choice, she belonged in the wizarding world as much as her family belonged in the muggle.

Then there was her dad who had taken it upon himself to get her to marry and start a family by the time she was twenty. He had tried to set her up with a lawyer named Steve Hollows but that would ruin Lily's own plans. How would she be able to be herself with someone if they had no clue about the wizarding world, about what she was? She couldn't do that.

The easiest brake of all was the one between Lily and her sister Petunia. They had nothing in common except for their blood relation to each other. Petunia liked things to be ordinary and the thought of having a witch in the family was her worst nightmare.

Petunia was due to marry a boring man in three weeks, and she had completely banned Lily from the wedding but that didn't bother her, as far as she had been concerned she had been an only child for seven years.

So with her muggle past left behind it was time to move on with her life, and Lily had no idea of what was to come and how her past was going to be something that would come back to haunt her.


	2. Two

Chapter 2

Life was hectic work was busy but Lily loved it this way. It had been two years since she had finished Hogwarts and finally she was doing what she wanted to do what she loved doing. After graduating she had started training as a healer and had never looked back.

The job was hard, extremely hard considering the fact that they were at war but that made it more satisfying because what she was doing really mattered, she was the difference in many cases between life and death.

It was a quiet day though and Lily sat in the staff room flicking through the latest Quidditch magazine. She had never been a big fan of the sport but since leaving Hogwarts she had been dragged into the sport and all because Caitlyn was a beater for the Holyhead Harpies.

Lily had lost track of the games that she had been too over the last two years; she hadn't missed one of them sitting in the stands with the other supporters screaming for the girls in the dark green. The after parties were good too she couldn't fault them in the least, it was always fun to spend time with the other players, even if that meant that every so often she had to put up with Sirius Black, who had become a beater for Puddlemere United.

Sirius Black always reminded her of her past, of when she had been in Hogwarts. He had after all been best friends with James Potter who had been Head Boy while she was Head Girl but on top of that he had been her boyfriend in their last year.

James had been an annoyance to her for years always asking her out but she didn't want him, there were so many other boys and she had ignored him for as long as she possibly could. Then in her seventh year she finally got to know him and found that he wasn't as bad as she had thought.

However near the end of their school life his parents had died and he went of the rails. He had ditched classes and been found in Hogsmeade on more than one occasion completely plastered on Fire Whisky. It had led to a break down in their relationship and she had ended up being dumped by him when all she had wanted to do was be there for him. Seeing Sirius always brought back that raw emotion.

She was lucky though and that was because Sirius never brought up James and he was never brought to the Harpies games. Usually Lily found herself talking to Remus at the games and she enjoyed that always had.

Turning the page in the magazine she smiled as she looked at the picture, there was Caitlyn dressed in dark green robes with a golden talon across her chest and a bat in her hand. Opposite her in the picture stood Sirius Black a brown coloured robe with a bat in his own hand. Above them was the caption, Sanders v's Black. The article went into details about their statistics and tried to conclude which player was the best, although it ended saying that it would be discovered on the pitch when they played each other in two days.

Lily was smiling to herself, that game was promising to be one of the games of the season. The Harpies were one of the top teams in the league and had won it last season while Puddlemere had for a long time been a struggling team but under new management they were taking control of the league and were favourites to claim the title from the Harpies.

"Evans why are you in here?"

Lily looked up and saw Carl Owens standing in the doorway he didn't look happy but then he never did really. His grey eyes were almost crossed which was always a sign that he was angry and his grey hair was standing on ends.

"I was just finishing my break sir; I'll get back to work now."

The man nodded and Lily pushed passed him into the main stream of the hospital she didn't know what Carl's problem was today but lately he had been in a terrible mood at all times, and if he wasn't her supervisor Lily was sure she would have said something.

She went to the main hub and found six people gathered there, they were all talking quickly looking over to a bed and Lily joined them.

"What are you looking at Bethany?"

The healer turned to look at her and Lily noticed her blue eyes were sparkling as the smile widened on her face.

"Lawrence Matthews is over there!"

The name rang a bell with Lily she had heard of Lawrence Matthews but she couldn't work out where the name had come from. She tried to get closer but the women were pushed together looking. Shaking her head Lily turned away and looked through a pile of parchments on the Hub desk.

"Can I have a hand?"

She turned and saw all the women push forward and a smile sprung to her lips, they were elbowing each other out of the way and as they got to the bed Lily spotted Eddie Charlton appear. The other Healers had pushed the man back and his red hair was being tugged at.

"Wow those women can be nasty when they want to."

"Yeah that guy must be really cute."

Eddie shot her a look and she stared back as he pulled a face.

"Lily its Lawrence Matthews!"

"Yeah Bethany said that but I can't work out who that is."

"He's the top chaser for the Appleby Arrows."

Lily nodded slowly pulling a face.

"Of course Larry Matthews I knew I'd heard of him, he played a friendly against the Harpies at the start of the season, he's a good player."

Eddie just shook his head.

"Yep and now he's broken his arm and I'm looking after him but can't get anywhere near him with that lot about."

"Oh I can help, hang on."

Lily ran from the Hub and up two floors to a ward that had been set aside for children. They were having a special visit today the Puddlemere team were coming in to cheer them up. Walking into the ward she spotted Siriushalfway down with a small girl sitting on his leg.

Carefully she walked through the team and as she did she could feel their eyes travelling up her body. She didn't care though as she kept going until she reached her old school peer. Gently she let her hand rest on his shoulder as he turned to her.

"Hi Black, do you think you could do me a favour?"

The smile spread up his lips as he looked at her.

"What do I get if I do?"

"About six female Healers trying to get a piece of you."

"Laura I'm going to go help this lovely lady but I'll be back to see you in a little while okay."

The girl bobbed her head up and down and as she smiled Lily noticed her front two teeth were missing. Taking Sirius' hand she led him through the rest of the crowd and she could hear the whistles from his team mates, when they got outside the ward she rolled her eyes.

"What's with your team mates?"

"When's the last time you looked in a mirror Evans?"

He was wiggling his eyebrows as she slugged him in the stomach.

"There's a nice article in Quidditch weekly about you and Caitlyn."

"Yeah I saw, she looks hot in her robes."

Lily almost chocked on a laugh.

"You think that Caitlyn is hot, Caitlyn Sanders. Remember the girl you called ugly in front of the entire school only three years ago."

"That was three years ago, she's hot now."

"Oh shut up and just get over here."

They stopped just inside the ward that she worked in and she grabbed Sirius' hand.

"Play along."

Dragging him across to the Hub she smiled at Eddie as he looked at them, she winked and in the loudest voice she could muster she began to speak.

"Black I don't see anything wrong with your hand."

"But it hurts Evans' make it better."

"Black I'm telling you there's nothing wrong."

"You're only saying that because you don't want me to be able to hold my bat for Saturday's game because you know that we're going to beat the Harpies."

"Let me take a look."

"No me!"

"No way I'm going to take a look."

Lily was pushed back as the women tried to get hold of Sirius, he was smiling in the same way he had always done in Hogwarts when the girls had been fighting for his attention, he winked at Lily as they led him away.

"Good plan Lily."

"Thanks Eddie, he owed me a favour."

"Really?"

"Yeah I introduced him to Andrea Ready the keeper on the Harpies awhile ago. Now what about your patient?"

"Our patient I still need a hand."

Smiling Lily followed her colleague into the cubicle and smiled at the man lying in the bed. His blonde hair had a swept away look that she was positive was the result of his flying. She couldn't help but notice the muscles that he had hidden under his pale blue robes with a silver arrow across his firm chest.

She finally looked up at his face and her green eyes met his crystal blue and she saw a smile spread up his face.

"Like what you see?"

"Yeah only one broken bone that's great to see."

He laughed and then winced grabbing his arm and Eddie looked at Lily.

"Can you fetch a pain relief potion and then I can reset his arm."

She nodded running to get the potion and on her return she forced the man to drink it, he still looked anxious so as Eddie started to work on him she chatted to him gently.

"So how'd you brake your arm then?"

"Oh we were practising ahead of Saturday's game against the Caerphilly Catapults and Zack Thomas hit me with the Bludger and I fell off my broom."

"Ouch does he know you're on the same team?"

Lawrence laughed looking at her.

"So are you a Quidditch fan?"

"I've watched a few games."

"Will you be watching the Arrows game on Saturday?"

He pulled a face as Eddie tugged on his arm and she just shrugged.

"Doubt it since I've got a ticket to the Harpies against Puddlemere."

"Oh and why would you want to watch a team full of girls when you can watch a team full of men?"

"Because the team of girls are the best in the league."

She saw the man grimace and he moved the other hand to his head.

"Okay yeah the girls have game but they're still a bunch of girls."

She laughed looking over her shoulder.

"Yeah but they're playing Puddlemere and that means Black will be there, and he's one of the most attractive men in the league."

"Oh so you like Black?"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Black no, too much history there."

"Finished, okay so you're free to go, but you'll need to rest the arm for at least twenty four hours. I would say forty eight but I don't see you sitting out of your game against the Catapults."

He nodded standing up and Lily watched him just before he left though he turned around.

"I'll be seeing you again beautiful."

A blush came to her face and she knew that she hoped that he would be seeing her again.

* * *

Just want to let you know that for the next two weeks there's probably not going to be a post because I have two essays to write and two seminars to prepare, but as soon as they're out of the way you'll get you next post

Kris


	3. Three

Chapter 3

Lily took her seat in the stadium surrounded by other Harpies fans. She always loved this about the game getting to sit with people who loved the sport getting lost in the atmosphere of the game.

The crowd was eager the noise increasing with each second as the fans got ready for their teams to appear on the field. In the opposite stand sat the Puddlemere fans and although the different fans both wanted their own team to win, it always started the same way. A tune was picking up in the stadium and as one both sets of fans sang the Quidditch song.

Lily loved this song it was something that brought them all together no matter who you supported. As they finished the commentators voice ran loudly through the stands, Lily smiled as Will Sullivan called out to them announcing the teams.

"Welcome everyone to what is being called the match of the season between the Holyhead Harpies and Puddlemere United."

Lily screamed along with the rest of the crowd egger for the game to start.

"On the ground today we have head Mediwizard Eddie Charlton, then assisting him today are Louise Gordon and Nathan Sugar."

"So here comes the Harpies, Adams, Green, Davies, Sanders, Caldwell, Ready and Goodman."

Lily screamed as she watched the girls in green fly out onto the pitch; they were waving and circling the stadium to the screams. As the reached the opposite side Will's voice sounded once more.

"And here come the Peddlemere side, Jones, Long, Church, Black, Pipes. Walters and White."

Lily booed along with everyone surrounding her watching as they circled the pitch, she caught sight of Black among the team and her mind wondered for a moment wondering about who he had brought to the game with him this time.

She hadn't seen James in two years she knew that he was training to be an Auror but that was all she knew about his life now and it saddened her because she had honestly thought that she would spend the rest of her life with him after getting to know him, and yet it hadn't worked.

"And they're off Adams has the ball and swerves passed Jones and Long but Black hits the Bludger at her and she's dropped the ball, and Church has it she's off down the pitch and Sanders has knocked the ball straight into Dove's hands."

Lily screamed along with the rest of them she loved watching her girls play, its strange how one gets drawn to the people you work with and that what had happened, Caitlyn had found that she got on really well with all the girls and now Lily had been drawn into their world too.

She watched as Kat Dove went down under Long's broom and back up throwing the Quaffle to Holly Adams who got it passed Walters. Lily screamed grabbing hold of the woman next to her jumping up and down as the ball was given to Jones as he headed forward Emma Caldwell hit the Bludger and with great aim knocked the ball into Delia Green's hands.

Unfortunately Black still had the best aim, and while Lily had loved the way he so easily directed the ball when they had been in school she was no longer supporting the team he was on and when the ball went into Jones' hands once more and he was left facing Andrea Ready it was with a sinking heart she watched the Quaffle sail through the hoop.

Around her boos echoed until Kat got the next goal. Lily caught movement and watched as Sian Goodman went into a dive following behind Abi White the Puddlemere Seeker around her people were pointing maybe they'd seen the Snitch but at the last moment White pulled up and Lily realised that she had pulled the famous Wronski Feint. Lily had never seen this move before but as Abi hit the ground the groan that came from the ground showed that it had been successful.

Lily saw the Mediwizards running around on the pitch and picked out Eddie amongst them, he always volunteered to do this job and he was the head Mediwizard for the Harpies. She knew that she would be doing that job in the next match since Healers had to take turns.

The game paused for a moment and Lily could see that White was taking the time to search for the Snitch. After five minutes the game started again and Sian was once more in the air flying in large circles looking for the snitch.

The game below though was become more aggressive though with each go. Long had the Quaffle and Lily watched as he did the Porskoff ploy. She was surprised that she remembered the name of the play but with Caitlyn yelling plays to herself all the time she was learning what they were. This play was one of Lily's favourite where the player flew upwards and dropped the ball to a Chaser below.

Long had dropped the ball to Church and as she took aim Andrea let go of the broom with one hand and looping only one foot and hand on the broom she reached across the Hoops stopping the Quaffle easily and with a quick roll she was back on her broom and the ball was in Delia's hands.

She was down the pitch and as she threw the Quaffle through the hoop the whistle sounded causing the celebrations that were taking place to end quickly. Lily couldn't work out what had happened and the entire stadium had gone quiet listening for Will's take on it.

"And a foul by Green. How you may be asking? Well what we just saw is known as haversacking, Green was still holding the Quaffle as it passed through the hoop so a penalty is awarded to Puddlemere."

Lily booed along with the rest of the Harpies fans as Church got the ball passed Ready. The ball was again in Kat's hand and she took off towards Walters. Lily however noticed that Sirius had called Pipes towards him and both took aim on the same Bludger sending it at Kat and she quickly saw it coming and rolling on her broom was upside down allowing for the Bludger to pass her by and she dropped the ball to Holly who carried on down the field.

As she let the Quaffle go to sail through the hoop the whistle sounded again. Lily yelled along with everyone around here there was no way that Holly had fouled that time she was about two meters away from the hoop.

Will's voice soared through the crowd though and his words were uplifting to all the Harpies fans.

"Another foul but this one was by keeper Walters, a move known as flacking, she pushed her shoulder through the middle hoop to keep the Quaffle out, that means a penalty for the Harpies."

Lily was thrilled and by the time Holly scored the penalty goal the score was two hundred and thirty to two hundred to Puddlemere. A sudden movement from White drew attention; she had dived down and with a quick movement to the right pulled up waving her hand in the air.

The whistle sounded and Lily swore loudly she'd gotten the Snitch and since the Puddlemere team had been ahead of them anyway they had won the game. The final score ended as three hundred and eighty to two hundred. This meant that Puddlemere were now top of the league thirty points ahead of the Harpies.

Around her the stands were empting as everyone started to head back home after their first lost of the season, with ten games played. Lily followed the supporters out of the stadium and watched as some tried to get passed Ethan the security wizard at the stadium's pub.

Lily followed those trying to get in and as she got to the front smiled at Ethan.

"Good game don't you think Ethan."

"Yeah, brilliant for Puddlemere fans."

"Yep pity we didn't get the Snitch but we can still win the league."

"So true Lily."

She heard the protests of other fans as she was allowed in and looking around she found that it was still rather quiet. Standing in the pub was the old captain of the team Gwendolyn Morgan who had led the team in their biggest win; she was now the coach of the team and next to her stood Ceridwen Perriweather the owner of the Harpies.

Lily smiled at them nodding looking around, just a little over from them stood Toby Teeter the coach of the Puddlemere team and he was happily talking to their owner Charles Brewer. Lily found herself standing by the bar when Eddie walked over to her.

"So what did you think?"

"Nasty crash, you were brilliant to get her back in the air so quickly, and then there was almost another nasty one when Black and Pipes did the Dooplebeater defence Kat was lucky that she saw it and that Sloth Grip roll was the best I ever saw."

"I totally agree but I meant the over all outcome."

"It's a pity that we didn't win but we're still in with a chance in the league title, come on its going to be between Puddlemere and us now, what with Puddlemere on eight hundred and ten, and us on seven hundred and eighty."

"It looks that way but the Arrows could still come back."

"No way they're down on six hundred."

"Not anymore, they won today against the Catapults they're up to six hundred and eighty now."

"No way, but no they're still miles behind us and the other teams are even worse off."

"Admit it Evans' Puddlemere are going to win this season."

A smile spread up Lily's face at the sound of the voice and turning around she grinned looking at the man, he had changed he looked thinner than she remembered last time but looking into his brown eyes she saw a sparkle of joy and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders grinning.

"It's been too long Remus how are you?"

"Same as always, you're looking well."

"Thanks. Oh Remus this is Eddie Charlton a colleague of mine, Eddie this is Remus Lupin an old friend of mine."

The two men shook hands and then Eddie made an excuse and headed over to see Louise Gordon who had been working with him as a Mediwitch during the game.

"So how are you really Remus?"

"Surviving you know what its like with my condition. Sirius is making sure that I don't go hungry and I'm keeping busy what with this war."

She nodded at him as the bartender came up.

"Buy you a drink Remus?"

"No I'll get one."

"No you won't you bought me one last game, it's my turn."

He grinned at her as the she ordered two butterbeers. She paid and turned her back to the bar looking out at everyone. She sighed and looked at Remus.

"Isn't it strange how life turns out?"

"Yeah I mean who would ever have thought that Sirius would be a top Quidditch star and all the girls would want him."

"Yeah I always thought that James would do that and Sirius would use James' fame to get girls."

They laughed and Remus looked at her.

"He misses you, he doesn't say anything but he really does."

"Oh come on he's probably got a ton of girlfriends."

Remus shook his head which surprised her.

"No he hasn't had a girlfriend since you broke up."

She didn't have time to answer as the teams came in and everyone cheered. She saw Sirius bound in jumping up and down before running to the bar and grabbing Remus into a headlock.

"What I tell you, I knew I'd win!"

"Alright Sirius, you're the king and the rest of us just worship at your feet."

"That's right Moony and never forget it. Oh Evans good to see you again."

"And you Black."

"I have to thank you too."

"What for?"

"I got a date with a lovely witch named Bethany from that little stunt you pulled."

She laughed downing her drink as the bartender came back.

"Another three, no make it four butterbeers please."

Lily took the drinks and handed one to Remus and the other to Sirius as Caitlyn headed over, she was running her fingers through her violet hair her crystal eyes sparkling. She looked a little down but instantly smiled as Lily handed her the drink.

"You alright Lyn?"

"Yeah just heard that the Arrows won their game, their catching up on us, and that includes your team too Black."

"Hey we're winning."

"By thirty points so if they're catching on us that means they're not that far behind you."

The four looked at each other taking a sip but Lily spoke up.

"Don't worry about it they're still only on six hundred and eighty, that means they're a hundred points behind us, and a hundred and thirty behind you I think they're going to be stuck in third place what with only two games left of the season."

Sirius and Caitlyn smiled a little and Remus spoke up.

"Yeah besides the Arrows next game are against us and then the final game is against you guys."

Lily nodded.

"Yeah and the way both teams are playing their not going to beat us."

She was smiling thinking about the Arrows and the up coming game it would mean that she got to see Lawrence again; Caitlyn was watching her and grinned.

"You thinking about Larry Matthews again."

She blushed taking a swig of her drink and Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Has Evans' taken a shining for another Chaser?"

"Shut up Black."

He just barked a laugh as he looked at her, Remus though spoke up.

"You should go for it, you need some fun after all when was the last time you had a boyfriend?"

"It hasn't been that long Remus!"

He raised an eyebrow and she shrugged.

"Okay it's been a while."

Sirius looked between them.

"Am I missing something?"

"James was her last boyfriend."

Sirius chocked on his drink.

"But you're hot, hang on a minute."

He spun around and whistled and everyone looked at him.

"Okay men we've got a woman here who's been single for two years, the lovely Miss Evans who'd like to buy her a drink?"

Lily blushed as the three men who played with Sirius rushed forward towards the bar he grinned and looked at Caitlyn.

"Will you let me buy you a drink?"

"Depends what you think you'll get in return."

Lily saw the way he looked at her as Kyle Long passed her a drink. With a fleeting look at Remus she turned to speak to the Chaser, it seemed that these drinks were going to last longer than she thought.

* * *

Okay so this will have to do until a week Monday because I'm not going to be here at all next week. Sorry 


	4. Four

Chapter 4

Lily sat at the hub rubbing her head; all she could think was thank god that Carl had the day off because if he saw her in this state he'd have something to say to her. The night before had been very long in fact she hadn't left the pub until nearly two in the morning and now at seven she was in work.

Sirius' request for men to buy her drinks had lasted long into the night Kyle Long the Chaser for Puddlemere had happily bought her a drink and then she had spent an hour talking to him, she knew that he had just gotten out of a relationship with Tabby Carter one of the chasers for Wigtown Wanderers.

He had then gone on to tell her how he wanted somebody who wanted some fun before placing his hand on her leg. She had smiled turning slightly glad to see Eddie standing just beside them and she had excused herself to speak to him.

She had been safe for about twenty minutes before John Jones had come over with a drink for her but unlike his team mate he didn't try anything and had said he just wanted to buy her a drink. They had sat down and had gotten into a conversation about the league and the dismal performance of the Kenmare Kestrels who had not won a single game and were in bottom place with fifty points.

They had been laughing about it when Jones' fiancée Janet O'Neill the Keeper for the Kestrels had entered and started a yelling match with him, not for sitting with Lily but for making fun of her teams losing streak. Lily hadn't known where to look and felt slightly saved as Todd Pipes had taken a seat with her.

He was very sleazy and had spent twenty minutes talking to her chest. She didn't like sitting there with him and it had been getting late. Eddie had come over and bid her goodnight and left but she had remained seated with Todd.

It had been an hour before Remus came over and lowered himself next to her, he was rather drunk Lily could see that in his eyes but not as drunk as Todd. The two men had looked at each other and Todd had started up at Remus asking him to leave them alone, since they were getting on very well.

Remus though had obviously seen how uncomfortable Lily was because he'd looked at Todd and pulled Lily to him. She felt his mouth on hers and went with him allowing him access to her mouth. By the time they had pulled apart Todd was busy chatting up Kat one of the Harpies Chasers.

Remus and she laughed as they headed back to the bar and continued to drink. She had enjoyed his company and at about one she turned to try to find Caitlyn but she was missing, she had pointed that out to Remus who looked around for Sirius, both had been missing and according to Abi the Puddlemere Seeker they had left together around midnight. Remus and Lily had laughed and stayed by the bar.

At two o'clock when George the barman called time Lily could hardly walk straight. She didn't remember how she had gotten home but when her alarm went off at six and she sat up slowly rubbing her eyes she had found Remus next to her fast asleep. She knew what they had done and quietly as not to wake him she had changed into her uniform and come to work.

She shook her head slowly she couldn't remember taking Remus home with her, but then again she couldn't remember going home herself. She was so embarrassed about what she had done it wasn't that she didn't like Remus it was the fact that he was just a friend; this was why she didn't drink that often.

"Morning Lily."

She groaned as an answer to Eddie and when she opened her eyes his grey ones were level to her green ones.

"You look rough, what time did you leave last night?"

"When George closed the pub."

He laughed as he went over to the cupboard.

"Take this we can't have you sick on the job."

"Thanks."

He watched her take the drink and sat next to her. It was quiet at the moment since they worked in the emergency department of the hospital, they got all the patients when they came in and it was up to them to send them to departments. Lily loved this place because it wasn't the same thing everyday, one day it could be a bite wound while the next a hex.

Her head was beginning to clear and she looked around there was only two other healers on the department Richard Young and Maria Soft. There was never many in on a Sunday morning but she knew if there was an attack more people would be called in.

"So what were the guys like last night then?"

"Oh I'm so killing Black when I see him next for doing that to me."

"Well he got you free drinks didn't he?"

"Yeah and I blame him for me getting so drunk."

"You could have said no."

"Not with the guys that came onto me."

He laughed.

"It couldn't have been that bad?"

"Are you kidding that Kyle Long told me about his break up with another woman before telling me he just wanted fun and touching my leg non-stop. I suppose John Jones was okay he's engaged to Janet O'Neill of the Kestrels so we talked about Quidditch had a laugh about the Kestrels then Janet came in."

"Oh he's so dead."

"Yeah she was yelling, well then Todd Pipes came onto me and he spent the night talking to my chest."

"Well you do have a nice chest Lily."

"Eddie!"

"What? Look its true you have a nice chest."

She hit him before shaking her head and giving him a piercing look.

"Well Remus came and saved me and then we sat at the bar and drunk until leaving time."

"Well no wonder you're in a state."

"I know it's my own fault."

"Yes it is and I hope you're not going to get that drunk next Saturday."

"Why what's next Saturday?"

"Lily it's the Harpies game against the Ballycastle Bats remember and you're on duty during the game, you're going to be a Mediwitch helping me out."

"Oh yeah I'd nearly forgotten."

"Well make sure you remember on Saturday because it's you, me and that trainee Carly Foster and I don't want to have to make Will put an announcement out to get you out of those stands down with me."

"I like the stands being with other fans yelling screaming –"

"When really you could be down with me every week helping out."

She just grinned when she heard a siren go off. She knew what that meant there had been an attack somewhere. Jumping to her feet she watched as Richard and Maria gathered around with them, Eddie quickly took charge.

"Okay so here's what we'll do Lily and I will take the most serious and you two minor, when others start to arrive send another eight through to where Lily and I will be and get the rest to help you. Oh and when Carl arrives tell him that I've set up a code pink."

Lily had worked in this department for nearly six months now, she was still a trainee but in her last year and only two months from becoming a qualified healer and was one of the top in her year anyway, but she couldn't remember what a code pink was.

As she followed Eddie into a large room off to the left filled with beds where the seriously injured could be placed she saw that senior members of staff had appeared and that's when it came to her, a code pink was where the heads of all the other departments were called in to help.

The casualties began to arrive and Lily found that she needed to apply everything she had learnt to help. After thirty minutes there were around twenty healers in the room and Lily was flying between beds along with everyone else.

She watched as three people died but she didn't have time to get sad and wonder if there was something she could have done because she just had to move onto the next patient. It was two hours before things began to calm down. Lily was thankful for the potion that Eddie had given her there was no way that she would have been able to work otherwise.

As she moved to one of the last beds and looked down she gasped a pair of hazel eyes looked back and she felt a tingle in her stomach. The man moved a hand to his hair and rumpled his dark locks and smiled lightly.

"Hello Lily."

"Hi James."

She let her hands wonder over his exposed chest where there were cuts and she couldn't believe how familiar this was, there had been a time when her hands had wondered over his bare chest but that been out of passion and not checking for injuries.

"Can you sit up please?"

He did and she looked into his eyes and smiled slightly.

"So how are you?"

"Apart from the injuries I'm alright. You?"

"Okay, doing well."

She checked his back and then helped him to lay back down.

"Looks like you've bruised some ribs you're lucky."

"Am I?"

She just looked down and nodded before looking back up.

"It was good seeing you again James."

Then turning she left the room and headed to the staff room and poured herself a glass of water. Taking a sip she heard the door open and turned to find Carl there.

"Before you asking I'm just having a glass of water and then I'll get back out there."

"It's alright take your time you've done well today."

"Thank you."

"I'm recommending you for a new project that we're setting up."

"Pardon?"

"Come on Evans' you're good, in two months you'll be qualified and you won't want to stick around here."

"But I like working here."

"You don't even know what this project is."

"Oh, no I don't do I."

He laughed.

"You'd be working with the Aurors; it'll be like a field project. Basically you'll be on the front line giving treatment during battles to those that need it, it'll mean another six months of basic training in the Auror department but I think you'll be able to cope."

"I don't know sir?"

"It'll be a good job and they need fighters I saw you in the attack that took place here six months ago you fight as well as you heal and besides Moody has asked for you so if you don't want it you'll have to explain to him."

"In that case sir thank you."

"You're welcome. Now get back to work Evans."

She grinned as she left the staff room and went to help with the minor injuries.

* * *

Okay so this is just a quick post have two minutes to spare and well hope you like. More on Monday 


	5. Five

Chapter 5

Her feet were aching and her eyes were heavy as she dropped into the chair by her fireplace. She just wanted to sleep but she had some paperwork to do before she could go to bed. The bathroom door shut and she looked up as Caitlyn appeared her violet hair wrapped in a towel.

"Evening."

"Yeah."

"Want some food?"

Lily just nodded as she pulled the first form to her, it was about the people that had died, she needed to fill in what potions and spells she had tried on them, for twenty minutes she worked in silence and then Caitlyn dropped into the seat next to her passing her the plate that had turkey burgers in bread rolls.

"Thanks Lyn."

"That's alright. Oh don't you have something to tell me?"

Lily looked up and was about to shake her head and then remembered.

"There was an attack at a muggle church this morning."

"What?"

"Yeah one hundred and twenty seven people were brought into the hospital a hundred and twelve were muggles. Lyn it was horrible I haven't seen something like that since the attack at the hospital we lost three people."

"Oh Lil."

Her friend wrapped her arms around her and she dropped her head onto her shoulder.

"But that wasn't the worse thing."

"No?"

"No, I saw James."

"What? When? Where?"

"You're missing why."

Caitlyn pushed Lily and she smiled lightly.

"He was injured in the attack and I had to check him over, he hasn't changed at all."

"You mean he's still as handsome as ever."

"Yeah even with cuts and bruises all up his chest."

"Lily you made him take his top off, now I know you two were physical with each other but you don't waste time."

"Shut up, he'd bruised his ribs I had to check him over."

"Was it strange seeing him?"

Lily nodded.

"I didn't know what to say to him."

"What did you say?"

"I said hi, asked him how he was, told him he'd bruised his ribs and then said it had been nice seeing him."

"That's all?"

"I didn't know what else to say."

"How about did you see Sirius' game yesterday, how come you didn't come to the bar."

"I wasn't thinking, but I can ask him that next time."

"Next time?"

"I've been offered a new job."

"Really!"

"Yeah I'm going to be doing field work. Basically I'm going to be on the front line healing those that need treatment while the battle is going on."

"No that's dangerous."

"I know I've got to do six months of Auror training when I qualify in two months."

Caitlyn nodded taking a bite of the burger and looked back at Lily.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"No."

"What about the fact that Remus came out of your room this morning."

Lily blushed looking at her friend.

"Did he?"

"Don't play innocent I know what you two were doing last night."

"Would that be the same thing you were doing with a certain Black?"

To Lily's surprise Caitlyn just nodded at her.

"Yep."

"I can't believe you Lyn, why Black?"

"Why Remus?"

"I was drunk, he was drunk we were having a laugh and we ended up in bed, its not like we did anything wrong we're both single and it won't be happening again."

"Why not? Didn't you enjoy it?"

"Lyn! I'm not answering that."

"Fine, oh Sirius is coming around later, just so you know."

Lily dropped her roll looking at her friend.

"So you are Black are dating now."

"No of course not, we're just having a little fun, he's really good so –"

"Stop right there I don't want to know anymore."

Caitlyn just laughed and Lily picking up her roll finished eating it before heading to her room to leave Caitlyn alone with Sirius.


	6. Six

Chapter 6

The week flew by before Lily knew it and the Saturday arrived bright and early. Lily arrived at the Quidditch pitch with Caitlyn and while her friend went to the changing rooms Lily went to find Eddie. He had already started to set up their things and Carly was stood beside him.

"Morning Eddie, Carly lovely day for a Quidditch game aint it."

Carly nodded her dark head as Eddie threw Lily the dark green robes she would have to wear. On the back was the word Mediwitch and Lily threw it on over her jeans and t-shirt. She stood looking into the sky and Eddie placed his arm around her.

"Ready to work for this game?"

"Depends only if we win."

Eddie laughed and they sat down on the grass waiting for the game to start. It wasn't long before the crowds started to arrive and Lily looked up at them.

"Wish I could sit up there."

"Oh come on Lil, you know you'd rather spend the day with me down here."

She laughed looking at her watch.

"The Puddlemere Arrows game has started."

"Who do you want to win?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know if Puddlemere win it means that they could pull ahead of us but then if we win it isn't too bad, but if the Arrows win they'll close the gap but we'll only need forty points to go ahead of Puddlemere."

He nodded.

"Either way you've got to hope for a Harpies win."

"Yep while you hope for the Puddlemere."

"What?"

"I know you support Puddlemere mate, you should come round mine Black has spent every night since Saturday there."

"Oh really so that's why you've been so happy lately."

"Eddie!"

Lily pushed him watching him roll in the grass.

"What? You said he's been at your place."

"I live with Caitlyn I can't help it if she's taken a liking to him."

"What Sanders and Black, now that's going to be a major story."

Lily laughed as the crowd began to sing Quidditch songs; she held her tongue though knowing that she wasn't allowed to show loyalties in this game. Will Sullivan's voice boomed around the stadium and Lily jumped slightly.

"Welcome to today's game between the Holyhead Harpies and Ballycastle Bats. On the ground today we have head Mediwizard Eddie Charlton and assisting him are Carly Foster and Lily Evans."

She could hear the crowd in screams but knew it wasn't because she was there it was because any moment and the teams would be flying out.

"Here comes the first team, yes it's the Harpies, Adams, Green, Dove, Sanders, Caldwell, Ready and Goodman."

Lily watched as her friends came flying onto the pitch in their dark green robes, they looked good and she had seen sparks in their eyes the night before when they had all gone out for dinner, they were going to win there was no doubt in Lily's mind.

"Oh and here come the Bats, O'Sullivan, Williams, Brown, Downs, Bartle, Shaw and O'Reilly."

Lily looked up and saw the Irish side fly out their black robes were fluttering around behind them and the only colour she could see was the scarlet bat on their chest. The game was starting and Lily picked up her pair of Omnioculars and put them to her eyes to watch the play above.

Lily smiled as she sat Kat score the first goal containing her excitement as she continued to watch, the Bats were a good team but with only five hundred points they were not in with a chance to win the league but that didn't mean they were going to give the Harpies an easy game.

Within twenty minutes Caitlyn had used the Bludger Backbeat play where she had hit the Bludger over her shoulder and knocked Alex Williams off balance and he dropped ten feet to the ground. It was lucky that Eddie was quick and had put a slowing charm on him so the damage was minimum.

Lily ran out onto the pitch and pushed the man's blonde hair out of his eyes looking into his eyes.

"He's reactive."

"Yeah I think that he's got a dislocated shoulder though, Carly come here I want you to watch how we do this."

Lily grabbed the man's upper arm pushing the shoulder in as Eddie grabbed his wrist and yanked his arm upwards, there was a click and Alex swore loudly but his face softened as he moved his arm.

"Let me just strap it up in case and you can get back up there."

Lily was careful not to pull on his arm as Carly forced him to take a pain relief potion. Within seconds he was back in the air and play resumed. Lily continued to watch as the whistle sounded. People were screaming as Holly was given the Quaffle. Will's voice rang through the stadium.

"A horrible display from Bat's Chaser O'Sullivan using her elbows to get the Quaffle, that's known as cobbing to the professionals and is an automatic foul."

Lily grinned hugging Eddie as Holly scored another goal. The score was now a hundred and twenty to thirty and they were stuffing the Bats. Suddenly without warning Sian went into a dive and pulled upwards just as quickly her arm in the air.

"And Goodman has the Snitch; the Harpies win two hundred and seventy to thirty. What a game for the Harpies and with their final match of the season against the Arrows it's looking good for them."

Lily clapped and cheered as the teams headed back to the changing rooms. Lily waved at Caitlyn as she disappeared and helping Eddie to clear up they made their way up to the pub. Ethan was standing there once again turning people away and when he saw them coming he waved.

"Have you heard the Arrows beat Puddlemere by ten points?"

"What?"

"Yep the standing score at the moment is Puddlemere leading nine hundred and ninety points, then the Harpies with nine hundred and seventy and the Arrows are on nine hundred and fifty. The title could go anyway."

Lily nodded entering the bar with Eddie and getting herself a Gilly water there was no way she was going to be getting drunk tonight she knew better. Eddie led Lily over to a table and sat her down grinning.

"So what do you make of that then?"

"That next Saturday's game is going to be major, who are Puddlemere playing?"

"The Montrose Magpies, it should be an easy win for them but the eyes of the fans are going to be on the Arrows and Harpies because you guys could take the win from us."

"Oh don't worry we will, I'm just hoping the Arrows don't in turn take the win from us."

Eddie laughed taking a sip of his drink and looking at his watch.

"Got somewhere to be?"

"Yeah the in laws are coming round for dinner I have to be home by six and not drunk."

"Ouch why have you got Libby's parents coming round?"

"Oh we have some news to tell them."

Lily looked into his eyes and grinned wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"Congratulations, when's she due?"

"Was it that obvious?"

"Yes! When's the baby due?"

"Well its June now and she's three months so that's December just before Christmas."

"Oh a December baby I always wanted to have a baby in time for Christmas."

"Well maybe you will after all look at all the attention you got last weekend."

She slugged him as the teams came into the room cheering among themselves laughing and Caitlyn dropped into the chair opposite them.

"Have you heard the news?"

"That the Arrows won."

She nodded slowly taking Lily's drink.

"I suppose that's good for us because it means we're still in for a chance to win the league but now there's another two teams up for the chase."

Eddie laughed and pulled on Lily's hair.

"Well put Lily in front of Lawrence Matthews and you might have a chance to beat them."

"Shut up Eddie."

"What you talking about, why would Lily be able to get us to win?"

"Oh didn't Lily tell you? Two weeks ago he was in with a broken arm and when we were tending to it he couldn't take his eyes off this lovely red head by here, told her he'd be seeing her again soon."

"Oh."

Lily blushed taking her drink back from Caitlyn taking a sip.

"So Lyn is Black coming around tonight?"

"No, he won't be coming around again any time soon. Thinks he's got a right over me because I let him in my bed, yeah right."

Lily laughed as Eddie finished his drink.

"Well I'm off don't want to keep the in laws waiting do I?"

Lily nodded as Caitlyn got up; she stayed there for another twenty minutes before heading off home for another night.


	7. Seven

Chapter 7

Lily took her seat in the stands a grin spread across her features. This was it the final game of the season and the Harpies chance to win for the second year in a row. Fluttering had taken over her stomach as if she herself were going to climb onto a broom and take flight in this important game.

Around her the other Harpies fans were yelling and cheering about the fact victory was just within reach. She loved this feeling of being surrounded by the fans. She had missed it in the last game when she had been on the ground.

She jumped slightly as did those around her when Will's voice called out at the stadium. The game wasn't due to begin for another thirty minutes and the commentary usually only started five minutes before it started.

"Will a Miss Lily Evans who is sitting in the stands please make her way to the Mediwizards enclosure, that's a Miss Lily Evans to go to the Mediwizards enclosure."

Lily looked around at those surrounding her and started to move from the stands. She didn't know why she would be wanted down in the enclosure it wasn't her turn to work she had done the last game. She knew that Eddie had another two working with him for this game.

As she walked passed the changing rooms the door to the away ones opened and somebody walked out bumping right into her. She let out a small screech and looked up at the man who was stood on her foot and smiled.

The man was tall around six foot two with blonde hair neatly brushed. He wore a large smile across his face and his crystal eyes were sparkling.

"Hello Lawrence."

"My beautiful healer."

"I'd prefer Lily."

"Oh a beautiful flower as well."

She could feel a small blush creeping to her cheeks as she smiled at him. She could see his muscles under his blue Quidditch robes and she felt her heartbeat increase.

"So what have I done to get the pleasure of your company today?"

"Stood on my foot."

He looked down at his feet and picked up his left one so that Lily could pull hers free she smiled up at him.

"Thank you."

"No I'm very sorry. So are you sneaking down here to see me then?"

At that moment the home door opened and Lily turned to see Lyn stood there with Andrea their keeper.

"Lily what are you doing down here?"

"I was –"

"Sneaking down to see me weren't you my beautiful flower."

Lyn's snickering caused Lily to blush wilder as Will's voice sounded again.

"Will a Miss Lily Evans please make her way to the Mediwizard enclosure, that's Miss Lily Evans to the Mediwizard enclosure there's an emergency."

The words played across Lily's mind and she looked at the people gathered around her.

"Sorry that's me better go see what's up."

She ran through the corridor and came out on the grass and looked around. Eddie was stood to one side with a young trainee named Michelle Hayes and another Eva Johnsson. Wrinkling her brow she made her way over to them.

"What's the emergency?"

"They've sent me two trainees Hayes and Johnsson have never helped out at a Quidditch game before I need somebody who knows what to do."

"And you pulled me out of the stands for that?"

"I'll owe you one."

"Make it two."

She smiled as she picked up the green Medi robes and pulled them over her head. Looking at the two trainees they were both staring at something behind her looking almost scared or shocked. Lily turned and saw that the teams had lined up. The Harpies were all looking at the sky but Lyn waved at her, she waved back and to her embarrassment Lawrence winked at her.

"Looks like you've got an admirer Lily."

"Shut up Eddie."

She heard Will's voice once more echo through the stadium.

"Welcome to the final game of the season between second place Holyhead Harpies and third place Appleby Arrows this promises to be a good game, and whoever wins has the chance to steal the first place from Puddlemere United."

Around the stadium cheers emitted from the fans and Will's voice sounded again.

"Today's Medicare will be provided by Head Mediwizard Eddie Charlton and his assistants Michelle Hayes, Eva Johnsson and Lily Evans."

Muffled sounds echoed through the ground as the Harpies began to take off.

"And here comes our first team the Harpies, Adams, Green, Dove, Sanders, Caldwell, Ready and Goodman."

Screams echoed around the stadium and Lily loved the fact that there were no boos it seemed that the cheers were outshining any boos.

"And here's our other team the Arrows, Matthews, Shadow, Davies, Thomas, Prewett, Day and Hardwick."

Again Lily could hear no boos as the game started. She couldn't believe how dirty the game was turning out to be. Within minutes the whistle had sounded and Will's voice was yelling over the boos.

"Adams is caught cobbling, by using her elbows to get the ball from Shadow. The ball is given to Shadow he lines up for the penalty and it's in, the Arrows take an early lead."

Lily was amazed that Holly had been caught cobbling she was usually one to stick by the rules but this was a big game. It was only another ten minutes before the whistle was sounded again this time for blagging. Davies had grabbed hold of Kat's broom causing her to slow right down and not only drop the Quaffle but to fall from her broom.

Lily was quicker than Eddie on this occasion and slowed her friends fall so that she landed with a loud bump on the ground. Lily ran over with Eva and looked at the girl.

"You in any pain Kat?"

"No I can't believe that he did that, I'll get him back."

"Kat don't do anything stupid. Now get back on your broom and let's win."

She was in the air and the game continued. Lily watched as Holly and Delia scored goals, and then Kat finally got the ball through the hoop bringing the score to seventy- sixty to the Arrows. They were an hour into the game when Andrea flew out of her area and rammed straight into Matthews. Lily watched as both players lost control of their brooms and went to the ground. She pulled out her wand and managed to slow Matthews fall while Eddie did the same for Andrea.

With Eva on her tail Lily ran over to Matthews and pushed his hair out of his face to get a good look at his eyes and make sure he didn't have a head injury.

"My beautiful healer has come to my rescue."

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two very slender, pretty ones."

"Nothing wrong with your head then."

"No, but there's something wrong with my heart."

"Really and what's wrong with it?"

"My hearts breaking because you haven't agreed to go out with me."

Lily blushed looking up at the players above her head.

"You haven't asked me out."

"Well how about you join me for drinks after the game?"

"Well you'll have to finish the game first."

"I can't see any injuries Healer Evans."

"Thank you Eva. Well you better get back in the air then."

"Only if you say you'll go out with me."

"Maybe I shouldn't say yes then, since I'm a Harpies supporter."

He placed a hand on his heart pulling a face of horror before turning his face so that he looked very sad. His eyes became large and puppy like and he stuck out his bottom lip.

"Oh all right, after the game now get back up there."

He grinned throwing his right arm into the air before he climbed on his broom kicking off. She laughed shaking her head and as she turned she caught Eddie's massive grin. Quickly she ran back to the sidelines and stopped by him.

"Say it, you know you want to."

"I'm not going to say anything about your admirer."

The game went on in a typical style and after an hour and half of play Sian went into a steep climb and Hardwick followed. He was a stronger flier than her and his broom was faster but as he took over and continued to climb up Sian made a quick turn and dived steeply down. She passed the players and there was near six foot between her and Hardwick when he turned to look at her.

Lily held her breath as Sian reached out they could see her fingers reaching then they closed just as Prewett's Bludger hit her hand. She began to spin but then grabbed hold of her broom, she was rolling over and over and then pulling straight held her hand up and Lily screamed along with the rest of the Harpies fans. They'd won the game, with enough points to keep them ahead of the Arrows. The cup though would be decided on the outcome of another game.

Sian landed and she was enveloped into a massive hug by the rest of the girls, Lily tried to push her way forward as she got to them though Lyn grabbed her.

"We won! We won! Oh I hope Puddlemere lost."

"Yeah Lyn I know, you were great though."

Caitlyn hugged her as Lily continued to push forward, she found herself hugging Holly and Kat before she reached Sian.

"Sian let me look at your hand."

"It's fine Lily."

"Let me look."

Sian finally allowed Lily to see her hand and gently she ran her wand over it. She could see the muscles tingling and then Lily looked up.

"You'll need to rest it, I've just fixed the bones but you should be alright for the party."

"Thanks Lils."

She hugged Sian and then moved away to let the team celebrate as they waved to the fans. Lily headed back to Eddie and grinned at him as somebody tapped her shoulder.

"Well I think I need some cheering up. You will join me for a drink tonight won't you?"

Lily nodded and Lawrence smiled widely as he headed into the changing rooms. Helping Eddie put away their things she knew that they were going to have a good party that night no matter what the outcome of the Puddlemere game.


	8. Eight

Chapter 8

When Lily and Eddie had finished packing up their supplies she pulled the green robe off herself and put it in the store room. She gave herself a quick look in the mirror, her jeans looked fine and straightening her t-shirt she looked presentable.

"Yes Lily you look fine for your date with Lawrence can we head to the bar now?"

She laughed lightly nodding at Eddie and then they headed up to the bar. Ethan was by the door and a large group of people were surrounding him.

"What's going on Ethan?"

"Abi White fell off her broom, broke her leg right out, so they sent up Paul Pratt but he's nowhere near as good as White and Simon Harper the Magpies Seeker caught the Snitch, they beat Puddlemere and with the final score the Harpies have ten points more –"

Lily screamed grabbing hold of Eddie kissing his cheek.

"Better luck next year Eddie!"

He laughed as the cameras went off around them, and Lily looked up to see Dougie Flounders of the Daily Prophet snapping pictures.

"Miss you seem happy, what does the Harpies win mean to you?"

"A very happy flatmate."

Laughter surrounded them and she grinned as one reporter yelled another question.

"Why will your flatmate be happy?"

"Well because my flatmate is Caitlyn Sanders."

More flashes went off and Ethan opened the door allowing Lily and Eddie inside, the people gathered were already jumping around and when the door opened again and the Arrows came in they were smiling kindly.

It was only a little while later when the Harpies entered and the girls were jumping around the room screaming cheers, after them came the press and Lily skidded into a seat with Eddie as the teams stood up by a table.

The press were taking photos of the girls who were smiling and jumping. Lily couldn't help but smile things were good they deserved to win.

"Mind if I join you?"

Lawrence sat opposite them looking up at the Harpies a sad smile on his face.

"Ten points between us and Puddlemere, twenty points from winning the cup, how bad is that."

"It isn't bad, it's a sign of three great teams, and it means next season is going to be great."

Lily looked sideways at Eddie.

"Make you feel any better?"

"No, Libby is so going to rub it in."

He stood up and walked over to Michelle and Eva and Lawrence shot Lily a look.

"He's a Puddlemere fan."

"Oh so I'm not the only one not happy with the win."

He had stood up within seconds and sat in the spot Eddie had just vacated. She smiled at him not knowing what to say to him. She looked around and then back at him.

"You're a great chaser."

"Well thank you, you ever played Quidditch?"

She shook her head and took her hand.

"And why not, I've saw the passion in your eyes looking at the game you love it."

"I don't like riding the brooms; I don't feel safe on them."

"You should come with me, I wouldn't let you fall."

She blushed smiling as a camera flash went off in front of them.

"Lawrence is this your new girlfriend then?"

Lily looked down at the table not wanting to look up as she heard Lawrence answer the question.

"This lovely lady is a new friend, she helped heal my injured arm two weeks ago and we're having a little catch up."

"You're a healer miss?"

She nodded slowly and the man wrote something down and looked back up.

"Wait your Sanders' flatmate aren't you?"

"Yes."

She looked sideways at where the Harpies were dancing around the room drinks in hands and she couldn't help but smile.

"So do you support the Harpies?"

"Yes."

"But you're friends with Lawrence?"

"What aren't I allowed to be friends with somebody who plays for another team?"

The man laughed and turned to go speak to somebody else.

"So you live with Sanders you didn't say that."

"You didn't ask me."

"Oh your one of those girls! I'm going to have to ask lots of questions to find anything out about you then."

"No, but you'll have to spend time with me to find things out."

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

Lily licked her lips lightly looking up at the ceiling.

"Maybe."

"How would you like to come for dinner with me tomorrow night?"

"Oh I'm working tomorrow."

"Till when?"

"Nine."

"How about you come round to mine then, and I'll make you dinner."

"You cook?"

"Well I have to if I want to eat."

She grinned taking a sip of her drink just as Caitlyn ran over.

"Lily, Lily we won! We won the cup! I can't wait to rub it in Sirius' face."

"You go do that then."

"Here have some Champaign."

"Oh I don't think I should."

"Lily I'm ordering you to drink the Champaign."

"Ordering?"

"Yes and you too Matthews get drinking it's a night of celebration."

Lily took the glass and gently sipped it looking at Lawrence.

"Sorry about her she's drunk."

"Well she's better than some drunken people most of them get angry but she gives out alcohol."

Lily stood up.

"If you don't mind I need to go to the ladies."

"Of course, would you like another drink?"

"Yes please."

"Champaign?"

"No thank you, I'll have a cherry syrup and soda, oh with ice and a little umbrella."

"You expect me to remember that?"

"Just tell George, Lily's usual, he'll know."

She went into the ladies and looked in the mirror brushing her hair out of her eyes, a cubicle door opened and Delia walked out.

"Hi Lily, good game right."

"Yeah."

"You and Matthews' ay?"

"He's nice."

"He's hot, if you get bored send him my way."

"Oh and I'm sure that Stuart would love that."

"What he don't know can't hurt him."

Lily headed into the cubicle and when she came out Delia had gone, washing her hands she smiled at herself in the mirror and then headed back out to the bar. Lawrence was sat with Gideon Prewett and Lily headed over to him.

"Hello Evans."

"Prewett how's your brother?"

"Good he qualified as an Auror last year."

She nodded looking at the drinks.

"Thanks."

She picked hers up and took a sip.

"How can you drink that?"

Gideon laughed at Lawrence's words and Lily smiled.

"I open my mouth and drink it, simple. Here try it."

She handed it over and he took a sip pulling a face.

"No I think I'll stick to my red current rum."

Lily just laughed as the evening continued and she found that she enjoyed herself more than she thought that she would.


	9. Nine

Chapter 9

Lily sat on the grass the omnicolours pressed tightly against her eyes; she didn't know how to feel as she watched the game continue. This season had taken a complete turn and everything they had thought so sure of was not so sure anymore.

Will's voice echoed through the stadium loudly announcing what was happening to all.

"Matthews has the Quaffle and what's this Black hits it from his hand."

Lily booed as Eddie shook his head.

"I thought you'd agreed to help out today."

"I know, but I'm so caught up in the game."

"Puddlemere are going to win you know."

"No way it's the Arrows all the way this year mate."

Eddie laughed as Lily looked up; it was surprising how her loyalties had shifted in the space of a year. She always found it a weird thought when she remembered that she had only known Larry for a year and at this point last year she had been rooting for the Harpies to win.

It was a pity that the Harpies had had such a bad season but for the players Lily supposed it wasn't too bad. Holly had gotten engaged to Clint and was happily arranging her wedding while Delia and Stuart were expecting their first child.

Andrea though their keeper had vanished in December and nobody had seen or heard from her since. Lily was sure it was the work of Voldemort and his followers after all she had been openly opposing him along with the rest of her family.

They had had a tough season and as much as Lyn had not wanted to admit it there was no way they were going to get the Cup. Lily though wasn't too upset although she was still a big Harpies fan she wanted the Arrows to win; she wanted her Larry to be the winner.

She smiled to herself yes he was her Larry now. They had been dating for a year and she never felt happier. She loved Larry so much and the more time she spent with him the more she realised she didn't want to be away from him.

"What's this Hardwick and White go for the Snitch and yes Hardwick has won the game for the Arrows and that means the Quidditch Cup this year goes to the Appleby Arrows, bad luck Puddlemere."

Lily jumped up from the grass and started screaming. Eddie was laughing as she spun around in a circle. Around her the Puddlemere team were landing but she didn't care. However it was with a large surprise that she felt a pair of arms come around her waist swinging her up into the air.

"Hey beautiful."

She turned to look at Larry and grinned up at him letting her lips brush his. He pulled back from her and her eyes widened as he dropped onto the grass and pulled a small box out from his pocket.

"Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

She gasped just looking at the man on his knees, around her the stadium had gone into complete silence. She couldn't move and just grinned and nodded her head. Larry was on his feet in seconds kissing her as cheers resounded across the stadium and the ring was slipped onto her finger.

The grin widened as she looked at her hand and back at the large man in front of her. She kissed him again letting her lips linger slightly on his before she pulled back. Flashes were going off around her but she didn't care as Larry stepped back.

"Better go see the fans I'll see you in a little while."

Lily just nodded and watched her fiancé walk away. Her fiancé she couldn't believe it at all. Turning she found Eddie standing a little away from her and ran towards him jumping into his arms and allowing him to spin her around. She was all giddy and laughing non-stop.

It took twice as long as usual to pack away all the medi equipment and then the pair headed up to the pub. Ethan was on the door and he was busily trying to keep people out of the pub he looked up when they were there.

"Good game wasn't it."

"Sure was Ethan."

She grinned at him as the photographer turned and looked at her.

"You're Lily Evans right?"

"Yeah."

"How do you feel being the fiancée of Lawrence Matthews?"

"Great."

She grinned as she said it and waved her hand in front of Ethan's face.

"Congratulations Lily."

"Thanks."

She entered the pub with Eddie and headed straight to the bar for the Champaign. Around her people were smiling and laughing and it wasn't long before the teams entered. She watched as Larry and Gideon thumped each others back as a pair of arms found their way around her.

"Congrats Miss Evans."

She turned and grinned up into the brown eyes of her friend.

"Well thank you Mr Lupin."

"I shall be awaiting my invitation."

"You shall get one I promise you, and I shall look to the night sky before setting a date as well."

"I'll hold you to that you know."

She grinned passing him a glass of Champaign.

"Now Lily are you trying to get me drunk again?"

He'd put his hand to his mouth in a worried yet quizzical way and Lily tried to keep a straight face looking at him.

"Of course. It's the only way that you're going to be brave enough to ask Carly out."

"I can ask her out without alcohol."

"Who can he ask out?"

She turned and smiled at Sirius as he enveloped her in a hug. He left one arm around her shoulder while looking at his mate.

"Never mind."

"No come on Moony who can you ask out."

The man looked at his friend. Lily grinned as he squared his shoulders and shaking his head slightly allowed his sandy hair to fly loose and headed over towards the young healer to offer to buy her a drink.

"He's so easy."

Lily laughed looking up at the dark haired man.

"Sorry about the game, you played well though."

"Thanks and congrats let's look at the ring."

Lily lifted her hand and he whistled.

"Well he's rich that's for sure."

She swatted the man as Larry found his way over and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hello flower."

"Oh that's sweet you've got a pet name."

"Shut up Padfoot."

"Do I get an invite to the wedding of the year then?"

Lily lifted her eyebrow at him

"Who said it was going to be wedding of the year."

"You wait and see Lily, you wait and see."

* * *

Okay want to make clear that this is a Lily and James story but you'll have to wait until chapter fifteen for James. But I promise you its worth the wait and Larry's a nice guy so get to like him a little ;D 


	10. Ten

Chapter 10

Lily dropped onto her bed and looked up at the ceiling. The room was spinning and she felt ready to throw up at any second. Larry's strong arms wrapped around her and she let her head rest on his shoulder.

"You feeling any better my flower?"

She closed her eyes and made a soft groaning noise in the back of her throat. She was sure she could hear him laugh lightly. Lily knew that she had brought this on herself. After the photographers had finished with their pictures a group of them had sat around a large table.

Lily had found herself with Sirius, Gideon Prewett, Carly Foster and Remus and they were downing shots of Firewhisky and then moved onto vodka and anything else they could find. Larry had taken the drink from her and then Gideon had decided to make toasts to the happy couple and she continued drinking.

"I think I'm going to throw up!"

She tried to stand up, wobbled and Larry picked her up. She found herself with her head down the toilet and allowed herself to empty her stomach. She felt a little better and almost laughed when a cold flannel was wiped across her face.

"Feel better now?"

She nodded and stood up grabbing her toothbrush and scrubbing at her teeth trying to take away the horrid taste. Straightening up she looked up at her fiancé and grinned.

"You're too good to me, you know that?"

"No you just can't handle shots."

Laughing she headed back into her bedroom and dropped back onto her bed looking up at the ceiling.

"What you thinking?"

"Life's great. I've got good friends, a good job and the love of a fabulous man."

"Who is he? I'll kill him."

She turned giggling lightly and wrapped her arms around the mans shoulders drawing him closer to her.

"I hope you're not going to kill him, because then I won't see you anymore."

"We could go on the run, see the world and live under the names Bobby and Betty."

"Okay well you can be Betty and I'll be Bobbi."

"Bobby's a bloke's name."

"Not if you spell it with an i."

Larry's fingers found her ticklish spot in her ribs and she began to squirm. A sly grin came across the mans features and she grabbed at his hands trying to stop him. She managed to get hold of one of his hands and before he could react she pulled him close kissing him roughly causing his tickling to stop.

She pulled away looking into his eyes a grin spreading to her features as he captured her lips again. She let her hands move to his hair as he deepened the kiss and they got closer to each other. As they kissed Larry's hands wondered her body and she found her fingers undoing his shirt trying to get at his chest.

"Oh sorry."

They sprung apart as her door slammed shut and her eyes moved from Larry to it.

"Was that Lyn?"

"Do you have another flatmate you haven't told me about?"

She swotted Larry swinging her legs off the bed. He made a protesting noise but she wiggled her eyebrows as she slung on a top and walked out of her room. She looked into the kitchen and found Ryan making a pot of tea.

Ryan Reynolds was the seeker for Wigtown Wanderers he was two years older than she was and had been in school with them. She remembered that he had been one of the star players of the Hufflepuff team and with his good looks he had always been a heartthrob.

He grinned as he saw her and pointed towards the second bedroom and she nodded. Ryan had been dating Lyn for five months now and Lily had to admit he was one of the better boyfriends she had brought home.

Lily tapped the door to Lyn's room and walked in. The girl was spread out on the bed a magazine in her hand, and she looked up and grimaced.

"Sorry about that I didn't realise that you two would be –"

"It's alright no harm done. So what did you want?"

"To see if it's true."

"What?"

Lyn pointed at her third finger and Lily made an 'oh' sound and waved her left hand in front of her friend. A grin spread up her face as Lyn gasped jumping up from the bed grabbing her hand.

"Wow it's beautiful."

"I know and its mine."

"I'm so jealous."

"You could get one too."

"What is it?"

"Diamond."

Lyn grinned grabbing Lily into a fierce hug.

"You know this means things are going to change Lils."

"Yeah I'm going to be Lily Matthews."

"And you're going to be moving out of here and I'll be here all on my own."

"What with Ryan for company."

Lyn laughed and looked back at her magazine.

"You'll have to start organising your wedding that's going to be tough."

"Not if I have help."

"So Larry is going to do things for it."

"No you are silly."

"Me!"

"Well yeah as maid of honour it will be your job."

Lyn's arms wrapped around Lily's neck and both started laughing bouncing on the bed. The door opened and Ryan looked in.

"Sorry to interrupt but its like three in the morning any chance I'm going to be able to kip tonight?"

Lily jumped onto the floor smiling.

"We'll sort this out tomorrow Lyn."

With that Lily closed the door and headed back to her own room and Larry.


	11. Eleven

Chapter 11

The gate closed as the lift started its climb to the Aurors office a yawn passed the redheads lips as she looked at her watch. She was a little late she was suppose to have started at eight and it was now quarter past. She had slept late and knew there would be something said.

The gate opened and Lily stepped out. It was busy she could hear the bustling of voices and walking slowly she entered the office areas. She had spent yesterday with Larry and Lyn going over plans for the wedding. They wanted to make it soon before September anyway.

The plans were already in motion and they were trying to find somebody to marry them. In fact since the Quidditch season had just ended and there would be a month before the teams started up training again Lyn and Larry were already looking into venues and everything else.

Lily shook her head looking around at everyone. The Aurors were sat around at their desks going through paper work and she quickly walked passed them all until she came to a room just off the main offices. Inside were about four or five people.

She entered the room looking around and found Eddie hunched over a desk. With a smile on her face she headed over and dropped her hand onto his shoulder. He jumped a little and grinned up at her.

"Oh look it's the bride to be finally decided to come into work then."

"Yes, where is everyone?"

"Oh there's been an emergency at the hospital so Heidi, and Dave have gone back to help out and then everyone else if off."

"I thought that Gavin was starting here today."

"He is he's doing the night shift, him, Blake and Nicolas. Then Hayley, Tess, Laura and Abs have the day off."

"Oh."

She looked around the room Clara, Carly and Stuart were hunched over a desk looking through some pamphlets everyone was quiet. She turned back and looked over at what Eddie was doing.

"Hey are those of Kimberly's christening?"

"Yeah good aren't they."

Lily grinned as she picked up a photo. Kimberly had been born on December 19th and she was the pride of Eddie's life. She was a gorgeous child Lily had to admit she had inherited her fathers red hair but it wasn't like Lily's or Eddies it was a copper colour with natural blonde highlights that came from Libby. Her eyes were a sparkling blue and she was always smiling, well unless Lily was near.

Eddie had made a joke out of it first but even now when she was six months old she didn't like being around Lily. Whenever she came around Kimberly would cry bloody murder but if Larry looked at her she'd laugh and smile happily.

"These are fantastic Eddie."

"Yeah pity we haven't got a good photo of Kim and her godmother."

"Well I can't help it if she cries around me."

He laughed as she dropped into the seat next to him. Giving him a little look she bit her lip and he looked at her.

"Say it."

"What?"

"Lily I've known you what four years now. I know when you've got something on your mind."

"Okay well you know how I don't get on with my family."

"Yeah Lils what?"

"Will you give me away?"

Lily had to laugh at the look on the mans face it was as if he had never thought of it.

"Me really?"

"Okay Eddie you're like my big brother please."

"I'll do it."

She squealed and grabbed him in a hug and Carly looked over. The dark-haired woman headed over towards them a small smile on her face.

"Hiya Lily, how you feeling?"

"Sober, oh Merlin you should have seen the state on me Saturday night."

"It couldn't have been as bad as me. Remus came round and we spent the night fighting over the bathroom, so not good."

"So you and Remus then?"

The woman shrugged as Moody appeared in the doorway.

"We've got a meeting in five minutes you should all attend."

He turned and disappeared and Lily followed Eddie out into the office area. The Aurors were gathered around all leaning on their cubicles with Moody in the middle.

"Okay so today's meeting is just a quick review. I want to say thanks to everyone that helped out in Fridays attack in Hogsmeade we did good, the Medi team worked well with us as usual but I am afraid there was one major casualty but apart from that we captured three Death Eaters and the villagers are again safe."

Lily smiled as Moody dismissed them, looking around she spotted James and he smiled at her. It was a weird thing she worked so closely with him again and yet there could never be anything between them again. She had loved him she knew it and to have lost him was one of the hardest things in her life, but life does go on.


	12. Twelve

Chapter 12

"Can I look yet?"

"Nope just keep walking."

Lily did as she was told letting Larry guide her around the place. With her eyes covered with his hands her other senses were picking up she could smell tobacco mixed with oils and beers it was very musky and made her stomach slightly uneasy.

Suddenly light appeared and she could hear people yelling surprise as she blinked looking around she was in the Leaky Cauldron and a party was being thrown. Turning she threw her arms around Larry grinning happily. Looking over his shoulder was a large banner with the words 'Congratulations on the engagement'

"Did you do all this?"

Larry shook his head and jabbed his thumb towards two grinning people. Lily looked and saw Eddie and Lyn standing there. Untangling herself from Lary she ran at them grabbing them both into a tight hug laughing happily.

"I can't believe you did all this."

"For you of course we did."

She laughed at Eddie's words kissing him gently much to the horror of Lyn who made a gagging noise.

"Now none of that woman my misses is here somewhere."

She pushed him away as a drink was placed in her hand curtsey of Larry and she looked at them all.

"I can't believe you did this and the three most important people in my life all together it's brilliant."

"Hey don't I count?"

She spun laughing as she passed her drink to Eddie throwing her arms around Remus' neck.

"Now it's even better because the four most important people in my life are here."

"That's better."

Lily didn't have much time to talk to them as she was whirled away to speak to everyone. She had a twenty minute debate with Jack Shadow and Tim Davies about how Larry was going to be too tired from now on to be their star chaser which caused the man to blush and move away from the conversation.

When she finally managed to get away she found him standing with Gideon and his brother Fabian, moving towards them she found herself caught by Heidi and Dave and she had a quick conversation with the pair before getting next to Larry.

"You know what Larry it's a nightmare trying to get to you, everyone wants to speak to me."

"Well you are the beautiful bride to be."

"That's good Larry you keep her sweet."

Lily laughingly shot Fabian a killer look and he pretended to cower.

"Now come on Lily I didn't mean anything by that don't give me that look."

"You think that look is bad Fabian you should see the one she gives me when she's annoyed."

"Does her left eye twitch a little and the right side of her mouth curl up slightly?"

"Yeah that's the one!"

"Will you two stop it, you're suppose to be nice to me."

"Who told you that Lils?"

The two men laughed and Gideon winked at her as Larry took her hand in his.

"I don't believe I've told you who my best man is have I flower?"

"No why who is it? Please don't say it's Simon he's a prat, he'll lose the rings."

"Don't worry its Gideon."

She squealed and threw her arms around his neck much to his protests. When she pulled away he was a little red in the face and laughing she kissed his cheek.

"Will you stop kissing all the men you're only allowed to kiss me!"

She made a face before moving around the room again. She stopped to talk to Carly and Remus, who were happily dating and had been together for two weeks. She smiled and waved at Sirius who was stood with James and she was sure Peter was with them.

Carl had turned up and was talking to Moody and Abs was over in a corner drinking with Clara and Gavin. She was really enjoying the day and it was even better when Kimberly smiled at her, it was a small smile and she was sure it was because Larry was with her, but still she wasn't going to reject the smile.

The day was quickly ending and it was almost eight and she knew people would be leaving; she herself would be going home soon since she was due in work at five the next day. But before anybody could leave Larry was standing on a chair calling for silence.

"I want to thank you all for coming here today and helping to celebrate the engagement of myself and the lovely Lily. It's so good to see all your faces again although I'm sure I've never met some of you before, but it's a party enjoy the drinks."

A cheer sounded and Lily looked between the Prewett brothers and laughed as they banged their pint glasses together above her head.

"Yes we all like alcohol boys. But the reason I'm doing this is I thought what would be the best way to announce the date of the wedding and well you all deserve to know before the world so this is the only way I could think of doing it."

He had turned and was waving Lily up; she however shook her head refusing to move and to her complete embarrassment she was lifted up by Gideon and found herself on his shoulders so everyone could see her.

"Okay so Lily will be making an honest man of me on the fourteenth of August and I'm expecting to see all you lovely people there. You're invitations should be arriving tomorrow and with that I shall have to bid you goodnight as the lovely future Mrs Matthews needs an early night for work tomorrow."

People were clapping and Lily felt her feet touch back down on the ground, she turned to look at Gideon and he was smilingly looking at his brother.

"Hey you were right when she gets really mad her left eye does twitch and look the right side of her mouth has curled."

She shook her head and turned away trying to get to Larry. With waves to the people there she kissed him and left the party leaving him there to enjoy the night, she didn't mind at all.

Opening the door to her apartment she walked inside and dropped her bag on the sofa before heading to her room. Her head was spinning excitement ran through her body and she didn't think that she would be able to sleep it was a pleasant surprise when sleep did come.


	13. Thirteen

Chapter 13

It's surprising how quickly time passes especially when you want more of it to get things done. Lily's mind was spinning; it was July 31st and only two weeks until her wedding day. Most things had been sorted but there were two major things that she had put off. Her dress and the bridesmaid dresses.

So she had begged for a day off and Carly kindly swapped shifts with her so that she could go to the shops and get the dress that she needed. She had looked at many wizarding robes that were used for weddings but didn't like any of them. Then she remembered her ideal princess wedding day when she had been younger and she had decided on a muggle dress.

Of course Megan and Lyn had been horrified by the idea; both were from proper wizarding families and couldn't understand why she would want a muggle dress. She could understand why. She had left the muggle world behind three years ago when she had last seen her family but she needed to do this.

So with much complaint she led Megan (who was Larry's nineteen year old sister) and Lyn into Muggle London. She had looked through many bridal magazines and knew what kind of dress she wanted to have. They looked through some windows and then Lily found the shop that she wanted it stocked dresses by a designer named Alex Hanson.

So pulling on Lyn's arm the three women headed inside and Lily looked around she felt like she had died and gone to wedding heaven. There were dresses everywhere and only another two people in the shop. However she wasn't paying any attention to them she was too busy looking at the dresses.

"Lily?"

She felt her eyes widen as she turned slowly and looked into the blue eyes that belonged to her mother. She felt her chest tighten slightly but she wasn't going to let this woman intimate her anymore.

"Hello mother."

A small gasp caused her to look at Megan whose mouth was now being covered by Lyn; the nineteen year olds blue eyes so much like her brothers were wide. Turning away though she looked back at her mother.

"What are you doing here Lily?"

"What most people do, looking for a wedding dress?"

"You're getting married?"

"No I just want the dress, what do you think?"

"You don't need to use that tone with me."

"What are you doing here?"

"You remember my friend Justine well her daughter Lizzy is getting married in three months we're out looking for a dress."

"That's nice. Come on girls why don't we go somewhere else."

"Lily don't be like that."

"Like what mother? Like I don't want to speak to you. Well I don't you made me chose between you and what I am, and so there's no going back."

"Wait, when are you getting married tell me that."

Lily was determined not to say anything but Megan had gotten free and was heading over.

"Fourteenth of August, she's marrying my brother Lawrence Matthews he's a famous Quidditch star plays for the Appleby Arrows."

"Oh that's a sport isn't it?"

Megan had nodded but at that moment Lizzy came out of the room shaking her head and Justine came over towards Lily's mother.

"It's a bit too expensive in here for us Silvia; we're going to head to another store. Why wait Lily is that you?"

"Its nice to see you again Mrs Morgan and congratulations Lizzy I'm sure you'll be very happy."

"Well you haven't changed a bit Lily. What are you up to now?"

"I'm a police doctor. Love my job and I'm getting married now on the fourteenth."

"Why you never told me that Silvia?"

"Why would she? She hasn't spoken to me in three years she didn't know. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go find a dress."

"Oh."

Justine looked a little taken aback but then smiled kindly at her.

"If I was you I'd find a nice dress and head down to Rings on the high street they have similar dresses but not as expensive."

"Oh there's no need for that Justine. Larry is quite wealthy there's no need to worry about money. Now if you don't mind I haven't got long I better get looking."

She pushed past and completely missed her mothers devastated look but then even if she had seen it she probably wouldn't have cared in the least. Lyn and Meagan were watching them but then when the door closed Megan was speaking.

"That was really mean of you Lily she's your mother she wanted to know about Larry I can't believe you haven't told her anything about him, and why isn't she coming to the wedding?"

"Because Megan I haven't seen her in three years. After I finished school she wanted me to leave that way of life and go back to my muggle ways well there was no way that was happening and she made me chose the family or our world, and I made me decision and I'm happy now lets go find a dress."

An assistant was standing close by and smiling came over to them.

"Hello my name is Sasha would you like any help?"

"Umm actually yes. My name is Lily Evans I spoke to a lady named Camilla on the phone last week she was putting away three dresses for me."

She smiled at the woman and she looked quizzical for a second before nodding and walking away.

"Wait you know exactly what dress you want and yet you've still dragged us along."

"Well you need to see it. Plus I need to see you in the dresses I've picked out."

The woman came back holding a white dress and smiled at Lily.

"It's an Alex Hanson design with the A-line skirt and beaded bodice."

"Yes that's the one."

"And you realise that the train is detachable right?"

"Yeah it'll be good for the party afterwards."

She nodded and Lily took the dress and headed to the changing rooms. She got into it and looked at herself in the full length mirrors. It was slightly too big on her waist and pulling out her wand she fixed that. She loved it instantly and knew that this was the one for her.

Leaving the changing rooms she smiled at the three women and spun around.

"Wow Lily you look gorgeous."

"My brother is going to die seeing you in that."

"I do love it, it's just perfect."

"It looks like it was made just for you miss."

"Thank you I shall be taking this one. I'll go change and can you bring the other dresses out for these two to try."

"Wait a minute Lily, what about a veil?"

"I don't need one."

"No if you're going umm traditional that's the word right, yeah you should have a veil."

She shrugged looking around and Sasha smiled kindly at her.

"Do you have a colour scheme for the wedding planned?"

"Yes it's going to be silver."

"Well give me a second."

Lily watched as she walked away and shot a look at the two girls they were laughing and for the first time Lily noticed the Champaign that the pair was swigging on. Well that was great all she needed was for Lyn to get drunk on the stuff.

The woman was back and handed her a veil over, it was a funny mix of colour and she just looked at it.

"Ivory and silver. Now I know your dress is white but it should go nicely, here let me just clip this on."

Lily looked at herself in the mirror and grinned.

"I'm getting married."

They laughed as Megan spoke up.

"Have you got shoes yet?"

"Yeah white vinyl open toed, they'll go with this."

The woman nodded and left to get the other dresses while Lily got changed back into her gypsy white skirt and green t-shirt. When she got out Sasha was back looking at the two girls. Lyn was holding a dress and so was Megan.

"Go on Lyn go try it on first."

She nodded and Lily could only hope that she wasn't too tipsy not to be able to alter the dress in the changing room. She was in there for a while and finally emerged smiling gently at Lily.

"Does this clash with my hair?"

She laughed her friend's now electric blue hair shown brightly but didn't affect how gorgeous she looked in the lilac dress. Lily had looked long and hard for something like this, it had small straps that sat on her shoulder and flowed down gracefully to the floor.

"I love this Lily, it's not silk though is it?"

"No satin miss. It fits you very well, are you going to take it?"

Lily nodded and looked at Megan.

"You should go try yours on."

And as she nodded and the woman was looking at Lyn she leaned in.

"And remember if it's a bit snug or loose use that spell and it will alter to fit you perfectly."

The girl left and Lyn took her seat next to Lily smiling.

"You looked gorgeous in that dress mate."

"Thanks. You know Ryan is going to be gobsmacked when he sees you too mind."

"Yeah and show some people who thought I was ugly what they're missing."

Lily laughed and Lyn just grinned.

"You haven't forgotten that Quidditch monthly is doing a whole piece on your wedding right."

"No I know that, and we have to go on the twelfth to have professional photos done for them, and then they'll take more on the day."

"Yep and the entire world will see how beautiful the pair of us are, and they'll be really gutted that they made fun of how we looked in Hogwarts."

"Do you mean Sirius?"

"Possibly."

Lily grinned at her taking a sip out of her glass as Megan came out. Lily gasped slightly she didn't look like the little girl that Larry thought of her as, she was beautiful. Her sandy hair fell softly around her face and her blue eyes were sparkling, and as for the dress it clung to her in all the right places.

"Larry is so going to kill you Lily for putting his baby sister in that dress."

"Why do I look really bad?"

Lily shook her head.

"No you look beautiful. So beautiful that Larry is going to have to try and keep all the men away from you."

She blushed before going back to change. Lily got up to pay for the dresses smiling happily. This was it, it was real she was getting married in fourteen days; there was nothing that could spoil this happy feeling for her.

* * *

Okay just to let you know the links are up on my author page if you want to see the dresses, they will be removed when I post the next chapter

Kris


	14. Fourteen

Chapter 14

"Okay and just look this way please Lily."

She looked at the photographer and nodded a little smiling. She was holding a small bouquet of silver flowers in her hands and smiled happily at the camera as snaps went off all around her. She had been there only ten minutes and she had been ordered into her dress with her veil on, and they'd quickly done her make-up and now she was having photos snapped.

She didn't mind doing this it meant that on the day itself she wouldn't have to worry about the magazine wanting posed photos it was better to get them over with now, but she felt a little uneasy stood on her own.

"Okay where's the father of the bride?"

"Oh my father isn't involved in the wedding; you want my friend Eddie Charlton."

"Oh alright where is he?"

Lily looked a little around and saw a red head in a muggle tux coming running over towards her. She smiled as the man stopped a little out of breath.

"Sorry I'm late, couldn't get away from work."

He looked at her for the first time and she saw the way his eyes travelled up and down her a few times.

"You look bloody gorgeous Lily Evans and I think I'm going to enjoy escorting you down the aisle."

She laughed and noticed out of the corner of her eye a flash going off. Eddie took her hand and kissed it as a flash went off again and then taking her arm they stood together. She smiled towards the photographer again as he snapped more pictures.

"Okay can we send in the Bridesmaids as well please?"

Lily grinned as Lyn and Megan walked over and Eddie whistled and she looked at him.

"Where'd the two lookers come from?"

"Now Eddie you better watch yourself if Libby heard that she'd go mad."

"Yeah and never mind my brother."

"Brother?"

"Oh Eddie this is Megan Matthews Larry's younger sister."

His eyebrow raised but they didn't have time to say anything as the photographer came forward.

"Okay here's what we'll do Caitlyn if you stand next to Eddie and then Megan your next to Lily, let me look, yes that's just right."

Flashes went again and Lily smiled happily. She couldn't believe that this was happening to her. She was Lily Evans a muggleborn witch who was a nobody really just a healer and yet she was living many young witches' dreams marrying a Quidditch star.

But she didn't see Larry as a Quidditch star she saw Larry the kind handsome man who loved her. She was just a twenty-one year old who was in love with a twenty-two year old, but the world didn't seem to want that they wanted them to be something to look up to, the perfect couple.

Nobody saw them fight, not one person had seen the times that Lily had been reduced to tears because of something that Larry had said to her. They didn't see the jealous nature that ran through the relationship with so many witches wanting him. Lily was always worried that one day he would fall.

"Okay everybody off except Lily. Now where's Lawrence gone?"

Her mouth dropped and she began to shake her head.

"No he can't come in its bad luck for him to see me in the dress."

"I've been watching from over there flower I think that's too late."

She spun and gasped slightly as she looked up at him. He was dressed in a black tux very much like the one that Eddie was wearing but it enhanced him made him look even better than he normally did and Lily's legs went to jelly as she smiled up at him.

He was walking towards her and she couldn't take her eyes from him and as he reached her and his arms came around her waist one word escaped her lips.

"Wow."

"I was going to say the same thing. You've never looked more gorgeous and here was me thinking that it was impossible for you to look any better than you already did."

She grinned and was completely unaware of the flashes going off around her as she leaned up and gently took the lips of the man in front of her. When she pulled back she looked around and saw everyone staring and Larry followed with his eyes.

"You I have something to say to you."

Megan's eyes widened as she looked at her brother and gulped.

"You look gorgeous I think Gideon and Caitlyn will need to bring their beater bats to keep the rest of the Quidditch men away from you."

"What if I want one?"

"Trust me Quidditch men are no good and I'm not letting my baby sister date one."

"You're a Quidditch man."

"Yes and that's how I know."

They laughed and Larry wrapped his arms around Lily placing her slightly in front of him for the camera more photos were taken and then Gideon, Eddie and the two girls joined them for group photos.

Lily couldn't be any happier than she was in that moment with two days left to her wedding everything was working out as she wanted. How was she suppose to know that with Friday thirteenth would come more bad luck than she would ever think possible.


	15. Fifteen

Chapter 15

Lily walked into the office at the Ministry she had a latish shift really as she had to sort out some last minute things she was working six until twelve and then she'd be home and in bed so that she would be refreshed for the next day. The wedding was at two and already she had nervous butterflies in her stomach and yet she knew it was right there was nobody else in the world for her.

It was quiet and she moved through the offices and was surprised to find a note on her desk from Eddie.

_Lily_

_There's been an attack up in Glasgow we've gone up to help out don't come to us go to the hospital to help out, I'll see you later_

_Eddie_

She crumpled up the note and took off to the lifts she couldn't believe that they hadn't contacted her. The lift was slow and taking forever but finally she was in the forum and running she got to the apparation point and left for the hospital.

She appeared in the staff area and ran to the emergency department Carl was there sorting out the mess that were the patients.

"Evans thank Merlin, we need someone with experience in the major injuries."

She nodded and ran through it was chaos people were everywhere and she didn't know where to start. Taking a deep breath she ran over to the closet person there was a trainee working on the patient and when Lily looked down she gasped it was Abs, he had been injured.

She had trained with Abs and hell she had been in Hogwarts with him, sure he had been a Hufflepuff student but she had known him since they were eleven. She ran her hand across his dark skin down to his neck. There was no pulse and he was cold, a small tingle ran through her body and she looked at the trainee.

"He's gone go help someone else."

The girl nodded and Lily looked back down at the man that had played a part in her life for so long. A small amount of tears where in her eyes but she shook her head and went over to the next patient.

She didn't know how long she was there but before she knew it the people had stopped coming in and it was getting easier to deal with people. Looking up at the wall it was only just passed eight o'clock and she knew that anybody not injured would be back in the ministry.

Walking out she saw Carl talking to a group of trainees who looked a little shaken up and Lily called out to him indicating she needed a private word he came over and she looked up at him her tears back in her eyes.

"We lost Abs."

"What?"

"It was too late when I got there, there was only a trainee with him and I'm going back to the ministry to inform them."

He nodded and she left heading back to the ministry. She got in the lift and headed up to their floor and found Moody stood there with a group of people including Eddie she didn't wait but moved through.

"Umm excuse me I've got something important to say."

Moody looked her up and down and nodded and she took a deep breath.

"I've just come straight from the hospital; it was bad we lost a lot of people. I don't know who was lost exactly although Moody I can say that Paris Little is dead, and we also lost Kenneth Abbott."

Everyone fell silent and Moody looked at her.

"Abbott, wait is that one of your lot?"

She nodded at him.

"Yeah Abs sir."

He nodded slightly and looked around.

"You heard the girl we've lost a good Auror tonight Paris was a fighter and should be remembered that way and Abs was a caring man with a great nature. It's been a tough night and we've had to fight hard but there's still more battles to come so we can't let our guards down at any moment."

He looked sideways at Eddie and the man shrugged and Moody continued.

"Okay so those uninjured get going and Potter, Longbottom you two are on nights tonight right. So you can get a head start on those reports."

Eddie's hand came onto Lily's shoulder and he led her over towards her cubicle.

"Want me to stay here with you tonight?"

"No you get home and I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright Stuart is in at midnight and I'll see you in the morning."

She nodded as he left her alone and she gently placed her head onto the desk, she was feeling exhausted all of a sudden her eyes were dropping and it was with shock that she sat up with somebody tapping her shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up into hazel eyes that once upon a time she had stared into for hours.

"Yeah what time is it?"

"Eleven. Frank's just left and I thought maybe we could talk it's a bit creepy in here at night on your own."

"Sure what do you want to talk about?"

She saw the way that he looked at the floor before meeting her eyes.

"Why are you marrying him?"

She hadn't expected that at all and looked around the room for a moment before looking back at him.

"Because I love him."

"You once loved me."

"Do we have to do this James?"

"Well you did."

"Okay I guess we're doing this. Yes I loved you James I really did and you broke my heart when you dumped me."

"It was a mistake."

He'd said it so quietly that she had hardly caught it. Closing her eyes tightly she took a deep breath before opening them and continuing.

"James we're in the past and we both need to move on. I love Larry and he loves me and I'm sorry but nothing can change the fact I'm marrying him."

"Okay, you're right I had you and it's my own fault that I still don't. Good luck tomorrow Lily."

"Aren't you going to be there?"

"I can't watch you marry someone else. I'm still in love with you and I know I'll love you until the day I die."

"I respect that James."

He looked down and back up at her.

"Do you think if things were different you would have married me?"

"I don't know maybe but there's no point thinking about that because it's not going to happen."

"Lily."

"Yes James."

It happened before she even saw it coming there was nothing she could do to stop him. His lips were pressed tightly against hers and he had somehow gotten access to her mouth. She remembered this kiss so well it was the same way he had kissed her so many times.

Her knees weakened slightly and she felt the fluttering in her stomach that had always been there but then she remembered Larry and pulled back.

"James no."

"You can't tell me there was nothing there."

"Of course there was something there James. I loved you and there's history between us but I'm with Larry so no nothing will happen between us."

"But Lily –"

"Hey Lily I thought that maybe you'd like to go home a little early and get some sleep before tomorrow."

She looked up and found Stuart stood there and smiled at him.

"Thanks Stu I really could do with some sleep."

"Thought so."

"Yeah I'll see you tomorrow then mate."

He nodded as she began to leave but James was following behind her.

"Lily please don't marry him."

"James this is over goodnight."

She left him standing there a little doubt playing in her mind. No she didn't want James she wanted Larry she loved Larry, but there was no denying that kiss. She opened the door to her flat and looking inside a scream left her lips…


	16. Sixteen

Chapter 16

She opened the door to her flat and looking inside a scream left her lips. Inside stood a figure that she hadn't seen before. A shiver went down her spine and she turned to run. A spell went at her though and pain shot through her body.

When the pain left she found herself on the floor. She wasn't completely in the apartment but she was far enough in to know that she was in danger and was unable to get out.

"So you're the mudblood filth that I've been told about."

"Who are you?"

"Ignorance doesn't look good on you girl."

Squinting a little she was sure she saw somebody else in the flat with the man but she wasn't a hundred percent certain.

"I'm sorry but I don't know who you are?"

"I'm disappointed my followers told me that you were smart."

In that moment she knew who she was speaking to. The weak moonlight caught the face of the man stood in front of her and she felt the blood inside her veins freeze.

"Voldemort."

"That's the Dark Lord to you."

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Liar! But you don't need to fear me I have an offer for you. I need a spy somebody that is close to the Aurors, to Alastor Moody and could get even closer to Dumbledore and that's where you come in. Be my spy and I will let you live, if not I shall have to kill you."

"Then kill me, I'll never help you."

She gritted her teeth and clutched her hands together she didn't care if this was it the end then so be it. She would rather die than help him get what he wanted.

"I thought you'd say that, but I know what will make you comply."

He turned slightly and as he did Lily tried to drag herself out of the flat to apparated away. But she hadn't gotten far when pain shot through her body again. She could feel herself scream but didn't realise that she had done it.

The pain lifted and she looked back and screamed again but this time she knew that she had done it. She couldn't help but scream as she looked into Larry's panicked eyes.

"Now now Lily we don't want you escaping away just yet we haven't finished our conversation. Now you're going to be my spy or I shall kill this pathetic excuse for a man."

Tears were in her eyes as she looked at Larry and she nodded slowly.

"If I help you, you'll let him live that's a promise."

"Of course my followers help me and I in turn help them. So you'll do it for me then."

She was about to nod when she saw Larry shake his head his eyes were wide and she was staring into them like she had been doing for over a year. She knew him as well as she knew herself knew that he didn't want her to do this, that he wanted her to leave him there.

"Larry no, no I'm not going to do that."

Voldemort looked from her down to him and hit him hard with a spell she watched as he crumpled to the ground.

"LARRY!"

"NOW ANSWER ME MUDBLOOD."

She opened her mouth but before she could answer a yellow flash went over her head and she felt a pair of arms grab her upper body and she was yanked backwards out of the door.

"NOOOOOOO!"

She could hear the mad man inside shouting and then the worse words in the wizarding world was yelled.

"Avada Kavada."

She began to shake as sobs took over her body. The arms were back around her and she felt herself being apparated away from the place where she had just lost the man she loved. The arms stayed around her and she felt herself being picked up.

"He's dead."

She was sniffing as the arms held her close to a body; a small bouncing sensation told her that she was being moved.

"Shh it's alright Lily you're safe."

"But Larry's dead."

Her body began to shake again as she was carried over to the lift. It clunked loudly down towards them and she dropped her head onto his shoulder her mind was reeling over everything that had happened in such a short amount of time.

"Lily I promise you things are going to be okay."

"They're not though."

She looked up slightly and her watery green eyes met with strong hazel ones that were filled with worry and sympathy.

"Lily please I'll make sure things are okay."

"But James what if –"

"Shh now come on."

She was still sniffing and tears were running down her face as she continued to cry, but it was hard she was so tired she had been tired before she had left the office and then after everything that happened she was too tired.

She found herself placed gently in a chair as James yelled for Stuart. He came running out and Lily looked at him, he didn't seem to know how to react to her appearance. She continued to cry as James spoke to him and then he was gone and James was holding her gently, rubbing her back.

Stuart appeared again a little while later holding a small container and handed it to her.

"Just take that."

"I don't want to sleep."

"Come on Lils take it you need it."

"But what if he comes for me?"

"I won't let him get you."

"But James –"

"But nothing Lily. When you wake up I'll be here with you okay."

Still the tears came she nodded slightly and downed the potion as the tears continued on and then her eyes became heavy and everything went black.

* * *

Okay so this is the last post before Christmas. I just want to say

**Nadolig Llawen ****a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda**

Which is Welsh for

**Merry Christmas ****and a Happy New Year**

Hope you all have a good one.

Kris


	17. Seventeen

Chapter 17

A bird was singing Lily could hear its gentle song. A small smile came to her face as she stretched opening her eyes slowly. She felt at peace as if everything was right with the world. As her sleep left her though and she looked around puzzlement overcame the peace.

She knew where she was and part of her thought that this was right. She looked up at the white walls and the pale blue curtains they were her past defiantly. Moving a little she turned and saw her bedside table that held pictures from her childhood and a bookcase filled with all the books that she had left behind.

She was confused now why was she here? She was getting married she should be in her flat, Lyn would be arriving back from Ryan's soon and Megan would be heading round. Why on earth was she in her old bedroom in her parent's house? She didn't even speak to them anymore.

Rubbing her eyes she stood up slipping her feet onto the soft carpet the memories of a horrible nightmare that she had had came to her mind. The thought of Voldemort standing in her flat and having Larry held captive and then killing him. The thought of the nightmare was enough to send shivers down her spine again.

Walking towards the door she found that her legs were very stiff and she was a little worried about that. Maybe she had knocked them on something but then again maybe she had just slept a little awkward.

She reached the landing and headed down the stairs the smell of bacon frying catching onto her senses. Maybe she had come to see her parents last night to let them know about the wedding, to ask them to come but why couldn't she remember it?

Slowly she stepped into the kitchen and felt her eyes drop. This couldn't be happening to her. No it wasn't happening to her this was a weird dream and she'd wake up at any moment. She pinched herself hard and winced at the pain causing the man sitting with her parents to turn.

"Morning Lily."

"It wasn't a dream was it?"

Her eyes were locked on his and she was watching his every movement carefully. He shook his head and she began to sob, her legs felt weaker than before and they buckled under her weight. He was quick though and had grabbed her before she hit the floor. Her head once more found his shoulder as her tears became heavier.

"Lily come on let's sit you down and get you some water."

"Why?"

"Because you need something to drink."

"No I mean why Larry? Why last night? Why were you there? Why did you save me and not him?"

Lily allowed James to carry her over to the chair. It wasn't like she had much choice she couldn't stand up and her tears were running so fast she could barely see.

"I can't answer those Lil only Voldemort can."

"You can tell me why you were there."

She could see his hand was moving through his hair and she felt as if she knew the answer. He had been there to try and talk her out of marrying Larry and well he'd been saved a job now Larry was gone forever and she'd never have him back.

"It doesn't matter why I was there, I just was. I saw you on the floor saw a flash from inside and knew there was trouble. I pulled you out Lils because you were in the door. I couldn't get in to Larry until I'd moved you but I was too late and I'm sorry he was a good man and he didn't deserve to die."

"I loved him and James it's not fair today was our wedding day and oh Merlin the wedding somebody's got to –"

"Its all being taken care of Eddie and Caitlyn are going around telling your guests and I've got Fabian with Larry's family and I know he's taken Gideon with him. Then Alice has gone to see the vicar and Frank has gone to see the people at the reception."

She nodded while sniffing heavily.

"Why am I here?"

"Lily darling James brought you to us because you'll need us, your family."

"You haven't been there for me in three years mother so what makes you think I'll need you now."

"Because we love you."

"If you'd have loved me you wouldn't have made me chose, you would have realised that I belong in the magical world it's who I am, and James why here?"

"Where else could I have taken you?"

He'd said it quietly and she knew he was right she couldn't have gone to Lyn she was with Ryan and although they would have had her in they couldn't have helped her. Then there was Eddie he had Libby and Kim to worry about she couldn't impose and as for Larry's family they needed to do things their own way.

He was watching her and she slammed her head on the table allowing the tears to run free again. Her mothers hand was on her back but her dad hadn't moved an inch since she had come down, his voice though when he spoke was comforting.

"Lily I'm sorry for everything, we can't change the past but we're here for you know if you want us."

She looked up her green eyes sparkling with more unshed tears and nodded allowing him to move and hug her. She didn't see James step back, didn't see that he was in pain just like she was.

She did however hear the doorbell and jumped at its sound. Her mother ran to the door and as she left the back door opened.

"Only me are you ready to go shopping mum?"

Lily turned and saw her sister standing there. She looked like somebody had waved a smelly old boot under her nose and a horrid glance came to her eyes.

"What are you doing here and your freak of a boyfriend?"

"Petunia!"

More tears were pouring from her eyes but then she heard a voice that made her stop, made her hold in her tears and look up.

"Lily"

Albus Dumbledore was stood in the kitchen looking extremely out of place in his amber robes. His grey beard was tucked into the belt and his eyes that Lily always remembered filled with so much laughter were sorrowful.

"Professor."

Her voice was still wobbly as were her legs but she stood up and walked slowly towards him. She could hear Petunia muttering in the background but she was hushed by their father.

"No need for formalities Lily. I'm not your headmaster anymore feel free to call me Albus."

"Or Albee"

"James you are the only one to call me that!"

He winked at Lily and she smiled gently. Being around this old man always had this affect she couldn't help but smile at him and she didn't know that she wasn't the only one affected by him in that way.

"Now Lily I'm terribly sorry to hear about Larry's death. He was a good man, I remember him in school a Hufflepuff you might remember that he was a prefect the year above you. Wasn't the smartest when it came to pen and paper matters but there was a kindness in him that more people should have."

She nodded at him gently biting her lower lip.

"He was the kindest person I think I've ever met, he could make me laugh one minute and be all serious the next. I just can't believe it happened."

"I know but I'm here on important business. Alastor would like to be here himself but he was attacked last night and –"

"Moody was attacked, what happened Albee."

"Not now James."

Lily could see that the man was anxious to speak to her but she wanted to put it off for as long as possible.

"Is he alright Albus?"

"Yes he'll be fine just needs to spend time in the hospital."

"Why?"

She could see that he knew what she was doing. But she also knew he would go along with it until he could get back to what they needed to talk about.

"He's lost a leg and his left eye."

"WHAT?"

James had almost shouted it and Lily too wanted to yell that. Alastor Moody with only one leg that wouldn't couldn't be right. Albus though just nodded gravely.

"Yes after the failed attack on you last night it seems that Voldemort decided to go after Alastor, he only just got away mind. But Voldemort cursed his leg so badly that it had to be removed straight away. But don't fear that's not going to stop Alastor he's already managed to get himself a fake leg and is trying to hobble around the place, doesn't want to sit still."

Lily smiled gently at the image of the man on one crutch hobbling around the hospital shouting commands at everyone and a small laugh escaped her lips which made her feel instantly guilty. She shouldn't be laughing Larry was dead.

"What about his eye Albee?"

"I don't know James; he said something about Voldemort thinking he sees too much. Well if he thought he saw too much before wait until he sees him now. Alastor has managed to get hold of a very special eye, lets him see a lot more than before. This leads me back to my original reason for being here; I have to know what happened last night Lily."

She nodded and looked at him.

"You don't need to know everything do you?"

She shot James a look out of the corner of her eye but he was happily pretending to be looking at the sunflowers in her parents back garden. Albus caught this look though and she watched him shake his head.

"Only from the part where you arrived back at your apartment unless you really want to tell us something."

"I left work early I was suppose to be there until midnight but James and I were arguing and then Stu was there early so I left before my shift was over."

"You only left half hour early."

"But that was still early James."

"No it wasn't."

"Yes it was."

"It's nice to see some thing's never change."

Lily looked at her old headmaster and blushed slightly there was no point fighting with James now especially over something as stupid. She shook herself and took a deep breath before continuing.

"I remember opening the door and screaming. I could see somebody but I didn't know who it was I was hit with Cruico before I could leave the pain was so terrible and then I looked up and I could see who it was, and I knew I could see somebody with him I just didn't know who it was."

Tears were once again forming in her eyes as she looked around the room at her family sat at the kitchen table listening to every word she was saying even Petunia was silently waiting for more.

"He wanted me to spy for him. I don't know why he chose me but he said he wanted somebody close to the Aurors, to Moody and someone who could be close to you. He said if I didn't he'd kill me."

Her legs wobbled a little and she grabbed onto the counter refusing to move.

"I told him to kill me and then he hit me with Cruico again and then Larry was there at his feet tied up. He told me that I was to be his spy or he'd kill Larry. He promised me he wouldn't kill Larry and I was going to do it. I was going to spy for him to save Larry because I love him so much I can't live without him."

"But Larry didn't want me too. I could see that it was all in his eyes he'd rather be dead than have me work for Voldemort. He hit Larry with something and he was gone, out cold on the floor and Voldemort was yelling at me to tell him my answer. Then well then I was dragged out of the flat and he said, he said the spell and I knew Larry was dead and it's my fault."

She spluttered a cry trying to hold it in but Albus didn't seem to notice as he was looking straight at James. She noticed this and looked between them.

"What? What am I missing?"

"Not now I need to see Alastor before I can place this together. James is going to stay with you to make sure that you're safe."

He was gone just like that and Lily was left standing in the kitchen looking at James for answers.


	18. Eighteen

Chapter 18

Lily was curled up on the sofa in the living room of her parent's home with a mug of coco in her hand. She was so tired because she had spent most of the day crying, but now the tears had stopped she couldn't cry anymore of them away.

She was watching a muggle show that she had always loved the golden arrow game show but she couldn't smile anymore, couldn't laugh as she watched it. All she could do was stare at the people, they all looked so happy but yet she felt they should be as sad as she was.

A small hub of conversation was coming from the kitchen where her parents were sat with Petunia, Vernon and James but Lily didn't want to join them. She knew they were asking about Larry wanting to know everything James could tell them about him. Yet she didn't want them to know. He was hers not theirs.

Distinctly she heard a pop from outside and crawled into a tighter ball on the sofa allowing the pain from her legs to go through her. She was in a state and hadn't gone to the hospital yet. She knew that her legs needed seeing to they were cut to pieces and she could hardly move on them.

"Lily you've got a visitor."

James' voice sounded from the hallway but he didn't enter the room. She looked up and saw Eddie stood there. He seemed just as out of place as Albus had but he was dressed in black trousers and a blue t-shirt.

"Lily, my poor baby."

His arms were around her and she felt safe if only for the time being. She couldn't cry but she needed his arms, needed to have somebody that knew her now, who cared for her and had known Larry.

"It's not fair Eddie we were suppose to getting married today and instead he's in the morgue and I'm at my parents house."

"You can come stay with me and Libby if you want."

"Can James come?"

"Why?"

"I've got my own personal Auror who has to keep me safe."

Eddie's laughing was almost strange to her, and at his laugh she too joined in and the buzz of conversation from the kitchen died suddenly.

"It's not funny!"

"Yes it is! Little Lily Evans can't look after herself and needs a big strong Auror to look after her."

"Shut up!"

"Make me runt."

He'd moved back and she stood to go hit him but her legs gave way suddenly and he had to catch her.

"Lils you okay?"

The pounding of feet echoed through the hall and James was with them in a second.

"What happened?"

"She just clasped."

James nodded and Lily was placed back on the sofa. The two men stepped away for a second and then Lily saw Eddie pull his wand out as he came towards her. Her eyes widened and she froze in panic. Eddie must have noticed this as he quickly hid his wand.

"No Lily its okay. I'm just going to check your legs over since Stuart didn't bother last night. I'll be having words with him."

"He gave me a sleeping potion."

Eddie smiled gently and the she felt his fingers on her legs, running up her thigh under her knee length skirt. He looked up at her and pulled a face making her laugh.

"You're better behaved than most women; they usually think I'm a perverted man who wants to touch them."

Lily smiled before wincing slightly.

"Okay I'm going to get my wand out and do some work on those legs of yours before they start to scar okay precious."

Lily just closed her eyes and let her head rest on the pillow. She didn't feel the spells working, she didn't hear Eddie and James talking, didn't feel Eddie's lips on her forehead or his whispered goodbye, she was too deep in her sleep.

Slowly she blinked her eyes open and found James sat on a chair opposite his eyes on the TV screen. Turning her head slightly she caught sight of Jaclyn Smith on the screen and a small groan left her mouth.

"Oh you're awake Lily."

"Yeah and you're watching Charlie's Angels."

"I thought I was watching that woman in those shorts."

He was smiling kindly and she moved her legs to let him sit at the other end surprised by how much better they felt.

"Where'd Eddie go?"

"He went home about six hours ago. Oh take this."

"Six hours!"

James just nodded as she took the glass that was filled with a green liquid; she knew what it was. It would help with the after affects of the Cruico spell taking away the discomfort that she was feeling.

Placing the glass onto the coffee table she looked back at him.

"What time is it?"

"Nine."

She nodded looking around.

"Where is everyone?"

"They've gone to church to light a candle or something like that."

His brows were drawn together and she remembered that look. It was always the look he had worn when he was confused, when he didn't understand something that was probably really simple.

"It's a religious thing James. They light the candle in remembrance of someone they've lost and to say thanks for something good."

"Oh so it's a Catholic thing then."

He looked relieved and she shook her head slowly. He had never understood her religious beliefs when they had been in Hogwarts. Why she had worn a crucifix? Why she had prayed and said grace before her meals? She supposed that since he came from a non-religious background like many wizards and witches it was hard for him to understand.

"Where's that cross of yours anyway? You know the one with the bloke on it?"

"My crucifix. How many times do I have to tell you James? It isn't a bloke lying on a cross, its Jesus."

"Well where is it?"

"I don't wear it anymore."

"Why not? You never use to take the thing off."

"I don't believe in all that anymore, not really. It was a stupid muggle thing anyway. I'm a witch and no other witches or wizards for that matter wear them."

"You never thought it was a stupid muggle thing before."

"Well I do now!"

There was a strong tone to her voice that said it was final. But James had his brows drown together again and she looked up at him sighing.

"It was a sign of my muggle life and I didn't want that anymore. I don't go to church; I don't go to mass what's the point in wearing it when I'm not a Catholic. My mother's a Catholic and my father is a Catholic. Petunia well she never believed and I wanted to for my parents but now, well now I'm not like them at all. I'm a witch not a muggle and its time I stop acting like one."

"That never bothered you before Lily. You were always so proud of the fact you had muggle blood. You said it opened your eyes to things that most wizarding kind have forgotten. What's so bad about having that if it comforts you, if its part of who you are?"

"BECAUSE ITS NOT! James haven't you been living in the wizarding world? Or are you on plant Marauder where nothings real, where you can do whatever you like and never have to worry? Because it's not like that anymore its dangerous to be like me, to have a past that isn't completely wizarding."

She looked up at him and he looked at her. They fell silent as a screech sounded on the TV signalling that the car had spun over. Lily let her eyes land on it, watching how simple it really was. Those people had no idea of the real dangers in the world, a car, a plane no the real dangers were humans and their emotions and need of power, their greed.

"Jimmy said you haven't been home in three years."

"This isn't my home anymore."

"What happened to you Lily? I mean you were always so focused on what you wanted and your family was always top of every list you ever made."

"He didn't tell you then?"

"No, you tell me."

She turned away from the TV looking at a family picture taken when she was seventeen. She was sat on a chair with Petunia on her right behind them stood their parents her dad with his hand on her shoulder and her mothers on Petunia's.

"They changed me. I came home after our seventh year and everything was different. It had been horrible leaving Hogwarts I mean I loved it there James I felt that I belonged there and it was the first time outside of this place that I'd felt that."

"Yeah I remember feeling like that. Saying goodbye to everyone and not knowing what was going to come. It had always been easy we knew for seven years what was going to happen after we got home, we'd have some time off and go back."

She nodded her eyes still fixed on the picture.

"I'd broken up with you, or I should say you'd broken up with me and even though it had been nearly a month I was still heartbroken. All the plans I'd made for after Hogwarts had you in them. Then on the train Stephanie and I had this massive argument and she, Kayleigh and Louise stormed off and I haven't seen them since. So I only had Lyn left and I needed my family but it was really horrible."

"Petunia was getting married three weeks after we returned and she banned me from it. Said she didn't want a freak there and stormed off. That was the last time I saw her before today. Then there was mum and well she hated the idea of me being a witch."

"What? No Silvia was always encouraging you. She was proud of you for going to Hogwarts for being who you are, she didn't hate it."

"Maybe not at the beginning but she did hate it by the time I finished. She didn't want me to keep my connections to the wizarding world. She wanted me to come back here and live like a muggle. She said I should do a college course and go to University and get a degree so I could get a job. When I told her about getting a job in the wizarding world she told me if I did that then I was never to step foot in this house again so I left."

"Merlin Lily I didn't know that. But what about Jimmy he must have tried to convince your mum?"

"Convince her yeah right it was his idea. I'd already turned down his plans for me you see. Their first choice was for me to meet this guy I think his name was Steven or something like that. Well he was a lawyer and dad wanted me to marry him and start a family. But how could I do that James? He was a muggle and knew nothing about witches or wizards and besides I was still in love with you. He wanted me to get married, I said no and he threw me out."

She fell silent and turned to look at James he was pale and staring into the fireplace.

"I'm sorry I didn't know. I shouldn't have brought you here, I should have taken you to Remus'."

"It's alright how would you have known. I mean the longest conversation we've had in three years was last night when you tried to talk me out of marrying Larry."

"That was wrong of me."

She nodded a little.

"Doesn't matter now does it?"

"Yes it does. I shouldn't have done that and I wouldn't' wish him dead because he loved you. Its pretty difficult not to."

He was looking at the floor and she was glad since a small blush had come to her face. Her mind though was as active as it had ever been and watching him like that reminded her of something that had happened earlier.

"James when Albus was here earlier why did he look at you when I told him what had happened?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me."

He looked up and there was a scared look in his eyes as if he really didn't want to say something. He looked around the room a few times before nodding.

"Alright you know that the Aurors although led by Moody take their orders directly from Crouch don't you."

She nodded and he smiled gently.

"Well to put it nicely Crouch is an idiot. He's doing his best I'll give him that but he neglects important information. He's racist and won't listen to a word people like Remus have to say and well that means he's only getting half of what he does right."

"I see but what does that have to do with why Voldemort came after me?"

"Albee set up a secret order and there's a lot of us in it fighting to try and keep things safe. Lawrence was part of the Order and well Voldemort discovered that. He was going to kill Larry whatever happened Lily. His mistake was the fact that he thought that you were part of it and that's why he targeted you. He thought that you would be able to get the information he needed and I'm sorry."

Larry had been fighting Voldemort and she had never known it. She wasn't surprised after all Larry was a good man and believed in standing up for the small people but he'd kept it from her. That was why he was dead, why she had been targeted.

"Lily are you okay?"

"I want in."

"What? Lily no you can't."

"Why not?"

"Umm… Well you're not trained to fight –"

"I am trained to fight, I'm trained to heal. I'm as smart as you are and I'm in as much danger as everyone else. I've lost my fiancé today because of this Order and I want to know what Voldemort thinks is more important than human life. Larry fought for this thing you just said so yourself and I'm not taking no for an answer James. Even if it means I have to go to Hogwarts every single day and speak to Albus until I wear him down enough to agree."

He was smiling and that surprised her.

"I thought you'd say that. I'll take you to see him tomorrow."

She nodded and a yawn left her lips, looking at the clock it was close to eleven. Standing up she looked at James.

"I'm going to bed, you coming?"

"Is that an invitation?"

"Only to sleep on my bed nothing else. Those days are long over with."

He nodded and the pair headed upstairs to get some sleep, if either of them could.


	19. Nineteen

Chapter 19

Lily had eaten her way through three slices of toast and five mugs of tea by the time James showed his head downstairs. Her parents had long gone to church and she had been sat listening to the radio.

"Morning James there's some tea in the pot if you want it."

He opened a cupboard and pulled out a mug pouring the tea into it before taking a seat looking at her closely.

"How you feeling today?"

"Like I'm missing out on the first day of the rest of my life. Today I should be Lily Matthews instead I'm Lily Evans the woman with the dead fiancé."

"We don't have to go see Albee today mind."

"Yes we do."

He nodded sipping the tea before grabbing some toast off the rack. He ate it slowly looking around the kitchen.

"Hasn't changed a bit has it?"

"No I'm surprised by that."

"And me. Do you remember when we came here after sixth year?"

"Yeah I'd invited Remus over and you, Sirius and Pete tagged along with him. You and I got in a huge slanging match while dad was doing the BBQ and I stormed in here and wouldn't come out."

"Yeah fun times. But afterwards do you remember what happened after that?"

She shook her head and he smiled kindly.

"You received an owl from Nikki's mum. They'd been attacked and she was killed."

"Oh yeah and I started crying and ran out the garden. Then Petunia came after me, even though she wasn't speaking to me then because I was a freak, to tell me to stop it because I was embarrassing her in front of Vernon."

"Yeah and I followed behind her and we stood just outside this door. Then you told me what had happened and I held you and let you cry on my shoulder."

"Yeah and I asked you what would happen to the people who had done it. And how I hoped they would kill them."

She laughed gently as she took another sip of her tea; James bit into the toast but never took his eyes from hers.

"And I told you about the Dementors and how those people would be sent to Azkaban where the Dementors would take care of them."

"Yeah and Petunia overheard and screamed because she thought I was going to set one on her."

They both laughed and Lily looked outside the door.

"Why'd you bring that up?"

"Because that was the moment where I knew I wanted to protect you; that I would die to save you from anything. You opened up to me in that moment and let me in and I'd never felt closer to you."

She bit her lip gently and let out a long breath.

"That's when we changed. I mean I'd never seen that side of you before and when you held me and told me things would be okay I remember thinking that you'd grown up. I mean you weren't that stupid kid from before and that was the thing that made me say yes to you when you asked me out next."

She looked up and saw his dopey grin.

"I knew it! You liked the sensitive stuff!"

"Are you saying you put it on to try and get me to go out with you?"

"Worked didn't it."

She threw a piece of her toast at him shaking her head. She felt so guilty that she was smiling and laughing because she was suppose to be heartbroken crying all the time, but she couldn't help it James had this affect on her.

"It's nice to see you smile again."

"I shouldn't though."

"Look Lils as much as it pains me to say it, I liked Larry. I worked with him a few times for the Order and he always cared about your happiness he wanted to see you smile and I don't think he'd mind if you were smiling now because that's what he loved most about you. It was the way your face would light up when you were happy and laughing."

"How'd you know that?"

"I know a lot of things."

"Really such as?"

"I know where your birthmark is."

She blushed red and he laughed at her reaction she couldn't help it in the least.

"You know if I had been a good little Catholic girl you'd never have known about that birthmark."

"What do you mean?"

"Catholics don't practice sex before marriage. Or at least they're not suppose to. I had to make a lot of confessions after dating you."

Now he looked bemused but she just smiled and stood up.

"Shall we head over to see Albus then?"

He nodded and they disappeared from the room up to the village of Hogsmeade. Lily looked around as she appeared worried that someone from the village would recognise her and come over to speak to her, after all Larry's death must be known by now since the wedding hadn't taken place.

She turned to look at James but his eyes were further ahead staring at someone. He had moved away from her quicker than she had thought possible and he had the person pinned by the neck against a wall. Running quickly she saw that it was Snape he held there.

"Tell your master that I'll be doing this to him soon enough."

He punched Snape in the stomach and he curled up slightly as his fist came to the mans face.

"James no let him go!"

He did reluctantly and stepped back to her side.

"Looks like Lily saves you again then."

The man looked at him and then his eyes travelled up Lily.

"Thought you'd left this one behind. But then you never had much taste did you? Matthews wasn't much better."

She saw James' fist go backwards but her knee connected with the mans crotch before James' fist came near.

"At least somebody loved me; I bet no one has ever loved you. Well except your mother."

"Bet she didn't even love him either. Come on Lils lets get going."

She was a little surprised when James took her hand but allowed him to lead her away from their old school peer.

"What did you mean his master?"

"Snape's a Death Eater. Has been for a long time."

She nodded but said nothing else as they walked up to the gates. It was silent with nobody around and the gates were locked tight. She watched as James waved his wand and a silver owl flew from it, she remembered that owl it was the one he had always used when he wanted her to come down from her dorm room at night to see him.

She chanced a glance and found him looking at her.

"You remember Squeak then."

"I can't believe you named your Patronus and Squeak of all things."

"Hey she's an owl and owls squeak. It's better than what Sirius called his."

"Should I even ask?"

"Best if you don't."

It wasn't long before they saw Hagrid making his way down to them. He smiled when he saw James and as his eyes looked upon her she saw sorrow take over.

"Lily I'm sorry to 'ear abou' Larry good man ee was."

"Thanks Hagrid."

He nodded and she along with James walked slowly up to the school. A small smile found its way to her lips as she looked up at the building.

"Just like old times isn't it?"

Nodding she looked over towards the lake spotting the squid laid out on the surface. The old tree where she had spent many an afternoon with a book, the Quidditch stands where she had stood and cheered on their team and then the main doors that had always stood as a means of protection to her.

They walked inside and her heart was light, the Great Hall was to one side and she wanted to run in there and sit at the table again. She wanted to be surrounded by all those people that had once been her friends just one more time. Turning she saw the marble staircase and a laugh fell from her lips as she turned sideways towards James.

"Do you remember in our sixth year, right at the start when you were asking me out every day and I –"

"And you pushed me down the marble stairs. Yeah how could I forget I've still got the scar behind my ear where I hit my head."

"Sorry about that."

"Got me out of old Slugs potion lesson."

They walked on through the corridors they had once walked everyday until they came to the gargoyle statue that guarded the entrance to Albus Dumbledore's office. James surprised Lily yet again with the words 'liquorish quills' and the gargoyle moved aside for them to enter.

She didn't knock but walked straight in to find Albus sitting at his desk his fingers steepled in front of his face waiting for her.

"So Lily you want to join my Order."

"Yes sir, but how did you know?"

"James has a tendency to talk a lot with people he trusts."

The old man inclined his head towards a seat and she took it watching as James moved over to Fawkes and gently stroked the red feathers.

"Lily I wanted to ask you to join before but Larry wouldn't allow it. He didn't want you to endanger yourself more than you have to."

"It wasn't his choice to make."

He nodded gently at her as he moved to sit back in his chair.

"That is so and I told him that many times. I told him that you are a woman who knows her mind who wouldn't want to sit back but he refused it and I didn't wish to go against him."

"You don't need to worry about that now. What I mean is you aren't asking me to join I'm telling you that I am."

The old man nodded and pulled a piece of parchment from his desk and handed it over. She looked at it and nodded taking in the words.

"The next meeting will be in two weeks; James will bring you to make sure you don't get lost."

"Thank you sir."

"Yes that is alright and what have I told you it's Albus."

She smiled at him and he smiled straight back.


	20. Twenty

Chapter 20

Five days had passed since Larry's murder and Lily needed to face people again she had hidden away for too long. Lyn had come round to her parents on the Sunday and they sat together long into the night talking.

Remus had also been round to see her bringing Sirius and Pete with him; the other two boys though had joined James in the kitchen. Lily though hadn't seen Larry's parents she couldn't bring herself to go round and she guessed they didn't want to see her. An owl did arrive on the Monday though telling her that the funeral had already been organised by them and was to take place on the Wednesday.

What Lily didn't know though was how much publicity that this had drawn in the wizarding world. James had removed her straight after it had happened and no Daily Prophets had found their way into her parent's kitchen. She had no idea that the photos that had been taken only the day before were in circulation for the world to see.

The morning of the funeral though Lily sat in the kitchen looking out the window. Her parents were both in work and James was in the shower getting ready. She couldn't believe that he hadn't left her side since it had happened. Maybe they thought that Voldemort was going to strike her at any moment but she doubted that, something told her he was staying with her so that she would have company during this time.

She looked at her reflection again running her hands through her long hair; damn it was too light it gave colour where she wanted only darkness. Her dress was a simple summers dress and she had a cloak to go around it, to give her a more witching look.

"You ready then Lils?"

She nodded standing up noticing that James looked very much the way he had in school in his black trousers, black shoes and white shirt. The only thing missing was his Gryffindor tie. He gently looped her arm into his and the pair disappeared from the house.

They arrived instantly in front of an old church, there were large groups of people stood around outside and she saw flashes go off straight away. James pulled her through the crowds though and into the church away from that.

Inside it was just as bright there were flowers placed everywhere and people were already sitting in the church. She however remained at the back with James she wanted the coffin to go before her, she was there as the woman who loved the man.

From the pews a head of blue popped up and Lily watched as her best friend came running up the aisle towards her.

"Lily give me a hug."

Lily's arms found their way around the girl and she rested her head gently on her friend's hair.

"I'll just go take a seat."

Lily nodded at James and watched as he headed over to where Remus was sitting with Sirius, Pete and some other men that she couldn't name.

"How you coping?"

"Pretty well all considering. James is keeping me company."

"I noticed. Is he still staying at your parents?"

She nodded and looked around a little she could hear movement from outside.

"I think they've arrived. I'm going to go look."

Lyn nodded and went back to her seat while Lily stepped back out into the sunlight. The first thing she saw was the coffin wrapped in a banner with the Arrows logo on it. The light blue making her eyes shine as the memory of her first meeting with Larry came to mind.

Then from behind she spotted Megan in her black dress next to her parents Victor and Roberta. Lily slowly made her way over and let her hand rest on the coffin as she looked up at them. Coldness sat in Roberta's eyes as she looked at her.

"What are you doing here?"

Lily's head shot up and she looked at the woman that so nearly became her mother-in-law.

"I'm here to say goodbye to Larry, what's wrong?"

"I don't want you here."

"But I loved him he was my fiancé."

"And you left him to die, you shouldn't be here."

"Mum she has a right. That's why I wrote her a letter to let her know about it."

"You did what Megan?"

"Roberta now isn't the time. Lily can follow us in after the coffin. She's right she should be here. Larry loved her as much as he loved us."

Victor looked pained as he said it but the flashes were still going off around them and a young witch a year older that Lily was stood near by with a quick quill listening to everything being said.

The coffin was taken into the church and Lily followed behind with Megan. Neither girl looked at each other nor was anything said as they followed Mr and Mrs Matthews into the pew. The priest stood at the front of the church over the coffin and Lily watched him.

"My friends I wish we could be here today under happier circumstances but we are here to say goodbye to our brother Lawrence Samuel Matthews. I met Larry as he liked to be called on a number of occasions while he organised his wedding. I found him to be a breath of fresh air, there was a kindness that shone in him which is needed these days."

"He was taken suddenly from us all in a callous act long before he should have been. But he has not left completely he is still here in all of you. He touched the lives of so many in his professional life that he will be remembered as a legend but it is in the lives of those that he loved that he will forever remain."

"Since I am sure you all new Larry better than I did we will be listening to a few speakers today telling of their memories of the man."

Lily looked around was she suppose to stand up and talk about Larry but she saw Gideon stepping forward and make his way over to the coffin. He looked down on it for a moment and then at everyone standing there.

"I'm not very good at these things I normally leave them to my brother. I've known Larry since I was eleven and Merlin that's eleven years where does the time go? I wasn't best friends with him in school we hardly knew each other; he was the loyal Hufflepuff and I the brave Gryffindor. But you know what Larry was as brave as any Gryffindor, as smart as any Ravenclaw, ambitious like the Slytherins and as loyal as they could come even in his house."

Gideon laughed slightly looking at them all.

"I guess I first really got to know Larry on the Quidditch pitch, I was the beater for the Gryffindors until that incident in fifth year that we never talk about and Larry was the Hufflepuffs star chaser. We were in lessons together and he got made prefect with Fabian and they got close bringing Larry deeper into my world. Then we left and ended up together on the Arrows and he was one of the best. He was always happy to give an autograph to a fan, always up for practice and happiest when he was in the air."

"Well that is up until last year. This year was life changing for him I've never seen him happier than I did with Lily its clear to see that he was made to love her and nobody else. I knew Larry as well as I know myself or even Fabian and I know that no matter what has happened he'd be happy for the time that he had. He'd be happy for those that he loved and the thing that he'd most want is for us not to live life in fear but to live whatever time we have left to the fullest."

Lily was smiling sadly watching the man standing there as he turned to the coffin and looked back at everyone.

"Larry was one of our clubs greatest and he won't be forgotten. He was very passionate about the children that lost their families during this war so we're staring the Lawrence Matthews fund. At every match we play we're going to raise money and whatever is made we will donate to the orphanages that are now dealing with so many lost children, and its all for this incredible man. Rest easy mate and I'll be seeing you again, hopefully not too soon though."

He walked away from the stand and Lily felt more than saw Megan stand and stood with her allowing Roberta to move out into the crowd along with Victor. They both stopped at the alter and looked at the coffin and Roberta moved forward.

"The worse thing for a mother is to out live her son and the sad fact is so many of us are doing it now but that doesn't make it any easier. Lawrence was my little boy and my world he was one of the most caring souls that I've ever met."

She was sniffing now and looking around like a rabbit in the headlights.

"I wish that I could have taken his place. It wasn't his time he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong person."

Lily saw the look that was shot her way but she didn't move she just looked at the coffin in front of her.

"My son is gone but his memory will live on as long as you all remember him as we do. I don't think we could ever have had a better son …"

Roberta's voice was lost as she began to cry and Victor wrapped his arms around her gently in a way that reminded her so much of Larry that it hurt.

"We were lucky to get twenty-two wonderful years with our son and he lived each day to the fullest. He never put anything off if he could do it today and that's the way he chose to live. He will always be remembered with fondness and love and his death must not be forgotten nor the deaths of so many others."

He was shaking his head and pulled Roberta out of the way back down to the pew. Lily stepped aside to let them in and Megan stepped out with her taking her hand in hers gently squeezing it before walking up to the coffin herself.

"The world only saw one side of my brother the mad Quidditch player. They only ever saw the handsome side of him, the side he wanted the public to see but there was a hidden side that was only shown to those that knew him best."

A small smile was playing on her lips Lily could see it. She couldn't help but wonder what secrets would be passed onto the public today.

"He had a sense of humour that was well let's face it terrible. Think of the worse joke you know, I bet that Larry was the one that told you it. But he had a knack of making people laugh anyway; he was at his happiest when people around him were happy and laughing."

"Another side of my brother that you probably wouldn't know was his jealous side. I don't know how many times I had to put up hearing about some bloke that had smiled at Lily and how he was sure that Gideon was going to try and make a move on her. Yet he knew as well that he was in a business that could create jealously and was scared of doing that."

"Then there was his sensitive side that shone through like anything. He was very good at making people think that he was tough but he needed people to love him. He relied on us, his friends and family to keep him strong."

"I think the thing that is most surprising about my brother though was his love for writing especially poetry. People saw Larry as a Quidditch star and not someone who could read, but our grandfather loved poetry and he use to write it himself. Although I never really understood it or enjoyed it Larry could spend hours reading it. So I think its only fitting for me to read you his favourite poem."

Lily watched as the girl walked to the stand and looked down at it. Lily knew there was a book there that was waiting for her to read.

"_Rex regum, prince, easy of eulogy,_

_I ask my highest Lord this bounty:_

_King ruling the region,_

_The high Wheel of Heaven,_

_Make reconciliation_

_Between you and me._

_That I've offended you, mind's sorely_

_Troubled, feckless and sorry._

_In the sight of the Lord God_

_Sin I've committed_

_And left unattended_

_All godly duty."_

Megan closed the book and walked over to the priest before heading back down towards the pews. Lily stood up to let her passed and her mouth came to Lily's ear.

"Go up and say something, anything and don't worry about mum."

So with uneasy legs Lily began to make her way up to the front getting closer and closer to the coffin as she went. As she reached it she closed her eyes and placed her hand gently on top of it. Turning she looked out on the people that were gathered and shook her head slightly looking back at the coffin.

"Fate plays a wicked hand. I remember a friend in school saying that when one of my friends was killed and this is just another reminder. We weren't suppose to be here like this we were suppose to be on our honeymoon now, enjoying ourselves starting out our life and yet it was ripped from us too suddenly."

"Some people think that we were rushing things but I knew Larry better than I ever thought it was possible to know a man. I could tell what he was thinking just by looking in his eyes, there was always love in them for everyone he came into contact with."

"My world stopped on Friday night and all I can think of is why am I alive? Why should I be allowed to live? I don't know the answer to that and I doubt I ever will. All I know is that wherever I go from now on Larry will go with me because he's a part of me and will be forever. Someone once said you can't choose who you fall in love with but I'm glad that in my case it was Larry."

Lily sat back in the pew next to Megan and watched as his team mates lifted the coffin once more and carried it out to the burial site. Lily remained seated as the church emptied unable to make herself go out there to the grounds and watch.

She didn't know how long she sat in there but it was a while before anybody came to find her, and as she followed James out of the church and took his hand in hers she didn't know that fate wasn't done playing with her yet.

* * *

The poem in this is called **On his Death-bed** and was written _fl.1100-37_ by a man (well I'm guessing it's a man) named **Meilyr** and the poem is taken from a book called _fourteen centuries of poetry Welsh Verse _and has been translated by _Tony Conran_

Oh and another thing I have exams starting this week, so I'm not sure when my next post will be.


	21. Twenty One

Chapter 21

_Yesterday saw the funeral of Quidditch star Lawrence Matthews who was killed Friday night by You-Know-Who. His funeral as was expected was attended by many of the sports top players in their bids to say goodbye to the fallen star._

_The funeral itself was simple with words being spoken by Matthews parents Roberta and Victor, sister Megan, fiancée Lily Evans and team mate Gideon Prewett. The speeches were simple and eloquent and fitting the image of the player. But I can now exclusively report that things behind the scenes weren't as fitting._

_The fiancée of the star who was due to marry him the day after his death arrived on the arm of another man and not just any man either but that of a young Auror James Potter. Potter and Evans were old school peers and have known to have dated in the past. When Ryan and Michelle Potter were killed four years back so was the pairs romance or was it really?_

_This reporter believes that Potter is more than the grieving woman's friend but a secret lover. These pictures show the pair on several occasions out and about together including one taken on Sunday in Hogsmeade where it can clearly be seen that they are holding hands._

_As for the family of Matthews they too seem to have their doubts about the woman their son had chosen to marry. Before the coffin entered the church Roberta was ordering the woman to leave claiming she had no right to be there. Why is this then? Could it be that Roberta discovered the truth about the affair as I myself did?_

_The burial of the star too showed a lack of respect from the fiancée who did not even attend it. While his friends and family were saying their last goodbyes she was absent as was Potter so what were the pair up to at this point? I shall leave that to you to decide._

_Rita Skeeter_

Lily slammed the paper downonto the table causing her mother to jump slightly. She couldn't believe what that creature had written in there. Yes she and James had a past but that was all it was a past. He'd been there helping her through a tough time because Albus had made him.

The pictures well they were something else. Yes so she was holding his hand but he was dragging her away from Snape. And the photo of them hugging, she'd hugged so many men over the last few days did that mean she was sleeping with them too?

Surprisingly the thing that upset her the most was the use of the pictures of her and Larry before their wedding that had been taken for the Quidditch Monthly magazine. She hadn't been told that they were releasing the pictures to the paper and she didn't want to see them, they were a memory of what should have been but didn't.

"Lily are you okay?"

"Filthy little tart with all her lies"

"What? Lily?"

"Nothing mum don't worry I'm fine."

She picked up her spoon and lowered it into the cornflakes taking a bite as she turned the page and read an article about the numbers of people now fearing their safety in their everyday life. If a Quidditch star was murdered why not them?

"Oh this is utter rubbish, they're scare mongering."

"What's that Lily?"

"Nothing mum, I'm just going to go to work."

She stood up looking down at herself she would do and disappearing left the house. She looked around the atrium and followed a crowd of people into the lift. They were all staring at her as if she had three heads or something then she heard a voice.

"Lily what are you doing here?"

"Oh hi Carly. I've decided to come back to work."

"You're on holidays this week though."

"Yeah but my honeymoon isn't going well and I just want to get back to normal."

She nodded and looked around at everyone staring.

"What?"

"Don't worry about them Lily they're all just nosey berks. I mean just because the prophet has been doing a hate campaign on you."

"A what?"

"He hasn't been showing you the articles as he?"

"He's actually been getting them. I'll kill him."

"Oh don't. Maybe he was trying to protect you. Remus did say he's been really annoyed by it all."

"He's annoyed what the hell have they been saying about me?"

"Maybe I shouldn't be the one –"

The lifts had opened on their floor and Lily dashed out and headed into the main offices. She found James stood with Fabian and Frank Longbottom seemingly lost in conversation. She didn't care though and ignoring the looks she stormed over to him and grabbed his robe from behind causing him to turn.

"What haven't you told me?"

"Oh that I used the last of your shampoo. But I got some more. I was going to bring it round later."

"Don't be funny Potter what haven't you told me?"

"Potter? Lily is everything alright?"

"I'm having an affair with you! They have pictures of you holding my hand! What haven't you told me?"

His face went from a joking look to deadly serious as he looked around the room.

"I don't think now is the time."

"Well what a pity because I do!"

"Okay fine they've reported that I've been staying with you since the murder –"

"But you have because Albus said you had to."

"Yes but they left that bit out. They've printed photos of umm well me asleep in your bed –"

"How the hell did they get those?"

"I don't know. But they're making it out that something happened between us. Not that I was sleeping there because your floor was uncomfortable."

She could see there was something else and gave him a look that made Frank and Fabian both cringe.

"You're hiding something aren't you?"

Everyone in the offices had become extremely silent and James was looking at the floor. He mumbled something and Lily looked around, his eyes came to hers and he shook his head picking up a paper from Saturday and threw it into her hands. Her eyes widened as she read it.

_Quidditch star killed while fiancée kisses another man._

_Today we can reveal that Lawrence Matthews the chaser for the Appleby Arrows was murdered late last night. For unknown reasons he was captured by You-Know-Who and held hostage in the flat of his fiancée Lily Evans._

_However while this was going on Evans was in work at the Auror offices in the ministry along with old flame James Potter. The two had been left alone barely five minutes before they could be found kissing, as you can see from the picture below. Would they have gone further than that? I am sure they would have if it wasn't for a colleague entering the room at that time._

_The question now is how long has the affair between Evans and Potter been going on. I am sure that it has been happening for a while and that she has been playing with Matthews' heart._

_As for what will happen now well it would be guessed that Evans' will play the true grieving fiancée and yet no. When she discovered the body of the Quidditch star she flung herself once more into the arms of Potter probably with joy that they could now be together since he was out of the picture._

Lily looked at the picture it was there in black and white for everyone to see her lips pressed against James' and before she had pulled away. No wonder Roberta hadn't wanted her at the funeral she thought that she was going to brake Larry's heart.

"You can't be serious, I wasn't cheating on Larry. I can't believe they wrote this, who did write it?"

She looked down and saw the name Rita Skeeter and felt her blood boil. James though was looking over her shoulder and then stepped forward.

"Lily everyone knows that you weren't cheating on Larry. I think the more pressing question is how they got a reporter in here and we didn't notice."

"Well let's see why wouldn't we have seen? Oh maybe it was because you were too busy trying to break me and Larry up while I was too busy trying to convince you that I was going to marry him."

"No Lily this is important. When you left there wasn't a reporter here, there wasn't even one here when Stuart came in so how did they get that photo."

"I don't care James. I have to go see Roberta and sort this mess out!"

"Lily precious I wouldn't bother she's still mourning. Come with Uncle Eddie and we'll have a nice cup of tea and work out the rotas for you to start back."

With a last look at James she followed Eddie into the Healer section and sat down to listen to what she had missed.


	22. Twenty Two

Chapter 22

"Come on it's a good photo of you."

"Lyn it's a picture of me kissing James."

"Yeah but still its pretty good."

Lily swotted at her friend as she picked up the glass of lemonade. They were sat at Ryan's kitchen table catching up on their eight weeks apart. Lily couldn't believe that it had really been eight nearly nine weeks since that night. She hadn't been back to the flat since it had happened.

Lyn had moved in with Ryan permanently and was happy to show off an engagement ring that he had just gotten her. It seemed Larry's death had set in motion a fear that life was going to end at any minute and people were taking risks.

As for Lily she had moved back home to her parents house for the time being. She was looking to get another flat but for the time being she really didn't need one. The gossip about her in the papers had finally died down and people in work stopped staring at her and James.

"Lyn it's not funny. I mean he was trying to get me to leave Larry the night before our wedding."

"And he thought a kiss would do it?"

"Well it was a good kiss."

"Oh my Merlin you fancy him."

"I don't he's just my friend."

"You weren't friends before the kiss."

"He's been really supportive."

"If I remember correctly he was really supportive when Nikki died and that's what got him into your bed back then."

"Do you have to put it like that?"

"Well it did."

"You make it sound like it was only sex."

"You got more than sex out of him; well you are a lucky girl."

"Yeah really funny Lyn. With James it was special it was like what I had with Larry only…"

"Only new and exciting because you'd never had it before."

"Yeah."

"He still loves you though you know that right?"

"Of course I know. He's told me loads of times."

"And you?"

"And I'm getting over the death of my fiancé and have bigger things to worry about."

"Lily what do you mean bigger things?"

Lyn looked really worried and Lily pulled a face at her.

"I think that I might be pregnant."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I've missed two periods."

"Haven't you done a test then?"

"No I mean I could be wrong. I mean I wasn't due until after the wedding and with everything that's happen I'm probably just out of sync."

"Lily but you could be pregnant."

Lyn had sat up straight and looked around the kitchen, she quickly found a cauldron and started rummaging through their potion supplies, which she had to face weren't much.

"Lily you know how to make the potion don't you?"

"Of course"

Lily quickly threw in the ingredients and the pair watched as it cooled, then pouring it into a beaker Lily went and found a knife. Very gently she cut the tip of her thumb and watched as the blood landed in the solution.

The colour change was almost instant and the pair shared a look, Lily's eyes were wide and Lyn had paled.

"I'm having a baby."

"Yeah Larry got you pregnant before he snuffed it."

"Oh Merlin everyone's going to think its James'!"

"No they're not Lil anybody that knows you will know the truth and as for the rest well stuff them all."

"But Lyn I don't want people to think I would do that to Larry and they are going to question the baby and it hasn't done anything."

"That is if you keep it."

Lily's head snapped so fast at her friend that it clicked and she squealed and she rubbed at her neck.

"What do you mean if I keep it of course I'm keeping it!"

"Lils I love you okay you're like the sister I always wanted that mum and dad wouldn't give me, but you really need to think this through you'll be a single mother."

"Lyn this is Larry's child, this is why I was saved it must be so that part of him can live on, I can't kill it."

"Yes that's a good point but you're going to be a single mother and you'll need a lot of support and I'm not sure if you can physically cope with it right now."

"I can cope with this and I will cope with it Lyn decision made."

"But –"

"But nothing look I know that you're looking out for me but I can't get rid of the baby it's the only thing I've got left of Larry's it's the connection to him I thought I'd lost."

Lyn nodded slowly and looked out of the window.

"Lyn you're not going to leave me now are you, because I'm going to need you now, really need you."

"Of course I'm going to support you, but Lily promise me this you'll think about what having this baby means before you decide that you're going to keep it."

Lily nodded gently at her friend knowing a hundred percent that she was keeping this baby and there was nothing anybody could say to make her change her mind.


	23. Twenty Three

Chapter 23

Lily sat on her bed flicking through the latest edition of the Quibbler. It wasn't that good a magazine it was all about stupid make believe things but it was a source of light entertainment in this darkening time. Lily especially enjoyed reading the article on the fact that Larry had faked his own death to get out of playing Quidditch and the speculation that she would soon be faking her own death to join him in the muggle world. It was much better than the stories of her and James.

Her mind though wasn't completely on the magazine as she thought about the discovery from the day before, she couldn't believe that inside her was the last bit of Larry. She couldn't help but smile at that. It made her feel better as if she was complete.

Although she was a hundred percent sure that she was going to keep it she had been thinking things over. She knew that there was a danger to this child because of the situation of the world. Would Voldemort come after the child to get to her?

Then there was the fact that like in the muggle world being a single parent was frowned upon. It wasn't considered the right thing. Women should be married with a husband before they had children; well she had been well almost.

There was also her job to consider. She would have to quit it but then she would be stuck with no income. She supposed that they would pay her maternity leave and she could use that to start off with and then she'd have to find some kind of care to watch the child. Maybe she could get Libby to watch it after all she had given up work to look after Kim.

There was a lot to think about and the thing that kept playing on her mind was would Roberta and Victor believe that the child was really Larry's? Or would they claim it was James' because as far as they were concerned she had been sleeping with both men. Megan would believe her she was sure, she had known that Lily wasn't playing with Larry.

The knock on the door caused her to jump slightly and she saw her fathers head peep around the door.

"Hunny would you like anything to eat?"

"No thanks dad."

She saw him look at the wall and step into the room closing the door behind him. Slowly he walked towards the bed.

"I've actually been meaning to talk to you."

"Okay."

"You know its good having you back home. Your mother will never admit it but there's been something missing these last three years and that was you."

"Dad."

She wrapped her arms around him and saw more that felt the tears leave her eyes. When they pulled back he was looking at her closely.

"There's no need to cry darling."

"I can't help it I'm just so emotional still."

"I thought you were starting to get over Larry not being here."

"I am but its so much, too much really."

"Is there something you want to talk to me about?"

She shook her head but her fathers eyes were still on her, so she nodded slowly.

"But you've got to promise to keep this a secret even from mum."

"Okay darling."

"Pinkie promise."

Her dad smiled as he wrapped his smallest finger around hers and nodded his green eyes so very much like hers full of happiness.

"I'm pregnant."

His face suddenly turned sour as he pulled away from her.

"Daddy?"

"But you're not married."

Her eyes went dull and she blinked slowly remembering her Catholic upbringing. No sex before marriage it was a big rule that a lot of the young people had broken. Her gaze went back to his though.

"I know that, and I know what the bible teaches as well. Look I didn't plan for this to happen but I think it's a miracle a sign from God. Daddy I've lost Larry and this child is part of him, it's why I didn't die. God sent James to save me because he didn't want the baby to be killed, and with this baby I know that I haven't completely lost Larry there's still part of him here."

"I'm not going to lie and say that I'm happy because I'm not. Sex before marriage is a big sin Lily and shouldn't be done."

"But –"

"Don't interrupt young lady. However you are an adult and were in love and getting married to the man so it's not the worse thing in the world."

"Thank you daddy."

"But I hope that you did remember your upbringing. Just because you were away from our world for so long doesn't mean that God wasn't watching you and I hope that you didn't go around sleeping with everyone."

Lily knew what her father was hinting at; he wanted to hear that she was the good little Catholic girl she was suppose to have been. He wanted her to say that Larry was the only man she had ever been with. Crossing her fingers behind her back she smiled up gently at him.

"There has only ever been Larry daddy."

He nodded and smiled gently before turning towards her door. He stopped just as he reached it and turned to her.

"Oh and there's a young lady downstairs waiting to see you."

She frowned as she flung her legs to the floor she wasn't expecting anybody, well except James. He was coming to take her to the meeting that night but that was hours away. She followed her father down the stairs and into the kitchen were Petunia was going through some bags that she had with her mother.

"I don't know if I should wear the red one or the black one. I mean it's a big party with Vernon's boss and I don't want to let him down."

"You'll look great in either one darling."

"I like the black one its sophisticated and you can never go wrong in a black dress."

"Who're you?"

Lily smiled gently as the blonde woman put her hand forward towards Petunia a smile on her face.

"Alice, Alice Longbottom."

Petunia was looking at her and then back to her mother. Lily laughed gently causing Alice to turn to look at her.

"I wasn't expecting you Alice."

"Well James thought it might be best if he isn't seen to be visiting you at home for a while."

She laughed and saw her family looking bewildered and her mother spoke up slowly.

"James isn't going to be coming around anymore? But he's such a nice boy."

Alice nodded and looked back at Lily and her eyes were travelling her body.

"Aren't you going to put any shoes on then?"

"Oh are we going now then?"

"Yeah got a job to do first and then we're going to go see Albus."

Lily nodded and ran upstairs and pulled through her clothes. She was in a pair of shorts and a tight t-shirt and she didn't think that would be suitable. She found a pair of black trousers and pulled them on and a white t-shirt before pulling her boots onto her feet.

When she re-entered the kitchen she found her father talking to Alice. Walking up slowly she could hear what was being said.

"- yeah the paper has printed a lot about Lily and James and people even think they've been having an affair. All rubbish though Lily was madly in love with Larry she would never have done anything to hurt him."

"So that's why he won't be over."

"I'm ready then Alice, shall we go?"

"Oh sure. We've got to stop off at Leeds."

"Same place as normal?"

"Yeah."

Lily nodded and kissed her fathers cheek and stepping back looked closely at him.

"Remember pinkie promise."

"Pinkie promise I know. Stay safe now."

She nodded and as she was about to leave her mother's voice sounded.

"Will you be back for supper?"

"No Mrs Evans. Lily will be joining me and the girls for supper."

She nodded and Lily saw Alice vanish and followed suit quickly. When things took focus again she found Alice a little way off and ran over to her.

"So where we going?"

"To get some information. Albus actually said I should get you tonight, he thinks it'll be good for you to see what you're letting yourself in for."

They walked on in silence for a while and Lily could feel Alice's gaze every few minutes. She didn't know the woman that well, she was three years older than her for her a start. But she had seen her in the Auror offices a number of times and Lily had spoken to her husband Frank on many occasions.

"Ask."

"Pardon?"

"Alice I can tell you want to ask me something. So what is it?"

"Were you scared?"

"When?"

"When you saw Voldemort?"

"A little but it wasn't the main thing that was going through me, I was panicking. I thought that it was the end. That I was going to die. I mean nobody else has escaped Voldemort before."

"Yeah that's how I felt."

"Wait you've seen him too!"

Lily spun to look at the older woman and she nodded slowly.

"Yeah I kept thinking that it was the end. That I wasn't going to get out nobody ever lives when he decides he wants them dead and yet I did."

"How?"

"Believe it or not Frank. I had been due home an hour earlier and Voldemort had captured me and was having some fun taunting me and trying to get information out of me. I'm sure he would have killed me soon enough. Well Frank came looking for me, he managed to make quite a bit of noise and Voldemort went to investigate. Then Frank was next to me untying me and I remember Voldemort came back and I thought that I was dead and his eyes were blazing and then there was a pull at my stomach."

"Port Key?"

"Yeah straight up to Hogwarts and Albus. Apparently that was the first time anybody had ever gotten away. But we had to keep it hushed up because well it wasn't official business."

"So that means that you, Frank, Moody, me and James are the only ones to ever get away."

Alice nodded and grabbed Lily's arm stopping her in her tracks.

"Shh look."

Lily followed Alice's gaze and saw what she was looking at. Across the way was a woman who looked in her early thirties with dark hair that wasn't straight or curly but something in between. Her skin was extremely pale and she looked out of place in the street.

Her head snapped in their direction before looking behind her. She stopped dead and opened her arms and Lily watched as somebody stepped into them hugging her tightly. Alice's arm had grabbed her and she was flat against the stone wall her chest was tight as she tried not to move.

It was a little while before Alice moved a little away from the wall. Then she looked at Lily and smiled.

"Coasts clear come on lets get over there."

Lily followed Alice across the road and watched as she went down to the ground and moved some litter out of the way. She then picked up a small blue bottle and smiled up at Lily.

"Got it, come on lets get going."

"What's that?"

"I'll explain when we get there."

Lily didn't question anymore. She just nodded at Alice and took the arm that was offered to her.

"I want you to think of a forest, do you understand?"

Lily nodded into the darkening air and closed her eyes tight as she felt her surrounds leave and wondered where she would be going.


	24. Twenty Four

I would like to dedicate this chapter to Carly aka Floss who came up with the wonderful Patronus' for me to use. Really couldn't have written this chapter without you mate. Oh and this is the chapter where I really put you to shame for all the post ;P Just kidding. Thanks a bunch hun.

Chapter 24

"You can open your eyes now Lily."

She did and looked around; they were in the middle of a forest. A shiver went up her body but Alice just smiled.

"Don't worry nothing will attack us, we're just a little way into the forbidden forest."

Lily looked around stepping slightly closer to Alice as they made their way through towards a path.

"So what was it you wanted to know Lily?"

"Oh yeah what was that thing you picked up?"

"A memory."

"What? But how is that a memory?"

"Have you ever heard of a pensive?"

"Of course. It's a bowl that allows a person to re-see their thoughts."

"Yeah it also allows you to see another's thoughts. We use it to get information because that way you can get a clearer picture, the person themselves may have forgotten something."

Lily nodded slowly getting happier as the tree lines were thinning.

"Who was the woman?"

"Oh that was Dorcas Meadowes. She's well, she's an informant for Albus and that's all you need to know for now."

"So she's like a spy?"

Alice nodded slowly as they reached the path. She waved her wand and Lily watched as her patronus shot out, she was a little surprised by its shape of a bat but remained silent.

"You look surprised by Boris."

"Boris?"

"Boris the bat. That's what I call my patronus."

"You haven't been speaking to James have you?"

"Oh you mean with his Squeak I think that's a sweet name for his patronus. Better than Sirius' I mean who calls theirs Junior?"

"Yeah I mean I don't get that either. His is a big dog, how is that Junior?"

"You know Sirius. What do you call yours then?"

"My Patronus."

"That's what you call it?"

"Yeah, I mean what else would I call it?"

"What is yours?"

"It's like a deer, oh well I suppose you'd say it was a stag."

"Umm let me think about it, I'll find the perfect name for it. Oh look here comes Ernie."

Lily looked up to see a patronus heading towards them, it was shaped like a phoenix and she had to ask.

"Why Ernie?"

"Short for Eternal, what can I say Albus doesn't like calling it Eternal so he's shortened it."

Lily just shook her head as Alice watched it carefully. It circled around them three times and she smiled at Lily.

"You got a watch?"

"Yeah why?"

"What time is it?"

"Seven."

"Okay we have to wait thirty minutes then we'll head up."

Lily nodded and sat on a large stone watching Alice pick up a loose twig. She twirled it lightly in her hands looking up at the castle.

"I love coming here."

"I know and me."

"Its strange though isn't it? I mean we use to live here and now we're lucky to visit it."

"I know. What house were you in?"

"Ravenclaw, what can I say I had brains."

Lily laughed as Alice sat down opposite her. They were silent for a moment and Alice spoke up.

"Stevie!"

"What?"

"Stevie the stag."

"I am not calling my patronus Stevie; I'm more likely to call it Bambi."

"Who's Bambi?"

"It's a muggle movie about a deer and the deer was called Bambi."

"So Bambi the stag it is."

"I'm not calling it Bambi."

"Then why'd you say that?"

Lily just shook her head as she looked at her watch. Quarter of an hour had already passed it wouldn't be much longer.

"So where are we going then exactly?"

"A special room. Its where Albus holds all the meetings since Hogwarts is a safe place. It's just getting in that's hard because we don't want to draw attention so we have to come in you know undercover without people seeing."

"So how will we get in?"

"We're going to walk straight in. Since I knew I was bringing you I sent Albus an owl at breakfast and he's informed Orge that we're going to be visiting him tonight, the others well Merlin only knows."

Lily nodded and stood up slowly.

"It's been thirty minutes."

"Okay let's go."

They walked up slowly towards the main doors and as Alice reached up to open it she stopped and looked at Lily."

"Saphine the Stag."

Lily looked at the girl closely and smiled at her nodding.

"I like that, Saphine. There you go you've managed to name my patronus."

Alice smiled as they walked into the Entrance Hall. Lily had no idea where they were heading and so just followed Alice through tapestries up stairs through walls that weren't solid until they reached the seventh floor. Lily stopped just opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy being clubbed by trolls.

"Okay Lily what I need you to do is walk back and fore past this wall three times and I need you to think Order of the Phoenix okay."

Lily nodded and did as she was told aware that Alice was right next to her as they did it. Both women stopped and Lily's eyes widened as a door appeared where once there had only been wall. Alice had opened the door before Lily could react and pulled her into the room.

There was a table with fourteen seats surrounding it. At the top seat of the table sat Albus himself his nose lost in parchment, he did however look up at them as they entered.

"Oh good I was about to send Ernie back to you to get you moving."

"Where's everyone else then?"

"Not everyone can make it tonight a lot of us are undercover and we don't want to blow it. I must admit I thought some of them would be here by now but oh well. Why don't you both take a seat."

Alice sat next to Albus on his right and Lily carefully lowered herself into the seat next to Alice. Albus was watching her carefully all the while.

"How are you this evening Lily?"

"Better."

He nodded as the door opened again and Lily's jaw dropped as she saw the red head that popped through before looking back out behind him. When he entered again he waved at her and she grinned as he blew a kiss.

"Why Miss Evans you do look beautiful tonight. If I had known you'd be here I'd have come all dressed up."

"Shut up Gid."

He just grinned as he nodded towards Albus and Alice taking the seat next to Lily and next to him sat his twin brother Fabian. He smiled at them all and started talking to Gideon, Lily though just looked in front wondering who else would be coming.

A clink announced the next arrival and Lily gasped along with the four young members as a man entered. It was clear that he had been through a great battle but he just grunted at them taking a seat next to Albus.

Lily couldn't believe that this was the same man she had seen only a few weeks before. Alastor Moody was almost unrecognisable with a wooden leg where once flesh had been and a large blue magical eye sticking out of his left socket.

With him came Frank who raised his eyebrows at them as he sat next to his boss exactly opposite Lily. A lot of noise came next and Lily wasn't surprised to see James, Sirius, Peter and Remus run into the room. They were pink in the cheeks and Peter was out of breath.

"You're Snivellus Pete."

"I'm always Snivellus you lot are faster than me."

"Oh never mind, at least you've got better hair."

Lily watched as Sirius put the man into a head lock as James rumpled his hair. Remus laughing jumped onto Sirius' back and pretended to hit him over the head with an invisible bat. Lily laughed so hard she thought her sides were going to split and they all turned to look at her.

"Evans?"

"Yeah Black."

The man let go of Peter and grabbed James into a headlock ruffling his hair.

"You didn't tell me she was coming Prongs."

"I was suppose to then?"

"Black let him go and take your seats already."

Moody didn't seem at all happy and Sirius quickly dropped into the seat next to Peter with James taking the one next to him. Remus grinned lightly at Lily from next to Frank and she just smiled.

It wasn't long before they were joined by the last of the people who were going to arrive. Edgar Bones had arrived with a woman named Marlene Mckinnon and then Hagrid walked in and nodded at Albus and they all looked up at the eldest wizard there.

"Okay thank you all for coming I'm glad to see so many of your faces. First can we all just take a moment to think of the latest of our numbers to fall Larry. He was a fantastic fighter and we've lost a good one in him."

Lily watched as they all bent their heads in respect but she couldn't, she wasn't able to at all. She just looked forward at the top of Franks head. She felt a hand take hers and squeezed it as Gideon's blue eyes connected with hers.

"Okay so the last time we all met was over a month ago and I know that we've all been keeping up with information but I felt now was the time for another formal meeting. I'd like to welcome Alastor back after his attack and I'm sure I'm not the only one glad to see his return. I would also like to introduce our newest member, Lily Evans."

She smiled as she looked around; she knew most of the people in the room anyway from work and school. The only new faces were that of Edgar Bones, who was a thirty four year old that worked in the Regulation of Magical Creatures, and Marlene Mckinnon who was a curse breaker in Gringotts.

"Okay so we'll start this by asking Lily to produce her patronus so that we can all know what it looks like for later."

She looked around the room and then with a small nod pulled her wand out. Carefully she waved it and saw her patronus emit from the tip. The silver form began to take shape and a beautiful adult stag stood in front of them all.

She turned to see the others watching and almost laughed at the look on Peter's face.

"Peter are you alright? You look like you've never seen a patronus before."

"It's Prongs."

She scrunched her forehead up a little but spotted the small hit that Sirius gave him before Alice spoke up.

"No its not. We've called it Saphine."

"Wait you actually got Lily to name it. Wow you're good."

"I know."

They all fell silent as Albus cleared his throat a small smile playing on his face.

"Yes that will do. Well Lily I believe you've already seen Ernie and Boris so the others will show you theirs now, let's go around the table please. Gideon if you'll start."

"Watch this now Lily mines impressive."

He waved his wand and she saw what looked like a monkey appear from it, but as the form became clearer she saw that it had smooth hairless skin and that its hands and feet were webbed while the arms and legs were long. Its mouth was fixed in what looked like a smile similar to Gideon's but with sharp teeth and on its forehead was a large pustule.

"Wow yours is a Clabbert."

"Yep Clarabelle the clabbert."

Lily laughed as it disappeared from sight and Gideon took his seat again.

"Oh he's just a show off, here's mine."

She nodded as Fabian's wand emitted another ape like creature, this one was bigger than Gideon's and had large doleful eyes hidden behind a large amount of hair.

"Fab is that a Demiguise?"

"Yep, perfect for my personality don't you think. Can turn themselves invisible and that's just what I do when I'm on the job."

She nodded and watched as Edgar Bones produced a squirrel and Marlene a small dog. Hagrid waved what looked like a pink umbrella and a spotted mongoose flew through the air. Then it came to James who looked at Lily.

"Do you want to see Squeak again?"

"I don't think it's necessary. I know what she looks like."

"Oy what about Junior?"

"Big shaggy dog, know it Black."

Sirius shrugged his shoulders as Peter looked up nervously at her.

"Okay so this is Karma"

She watched as a small lizard appeared from his wand, she saw the eyes rolling in its head and then its tongue shot out at a high speed and then it was gone. She nodded towards Peter as he sat down. She would never have believed that Peter's patronus would have been a chameleon.

"Okay me next and well this is chip."

Lily watched as Remus waved his wand and a gasp left her lips, a beautiful unicorn shape had emerged from it and was running gracefully around the room before fading away into nothingness.

Frank's eyes met hers and he winked gently.

"You ain't seen nothing yet trust me."

With a wave of his wand a Griffin appeared. She could see the legs of the lion and the head of the eagle with its massive wings. She was almost scared when it came and rested next to her but she saw that the whole time its eyes were on Alice and realised that just like Frank wanted to protect Alice so did his patronus.

"Now me lets hurry this along."

She watched as a Rhino appeared in the room but then as it neared her she realised her mistake which was so common with the muggles, this was an Erumpent very fitting the personality of Alastor Moody.

"Okay so now you've seen them all can we start business Albus?"

Lily watched as the old man folded his fingers and looked around the room.

"Yes of course and let me start with some terrible news…"


	25. Twenty Five

Chapter 25

"Okay so now you've seen them all can we start business Albus?"

Lily watched as the old man folded his fingers and looked around the room.

"Yes of course and let me start with some terrible news…"

They all looked at him and Lily caught a twinkle playing in his eye as he watched them

"We missed out on our party because of Larry's death and I know how much we were all looking forward to a good night out. So I have some good news to make that up. We shall be having a small get together in the Hogs Head in three weeks times to celebrate my brother's birthday, a hundred and twenty five who'd have thought it."

Lily was smiling again as she saw James and Sirius high five at the prospect.

"That isn't important business Albus!"

"No Alastor it is very important. We've all been working extremely hard the last few months and we need an excuse to kick back and relax. If you recall our excuse was going to be a wedding but a birthday will do."

They all fell silent at this point and she felt eyes on her. Lily however just smiled kindly.

"Okay I've had enough! Stop pussyfooting around me this instant okay. Larry is dead yes I'm upset but I'm alive and need to keep living. It's what Larry would want and you all know it. A party sounds good Albus, an excuse to let my hair down and wear a nice dress."

"Is it going to be that pretty little white number?"

"No it's not Sirius so shut up."

A few chuckles sounded and Lily was sure she heard Edgar asking Hagrid if she and Sirius were always like this. Then Albus was speaking again.

"Okay onto serious stuff now. I'm opening the floor anybody got anything they want to say?"

Lily looked around and was surprised when Peter stood up a grimace on his features.

"I've got bad news. I can confirm that Crispin Pepper is under the Imperius curse."

Lily looked around her. Nobody seemed shocked by the fact that their Minster was one of them, working for Voldemort.

"I expected as much Peter thank you. Alastor this means that we're going to need to be more careful within the ministry about what is said."

"Aren't you going to try and remove him?"

Albus smiled kindly at her the way that an adult smiles at a small child when they're missing the main point.

"If we do that who's going to take his place?"

"What about Millicent Bagnold? She's a decent enough woman and I'm sure we could trust her."

"Yes but what's to stop her being gotten to as well Lily?"

She understood what Albus was saying. Nodding gently she sat back into her chair as they all went silent. A moment passed before Marlene stood up.

"The goblins are staying neutral. I've tried to convince them that they want to join us against Voldemort but wizards have given them such a bad deal they don't want to know."

That too was understandable and then Alice stood up slowly and pulled the bottle from her pocket.

"We're going to have to be more careful someone was following Dorcas. It was only because she saw the guy that we weren't seen. Lily and I had to hide for twenty minutes before we could go collect the bottle."

"Thank you Alice. We shall need to contact her and let her know to keep hidden for a while."

"I don't think there's a need Albus. If I know Dorcas as I think I do she'll remain hidden for a little while, collecting up her memories."

He nodded and Alice sat down and Albus looked at them all.

"Anymore business?"

When they remained silent he gave them the nod and they all began to leave in small numbers. Alice and Frank were among the first and Lily waved as Alice disappeared from the room. She saw Remus, Peter and Sirius walk out, or more like run out yelling about being a Snivellus.

Before Lily realised she was left alone in the room with Moody, Albus and James. Her old peer smiled and offered her a hand.

"May I escort you home? We don't want anything to happen to you now."

She grinned as they left and headed for the path down to Hogsmeade. They were silent as they walked both seemly lost in their own thoughts and Lily was surprised to find herself in her parent's garden. She didn't even remember leaving Hogsmeade.

"Well night Lily."

She just looked at James before sighing and sitting down on the grass.

"Lily are you okay?"

"Will you stay a little bit; I think I need to talk with someone."

He nodded and dropped to the floor next to her. They were both quiet for a moment and then she spoke up.

"James why do the boys call you Prongs?"

"You asked me that once before."

"I know. You didn't answer me then."

"It's just a nickname."

"Yeah well Peter called my patronus Prongs so I think there's a story there."

She saw the way his hand went to his hair and he rumpled it in the way he had always done when he was trying to impress her.

"Alright but you can't tell anybody. This is a major secret alright."

She nodded and he looked at her closely.

"You know about Remus' condition don't you?"

"Yeah he told me. Why what's that got to do with it?"

"Well I became an illegal animagi to try and help him."

"YOU WHAT?"

"Shh Lily. Sirius, Pete and I found out how to do it and well since our fifth year we've been animagi."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing as she looked at him. Then she realised what Peter had meant.

"You're a stag aren't you?"

He grinned and nodded, but she felt completely confused. She'd once read that the patronus of a person could take on the shape of a loved one. If hers was a stag did that mean that she loved James? That he was her soul mate?

"Lily you okay?"

She nodded and looked back at him.

"Sirius is a dog isn't he. That's why he calls his patronus Junior."

"Yep and Peter's a rat. It takes on a bit of something inside you; it's just like your patronus shows a part of you that maybe you didn't know was there, or something that you need."

She nodded and looked back up at the sky.

"A patronus shows your personality from within doesn't it?"

"Yeah and it hints towards your perfect partner as well sometimes. I mean it can take on a shape that has the personality of somebody you love, or belong to."

She knew what he was hinting at but tried to ignore it as she continued to watch the stars.

"I don't get why Peter's is a Chameleon."

"I don't know. Maybe because he has the ability to be in places and nobody notices him. I mean when we're all out people notice Sirius because of his fame, they notice me because of my good looks and Remus because he's good looking I suppose but he doesn't dress as well as us, there's always that shaggy look hanging there. People don't see Pete when we're around."

"Oh so the Chameleon can blend into its background just like Peter."

He nodded and she could still feel his eyes on her.

"I like Remus'. A Unicorn signifies nobility, selflessness and purity."

James laughed and she gave him a stare.

"Sorry it's just I've never heard it that way before. I suppose that's Remus. I mean the purity of the unicorn is the opposite of the wolf in him. It's fitting really and he is selfless. I mean he always puts others before himself."

"But James did you know that the Unicorn will only fight when it is cornered."

She chanced a glance and he was still watching her.

"I shall tell Remus that."

She nodded and leaned back a little.

"I would have thought you'd have mentioned Frank's. I mean how it's a perfect patronus signifying him and Alice."

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's the lion of Gryffindor and an Eagle which is pretty close to Ravenclaw. I mean it's a lion and a bird joined together just like Alice and Frank."

"I never thought of that. I was too moved by the way it was guarding Alice just like Frank would."

"She's his treasure."

"What?"

"Oh come on Lils you're suppose to be a smart girl. Wizards employ Griffins to protect their treasure. So that's why it protects Alice."

"Oh that's sweet. Did you see Moody's?"

"You mean the Erumpent?"

"Yeah how perfect is that. I mean it has the thick hide that repels most charms and curses, well lets face it Moody can do that too. Then it only attacks when its provoked well we both work with Moody and well he doesn't go out attacking the Death Eaters like Crouch would. He only fights for defence."

James nodded and grinned.

"Fabian's is fabulous as well. I mean a Demiguise they can turn themselves invisible just like he can be almost invisible when he's on a job. Oh and did you know that their hair is used to make invisibility cloaks?"

She shrugged as she watched a plane's lights flash along the sky wondering where the destination was.

"Gid's was cool. It's got a smile like his. Its useful too I guess I mean what with the fact that the pustule glows red to warn when muggles are near by. I suppose its good for keeping watch when we need it."

"Are we done with the small talk now?"

"What small talk?"

"Lily I'm trying to give you space to get over Larry I am but it's difficult. I mean being so close to you and not being able to hold you or kiss you. Lily I need you."

"It's not that simple."

"Lily I love you and I know you love me. For crying out loud I'm part of you, your patronus showed us that. I just want …"

Lily didn't let him finish his sentence. Screw the world, screw mourning for Larry she needed to move on, tomorrow she might be dead. She pushed her lips onto James' forcing herself entry into his mouth. Her hands found his neck and hair and she pulled herself closer as his arms came to her waist.

Nothing had changed after three years this was the same kiss as it was then, filled with the same want, with the same need and care as it always had been. Then something clicked in her brain and she tried to pull backwards but as she went James came with her.

Finally she managed to break the kiss. Her breathing was heavy as was his but as soon as they had pulled apart she wanted to kiss him again; it was as if she was made to kiss him and no other man.

"James you should leave?"

"But –"

"Goodnight James."

She stepped inside the kitchen closing the door on him leaning against it. This wasn't good in the least. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted him and yet she felt guilty because Larry hadn't been gone three months and she was kissing someone else and then there was the baby to consider.


	26. Twenty Six

Chapter 26

Lily stood at the door to the house looking at it closely. She had spent all night wondering what to do and she knew what it was she should do. Yet at the same time she didn't want to do it. Taking a breath she knocked on the glass and waited patiently.

It was a few minutes before it was opened and she smiled down at Peter.

"Hi Peter is James in?"

"He's umm gone to your parents place to see you."

"Oh"

She stood there for a moment and looked into the hallway.

"Can I come in?"

"But James isn't here."

"I know I'll wait for him. My dad knows I'm here; don't want to miss him again."

Slowly Peter moved away from the door so that it opened wider and Lily stepped inside. She was surprised by how homely the place looked she'd expected it to be guyish and not liveable.

"Would you like some tea or something?"

She nodded following Peter into the kitchen. She was a little surprised to find Sirius sat there in his boxers legs up on the table but took it in her stride assuming that it was Sirius he was probably always like this.

"Evans."

"Black."

The pair grinned and Peter spoke up.

"Why do you do that? I mean we're all adults now. Surely you can call each other Sirius and Lily everyone else does."

"Moody doesn't?"

Sirius barked a laugh at what Lily said as Peter went slightly red turning as the water boiled.

"Sorry Peter. It's a tradition between Sirius and I, but see I can call him Sirius. That's twice in one sentence."

"So what you doing here anyway?"

"I need to talk to James."

Sirius' legs fell from the table as Peter hit them with the rolled up newspaper and placed a cup in front of Lily.

"He's gone to yours though."

"I already told her that."

"Unless she's hanging around here in the hope that she can find James' bedroom."

"Why'd she want that?"

"To have sex with him of course."

"Well why can't she do that at her parents place?"

"Maybe because they won't let her."

"Do you two mind I am sitting right here."

They both turned and she just shook her head as Sirius stood up stretching.

"I suppose I better go get dressed. I mean I've got training in five minutes."

"Will you be home in time for tea or shouldn't I bother to make you any?"

"I'll try Pete. See you Evans."

He left the room and Lily looked around. It was pretty clean and she was surprised by that. It looked like it was well cared for and she looked at Peter.

"Do you keep the kitchen like this?"

"Yeah I do the housework."

"Wow I'd never have guessed. But I suppose you can't expect the house to be like this if it was left to Sirius and James they're both slobs."

Peter laughed and looked around.

"Yeah and Remus is just as bad although you'd never guess. And whatever you do don't let them cook for you. The one time that James made a meal I ended up with food poisoning. He forgot to turn the oven on when he made the chicken so just put a warming spell on it."

Lily laughed at the thought of that. Peter was smiling gently too. He was actually really nice and Lily was enjoying his company.

"So what do you do then Peter? I mean Sirius is the Quidditch star, James is the Auror and Remus is the unemployed bum."

"I'm the Ministers personal secretary. I mean its not that important all I do is take his owls and make sure that he sees the most important stuff and get rid of all the nonsense that he doesn't need."

"That's how you knew that he was under their control."

"Yeah it wasn't difficult to see the change in him. But at least now that we know for certain I can make sure that what I give him can't be passed onto Voldemort and used against us."

She nodded as the door slammed shut.

"I can't believe it she's avoiding me. You know I didn't do anything wrong she was the one that kissed me! I should just go back there and … Lily?"

"I'm not avoiding you James. I'm just getting to know Peter a little better."

She smiled as the man looked up at James and then to her. Slowly he stood up and pointed at his watch.

"Well I better hit the shops since we need some mince for tonight."

He walked to the kitchen door and turned around to face them once more.

"Oh and Sirius is in practice and Remus well he hasn't come back from Carly's. Nice speaking to you Lily."

"Yeah it was nice speaking to you too."

Lily watched him leave the room and turned to look at James again. He had his left hand in his hair and his eyes were wide looking between her and Peter.

"I wasn't expecting that."

"There's a lot you're not expecting James."

"Yeah last night for one."

"It won't be happening again."

His posture changed instantly and he was sat in the chair next to her trying to take her hand in his. His eyes were locked on hers.

"Why not?"

"Because it was wrong."

"It wasn't though Lily. We're both single so we're not hurting anybody."

"It's too soon after Larry."

"Larry's been dead two months Lils you have to move on and the sooner the better."

"James it's not that simple, it wasn't like Larry was a fling. I was with him a year and I was marrying him."

"He's not going to begrudge you happiness though. I mean he would want you to move on and sooner rather than later. If things were different I'd be patient. I'd just be your friend for about six months, then I'd make my move after a decent amount of time. But Lils tomorrow we could be dead we can't wait six months."

"People wouldn't understand."

"Who cares? I mean I love you Lily and I know that you love me, you always have. So what if people talk just means they haven't got anything better to talk about."

"No James. It's too complicated its best to just leave it like that."

"Why is it too complicated? I don't see any complications."

This was it Lily knew that she had to tell him. He'd find out soon enough anyway it wouldn't be long before she was showing signs.

"I'm two months pregnant."

The impact of her words seemed to take a few seconds to register with him, then his hand had dropped hers and he was leaning back into his chair his hands covering his face. Lily couldn't react to him she just watched as he sat there. It was a good few minutes before he spoke up.

"Did he know?"

"No. I mean I only found out two days ago. But I had my suspicions not long after he died."

"Are you going to keep it?"

His eyes were back on her and she nodded gently.

"Shit."

"James look this is why we can't do this. I mean I don't expect you to want the child as well as me. But I need this baby I can't get rid of it."

"You know people will judge you if you keep it."

"So let them, this is the last piece of Larry that I've got. Something that nobody can take from me I won't let them. I couldn't protect Larry that night but I can protect his child and I will."

He nodded looking at her gently before shaking his head.

"People are going to question it as well."

"Yep but I don't care. I mean its Larry's child and I know that and it's all that matters and my friends will know. If somebody wants to say it's yours fine I'm not going to cry over it."

He nodded again and stood up walking to the kitchen window looking out on the clouding sky.

"Who else knows?"

"Lyn and dad."

"What did they say?"

"Lyn wasn't too sure about me keeping it, made me promise to think it over but I can't get rid of it. Dad wasn't happy either mind. You know the whole sex outside of marriage is frowned on by Catholics but he wouldn't let me get rid of it and he's coming round to the idea."

"What about you? How do you feel really?"

"I'm happy."

His eyes were on her again now and she shuffled a little and he nodded.

"Yeah I can tell that, but what else?"

"That's it. I mean okay I'm a little worried about the baby not having a father but that won't matter. I'll love it enough, it'll never lack love."

His back was to her again and she looked around wondering what to say. A pop echoed through the house and then Remus was stood in the kitchen.

"Hey guys, you two okay?"

Before Lily could answer James had spoken up.

"I'll leave you alone. I'll keep away and pretend like last night didn't happen. But Lily I won't stop loving you but you're right. I can't love the child as well as you."

Ignoring the look Remus was giving her she stood up slowly and forced her eyes to meet James'.

"Right. well I'll see you in work then."

She didn't wait for a reply disappearing to her parents' garden. Tears were playing in her eyes at the thought of what she was losing but she couldn't have James play daddy to a child that wasn't his. It was for her to cope with and nobody else.

Now it was time to tell everyone else. An idea came to mind and she picked up a piece of parchment and wrote a note to the Prophet with all the details she needed. Then picking up more parchment she scribbled letters to people she needed to.


	27. Twenty Seven

Chapter 27

Lily couldn't believe that only that morning she'd told James about her baby, so much was happening that it seemed like a life time ago. It was six o'clock and she had her parents along with Petunia and Vernon sat in the living room watching TV.

She was preparing a meal for that night. It was a simple meal really, Sheppard's pie, but it would do for the guests that would be arriving soon enough. The doorbell sounded and she heard her father's voice saying he'd get it.

"So what we having?"

"Eddie!"

He grinned at her standing there holding what looked like apple crumble in his hand a grin spread over his features.

"So what are we having? Hope apple crumble will go with it."

"Sheppard's pie."

"Oh yummy."

She laughed as he put the crumble down and leaned on the counter watching as she checked to see how it was.

"So you going to tell me why we're here?"

"Not until the others arrive. Where're Libby and Kim?"

"Living room."

She took her apron off and walked into the living room. She found Kim bouncing on her fathers lap grinning like a little angel.

"Lily how are you?"

"Okay Libby, and how's my darling little goddaughter?"

She headed towards her and as she reached out to take her Kim started to scream. So she pulled back to leave her on her fathers lap.

"Still love me then Kim."

The doorbell sounded again and she ran to the door pulling it open. Smiling she found Lyn and Ryan waiting with a bottle of red wine in their hand.

"Hope this goes with the meal?"

She grinned at Ryan taking it from him as he headed into the living room. Lyn though followed her into the kitchen where she put the bottle of wine down.

"I tried to convince him not to bring wine but –"

"Don't worry I won't drink it. I'll let everyone else have it."

"Should I ask why you've invited us over?"

"I'm going to announce it tonight."

"So is James coming?"

She shook her head as she noticed Remus standing in the doorway.

"James is in a right state mind he thinks he's letting you down."

"Remus."

She hugged him pulling a little back and looking back at Lyn.

"He isn't honestly. Listen I need you to keep that little bit of information to yourself for a while nobody knows."

He nodded and then his name was called by Eddie and he disappeared. It wasn't long before Albus had turned up and last to come were Larry's family. Maria smiled happily at Lily like she always had but Roberta and Victor were both sour.

As they sat around the magically extended table and the food was passed about Roberta made her first remark.

"So where's your boyfriend tonight then?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh so you've not been sneaking around with that Potter guy then."

"Roberta I loved your son. I wasn't having an affair and I'm not dating anybody now."

The woman huffed and then with horror her own mother spoke up.

"So where's James tonight then Lily?"

Luckily Remus was on the ball and spoke up.

"With his girlfriend."

"He has a girlfriend?"

There was a surprised sound to Victors question but if Remus had heard it he ignored it nodding happily.

"Yeah Tara Next he's been seeing her now for six months but it's all a secret."

Everyone silently ate their meal and Lily gave a small smile towards Remus. The bottle of wine had long been emptied and they were on their third one before anybody noticed that Lily had lemonade in her glass.

"You want some wine Lily?"

"No thanks Ry."

"Oh come on you usually like wine."

She took a deep breath and looked straight ahead of her into the eyes of her father and smiled a little refusing to look at anybody else.

"I actually won't be having wine for a while, or anything else alcoholic. You see I'm pregnant."

She heard a mixture of gasps, forks hitting plates and even a glass smashing on the floor. She looked sideways to where Roberta and Victor were sitting side by side.

"Larry is gone I know that and he'll never be back but at least now we have something of him left. A baby, your grandchild."

They didn't move and everyone was silent and then her mother spoke up sharply.

"You were sleeping with him!"

"Mother I'm an adult."

"You weren't married."

"We were getting married."

"That doesn't matter a good Catholic girl doesn't share her bed with a man until she's married to him."

"Well I'm not a good little Catholic girl then am I?"

"What's Catholic?"

Laughter left Lily's lips as she turned to look at Victor and just shook her head at him.

"A religious group that my parents are part of, not something I follow myself mind."

Everyone sat there silent and nothing was said. For the first time Lily looked at Albus a small smile on her face.

"I hope this isn't going to change things?"

"It will Lily, it will."

She nodded but kept her eyes on his.

"But you're not getting rid of me. I'm staying put even if it means all I can do is sit and listen."

He smiled and nodded and Lily looked around at them all.

"Okay so the rest of you have got to have something to say."

"Jimmy say something to her."

"I've already said everything that I need to say."

"You knew!"

Lily watched as her mother stood from her seat leaning towards her father with a threatening look on her face. Surprisingly Eddie laughed lightly causing her attention to come on him.

"And what do you think is so funny?"

"Nothing. Just found out where Lily gets that leaning over you thing from."

Lily could see Libby's hand hitting Eddie but her focus was still fixed on her mother.

"Mum I know you're not happy but this is your grandchild and two months ago you wouldn't have had anything to do with it. If things were different you wouldn't even know about it. So if you want to scream and yell go on, tell me that I've done something wrong dads already said that. Tell me that its going to be tough and I should get rid of it Lyn and James have said it. Go on say anything you want, it's not going to change anything. I'm having this baby and you've either got to accept it or lose me for good this time."

"The freaks having a freak baby."

Petunia had stood up from the table and was looking straight at her.

"Don't expect me to play aunty to the child. As far as I'm concerned you died ten years ago."

Lily was slightly taken aback by that but then she hadn't expected Petunia to want a part in the child's life. The backdoor opened and slammed shut behind her sister and then Vernon stood up his moustache moved as he pulled a face and he was gone too.

Lily's mother was now red in the face and she looked thunderous. Her palms were flat against the table and she was leaning over it her eyes wide filled with anger, hurt and more emotions than Lily could pick up.

"Don't you ever speak to me like that again I am your mother."

Then she too was gone through the door and up the stairs her footfalls echoing loudly through the room. Her father though remained seated looking around.

"Alright so that's been sorted, anybody else want to contribute."

"How do we know its Larry's?"

"Roberta!"

"Well how do we know? Just because she wasn't having an affair with Potter doesn't mean that she wasn't having an affair."

Lily placed the elbow of her left arm on the table and let her forehead rest against the palm. She had known this wasn't going to be easy but still she had expected them to accept this child as their grandchild.

"Roberta I wasn't sleeping with anyone other than Larry I swear. Look I only brought you here because I've sent an owl to the prophet letting them know of the situation because they're going to find out and so I'm putting the news out there. You can believe whatever you like but this is your grandchild and if you want a part in the baby's life then you can if you don't fine. I'll raise the baby on my own."

Roberta still didn't look happy and stood up pulling Victor with her.

"We're going home. Megan come on."

Lily watched as they left and fell back onto her chair looking at those that remained. Albus was smiling gently while Lyn was looking guilty as Ryan gave her the killer eye. Remus was silent with his hands folded into his lap just looking at them. Libby was trying to keep Kim quiet but Eddie had a smile like a manic.

"Eddie what?"

"My little Lily is all grown up and having a baby. I'm going to be an uncle!"

She laughed and the tension lifted from the room. It wasn't long until people began to leave and she felt safe and happy with everything. Life was changing something good had risen from the bad and what else could happen?


	28. Twenty Eight

Chapter 28

_Today we can exclusively report that we've received a letter from the ex-fiancée of Quidditch star Lawrence Matthews. It would seem that Lily Evans isn't as innocent as she claims to be. In fact she is now with child and claims it to be that of the chaser superstar._

_However questions are being asked by all whether this is just a ploy of Evans' to get people on her side and that she isn't in fact with child. It is this reporter's belief that the witch will claim to miscarry this child and move on with her life again._

_Yet if there is a baby well then how can she so openly claim it to be Matthew's after we revealed her affair with one James Potter. In the coming months we will learn more of this and keep you up to date with this pregnancy._

_Rita Skeeter_

Lily closed the paper and placed it on her desk. She then looked up at Eddie with a small smile playing on her features.

"Well I didn't expect them to print my letter or to be fair about it. I mean the first thing that came to my mind is that people will think its James'. But I don't care."

"That's the way baby. Have you thought about what you'll do after you have it?"

"Well I'm going to need some time off I know that. I've been thinking about getting a nanny or maybe seeing if I can get somebody else who has a young child to maybe help me out for a few days a week. You know so that I can come back part time."

"I'm sure that I could get Libby to want to look after the baby, especially as it will mean a little friend for our Kim. She's a little spoilt on her own and there's no sign of another coming anytime soon."

Lily laughed just as a bang sounded behind her. She turned to see another red head run into the room. Gideon was bouncing as he ran into the room and his brother Fabian was right behind him looking like he wanted to throttle him.

"Baby, baby, baby there's going to be a baby."

Lily didn't have time to react as his hand landed on her stomach where a bump would be forming soon. The man though didn't look at her as he began to speak to her stomach.

"Hello I'm your Uncle Gid, and I'm going to be the cool bloke that teaches you all about Quidditch. Oh and I'll teach you to fly and get you to support the Arrows and I bet you'll be a little chaser just like your dad was. You'll be fantastic and all the supporters will love you to pieces and you'll just love it."

"Have you finished now Gid?"

"Nope need to talk to babies before they're born Lily. Molly told me all about it. She use to talk to her bump when she was pregnant with Bill and with Charlie and that's what she did with Percy as well. He's only tiny though Percy, he'll be eight months older than the baby. Of course that means he'll be a year older in school but I'm sure that with Uncle Gid I'll have them as best of friends."

"Okay Gideon you better get going before Moody turns up and sees –"

"Too late Prewett. What are you doing here this is Auror and Medicareers area not Quidditch players. Now out!"

"But –"

"If I have to say it again Prewett you'll be hopping out of here now go!"

Lily grinned at the face that he pulled and then he was gone. She was left looking at Fabian and Moody both men were watching her carefully and then Fabian moved towards her and gave her a hug.

"Congratulations. You'll be a great mum and Larry would be thrilled as well."

"Thanks Fabian that means a lot."

He nodded before leaving and she was left to face Moody with Eddie at her side.

"Evans you can't stay active on the field. You can stay here for two days a week doing paper work for the department rest of the time you'll be on hospital duty. Don't want anything happening to you now."

She nodded and she was sure he smiled slightly before he left the room. She looked at Eddie who pulled a face at the Auror as he walked away.

"I saw that Charlton."

Lily burst out laughing at the look on Eddie's face. When he managed to compose himself he looked back at her.

"Guess I'll need to sort out the rotas. Better make sure that you work the same shifts as me from now on."

"And why's that?"

"Because I want to be here if the baby starts moving of course silly!"

"Oh of course what was I thinking!"

"Exactly can't let you go through that on your own."

"What if the baby starts moving when I'm at home?"

"You'll send Thucydides and I'll come straight over."

"Even if its two o'clock in the morning?"

"Especially if its two o'clock in the morning."

Lily laughed happily as she picked up a quill and started filling in the forms that were pilled up on her desk. She was glad that it was a quiet day and that she and Eddie alone were on duty. Her mind wasn't really on her work but on the reactions that were probably going on over the wizarding world; she was wondering if she'd get any more hate mail.

She hadn't told any of her friends about the amount she had received after Larry's death. It seemed that a lot of his fans were angry with her 'cheating' on him and 'leaving' him to die. She had tried to take it in her stride but it had affected her.

"LILY!"

She turned to find Alice standing in the doorway between the joined rooms and smiled at the older woman.

"Hello Alice. How are you today?"

"Surprised that's how. I can't believe you didn't tell me that you're having a baby. When's it due?"

Then woman walked into the room. Gently she put one arm onto desk opposite Lily's so she was leaning on it.

"Oh a while yet. Around about April possibly the end of March, but I suppose it'll come soon enough."

"Oh I bet you're really excited. It's just a pity that Larry isn't here. He always wanted a family, a large family. He told me that he was sure that he would have five children minimum."

"Really was he going to get someone else pregnant? I've only ever planned on one child, maybe two at the most."

"Oh I'm sure he would have convinced you."

Lily nodded gently as she heard Moody's voice ring through the rooms in annoyance. Alice pulled a face and looked at her watch.

"Opps I'm late for my meeting with Moody. See you later."

Lily nodded and turned back to her paperwork. Within seconds though she threw the quill down and looked at Eddie.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Eddie I could feel your eyes on me. Spit it out!"

"Fine it's just … when did you start speaking to Alice Longbottom?"

"Oh Larry introduced her to me a while back. You know she's married to Frank and Frank is good mates with Fabian and Larry was best friends with Fabian and Gideon. So they introduced him to Frank and then I got introduced to him and that's how Alice and I got friendly."

"I've never seen the two of you talk before."

"Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen."

She saw the look on his face. It was stern and then suddenly it changed to a grin and he shook his head pointing his finger at her.

"You got me again. That puts you in the lead I believe."

"I've always been in the lead."

He raised an eyebrow as she poked her tongue out at him. Then once more she picked up her quill. She hated having to do the figures for the injured people. They use to do it monthly but now every two week. There were so many attacks these days that there was at least one casualty everyday. It was a bad time to be someone with high morals and even worse to be a paper pusher in the medicareer department of the ministry. The thought of having to do this alone for the next seven months sent shivers down her spine.

Finally after three hours she'd finished and standing up slowly stretched to her full height looking around. Eddie had disappeared around two hours ago for coffee and hadn't returned. This puzzled Lily and she headed into the section filled with Auror cubicles. Most of these were empty as well.

Walking through them Lily couldn't help but wonder what was happening. A cool breeze floated through the room and her hair swung out a little behind her. Looking around she felt eyes on her and panic took over. Pulling her wand out slowly she stood still and closed her eyes trying to listen for any noise.

A creak sounded behind her and she spun sticking her wand out at the throat of a young girl whose eyes flung wide with panic.

"Oh I'm so sorry!"

"What the hell is wrong with you lady?"

"Nothing its nothing. Do you know where everyone is?"

"Been an attack down in Devon, one up in Yorkshire and last I heard there was one going on in Holly Head as well. I'm guessing that the rest of the Aurors are there."

"Oh, why aren't you there then?"

"I work in regulation department. I've come to give Moody a list of people we need brought in."

"Oh if you want I'll give it to him when he gets back."

The girl nodded and Lily was sure she heard her mutter freak as she walked away. Lily couldn't work out what had come over her. She had been petrified that somebody was there and going to attack her.

She lowered herself into a chair looking at the name on the cubicle, Fabian Prewett. A smile spread to her lips as she looked at the objects he'd placed in his small space. There was a poster hung up on the back of the cubicle it was sky blue with little while dots that could have been clouds. Every few moments an arrow would fly through the air and pierce a red apple hanging from a tree. As it did this the words Appleby Arrows would shine up in golden letters.

On the desk itself though there were a handful of photos, she could see one that was quite old almost fading. It was a black and white picture that was turning a brownish yellow on the edges showing its age. Inside there were two people a woman dressed in what looked like white dress robes and a man in black ones. The closer she looked the more she recognised them. The woman had a nose very similar to Fabian and Gideon's. The mans face was the same shape as the brothers and his eyes were the same shape. However the smile that the woman wore was the one the boys had and she knew that this must be their parents on their wedding day.

The second photo was more modern it held a woman with red hair that fell to her shoulders. In her hair sat small white flowers that matched the robe she was wearing. A smile sat on her face that wasn't too different to Gideon's. Her eyes though reminded her of the woman in the other picture and Lily knew her to be Molly, the boys' older sister. Next to her stood a man with his arm wrapped around her. He too had red hair and was smiling and Lily instantly recognised him. That was Arthur Weasley who ran the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts department just down the corridor. That explained why he would always wave at Fabian and some mornings stop for a conversation, they were brothers in law.

Her eyes drifted to a photo frame that held two pictures. One had two boys smiling out at her. Both had red hair that fell just below their ears and twinkling blue eyes. The taller one wore a knitted blue jumper with a B on it and the smaller a yellow one with a C on the front. Bill and Charlie the nephews that Gideon had mentioned while talking to her stomach. They were adorable, Bill was holding tightly to a toy broom and Charlie was hitting him in the stomach with a stuffed dragon as he tried to climb on the broom.

The other one held a tiny baby with a little spike of red hair. His eyes were closed and he was in a little blue baby growth. He looked tiny and Lily guessed that must be little baby Percy who Molly had only had in August.

The last picture on the desk was a typical Prewett outing with Fabian and Gideon sat at a bar with a pint glasses in their hands. She looked at the pair of them smiling and banging the glasses together. Then suddenly a blonde would appear and bang their heads together and start laughing. Lily looked at the picture for ages taking in every detail of Larry in it.

She didn't know how long she was sat there. But at some point she must have dozed off because when she opened her eyes again Moody was stood over her.

"Evans what are you doing out here?"

"Oh waiting for you to get back actually sir. A woman from the regulation department dropped this off a list of wanted people."

He took it and grunted. Lily looked at the clock it was seven in the evening. Standing up slowly she stretched and bid him goodnight heading home for the night.

* * *

I want to say thanks to those of you that pointed out my mistake in the last chapter. I didn't even notice it. But yes Larry's sister is called Megan not Maria. I've gone back and changedthat. Thanks for pointing it out to me.

Kris


	29. Twenty Nine

Chapter 29

Lily sat in the church among so many others smiling happily as she held her fathers hand in hers gently. The hymn came to an end and the voices of the choir drifted away. The priest stood at the front of the church and waved his arms to the ceiling calling out prayers. Lily answered with the simple amen's along with the rest of the congregation.

"And the angels sang their praises in that field and the Shepard's left their flock to go see for themselves the miracle of God and his son. For Mary gave birth to our savour that very night knowing that he would save us all from our sins one day."

Lily wanted to roll her eyes. It wasn't that she didn't believe it or did she? She accepted that at one time she had believed in it. But now she just couldn't. It wasn't the fact that she didn't want to, some part of her really did want to believe in it. The thing was this wasn't part of her life anymore. It had been a long time since she had last been a believer.

It was the fact that the wizarding world didn't seem to place any importance in any religion. She had spent so long in their world that she had come round to their way of thinking. Maybe people would say that the devil had led her away from the correct path. After all they had once believed that witches were evil. She didn't think that though. What she was doing was right and just.

She watched as those around her began to stand and realised that she had been daydreaming and had missed most of the ceremony. Slowly she got to her feet and out of habit lowered her hand to her stomach. At four months pregnant her bump was now clear to the world.

Her father gently wrapped her winter coat over her shoulders and she pulled her gloves on as they stepped outside into the night air. It was now officially the twenty-fifth of December since they had been sat in midnight mass. That meant that it was now Christmas Day. She smiled as she looked up into her father's eyes as around them the snow fell.

"Its beautiful dad."

"It always has been baby. You've just forgotten."

She linked her arm into his and they walked down the steps smiling gently at those around them and waving to those that waved back. Lily had caused quite a stir when she had entered the church with her father. It seemed that they all knew that she wasn't married and looking at her bump they saw it as sin.

"Lily Evans is that you? You haven't changed a bit since you were a child."

Lily turned and spotted her old Sunday school teacher and smiled at her.

"Hello Miss Stand."

"Please Lily, its Gloria. My you are big aren't you where's the father?"

Lily had been waiting for somebody to come and ask her about it. These folks were all a bunch of busybodies wanting all the gossip and scandals that they could find.

"He never knew about it. He was killed before I found out."

"Killed! That must have been horrible."

"Lily lets go."

"No dad if people want to know I'll tell them. The father of my child was killed the night before our wedding and then I found out I was having his child. It's a miracle and you can all judge me I don't care."

She lifted her chin and looked straight ahead daring anybody to judge her. Gloria seemed at a loss and instead turned to her father.

"Jimmy where's Silvia tonight then?"

"Oh she's not well, she has flu. So we left he tucked up in bed and sleeping."

The woman nodded as Lily's dad steered her through the crowd and along the path. She looked out around them at the graves and felt a pang in her heart. She wondered how many of these people had been ripped away from their families too soon.

Her father continued to lead her out of the graveyard and then they were onto the street. Around them small snowflakes floated to the floor but they didn't pay the weather any attention. Slowly they walked together watching out for any icy patches.

"Merry Christmas dad."

He turned to look at her and she laughed lightly as she lifted her face to the sky. Closing her eyes she let the snow fall on her knowing her hair would look like it was filled with dandruff. She couldn't help but grin as she walked slowly along the deserted streets. She was happy for one of the first times in months.

Almost instantly the care free atmosphere vanished and Lily stopped walking looking around at her surroundings. She could feel somebody watching her and she didn't like it. Tension flooded her body as she remembered that it had been nearly three days since the last attack.

A cold grip grabbed at her heart and she knew what was coming. She had been involved in battles for over a year and knew the signs. Reaching into her trouser pocket she pulled out her wand and looked all around her.

"Lily put that away!"

"Shh."

There was a soft crunching noise on the snow behind her slightly to her right. A small smirk played on her features she was ready for this. Her father though wasn't. He had paled considerably and she knew why instantly as she heard the word.

"Crucio"

Without thinking she pushed her father out of the way just catching the sight of his legs going up into the air as he went over the bush into somebody's front garden.

"Protego"

A shield went up in front of her and the spell bounced back towards her attacker. But with a quick side step it had completely missed the person. She looked at him, she was sure it was a him because the voice wasn't at all feminine. He was dressed completely in black with a mask covering his face and she knew it was one of them. A follower of Voldemort.

"Stupefy."

The attacker again wasn't hit and Lily was beginning to get annoyed. He sent a spell towards her it was a purple flame and Lily knew that she couldn't get hit by it no matter what happened. But she was slower than he was with her movement and once more called up a shield.

She didn't know what else to do she needed help and she needed it quickly. She knew that Alice and Frank lived somewhere near by. They lived out in the country side and she was sure it was in a house outside of this very village.

So doing the only thing she could think of she yelled the words concentrating on the task at hand.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM"

Saphine burst from her wand and took off up the road away from where she was stood facing the Death Eater. He laughed at this and seemed to think that she was losing it.

"Petrificus Totalus."

She watched as the spell left her wand tip and headed for him. She was tired and her spell was weak there was no way that she would be able to keep going for long. The spell bypassed the target and then she heard his words and froze.

"Imperimenta."

That was her mistake. She went flying backwards down the road and landed heavily on her back. Instantly her hand went to her stomach as it always did. She was panicking had she just allowed that man to hurt her child? Struggling she managed to sit up and saw him bearing down on her. She couldn't think all the spells she had ever learnt left her brain and her eyes widened.

"Expelliarmus"

The wand flew out of the hands of the masked man and his head shot up. Lily looked behind and saw Frank standing there a look of disgust on his face as he moved forward his wand pointed. However before he was able to yell any other spell a pop sounded and the attacker had disappeared.

Now that they were alone again the atmosphere seemed to lighten and warmth spread through the chilly night. Frank was within arms reach and he pulled Lily up to a standing position.

"What the hell are you doing out on your own?"

"I'm not on my own."

Frank looked around her raising his hands to the sky in a sign of frustration. Lily suddenly remembered the image of her father's legs in the air as she had pushed him behind a bush. Walking tenderly as she was sore she stopped at the closed gate to the garden her father was in. Gently she pushed it open and laughed. Her father was flat on his back laying in a heap of snow just looking at the sky.

"Thanks for that Lily."

"What? I was getting you out of the way!"

She offered him a hand and pulled him to a stand. Frank was there next to her and his eyes almost rolled in his head.

"A muggle! Lily you're out on your own with a muggle! What's wrong with you?"

"Frank there's nothing wrong with me, and this is my dad."

"He's still a muggle isn't he?"

She nodded slowly knowing what was coming. Linking one arm to her fathers and letting the other rest in Franks she began to steer the pair of them.

"You're a target Lily. Hello its time you wake up. Look at you you're four months pregnant and not as quick as you usually are. You could have been killed tonight."

"I know that's why I sent Saphine to you."

"Lucky I was in then isn't it. Next time you might not be so lucky."

She remained silent as they walked down the street turning right at the bottom until they reached the front garden of her parents' home.

"Frank thanks."

"Yeah you should be. I'll be speaking to Albus about this tomorrow. I can't believe that you were so stupid as to –"

She leaned up and kissed his cheek gently. She could feel the stubble on his face indicating that he needed to shave.

"Merry Christmas Frank."

His face softened and he hugged her gently. She felt his lips touch her forehead.

"Merry Christmas Lily."

She smiled and followed her father into the house and headed slowly up to bed. All energy was draining from her and she was ready for a good nights sleep.


	30. Thirty

Chapter 30

Lily turned slightly in her bed. She could hear a small buzz of conversation floating up the stairs bringing with it the smell of turkey. Gently she pulled the blanket off of her body and shivered with cold. Sitting up she rubbed at her back. It ached from the fall the night before.

Standing up she moved to her wardrobe and looked at what she had in there. She pulled out a pair of black trousers that were elasticised to fit and slipped into them. Her red jumper hung there looking much too small for her now. Reaching for her wand she muttered a spell to make it fit and slipped it over her head. Then pushing her feet into her slippers she headed down the stairs.

Her family were sat around the kitchen as they always were. Her mother was cutting up vegetables for the dinner and her father was reading the manuals to something. Petunia was stood next to her mother peeling what Lily guessed were potatoes and Vernon was sat looking at a paper.

"Morning."

They all turned to look at her and Vernon dropped the paper. Shuffling towards them she lowered herself into a chair as her father stood up.

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Oh yes please."

He started banging things and Lily focused on Vernon.

"What's wrong with you?"

He shook his head looking at the ceiling and Lily just shrugged. She reached for the paper he had dropped and a small smile came to her features.

"The Daily Prophet. Why Vernon I didn't know that you were interested in the wizarding world."

"I'm not; I was just looking at the picture of you flat on your back."

Lily scrunched up her face as she looked at the cover page. There was a huge headline Lily Evans attacked. She groaned as she saw the picture of herself spread out in the snow looking up at the attacker. Where the hell had they gotten that picture from? She looked closely at the article.

_Last night Lily Evans attended a muggle church with her father Jimmy Evans. On their way home they were attacked by a follower of You-Know-Who. The witch quickly reacted pushing her muggle father over a bush and out of harms way. She then tried to take on the attacker solo._

_Evans though is four months pregnant with the child she claims is that of dead fiancé Lawrence Matthews but more likely of secret boyfriend James Potter. Her slowed pace was no match to the attacker and within minutes he had her disarmed on the floor certain for death._

_It was at that point that Auror Frank Longbottom appeared from nowhere and scared the attacker away. Now how did Longbottom know that Evans was in trouble? I would guess that a closer eye is being kept on her than has previously been believed. Does this mean that she is a magnet for attack? It is this reporter's belief that she is and warns readers to keep away from her unless you too wish to be dead._

_Rita Skeeter_

Lily dropped the paper back onto the table muttering under her breath. This was ridiculous how could a reporter be following her around all the time? Lily had noticed on several occasions reports about situations she was sure nobody knew about.

"You okay sweetie?"

She nodded looking at her mother. Nothing was said as she turned around and Lily took her cup from her father happily.

"Well aren't you going to open your presents then?"

She had completely forgotten about presents. Struggling she tried to get to her feet but her father waved her down. He was back with a bag filled with gifts for her. Smiling she took them and reached inside pulling out a small blue one.

Looking at it closely she saw that it had Lyn's name on it. Gently tugging at the ribbon she opened the box and smiled as she saw the twinkling of a charm in the shape of a broomstick. She and Lyn had bought each other charm bracelets when they were fifteen and for Christmas and birthdays every year they bought charms.

Beneath that in the pile was something wrapped in a very light blue colour. Picking it up Lily found that it was really soft and she thought maybe it was a stuffed animal. However once the paper was off it she laughed.

"What's so funny sweetie?"

"Its Larry dad."

"Larry?"

"Yeah he was a Quidditch player. It's almost like being a footballer that's how famous they are in the wizarding community. Well the Arrows have a shop that sells toys and things for children and one of the things is the entire team in soft cuddly toys and this is Lawrence."

"Wait so that's a doll of the man you were marrying."

She nodded at Vernon as she took in the looks on the doll. It was nothing compared to the man himself but it was close. The head held perfect blue eyes the exact shade that Larry's had been. The hair was actual hair, the makers had been given a sample of Larry's hair and they had magical produced more for the doll.

She could see her mother looking closely at it. They hadn't spoken much about Larry but she knew James had told them a lot. She had shown them pictures and what not but that had been it. As she went to hand it to her mother though a soft voice sounded through the room.

"I love you with all my heart."

Her heart jumped at the sound. That was her Larry's voice. As her mother handled it she noticed a small note in the paper and pulled it out.

_Lily this is a unique doll. This was going to be used in the new season but has been pulled out of the market. The one you have is the only one in existence. I hope you don't mind but I picked the phrase. Thought you'd like it more than 'Quidditch rocks' and 'Arrows forever'. Gideon._

"Whose voice is that?"

She turned to see her sister looking at the doll. She knew Petunia and would bet anything that her sister liked the sound of Larry's voice, hell all the other women did.

"Larry's."

"What?"

She smiled at her mother and nodded.

"It was going to be the doll for the new season but it's been pulled. It's the only one there is. Larry did recording for the doll three phrases, and Gid picked the best one for me."

The voice sounded again and she grinned remembering the way he had looked at her when he said it. He always looked into her eyes and his would shine. She missed hearing him say it.

"You haven't opened these."

She looked into the pile and as she reached stopped. Something felt weird. It happened again and she looked down at her stomach. Her eyes widened and she just sat there wondering what to do.

"Dad have we got paper and a pen?"

She was handed a piece of paper and quickly scribbled a note. Thucydides was close by and hoped over to her when she called. He lifted his left leg and she gently placed the letter there and watched as the tawny owl flew away.

"Where's he going?"

"Don't worry you'll find out soon enough."

She finished unwrapping her presents and sat at the table with her father playing dominos. Vernon gave up after two attempts because he kept losing and was now watching TV in a pout.

Then they all sat together at the dinner table pulling crackers and wearing silly hats laughing at the sad jokes placed in the paper. Lily was biting into her turkey when a knock came on the door and her father went to open it.

"Lily baby where are you? Come on Lily answer me!"

Eddie's face appeared around the door seconds before he skidded in. His hair was rumpled and he had gravy don't his front but was smiling as he stopped in front of her.

"I haven't missed it have I?"

"Of course not."

He was waving his hand in front of her and she gently took it and placed it on her bump. Carefully moving it around until it reached the spot. Eddie made a soft squeal as the baby kicked his hand and Lily smiled.

"Am I the first?"

"Didn't I promise you?"

"Yes!"

She laughed as her mother moved over towards her.

"Is the baby kicking?"

She nodded and her mother pushed Eddie's hand away replacing it with her own. Lily just watched as they pushed each other a little out of the way to try and feel the baby.

"Eddie you didn't leave dinner did you?"

"No I finished it."

"Did you tell Libby why you were leaving?"

"Told her there was an emergency."

Lily just shook her head laughing gently as she allowed those around her to feel her baby's first movements, it was all real now.

* * *

I would just like to say now that I'm behind on some University work so the next post won't be until I've caught up.

Kris


	31. Thirty One

A/N: Now a lot of people have been asking where James has gone in the last few chapters. Truth is he didn't take the news about the baby very well and he's giving himself some space. He's still about and Lily still see's him but he isn't that big in her life as he was after Larry's death. However this chapter is a turn around to that and pretty soon you'll all be seeing James again (although I think I'd rather see Gideon myself, what you think Caz?)

* * *

Chapter 31

New Year passed without much notice. For the first time in years Lily spent it sat in her parent's living room watching TV. There was no alcohol for her, no music or dancing. She didn't mind though she was saying goodbye to a hard year; a year where she had lost the man she loved.

As midnight showed itself she made her resolution, the coming year would be a year where she was going to put herself first. She was going to rest and do everything she could to keep the baby safe.

Before she knew it she was back in work. She was getting tired sooner now and so her hours in the hospital had gone down to basic and what she was doing was mostly paperwork. She would usually complain but she was too tired to even do that.

However she did find the energy to attend a party on the sixteenth of January. She found herself once more outside of the Black Bludger, the pub at the Bodmin Moor stadium where most of the Quidditch matches were played. Lily was looking forward to the night out; she hadn't been out since the night of Aberforth's birthday.

That night had been great. The Order really knew how to party. Lily had even been able to spend time with James that night without much tension since everything other than the Order was forgotten. The best part had been the photo. She had been sat next to Peter chatting happily when James had slumped down next to him and pointed to the front. A photo had been taken showing the Order as it was on that day, it had been a good idea something to show those later on. Something that would show that people had stood up for the good.

She walked carefully up to the door and grinned as she saw Ethan standing there as he always did a smile on his face.

"Evening Lily."

"Evening Ethan."

"You look very well."

"Thanks and you do."

"How far are you?"

"Five months."

He smiled as he opened the door letting her inside. Music bounced from the walls and she edged inside. It was packed with people dancing and drinking wherever she looked. She spotted Sian and Emma talking over by the bar, and then Holly, Delia and Cat were dancing on the floor. Amanda Smyth the team's new keeper was happily chatting to Robbie Clarkson a chaser for Wigtown Wanderers, Ryan's team.

Lily continued to look around and found Gideon stood with Sirius talking with Tim Davies the Appleby's chaser. It was strange seeing so many people of opposing teams socialising together. But it was sign of true sportsmanship, where when there was a good party it didn't matter what team you were on, you were still going to get drunk.

"Lily!"

She turned in time for Lyn to fling herself into her arms hugging her tightly. Lily laughed and hugged her back; it wasn't as easy as it once had been with her large bump between them.

"You look gorgeous Lyn!"

The beater had her hair back to her natural blonde falling in loose curls around her face. She was dressed in a simple pink cocktail dress but she was beautiful. Lily felt fat and ugly next to her dressed in an elasticised skirt and blue blouse.

"You look fabulous Lily, you're just glowing."

She didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or not. But since Lyn was slurring her words in her usual drunken manner she didn't take it to heart too much.

By nine o'clock Lily was shattered. Around her everyone was drunk laughing but she was sober and on her own. She needed a friend who would stay sober with her, that was usually where Eddie came in handy.

A loud bang echoed through the room and the music died. Lily turned slightly and saw that the door was blowing open. Standing in the doorway were masked figures in black. She gulped and looked around. Everyone was drunk but seemed to have realised the danger.

Gideon and Sirius had edged off and she was sure she saw Junior go through an open window. Help was surely on its way and soon. Screaming ran loudly through the room but she was trying to keep a cool head. Moving carefully she got to her feet and saw a spell heading into the room.

She saw that it was close to Ryan and quickly sent Saphine to absorb it. A smile swept her face when the spell vanished but now she was in danger they had seen her. Something inside was telling her to run but she was a fighter and these people needed protecting.

Suddenly a fight broke out and Lily found herself in the middle of it. She threw spells in all directions and Saphine surrounded her constantly taking the spells sent at her. A hand landed on her shoulder and she was pulled backwards.

A scream left her lips but died almost instantly as Junior ran around her with Saphine. Sirius yelled something and she ducked as an explosion went off nearby. Yelling once more surrounded her but she recognised Moody's voice among it. The Order had arrived.

Lily waddled forward and with a good aim disarmed one of the attackers. She looked around and saw a lot of people on the floor. She knew that many had died and was unsure whether Lyn was one of them. She had no time for that though as Alice grabbed her arm and they headed forward towards the main door.

Then without warning something surrounded them, there was a bang and Lily fell forward. Reaching out she put her hand onto a table and then she felt it, a tug at her stomach. Alice screamed as did she and everything around them went quiet…

* * *

Okay I know this isn't all that long but I'm in the middle of essays. I'm posting this now because I just finished one essay but now I've got another to do. Hopefully after Easter things will settle down again. I'm not sure when the next post will be maybe one day next week possibly the week later, depends on how my Ancient Technology essay is going.

Kris


	32. Thirty Two

Chapter 32

Darkness that's all there was. Nothing could penetrate the prison. There would be no escape. Lily's mind constantly swam with this information. She didn't know where she was or when she had arrived. All sense of time had elapsed. Maybe it had been hours but it could have been days maybe even weeks.

In the distance dripping could be heard but that was all. Lily had long lost her wand and her hope of escape. Next to her Alice was curled up tightly in a ball sleeping. Where was Frank? She was expecting him to arrive with Griff soon. But something told her that if Frank could come he would have been there by now.

Alice was stirring besides her and she turned trying to make out where her friend was.

"Lily?"

"Over here."

She could hear Alice fumbling and then they were holding hands sat on the floor in total darkness.

"Did you get any sleep?"

Lily shook her head and then realising how pointless that was answered.

"No at least I don't think so."

There was a scrapping sound and Lily's heartbeat increased.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah."

Alice's reply didn't make her feel any better. The scrapping got louder and then a light shone in. It wasn't too bright but after total darkness Lily was unable to see. A pair of hands came at her and she screamed.

Alice was clinging to her tightly as they were dragged along the passageway up some stone stairs. With her eyesight coming back Lily spun her head trying to spot something that would give away where they were. The only thing she knew though was that they were underground.

Another door was opened and Lily felt the push on her lower back. Alice was with her though and they stood in the room in complete terror. Her body was shaking now and it didn't help that the baby was kicking from the inside out.

At the far end the door opened again and a woman with dark almost curled hair entered. She was well dressed and looked almost regal. Her face though gave away the truth, there was panic on it.

"Here, eat this."

The woman pushed food into their hands but Lily wasn't going to eat it. This had to be a trap but Alice nudged her.

"Eat it Lily its safe."

Slowly she took a nibble on the bread and found it tasted alright. A goblet was passed into her hand and she downed the water looking at the woman.

"The pair of you have to get out of here."

"It's not that easy though Dorcas."

Lily felt stupid that she hadn't put it together. The Order had a spy working for Voldemort and that was this woman.

"I'll help as much as I can, but it's not much."

Alice was nodding and Lily looked around and back at the woman.

"Can you get our wands?"

"Yeah I know where they are."

"Good if you get us our wands Alice and I can do the rest."

The woman nodded and looked at the door.

"He's coming now, he's going to try and get information from you. Just play dumb he'll put the Cruciatus curse on the pair of you, but not to do much damage. He's going to try and break you over a few weeks."

"How long have we been here Dor?"

"Two days."

Lily looked back at Alice. Two days that was all, it seemed like a lifetime. Then the door opened again and Lily grabbed hold of Alice's hand as the creature stood before them. She wondered if he had ever looked human. His head was bald, eyes red and mouth snarled.

"Ladies good of you to join me again."

There was something in his voice that showed he wasn't happy to have lost them the first time. Lily panicked instantly. She wasn't worried for herself but her baby. He could kill her baby without much problem. Her child was the last part of Larry that she had.

Her legs gave way under her, she hadn't felt it coming. She landed with a bump on a wooden chair. However the problem was that she was frozen, she couldn't move in the least. The creature stood in front of the pair of them with what was probably a smile for him on his face.

"Now how about we continue with our little conversation."

He waved his wand and Lily's mouth became slack.

"Now tell me about this Order."

"Never."

Alice had spat the words at him. He grinned at her as his wand was raised.

"Cruico."

Pain shot through Lily's body. All her nerves were screaming but she bit hard on her lower lip. He could try this but she wasn't going to play ball she wouldn't ever give anything away. Then the pain subsided and he was watching her.

"If you don't want to feel that again Mudblood tell me what I want to know."

"Go to hell!"

His eyes narrowed and she watched his wand movement.

"Crucio."

Alice stiffened next to her. She could almost feel the spell herself. Alice's eyes were closed tight and her face was drawn in pain. She relaxed as the spell lifted and the thing looked at the pair of them.

"Tell me."

"NO!"

They had screamed it together. He just raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Dorcas.

"Another two days might make them change their minds."

He was gone from the room and Dorcas released them from the spell. Alice was panting and looked drained but she had moved straight to Lily.

"Are you okay?"

Lily just nodded and tried to stand. Her legs almost gave way instantly.

"Dorcas is there anymore water?"

She could feel the moister on her mouth but things were going out of focus and everything went blank…

Lily opened her eyes, or at least she thought she had. Everything was dark again.

"Alice?"

"I'm here don't worry."

She could feel the body of the woman next to her. Gently Lily reached over and wrapped her arms around the woman.

"Alice I'm scared."

"I know me too."

"Nobody's going to come for us are they?"

"I think we're on our own."

"Has Dorcas brought us our wands?"

"No."

They were stranded on their own again without wands. Lily knew that soon enough they would be facing Voldemort again. Every inch of her body didn't want that. Scraping sounded again and Alice clung to her as much as she was clinging to her.

A soft beam of light entered the room and Lily made out the figure of a woman. Yes a woman, Dorcas.

"Alice?"

"Dorcas?"

"Yeah, listen I have the wands for you."

Alice had stood up and moved over to the woman. Lily still couldn't see as they were in darkness.

"Look take these as well."

"But you're not scheduled to give memories for another month."

"When you get out of here, it could be it for me."

"Well then we'll wait to be rescued."

"No Alice you need to get her out of here. I'll be fine I'm good at what I do. But it'll mean we'll all be watched, especially me. I won't be able to make contact until March maybe even April."

Lily thought she could see the pair of them hugging but maybe it had been a trick of the eye.

"Keep safe okay Dor."

"Yeah and you say hello to Frankie from me."

They were silent for a moment and then the door was beginning to close.

"You've only been back here for three hours. It's late and everyone's gone home, well almost everyone. You have to get outside before you can apparate. So go up the stone stairs. When you reach the top take the door on your left. Follow the passage until you come to the end. Then you have to go left and the third door on the right will lead you to the gardens."

"Thanks Dor."

"I love you Allie."

"I love you too Dor."

Then they were in darkness again. A small beam of light appeared and then Lily felt the wand in her own hand. She lit her own and looked sideways at Alice. There were small tears running on her face.

"Alice are you okay?"

"Yeah, I hope she'll be okay."

"Umm… Are you two related?"

Lily didn't know if she was being ignorant but there were a lot of families broken up all over the place. Plus the way they had said goodbye made her sure they were more than just friends.

"Yeah she's my oldest sister."

"I didn't know you had sisters."

"Yeah there's Dorcas, then there was Crystal. She was killed a month before Larry. They killed her daughter Danielle as well, she was only one."

"I'm sorry."

They were silent for a moment and then Alice was speaking clearly again.

"Can you walk?"

Lily stood up and nodded into the light. They moved over to the door and Alice muttered the spell causing it to unlock. Quietly and gently they walked out onto the stone corridor. Slowly they made it up the stone steps and took the left door.

There were small torches on the walls but all was silent. Lily was shattered she needed to rest. Her movement was slow and she was waddling like a large duck. They got down the passageway without much trouble and then turned left.

They were nearly out Lily could feel it; they passed the first two doors. Then reaching for the door she heard it. Somebody had exited a room and screamed. A spell came hurtling towards them. She spun in time to see Dorcas hit the man with something.

Unfortunately for Dorcas her timing had been out and Voldemort had seen her. Alice's scream warned the woman and she looked up at the man who had thought her a loyal servant. Her head turned towards them and Lily saw her mouth at them to get out.

Then she ran at Voldemort flinging curses as she went. It however was no good. Without a blink the evil vile creature had screamed the most forbidden words in the wizarding world.

"Avada Kedavra."

Alice had screamed as Dorcas fell to the floor. Lily's eyes were wide. Grabbing hold of the grief-stricken girl she dragged her out onto the grounds. Lily was extremely lucky that she had been almost out of the door anyway.

Voldemort was on them though. Without looking back Lily grabbed Alice and shook her.

"Think of the forest."

The woman nodded a little as Lily held tightly to her arm. Then using the last of her strength managed to get the two of them away. As they left a ringing in her ears was the only evidence of how angry Voldemort truly was.


	33. Thirty Three

Chapter 33

Rain was bouncing off the ground while a wind howled through the trees. Lily stood in the clearing of the Forbidden Forest holding Alice closely to her. The older woman allowed her tears to run freely while the younger tried to comfort.

As they stood there Lily became aware of how improperly dressed they were. Alice had on what once were a simple pair of trousers and a jumper while she was in what was left of the skirt and blouse from the party. Both of them though were now practically in rags and were shaking from the experience and cold.

She knew that they had to get moving and so gently guided Alice through the clearing. It was a long and difficult task for her. Both were shattered and lacking energy. Many times did they have to stop before Lily saw the clearing of the forest. Drawing out her wand she made Saphine appear and sent her to Albus.

Carefully then the two followed the path up the grounds towards the large castle. As they reached it the doors were flung open and Lily found herself looking at Frank. The man was pale and unshaven, under his eyes were large black bags showing a lack of sleep. His movement though was as quick as ever, he had hold of Alice within seconds.

Lily watched as he clung to the woman he loved. Part of her wished that there was somebody to hold her like that again. Frank drew the woman inside and Lily just watched. It seemed that he had forgotten she was there but she couldn't blame him for that. Slowly she walked into the entrance hall. As she made it inside she began to sway. Her body was shutting down she needed rest.

As she toppled a strong pair of hands grabbed her. She looked up and saw hazel eyes filled with worry. Then everything went blank and she fainted…

* * *

Lily opened her eyes slowly. Darkness engulfed her. Out of instinct she threw her arms to either side.

"Alice?"

"It's alright."

Alice hadn't answered. The voice was raspy and filled with emotion.

"Where am I?"

"Hospital wing in Hogwarts."

Her eyes were adjusting now; a small sliver of moonlight was finding its way through the glass windows. Turning her head she spotted the man sitting so close to her. He had one elbow resting on the bedside table. His head was resting in that hand. He was slowly spinning the other hand around, a pair of glasses held in them. He was worried she had learnt that trait of his.

"What happened?"

Slowly he leaned forward and placed his glasses back onto his nose. His face though didn't turn towards her just continued to stare out in front.

"You fainted."

"I know that much. I meant on the day I was taken."

Silence floated between them a high tension there. Slowly his face turned and she could see that he didn't want to tell her. But then he sighed.

"Death Eaters attacked the Black Bludger. It appears that Voldemort must have thought there'd be Order members inside. Or maybe he just wanted a high profile hit. You were there Lily you saw the mess on it."

"Did anybody die?"

He stopped and seemed to stiffen a little before he continued.

"There were a lot of people there Lily. You must understand that."

She nodded and he continued.

"Caitlyn's dead."

Her body began to shake. She didn't need to know anymore. She heard the sobs leave her own body and was shocked by it. As she lay there crying she felt the bed beside her lower. Then a strong pair of arms came around her. Turning she put her head onto his shoulder and let the tears continue…

* * *

A minuscule amount of light was breaking through the window. Lily gently opened her eyes leaving the dream world behind. Things slowly began to focus and a surprise met her eyes. She had her head resting against James' shoulder. He was still asleep with his arm gently wrapped around her waist.

Movement down the wing caused her to turn her head slightly. Albus was stood there watching her. A smile played on his face and he moved to sit in the chair that James had occupied during the night.

"Morning Lily."

"Good morning Albus."

"I believe we have much to talk about."

She nodded gently as not to wake James. The elder man smiled down at him.

"Yes we must let him rest. Hasn't had a wink of sleep since you disappeared. Blames himself."

"Why?"

"He was close enough to have grabbed you. It wouldn't have done any good mind. No the three of you would have just vanished. But James is a proud man and doesn't like to lose anything. Especially the woman that he loves."

She could feel herself blush but ignore it as Albus continued.

"I need to know what happened when you arrived at … what I'm guessing was Voldemort's hideaway."

"Of course. We were locked in a … well a dungeon I would probably describe it as. It was a cell that we couldn't leave. Our wands were missing and it was total darkness. Apparently we were down there for two days before anything happened."

"Apparently?"

"Dorcas said it was two days. Then they dragged us out and Dorcas gave us bread to eat and slipped us some water. Then Voldemort was there. He used the Cruciatus curse on the pair of us. Then when we still wouldn't give him information he told Dorcas to lock us up for another two days."

Her body trembled at the memory of the curse but she didn't take her eyes off the professor's.

"She brought us our wands and told us how to get out. Oh and she gave Alice some memories."

He nodded at this and she continued.

"We got to the exit without trouble but then there was someone there. They screamed and flung a curse at us, completely missed mind. But Dorcas took him out. The thing is sir, Voldemort saw her. She's dead. She gave us enough time to escape."

He nodded and looked down the hall. Lily guessed Alice too was tucked up in a bed.

"We had to give her a sleeping drought to get her to rest. Frank was just as bad; I slipped one into his drink."

She smiled at him gently and he stood up looked down at them.

"You have some tough choices ahead of you Lily. But rest ashore that you will always have somebody that loves you nearby."

His eyes were sparkling as he headed off down the wing. She was confused by what he meant with the tough choices. But in that moment she didn't really care as she gently placed her head back on James' shoulder. She knew that she didn't belong here with him but for the moment she could just pretend.

* * *

So I decided to try and make you all a little happier. James is now back in the picture. But question is for how long? No I'm kidding he's back for good. But there are some choices she still needs to makes. 


	34. Thirty Four

Chapter 34

James was beginning to stir. Slowly she lifted her head from his shoulder and caught his eyes opening. His face went into a frown at first but then he smiled sitting up.

"What time is it?"

"A little after one."

"In the afternoon!"

She nodded as he pulled himself off the bed. Gently he lowered himself into the chair beside her and she just grinned.

"What you smiling about?"

"Albus said that you needed to sleep."

He shook his head gently and she looked back at him.

"Who else died?"

His head shot up and his eyes were on hers. They were clouding and she knew that he didn't want to remember it. But he did remember he sat there a moment before speaking up.

"The doorman Ethan, he's dead as is George the barman."

Lily nodded at him as he looked straight into her eyes.

"Ryan was killed, as was Robbie Clarkson and Tabby Carter from Wigtown. Then the bats lost Janine O'sullivan and Jason O'Reilly."

She cut across him suddenly.

"Wait did every team lose someone."

He nodded before continuing.

"Yeah its like the Magpies only lost Simon Harper and the Kestrels lost Janet O'Neill you know the one married to John Jones of Puddlemere. He's dead too mind, as is Kathleen Walters, Paul Pratt and Todd Pipes."

"What about the Harpies and the Arrows, they're the ones I knew the best."

"Jack Shadow he was killed, and so was Zack Thomas. Bobby Hardwick is in St. Mungos but he doesn't look good. Well as for the Harpies they lost Holly and Clint was killed too. Sian Goodman is gone as is the new keeper Amanda Smyth. Oh and you know Delia's husband Stuart, he was killed as well."

She began to cry now as she heard of so many of her friends gone. She couldn't believe it not one bit and having Lyn taken from her as well.

"Did we lose any Aurors?"

"No it was the Order that turned up not the ministry."

She nodded slowly as the tears ran down her cheeks. James moved from the chair and was sat next to her. His finger brushed at her cheek rubbing away her tears.

"I thought I'd lost you."

She lifted her head to look at him.

"I'm not yours to lose James."

He nodded gently as his thumb continued to stroke at her cheek. Then ever so slowly his face was coming closer to hers. His lips brushed against hers for a moment before coming to rest there. She let him kiss her. It was gentle not filled with the passion she knew it could be.

As he pulled back she watched his face.

"I've been stupid Lily."

"What?"

"I don't care if you're carrying another mans baby, you're my baby. What I mean is I love you and I always have. I know things aren't perfect and that we didn't plan it to be like this but I want you. I want you more now Lily than I ever did. When I thought you'd gone for good I just kept thinking that I was a prat for not realising sooner."

"But James I've told you I come with a package."

"Yeah and I'll love the baby too. Okay maybe at first it will be awkward because it isn't mine but blood isn't everything Lily. I love you and don't want to lose you ever again and I'll cope with the baby."

"No James you shouldn't have to. This is my responsibility and I'll do it alone."

"Tell me you don't love me."

"What?"

"You heard me Lily. Tell me that you don't love me. Look me in the eyes and say it and then I'll go. I'll leave you to raise the baby."

She let her eyes meet his and then shook her head.

"I can't James."

"Exactly you love me, and I love you."

He took her hands in his raising them to his chest.

"I can't go back and change things Lily I know that. But I want to start afresh. I want it to be you, me and this baby as a family."

"But –"

"But nothing Lily say yes, say that you'll give me a chance to prove that we belong together."

She stared into his eyes seeing all the hope in there. This was it she knew it. This was her second chance for happiness. She couldn't just throw it away but if she said yes things would be difficult.

"James I need you to understand something first."

"What is it?"

"This isn't going to be easy. I mean if we do this then that's it. This is full on commitment. You can't take on this child and then decide you'd rather be off doing something else. The child won't understand."

"I know –"

"I haven't finished yet. This is a big change for me. I mean I've always been selfish and it's been about me but it can't be like that anymore. I have to settle down and be a mother even if I don't think I'm ready for it. But James it's different for you. You don't have to play the dad; you don't need to settle down."

"I'm ready to settle down Lily."

"You can't know that."

"Yes I do. I was ready to settle down when we were finishing Hogwarts. I was planning to ask you to marry me as soon as we graduated. I'm not going to be foolish now Lily. I mean I'm not going to ask you to marry me yet. We need to get things sorted, see how we are together. But please don't just throw me away because you think I can't settle down. I've played the field so to speak for the last three years and nothing is as good as you are."

The way he was speaking made her believe what he was saying was true. She had no doubt that he was speaking from the heart.

"It's going to be difficult though James."

"I know but I want to do this."

She smiled gently as she grabbed hold of his top. Slowly she drew him towards her and they kissed, sealing the deal they had just made.

* * *

Sorry its been a while since I updated. My internet has been down for the last week. But its sorted now. Hopefully there'll be another post on the weekend, and one more before Egypt (week tomorrow!) 


	35. Thirty Five

Chapter 35

The next month was more a blur than anything else for Lily. She remained in the hospital wing of the school for three days before Madam Pomfrey released her. She hadn't realised but there was a lot to be done in a very short amount of time.

Everyday for the next month there was a funeral that she had to attend. She sat through the services held for Robbie Clarkson and Tabby Carter. She was there for the funeral of Janine O'Sullivan and Jason O'Reilly. She said goodbye to Simon Harper and with Sirius at her side attended the joint funeral of Janet O'Neill and her husband John Jones.

That funeral had been hard to sit through what with the fact Jones was a Puddlemere player just like Sirius. It didn't get any easier with the funerals of Kathleen Walters, Paul Pratt or Todd Pipes. Lily sat in the pews with James as Sirius stood up to give speeches.

Then following that were the funerals for the Arrow players. She found herself sat with Gideon as they said goodbye to the players she had become so use to seeing at games and in social events. Zack Thomas was the first they said goodbye to followed by Jack Shadow. The team did have a small amount of joy felt though when Bobby Hardwick pulled through although he would never fly again.

The next funeral was for Holly and Clint. Lily had sat in the pew with the Harpies team, which was now reduced to Emma, Kat and a grieving Delia. She had sat in tears as she remembered all the times she had spent with the pair. What their wedding had been like and just the amount of laughs they had shared.

The next of the Harpies to be buried was Sian. Again Lily was with the girls as they remembered all the good times Sian had provided them with. Lily even went up and said a few things. The next funeral had been tough with them having to bury Stuart. Lily had sat in the pews holding his son Jacob while Delia cried her eyes out. Then they had had to say goodbye to Amanda who although being the new girl had fitted in so well.

The hardest funerals for Lily though were the last ones. The two that she herself had organised. Ryan and Lyn had no family. Ryan's family had been killed in the November by Death Eaters and Lyn's mum had died when she was a child and her father had followed when they were in their fifth year of Hogwarts.

Ryan's funeral was a day earlier than Lyn's and as the day progressed Lily found it difficult. His remaining team mates spoke in the ceremony and carried the coffin out to the ground. That night Lily had laid in bed tears flowing down her cheeks.

The morning came too early for her. Turning she whacked the alarm clock to stop it beeping. Slowly she flung her legs from under the covers and looked at the date on the calendar. Eighteenth February. It was circled in a red circle and inside were two sentences, Lyn's birthday, Lyn's funeral.

Lily stood up and moved to her wardrobe. She pulled out a plain black dress. Looking inside it seemed that black was now the only colour she had, she had been wearing it for so long. She slipped into the dress as she pushed the flat shoes on her feet.

It was only just past nine o'clock but she knew she was home on her own. She didn't care though. Slowly she made her way down the stairs. It was difficult what with the fact she had just reached the seven month mark of her pregnancy a few days earlier.

As she got to the living room a small squeak left her lips. Inside sat the coffin of her best friend. She had forgotten that it was going to be brought to her house after all Ryan's had gone to a team mates.

All thought of breakfast left her as she stood in the doorway looking at it. She couldn't move. It seemed small, should it really be that small? A pop sounded through the silent house but still she didn't take her eyes from the box.

"Lily, Merlin what's that doing here?"

She finally broke contact with it to look at Sirius who was stood there looking at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to get you; you were suppose to be at our place twenty minutes ago. James is going frantic he can't get his suit to sit properly so I said I'd get you. But what's that doing here?"

"Where else could it go?"

He fell silent as if realising for the first time that Lily was Lyn's family. She felt his arm come to rest on her shoulder and he nodded.

"Come on lets go into the kitchen and you can sit down."

"No."

"Lily –"

"No I can't leave her again."

He was silent and then she heard him swear under his breath.

"Fine look you stay here. I'm going to get the guys and then we'll take the coffin to the church for you."

His pop told her he'd gone but she didn't care. Slowly she moved over to the coffin and looked at the small bronze plaque on it.

Caitlyn Sanders

Born 18th February 1955

Died 16th January 1978

"Lyn I'm sorry. I should have done something to help you. I wish that I could have but I was too slow. I miss you so much already and I'm scared Lyn really scared. In two months I'm going to have this baby and you're not here. And then there's James. I wish I could speak to you about him but –"

Four pops sounded and she stopped talking. She just placed her hand onto the coffin. She knew that tears were running down her cheeks but she couldn't stop them. Lyn had been there with her for twelve years since that first train ride to Hogwarts.

"Lily."

James' voice was soft. His hand rested around her and she leaned onto his chest. She still couldn't force herself to look away from the coffin of her best friend. It was strange to hear voices and she was startled by Peter.

"Come on its nearly ten we better take the Portkey."

They placed the small book that contained the hymns for the service on top of the coffin. Lily watched as each man took hold of one of the handles on the coffin. She knew that as long as the pamphlet remained on the coffin they would all go. As she kept her palm on the wood she felt the tug on her stomach.

They reappeared outside the church. Instantly flashes of light went off around them as photographers snapped at them. James lowered the coffin with the others and looked around. He nodded at the boys and Lily watched as he disappeared into the church.

A few moments later Gideon, Frank and Fabian were outside with them. Lily watched silently as Remus stood in the front on the left hand side with Peter and Fabian behind him, then opposite him stood Sirius, Frank and Gideon. The six men slowly began to walk into the church. James' arm wound around Lily's shoulder they followed them with Kat, Delia and Emma.

Inside everyone was stood up looking at them. Lily spotted her old school friends Stephanie, Louise and Kayleigh among the crowd. Then there were all those Quidditch players that had survived the attack. She noted also that many of the Order members had turned up, even those she was sure had never met Lyn along with Aurors and Healer friends of Lily's.

As she reached the front of the church she moved into the pew after Delia, Kat and Emma. James was on the outside but she would easily be able to make her way to the front of the church. They started with a hymn and then the priest stepped forward.

"My friends it is yet another sad day for the Wizarding world and the sport of Quidditch. We are here today to lay our sister Caitlyn Sanders to rest. Caitlyn was a strong woman with a good head on her shoulders. She knew what she believed and she stood by those even if it meant that she was in danger. Today we are going to hear from those that knew her best."

Emma climbed to her feet and moved out past Lily and James. She was extremely pale as she stood in front of everyone.

"Caitlyn was a friend. She was a good woman with a large heart. She was always opinionated and would speak her mind. She was a fine woman who was always up for a laugh. I've never met anybody like her, she was dedicated to everything that she tried. I think that her best quality was the fact that she never let you down. If you were her friend she would do anything for you. I will always remember her before a game when she would be smiling and singing to herself. Always cheery with the belief that we could win and that always spurred us on. We've lost somebody great and I know as a team we'll find her hard to replace but as a friend it will be impossible."

Lily stared ahead as Emma pushed past her to take her seat again. The team had decided that they would each speak at one of their team mate's funerals and Emma had been made the one at Lyn's.

From behind her a small hubbub was drawing attention as Sirius stood up and made his way to the front. Lily guessed that it was probably their old school peers. It was the fact that Sirius and Lyn had never gotten on and it was only after Hogwarts that they became civil to one another.

"Caitlyn, Caitlyn, Caitlyn. Anybody that knew her at school wouldn't have believed that she would become what she did. I still remember that first flying lesson when she fell from her broom. I mean who would have thought she would be one of the worlds best Beaters. I bet that only a handful of you knew that Caitlyn had made the England team. She and I were going to be on the same side again, I was quite looking forward to that."

He looked around and smiled as his eyes landed on the coffin.

"We hated each other did Cate and me. She always use to hex me when I called her that. You see Cate and I went to school together, both Gryffindors and beaters together when Gideon was thrown off, but we don't talk about that incident. But we never gelled there was always something between us. I'll admit that I thought she was an ugly know it all, but that changed. When she was in the air she was the most beautiful thing. All that self-consciousness that haunted her on the ground would disappear and she'd become herself."

He sighed gently causing Lily to look up.

"I consider myself lucky because I was given the chance to get to know Cate. I saw her grow up from that ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. When she left Hogwarts she really did find herself. She became a strong independent woman that all the other women wanted to be. She was liked by everyone who met her, you couldn't hate her. I was lucky enough to date her once and see the woman behind the persona and she was just as beautiful."

"I was there that night I witnessed the act that has taken so many of our best players from us. But before that happened I watched Cate and I can tell you she was happy. I've never in twelve years seen her happier than she was that night. She had found love and it suited her. Cate you lived each and every day to its fullest, enjoying what was given to you. It is my belief that this woman was an example to all of us; we should enjoy what we have and not worry about tomorrow. Rest in peace Sanders."

Lily couldn't believe it, he tapped the coffin. It was as if he was tapping her. She had seen him do that to her many times, but to her coffin. Sirius was just a man of his own, but Lily had to admit what he said was beautiful and if Lyn could have heard him she would have tapped him back, and probably have hexed him for calling her Cate.

Slowly Lily began to pull herself to her feet and walked up to the front. She was huge now and waddling more and more everyday. As she reached the spot she turned and looked at all the faces gathered. A flash went off in the back but she held herself.

"Lyn was my best friend, my sister. We met on that first train ride to Hogwarts that we've all taken. She was very different back then. I'd never met anybody as shy as she was. She couldn't even look me in the eye when we were talking. But over our time there we grew closer and closer. When her father died in our fifth year it was me she turned to."

"Emma earlier said that Lyn knew who her friends were and stuck with them and that's something I'm ever so grateful for. When my world was falling apart when we left Hogwarts she was the only one to stick by me. All my other friends left and I've never heard from them since but she stayed and refused to leave."

"When Larry was taken from me in August Lyn was one of the first to comfort me. She though knew that I needed space and gave it to me, she was the one that went back to the flat and emptied it for me. When I found out about my pregnancy she was the one I turned to."

Lily could feel the tears leaving her eyes as she stood there.

"She wasn't the easiest person to get along with at times, her opinions often left her in trouble. But when you needed her she could be counted on. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next few months without her here. But I know she'll never be gone. She was such a big part of my life as well as in most of yours. She will always be here in our hearts and I'm thankful for that."

Slowly she turned and stepped next to the coffin of her friend placing her hand gently onto it.

"I love you Lyn and I miss you already. You better be good wherever you are now and keep an eye on me and the baby. I'll be seeing you again and when that day comes we'll have a lot to talk about."

Slowly Lily made her way back down to the pew as the men stepped forward to carry her outside. Lily followed behind with James and as the coffin was lowered into the grave she threw a single white lily onto the casket. A symbol of her friendship with Lyn.

Then she felt her legs begin to wobble as her head began to spin. She heard James call out her name but he sounded far away. Then everything went quiet as darkness engulfed her.


	36. Thirty Six

Chapter 36

Squeaking was all that she could make out. It was playing on her nerves. Why were there squeaks? Lily tried to open her eyes but they were too heavy. Her arms wouldn't move either, she felt all stiff. Panic began to surge through her. She had to move, she needed to move.

Slowly she fought on for movement. The more she tried the more drained she became. It was no good she couldn't move. She tried then to relax. She lay there still focusing on her breathing. That had to be a good sign; it meant she was still alive.

As her breathing began to become regular the squeaking sound changed. Whispering replaced it but she was unable to make out the voices or the words. It almost sounded foreign to her ears. It couldn't be right.

The whispering drained away slowly. She wondered what was happening. There was heavy breathing coming from close beside her but she couldn't pinpoint where. Once more she tried to open her eyes.

Everything was dark. Had she managed it? Then shapes started to focus and she realised it was night. She was in a bed that much she was sure of. She tried to call out but she couldn't her voice was but a strained whisper.

Movement from the corner of her eye drew her attention. There was somebody walking around. She tried to call again. The person stopped and looked at her bed, but then shook their head and moved on.

A snort startled her and she turned her head catching sight of the sleeping man. James was scrunched up in a chair. He had one arm covering his eyes while the other was tucked under his chin. A small smile played on her dry lips. With all the strength she could muster she knocked his legs off her bed.

"I was just thinking Sir."

He had sat up straight and was looking around. A small look of relief came to his face as he remembered he wasn't in work. He leaned back into the chair and picked his feet up onto her bed again. His eyes were already closed. Gently she managed to tap his leg again and he leaned forward.

She blinked as their eyes met and she was surprised when he jumped back.

"SHE'S AWAKE! SOMEBODY SHE'S AWAKE!"

He was jumping up and down on the spot almost as if he had never seen somebody wake up before. She was surprised when a door banged open and three people came running into the room. The lights around her bed sprung on and she was forced to blink while her eyes tried to refocus.

"Evans can you hear me?"

The voice was familiar. She didn't know why though. Her eyes were still not use to the bright light and she tried to look through it.

"Do you think that there's some kind of damage been done?"

"I don't know son, best to give us some space."

James was pushed back by the voice and she reached towards him trying to draw him close.

"Wait. Lily it's me. Do you know who I am?"

She wiggled her fingers at him. Why wouldn't he take her hand?

"Son I'm telling you step back."

"James."

It had been spluttered through what could have been a cough. She wasn't sure if she had actually spoken it or had just thought it. The light around her dimmed and she saw a familiar figure stood there.

"Did you say something?"

She smiled gently as she continued to wiggle her fingers.

"James."

It strained her throat saying it but the man smiled at her nodding. Finally a hand touched her fingers and she locked them not wanting to let go. She felt lips on the back of her hand but she kept her eyes locked with the mans.

"Now do you know who I am?"

She nodded slowly and mouthed the word, unable to actually speak anymore.

Eddie.

He smiled and she felt his lips on her forehead.

"Owens her memory seems to be okay."

Owens that's whose voice it had been. Carl Owen her old boss. But why was she here? She guessed here was the hospital. It didn't make much sense to her at all. She felt more than saw them move around her checking her body out.

Still she couldn't work out what was happening to her. The last thing she remembered was Lyn's funeral. It had been horrible and really hard but that surely couldn't have put her in hospital.

The lights went off over head but the one on the cabinet continued to shine. The healers left her and James alone. She had been almost unaware of how tight his grip on her hand was.

"You scared me again."

She turned her head slowly it was a little sore. Her voice had completely failed her now so she was reduced to mouthing her words.

Why.

"Why? Because you've been laying in that hospital bed for two weeks."

Her mind began to boggle. Two weeks it couldn't have been. How could it have been two weeks since Lyn's funeral? She couldn't understand what had happened. She felt James squeeze her hand and she let his eyes wander up to his.

"You fainted went down pretty hard. Peter tried to catch you but he slipped and you both ended up hitting your heads."

She made a little 'o' shape with her lips and saw a brief smile play on his features. She'd knocked herself out and it sounded like it had been a bad knock as well. She didn't know what to think to this and looking up into his eyes saw something new there. His eyes were soft and filled with love. But there was a sadness to them, a worry and yet relief all mixed into one.

How's Peter.

It didn't seem as if he had caught what she had tried to say. She looked around and then back at him watching as his eyes went to her mouth.

How's Peter.

"Oh Peter. He's alright. Complaining he's got a lump the size of a Quaffle on his head. Seems to think that Lyn planned it. Well you know with her sense of humour and all. But no he's alright its you we've all been worried about."

Why?

"You haven't woken up since it happened. Apparently you've had some sort of umm… coma I think was the word they used. But that doesn't matter anymore you're back."

She smiled watching as he moved from the chair onto the bed. His arms were wrapped around her and she felt safe. She felt his lips on her forehead and she leaned against him glad to be back.


	37. Thirty Seven

Chapter 37

Everything was quiet. Lily was flicking through some reports that she had to complete. Around her patients were complaining about this and that. The witch in the bed on her right was loudly complaining about the fact that all the healers were ugly to the woman in the bed the other side. Then the wizard in the bed on her left was complaining about the food they had been served.

She though was caught up looking through the reports. A lot had happened in two weeks. Since December she had been permanently stationed at the hospital. She was now in charge of the second year trainees. She was responsible for looking over all of their reports and making sure that they treated the patients correctly. Then when they needed help she was the one to provide it. It wasn't as fulfilling as working with the Aurors but she was helping.

Honestly she was trying to do anything to take her mind off the latest Quidditch news. She couldn't believe for starters that they had cancelled all world cup games. Well okay so all the Quidditch players were dead but still Quidditch doesn't stop for anything. Apparently though all games would be rescheduled for the following year. At least Sirius would happy with that.

The door opened and she heard muttering in the witch's bed. It seemed from the mumbles that the healer that had just walked in was one she approved of. Lily hadn't bothered to look up though so it was a slight surprise when her mattress went down at her feet.

She looked up and grinned at Eddie. He was holding a large bar of chocolate with a grin on his face.

"Its break time."

"I'm not in work though."

"Do you or do you not work at this hospital?"

She nodded a little.

"And are those reports from your trainees that you're checking?"

She couldn't believe it. Who had told him that she was catching up on two weeks worth of work?

"Who told you?"

"Jack Anderson."

"Oh he's going to be on bedpan duty until I go on leave."

"So not long then."

"What?"

"Lily its March, you're due in April. You're going to have to take your leave soon."

"Nah I'll just stay until it drops."

"And how will you treat patients? You're bump is so big I'm surprised you can see over it when you're lying down."

"Oh thanks and here I was thinking you were going to cheer me up a little."

"And what gave you that impression."

She shook her head at him placing the reports on the cabinet.

"Just hand the chocolate over."

He grinned snapping it in half and sharing it with her. The witch in the next bed was making grumbling noises now. Lily tried to ignore her and catch up with Eddie.

"So any news?"

"There was an attack a few days after Lyn's funeral."

"Where?"

"Leaky Cauldron."

"Merlin was everyone okay?"

"Except the Death Eaters yeah. I think they had a bit of a shock."

She pulled a face wondering what Eddie was on about. He began to grin and then to laugh but still he didn't say anything. Finally he seemed to catch his breath.

"It was Moody's birthday party."

She laughed. She could just picture the Death Eaters turning up expecting to make a mark and really do some damage only to find a room full of Aurors.

"Oh I wish I had seen that."

"I'll find a pensive and show you when you get out. Lily it was so funny. They burst through the door making these screaming sort of scary voices. Then we all turned around and they sort of stopped. Then they began to really scream and tried to run away. Best entertainment Moody's ever had."

"I bet. Did they catch any?"

He nodded. All humour left his face as he looked at her.

"Yep we got Shane Carter, Bertie Wrap and Dean Arnold."

"Arnold isn't he –"

"Yeah he is."

"What did they have to say about that?"

"They wanted to know how he'd forgotten about the party for a start."

The pair of them laughed. Arnold was an Auror who had been in the job for ten years. It wasn't really funny that he was a Death Eater but the fact that he had turned up to his boss's party dressed as one was.

"So what you doing here anyway?"

"Oh it's my turn."

She nodded as the muttering got louder from the bed next to her.

"Excuse me but will you stop muttering. He's married so back off."

She turned back to Eddie to see his eyes wide as he looked at her.

"Hormones playing up then?"

"I just want to go home."

"Yeah I sense that."

"You think as a healer myself they'd let me have a private room."

"What and miss out on the company of the fantastic patients."

Lily didn't have a chance to answer as the door to the ward burst open and Olivia Charles came running in. She skidded to a stop at the end of Lily's bed. She looked afraid and she was panting heavily.

"Healer Evans what do you do if a patient has a red swollen eyelid?"

Lily looked at the woman and shook her head.

"Are there any other symptoms first?"

"Yes."

Lily shared a look with Eddie who seemed to be biting his lips.

"And they are?"

"Oh you want me to tell you?"

"Well how else are you going to treat your patient?"

"She has an itching eye."

Lily shook her head try to keep herself composed.

"Has she started using new make-up?"

"How would I know?"

"Ask her Charles."

"Why?"

Lily was about to answer when Eddie stepped in.

"If she's changed make-up it could be an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients if not it could be Blepharitis"

"Oh so I better go ask her."

"Yes and then go and find Shore and ask for his help."

"But Evans is my supervisor."

"Yes and she's in hospital because she herself has had an accident. She's not on duty go find someone who is."

"Yes sir."

Lily watched her leave and as Eddie looked at her they both started laughing.

"Merlin Lily how do you cope in this place?"

"You spent more time here than I ever did."

"Yes but I was in the emergency department for the entire time I was here, and I had Quidditch to look forward to."

She shook her head as she bit into the chocolate. She needed this; her friends, she needed to smile. But most of all she couldn't wait until she could get back to her normal job in the ministry. Time was definitely dragging.

* * *

Two chapters wow you are lucky. No there's a reason for this and that's the fact there will be no more post until 20th April. I'm sorry but I'm heading off to Egypt in a little under five hours and I'm not back until the 20th.

So have a nice Easter everyone

Kris xx


	38. Thirty Eight

Chapter 38

"Are you comfortable?"

Lily wanted to scream. She'd had enough of this.

"I'm only pregnant not dying!"

"I only want you to be comfortable."

She looked into James eyes and sighed.

"Yes. So stop fussing."

He made a face but remained silent. A barking laugh though sounded through the air.

"What's so funny?"

Sirius sat straight up and stopped the laughter.

"It's just. Well. I've never seen anybody put James in his place before. I mean yeah people have tried but he's never listened before. It's so funny."

Lily looked sideways at James and then back at Sirius and laughed herself.

"Look I'm sorry. It's just I've got another week to go and I'm not allowed to leave the house and then to have someone fussing all the time well it's annoying."

James nodded as Peter came through from the kitchen. Lily had been allowed to go out for the first time since she'd been released from hospital. James had taken her to his place. Remus was out with Carly but Sirius and Peter had been playing a game of chess on the living room floor.

"Thanks Peter."

She took a glass of water happily from him as he settled back on the floor with Sirius to finish the game.

"Listen Lily I never got to apologise for what happened."

"Don't worry about it Peter. It wasn't your fault I was the one who fainted."

"Yes but I should have caught you."

"Yeah right Wormtail, you couldn't even catch a cold."

The man looked straight up at Sirius shooting him a killer look. James was snorting laughter but Lily looked at the blonde man.

"Don't listen to him Peter. He's just sour because Quidditch has been cancelled."

They were all quiet as Peter moved his bishop on the board. Lily wiggled in her seat and James seemed to catch it.

"Are you comfortable?"

She turned to him her eyes wide shaking her head slowly. He seemed to know instantly that he had said something wrong.

"Lily I just meant."

"Furnunculus"

James' eyes went wide as boils broke out over his face. Lily kept a straight face as she watched him. From the floor there were roars of laugher as Sirius and Peter wriggled around holding their sides.

Two pops sounded through the room and they all looked up to see Remus and Carly standing just inside the living room. Both started laughing as soon as they appeared and Remus seemed to be the first to catch his breath.

"Nice look James."

James though wasn't impressed; his eyes went straight to Lily.

"Very funny Lily."

"Well I told you."

"Yes fine okay. I get it you're sick of people worrying."

She nodded as he pulled his wand out and cleared his face in one swift movement. She however was now standing.

"I'm going to use your bathroom."

He nodded and she climbed the stairs. It was tiring just walking these days. She couldn't believe how fast the time was passing. It felt like only yesterday that it was February. Now March had been and gone and they had now reached the eleventh of April.

Lily pushed open the bathroom door closing it carefully behind herself. She was desperate for the toilet. As she finished though something happened. Her stomach gave a funny lurch and then it felt like the flood gates had opened.

Lily's eyes widened instantly. She knew what that was. This wasn't good. No it definitely wasn't good.


	39. Thirty Nine

Chapter 39

Lily couldn't move. Her chest was tight. This wasn't happening. Not now not here. No way she couldn't be having the baby yet.

"JAMES!"

She screamed his name louder than she had ever screamed anything. She didn't know what to do. She had been involved in labours before. In fact she had delivered twelve babies but she had never been in the position to be having one herself.

"JAMES!"

Where the hell was he? Why wasn't he coming to her? She was calling for him. She needed him. Not to deliver the baby by Christ she would not be letting him anywhere near in that way. She needed him to hug her and tell her this was okay that this was what happened.

Lily couldn't cope with this she was panicking. She began to search through her pockets until she managed to grab her wand.

"Sonorus"

Lily knew that her voice had now been enhanced so that everyone in the house would be able to hear her.

"JAMES!"

She screamed it knowing full well that this time he would hear her. After she had screamed it she put her wand back to her throat.

"Quietus."

The sound of feet pounding on the stairs grabbed her attention. Then there was a banging on the door to the bathroom.

"Lily what's wrong?"

"My waters broke James."

"What does that mean?"

"The baby's coming."

She heard him move from the door as he screamed for Carly and then he was back at the bathroom knocking on the door.

"Lily you have to open the door."

She was shaking but she managed to stand up and slowly made her way over to the door. She unlocked it and stepped back as James flung it open. His eyes were wide as he looked at her and then he was holding her as she leaned against him.

"What's going on?"

"Carly my waters just broke."

"Shit."

"Carly!"

"No Lily its fine. Okay James I need you to use Side-Along Apparition to take Lily to the hospital."

"What why can't she –"

"James look at her she's in no state to do it herself now get her to the hospital. I'll be there too."

Lily watched as Carly disappeared. James had his arm around her and she clung to it.

"You ready?"

"Yes"

She felt the pressure that was normal with this means of transport and then it lifted and she was in the hospital. Carly was stood there with Opal Matthews one of the healers who specialised in birthing.

"Oh Evans its you."

"Good to see you again Matthews."

"Have the contractions started."

"No, but my water has broken."

"Okay this way please."

She followed the woman into a private side room. This was one advantage she wouldn't have to share. She sat on the bed and clung onto James' hand. Matthews moved to the edge of the bed and began to check her over.

"Why is she looking there?"

"Because that's where the baby's going to come from James."

"But Lils why is she looking? I mean the baby isn't hanging out yet."

Carly chocked back a laugh from Lily's other side. Lily herself didn't know if she should laugh or hit him with something hard.

"5cm's Evans. Still a while to go."

She nodded as Matthews left. James had that quizzical look on his face again but Lily wasn't going to let him ask anymore questions.

"James do me a favour. Go to my parents' house and let them know what's happening."

"They can't come here though."

"I know but they should know. Tell them you'll go see them later to tell them what I have."

He nodded and left her there with Carly. The other healer smiled gently.

"Want me to get you anything?"

"Eddie."

The woman nodded and left Lily alone. Her mind was swimming with so much. This was it she was going to be a mother. Was she ready though? Short answer no. But she would have to get ready. For the first time in a few weeks she couldn't help but think of Larry. He should be there after all this was the birth of his first child, well his only child.

"Is the baby here yet?"

She looked at the door. Sirius was stood there with balloons. Some were pink and others blue. His eyes scanned the room as if trying to find the baby.

"No Sirius its not here yet."

"Oh but I want it now."

"Well you'll have to wait."

He opened his mouth to say something when somebody bumped into him and he fell into the room. Gideon was stood there with a toy broom and a baby grow from the Arrows baby range.

"Why you on the floor Black?"

"Oh I have no idea!"

"Right. So where's the little one then?"

"I haven't had it yet."

"Oh, well how long then?"

"I don't know!"

"You don't have to snap."

Lily could feel her face tense up as her eyes widened. This was all she needed now. The two men were looking around and she just wanted to get up and throw them out of the room.

"So how'd you know she was having it now?"

"Peter told me."

"Really?"

"Yes Sirius he did."

Lily let her head drop onto the pillow as they continued with the argument on whether or not Peter had told Gideon. Then suddenly she felt her skirt being lifted.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Sirius dropped the skirt and both men looked up at her trying to look very innocent. Gideon pulled a face before speaking.

"We just wanted to see if the baby was here yet."

"Who are you two?"

Lily was thankful for probably the one and only time to see Opal Matthews stood in the doorway.

"Oh I'm Gideon Prewett and this is Sirius Black."

"And is one of you the father?"

"NO!"

They had both yelled it causing the woman to jump slightly.

"Well in that case get out of here."

They both looked at each other, picked up their gifts and ran from the room.

"Thanks Matthews."

She nodded before checking on Lily again.

"Okay you're about 7cms now Evans. Have the contractions started."

"Yeah but they're not strong yet."

The healer nodded just as the door opened.

"Lily oh good I haven't missed it yet!"

"Eddie thank god its you I thought it might be Sirius or Gideon again."

As she said it a red head peered around the door at her.

"Is it here yet?"

"NO!"

He shrugged and was gone. Lily couldn't help but think it was going to be a very long day. The pain was starting and she knew that by the time the clock struck midnight she would be left holding the baby.

* * *

I'm spoiling you today. To make up for two weeks without post you get two. hope you like it, and Carly Gideon is there just for you! 


	40. Forty

Chapter 40

"Okay Evans I can see the head keep pushing."

Lily was shattered. She'd been in the hospital for three hours before she had reached 10cms. Eddie had been a star and had not once left her side since the contractions had started. James had stuck his head in at one point to see how she was but he knew this wasn't for him, not this time.

"Come on Lils just a little more."

"I can't. It hurts."

Tears were streaming down her face as the contraction ended. She needed another large push she knew it and they did. But she was exhausted and was unsure if she had another push in her. It was Gideon and Sirius' fault. They kept sticking their head around the door every five minutes asking if the baby was there yet.

"Okay Evans take a deep breath this is it."

"No, no I can't do it anymore."

"It's too late now it's almost over."

Opal Matthews was stood at the end of her bed. Her hands were under Lily's skirt holding the top of the baby's head giving it support as Lily was left in the final stages.

"Oh god here comes another one AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Come on Lils breath through the pain. Good now push if you do it now there won't be anymore pain hunny."

She pushed while trying to take in quick short breaths. She heard the click of the door and then a thump. She didn't look up though as she continued to push. Then with a scream she heard the unmistakable cries of a baby.

A grin spread to her face as she looked at Eddie. He hugged her gently and she felt his lips against her forehead.

"There's a girl."

Matthews had moved from the bed over to the corner to do some quick checks and clean the baby up. Now that the pain was beginning to pass she leaned forward to look at the floor and laughed.

"Looks like Gideon couldn't take the birth."

"Serves him right. I mean we'll tell them when the baby is born."

"Don't you think you should revive him?"

"No."

Eddie moved to the man and pulling his arms left him outside the room. Lily couldn't help but laugh lightly. After the stress and pain of the last three hours she needed something to smile at.

"Okay Evans' you ready to meet your daughter?"

Lily couldn't help but smile as Matthews moved towards her. She readied herself and the baby was placed gently into her hands. She couldn't stop smiling as she looked down at the little girl.

"She's gorgeous Lily."

"Yes she is."

Eddie was leaning over her and they both watched as the baby opened her blue eyes. Lily loved the colour of them but knew that they would likely change. She always loved that about being in the baby unit trying to guess what colour eyes the babies would be left with.

Lily gently moved her hand and ran her fingers over a tiny amount of soft blonde hair. Just like her father. Then with Eddie watching she gently touched each one of the fingers counting them and then the toes. Everything was perfect just as it should be.

The baby yawned gently and her mouth formed a perfect little 'o'. Eddie made a little sighing noise and the baby's head moved a little towards him. Lily's smile widened as the baby clamped her entire hand around one of Eddie's fingers.

"Oh Lily look."

"I can see. Looks like she likes her Uncle Eddie."

"Well her Uncle Eddie likes her."

There was a knock on the door and Sirius' head popped around.

"If I ask if the baby is here yet are you going to do to me whatever it was you did to him?"

Lily laughed gently and looked up at the man.

"I didn't do anything to him; he just happened to see the birth and fainted."

Sirius barked a laugh and then looked up at her.

"Wait the baby's here?"

She nodded and the door slammed shut. The tiny wailing of the baby's cries echoed through the room. Gently Lily tried to calm her. It wasn't long before the baby was silent in her arms just blinking up at her.

The door opened again and James was stood there. He smiled gently and walked into the room.

"How are you?"

"Tired."

He nodded and kissed Lily gently on the forehead. She could tell that he was looking down at the tiny baby wrapped up in blankets in her arms.

"James I'd like you to meet my daughter, and baby this is your Uncle James."

"Hello baby."

Lily couldn't help but smile as her eyes once more went to her baby. She'd done it. Done what she had at one stage thought impossible. She'd managed to have the baby. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe they could magically remove the smile plastered on her face because it wasn't leaving otherwise.


	41. Forty One

Chapter 41

Lily looked at the small crib that the baby had been placed in at the side of her bed. Her eyes were closed tight and she looked completely at peace. James was sat on the chair on her other side staring at her as well. Lily spoke up gently.

"What you thinking?"

"Larry would be really proud."

She smiled and turned away from the baby to look at him.

"Yeah I know. He always wanted a daughter. Said that he would spoil her rotten and she'd be his little princess."

"That sounds about right."

"I wish he could have seen her."

"But he is right."

"What?"

"Heaven. Don't you believe that people go to heaven?"

"Yeah the good people."

"Well Larry was defiantly a good person."

She nodded and turned to look at her again before back to James.

"I can't believe that I have a baby."

"Well Gideon can't believe that she fitted out."

Lily laughed gently as a knock sounded on the door. Remus' head peered around it and she waved him in.

"Lily, congratulations."

He waved a small little pink bear at her and she clapped happily.

"Oh look at that babe. You're first teddy and it's from your Uncle Remus."

Remus smiled as he looked over the basket.

"She's tiny."

"No she's not. If she was any bigger she would have been staying in."

James laughed and she turned to look at him.

"Sorry."

He shrugged still smiling to himself.

"I can't stay long Lils. I've got a job to do."

She didn't need to ask what it was. She was sure it was something for Dumbledore. He gently kissed her forehead and nodded at James.

"I'll come and see you soon Lily."

She nodded and as he left Peter came in with Carly. The two were silent as they moved over towards them. Peter was holding a basket filled with different fruits.

"I thought I'd bring something for you since everyone else would bring things for the baby."

"That's so sweet Pete."

He leaned over the crib and back up at Lily.

"She's beautiful. She has your nose."

"Well that's probably good since Larry had a massive one."

"Yeah the girl would have been using a glamour on herself by the time she was sixteen to hide her nose if it was like Larry's."

Peter was smiling gently. Then his eyes widened a little as he caught the time.

"Oh shit. Crispin has a meeting with Crouch at eight, I promised that…"

His voice faded as he remembered that Carly was in the room. Lily smiled as he shook his head and ran from the room.

"Funny man that one."

She looked at Carly and nodded.

"Yeah well that's Pete for you."

Carly just nodded as she looked at the baby.

"How much is she?"

"You can't buy her Carly! If you want one you'll have to speak nicely to Remus."

James was smirking but Carly just shot him one of her looks and turned back to Lily.

"So how much?"

"Oh she's 7lbs 3."

Carly nodded looking back at the baby.

"Eddie said it was an easy birth."

"There's no such thing Caz."

"Okay well there were no complications."

"Well almost none."

The dark haired woman shot Lily a look. Lily just smiled gently.

"Sirius and Gideon."

"Yes they are complications."

"I know. I mean I need more than five minutes to give birth."

Carly laughed looking at James a moment and then back to Lily.

"You know what though. He's sworn off girls for life now."

"What? Why?"

"Apparently now he's seen what giving birth looks like, he never wants to go never a woman again."

Lily laughed lightly as James snorted.

"Bet that lasts about a month at the most."

Carly nodded looking at her watch.

"I have a shift starting in ten minutes. But before I go you have to open my present."

Carly handed over a funnily wrapped gift and Lily took it gently. She ripped the paper and instantly burst out laughing.

"Caz these are fab!"

"What did she get you?"

"A pair of ear plugs –"

"For when the baby is crying all night."

Lily smiled as Carly nodded her head in a bobbing dog kind of way a smile spreading up her face.

"Yeah and a badge."

She held up a badge for James to look at. It was a black background with white lettering. It started by saying I'm not mean and then that would disappear and was replaced by I'm a mum. James laughed lightly.

"Isn't that the same thing?"

Lily opened her mouth in mock outrage but Carly was nodding.

"Yeah that's why I bought it."

He just nodded as Lily picked up the last present. James snorted and pointed at them.

"Knitting needles? Carly she's had a baby not turned a hundred."

"Mothers need to knit. My mother always said so."

"Thanks Caz you always make me laugh."

"Well that's my job."

"Don't tell Sirius he'll have you for nicking his job."

Carly shot James another look before leaving for work.

"Nice girl that one."

"Oh come on James Carly is brilliant."

"Now you sound like Remus."

Lily stuck her tongue out at him before yawning.

"Oh you're tired. I'll leave you get some sleep."

She nodded but before James had moved Sirius and Gideon had come back in.

"She's going to be an Arrows supporter."

"No a Puddlemere supporter."

"Lawrence Matthews' daughter will not be supporting Puddlemere; she'll support the team her father played for."

"Well publicly when she's asked of course she'll have to say Arrows. But she's of course going to be a supporter of the team her favourite uncle plays for."

"Yeah so the Arrows."

"You are not being her favourite uncle Prewett I am."

"Yeah right. I was Larry's best mate of course I'm going to be her favourite uncle."

"No your not. I am!"

"Will you both quit it?"

Lily closed her eyes leaning back onto her pillow.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Sirius she's tired."

"Well then she should go to bed earlier."

Lily tried to ignore him. She didn't know why maybe it was her hormones but she was ready to slap Sirius one.

"No Black she's just pushed that little girl out. You'd be tired too if you'd done that."

"If I'd done it it would be a miracle."

The soft sound of crying erupted into the room. Lily opened her eyes gently and looked towards her daughter.

"Oh come here to Uncle Gideon."

He was holding her before Lily could react. She didn't know what she thought of that. Nobody else had held her except for Matthews. But the crying quietened as he swayed her gently. Lily couldn't help but watch him.

"How'd you do that?"

"Practice."

"Oh are you trying to show off Prewett, that's easy watch this."

Lily watched as Sirius had taken hold of the little girl and bounced her gently. She started to cry a little louder.

"Not so easy is it?"

"She's broken."

"No she's not. Pass her here I'll stop her."

"No I'll do it."

Lily watched in horror as Sirius swung his arm a little too far back and the baby slipped. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. Her baby was going to die and it was because of Sirius Bloody Black.

Then time seemed to return to normal just as James stretched out flat on his back on the floor catching her.

"Padfoot! Watch what you're doing. Now you've seen her get out."

"But Prongs –"

"But nothing go!"

He pulled a face and waving at Lily left. She was frozen though, she couldn't move. Her heart was pounding as she watched James cradle her daughter.

"I'm going to head off as well. Now James before I go, you want to bend your arm a little more like that. Yep and keep supporting her head. There that's perfect."

"How do you know that Gid?"

"Molly has three. I mean you can't be a baby's favourite uncle if you can't hold it."

He waved at Lily and left. She looked at James standing there all awkward holding the baby.

She couldn't help but smile. It fitted. James looked right holding a baby, her baby. Things were looking up she was sure of that now.


	42. Forty Two

Chapter 42

Lily could hear a muffled crying. She didn't want to open her eyes. Her dream had been great. Larry had been there holding the baby and they were a family. But she knew it wasn't real. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked into the darkened room.

"Shh come on baby stop crying for your Uncle James. Oh please come on your mummy needs some sleep. Why won't you stop crying?"

"She probably needs a feed."

His head spun up to look at her and there was a small smile.

"Oh you're awake."

"Yeah how long was I out?"

"Only about two hours."

She nodded gently looking at James.

"Well you better pass her over so I can feed her."

"Do you want me to go get some food for her then?"

Lily raised an eyebrow as he gently handed her the baby.

"You're kidding right?"

He didn't react so she guessed he wasn't. Slowly she unclipped the shoulder of her top and let it drop down to her now flatter stomach.

"What are you doing?"

"Watch."

Using only one hand she fiddled around with her bra until it came undone. Then as tenderly as she could she enticed the baby until she took the feed. It was the weirdest sensation she had ever felt but she tried not to move. She watched the baby amazed by the fact that this precious thing was really hers.

Finally she managed to tear her eyes away from the infant to look at James. His eyes were wide and it seemed that it had just dawned on him what babies ate. His eyes were focused on the baby suckling and Lily could see him shaking his head a little.

"Are you okay James?"

"So I've actually got to share you with the baby then."

"What?"

"Well I mean I knew things were going to be different now. But I wasn't expecting to have to take a turn to spend time with your body."

"Oh shut up."

He grinned lowering himself into the chair next to her bed.

"I thought you'd be going home anyway."

"I was going to when she started crying. So we went for a little walk up and down the corridor so that you could get a little bit more rest."

"You know you're a natural with her."

"No I'm not."

The baby pulled away and Lily looked at her. She opened and closed her mouth a few more times and then closed her eyes.

"She's sleeping again?"

"Yeah it's what babies do."

"So all they do is sleep and eat."

"Yeah and fill their nappies."

"Okay so how long until she's potty trained and on proper food?"

"Why?"

"Just asking."

She smiled as James stood up and went to pick her up.

"What you doing?"

"I was going to put her in the crib. We need to talk about a few things."

She allowed him to take the baby. He was very tender and gentle with her. He had his hand under her head and lowered her slowly and carefully into the crib. Then he fussed with the blankets for a while before standing up. He had a small smile playing on his features.

He looked back at her and his smile increased as he raised an eyebrow. Lily looked down at herself and quickly pulled her top back up. He put on a fake pout as he lowered himself onto the bed next to her. His arms wrapped around her and she felt at ease resting against him.

"She's beautiful you know."

"Yeah just like her father."

"I was thinking more like her mother. She has your mouth, your nose and her eyes are the same shape as yours. She's going to be trouble when she's older."

"Oh really and why's that?"

"Because she's going to be as beautiful as you are. I think we're going to need her two favourite uncles to bring their beating bats home to keep the boys at bay."

"You know Gid is going to try and set her up with one of his nephews."

"Well Bill's too old he's already five and Charlie is three."

"Yes but Percy is only eight months older."

"Oh Gideon's on to a winner there already. A boy we'll be able to control."

"You really think you can control a Prewett."

"Ah but that's the beauty Lily. Percy's a Weasley."

She laughed gently as he held her closer still.

"Have you thought of any names yet?"

"Not really. I mean I knew that if it was a boy I was going to call him Lawrence but now."

"Well you could call her Lorie."

"Maybe but I was thinking that maybe I could use Larry's middle name."

"Why what was it? Sally?"

"No silly."

"Oh Silly, this girl is lucky."

"James stop it."

She tapped his arm gently looking at the crib.

"Samuel."

"You want to call her Samuel. Now Lily you do know that's a boy's name."

"It was Larry's middle name."

"Okay."

"Yeah so I was thinking that I might call her Sammie."

"That's nice."

"Yeah and I was thinking that maybe I'd give her a double barrel name."

"You mean like Evans-Potter"

"No I was thinking Sammie-Lynn"

They were both silent for a moment. She could hear James' breathing. His breathe played with her hair and then his voice sounded softly.

"Caitlyn would like that."

"Yeah I think she would."

"And Larry would agree."

"Thanks."

They were quiet again and Lily felt James move a little.

"Sammie-Lynn Potter I like it."

"Potter? No it's going to be Sammie-Lynn Evans."

"Potter sounds better."

"But she isn't a Potter."

"She would be if you let me adopt her."

Lily didn't know how to respond to that. How could she really?

"You want to adopt her?"

"I want her to be part of our family."

"What family? We're just dating James."

"I know but soon I'll be looking for a nice house that we can move into together. Then I'll be asking you to marry me and I want Sammie to be part of the family."

"You really want all that?"

"Of course. I love you Lily."

"I love you too James."

"Good. Now I want to be more than Sammie's uncle. I want her to look at me and think of me like a father."

"But you're not her father."

"I know and I'm not going to replace Larry. I mean when she's old enough we'll tell her all about him. But I want her to think of me as a father so that when our children are born she doesn't feel like she doesn't belong."

Lily felt like she wanted to cry. She'd never heard anything so beautiful in all her life.

"You've really thought about this haven't you?"

"Yeah for a while now. Will you let me?"

"I'd like that."

"Really?"

"Of course. I want you to be the father of all my children."

"Good, because I feel like a dad already."

She turned a little to look at James.

"What do you mean?"

"Well having to send Sirius away, taking her for a walk up and down the corridors. Having the nurses tell me that my daughter is beautiful. Then Lily she grabbed my finger in her whole hand, and it felt right. I mean it felt like she wanted me to take care of her. She needs me. Who else is going to protect her from Sirius and Gideon, and get her supporting the Harpies?"

"She's going to have a wardrobe full of Quidditch shirts isn't she?"

He laughed lightly then leaned down towards her.

"This is how we're suppose to be Lily."

His lips were on hers and she loved the way it felt. He was right this was how they should be. It was always going to be her and James. As she kissed him back she knew in the back of her mind that no matter how much she loved Larry it wouldn't have worked out in the end, because she loved James.

"James."

"Umm."

"This adoption thing. I want to do it. But not yet."

"What? Why?"

His voice was still soft and gentle. If they weren't in the hospital room with the baby so close she would have been positive that he was trying to seduce her.

"Roberta and Victor. She's their grandchild. We'll have her christened Sammie-Lynn Evans. Then when we move in together, whenever that is, then we'll set up the adoption."

She looked deeply into his eyes and he smiled at her.

"Right, we'll wait."

"We'll wait."

* * *

Okay so thought that I'd give a warning. I have exams coming up in less than a month. So due to that posting will be irregular. There might only be one or two posts between now and the 9th June. So sorry for the long wait that there is likely to be before the next post.

Kris


	43. Forty Three

Chapter 43

Lily was getting ready to leave the hospital. She had been in now for three days. She was fine and so was Sammie (everyone seemed to be dropping the Lynn) and they were heading home.

They had had a few visitors since news broke of the birth. A few healers that Lily worked with had turned up as had Aurors, like Alice. Then Tim Davies and Simon Day the only two players besides Gideon who had played with Larry. They had both commented on how she was looking like her father. With them they brought more Arrows gear for her.

Then only yesterday had Delia Green, Kat Dove and Emma Caldwell from the Harpies come to visit them. They had 'ohhed' and 'ahhed' as they watched her wave her fists in the air while kicking her legs. They'd brought with them a Harpies stuffed bear and shirts. Including one that said Sanders, which Lily would keep safe for her.

Lily though was a little disappointed that Roberta, Victor and Megan had not visited once. She had felt that Megan would at least have turned up to see her. But then again maybe it was too difficult.

A gurgling sound came from the crib and Lily picked Sammie up smiling at her gently.

"You're a clever girl aren't you?"

Another gurgle and Lily laughed lightly.

"Really Uncle Sirius told you that did he, well you don't listen to him."

"What did Sirius tell her?"

Lily smiled at Eddie as he stepped inside.

"Hello Sammie."

The baby dribbled down her chin and he looked at Lily.

"I guess that's my hello then."

"Yep. What are you doing here?"

"I've come to see you before you leave."

"Oh well thank you."

"And I wanted to tell you to ignore everything except your friends and this little one."

"Why?"

"I think you should see this."

He handed her a copy of the paper and she gave him Sammie. He bounced her happily a little in front of him watching Lily.

"It's on the front page baby."

_Evans gives birth_

_The event the wizarding world has been waiting for with baited breath has finally come to pass. On the 12th April Lily Evans the fiancée of Lawrence Matthews gave birth to a child that she has claimed to be his. But is it?_

_Evans is the mother of a healthy little girl. My sources say that she has named the baby Sammie-Lynn. Any fan of Matthews will pick up on the impact of this. The player's middle name was Samuel so this is her attempt to make it seem that the baby is really his. As for the other part of the name it is being assumed it is in the memory of the Harpies beater Caitlyn Sanders who was known as Lyn._

_As for Evans she is keeping very quiet about the baby and has not yet left the hospital room where the child was delivered. Although why would she need to leave when she is having visits from one James Potter at all hours. It is this reporter's belief that the father of this child is still alive and that the woman is yet again messing with the hearts of the Matthews family._

_Rita Skeeter _

"I hate that woman!"

"Now Lily it seems that the feelings are mutual."

"Obviously it must be a slow news month if that's the main story."

"It's the only story."

"What?"

"Yeah they have interviews and everything. I quite like the one on page five. Go on take a look."

She turned the pages and came to the page in question. There was a large caption on the top of the page 'Personal comments on the birth'. It was then split into a number of sections and it seemed they had spoken to people about the birth.

"Wow it really must be a slow month."

"You haven't read who they interviewed yet!"

Lily looked down and saw a picture of a man dressed in healers robes with soft red hair.

"Oh look they spoke to somebody called Edward Charlton. I wonder what he had to say."

"I don't know why don't you have a look."

She grinned as she looked at what they had printed.

_Edward Charlton has known Evans since she left Hogwarts and started training as a Healer. When we asked about the child he had the following to say. "Lily was truly in love with Larry. There was no other man for her. This child is his and anybody that sees her will know it instantly."_

"Eddie do you really think she looks like him?"

"Of course. She hasn't got anything Potter in her."

"Oh thank you."

"You should read on. There are a few good ones especially the ones from Gideon and Sirius."

She looked back and saw the photos of the pair of them.

_Gideon Prewett has known Evans since she started in Hogwarts. They were in the same house only she was a year younger than him. He also happened to be best friends with Matthews and he had the following to say. "Lily was as devoted to Larry as he was to her. Neither one was cheating they were too wrapped up in each other to notice anybody else. Sammie is defiantly Larry's daughter and I'm her favourite uncle."_

_Sirius Black started Hogwarts at the same time as Evans and spent his schooling life with her. As well as that link he is also best friends with Potter, Evans' other man. Black had the following to say. "James isn't the father. He loves Lily very much and has done for a long time but Lily is the kind of woman who is faithful. She was with Larry and no other man. Sammie is defiantly Larry's daughter and it's a pity he'll never get to see her. But he needn't worry because her favourite uncle, me, is keeping an eye out on her."_

She laughed looking at Eddie.

"This is just going to keep going on isn't it?"

"Yep."

"Hey what's this?"

"What's what?"

"Page six."

_The Matthews against the Evans'_

"Oh it's nothing Lily."

"I think it is."

_When news broke of the birth of Sammie-Lynn Evans we decided that we should go to the families behind the story and find out what they had to say. Our first stop was that of a muggle household. Inside we found the parents of Evans along with her sister and brother-in-law. We spoke to each individually. _

_Jimmy is the father of the woman at the centre of our story. He seems like a naïve man who can't see passed his daughter's pretty face. When we asked him about the father of his granddaughter he claimed that the father had to be Matthews because his daughter is Catholic and doesn't practice sex outside of marriage. Well we have news for him she does. As for Silvia the girls mother. Well she waved her arms around a little as if in distraction and told us that she didn't know the man. Does this mean that there is another man involved?_

_Evans' sister one Petunia Dursely didn't even seem to care about the birth. In fact when we asked her she looked around the room as if distracted before telling us that she has no sister, and that if this niece is also a "freak" then she will have nothing to do with it. However Evans' brother in law was much more forthcoming. He told us that he wouldn't be surprised if the child is not that of the chaser but that of the Auror. He claims that Evans needs male attention and doesn't care where it comes from._

_With Evans' own family being torn we headed to the home of the Matthews where they are still trying to come to terms with their son's death. Roberta his mother told us that she is a hundred percent certain that the child is that of Potter's and refuses to acknowledge it as anything to do with them. Victor voiced a similar sentiment to that of his wife adding that the child can be made to look like their son with glamour's and that nobody should be fooled._

_However Matthews' sister Megan was quick to jump to the woman's defence. Claiming that Evans was truly in love with her brother and that the affair between her and Potter never took place. She further claims that the child is defiantly her brothers. However she has admitted that she will never have a part in the child's life as she will not go against her parents._

_So with so much confusion between the families I think that one thing is clear. Evans is a deceitful young woman that will do whatever she can to get her own way. With that said I assume that it will be only a matter of time before we discover that the child is carrying the surname Potter. Then with that announced we will see the similarity between father and daughter._

_Rita Skeeter_

"I can't believe that!"

"I know she's stepped over the line. But Lils your father was very supportive and so was Megan."

"Eddie I'm sick of this. I just want a normal life. I want to fall in love and have children. I don't want everybody discussing my life."

"I wouldn't worry about it baby. Because soon enough Sammie will become yesterday's news, yes you will and then you and mummy can have a normal life."

"We'll never have a normal life."

Eddie smiled slightly before pulling a sour face.

"Umm Lils."

"Yeah."

"Someone needs a new nappy."


	44. Forty Four

Chapter 44

Lily looked around the garden. The daffodils were still out and around them new colours were beginning to show. She had always loved the flowers in the garden. When she had been younger she had claimed she was going to name her children after them. She was always going to have twins and name them Heather and Lizzie. Then Petunia was going to have a daughter named Rose and they would be best friends. Funny how life works out.

She opened the kitchen door and walked in. Everything was quiet and she didn't mind in the least. She was still annoyed with what she had read. The only one that she could really trust was her father and he wasn't all that happy with the circumstances since she had never been married.

She heard the front door shut and then voices as they headed into the kitchen. Her mother and sister stopped in the doorway looking at her.

"Lily you're home!"

"For a while."

"What?"

"I'm going to be moving out."

"But why?"

She just shook her head. Her sister's voice however changed the conversation.

"Is that it then?"

"No this is the other baby I'm bringing home. What do you think?"

Her mothers shopping was straight on the floor.

"Oh who's my lovely granddaughter then? I'm grandma and I'm going to spoil you."

Lily just watched as her mother held the baby there. Petunia's eyes were on the baby. She looked like she was going to be okay around her. But Lily didn't want Petunia near the baby.

"What do you think you're doing Petunia?"

"Looking at the baby."

"Oh well I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with it if it was a freak."

"What?"

"Yeah and you can tell Vernon that I don't need male attention, I'm not that shallow."

"Why would he want to know that?"

She shook her head and leaning over her mother took Sammie into her hands.

"I'm going to put her in my room. Tell dad to come up when he gets home."

"But Lily –"

"But nothing mother."

Lily's voice was all hard and cold. She didn't care though as she moved upstairs. She opened her bedroom door and smiled. James had been over she was sure of that. A small cot was set up in the corner and there were a bunch of flowers in a vase. Lily took in a deep breath as she placed the baby down.

She knew this wasn't going to be permanent. Living with her parents was never going to work. She needed her own place. Maybe she could get the boys to help her find somewhere. She only needed a small place, one bedroom really. She wasn't going to be leaving Sammie on her own any time soon.

Gently Lily sat on her bed and looked up at her ceiling. She didn't know what to do. She was so use to having people around her lately that having five minutes to herself was strange. She picked up a book from her cabinet and started to flick through it to her spot.

Her eyes glazed over the words as she scanned the pages. She wasn't really taking it in. As she looked at it her eyes began to droop.

"Lily?"

She sat up straight and looked at her father. He was smiling gently at the door and she waved him in.

"Dad I want you to meet Sammie."

She watched as her father went over to the crib. When he bent down and picked the girl up Lily was surprised that she didn't feel anything. She trusted her father with the baby.

"She's gorgeous darling."

"Thank you."

"Your mother said you're going to be moving out."

"I can't stay here now."

"We don't mind you having the baby here."

"It's not that. I know about the newspaper interview."

Her father stiffened a little and looked away from the baby to her.

"Was it really that bad?"

"You weren't but the rest was."

Slowly her father lowered himself onto the bed next to her.

"What was said?"

"Mum made it sound like Larry wasn't the dad, or James. So they now think there's a third bloke. Petunia said that the baby will be a freak so she doesn't want to know. Then Vernon said I need male attention so the father could be anybody."

"I'll talk to them."

"No I don't want you to. I'm just going to find a flat to live in."

"You won't live in a little flat with a baby Lily. You'll stay here."

"Dad it won't be that bad, and it's not as if it'll be for long."

"What?"

He had looked up at her and Lily sighed gently stroking the small amount of blonde hair away from Sammie's face.

"James wants to adopt her."

Her dad smiled gently.

"He's a good man."

"I know. I love him dad. He wants us to live together as a family. He's asked to adopt Sammie and to marry me."

"When's the wedding?"

"I'm not marrying him."

His face turned suddenly as he looked at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to get myself sorted first. I mean Larry hasn't been dead a year yet. I'm not going to marry him this year. Next year maybe but not yet. Plus I want to give Roberta and Victor some time to get use to Sammie to maybe accept her as family."

"They do need time."

Lily smiled at her father as he gently rocked Sammie in his arms. She felt at ease again. The only thing that was missing from the picture now was James.

* * *

Sorry for the delay in posting revision, work you know the drills. Anyway my exams start next week which means no update until the exams are over. So next post will be on the 9th after my last exam (if I can get on before I go to work that is)

Kris


	45. Forty Five

Chapter 45

Three O'clock. Why three o'clock? Why did three o'clock even have to exist? Lily sat on the chair in her bedroom nursing her baby. She was shattered. It had been a week since she had returned home and she just wanted to leave.

Things hadn't gotten any better since her arrival back home. It was change that did it for her family. They were so strict with life that they didn't want you to live it; they just wanted you to exist in it. Well Lily had tried existing and it was boring, it was much better to live.

She knew that they were finding it difficult as well. Petunia claimed that Vernon had said no such thing and was refusing to speak to their father. Vernon was quite happy with himself that was clear. He had smiled smugly and left the house after Petunia. That had been six days ago.

Since then their mother was going round to their house to see Petunia. She too wasn't speaking properly to Jimmy. It had to do with the way that he had just jumped onto Lily's side and not even listened to them. She didn't care though. Not really. They'd work it out as soon as she left.

As for leaving well that wasn't going good. She was unable to look for flats what with being so tired. Sirius had agreed to help her out. Said that he'd watch Sammie while she went out looking. Well that wasn't happening. She'd rather Sirius flat hunt for her than that.

While her mind had been ticking this over Sammie had fallen back asleep. Gently Lily placed her back into the crib and tiptoed downstairs. She may be shattered but she was finding it more and more difficult to get to sleep. She would lay there and she'd think she heard Sammie and it would stop her from sleeping.

The house was dark. Her parents were fast asleep in their room. Turning the kitchen light on she jumped a little. There was a tiny owl on the table. How had that got in? Turning her head a little she saw that the window was open a touch. A small smile went to her features as she moved towards it.

She took a letter from it and watched as it went back out the window. Moving to the kettle Lily turned it on and pulled down a mug. Rummaging through the cupboards she found the coco and popped some into the mug. As the kettle boiled she added the water and taking a spoon sat at the table.

Gently she looked at the envelope. There wasn't a name on it. Turning it in her hand she broke the seal and was surprised to find that it didn't contain a letter. Inside was a small locket. Lily's eyes were dropping with tiredness and her fingers weren't co-ordinated so it took a few minutes to catch the lock.

As the heart flipped open it took her a second to register what was inside. A small smile came to her face. There were three small pictures in it. One held Roberta and Victor, another Megan and the last Larry. This had to be from Megan a way for Sammie to know that side of her family. It was perfect.

"Can't sleep?"

Lily looked up and nodded as her dad sat down opposite.

"What's that?"

"Megan sent Sammie a present."

Her father held it taking a look and smiled.

"It's nice."

"Yep."

"Sammie can wear it for the Christening."

"Maybe."

Lily yawned widely and waved at her father as he stuck his head outside. She laughed gently to herself unable to believe her father. He had been a smoker since he was a teenager but her mother hated it. He had told her he had quit years ago but had always gone out in the middle of the night with a cigar. Seemed things hadn't changed that much.

Gently walking up the stairs her mind moved to something. A christening. That would be fabulous. She'd be expected to have a huge Catholic Baptism but she didn't know if she wanted that. Maybe she could have it in a small church somewhere. But then her father wouldn't be happy.

Then there were godparents. Who would she have? She knew instantly that it would have been Lyn. She would have been great at being godmother. But she could ask Megan, although she doubted she'd agree. Then there was Eddie, she could have him as godfather. Or maybe Gideon he was best friends with Larry after all. But did James expect to be asked? Things were again getting complicated.

Crawling into bed Lily let her eyes drift shut as sleep finally came to her. It didn't seem long before she was blinking. It was light out and Sammie was crying again.

"Come on darling."

Picking her up Lily could feel that she was wet. A small sigh left her lips as she set about changing her. When she'd finished she headed downstairs to the kitchen.

She was a little surprised to find her father sat around the table with sheets piled in front of him.

"Oh Lily darling good you're up."

"Yeah dad. What's going on?"

"I've been working out plans for the Christening. I've been on the phone with the new Vicar, Vicar Gerald and he's agreed to do the Christening."

"What!"

"Yes isn't that fantastic. We've planned it already, how does a month sound to you darling?"

Lily looked at her father trying to restrain herself from yelling. This was fantastic. Just what she wanted. Yes something else taken out of her hands and then been told what to do. She really couldn't wait to be able to move out.

* * *

I'll admit this chapter isn't the best I had trouble finishing it off. But it works the Christening has been arranged and all that good stuff. Oh and the locket I felt that there had to be something from Larry's family even if it wasn't public so that's why I've added that. So next post will be a week tomorrow when my exams finish

Kris


	46. Forty Six

Chapter 46

The grill opened and Lily stepped inside the lift. A mass of people were crammed inside but she didn't take any heed. They slowly trudged up a floor and the bing announced that they had reached level seven which housed the sporting departments. A blonde man with hair down to his waist pushed passed Lily and into the untidy office. Above her head a number of memos zoomed in. Then the grill closed again and they moved on.

She waited silently as they passed floor six, then five, four came and went and then they were passing three. The lift had emptied out now and Lily was left standing there with Sammie in her hand. There was only one other person in the lift. It was an elderly man with fluffy white hair. He was a little stooped and looked rather scared.

"Level Two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters and Wizengamot Administration Services."

Lily moved to step forward at the same moment the man did. He looked up and smiled gently at her.

"After you miss."

She smiled at the man exiting the lift before him. She headed straight over to the Auror section. It seemed like something had just happened. There were a lot of people there and it looked like they'd just come back from an attack. Boy what she would have given to have just come back from an attack! Her father had kept her sitting at that table for three hours telling her of all the plans he'd come up with for the Christening. He had now sent her to ask people to be godparents.

She had to admit she was glad to have left the house. It was that time of the year again. May. That meant one thing in her parent's house. Time to work on the garden. Every year her mother would enter the church festivals with her flowers to try and win a green ribbon for gardening. Her mother's passion for gardening had even been expressed with her children's names, Petunia and Lily. Lily had always secretly wondered what she would have called the pair of them if they had been boys, it would have been different anyway.

Sammie made a gurgling sound drawing Lily's attention. She couldn't believe that her daughter was five weeks old already. It didn't seem at all possible that that much time could have already passed. But it had. Sammie was developing quickly. She was still very much a baby but was quizzical of the world around her. She would constantly be looking around and waving her arms up at people. Lily though couldn't wait for the laughter to start. Then for the crawling and talking.

As she moved further among the Aurors she was aware of the looks she was getting. It was no surprise really. She knew that a number of them still suspected that Sammie was a Potter. Not that they could really say that. She didn't look anything at all like James. Sammie was in fact the spit of her father. She had the exact same shade of blonde hair that he did. It fell in soft curls though making it look shorter than it actually was. Then her eyes were a mixture of Lily's green and Larry's blue. Neither colour more dominant than the other. She was beautiful was all Lily could think. Oh and thank god that Sammie had been blessed with Lily's nose and not Larry's. She was just the perfect creation of their love.

Lily stopped moving as she saw Fabian up ahead he was in deep conversation with Frank. As she looked at them she wondered if maybe Fabian would be the choice Larry would have wanted for Godfather. He had after all been friends with Fabian first. But no there was a closeness between Gideon and Larry that had been stronger. Maybe it was just Quidditch, Lily didn't really know.

Frank looked up at that moment and she saw a smile spread to his face. Fabian turned around and Lily grinning moved towards them.

"Hey guys. What's happening?"

"Oh nothing's happening is it darling? No nothing at all."

Lily just bit her lower lip as Frank tickled Sammie's chin. She couldn't get use to the baby talk. It was just strange. Why did you have to talk like that to a child? They could understand you well enough when you talked normally. The weirdest part of all though was when the men did it. Listening to Frank and Fabian talk like that to Sammie just made her want to laugh.

"Are you behaving for your mummy baby or is Uncle Fabian going to have to make you?"

Sammie gurgled and Fabian looked up.

"Did you hear that? She told me she's behaving."

"Really? I thought she was telling you to shut up and let her Uncle Frank talk."

Lily looked over their heads no longer able to keep a straight face as they fussed over Sammie. Fabian gently took hold of her and started to bounce her happily in front of him.

"You know your Uncle Fabian is going to take you too met little Percy soon. Yes I am. And then the pair of you can play."

"Don't let her Uncle Gideon hear that he wants to be the one to introduce them."

James slipped his arm around Lily's waist kissing her cheek gently.

"What you doing here honey?"

"Getting out of the house before I kill someone!"

"It can't be that bad."

Frank had looked up from Sammie and smiled gently at her.

"Its worse Frank. Petunia won't enter the house while and I quote 'the freak and her baby are there'. If Vernon comes round he's always smirking and making snide comments. Mum refuses to say more than two words to me; she blames me for Petunia not coming round. Then there's dad –"

"I thought Jimmy was being supportive."

Lily nodded leaning gently into James chest.

"Too supportive. I got up this morning to find he's organised a Christening for Sammie. How does June 11th sound to you all?"

Fabian looked up from Sammie and grinned.

"Fine with me. But you better make sure with Gideon. I mean you don't want the Godfather absent."

She shot him a look and he grinned.

"Gideon should be Godfather."

"Really you don't mind? I mean you were both best friends with Larry. I didn't know who to choose."

"It's his turn, so its fine."

"What?"

James sounded the question Lily had been thinking.

"Oh Gideon and I take it in turn with Molly's kids. I'm Bill's Godfather, so he got to be Charlie's. Then Percy was born so Molly and Arthur made me his Godfather so that means Gideon gets to be Sammie's."

Lily just nodded as Moody came over to them.

"Evans you're distracting my men. Get the baby out of here."

"Yes sir."

She took Sammie from Fabian hearing his mutter of complaint before turning to look at James.

"You got any plans for dinner tonight?"

"Peter's making roast pork with stuffed apples and parsnips oh and for dessert crème brulee."

"He's got the day off then."

James nodded gently as Moody sent her a look. Sammie made a gurgling noise and James let her hold onto one of his fingers.

"Yeah Peter said that since Crispin is away for the day he wasn't going to spend it sitting at a desk, he was going to do something he liked. So we're eating at around about seven. You should come round about six or earlier if you need out of the house."

"Potter leave the woman and baby alone and get back to work!"

James turned and nodded at Moody. He leaned in gently and kissed Lily's cheek.

"I'll see you tonight."

Then he was back off into the heart of the Auror office. Lily though gently strolled passed Moody in towards the Healer offices.

"Where do you think your going Evans?"

"I need to speak to Eddie about starting back."

The man raised his one good eyebrow at her but she just continued walking. Inside everything was silent. The lights were off and it seemed that nobody was at home. But there was a small clipping noise. Something was up. Quietly as possible she moved over to her station and lit the small lamp. It flung a small amount of light around the room. The clicking noise stopped.

From a few stations away a light flicked on and Lily caught the attention of the boy sitting there. Well no it wasn't a boy it was a man in his early twenties.

"What you want?"

"Excuse me that is not how you address someone."

He just shot her a look as the main lights came on. Lily turned to see Trevor stood in the doorway. He gave her a small smile looking at the other guy.

"Phil where the hell were you?"

"Don't know what you're talking about."

"When there's an attack you're suppose to come with us to help out."

"Didn't feel like it."

Trevor made a face. Lily knew that look the guy was annoyed. He however calmed himself and looked at Lily.

"So what brought you around here then?"

"Looking for Eddie."

"Oh he'll be a few minutes. He's giving Hortensia a mouthful about how stupid she was to fling herself at a Death Eater."

Lily nodded and sat down. Her desk hadn't been touched since she left. Her report was still on there that she hadn't finished.

"Who's the lady?"

The man Phil was still staring at her.

"The one you're suppose to be covering."

"She's hot."

Lily bounced Sammie in her lap trying to ignore the man. She could still hear him though as he detailed what he liked about her the most.

"I wouldn't let Potter hear you say that. He gets jealous very easily."

Lily smiled as Eddie came over to her. He didn't say hello just took Sammie right out of her hands.

"And how is my little girl today? Are you going to smile for Uncle Eddie?"

The baby talk didn't sound so weird on Eddie. Lily just smiled as Sammie made another gurgling sound.

"That's my girl."

Then still with Sammie in his hands he turned to look at Trevor and Phil.

"Trev mate will you start filling out the incident report for me. I need one for Hortensia's file with the details of her actions. Oh and can you find me two blue slips I'll fill them out."

Trevor nodded and Lily began to fiddle with a quill on her desk. Blue slips were the firing slips. She herself had filled a number in. It was never good to have to send a Healer back to the hospital because they couldn't cut it. They all liked to think that they could do what the Aurors did. But the truth was it was a difficult job. She sometimes wondered how she was able to manage herself.

Eddie was still bouncing Sammie happily as he looked at Phil.

"Pack your things up Walters you're going back to the hospital."

"Yeah right."

"Yes. We needed everyone on board today and you decided AGAIN not to come. I'm sick of your attitude. You are not a team player and that's what we need. I want your desk cleared by six o'clock. And boy if you're not out of here by then I'm sure I can get some Aurors to give you a hand."

Eddie's voice had gone to a quiet snarl. There was a no nonsense sound to it. Phil just stood up and started to pull things around. Eddie though had already turned his back to the man.

"Who's a good girl then? Behaving like a little angel aren't you baby."

"What happened today then?"

"There was an attack in Darby, some muggle race course. Lots of horses there. Never seen so many in my life! I had to call everyone in because of the damage being done. Serious stuff this time Lils. But of course Phil here is too good to have to work. Just sits around the office all day."

"What happened with Hortensia? I thought she was beginning to work out."

"Flung herself at a Death Eater. She'd lost her wand and thought it a good idea to jump on the guy. She was just lucky that your James was near by. Otherwise I wouldn't be filling out a blue slip for her; it would be a yellow one."

Lily nodded yellow slips were the worse. They were the ones documenting a death on job. She'd seen her fill of those too.

"So why you here then? I know it isn't to work."

"Oh right. Dad has gone all business on me. He organised Sammie's christening this morning. Now my job is to find her Godparents. You up for the task?"

"Oh did you hear that Sammie? Uncle Eddie's going to be your Godfather. That means I can spoil you and buy you sweets."

Lily just grinned.


	47. Forty Seven

Chapter 47

Sammie had fallen asleep in Eddie's arms. Lily had considered going home but she really needed to see Gideon. She was aware of the fact that the Arrows were practicing new players now. The reserve team had been tried out and the best brought up to the main team.

So with Sammie in her arms she decided to apparate to the Ellis Moor stadium. She knew that the team had been given special permission to train there. A lot of the big teams were now practicing in the main stadiums just to try out their players.

Everything was quiet when she arrived. It was a little strange. She could see the players in the sky but not to hear a crowd screaming, she didn't think she would ever get use to that. She came to a stop just outside the tunnel area and looked up. It was strange to think that only a year ago her Larry was up there with them. She had actually stood in this very spot and watched the Arrows beat the Bats. But a year had gone by and things had really changed.

"No visitors allowed."

Lily looked to the side and saw Alfie Prince. He was manager of the club. In his hay day he had been one of the team's best beaters but now he no longer had the speed for the game. Lily had met him on a number of occasions but he never seemed to remember her. Or maybe he didn't want to. She knew he was very much like his nephew, Severus Snape. He didn't like her at all.

"Woman I said no visitors! Get out now!"

"I'm not visiting. I'm here to see Gideon."

"That's visiting."

"No its not. I've got an important message for him."

The man shot her a look before blowing his whistle. All the players headed down to the ground. Lily smiled as Simon Day the keeper came straight over to her.

"There's our little mascot."

He looked down at the sleeping baby and smiled.

"She's so pretty Lily. Larry would have loved her to pieces."

"I know."

"And he'd bring her to all our games. She'd be our lucky little mascot."

"Well she'll be coming to your games. When she's a little older."

"No kidding. I'm going to have her sat by the boys, cheering us on."

"That's good to know Gid. Now can I have a quick word before Prince bursts a blood vessel?"

Simon and Tim Davies (who was the last remaining chaser) stepped back towards the other four men.

"What's up red?"

"What?"

"Okay so you don't like being called red."

Lily pulled a face ignoring whatever it was Gideon was on about.

"You got any plans for the 11th June."

"I don't know. Can I get back to you?"

"No you can't."

"Lily listen honey. I know that you're lonely, but you and me we can't date. You're still Larry's misses in my mind, and you're with James."

"You think that I want to – with you! No Gid I want you to be Sammie's Godfather."

His face changed and a smile spread to his face.

"I'm going to be a Godfather! Again!"

She watched as he ran around in a circle making what could have been thought of as war cry.

"Gideon. Gideon!"

He stopped and looked at her.

"I take it you will."

"Of course. Oh this will be good. I can really rub it in Black's face. I get to be her Godfather as well as her favourite uncle!"

"What makes you think I haven't asked Sirius too?"

He stopped dancing on the spot and shot her a look.

"You're not having him be Godfather as well? He nearly killed the baby!"

She chuckled lightly.

"No it's going to be you and Eddie. If you'll agree."

"Of course I will. Oy Tim, Simon did you hear that? I'm going to be little Sammie's Godfather."

She left Gideon too it. Prince was giving her a killer look. So with that sorted she headed back to her parents house to tell her father of the plans.

* * *

Sorry for the delay been a really busy week. Not sure when the next post will be depends on a lot of things. Oh and to clear something up, you can have more that one godfather/godmother. I myself have one godmother and two godfathers. 


	48. Forty Eight

Chapter 48

Lily put her fork down and looked up at Peter.

"That was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten."

"Thanks."

He blushed a little standing up to do the dishes.

"No I'm serious Pete. You're an amazing cook. You could open your own restaurant or something. You'd make a fortune."

The man turned and smiled at her. She was amazed by how much it changed his face. His eyes shone with what could only have been joy as he gently shook his head.

"I always wanted to do that. Maybe when the war is over and I don't have to keep an eye on the Minister anymore I will."

"You should. Then you could charge people like these lumps to eat your food."

"Charge us! You'd never charge us would you Peter old pal?"

Sirius had sat up straight a look of pure fright in his eyes. The smaller man lifted his chin high into the air, a look of complete thoughtfulness spread to his face.

"Well not Remus, he wouldn't be able to afford my prices. But you Mr Quidditch star, you'd have to pay for all the food you ate."

"Great one Lily give him ideas."

"You know Sirius there is another way."

The man looked straight at her. She smiled kindly looking at Peter for a moment and then back to him.

"You could make up for the meal in some other way."

"I don't swing that way Lily … and neither does Peter. Do you?"

"No!"

The two men looked outraged as James snorted into his glass of wine. Lily though put on a stern face.

"You have a filthy mind Sirius! I wasn't thinking of anything like that. I was thinking you could do the washing up."

"Oh I like that Lily. Yes Sirius you ate the most you can do the washing up."

"But –"

"But nothing. I'm popping out to see my mum and when I get back I expect it to be done."

With a resounding pop Peter had left the house. Sirius got up slowly and looked at Lily.

"Great one Lily. I was suppose to meeting up with the guys for drinks tonight and now I've got to do the dishes."

Remus for the first time spoke up gently.

"Drinks. Which guys?"

"Well our team is getting together to welcome our new players."

Lily perked up suddenly too.

"You've got the players sorted who?"

He picked up one of the dirty dishes and waved it at her.

"Hey because of you I've got to clean up. So I'm not telling you."

"If you tell me I'll do the dishes."

He smiled instantly dropping the dish back into the bowl.

"Well Billy Wilde has been brought up from reserve to replace John Jones. Then we have this great find Sharon Anderson she played keeper for Hufflepuff, she left in September and has been looking for a permanent place ever since. Then do you remember Ken Sweet. Played Beater for the Ravenclaw year above us in school. Well he's been on the bat's books for ages but never made the first team, we've poached him off them."

"Wow that's good then. Means that next season you've got a full team."

"Yep. I know. So I'm going to meet them now."

"Mind if I join you. Carly's working tonight and don't want to be a third wheel to these two!"

Remus laughed as he said it. Then the two disappeared and Lily was left in the kitchen with James. Sammie was already asleep in her Moses basket. Standing up Lily moved over to the sink.

"You should have left Sirius do this."

"Well if you're so concerned you could do it."

"But you clean them so much better than I do."

Lily just smiled gently as she pulled her wand out of her pocket.

"Okay babe don't do anything drastic. I'll wash them if it means so much to you."

Lily just flicked her wrist and said gently the incantation that set the pots and plates to clean themselves. James lifted an eyebrow at her.

"You've got to teach me that one."

She just smiled picking up her wine and heading into the living room. James was right behind her and they dropped onto the sofa together. Softly Lily laid her head onto James shoulder looking into the fireplace.

"It's so nice here."

"Of course it is. I'm here!"

She giggled softly taking a sip of her wine.

"James."

"Umm…"

"You don't mind not being Godfather do you?"

"Of course not. After all I get to play daddy."

"Yeah, and she's going to have you wrapped around her little finger."

"Defiantly. She'll just widen her eyes and say 'but daddy' and I'll let her have whatever she wants."

"You'll spoil her rotten."

"No. I'll spoil her mother rotten."

"I love you James."

"Why? Is it because I'm going to spoil you?"

"No. Well maybe a little."

He laughed and she felt his shoulders move gently against her cheek.

"It's just the way you are. Not many guys would be so understanding. They'd want everything now and I'm not ready for that. Then there's the way you are with Sammie. I don't think that a lot of guys could so easily take on another mans child."

"Well I am pretty amazing."

Lily took her head off James shoulder and looked at him. He was just right. Everything about him was perfect. Leaning towards the coffee table she put her glass down and smiled at him.

"Have I shown you how much I love you lately?"

He placed his glass down on the floor and looked at her closely.

"You've told me."

He grinned as she took his lips with her own. Her hand went almost instantly to his hair messing it up even more. He deepened the kiss and she felt his hand on her waist. They stayed like that for a while and then finally Lily pulled away.

"James lets go upstairs."

"You sure?"

She only nodded as she took his hand leading the way up to his bedroom…


	49. Forty Nine

Chapter 49

Sammie was crying. Lily looked at her daughter wanting to take her into her arms. Eddie's hand slipped into hers and she felt him squeeze it gently.

"I christen you Sammie-Lynn. In the eyes of God we welcome you to our family."

The vicar gently handed Sammie over to Gideon. She stopped crying as he jiggled her up and down. Lily was handed a candle from the vicar before the three of them headed back down to the pews.

Lily had to admit that the service wasn't that bad. Not what her father had expected mind. Her father had told her that the service was going to be led by Vicar Gerald. He had been all excited because this new vicar was suppose to be brilliant. The Vicar was brilliant it just turned out that it wasn't Vicar Gerald, but Vicar Geraldine. She was really good with Sammie though and Lily liked her.

She had been leading the service for only two weeks but she was fun. There was an air around her that made her approachable. She was nothing like the vicars Lily had grown up with. This woman was really good.

A movement from Eddie drew her attention. He gently blew the candle and the small flame went out. Lily shot him a look for a moment before realising how close she had been holding it to the leaflet. That would have been fun, setting fire to the church.

The service went on a little longer and then Lily was leaving the church. She stood outside in the crisp June air smiling at people. She had received a few odd looks and she was guessing it was down to her clothing. She was in a summer dress that cut a little lower than maybe it should. But she liked it. Plus they were in a heat wave it kept her cool.

An arm crept around her and she turned smiling up at James.

"You look beautiful Miss Evans."

"Thank you."

"Aren't you going to comment on my appearance?"

"Okay, you could have brushed your hair."

He laughed kissing her cheek gently.

"That's my girl."

"Ah … Lily. It's good to see you in Church again."

"Miss Stand."

"No now what did I tell you? Call me Gloria."

"Oh alright Gloria."

"So who's your friend?"

"I'm James Potter. Lily's boyfriend."

The woman shot Lily a look. Around them the old nosy congregation were listening in. It was the way that all buzz of conversation had stopped around them.

"Boyfriend. But you're not the baby's father is that right?"

"Gloria I told you before. Sammie's father died before our wedding. James isn't the father."

She nodded and moved over to where Lily's mother was standing with her dad and Petunia. They were slowly on mending terms now. Lily just sighed as James kissed her forehead.

"Nosy bunch of muggles aren't they."

"Shh."

She smiled gently up at him anyway. Then from within the church they heard a bang and Lily had to bite her mouth not to laugh as Sirius came rolling out the door. Behind him Remus and Carly were laughing as Peter shook his head. The 'nosy bunch of muggles' as James had dubbed them all looked up as he jumped to his feet.

"I'm alright everyone! No panic."

He slouched over to Lily and James and pulled a face.

"Kat says hi."

Lily looked to the door and saw the Harpies player standing with Delia and Emma. She was pulling a face towards Sirius.

"What you do?"

The man looked at James and shrugged.

"I only asked her if she wanted to practice making a baby."

Lily was saved from answering as Gideon came over with Sammie.

"I think somebody needs a new nappy."

Lily just grinned taking her daughter from him. Sammie leaned up and pulled on her hair gently smiling for all the world to see.

Lily stepped out from the church with Sammie all clean again. The little girl was blowing bubbles happily unaware of the adults all around her. It seemed that most people had already left the church. Lily's parents had organised a small 'party' at their house for after the service and Lily guessed most people had already gone there.

As she stopped at the bottom step she smiled at James who was stood with Fabian. They both looked up at her as she came up besides them.

"What are you two still doing here?"

"Waiting for you."

"Both of you?"

James nodded. She looked sideways at Fabian but he was happily playing with Sammie's fingers.

"What's going on?"

The older Auror looked around before answering.

"It's been five days since an attack. Moody's worried that with so many of our kind mixing with muggles today there might be one."

"He thinks somebody's going to attack us today."

"Yes. So we're going to walk you home. Don't want a repeat of Christmas Eve now do we."

"I can't believe Frank told you about that."

"Well he kind of had to after it was in the paper."

James was silent as they walked on. Lily and Fabian continued with their banter. They reached her parents house and headed straight round back. Lily was a little surprised to see how many people were there. Her parent's friends were stood around the BBQ area. Vernon and Petunia were mixing with the muggle guests.

Lily's biggest surprise however was how many wizards and witches had turned up. Larry's two other team mates (besides Gideon) Simon Day and Tim Davies were standing with the three Harpies players that Lily knew.

Then Sirius was stood with Gideon talking to Edgar Bones. His wife Ella was a little to the side talking with Marlene Mckinnon while her children ran around in circles chasing each other. A little bit further off stood Alice talking to Libby while Frank was lost in conversation with Eddie while Kim sat on the floor pulling up handfuls of grass.

Then Lily saw Remus standing with his arm around Carly while happily chatting away with Alastor Moody. Peter was to one side with Dumbledore in their own private conversation.

"Lily you okay?"

She was drawn out of looking around as James waved his hand in front of her face.

"Yeah sorry just looking around."

She smiled up at him as she started to make the rounds visiting each person.


	50. Fifty

Chapter 50

The evening was drawing in and a lot of the guests had headed off. Most of her healer friends had all left with the exception of Eddie and Carly. Then the Aurors too had left due to Moody's calls that most of them were working that afternoon. James had managed to wangle his way out of going into the office as had Fabian and Alice. Everyone else including Frank had gone into work.

In fact other than them there only remained four other wizards Sirius, Remus, Gideon and Peter. Everyone else had left. But the muggles seemed to be staying on. Her parents were happily talking to friends and Petunia and Vernon were now in charge of the BBQ.

The group though were rather merry. Lily liked that saying, it sounded better than pissed as a doorpost. Although she was unsure of how pissed a doorpost could be. Not that it mattered at all to her.

"So what you're saying is that you've only ever had sex with Frank?"

Alice nodded taking another swig from her glass.

"He was my school sweetheart. We started dating when we were fifteen and got married at twenty. I've never dated anybody else."

"I can't believe that!"

"Just because you hump everything Padfoot doesn't mean everyone does."

Lily chocked on her wine at Remus' words. She didn't know how they had gotten onto this topic but it seemed to be sticking. She looked around at the people she was sat with. Alice was on her right, and next to her were Carly and Remus. Then Sirius was facing Remus with Gideon and Fabian. James was sat behind Lily with Peter and Eddie on his left.

"You're a good one to talk Remus. Remember I know exactly who you've had."

The man fell silent his eyes shifting from Carly to Lily. It seemed that Gideon picked up on the slight movement though as he coughed through his pint glass.

"No way!"

His eyes went from Remus to Lily. She squirmed a little aware that James had just put his glass down and was looking at her.

"You and Remus?"

Lily's eyes widened as she shot Sirius a look. Alice was giggling away next to her.

"James ignore them. There was never a Remus and me."

"Oh really. What about that time after the Harpies played us? Remember because I ended up with Caitlyn."

They were silent for a moment before Eddie spat his drink into the air.

"I remember that! It was the night you got all those guys to buy Lily drinks. You should have seen the state on her when she came into work."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh come on Lils yes you do. You came in claiming you were going to kill Sirius and then that you hoped Remus would be awake when you got home."

James' grip tightened a little around her waist at this point.

"Moony did you sleep with my woman?"

"Once. But we were both drunk! It was a mistake that we're never going to repeat."

"I can't believe that."

Lily turned to look sideways at James. He had a fake pout on his face.

"Oh but I love you and I don't love Remus."

"Hey!"

Remus pulled a face just as Carly slugged him one in the arm.

"Remember who you're with mister."

"Yes honey."

Alice suddenly looked up at Lily.

"So you've slept with Larry, Remus and James."

"Yeah."

"In that order!"

Lily looked at Gideon who had a look of pure fright on his face. He had one of his fingers in the air like he had just discovered something.

"That means that Sammie could be Remus'!"

"What? I'm not Sammie's father! Am I?"

Lily moved her fingers through her hair looking at Remus closely.

"I got pregnant a year after we had sex."

"Oh okay then. So she's not mine."

"No."

"Wait so you slept with Remus before Larry?"

Lily sighed looking at Gideon.

"Yes. I was with James in Hogwarts. Then I got drunk one night and ended up with Remus. Larry and I were, as Lyn put it, physical. Oh and now it's me and James again. Come full circle."

"WHAT?"

Lily turned to see her father standing over them. It seemed that everyone suddenly came alive. Alice managed to stand up and moved to stand next to Peter as the rest of the group edged backwards.

"Lily is that true?"

"Yes."

"You told me there was only Larry."

"Because that's what you wanted me to say!"

"How old were you?"

"Pardon."

"I said how old were you?"

"That's none of your business!"

"MY DAUGHTER IS SLEEPING AROUND AND IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS."

"Jimmy wait now that's out of order."

"Don't you talk to me like that boy. I trusted you with my daughter and this is what you do."

"Dad that's out of order. I love James and he loves me."

"YOU WERE STUPID SCHOOL CHILDREN!"

"Jimmy that's not fair. I love Lily and I have done for a long time."

"Oh so that's how she ended up engaged to ANOTHER MAN!"

Lily knew her father. He had lost control of his temper that's why his voice was rising and falling as it was. There was no use arguing with him now. He was drunk and angry. He wouldn't listen to anything they had to say.

"Dad look now isn't the time or place to talk about this. Why don't we drop it until tomorrow?"

He made a face but then turned his back to them. Lily looked sideways at Sirius. He had the grace to look embarrassed about what he had done. Lily was very much aware of the looks that people were sending her. But she didn't care. They were of a different time. She loved her father yes but he was brought up in a time when a woman couldn't have a child out of wedlock. Things were different now.

"I told you she was like _that _didn't I."

Lily snapped her head around to see Vernon standing there with Petunia. His piggy eyes were staring at her with a look of disgust.

"What did you just say?"

The man stared at her as she moved closer.

"You heard what I said."

"You think you know anything about me Vernon? How could you? None of you know me."

"Like we'd want to know a freak like you!"

He spat the words out and Lily could hear uproar behind her.

"How dare you? Just because you don't understand us doesn't make us freaks."

"Well you're not normal are you?"

"Take that back!"

Lily turned to see James step forward. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at her brother-in-law. Vernon gulped a little but seemingly kept his nerve.

"Why should I? What you going to? Put a spell on me. Try it."

James pushed passed Lily and for an instant she was scared he'd pull his wand out. But she needn't have worried. His fists were balled up and as Vernon looked at him he struck. Lily jumped backwards as James hit Vernon in the face. Vernon stumbled backwards but before he had time to defend himself James had thrown another blow.

From behind Lily could hear the cheers. Turning she could have sighed. Sirius and Gideon were bouncing on their toes jabbing the air. It was clear that they were trying to egg James on through their movements. Then there was Carly who was screaming 'hit him harder' at James. Fabian and Eddie were shooting glances at each other as Remus tried to calm Carly down. As for Alice she was holding onto Peter for support her eyes travelling the scene in front.

Turning back Lily could see that Vernon had now gained his control. As James slammed the larger mans head onto the ground he kicked up catching James in the stomach. Her boyfriend seemed to falter a little and Vernon used it to his advantage. It was no secret that Vernon was heavier than James. He used his weight to his advantage pushing James onto his back and sitting on him.

The muggles around them were gasping. They obviously had no idea what this was about. Lily's mother however was clinging to Petunia while her father was shooting looks at the lot of them. It was clear none of them were big fans of the wizarding world.

Lily felt a rush of air from either side of her and saw Sirius and Gideon jump onto Vernon's back.

"Get off him you fat muggle!"

"What did you call me?"

"Sirius called you fat, you idiot. Though that was an understatement I would have gone with enormous!"

She saw her brother-in-law swing his arms to hit the two men. But he was now completely out numbered.

"We'll teach you! Calling us freaks, we're not the freaks are we Sirius?"

"No Gid. The only freak here is this fat lump."

Sirius punched Vernon in the back of the head as Gideon hit his stomach. Beneath them James was wriggling to get free. Petunia gave an ear-splitting scream. Lily couldn't move as she watched. Her sister moved forward and started to pull at Gideon's arm.

"Let go of my husband freak."

"Keep your long nose out of this woman!"

Gideon swotted Petunia away as he struggled with Vernon. Lily watched in amazement as Petunia took off her shoe and hit Gideon around the head with it.

"I SAID GET OFF MY HUSBAND!"

"Oy don't hit Gideon with your shoe!"

"Shut your mouth."

Carly swore loudly and rushed straight at Petunia. To Lily's astonishment Carly punched Petunia hard in the face. Her sister stumbled backwards blood beginning to trickle from her nose.

"Vernon!"

The man pushed himself free of Sirius and Gideon and moved towards Carly. Peter was next to Lily instantly with his wand out. He pointed it straight at Vernon but Remus pulled it out of his hand. Lily couldn't understand why Remus did that. It didn't matter though as Sirius, Gideon and James pounced once more on Vernon.

"STOP IT!"

Lily heard her own voice but nobody seemed to take any notice. Then a wailing echoed through the yard. Lily turned to see Alice pick Sammie up. She seemed to have sobered up very quickly but Lily didn't have time to consider that.

Peter's arm suddenly went around Lily and he pulled her close to him as the three men rolled around on the floor where she had just stood. It seemed that Fabian had now had enough though. With Eddie at his side they ran over to the men and started to try and pull them apart. Remus too moved to the pile up and after a few missed attempts they had parted the fight.

Vernon was still on the grass. His nose was bloody and one of his front teeth was missing. His shirt was ripped and his right eye had begun to bulge. James too looked worse for ware. His hair was rumpled worse than normal and he had a large cut across his face were Vernon's wedding ring had scratch him. His left eye was squinted, possibly because he couldn't open it fully. He had dirt all up his back, as did Gideon and Sirius. They however just looked rumpled, although Gideon did have a red mark in the shape of a shoe on his face.

"Vernon! If they've hurt you we'll get them."

"Oh really I'd like to see you take us on in a proper fight."

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone looked at Lily. Peter was still holding onto her arm. She was shaking with rage though. The outside lights flickered and she felt like she had as a child unable to control her emotions and powers.

"You this is all your fault!"

"My fault! If your husband knew when to keep his big mouth closed none of this would have happened."

"You shouldn't have come back. Things were good until you showed your face again. Don't you get it Lily? You're not part of this family. You don't belong with us!"

"It doesn't matter what you think Petunia. I was born part of this family and I always will be."

"No my sister died eleven years ago when you went to _that_ school."

Lily didn't move as Petunia helped Vernon to his feet. The pair just looked at her.

"You're wrong. I'm always going to be your sister and you can't change that."

"Maybe not. But I want you out of my life forever. You and all of your kind."

Lily and Petunia just stared at each other. Lily couldn't take her eyes off her sister. This wasn't suppose to happen.

"I want you out of my house."

Lily spun to look at her mother. She had her arms folded and her eyes were cold.

"You're not welcome here anymore."

"But mum –"

"No I won't have you in my house if it's going to pull my family apart."

"But I am family."

"You made your choice four years ago Lily. You have to live with it."

"Daddy."

She put all her hope on her father. He raised his head though not meeting her eyes.

"You lied to me Lily. I won't forgive you that. I think its best if you leave."

She sniffed loudly pulling her arm free from Peter. She was aware of her friends watching her. She quickly turned on her heel and stormed into the house. Running upstairs she got into her room. Without hesitation she threw things into a bag and flung it over her shoulder. Pulling out her wand she shrunk down all of Sammie's things and tossed them into the bag as well.

Taking one last look at her room she walked onto the landing closing the door. Tears were gently falling down her cheeks but she didn't care. She was back in the garden standing looking at her family. They were right they weren't family. They were relatives. Her family were her friends. The people that understood everything she was going through.

She took Sammie from Alice and then walked back into the house. She was aware of the fact that her friends had followed her. Without looking back she closed her eyes and apparated away from her family's home.

* * *

Okay so this chapter was suppose to be part of the last one. But it sort of grew too long so had to split it up. So now things are really in swing, Lily is once more away from her family and life is moving on. 


	51. Fifty One

Chapter 51

Lily hadn't thought about where she was going to go. She just left her parents house. She looked up at the door in front of her and wondered if the others would think to come here as well. A pop sounded behind her and she looked up at James. He opened the front door and walked inside. She followed behind him. He went straight into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of firewhisky.

"I think you've had enough to drink."

"Yeah well I think I need more."

He downed the drink as she placed Sammie into the Moses basket.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Leaky Cauldron."

She just nodded pulling out a chair and sinking into it. She could feel James' stare.

"I'm sorry."

She hadn't expected that. She looked straight up at him and saw him frowning.

"If I hadn't have hit that muggle you call brother-in-law none of this would have happened."

"Yes it would have."

"What?"

"If it hadn't have happened today it would have happened tomorrow. James I left four years ago for a reason. They couldn't accept me for who I am. That hadn't changed. They just couldn't leave me on my own through my darkest hours. But I don't need them James. I have all the family I need here."

"Move in with me."

"What here?"

"Yes."

"James honey I love you but … But I can't live here."

"Why not?"

"Sammie. You might have signed on for her but the others haven't."

"They won't mind."

"Really. What about if Sirius brings some girl round? You think he's going to be happy then if she's crying all night and the girl isn't happy. Or what about Peter. Babies are messy she'll ruin his house."

"Well Sirius is partly to blame so he doesn't have a say. As for Peter well I'll help with the housework."

"That's sweet but its not going to work."

"Okay well how about I look for somewhere for us to live."

"You mean buy a house."

"Yeah why not? I mean I want to be with you and you do need a place to live."

"You'd give up living with the boys."

"If it means being with you yes. I love you Lily."

"Okay then. We'll get a house together."

"Good. And maybe now we can get the adoption sorted as well."

"Of course. Sammie-Lynn Potter has a ring to it."

He kissed her and she could taste the alcohol on him. Gently she pulled back looking over at the Moses basket.

"You want to stay here tonight?"

"Yes please."

He smiled gently at her wrapping his arms around her shoulders.


	52. Fifty Two

Chapter 52

Lily placed the pile of pancakes into the middle of the table. It was still quite early but James had woken her as he had gotten up. He had to go into the work for eight and so she had gotten up too.

"Something smells good."

"Homemade pancakes, the muggle way."

"Yummy."

James dropped into a chair and pulled the pancakes towards himself. Lily poured a glass of orange juice for him as Peter walked through into the kitchen.

"Morning Pete."

"Umm…"

"You want a hangover potion?"

He nodded extremely gently and she headed to look through the cupboards. She found what she was looking for and poured it into a glass. He took it and downed it in one mouthful. He made a face before dropping into a seat.

"I'm never drinking again."

James looked up from his plate his mouth full of food.

"Yeah right."

"No I mean it. I'm sick of hangovers."

James swallowed his food making a face at Lily.

"I better get to work."

"Okay. Oh and do me a favour. Tell Eddie I'm fine."

"Eddie I'm fine. Okay will do."

He was grinning as he stood up and kissed her cheek. After he left Lily sat down next to Peter.

"What you got planned for today then?"

"Crispin has a meeting with the goblins of Gringotts. So I've got to be there to make sure he doesn't try to blackmail them again."

"Again?"

"Don't ask long story. Better get going actually. Thanks for breakfast."

He was gone and Lily looked around. The boys had come back from the pub at an unearthly hour and brought friends with them. Lily had been lying awake in bed and was sure she could hear Alice and Eddie with them. Oh and then there was Gideon and Fabian. They had been joking around with Sirius. They had defiantly left the place looking worse for wear.

So pulling up her sleeves she started to clean it up the muggle way. It was a lot slower than with magic but it helped to take her frustration away. She was still hung up on what had happened the day before. Things didn't seem any clearer in the light of day. She had expected something soon enough but not yesterday. Things had been brewing but still.

"Morning."

Lily turned to see Carly stood in the doorway rubbing her eyes. In her left hand she was holding the arms of her glasses while she swayed lightly.

"How you feeling?"

"Like I didn't sleep. Did you know Gideon snores?"

Lily pulled a face as Carly placed her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose. She didn't seem ready to carry on the conversation as she poured apple juice into a glass and happily swung it down her neck.

Lily cleared her throat loudly and the girl looked at her.

"You're not coming down with something are you Lily?"

"Gideon!"

Carly scrunched up her eyes for a moment and then something seemed to dawn on her face.

"He went up to use the bathroom last night and somehow ended up passed out on the floor in Remus' bedroom. Couldn't be arsed to wake him so I left him there."

"Oh and where was Remus?"

"In Sirius' bed. He walked into the wrong room. I don't think Sirius noticed though."

"Wait he's in there too!"

"Yeah. I just checked on them. Sirius has Remus hugged tightly to his chest. Both have dopey grins on their faces too. If they weren't so drunk I'd worry that something had happened."

Lily laughed as she put the duster down on the unit. Carly seemed to notice what she was doing.

"Why don't you just use magic?"

"Helps me to think if I do it the muggle way."

"What you got to think about?"

"Well I have to find somewhere to live. Then I need to set about getting back to work and finding someone to have Sammie. Then –"

"Wait what do you mean somewhere to live? Aren't you just going to live here?"

"You expect me to let Sammie live here with these morons. I mean Remus and Sirius are in bed together. Gideon is passed out on the floor, there's rubbish everywhere and I'm sure that someone threw up in that cupboard over there."

She pointed to the one under the sink where a rotten smell was coming from. Carly laughed lightly sitting down and eating the cold pancakes.

"Yeah you've got a point. Not the best role models are they."

"Nope. I can just imagine coming home one day to find Sirius has tattooed Sammie with the Puddlemere logo."

"That would be bad. Although it could be worse."

"How could it be worse?"

"It could be a Kestrels logo!"

Lily couldn't help the laugh that slipped from her lips. Carly grinned as she picked up a fork and stabbed the pancake.

"You know if you really don't want to live here I have a spare room."

Lily sat down opposite the girl and smiled gently.

"Really?"

"Yeah my old flatmate Rachel just got married to some guy called Lovegood."

"You don't know him?"

"Well I don't really know Rachel. I needed a flat she needed a flatmate it sort of fell together. Anyway she's moved out and her room is going spare."

"And you don't mind Sammie?"

"Depends. Is she going to hog the bathroom and use all the hot water?"

"Not for another twelve maybe thirteen years."

"Well as long as you're moved out by then its fine."

"Thanks I owe you."

Carly just nodded as a scream sounded through the house. Lily shared a look with the brunette and they smiled as Sirius came running down the stairs. As he moved into the kitchen he stopped screaming and tried to look calm.

"Morning ladies."

"What happened?"

He opened his eyes wide as he smiled at Lily. He was nervous though because he was running his hand through his hair.

"Nothing, just felt like screaming this morning."

"Oh really. I thought it was because you were hugging Remus."

"What? You know!"

Lily burst out laughing as did Carly. Behind them Remus had entered the room.

"Morning honey."

"You get a good nights sleep?"

"Actually yes. Sirius is really comfy."

The sandy haired man just smiled as Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and stormed out. Lily and Carly shared another look and started laughing. Lily couldn't help but think that things were going to get better.

* * *

Okay first up sorry for the delay. I've been working 20+ hours the last week or so because its summer and the rest of the department are taking their holidays. I want to quickly answer two questions that seem to have been asked by a number of people.

First up no there is no sequel planned for this story. But that isn't a bad thing because this story is nowhere near finished. This story ends with the death of the Potters and I think that's going to make this story around about 200 chapters long, with the rate its going now.

Secondly the moving in development. No its not going as fast as it might seem, and there was an attempt by Lily to prevent this from happening. When Sammie was born. James wanted them to move in then but Lily put it on hold, but she's in love with him and things are moving nicely and they want to be a family. But as you notice they're still not moving in together yet.

Kris xx


	53. Fifty Three

Chapter 53

Its funny how time flies by when you're busy. Lily couldn't believe that she had left her parents house a month ago already. It didn't seem as if it should have been July yet. She had been so busy that time had really flown away from her.

She had moved in with Carly on the Thirteenth of June. It had surprised her how difficult that task was. She didn't have a lot of stuff to move in but it seemed that since Sirius and Remus had insisted on helping (since both now had a lot of free time on their hands) it took twice as long as it should have.

But finally she had gotten her stuff just where she had wanted it. The room she was sharing with Sammie wasn't the biggest but it was big enough for the pair of them. She'd gotten a bed in against the wall with the window. It wasn't an ideal place for it, but it had to do. As she looked at the bed she couldn't help but notice how small it was, it seemed like such a long time ago since she had last had a single.

Against the opposite wall though she had put up a cot. It took up a vast amount of room but she didn't really mind. Sammie was happy enough in it. Then against the other wall was a large wardrobe where not only her clothes were hung but Sammie's too (which admittedly were mainly Quidditch styled baby clothes). The last piece of furniture that had fitted in was a chest of draws which were behind the door.

The only decoration she had in the room were photos. She'd placed a photo of Larry above Sammie's bed so that the girl could look up at her father. Then there were photos of herself and Lyn messing around. A few of herself and Eddie at Quidditch games and of course ones of James.

Looking around her room felt distant but she didn't want to put anything else in it. This wasn't going to be a permanent stop for her. James was looking at houses for the pair of them to move into. She didn't see the point of messing up Carly's home more than she had to.

Other than the move it was rather quiet at the moment. Lily was bored of doing nothing, although being with Sammie did fill her days. She decided that a day out was needed and when the next Order meeting was called Lily left for Hogwarts with Sammie.

Lily had decided to leave early to go to the meeting. She spent the afternoon in Hogsmeade walking around the old village. She missed it. She found that as she sat in Madam Puddifoot's café memories invaded her brain. She couldn't help but remember being seventeen and sat in this café with James. She had thought that her life was planned, it was going to be so simple, but boy had she been wrong.

Its strange how when you are young you have ambitions that seem so easy to achieve. But Lily knew that her ambitions had changed. Yes she wanted to be successful. Yes she wanted to make a difference. But the main thing she now cared about was the little girl sat in the buggy. Sammie had quickly become her world.

"Oh what an adorable baby."

"Thank you Madam Puddifoot."

"Do you want anything for her?"

"No she's still on breast milk. You don't mind if I give her her bottle here do you?"

"Of course not dear. Anything for you then?"

"Could I just have a tea?"

The witch nodded and Lily thanked her. Picking Sammie up gently she found a bottle in one of the bags. Taking out her wand she did a simple heating spell on it and tested it against her wrist. She was becoming good at getting the temperature just right. Sammie happily took the bottle and Lily watched as she suckled it. Her pale green eyes were focused on Lily and gently she pushed back a few blonde curls.

"Here you go dear."

Lily smiled at the witch as she placed her tea on the table for her. She didn't reach for it though as she continued to feed Sammie. She watched as the baby's eyes started to drift shut and then she stopped feeding and was asleep. Gently Lily placed her back into the buggy and picked up her tea. She was so desperate to have a coffee now but since she was still breast feeding that wasn't allowed. She was hoping that Sammie would be ready for baby milk soon so she could get caffeine back in her life.

As three o'clock showed itself Lily left the café and strolled up towards the school. The meeting wasn't due until five thirty but she wanted to sit in the grounds for a little bit, let the country air play with Sammie's hair. She reached the gates and sent Saphine into the building. It wasn't long before Albus was walking down smiling.

"Lily, you're early."

"I know. I was hoping that you would let me sit in the grounds with Sammie. She's never seen a garden like the grounds before."

"Of course."

She smiled as Dumbledore opened the chains to let them inside. She waited as he locked them behind her and they walked up towards the castle together. They were both silent and Lily was looking around.

"I miss it here you know."

"I found that myself. It's why I returned to the school to teach."

"I'd love to do that."

Dumbledore smiled as he led Lily over to the soft grass. He waved his wand and a blanket appeared and he happily dropped onto it. Lily smiled as he patted the space next to him. She unstrapped Sammie from the buggy and sat next to her ex-Headmaster.

"You know Lily you're still young. One day you could very well find yourself as a professor here."

"I think I'd like that. Of course only when Sammie is older."

"Of course. One day maybe twenty, twenty five years from now Filius will want to retire. He always said you were the best student he'd ever taught. Maybe then you will be ready to return to this great school in his place."

"Charms professor me!"

"Why yes Lily. You'd be good at it I must say. Filius has always said that he would have to watch his job with you being around. I can't think of anybody I'd rather hire."

"That's sweet sir."

"So Lily I make you a promise. When Filius retires I shall come to you first to offer the position."

She smiled as Sammie grabbed for Dumbledore's beard.

"Sammie no! Don't do that it's naughty."

Then she heard it, or at least thought she did.

"Professor –"

"Albus."

"Did you hear that? I think Sammie just laughed."

The old man chuckled as he took the baby from Lily. He bounced her a little and sure enough the girl laughed.

"Indeed Lily. I believe your daughter has learnt the magic of laughter."

"That's the first time she's laughed Albus. My baby's laughing!"

Albus smiled looking at Lily. She knew that look.

"Yes she did. Now from this cheery little tyke to her jolly mother. How are you coping?"

"With Sammie alright. Sometimes it's hard. You know when she doesn't want to sleep. But we get through it."

"I'm glad to hear it. Although I was inquiring about the problems with your family."

"Oh that. Well I'm moving on."

"But do you want to?"

"When I left Hogwarts, four years ago…"

"Yes Lily what's wrong?"

"Four years ago. I can't believe it's been that long."

She looked up at the old professor and smiled at him. He seemed to know that she hadn't realised how much time had really passed. For a moment his eyes were on her, and then he was looking at Sammie. He didn't have much choice really since she was pulling at his beard with one hand while putting her fingers in his nose with the other.

"Anyway what was I saying? Oh yes when I left Hogwarts my parents made some things very clear. They had supported me through education but now it was time to live in the real world. I was their daughter and I would live like them. When I said no they told me they didn't want to see me again. I made my choice four years ago sir, to live without them."

"That may be the case Lily but they welcomed you back."

"For a while yes. Only because they didn't want me going through the difficulties alone. But nothing had changed. They still didn't like this part of my life. I'm just surprised they put up with it for as long as they did."

He chuckled as Sammie bounced on his lap.

"Yes well families can be like that. Have I ever told you about my brother Aberforth? He's a strange man, keeps himself to himself. Got into a spot of trouble a while ago and left thinking I wouldn't want anything to do with him. He of course couldn't have been more wrong. I didn't like what he did but he's still family."

Lily smiled gently.

"I have a family though Albus. Here in this world. I have a beautiful baby girl and an adorable boyfriend. Then I have a number of protective brothers, Eddie, Gideon, Sirius, Remus and Peter. Then I have a sister Carly. Oh and lets not forget my caring uncle."

She shot him a look and he grinned at her.

"Yes Uncle Albus. I hope your paying attention Sammie-Lynn. I'm going to take care of you and make sure you're alright in this world. Then when you're old enough I'm going to bring you here to Hogwarts and train you to be as good as your mummy."

Lily couldn't help but smile as she laid back in the sunshine. Yes life was good again.


	54. Fifty Four

Chapter 54

The lift stopped moving and Lily stepped out. She could hear annoyed voices up ahead and she followed that sound. Moody was stood by some desks his arms crossed against his chest. He didn't look at all impressed. Lily wasn't surprised. Standing in the middle of the room was Barty Crouch. His dark robes fell in a neat line and his dark hair sat orderly.

"I want you all to work twice as hard from now on."

"We're working as hard as we can sir."

"Nonsense Longbottom. If you were working your hardest we'd have more Death Eaters in Azkaban."

Lily saw a sour look go over Frank's face. She didn't blame him. The Aurors were doing their best possible job. But it was difficult to catch Death Eaters when you didn't know who they were. Yes you could guess but then you were likely to make mistakes.

"So I want at least two more captures a week."

Crouch turned and walked towards the lift. He passed Lily without giving her a sideways glance. The moment he was out of earshot riots broke out. Moody slammed his fist on the desk and everything went silent.

"Crouch may not be happy with the job we're doing but forget him. We keep doing what we've always done. Now get back to work all of you."

Lily watched as they all filed back to their desks. She slowly walked towards them. Fabian waved and she did the same back. As she reached Moody he turned and stared at her.

"What you doing here Evans?"

"Going to see Eddie. That a problem?"

"Only if you're going to be distracting him."

He gave her a look and then suddenly lowered his voice.

"I've got a job for you. Meet me at Snifter at eight tonight."

Before she could reply he'd moved over towards Frank. Shaking her head slightly she moved into the Healer offices. She found Eddie sat on a desk looking around the room.

"Alright so some mistakes were made on Thursday at the Sheerness attack. Now I don't want to lay blame on anybody –"

"Roger."

"Carly that's enough."

"Well I'm only saying what everyone is thinking. Roger messed up. He went into that hotel not knowing if the Death Eaters had left."

"I was there to help save lives. That means we're suppose to go in."

"But –"

"ENOUGH!"

Carly closed her mouth and Roger folded his arms in a manner just like Moody had. Eddie took a deep breath and continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.

"Now the mistake was going into that hotel. Yes there had been an attack, and yes there possibly were people there that needed to be saved. But the number one priority is to keep yourself safe. You do what the Aurors tell you."

"But –"

"But nothing Roger. Prewett told you to keep back while he and Longbottom searched the place and you disregarded his orders."

"He's not my boss."

"No he isn't. But he's a trained Auror. He knows what he's doing."

"I've been trained. They made me do a course before I came here."

"Yes. You did six weeks basic defence. He spent three years training and since then has been on the job two years. That's five years as an Auror compared to your six months here. If an Auror tells you to do something, you do it. No questions asked. If there had been a Death Eater in that hotel you would have alerted him to the Aurors. Not only did you put your life in danger but theirs as well."

"Yes sir."

"Yes sir indeed. That's one mistake Roger. Another one and you're off the team."

"That's so unfair."

"Look around Roger. This isn't like the hospital. There you're just trying to save lives. Here we're trying to prevent injuries. We're trying to keep people safe. But if we do our job wrong people will die. It's tougher than the hospital and you only get one mistake then you're gone."

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now I want a report from you on exactly how you should have behaved in that circumstance. Don't groan you're getting off lightly. Crouch wants you thrown into Azkaban for two weeks."

The man Roger turned and headed to a desk. Lily watched as Carly headed over to talk to Ryan Sunderland and Charlton Owen. Lily couldn't help but feel sorry for Eddie. The youngsters that were being sent through to them wanted action and adventure. They didn't want to play it safe.

Since the start of the programme they had lost many well trained Healers. From the twenty that had started the programme originally only seven remained, Eddie, Carly, Ryan, Charlton, Martha Peak, Stephanie Harris and Lily herself. The others had been sent back to the hospital due to putting others in danger, or being unable to cut it. Then of course Abs and Kenny had both been killed. That Roger didn't realise how serious what he doing was.

Lily was still in the doorway now though. As she stepped inside the room she felt more than saw somebody run inside. Alice stood a littler further in than she was herself.

"There are reports of an attack in Banbury; we think the Hurlies are being targeted. Eddie I'm taking Charlton and Carly with me. We need experience on this one; Moody said the reports are that the Death Eaters are attacking in the area still."

The two healers she'd called on stood up quickly. They were out of the room before Roger had yelled how it was unfair that they always called on the experienced ones. He then muttered about needing to get out there to get experienced.

"Roger if you don't shut it you'll be out of here before you can even mutter unfair."

Lily couldn't help the giggle that slipped through her lips and Eddie looked up at her.

"What you doing here?"

"Want to sort out a date to start back."

Lily sat on the table next to her friend and smiled.

"What? But you're not due back until October."

"We're at war Eddie. I want to help. Besides Sammie has plenty of people who want to take care of her."

"I hope 'Uncle Sirius' isn't one of them."

"Of course he is Eddie. But he's better now. He hasn't dropped her since that first time."

"Well that is good to know. Where is the darling anyway?"

"Gideon's taken her round to his sister's house. Wants to introduce her to her 'future husband'. He's adamant that she's going to marry that nephew of his, Percy Weasley."

Eddie laughed gently placing an arm around her shoulders.

"Yep I can just see it now. Our little Sammie walking down the aisle to be met by Percy Weasley, who of course is exactly like Gideon."

"But of course."

"So Lily when do you want to start back?"

"Next week."

"That soon!"

"Yeah. We're at the end of July now. So it'll be the first week of August that I come back. Plus I have the childcare sorted for the first month. Gideon doesn't start full time training until some time in September. So he said he'd have her everyday except for Monday mornings and Thursday afternoons. But Remus said if I need a sitter at those times he'll be happy to help, and if Sirius gets his way he'll be there too. See so I'm all set to come back to work."

"What about the fact you'll be leaving Sammie for hours at a time."

"It'll be a nice break. You know tracking down those vile people that killed her Aunty Lyn."

"Anything I can say to convince you to wait at least another month before coming back?"

"Nope nothing at all Eddie. If you don't want me back. Well I'll just change the rotas myself."

"Okay. How about a compromise?"

"Which is?"

"You don't come back full time right away. Just part time. So let's say you work all day Tuesday, Wednesday afternoon and then Friday afternoon."

"What about emergencies?"

"If there's an emergency you'll be contacted and you can drop Sammie over to Libby, or I don't know to that Percy Weasley's house if you must. Then you come out and help us."

Lily looked at Eddie carefully considering the offer. Then she stuck her hand out.

"Deal."

They smiled looking at each other for a moment. Until the silence was broken by the clanking of Moody's wooden leg.

"Eddie there's an attack in Drum up in Kinross-shire Scotland. We're going to need everyone up there."

"Drum, why there? It's tiny hardly a population."

"Caradoc Dearborn lives there."

Lily knew that this meant nothing to Eddie but it did mean something to her. Caradoc Dearborn was a member of the Order. She'd met him on a number of occasions. It seemed that the Death Eaters were after another one of their members.


	55. Fifty Five

Chapter 55

"Okay is everybody ready? We're heading to Drum in Kinross-shire in Scotland. I want you all to focus on that point. Lily where do you think you're going?"

Lily had run out of the offices belonging to the Healers and was following Moody.

"Do we know why he is targeting Dearborn?"

"He's been undercover at the lower levels. My guess he's blown his cover. I told Dumbledore it was a mistake putting Dearborn in, we'd have been better using Diggle, or even Podmore. But no Dearborn wanted the job."

Lily stepped into the lift with Moody and they headed down to the appariation point.

"Are the Order members going to join us sir?"

"It would be useful since Dearborn is one of us. But no this got to the ministry first. But Dumbledore will probably hear wind of this and turn up to see what's happened."

They'd reached the appariation point and Moody looked at her.

"You're still on leave, means you don't have to come."

"Like you said Dearborn is one of us. I'm going to help anyway I can."

"That's a girl."

Moody was gone instantly and Lily followed suit. As she materialised in the small Scottish town she quickly went to the floor. A purple hex flew over her head. Standing quickly she shot a stunner at one of the Death Eaters. She missed though.

From behind her she heard the other Healers arriving. But she didn't register that she should follow their lead. It didn't occur to her to fall back and let the Aurors fight. This was one where she was going to go head first into battle. She needed it. These monsters had taken so much from her. It was time she stood her ground and taught them a lesson.

She moved through the mass of fighters and found herself near Fabian. She saw one of the forbidden curses, possibly the Cruciatus curse. Without a seconds thought she yelled…

"EXPECTRO PATRONUM"

Saphine burst from her wand tip and positioned itself in front of Fabian. Taking the spell for the man. Neither acknowledged what had just been done they were too busy trying to survive the battle.

Time seemed to fly along with the hexes. It felt like it might have only been minutes or maybe even hours when a mass of pops echoed through the night. Lily looked to her right and spotted Frank stood there. He seemed to be looking for something, then he fell. She ran to him and looked at his leg. There was a lot of blood and she went to work doing her thing.

"Is anybody seriously injured?"

Lily grinned at Frank for a moment. But the man was looking at a house down the road.

"Lily they've gotten Dearborn."

"How'd you know?"

"That's his house."

She turned and saw the mass of rubble that had once been a home. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt Frank lean on her getting up.

"Frank you need to sit down."

"I need to go see if Dearborn is there."

"But Frank –"

He'd legged it across the street before she could stop him. He was badly injured though and his leg gave way part way across. Lily followed him pulling him to a stand.

"Frank maybe somebody else could –"

"No. Just help me over."

Lily and Frank moved slowly towards the rubble. As they reached it though they found Moody already climbing through it.

"He's not here!"

"What?"

Lily felt her mouth drop as Moody looked at them. This had to be good news he had to be out there somewhere, alive.

"They've taken him. We'll be lucky to ever see him again."

* * *

Okay so first sorry for the delay. There are just not enough hours in the day lately to get everything done that needs to be done. Secondly I was going to try and blackmail a certain reader coughFLOSScough by refusing to post anymore until she agreed to Saturday, however since its now Friday I think she probably will be able to go a few days without post. So that plans out.

Oh and I know this chapter is really short and after the long wait there should be more. I'm really sorry that there isn't more. But I really need to finish the chapter here because the story is moving on with the next chapter.

Anyway I'll try to post again soon but now I have work and university back on my plate. Seems like summer is over before it really started. But I shall try to post more, although that means I shall need to write more soon…

Kris xx


	56. Fifty Six

Chapter 56

The mood back in the ministry was mixed. Everybody felt downtrodden by what had happened. Several Aurors had been seriously injured in the fight among them Frank. They had been lucky that they hadn't lost anybody though. Crouch had been bouncing when they got back with only two Death Eaters. Apparently they should have captured more. They didn't respond though.

Lily rested her head against James' shoulder as Moody stood before them. Most of the Aurors were packed together in small circles whispering about what had happened, and who that mark had been for. It seemed that only Moody had the answers for this one. So Moody had gathered James, Fabian and Lily around him, the only Order members in the office.

"What do you think happened to him Sir?"

"We can only speculate Fabian, but my guess. I wouldn't put money on seeing Dearborn again."

"But I escaped."

Moody's eyes moved to Lily and she could see he was measuring her up.

"Yes you did but –"

"Moody Sir!"

The four looked up to see Alice come walking in with Carly and Charlton following behind.

"How'd it go Longbottom?"

Alice was shaking her head slowly.

"We got there too late Sir. There was only one Death Eater left. He was tricky though Sir. I've never seen anybody fight like that. He got away."

"And the Hurlies."

"All dead Sir. We found Mina and Jack at the bottom of the stairs, looked like the killing curse. But their children. It was horrible..."

Alice just looked ahead her eyes glazed. Lily shared a look with Carly and the woman sighed.

"Their daughter, Kordelia, had her neck snapped right in half. But it was the son Duncan. I've never seen anything like it. He was only young what eight or nine. They bleed him dry. There were cuts all over his body and he was in a pool of blood. It was just sick."

Lily felt the colour drain from her face. James' arm became tighter around her as they sat there. Charlton who had been very quiet slowly spoke up.

"Where's Eddie and the rest of them?"

Lily was the one to reply to his question.

"While you've been gone there's been an attack. Up in Scotland, quite a few injuries. They're all in the hospital."

"We should –"

"Don't bother Charlton. If I was you I'd just go write the report on what you've just seen. Get it done before Roger comes back and starts complaining."

Charlton and Carly headed to the Healer offices but Alice stood still looking at them.

"Where's Frank?"

Fabian wrapped an arm around Alice's shoulders.

"He's alright, just injured his leg. He's in having it sorted. You sit here and listen to this."

They all looked at Moody and he cleared his throat.

"Alright. Voldemort's supporters attacked Drum up in Kinross-shire. The ministry have no idea why they targeted the area but we do. Dearborn was hiding out up there. It seems he blew his cover and they went after him."

Alice gasped looking at the four in turn.

"He's okay though isn't he?"

James spoke up for the first time since they arrived back.

"He wasn't there. His house was a pile of bricks the Dark Mark was hung over it but he wasn't there."

"But he'll be okay. I mean Lily and I got away when we were captured."

Moody shook his head lightly.

"I doubt it. No listen to me alright. Dearborn was a good wizard but he was average. That's why he was so important to us. He didn't have the strength that you pair have. There's no-one there to help him escape. I think he's probably already dead. The Death Eaters probably killed him and then took the body back to Voldemort."

"But why would he want the body?"

"As an example Alice. He'll use the body to scare the other Death Eaters. Show them what happens to anybody that isn't true to him."

They sat there just thinking as around them people were discussing how lucky it was nobody was killed. None of the others knew the truth, they didn't realise that yet another of the secret resistance had been taken. Dark times were truly on their way now.

* * *

I just want to say thank you to everyone that has reviewed. Over 500 reviews. Thank you all so much. 


	57. Fifty Seven

Chapter 57

Lily sat down in the living room with the boys. Sammie was silently sleeping in the Moses basket over in the corner. They had been discussing the two attacks that had happened earlier that day. They could see the sense in taking out Dearborn but they couldn't see why the Hurlies had been targeted.

"She was pureblood though wasn't she?"

James was looking at Sirius and he nodded slowly.

"Yeah Mina was Armod Wilkes younger sister."

Lily wasn't sure what this connection meant and Sirius it seemed knew this.

"We're not a hundred percent sure but we think Wilkes is a Death Eater. He's always been very much purity is the only way to go kind of guy."

"But why does that matter about Mina?"

Sirius smiled lightly taking a sip of his drink.

"Mina was close friends with my cousin Narcissa. She was a pureblood witch expected to marry a pureblood wizard. But she didn't. Instead she chose to marry Jack. He was a muggleborn and the family they didn't like it. I remember we were only about thirteen at the time. My mother went on for days about how Mina was breaking Olivia's heart, marrying a filthy mudblood."

He barked a laugh that sounded very forced.

"Mother hated the idea as much as Olivia did. She spent ages afterwards telling Regulus and me how we had to find good women of pureblood status otherwise our children would be tainted. Mina's family was just sick. I wouldn't put it passed Wilkes to have done it out of spit."

"It's the children I feel sorry for."

Lily looked at Peter. He was staring into the fire without really seeing.

"They were too young to be able to do magic. They obviously weren't a threat to the Death Eaters. They should have just used the killing curse and made it quick. But to drain the blood out of the boy. Why?"

Lily didn't want to think about that. She shook her head lightly and caught a look at the clock. It was nearly eight o'clock. Standing up she looked at James.

"You couldn't do me a favour?"

"Anything for you."

"Keep an eye on Sammie. I've got to met Moody."

"You never said."

They were silent not mentioning the reasons behind this meeting. She didn't know the details but she knew it was for the Order, she knew it would be dangerous. The boys knew it too.

"Keep safe Evans."

"Don't worry about me Black, I can keep my own."

She smiled before disapparating from the house. She arrived at the Snifter on time and found Moody stood outside in the shadows.

"Evans. Good you made it."

"What's going on sir?"

"You're an old friend of Kayleigh Shepard aren't you?"

"I went to school with her."

"Yes well Dumbledore said you were close."

"We haven't been since I left school."

"Doesn't matter. You know the girl you can talk to her."

"What's going on Moody?"

"We think she's a Death Eater. We're pretty sure that she's here to organise an attack. We need somebody in there."

"And you want me to do it."

"Well who else is there?"

She knew the answer to that. But she couldn't just walk in there on her own. It seemed Moody knew what she was thinking.

"Just go in, get to the bar and order a drink."

"She'll think I'm a loony being there on my own."

"Tell her you're waiting for a friend, they're running late."

"But Moody –"

"Just get in there."

She felt his hand against her back as he pushed her towards the door. She opened it and stepped inside. It was rather disserted and she couldn't help but understand why. It wasn't the nicest of places in the world. In fact it was rather shabby; she'd seen cupboards nicer than this place.

As she walked among the tables she spotted Kayleigh at the bar. The girl hadn't changed much in four years. Her hair was still the colour of butter falling neatly down to her shoulders. Even from a distance Lily could tell that she still held that air of importance that had always followed her.

"What can I get you Miss?"

Lily looked up at the barman and smiled gently.

"I'll have a cherry syrup and soda, with ice."

"Right away Miss."

She sat on the stool and looked around. The place had an old smell to it. It reminded her of the library in Hogwarts. But the smell just didn't seem right in a bar. When the man placed her drink down she paid him before taking a small sip. Then taking a breath she looked straight at Kayleigh and put on the friendliness voice she could.

"Kayliegh?"

The woman turned and looked at her. For a moment Lily was sure she saw her crystal blue eyes cloud over and then she smiled.

"Lily. Wow it's been a while. How are you?"

"Really well. Having a night out, you know I need it. But how about you?"

"Yeah I'm doing okay. Who you here with?"

"Well I'm suppose to be meeting a friend, but they haven't turned up yet. You?"

"Same."

The two just nodded staring at each other. Lily was finding it very awkward. She couldn't believe that only four years ago she could tell this girl anything and now she was struggling to find a topic.

"So Kayleigh what do you do now?"

"I work in Diagon Alley, a shop called Twillfit and Tatting's."

"Isn't that a robe shop?"

"Yes it's a very expensive robe shop so not everybody can shop there."

Lily nodded taking a sip of her drink.

"You're a Healer aren't you?"

"Yes. Although I'm still on maternity leave. Not sure when I go back, sometime in October."

"Oh yes _you_ had a baby."

"Yes I did and she's beautiful. I wouldn't change it for the world."

The other girl became silent for a moment.

"Is it true you're dating James Potter again?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"What about you?"

"Single. It's much better. I can do whatever I want with whoever I want and nobody can say anything."

Lily just nodded. How the hell could she ever have been friends with this girl? She was so shallow and arrogant.

"So have you seen Stephanie and Louise lately?"

"Oh no. Stephanie lives in New Zealand now. She's working as the British representative to the Department of International Magical Cooperation out there. Then as for Louise she's either in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, she's in the Goblin liaison office, or she's with Derek her fiancée."

"She's getting married I didn't know that."

"Yeah well there's a lot you don't know now isn't there."

Lily didn't say anything as a man walked towards them. He was rather tall; around six foot four with black hair. He scowled as he came near them and Kayleigh quickly turned to Lily.

"It was nice talking to you."

She then turned her back to Lily and started a conversation with the man. It was rather hushed and Lily was finding it difficult to overhear. She gave a squeal of fright as a hand landed on her shoulder.

"Alice!"

"Sorry I'm late. It's Frank he's acting like a complete baby because of his leg. You'd swear it had fallen off or something. Give me some nettlewine, and whatever she wants."

Lily picked up the drink that the barman had just placed in front of her. Alice was stood the other side close to Kayleigh and the man. They were silent as Alice listened closely to what was being said. Kayleigh began to turn and Lily spoke up quickly.

"So what they do to Frank's leg then?"

"Oh they reset it. He broke it or something. But you know what men are like, they're such big babies. I swear he was acting like it was the end of the world."

"Bye Lily."

"Oh bye Kayleigh, it was good to catch up."

"Yeah we'll have to go to lunch sometime."

"I'd like that."

"I'll send you an owl."

As Kayleigh left followed by the man Lily turned to look at Alice.

"Bet I never hear from her again."

"You better hope so after what I just heard."


	58. Fifty Eight

Sorry there's been a bit of a delay. My dad has been in and out of hospital since Wednesday so its been a bit hectic. Not sure when I'll be able to post again

Chapter 58

Alice dropped into the seat in front of her desk. Lily watched as Moody moved over towards them. He wore a scowl on his face but she could see it was because he was annoyed. He lowered himself onto the desk opposite so he was facing the pair.

"So you spoke to her Lily what do you think?"

"How come I didn't realise how arrogant she is before now?"

Alice shrugged but she was sure she heard Moody mutter something under his breath.

"That's not what I meant –"

"I know. She's really arrogant though Sir. I think she believes she's better than the rest of us. My guess is that she's the exact type of witch that Voldemort would want working for him."

He nodded as Alice cleared her throat.

"She was meeting with Isaak Avery."

This time Lily caught the small syllable that came from Moody's lips. She was a little confused by this though.

"Who's Isaak Avery, I've heard of Roald, he was in my year in school."

Moody's normal eye was on her as his magical one went to the back of his head.

"Isaak is Roald's father. He was in school with Voldemort so we know he's connected to him. It's not looking good for your old friend."

Lily didn't really care. Something about the way Kayleigh had spoken to her made it clear that the girl wasn't nice. But why would she be working for Voldemort? Why would she be a Death Eater?

"I can't work out why she'd be a Death Eater though? I mean she use to be so nice."

"When you were in Hogwarts Lily. You've been in the real world for what four years. It changes a person. Maybe she got dating a really bad guy and now she's so caught up in it all that she thinks the same that he does."

"She told me she's single."

Alice just shrugged as Moody made a signal for them to shut up.

"Ahh Alastor I've been looking for you."

"Minster Pepper what are you doing up here?"

"What this is my office."

Lily saw Moody stand up and gently place his hand on the Minster of Magic's back.

"Minster this is the Auror headquarters."

"Really. Oh well never mind that. I want you to start writing up the paper work to realise Le Carré."

"What? Sir he's a Death Eater."

"Don't be so silly Alastor my brother in law is no Death Eater."

Lily knew that the Auror's magical eye was pointing at her and Alice. They both turned around to look at something on the blonde's desk.

"Sir it's late. Why don't you head home for the evening and then in the morning I'll come to the office with the paperwork."

"Right yes. I should really get home otherwise Rhonda will be having kittens. We're having dinner with her parents tonight."

Lily turned to watch him walk away. He was scratching the back of his head where a bald patch was appearing through the sandy hair. Moody sat down making a strange noise that drew her attention.

"Poor man, he's going insane."

"How'd you know that?"

"Rhonda's parents were killed last June by Death Eaters."

The all went silent for a moment and then Alice spoke up.

"Maybe they suspect us."

"What?"

"Well the Minster is being controlled by them. Maybe Avery thought we were listening in and sent Pepper to try and see what we had heard."

They looked over their shoulders and Moody spoke almost silently.

"What did we hear?"

Lily shrugged so he looked at Alice.

"She said she's in a position to get information. Apparently she's close to somebody that can get all the information that Voldemort will need. I can't work out who though."

The three went silent wondering who she could have gotten her claws into.


	59. Fifty Nine

Chapter 59

"Open your eyes."

"Take your hands off them then!"

James' hands suddenly flew from Lily's eyes and she blinked at the sudden sunlight. It took her a few moments to get her eyes focusing. The first thing that her eyes caught was a large green hedge. It easily reached her height if not a little taller. She looked at it and was surprised to see that it formed an arch over a gate.

"James where are we?"

"You'll see."

He opened the gate and ushered her inside. Her eyes went first to the cottage that stood among the garden. It was a two story building made of white stone. However the white was broken up by ivy which had climbed up the left side of the building between the window and the door.

"What do you think?"

"James the house it looks beautiful."

"Have you looked at the front garden?"

Her eyes moved from the house to the small garden that stood in front of it. From the gate there was a cut path of flagstone leading to the front door of the house. On either side was lush green grass. She walked a small way up the path and looked to the left. She gasped as she saw a small pond there.

She moved over the grass and bent over the water. It wasn't the deepest pond she had ever seen, nor was it covered in plants. In fact as she looked at it there were only two types of plant on it. The first was a lotus plant that she was sure was called Alba Grandi although she wasn't a hundred percent. Her mother had always been the flower expert but the white blossom was just gorgeous. But mixed around the white was a yellow flower. She smiled as she looked at it, the edges were turning red. Yes she knew this flower; it had always been one of her mother's favourites, Andreana also known as Water Lily.

"Pretty isn't it."

Lily nodded turning to look at James.

"Who lives here?"

His eyes locked on hers and he stepped close to her.

"Nobody yet."

"What?"

"I bought it."

Her eyes widened as she looked at her surrounds again. It took on a new feel now. This was amazing and she was going to live here. She was going to be living with James Potter in this wonderful place.

"How did you find it?"

"With difficulty I'll tell you that. It took me, Sirius, Remus and Gideon to find this place."

"You've all been up here!"

"Sure have. Gideon and Fabian put that pond together for me. I trimmed the hedges and painted the house, with Sirius' help. Then Remus and Peter worked on the back garden. Do you like it?"

"I love it. But we can't keep the pond."

"What? Why?"

"It's too dangerous for Sammie. We can't have a pond and a small child."

"Ahh thought ahead there. We've already put a safety spell on it. Try and put your hand in, go on."

Lily put her hand towards the water. She connected with the cold liquid but as she tried to lower her hand further in than just her fingers she found that she couldn't.

"Wow where'd you get that?"

"Fabian did it. He asked Arthur what spell they used on his."

She nodded and as she moved her fingers she noticed something come to the surface. She squealed jumping backwards. James was chuckling behind her so she turned to look at him.

"Gideon put some Rudd and Sticklebacks in there. He said a pond isn't a pond without fish."

"Is there anything else in there now James?"

"Sirius put tadpoles in, and some frogs."

She nodded slowly stepping backwards. His arms came around her waist and she leaned onto him.

"Come on Sammie will love the pond. Especially when the frogs are jumping around the place."

"As long as she doesn't take them inside otherwise it's your problem."

"Yes honey."

She couldn't help but smile as she turned to look at James.

"So the front garden is lovely but do I get to see inside?"

He grinned as he waved a set of keys at her. They raced to the front door and as Lily reached it James reached out pulling her close to him.

"Now the house needs a lot of work. I wanted to wait so you could have a say."

She nodded as he opened the door. She stepped inside and grinned. They were in a hallway. It was quite narrow but went quite a way back into the house. In fact at the end was a staircase leading to the upper levels.

"Follow me Miss Evans."

James took her hand leading her through the door on the right. He was right about it needing a lot of work, it was bare. She could see the plaster on the walls. It was a decent size though and on the wall was cut a stone fireplace. Perfect for the open fire they'd need for the floo network.

"I was thinking that this could be our living room."

"Yeah. We can put the sofa over against that wall and then have armchairs spread over there, and another by there. Oh and there's space for a bookcase by there so I can have my books in here."

"I knew you'd say that."

"Why what would you put there?"

"Don't know. A chess set for when Sirius comes over."

She shook her head walking up to the other end of the room. It connected into another area very much similar.

"Oh look we can make this a play area for Sammie and all the little brothers and sisters that she's going to have."

"Umm. Well I was thinking that we could put the stairs in here to lead upstairs."

"What about the hall."

"Well I was talking to Peter about it. He thinks it might be better to knock that through."

"Why?"

"Well the kitchen is the other side so we can make that bigger so that we can fit a big table in there for when everyone comes over. Then we can make a little poach for the entrance and block up the hallway and expand the rooms either side."

"To make the living room bigger."

"Yes and the study/toy room."

"Study/toy room?"

He took her hand and led her back out into the hallway and into the room on the left. It was decent size and he smiled looking around.

"See we can fit a desk over there for us. You know if you have a report that you need to write or I do and we've come home we can do it in here. But we could also store all of Sammie's toys in here."

"That's a good idea that way when Sirius comes over he can just make a mess of this room instead of the living room."

James laughed as he followed Lily out of the room. She headed to the back room on the left. It was clear that this was the old kitchen. There was an open fireplace here like in the living room and also a tap. However that's all there was. It was a pretty bare kitchen. However Lily's focus had slipped to the French doors that led out into a large garden.

"Wow."

She had opened them and stepped back out into the sun before James could react. It was beautiful. There was a paved area where she could set up a patio set for them all to sit at in weather like today. Then there was a large green belt running all the way to a small standing shrub hedge.

As she walked towards it she spotted a vegetable patch on the far right against the shrub boarder. She could just picture Peter on his knees planting all these amazing vegetables and herbs that he could use in his cooking.

Tearing her eyes away from that she spotted patches of flowers. There were bluebells bunched together in one place, then a bit further along Dog Rose which was a lovely pink colour now. Then over to the other side there were Yellow Iris. She could also see Tulips, Petunias, Busy Lizzie and Heather. Her garden was beautiful.

At the end of the garden was obviously a wood or maybe a forest. Large oaks tree stood over the property reminding her of the Forbidden Forest in Hogwarts. Yes it was beautiful, everything she had always wanted and more.

"You like it don't you."

"It's beautiful."

"Want to see upstairs?"

"Is it like downstairs?"

James nodded and Lily kissed him.

"How about we look at decorating catalogues. The sooner we get this done the sooner we can live together."

---

Just so you know I'm quickly running out of post for this story and have writers block. So due to this I have no idea when the next update will be

Kris


	60. Sixty

First I'm sorry that its taken so long to post this. Blame a mixture of work, parents being on holiday and a 21st birthday tomorrow for a good mate of mine that I've been preparing for.

Second there's going to be lacks of posts on a regular basis now. University official starts tomorrow (although lectures not until 2nd October) this means my attention has to fall to that since its my last year. But I shall post maybe once every week, maybe two. I shall try though

Kris

* * *

Chapter 60

August was well in now. The first two weeks had nearly flown by. Well almost. Lily was back in work like she had planned. She found that she needed to be doing something. No matter the fact that Sammie was her world she needed to feel like she was doing something in this war, and that's what work was.

Everyone though was busy. James had roped Remus, Peter, Sirius and Gideon into helping him do up the house. He reckoned that since the two Quidditch stars were only part time at the moment and Remus was unemployed they had a lot of time to spare. It was almost true. So Lily hadn't been to her new house in the village of Godric's Hollow since that first day. Not that she minded.

Yes Lily had had another reason to want to be back at work. She needed to be busy more now than ever. It seemed that everyone had forgotten what had happened only a year earlier. Had it really only been a year? She couldn't really get it through her head that this time last year she had been happily preparing for her wedding to Larry.

It had come around fast that year. But so much had happened. She had become part of the secret resistance that he had been a part of. She had found out that she was going to have Sammie and ended up moving back home to her parents. Then there was the capture and Lyn's death. It had been a mixed year she was aware of that more than anything. Something bad happened then something good.

There was one thing bothering her and that was the fact that she would be alone on the thirteenth, the anniversary of Larry's death. James was going to be up in Godric's Hollow with all the guys working away again. Eddie had booked the day off and was taking Kim to the seaside with Libby and Carly was going to be in work. Yes it would be her and Sammie and that was all.

A bang sounded and Lily turned to see Carly enter the flat. She looked shattered.

"Evening Lily."

"Carly."

Her friend dropped into the chair closing her eyes. Lily closed her own remembering that only a year ago she had done the same thing with Lyn. Life wasn't fair.

"You okay, you look a little pale."

"Yeah I'm fine Carly."

"You should be glad you weren't in work this afternoon. Roger was in. I swear if I could get away with it I'd kill him."

"He can't be that bad."

"Martha and I went with James down to Stonehenge. There'd been a riot between some wizards that worship the thing and muggle tourists. Well Roger pulled a hissy fit because James didn't ask him to go."

"That's the way; we all go out on different calls."

"Yeah well Roger is still complaining about experience and all that rubbish. You know I think I'm just going to take a bath."

"You going out with Remus tonight?"

"No my sister Ria is in town for the weekend. So I've got to go for a meal with her. Just lovely."

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"Yeah she's older than me. She's a Curse Breaker for Gringotts stationed in Italy though because that's were her fiancé Paolo lives."

"Oh so she's come to visit you then?"

"Nope got called back by Gringotts for some important meeting. But now she's here she just has to meet up with me so she can tell me how wonderful her life is compared to mine."

"Know the feeling there."

Carly nodded as she walked into the bathroom. Lily picked up her glass of wine and looked at the magazine in front of her. It was copy of the Quidditch monthly from last August. On the front cover was Larry in his wedding tux. He looked stunning and she could just see him standing in front of her in that outfight. His blue eyes sparkled out of the cover and his blonde hair just fell perfectly around his face. Yes he was still gorgeous, and just looking at his picture brought back all her feelings.

Without meaning to she opened the magazine and flipped through to the pages she had looked at so many times.

_This month was to see the wedding of one of England's best Chasers Lawrence Matthews. Quidditch Monthly had the rights to cover his special day so that all the fans could see it. Unfortunately as the world now knows that day never came. However we have decided to post the photos that he posed for._

_As you can see from these Matthews was very happy with his life. He was all smiles throughout the take and couldn't take his eyes from the gorgeous Lily Evans. The rumours have been flying and we feel unable to comment on their private life. However as these pictures show this was a couple very much in love and fate has torn them from one another._

Lily looked at the pictures of herself in the white dress that she had never worn down the aisle. She looked so happy and she remembered the feeling that life had sorted itself out. Larry's arms were around her and they looked just perfect together. She had really loved him.

She turned the page again and found one not only of the two of them. No in that one stood Eddie and Gideon with them, along with Lyn and Megan. It seemed like a life time ago that they had done that. Could it really have only been a year ago that very day they had all stood together laughing? Above them was a caption about question time with Matthews. Lily allowed herself to read the questions again.

_Doug: Lawrence you seem very much in love now, but have you ever had your heart broken?_

_Lawrence: Yes. Everyone gets their heartbroken at least once in life. I was fourteen years old and completely smitten with this girl Mia Davis. So I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out and she laughed at me. Then a few days later she came up to me and asked me to introduce her to Fabian Prewett (Gideon Prewett's brother) who was my best friend because she liked him._

_Doug: And did you?_

_Lawrence: Reluctantly I did. But Fabian turned her down and went out with her best friend instead. We were all horrible in school._

_Doug: (laughing) Yes well everyone's done it. But here's what everyone wants to know, why did you pick Lily Evans?_

_Lawrence: You can't help who you fall in love with. She's my perfect flower. I just remember going into St. Mungos after a training accident and having her treat me. I looked in her eyes and that was it, she had me. Took me a bit longer to convince her mind._

_Doug: Was there anything that you didn't like about her when you started dating?_

_Lawrence: She was a Harpies supporter. I mean my girl had to support the Arrows. Well ideally anyway. We've come to a compromise; she supports the Harpies and the Arrows now._

_Doug: Yes indeed. Now it's easy to see that you're in love. Do you really think this will last though?_

_Lawrence: Why wouldn't it? Lily and I love each other and as long as that is the case we'll be together. There are people that would like to break us up, people from our pasts but we're strong and the only way we'll be apart is by death._

Lily's eyes watered. She couldn't read anymore of the interview. No it just wasn't fair. Yes she loved James and was happy with where her life was. She just wished that she hadn't had to lose so much in order to find him. As she heard the bathroom door open she stood up and walked to her bedroom. She wouldn't let her friend see her cry.


	61. Sixty One

Chapter 61

The flat was silent. Lily sat on the sofa just staring into space. A year. It had been a year. She knew that in the year she had moved on, more than maybe she should have. But it felt so raw today more than ever. She had tried to think of things to do but couldn't get it off her mind whatever she did.

It was still early only just past ten. That made it so much worse. She still had so much of the day to pass. Sammie was sat in her highchair happily banging some building blocks together. Lily was finding it difficult to look at the small girl today; she kept seeing Larry more than ever.

"This is stupid."

She covered her face with her hands and heard Sammie gurgle. Shaking her head she stood up. She knew what she had to do. Something that she had never done. Not once in a year. She found her sandals and slipped them on. Then pulling Sammie out from her highchair picked up her baby carrier.

It was boiling outside so holding her daughter close and the carrier in her other hand she left the building with a small pop. When she reached her destination she felt a little nervous. Gently she placed Sammie into the carrier and walked along the pebble path. She looked around at all the headstones surrounding her and felt a lump in her throat.

She knew that Larry's family thought her heartless for never visiting his grave but she couldn't. It made her think that it was final. Yes she knew that it had happened, she'd accepted it but part of her felt like it was a dream due to the fact she'd never seen it.

Slowly Lily stepped off the path and walked among the stone. She hated graveyards so much. They were bleak places filled with lost dreams and bitter endings. She gently made her way across the grass to the place she knew to be Larry's final resting place.

However as she reached it she was met with a surprise. Roberta, Victor and Megan were stood around the headstone. All were in black and she could see tears running down their faces. She didn't want to see them, not today. She wasn't up for an argument. Unfortunately she was spotted.

"Get out."

Roberta's eyes had slimmed as she watched her. But taking a breath Lily stepped forward so she was next to Megan.

"You can't force me away Roberta. You can push me out of your lives but not away from here. It's not your right."

"My right. You little slut. You played with my son like a cat does with a mouse. Had another man's baby and think that you still have a right here."

"Roberta leave it lets go."

"No Victor she should leave."

"Mum don't make a scene. Not today. Lily has a right to be here even if we don't like it."

Roberta huffed but relented. She placed her flowers on the headstone and turned.

"I'll come back soon baby when the horrible tart has left."

She walked away with Victor. Megan stopped for a moment and Lily saw her eyes go to Sammie. A small smile spread to her lips and then she turned her back on the pair and walked away. Lily was left to stand with Sammie looking at the grave of a man she had loved, and the father of her daughter.

"Sorry it's taken me so long Larry. I just couldn't come. But you must understand that. Things are so messed up. I mean this time last year things were great with us and now…"

Laughter ran through the air and Lily looked at her daughter.

"Larry I'd like you to meet Sammie-Lynn. I know you can guess who she is. She looks just like you. Gideon reckons you'd have spoilt her rotten, so he's trying to make up for it. He's not the only one though. No she has a lot of uncles trying to help fill the gap that having no dad made, but they won't be able to."

She sighed gently as she let her legs drop away from under her.

"I miss you so much Larry. I know that I act like I'm tough and that I can cope but I miss you. I just want to be able to hold you once more. I need to hear your voice need to say that I love you and hear you say the same thing back."

"It's stupid I know because I love James but I can't help it. My heart belongs to two men and it's always going to be that way. He's a good man you know. He really does care for me but he knows that part of me belongs to someone else. Just like you knew part of me belonged to him even when we were dating."

"You know I keep having this dream over and over again. I'm stood at the alter with James and the vicar asks if there's any reason why we can't marry. Then suddenly you appear and stop the wedding. I'm left standing there between the pair of you and I can't choose. That's my life though. Every time I'm with James I fell like I'm cheating on you, and yet then I feel stupid because it's James."

"I just wish that this was a nightmare. That I'll wake up any moment and find you in the kitchen burning the toast like you always did. I wish that Voldemort hadn't turned up that night that we had been given the chance to be together. Part of me knows that in the end we wouldn't have worked because James is so persistent, he'd have gotten to me. But I wish we had had that chance. That Sammie could have been held by you once. That we could have had photos of you two together. It's not right!"

"But I suppose we can't live our lives with what ifs. I'll never have a life if I do that. But Larry no matter what I do love you. I always will and nothing and nobody will ever change that. I just want to be able to tell you that once more. To be able to kiss you and have you tell me that everything will be alright. But it won't be will it?"

Tears glazed Lily's eyes and ran down her cheeks. But she didn't move to wipe them away. No instead she leaned forward and took Sammie out of her seat and sat her on the grass.

"Sammie do you see that. That marks the place where your daddy will forever be. He wishes that he could be with you right here, but he can't. But that doesn't mean that he isn't watching out for you. No he's inside of you forever and nobody can take him away from you."

The little girl gurgled and ripped the grass from the roots. Lily just sighed. Her eyes scanned the lettering again.

_Lawrence Matthews_

_Loved by many_

_Missed by all_

The words spoke loudly to her. Nothing written on there of his loves, of his goals. No just of the love that people had for him. But he had loved people as much as they had loved him. Lily's eyes closed and she pictured him in front of her smiling.

"Larry please forgive me for everything. I love you so much but life truly does go on. That's why I've agreed to move in with James. It's a fabulous house in the country with lots of space for Sammie to grow. It's the sort of house that you would have loved."

Lily's eyes opened as Sammie pulled at her face. She couldn't help but smile at the little girl.

"James is going to adopt her. I've got the papers back home and we're going to sign them. We're not taking anything away from you though Larry. We know that she is your daughter and so will she. But I plan to spend the rest of my life with James, and I know you'd approve to that. That means that he's going to be the father of all my other children and we don't want Sammie to feel that she doesn't belong."

A click sounded from behind Lily and she turned quickly. There was nobody there but she felt uneasy all of a sudden. Something was wrong and she couldn't quite figure what. She stood quickly putting Sammie back in her carrier.

"Goodbye Larry."

With a turn and a pop Lily was gone. But from among the graves two people stood tall. One man and one woman. Both exchanged smiles as they looked at the spot the woman had just left. Lily had been right something was indeed wrong, and she'd discover the truth in the morning…


	62. Sixty Two

Chapter 62

Lily opened her eyes against the sunlight. She was drained for some unknown reason. But that didn't matter. No she had to get up and ready for work. A glance at her clock told her that she would be late unless she left now.

Quickly she threw clothes on and ran into the kitchen. As she entered she was startled to find Gideon at the table with a cup of coffee already in front of him.

"Morning Lily."

"Morning. What you doing here so early?"

"Thought I'd come check on you."

Lily raised an eyebrow at Gideon as she sat opposite him for a moment. It was a while before it dawned on her what he meant.

"I'm fine. Honest."

"Sorry you were on your own. I suppose it just slipped all our minds."

"You were busy. Don't worry about it. I should be getting to work anyway."

"Is Sammie still asleep?"

"Yeah. Hey you couldn't give her a bath for me when she wakes up could you?"

"Sure thing Lily."

"Thanks Gid."

Picking up a banana Lily disparated from the apartment heading for the ministry. As she arrived she became aware of looks from those around her. Dismissing it as nothing major she headed towards the lifts. As the grates opened the eyes all moved to her. Shaking her head slightly she moved to the corner and waited to reach the Auror department.

The ride up to the floor seemed to take forever. Of course it was no longer than normal. But everyone was shooting her odd looks and she just felt out of it. This wasn't right at all. The grates opened and she happily left them.

Walking through the offices she was a little surprised by the amount of heads that turned to look at her. There were soft smiles and little nods in her direction. Something had to be up.

"EVANS!"

Lily turned to see Moody moving over to her.

"Yes Sir."

"Eddie has sent an owl in, he's off sick today. You're in charge of the department."

"Okay Sir."

"There's a lot of paperwork on Charlton's desk. There's reports that need checking and signing and then sent to Crouch by the end of today. Then there's six Healers being sent back to the hospital. I need you to review their files and sign off on that. You are capable of that aren't you?"

"Yes Sir."

Turning slowly she headed towards the Healers offices. She could still feel eyes on her. Turning again she saw about five people quickly dive behind their cubicles. Something was defiantly up.

"Morning."

Lily smiled gently as she walked into the offices. It was still quite early so few people had arrived yet. Charlton was sat hunched over a desk working on some report and Roger was lounging in his chair.

"Look the great Lily Evans has arrived for work."

"Roger what the hell are you on about?"

"I've finally worked out how this place works. You suck up you get the jobs."

"That's enough Roger."

"No Charlton it isn't."

Roger got up and stormed passed Lily into the Auror headquarters.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Just ignore him he's not happy that you've been put in charge since Eddie is off sick."

"But what did he mean about me."

"Nothing."

Charlton hadn't looked up once from his report. So Lily guessed that it couldn't have been that important because if it had been he would have looked at her. So Lily moved over to Eddie's station and looked at the rota. It seemed that they were expecting a quiet day today then since the only staff down to work were Charlton, Lily, Roger and a new recruit by the name of Rio.

Looking at the paper work on Eddie's desk Lily started to file through it. She was use to doing all the reports. Eddie had asked her to help out before and during her pregnancy she had been left with it all.

Flicking through the white report forms she added dates and signed her name at the bottom. Then she placed them in the out box to be sent to Crouch. When she had read through all the reports she sat back rubbing her eyes. They were stinging.

"Lily fancy a coffee?"

"Oh thanks Charlton."

He nodded heading out into the Auror area where the coffee machine was located. With a sigh Lily looked at the list of blue slips she had in front of her. There were a number of people it seemed heading back to the hospital.

Slowly stretching Lily headed over to the employee cabinet. Inside were copies of all their files, complete with reports and slips. She flicked through it pulling out Eva Frank, Anna Bush, John Church, Freddie Irving, Rebecca Anderson and Katie Bowler. All six had been out on training but had failed in the field. It was a tough job to handle.

A coffee mug went down next to her and she smiled up at Charlton.

"Thanks."

"It's alright. Umm … Lily you haven't seen the Prophet today have you?"

"No why?"

"I think that you should take a look."

_**One Year On.**_

_Yesterday marked a sorrow day for the sporting community of the wizarding world. Yes yesterday was the one year anniversary of the death of Lawrence Matthews. We at the prophet paid our respects yesterday with a look at the man in life. However today in our Sunday special we have decided to look at the response of the wizarding world._

_Yesterday at the training ground of the Arrows the fans laid flowers down. Surprisingly not one of his remaining team mates was present. However when we caught up with Gideon Prewett late yesterday afternoon he explained this to us._

"_Today marks a sad day in Quidditch history but its more personal for all that knew him. It's difficult to go back there and think that a year ago he was with us on that very ground. No instead we are looking to the future. As a mark of respect we cancelled our practice today and as a full team are going for drinks tonight."_

_Yes it is a sad day for the Quidditch world. However while the players were keeping away the fans were out in force. Flowers lined the field as well as cards of memories. One from a Miss Watson read the following…_

"_A skilful player but more importantly an inspiration to all. May your soul find eternal rest." _

_We were also lucky to be allowed a few moments with the stars sister, Megan. She along with her parents went to the stadium to thank the fans that had turned out and to place their own messages. His sister told us the following._

"_This year has been difficult for us with all the stories of Larry's personal life spreading. But it's a mark of the man that he was for all those people who cared about him to come out here today to remember him. My brother would be very touched by the response of the wizarding world."_

_Indeed he would. However from among the friends and family one face was missing. Miss Lily Evans the man's fiancée at his time of death. We were not surprised that she did not show her face at the stadium. After all the trouble that she caused she wouldn't be welcome there._

_Surprisingly then it might seem that the woman turned up at the grave of the man. From conversations with the mans parents we have learnt that in the year that has past she has not visited the grave once. So why yesterday? Could it be that her guilt is finally getting to her?_

_So what did the woman have to say then? Well yours truly was present at the graveyard and can exclusively reveal that the woman went there to get her guilt off her chest. She admitted that her heart belonged to one James Potter even while she was with the Quidditch star. Then to add more salt to the injury she went on to say the following…_

"_Larry please forgive me for everything."_

_This more than anything indicates that she was hurting the star. Does this mean though he went to his grave knowing what she was doing? We are sure here that he did know. _

_One year on from the death of a great man and still the woman he loved hurts him. But we ask that all the fans forget that woman, forget the lies she told to the man. Instead remember the Quidditch player. Remember the way he smiled when they won games and remember how his life was cut short._

_Rita Skeeter_

Lily screeched as she slammed the paper onto her desk.

"That foul loathsome woman! Where does she get off following me around? I've had enough of this she's making me out to be evil. I'm not! All I want is a chance to live and to raise my daughter in a nice environment where she doesn't have to worry!"

"I know Lily. She's gone too far this time. Look if you want you can go home and I'll take care of all this."

"No thanks Charlton. I'm not running away from this. Let people talk about me they'll get bored soon enough with the same thing being said all the time. Plus –"

"Evans gather your people. There's an attack in Carmarthenshire at some kind of festival…"


	63. Sixty Three

A special update for you all. Today is my 21st birthday so to celebrate it here's a post for you all. Enjoy.

Kris xx

* * *

Chapter 63

Lily watched as Moody made to leave the office. Her eyes quickly went to Charlton and they looked at each other. Roger had left and they hadn't seen him in an hour and the new boy Rio hadn't even turned up. It was just the two of them.

"Moody how bad is it?"

He looked at Lily and just from meeting his eyes she knew it was going to be bad.

"They have a festival today called Burry Port. A lot of fishing going on and a carnival. Lots of muggles from all over the country. There's going to be lots of casualties."

"We'll get more people then Sir."

She turned and ran over to the corner. There was a way of calling everyone in quickly. She just had to find the list of names. She threw things around looking. Where the hell did Eddie keep it?"

"Found it!"

She turned to see Charlton waving the sheet in the air. She grinned taking it from him. Yes all the names of the Healers in the department were on there. Quickly she put her wand tip next to Roger's name. Where the hell was the boy?

"Umm… okay everyone but Eddie. Do you agree Charlton?"

"Not the ones you were firing either. All the rest."

She nodded and looked down the list. She put her wand against Carly's name and Trevor's, Ryan, Martha, Stephanie, Hortensia, Steve, Paul, Kenneth, Charlotte and lastly Tobias. With another look at Charlton she collected up the papers on the floor and threw them on the table.

"What you want Evans?"

She turned to see Roger stood in the door hands crossed in front of him.

"Less attitude for a start! Where have you been?"

"Away from you."

"Yes well now there's an emergency so get ready."

Less than two minutes after she had called the others the group were all stood in the Atrium. She looked at them all knowing that they had to quickly head out to backup the Aurors.

"Okay so there's an attack in Carmarthenshire at some festival called Burry Port. So we're to get there now. No funny business anybody I don't want to be signing any yellow forms today. Let's go!"

Pops echoed through the grand atrium as the Healers all left to get to work.

Lily ducked as a spell went over her head. She was leaning over a young muggle who was panting heavily. She was unsure with what he had been hit with but his breathing was slowing as he got tired. With a wave of her wand he was unconscious and another spell put his breathing regular.

Lily's green eyes looked up at the mess in front of her. This was basically murder and nothing else. She had wondered if maybe a wizarding family lived somewhere close to explain the attack. But after a few minutes here she knew it was just muggles. This was muggle baiting, muggle torturing. She hated the Death Eaters.

A purple curse flew over her head and she looked up at a masked attacker. It was a woman something about the curves gave that away. Lily didn't think about what she was there to do. No she quickly sent a stunner at the woman. But it was deflected and she watched as Andrews, a young Auror fell to the ground.

Screaming echoed around the area but her eyes stayed on the woman's. There was something about her that Lily didn't like. It wasn't just the fact she was a Death Eater there was something else. But for the life of her she didn't know what it was. A scream close to Lily's ear drew her attention and she watched as a young child was flung into the air by a Death Eater.

Lily's insides wriggled and she felt sick. All intentions to heal left her mind as she moved through the crowds. She knew that she had said to do nothing stupid, to stick to their jobs. But no this was too much. She could handle this. After all she was the only one in the Order. She was trained to fight and to help those that couldn't.

With a well aimed jinx the Death Eater lost control of the spell. The infant began to fall but Lily's reflexes were quick. She caught the child and lowered her to the ground. The Death Eater swore and a yellow cloud went straight for her. But by sending Saphine forward the spell was absorbed. Something about the reaction of the Death Eater surprised her. Then a pop sounded and he was gone.

"LILY!"

Frank's voice ran clear over the noise. She turned and felt something tickle her shoulder. Her eyes landed on Griff Frank's patronus. He had absorbed an awful looking blue spell that was sparkling at the ends. Shaking slightly Lily grabbed the child and went to ground. The girl was screaming with tears but with a quick look Lily knew her to be fine.

"Stay here. Don't move."

The girl nodded through her tears as Lily ran from behind the post box she had placed the girl behind. Ahead of her she could see that Fabian was involved in some kind of duel with one of the Death Eaters. He had blood running down his left side and he looked ready to fall over.

Further along Alice was stood with Keeley a newly graduated Auror firing spells at three Death Eaters. A pink blob came from one of the wands. Lily could see white and blue moving from within it and something told her it was bad. With another well aimed shot Saphine ran between the two women and the spell absorbing it.

A screech that she recognised came from her right and she saw Hortensia fall over the body of a man. Her face was white and a pool of blood stood around her. Lily knew that the life had left the woman before she hit the ground. She moved towards the Death Eater responsible and sent a stunner spell at him.

It missed but his spell didn't miss her. She felt her cheek split and blood pour from it. But she didn't stop as she entered a duel with the man. He was fast and after only two attempts to hit him she knew he was a master of Dark Arts and Defence.

Suddenly though there was an echoing of pops and the noise died away. She blinked a few times looking around looking at the damage. It was immense that was sure. Moody stood tall among everyone and called out commands.

There were more pops before he called her name.

"Yes Sir."

"St. Mungos now. As many of the injured as you can. Leave the dead we'll sort them out."

"Ouch."

"Sit still Lily."

Owen grinned as he ran his wand over her cheek. She had been in the hospital for twenty minutes and refused all treatment as she aided the others. Owen though had finally caught her and made her sit still.

"You know you're a Healer not an Auror right?"

"Of course Owen. But I know how to fight. I couldn't sit back and let them kill people if I can help."

"There's enough Aurors out there."

"I know. I go out as a Healer and if a well aimed defence spell can help them I haven't got a problem with firing it."

"You know you'll have to get a blue slip for this right."

She laughed gently.

"I'll get Charlton to write me one up."

"There all finished."

"Can I get back to the ministry now then?"

"Sure can."

Lily looked at the faces of the Healers gathered in the office. They were fewer than normal. Sure she hadn't called in the trainees but still. Those that sat around were all in different states.

"Okay so today was a mess. There weren't enough of us here to start off with but I'd like to thank you all for reacting so quickly. Now I know there are a number of injuries but I'm hoping that you will all be able to fill in reports. I expect them on my desk by Wednesday."

"Shouldn't they go to Eddie?"

"Not this time Tobias. He wasn't there. They come to me because I was in charge."

"Yeah and look how good that turned out."

"Shut up Roger."

"No Carly let him talk. What do you have to say?"

"You're a hypocrite. You tell us to stick to healing and then you go and fight like you're an Auror."

"You're right. That's why Charlton is writing me up a blue slip. Any other comments?"

They all went quiet and Lily looked around. Only a handful had come back to the office. Carly and Tobias had returned since they were working that afternoon along with Lily and Rio who had still to turn up. Then Steve and Martha had come in to start on the paperwork. Maybe it was also the fact that they were the only uninjured.

Yes there had been breaks (Trevor and Ryan) some dangerous side affects from spells (Stephanie and Paul) and then one who was unable to speak (Kenneth). The only other uninjured party was Charlotte but she was on duty in the hospital.

Everyone sat down, including Roger and Charlton who were due to finish. Paperwork was pulled out and forms were filled. Lily picked up the only yellow form needed and looked at it. Hortensia had been lucky on a number of occasions not to be killed it seemed that finally her luck had run out.


	64. Sixty Four

Chapter 64

"Down it! Down it! Down it!"

Lily put the shot to her lips and let the cold liquid fall down her throat. Clapping sounded from around her. Gracefully she smiled as she put the glass back down. It had been a long hard afternoon. She had found that having to go tell Hortensia's mother about the accident had left her with the need to get drunk.

She hadn't been the only one though. So while Martha and Ryan were now in the office with yet another new recruit (T.J) the others had headed down the pub. Lily laughed as she watched Roger and Charlotte dancing around the bar. Then Charlton, Tobias and Steve were over with a group of young witches showing off their 'man wounds'.

Trevor, Stephanie and Carly were then sitting close together with a pack of cards between them. They were playing for shots. It seemed that they wouldn't be in a state to work come morning. Then Paul and Kenneth were next to Lily. They were being careful with their drink. Maybe it was the fact that they would be going in for Martha and Ryan come two am. But Lily didn't mind they needed this just to get over the day.

She had found early on that her job was unlike any other. Sometimes it was difficult to put what you had seen behind you. You needed to go out and get drunk to forget the difficulties that you faced day in day out. Maybe that's what half of the attraction with James was, he understood that feeling.

"Hey Lily come dance with me!"

She didn't have a chance to object as Kenneth wrapped his arms around her spinning her in a circle. She laughed as she grabbed at him again moving in a straighter manner.

"You okay Lily?"

"Everyone keeps asking me that today."

"Yes but I think most want to know about Larry. I meant Hortensia."

"Oh."

"You trained her didn't you?"

"Sure did. Honestly part of me thought we'd be sending her back to the hospital after a few weeks. But she came through. She was a healer. Okay she made mistakes and put people in danger, but we've all messed up once or twice."

"Or thirty six times?"

She laughed at Kenneth as he dipped her. It was true she had broken a number of rules. Sometimes she was surprised that she hadn't been sent back to the hospital. But then again she was capable of fighting with the Aurors and maybe that's what had saved her.

"Well you know if they ever throw me out as a Healer I can become an Auror."

This time Kenneth laughed. They danced slowly together before Lily spoke up again.

"It was difficult telling her mother."

"I bet."

"Hortensia was an only child. Her father was killed by Death Eaters three years ago and well now her mother is all alone."

"That's what they aim to do isn't it. Make it so that you feel alone and then they pounce. They offer you something; hope to make you join them. If not they kill you."

"You sound like you understand."

"My sister was forced to join them. Then when she tried to get out they killed her."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. She made the choice."

Lily nodded as he turned her. She squinted into the corner but Kenneth had turned again.

"Ken do you see anybody over in that corner?"

"Yeah a blonde woman."

Lily nodded gently again.

"Mind if we sit down. I'm beginning to feel a little dizzy."

He grinned as they dropped down next to Paul. The man gave them a toothy grin. But Lily wasn't watching. Kayleigh was sat in that corner and Lily was willing to bet everything that her informant was with her. But the other person was in the shadow. Then she saw them stand up. They were leaving. This was it, she was about to see who the informant was.

"Paul is that my drink?"

Lily could have killed Roger. He had leaned over right in front of her. She struggled to get to her feet but by the time her view was clear all she saw was Kayleigh leaving the pub. Great she'd missed it that had been her chance.

A bang sounded from behind and Lily turned to see Carly on the floor. She was giggling as were Trevor and Stephanie. It seemed that too many shots had been downed by them. Before they could react a ringing sound echoed through the bar.

"Last order please."

Paul swore from next to her.

"Ken that means its two! Come on we've got work."

The two men got up and left while the others moved to the bar. As Brad locked up the bar most people began to leave. Lily though sat in her chair looking at the corner. Maybe Brad the barman had seen who Kayleigh had been with. But then what if he was one of them? She didn't know it might lead to more questions. With a sigh she stood up stretching.

"Where you going?"

"Bar closed Lotte."

"Watch this. Brad lock in?"

The man nodded his bald head and the doors locked. Charlotte smiled at them all.

"My cousin."

Nobody objected as the firewhisky continued to pour. A night of drinking, just what the healer had ordered.


	65. Sixty Five

Chapter 65

Lily's head was thumping as she opened her eyes. She could hear somebody saying her name loudly in her left ear. Opening her eyes she sat up and looked around. Her head was resting on a wooden table. Gently moving her head she noticed the others surrounding her.

One by one they were opening their eyes. Lily could still hear her voice but it was clear that nobody was speaking it. Slowly the truth dawned. It was the ministry. Somebody had touched their wand to her name.

"What time is it?"

"Nine thirty love."

She looked at Brad. He was smiling showing blackened teeth. A groan left her lips as she stood up wobbling.

"STOP CALLING ME!!"

She looked at Trevor who was banging his left ear.

"What time you suppose to be starting?"

"Nine."

He looked at the clock and swore. He too stood up falling over slightly. The others looked as bad as she felt. But taking Trevor's arm they left the others. Trust that she would be working after a night like that.

"My head hurts."

"What time did we finish drinking Trev?"

"Umm … maybe six. I don't know."

They slowly walked into the lifts. They were propping each other up. Those around them were shooting them looks. One of them even sniffed loudly. It was then that Lily realised how much they smelt like alcohol.

Finally the grate opened and they stepped out into the offices. As they stumbled through the Auror area people turned to look at them.

"Lily?"

She looked at James and tried to smile.

"Where've you been? Gideon dropped Sammie over to me since you didn't turn up."

"Pub."

"Until what time?"

"Now."

"What?"

"We had a lock in."

She nodded slowly then wished she hadn't. Trevor wobbled from beside her and she grabbed his arm as he stumbled to the floor. They both hit the carpeted floor and began to laugh.

"Lily look at the state on you."

"I'm fine, just stop moving will you!"

James' hand came to hers and she was pulled to her feet. He didn't let go as he pulled Trevor up as well. Slowly he walked with them towards the Healers area. When they got inside Lily was sure there were too many people. But then maybe she was seeing double.

"Lily, Trevor there you are. You're both late!"

"Sorry Eddie we over slept."

Trevor slurred his words as Kenneth and Paul began to laugh at him.

"Hey Trev what time you leave the pub then?"

Lily looked towards Paul. At least she thought it was Paul that had spoken.

"Nine thirty."

"WHAT??"

That was Eddie Lily was sure of it.

"Trevor were you out drinking until this morning."

"Yes Sir."

"That's why you're late?"

"Yes Sir."

"Sit at your desk and don't move. Lily what's your excuse."

"Pub. Nine thirty. Desk don't move."

She pulled her arm from James' grip and stumbled over to her desk. As she sat she allowed her head to hit the desk and closed her eyes. She didn't know how long she was like that but it felt like next to no time when Eddie's voice sounded close to her ear.

"Drink this."

She took the cup and forced the contents down her throat. A hangover potion. She knew that taste. Blinking a couple of times her head began to clear and she watched as Trevor was handed one too. Slowly her head became clearer and she was able to sit up. Although now her only problem was lack of sleep.

"Okay you two want to explain what went on last night?"

"Eddie it was my fault. I asked everyone to come out for a drink."

"Lily why?"

"Hortensia was killed yesterday. Everyone felt down and there were a lot of injuries. We just needed to get out and forget about it. You know the drill."

"But until nine thirty."

"Won't happen again Sir."

Eddie nodded at Trevor before looking back at Lily.

"Crouch wants a report on what happened by tomorrow. You need to get on it."

"Okay Eddie. But umm … I need to see Moody first."

She didn't wait to hear what was said but marched out to the Auror offices. The man was sat at his desk working on some kind of report. Slowly she stopped behind him.

"Evans."

"Sir I believe Kayleigh met with an informant last night."

He turned his head to look at her. She could tell though that while his normal eye was on her the magical one was spinning like mad in his head.

"Did you see who it was?"

"No, but at least now we know where they meet. Maybe we can get somebody to sit around there in the evenings. Someone who won't draw as much attention."

Moody's lips turned upwards into a smile.

"Good plan Evans I'll get onto it right away."


	66. Sixty Six

Chapter 66

"Let me see!"

"No keep your eyes closed we're nearly there."

"James!"

All Lily heard was the man's laughter. She didn't like this at all. James had finally gotten the house ready but wanted to surprise her so she was blindfolded and being led up the path. She raised her hands in front of herself afraid that she might just trip over something that had been left in the path.

"Okay just let me open the door."

She heard a key in the lock and then a scream left her lips as James lifted her up and walked into the house. When her feet connected with the ground. She tried to take the blindfold off but he swotted at her hands.

"Just wait one second."

Lily heard James shutting doors around them and then her blindfold was removed. Looking ahead she was surprised by the lack of hallway. Instead there was a small pouch with a door leading to the left and to the right.

"Miss Evans if you'd follow me."

James took her hand and led her through the door on her right. Lily had to blink a number of times to take in the difference from before. When she had first seen it the room had been bare. The plaster had been showing on the walls and the only thing to stand out had been the fireplace. Not anymore.

Her eyes sparkled as she looked at the soft green that was covering the walls. It brought lightness to the room that made her heart flutter. It was beautiful. The fireplace had been cleaned up and a marble mantel sat over it giving it a regal look. Then over in the corner stood a large bookcase covered in her volumes.

Her eyes left that to look at the cream leather sofa that sat against the wall and the two chairs at angles around it. In the middle was a low light coloured wooden coffee table. Lily smiled happily as she bent touching the soft cream carpet that had been laid on the floor.

"James it's beautiful."

"And it's only the start darling."

She turned to look at him and as she did she noticed paintings for the first time. Garden scenes had been placed on the walls giving it a natural feel and on the window sill stood a vase filled with flowers.

"Want to see upstairs?"

She couldn't help but nod as he led her to the back of the room. Up top he had placed a chess set and some cushions on the floor under a wooden staircase. Holding his hand he led her up the stairs onto the landing. There were four doors leading off it and he took her to the first.

"Bathroom, complete with shower, bath, sink and toilet."

The walls were a salmon sort of colour but everything else was white. It all looked new and sparkling to Lily. How she loved this house already. James then guided her out of the room closing the door behind them.

"So the room opposite is important. Now before you see it I just want to tell you it was all Sirius and Gideon."

James opened the door and Lily stepped inside. She felt her mouth drop as she allowed her eyes to travel around Sammie's new bedroom. Her hand moved to her mouth with the surprise. She couldn't take it in at all.

The walls were a soft powder blue that she remembered well. It matched exactly with the Arrows uniform. On the wall by the window there were painted letters spelling Sammie-Lynn. Then little white clouds took up the top most of the wall. The carpet that she walked on was a chocolate colour that matched the shade of the Puddlemere uniforms.

Then there was small furniture in the room. A small brown sitting chair that could easily have fitted in with the chairs in the living room. Then a bed over in the corner shaped like a castle with a small slide onto the floor.

"The beds been charmed so she can't fall out."

Lily blinked back the tears as she turned to look at James.

"It's perfect."

His arms wrapped around her as he pointed to the corner.

"We've put the wardrobe into the wall for you. Then there's a bookcase with all children's stories so we can read to her before bed."

"Thank you."

James squeezed her and they stayed like that for a moment.

"Come on let me show you the other rooms."

Again he guided her out and across the landing.

"This is the spare room; it's not much but…"

The door opened and she looked inside smiling. The walls were all white giving the feeling of space. But then there was a double bed against the far wall covered in blue sheets. The curtains were a lace blue and the carpet the same colour. On the wall were paintings of the sea, or the sky with a cloud. She just loved it.

After that Lily was directed to the master bedroom. Shivers of excitement cursed through her as James opened the door. Like the spare room it was painted white but that was all it had in common. The room was larger and in it stood a four poster bed, just like those in Hogwarts. The curtains that surrounded it though were a soft lilac. Against the window the curtains held the same shade.

Her eyes took in all the details, even the paintings of purple flowers on the wall. It was perfect.

"James I love it. I love everything."

"I knew you would darling."

She took his hand leading the decent back downstairs. This time she noticed that on the wall were numerous pictures. There were ones of her and James smiling away. Then some of the boys' together and a nice one of her and Lyn smiling. As they reached the bottom the pictures continued around the room. Some of Gideon and Sirius in Quidditch robes a smiling one of them all at Sammie's christening. But the largest of them all was one of her and James smiling holding Sammie between them.

This felt to Lily like a home. She had forgotten that feeling since moving out of the flat with Lyn. That had been home had the touches of their lives. This house was full of that same energy.

"Come look at this next."

James had taken Lily back into the small pouch and then through the door on the left. This room couldn't have been any more different if they had tried. It was bright yellow to start with. On the floor were toys for Sammie and a wall chart to measure her height. But in the corner next to the second door stood a glass desk. Lily knew that was there for the pair to write reports at late into the night.

James though was now directing Lily through the other door. The smile that sprang to her face was massive. They were in the kitchen, the centre of their world. It was painted a warm shade of red that brought memories of Hogwarts to mind. A massive table sat at one end that could easily sit eight if not more people.

Then there was the kitchen itself. Grand as any kitchen should be. It was muggle fashioned because that's what Lily was use to. There was a large stove at which she could cook, if Peter didn't beat her too it that was. A massive fridge freezer to store their food next to the cupboards. The sink stood under the window so Lily could look out into the garden while washing up. But the best thing of all was the fireplace. It was massive and gave Lily a feeling of warmth.

"So Miss Evans do you think you could live here?"

"I could happily spend the rest of my life here."

"I was hoping you'd say that."


	67. Sixty Seven

Chapter 67

"Padfoot you're burning the burgers!"

"Shut it Wormtail, there's nothing wrong with them."

"They're not suppose to be charcoaled!"

Lily couldn't help but watch as the two men argued over the BBQ. Maybe James should have been in charge of the food after all. The sound of her name made her turn and wave at Eddie.

"Lily the house is amazing."

"I know I still can't believe I live here."

Lily had moved into the house two days after her grand tour. After three weeks she now felt settled in Godrics Hollow. Part of her felt as though she had spent her entire life in the village. She was defiantly in love with the area.

Sammie too seemed to be taking the move well. She had just started crawling and the carpet floors in the living area seemed to be her favourite. Lily was constantly watching her zoom around the room on all fours. Of course she wasn't on her own; no James had taken a liking to crawling around with her.

"Watch out. Coming through!"

Lily and Eddie both turned to see Gideon come out of the kitchen on all fours. He was grinning dopily as he reached the grass. Eddie was chuckling next to Lily and she had to admit it was an odd sight. However it became clearer as Sammie came speeding out of the kitchen after the man and behind her James.

The three were on the grass rolling around happily. Lily could feel her shoulders begin to move as laughter slipped from her own lips.

"I see James has taken to parenting like a duck to water."

Eddie was grinning happily as he wrapped his arm around Lily's shoulder. She had to admit she had still been a little worried about how James would react when they finally moved in together. But he was fantastic with Sammie all the time.

She remembered only a week earlier when a witch had come round from the legal department of the ministry to see them. She was conducting the interview that would allow James to legally adopt Sammie. The witch had been so surprised by what she had seen; even commenting on how James was already a father to the girl. She had approved of the adoption and only the morning before had all the papers arrived. It was now official; the girl was Sammie-Lynn Potter.

Lily was torn from that thought by a thunderous bang. All sound evaporated in seconds and it seemed the business like side of people took over. Alice, Frank and Fabian had all wiped their wands out. Carly and Remus had dropped their drinks taking on fighting stances while Gideon and James jumped to their feet shielding Sammie as they went.

Everyone seemed so tense until their eyes landed on the cause of the bang. Lily felt her mouth drop as she watched Sirius and Peter roll around on the grass. The pair were throwing punches at each other.

Around her she heard Remus yell something. It was at that moment she noticed that one of them had kicked the BBQ over. The grass was on fire! She rushed forward along with Remus, Eddie and Frank and as one they all yelled the same spell.

"Aguamenti."

Water flowed from the four wands killing the fire in its tracks. Turning around they saw that Gideon had pulled Sirius up off Peter and Fabian had hold of the other man. The two were throwing their shoulders forward as though trying to get at one another.

"Look what you've done now Padfoot!"

"Me! It was you Wormtail!"

"Was not. Why can't you ever let someone else take control?"

"Why can't you let me take control?"

"ENOUGH!"

They all turned to see James. He had Sammie tucked under his left arm and his right one clenched in a fist.

"What the hell is going on?"

Both men started talking at once. James though raised his right hand higher and they shut up. He nodded at Peter who again started speaking.

"Padfoot was burning the burgers."

"Was not."

"He was burning the burgers Prongs. So I pushed him out of the way to take them off the grill when he punched me."

"Wait your fighting over burgers?"

Alice looked at them stupidly. Lily though who knew the boys so well knew it wasn't a stupid fight between them. Peter and Sirius both loved their food. Peter was the cook and Sirius the eater. Something like this well they were bound to fight. Before they could start up again though Remus was talking.

"Okay here's what we do. Save whatever food we can and let me cook them in the kitchen."

"No way Moony you're as bad as Prongs and Padfoot. Let me cook them."

Everyone turned to look at Lily. She couldn't believe that she was the one having to make the decision.

"Fine Wormtail … I mean Peter you cook the food."

He smiled happily picking up burgers and sausages before heading into the kitchen. Lily shared a look with Eddie before heading over to James. She happily took Sammie from him and kissed her daughters forehead.

"Good choice Lils Remus really can't cook."

"Well it had to be Peter really. He's the only one I trust not to burn down our kitchen."

James laughed loudly causing Sammie to start squirming.

"Oh you want to come to your daddy beautiful."

"You're really getting into this James aren't you?"

"Of course. I love being a daddy. Now come on Lils hand our daughter over."

A small smile played on her features. Their daughter, it sounded so perfect. As James had her in his hands he called out for silence. Everyone turned to look at him as he held Sammie over his head.

"Sorry to interrupt the drinking but I just wanted to make an announcement. Let me introduce you to the newest member of the Potter family. Sammie-Lynn Potter."

It took their friends seconds to understand what he was saying. Suddenly Lily had Carly and Alice around her all excited about the fact the adoption had gone through. Lily could see that Frank, Gideon, Fabian and Remus had gathered around James as Eddie happily took Sammie from the man bouncing her in the air.

Unfortunately it was at that moment that a crash sounded through the garden. Everyone turned to see Peter lying on the grass covered in cuts and glass. The French doors from the kitchen were smashed and Sirius was standing inside them. He looked guilty as he raised his hands high.

"Wormtail started it!"


	68. Sixty Eight

**IMPORTANT: We've had a death in the family in the last few days. If that isn't bad enough its a 9 day old baby. So because of this there will be no more post until after the funeral. We're all very busy trying to help my cousin (the baby's mother - who is just 17) organise it. So its looking like it will be a week tomorrow so I ask if you'll all bear with me over the next week or so. When things have calmed down again I will post.**

**Thanks**

**Kris xx**

* * *

Chapter 68

It seemed like a life time has passed since the Saturday and the party. Lily couldn't believe the outcome of the day. Peter had been sent to St. Mungos by Eddie to get cleaned up. He had been covered in cuts from the glass. Apparently Sirius had pushed him through it after claiming that Peter was burning the sausages.

Men! Lily couldn't believe that it had happened. The party had quickly ended as everyone bar Sirius had thought of excuses to leave. Lily had to admit it had been a smart move. She was unsure of what had actually happened. She had taken Sammie down to the other end of the garden while James and Sirius went inside. She had heard the muffled sound of James' raised voice but that had been all.

After twenty minutes Sirius had cleared away all the glass and gone home, or at least she thought he had gone home. She was unsure but he had left them. She had then gone back inside with Sammie to see that James had cleared everything else away.

But that had been Saturday. Lily couldn't believe that it was only Wednesday it felt as though a month had passed since that easy carefree day. It had been one of the worse Wednesdays that Lily had seen in a long time. There had been a major Death Eater attack.

She had been sat in the office with Eddie, Carly and Roger of all people. Fabian had come running in with the news of an attack in Lancashire a town called Clitheroe. The name had meant nothing to the four of them gathered other than their next location.

Eddie had the list in his hands in seconds and the other healers were called in. Lily had gone to the atrium to wait for their arrival. Charlton had been first to arrive followed by Trevor, Ryan, Martha, Stephanie, Steve, Paul, Kenneth, Charlotte and Tobias. The last to arrive were the three trainees T.J, Rio and Aled.

With the entire team assembled they quickly left the ministry and headed up to the location. The battle was a blur to Lily now thinking back. Bits and pieces lingered in her mind but it was more shapes and colours than anything. She remembered the screams of the muggles in the small village, the smell of burning buildings and the noise of spells whizzing passed her.

The thing that was staying with her though more now than ever were the faces. The look that crossed Paul's face as he was hit with the killing spell. Then there were the screams of pure fright as Rio was burnt alive by one of the Death Eaters. Maybe even worse was the fact that Aled was cut to pieces by a horrible spell and bled to death.

Lily kept thinking about how the two trainees could have been saved. But she knew deep down they couldn't have done anything more. Everyone had been pinned down. From somewhere unknown fifty Death Eaters had appeared. The Aurors were lost in battle the Healers pinned down trying their best to both defend and save.

Tears ran down Lily's face as she closed her front door. It had been a very long and hard day. After the battle she had gone back to the office and filled out the yellow slips. Then she had gone to see the mothers of Paul, Rio and Aled to explain the news. Part of her wished that Eddie could have done it, but since he was suffering with multiply broken bones he couldn't go anywhere for the time being.

Gently she rolled her shoulders backwards. She felt like she had the weight of the world on them. It didn't help that she had just been told that Benjy Fenwick had lived in the village attacked. He was the seventh Order member since September to be killed by Death Eaters. Things were looking bad; the Death Eaters were attacking them.

Slowly she headed to the kitchen. Lily decided that she wanted something to munch on before tea that night. They were suppose to be going over to the guys place because Peter was making a slap up meal. But as she reached the kitchen she stopped and looked twice.

From under the sink there were two legs sticking out. Lily looked as James wriggled around under the sink. She couldn't help but smile at just looking at him. Her bad day could always be made better just by being around him. An idea came to mind and she walked over to him dropping onto the floor.

"Hello gorgeous want to work on my pipes next?"

Her voice had gone lower than normal as she gently rubbed James' leg. Instantly he jumped and water squirted out at her. She screamed jumping backwards as Sirius emerged from under the sink. As he looked at her she felt her face begin to burn.

"What's happened?"

James stood in the doorway looking at them. His eyes went to the water and he swore running back out. There was a banging sound from wherever he was and then the water stopped pouring out.

Seconds passed and James came back into the kitchen. He was grinning dopily at the pair of them. Sirius was watching the floor while Lily looked out at the darkening sky.

"So what happened then? Thought you were good with pipes Sirius."

"Lily scared me."

His voice was low and Lily could tell he was as embarrassed as she was.

"What did you say to him?"

"I thought he was you."

Lily refused to look at either of them. Her face was beginning to burn again as Sirius found his voice again.

"She implied she wanted to take advantage of me."

James laughed as Lily turned redder still. His arms came around her and his mouth found her ear.

"We'll wait until Sirius leaves."


	69. Sixty Nine

Chapter 69

November quickly faded away and was replaced by December. The weather took a turn for the worse as snow began to assault everything in sight. The attacks on the Order members seemed to have ceased as the merry season arrived.

Lily was extremely excited about this Christmas. It would be her first one with Sammie and she got to spend it with James as well. She has planned a number of things that she wanted to do. But things weren't working out the way she had planned.

"James where's the tree?"

She looked at the man spread out on the sofa. His eyes were closed but she knew he wasn't sleeping. She forcefully hit his arm and he opened his eyes.

"Why'd you do that?"

"It's the twentieth of December James! You promised me a tree two weeks ago."

"Fine I'll go get one."

"And make sure its green!"

"Yes because I was going to get a blue one!"

"Just get it!"

He pulled a face at Sammie which caused her to laugh. Lily watched as he pulled on his coat with a scarf and hat and walked out the front door. As soon as the door banged shut Lily ran out to the kitchen and opened one of the many cupboards. She quickly pulled out a multitude of presents and headed back to the living room.

As she sat down Sammie crawled over to her and picked up a book about the Falmouth Falcons. It instantly went into her mouth and Lily had to bribe her with a teddy bear to get it back.

"Sammie come on that's James' Christmas present. You can't eat it!"

When Lily had it back she placed it gently on the blue wrapping paper and covered it. She smiled at the thought of James' face when he saw it. Lily had learnt that James was a Falcon's supporter. He always claimed that he supported Puddlemere but in truth he supported Sirius not the team.

When it was wrapped she turned it over and saw the soft snowflakes continuously fall over the paper. She couldn't stop smiling as she then wrapped a sweater, self shuffling cards, a small card containing tickets to see the Falcons next home game and a framed photograph of James happily bouncing Sammie on his knee. Lily thought that he could take the photo and put it on his desk in work.

Just as she finished wrapping the presents there was a bang from the door. She moved to open it and found herself facing a large tree. She laughed as she saw James' feet sticking out from under it; it really looked like a tree with feet.

"Stop laughing and help me get it inside."

Together they got it through the door and into the pot that was waiting for it. Lily watched as James used his wand to trim it and get everything looking just right. Sammie crawled towards it but James still had the speed that had made him so good at Quidditch in school. He swept her up and tickled her stomach.

"How about you and me miss decorate the tree?"

"James?"

"Oh come on Sammie can help me."

Lily watched as James took out his wand and made icicles and snow appear on the tree. Sammie made a gurgling noise as she reached towards them. Lily however just shook her head and went back to the kitchen opening another cupboard.

"Here James you and Sammie can put these on there."

"What are they?"

"Muggle ornaments."

James took the coloured bobbles and hung them on the branches. Sammie was hitting them gently as he placed them higher. Lastly he placed an angel on the top and turned back to Lily.

"How does it look?"

"Beautiful."

He stepped back beside her and they both admired it. After a few minutes James spoke up.

"I hope you don't mind but I invited the guys over Christmas Day."

"That's fine. I invited them too."

* * *

Hey guys.

Thanks for being so patient. I know that my posting hasn't been as often as it could be. But things are getting a bit better. The funeral still hasn't taken place, its going to be on Monday which is why I haven't posted before now, because well its still on going. Umm… I've also got a lot of university work to do over Christmas, so it looks like there won't be much post until god I don't even know when. My dissertation is due in in May and I've got something like six essays before then. But I promise when I get two minutes I will update again. It's just last year in university is a killer, so much work and so very little time.

Anyway again thanks for being so understanding.

Kris xx


	70. Seventy

First things first. Sorry for the delay. Have had flu so not been on the computer. I just want to say season's greetings to all. Hope you enjoy your holiday. And as we say here in Wales.

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

Which is Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love Kris xx

* * *

Chapter 70

Christmas was in full swing up in Godrics Hollow by one o'clock. Lily and Peter were in the kitchen happily putting the finishing touches to the lunch that they had been cooking since eight that morning.

In the living room James was happily playing exploding snap with Sirius, Frank and Carly. Lily could hear the occasional explosions and shouts over the other guests. Meanwhile Alice and Libby were happily keeping both Sammie and Kimmy occupied.

Their last two guests Remus and Eddie where comparing their Christmas gifts. Lily had selected them especially for the pair. Remus had been given a Lunascope. She had thought this practical since it showed the different phases of the moon at given times of the month. For Eddie though she had chosen an astronomical model. This was a moving model of the galaxy which allowed for his love off all things astronomical.

"Lily I think the turkey is done cooking."

Peter had his head almost in the oven as he pulled it out. The crisp smell of the bird made her stomach rumble. She had already placed the potatoes into bowls and the vegetables. As Peter placed the large bird onto a plate Lily took the pig in blankets (sausages wrapped in bacon) off and put them in a bowl.

Lifting her wand she moved all the food onto the table. The red table cloth hung over the edge and the candlelight gave off a festive feel. It seemed that the others sensed (or maybe smelt) that the food was ready and headed into the kitchen.

Lily watched as James put Sammie into her highchair and they all sat around the table together. Before they even touched the food crackers were pulled. Lily shared hers with Peter and happily picked up the screaming yo-yo that she had won. She placed the helmet that had come from the cracker on her head and smiled as the food was passed around.

They all ate until they were fit to burst. Then when they thought they couldn't eat anymore Peter brought out the Christmas pudding and Christmas cake. After they had all loosened their belts they made their way back into the living room.

Someone turned on the wireless and music pumped into the room. Eggnog was passed around and after one mouthful Lily knew that Sirius had found her cooking rum. But it didn't matter it was Christmas.

Laughter filled the room as they all danced and drunk more wine. It came as a surprise to Lily when people started to head off. She hadn't realised that it was passed eleven in the evening. The day to her had been a success. She had enjoyed it all and couldn't remember a happier time in her life.

-

I know this is a really short chapter, but I didn't want to dwell on Christmas. We all know what happens and I'd rather just move on.


	71. Seventy One

Chapter 71

New Year passed in a haze. Lily couldn't remember the night in question. She had gone round to Alice and Franks where a party was being held. She remembered getting there and seeing lots of people she knew. There had been Aurors and Healers that both worked in the ministry and Order members who were supposedly just friends of the married couple.

Lily had put Sammie to sleep in the Longbottoms spare room with Kimmy by eight o'clock. Then she had gone back down to the party. That was all she remembered of the night. The alcohol had wiped clean her memory of everything she had gotten up to that night.

But she could remember the hangover the next day. The look on James' face as he handed her the potion and told her it served her right. The sound of Sirius moaning as he rolled over onto her arm. Then the scream that had left both his mouth and her own as they looked at each other.

James had told her that they had challenged each other to do stupid dares. Both had drunk a bottle of nettle wine to themselves after finishing off a bottle of Fire Whisky between them. Then Lily exposed herself to everyone at the party while Sirius stripped off and ran around the garden.

Apparently after that Lily had declared her undying love to a hat stand that she thought was James while Sirius had chatted up a 'sexy woman' who in reality was Alastor Moody. He had even tried to kiss the Auror but Moody's hexes were famous for a reason.

Lily had been extremely embarrassed going into work on the third but everyone seemed to have forgotten about it. The high topic of conversation was actually Sirius' attempts to woe Moody. Lily was thankful that she was old news.

But as is always the case the holidays seemed to drift away and Lily was faced with everyday work. But like August January marked a sad day on her calendar. The sixteenth marked the day when the world lost its Quidditch players and more importantly the day she lost Lyn.

Eddie had given her the day off so on the morning on the sixteenth Lily was sat in the living room looking at the fire. The snow had stopped falling but its white blanket still hugged the ground.

A copy of the Prophet lay at Lily's feet. She had thrown it aside after catching the bold headline.

_**A day of tragedy**_

_Today marks the first anniversary of a day that shook the world. Who can believe that it is a year since our top sports players gathered to celebrate the engagement of two of their own. Although the day started in happiness its outcome was the biggest tragedy to hit the sporting world in a century._

_One year on we have chosen to remember them all._

The paper was filled to breaking point with photos of all those that had been killed by the Death Eaters that day. It told the stories of how each person had become the celebrity they were when killed. But Lily couldn't look at it.

No they were remembering them but attacking the ministry for not bringing justice. How could they bring justice while Voldemort was still at large? But what the paper had declined to comment about was what else had happened that day. Not that they really knew.

Yes Lily remembered the events of the year before so well. Sometimes she dreamt about them awaking in a cold sweat. It was a year ago that she and Alice had been captured by Death Eaters. A year since she had faced Voldemort and took his torture. A year since she and Alice had escaped and Alice's own sister had lost her life.

A single tear escaped Lily's eye running down her cheek. She wanted to go back to bed and sleep the day away. But she was awake she wouldn't be able to go back to bed. The silence of the house was also getting to her. Although she had the day off Gideon had taken Sammie for her. Apparently he was taking his nephews out for the day to give Molly a day off.

So yet again Lily was all on her own. As the morning wore on she knew that she couldn't stay in the house on her own any longer. Pulling on her winter coat she headed out. She knew where she wanted to be and made herself do it.

She stood at the gates to an extensive graveyard. There was something not right about this place compared to others. Yes Lily hated all graveyards but this one more than most. This was the final resting place for the purest of the wizarding world. You had to have had magic in your blood for many generations to get a plot in this place.

Lily stumbled around inside the gates looking at the markers. There were many graves that had entangled snakes chocking lions. Others had lions chewing on snakes. There were a few that had large birds that Lily guessed were ravens and one or two with large badgers. It seemed that even in death some found it necessary to show what their time in Hogwarts had been like.

There was an unsettling silence in the place as if the dead were spreading the disease. The wind had disappeared and the only sound was Lily's feet in the snow. Slowly she edged around most of the graves and came to a marker that seemed different to the others.

On the very top of the marker were four animals. Lily could see a proud lion stood with what appeared to be a raven on its back. Next to it was a badger that was happily carrying a snake. Unlike all the other graves to look at this one didn't give away the person's past. Not unless you understood it to be the marker of a headmaster of Hogwarts.

Beneath that there were six names with different dates next to them. Lily read them all looking at the names of Lyn's family carefully. Caitrin Dippet 1897-1936. That was Lyn's grandmother the woman that she had been named after. Lily remembered being told once that she had died giving birth to Lyn's mum. Next was her husband Armando Dippet 1872-1975. He had been Lily's headmaster at Hogwarts up until he retired in 1970.

Below his name were three names that Lily recognised. Jacob Sanders 1912-1969, Innogen Sanders 1914-1969, Dylan Sanders 1952-1969. Lyn's parents and older brother. Lily remembered them clearly. She had spent the best part of a number of summers with them. But their deaths they had been shocking. Lyn had been with Lily in the South of France for two weeks when the Headmaster had arrived to take her away. There had been some sort of attack that nobody had understood. Now Lily understood it, they had been killed by Death Eaters way back then.

The last name on the stone though was the name that sent shivers down her back. Caitlyn Sanders 1955-1978. It didn't seem right that her friend now spent her time in the ground. It wasn't fair that in death she had been separated from Ryan. But he wasn't of pureblood and because they hadn't been married he wasn't allowed to be buried in this plot. Something that Lily hated with so much passion.

She had visited this spot on a number of occasions. Just coming and laying flowers down. She never spoke just sat and looked. Her mind always swam with the memories of their adolescent years together. It was never just the memories of Lyn though that she remembered in this spot.

When here she would always remember the way that Dippet would wiggle his nose if he was unsure about something. Then there was the way that when he smiled his eyes would twinkle. The look of pain over his face that day in France when he fetched Lyn to take her home. Then there was that last year as Headmaster where he watched over the pair like a hawk. How he had looked so sorrowful when he had announced his retirement so that he could spend time with his remaining family. He had left Hogwarts so that he could be a proper guardian to Lyn.

Her memories of Jacob and Innogen also came to mind in this spot. She remembered the summers in their house. How they would tease each other rotten. The love of life that had always been spread over their features. How Innogen would hum when she cooked and when Jacob came home from work happy he would grab her and dance around the table. They had been a happy couple so filled with love.

Then there was of course her memories of Dylan. What a mixed bunch they were too. He had been two years older than them but he had played a large role in Lily's life. She remembered the teasing and name calling he had done in her first two years at Hogwarts. How he had introduced her to the game of Quidditch, where he had played keeper. All the help he had provided with her homework. But most of all how he had given her her very first kiss.

Yes Lyn's family had played a massive role in her life. They had helped her in ways that she doubted they knew. Lyn's parents had showed her what love was and Dylan had treated her like family. They had been the family that Lily had missed out on in the magical world. But no matter how much Lyn's family meant to her, Lyn had been the one she cared about most.

Lyn had been Lily's first friend in Hogwarts. She'd explained all the magical terms that had confused Lily. She had stuck up for her when someone had called her mudblood. And most importantly she had stuck by her through every bad thing that had come her way.

"Lyn I miss you."

Nothing else was needed to be said. Everything that was happening in her life Lyn knew about. Lyn was a witness to her life now, she was a star. When Lily felt that things were caving in she'd just head outside and look up at the night sky and know that Lyn was watching over her keeping her safe, with Ryan and Larry at her side.

Lily would never know how long she sat at the side of the grave that day. Time seemed to escape her. But as the light began to fade (which admittedly happens early in January) she stood up and left the site.

When Lily opened her front door she was alarmed to find that a candle was burning. She hadn't had any lights on before she left. Her mind told her that it was probably Gideon. But no she was sure that he would be longer in Molly's what with having the five boys to drop off.

She stopped in the doorway to the living room and was startled to see that Peter was pacing the floor. She must have made some noise because he looked up at her. His face was grave as he studied her outline.

"Peter what are you doing here?"

"You have to come with me. There's been an attack, an attack in Newton Longville."

Lily didn't hear anything else. Her mind was awash with the name of the village. It was the village that her parents had moved them to when she was nine. It was the village that her parents still lived in. With her stomach knotted she looked up at Peter and knew that something terrible was bound to be the outcome of this.


	72. Seventy Two

Chapter 72

Lily appeared at the bottom of Ivy Lane. Chaos was raining complete as she looked up and down. She could see people from her past running around and screaming. A number of Aurors were trying to get statements from the muggles but it didn't seem to be working.

Lily couldn't help but wonder what had happened in the small village. As far as she knew there was no magical connection here except for herself. But she'd been away for over six months. A horrible feeling was creeping up her as she ran the length of the street.

Ivy Lane wasn't that big. It was a small side street really. There were only six houses all on the same side of the road. Number five belonged to her parents. She stopped outside it and wanted to scream. The house was rubble.

There was a large hole through the wall leading into the living room. The upstairs had begun to collapse in on the mess. Lily's mind told her that anybody who had been inside that house wouldn't have survived. It was impossible.

She stepped into the front garden and looked inside. There were burn marks on the walls. It was clear to her that whoever had attacked had sought out her parent's house. This was her fault. The village had been attacked because of its connection to her.

Tears ran down her face as she tried to guess the fate of her parents. They had to be dead, unless they had been out. But then the village was small so small. They could have been caught up somewhere else.

All of a sudden a second horrid thought came to her. Petunia and Vernon lived in the village. They lived in Betty's Close just down the road. If her parents house had been attacked the likelihood of it all was that Petunia's home had also been attacked.

Turning away from the ruins of her childhood home Lily ran up to the main street. There were muggles everywhere. As Lily pushed through she could see ministry workers modifying the muggles memories. She heard one of them being told that there had been a gas explosion down in Ivy Lane.

"Lily!"

She heard her name being called but it didn't register with her. She was too busy marching up the street. She heard her name called a second and third time. Only then did she slow down and look over her shoulder.

A small amount of relief spread through her body as she spotted Fabian running towards her. He was holding tightly onto the arm of her sister, who didn't look amused.

"Let go of me you freak!"

"Petunia you're alive!"

Lily grabbed hold of her sister pulling her into a tight embrace. Petunia fought the hug but Lily had become stronger. Several minutes passed before Petunia was able to break free of her.

"You're alive. Where's Vernon? Is he alright?"

"He's in Surrey not that it's any of your business."

Petunia had her nose in the air and Lily couldn't help but smile. Her sister was alive and safe so the Death Eaters hadn't captured her.

"I'll just leave you two to it."

Fabian nodded at the pair and walked back to the carnage that was left. Petunia wouldn't look at Lily and she stormed off and sat on a wall. Lily followed her and couldn't help but smile slightly. She remembered as a girl sitting on this wall waiting for her friends to turn up.

"What you smiling about?"

"The past."

Petunia looked sideways for a moment as if contemplating something. Then she was back to being stony.

"Their dead you know."

"I kind of guessed that. Were they in the house?"

"Yes. I was heading over there when I heard screams. I hid behind the wall as they walked through the streets laughing. There were bright flashes everywhere. Who were they?"

"Death Eaters."

"What?"

"It's what they call themselves. Do you remember last autumn when James was hanging around the house a lot? We use to speak about Voldemort."

"The one that killed your fiancé."

"That's the one. Well the Death Eaters are his followers. They've chosen to do his bidding."

"Which is?"

"Kill anyone who goes against him."

"That's why he killed them because of you?"

"Partly I think. I haven't exactly played ball. He wanted me to do something I couldn't and now he probably wants me dead. But that's possibly only half the reason he came after them."

"Why then?"

"Their muggles, non-magical. He likes to torture those that aren't magical. It's like a sport for him. The fact they were my parents was a bonus. He's gets to kill yet more people I care about."

Petunia was silently looking at the people running around. They were still screaming in terror although the danger had long passed.

"Will they go to that prison … Azkaban?"

"Where'd you learn about that?"

"I heard James mention it once. I thought it was a strange word Azkaban. It just seemed to stick in my brain."

"When did James ever mention it around you?"

"Don't you remember that summer we had the BBQ and he turned up with three other boys? You had gotten another of those blasted owls and started to cry –"

"Nikki's death?"

"What?"

"One of my best friends in school had been killed. Her mum sent me the letter and you came outside after me telling me to shut up because I was embarrassing you in front of Vernon."

"Yes well I followed you and James back towards the house. The pair of you had stopped inside the door and he told you that whoever had done it would be sent to Azkaban prison."

"I can't believe you remember that?"

"How can I forget? He told you about Dementors that day and how they guard the prison. How they are capable of sucking all the happiness out of you just by being in close contact. Then when he said about the kiss and how they suck your soul out… It gave me shivers Lily. The thought of them give me nightmares."

Lily understood completely that feeling. Having the Dementors in charge of Azkaban was one of the things that frightened her. With their craving for human happiness and souls the truth was it was probably only going to be a matter of time until they turned on the ministry for Voldemort.

"Petunia you don't have to worry about the Dementors. They'll never come after you or Vernon. I'll make sure of that."

"Oh like the Death Eaters would never go after mum and dad."

"I won't let anything like that happen to my family again."

Petunia nodded slightly as a woman in yellow robes came up to them.

"Names."

Lily and Petunia shared a look. It was strange how in that moment they looked like the closest of people. In fact the woman thought they were both muggles sitting together discussing what had occurred.

"Lily Evans."

"Petunia Dursley."

The witch in the yellow robes looked at her clipboard and lifted her wand pointing it at Petunia. A spell was already leaving the tip of the wand as Lily sent a shielding spell around her sister.

"What are you doing?"

"Memory modification."

"Not on her."

"She's a muggle."

"She's my sister and she knows about the wizarding world."

"She could tell."

"Petunia are you ever going to tell anybody what really happened here today?"

"You've got to be kidding me! You people don't exist."

The woman pulled a face and looked over to where Moody was stood. She headed over and Lily laughed. Petunia looked at her as if she were crazy.

"The woman's gone to ask Moody if she can change your memory, he won't let her."

"Moody?"

"The man there look he's turned to look at you."

Petunia made a small gasp and Lily laughed.

"Lost his eye in an attack on his home. He's a good guy though Pet he knows who you are, you're memory is safe."

"Why'd they want to change my memory anyway?"

"You're not a witch."

"So?"

"It isn't safe for them all to know what happened. It's better if they think there was a gas leak in mum and dad's house. That way there's no strange questions to answer."

"Is that the cover story then?"

"I think so."

Petunia nodded slightly and stood up.

"I'm going to go home. I'll organise the funeral for this time next week. You're people won't want the bodies will they?"

"No that'll be fine."

"Good."

Lily watched as Petunia started to walk away. Her mind was reeling. That was the closest thing they'd had to a sisterly conversation in years. She found that she missed that. Part of her wanted to stay connected with her sister even if they were so different.

"Petunia!"

She stopped and turned to look at her.

"Why is Vernon in Surrey?"

She surveyed her for a moment before answering the question.

"His firm, Grunnings, wants to relocate him."


	73. Seventy Three

Chapter 73

Lily ran the comb through her hair looking at her reflection. It was strange how grown up she suddenly looked to herself. She knew that she had been an adult for a long time and yet even though she was a mum she still felt childlike.

It was strange to think that only a week ago she had been down because it was the anniversary of Lyn's death. She never for a second considered that the day would be marked with more deaths. But that was the way her life seemed to go.

"You ready honey?"

James was stood in the doorway between the landing and their room. She gave him a small smile as she took in his appearance. It was strange how well he was able to dress as a muggle when most in the wizarding world couldn't get their head around it. He wore a simple pair of black trousers and a white shirt. He looked very much like the perfect son-in-law for the family.

They had decided that it was best not to take Sammie along with them to the funeral. It wasn't a day to show her it was a day of remembrance. Lily had asked Libby if she would watch Sammie for a few hours and she had gladly agreed. Gently James took her hand and they apparated to Betty's Close were Petunia lived.

"What are you doing here?"

Lily looked at Vernon who at that moment had walked into the living room.

"It's my parent's funeral Vernon."

He opened his mouth to say something but at that moment Petunia walked in.

"Lily good you're here. I hope you don't mind but I said you'd say something during the ceremony."

Lily just nodded as her sister gave her a small hug. When she turned it was clear that Petunia could see that Vernon was shocked standing with his mouth open.

"Close your mouth Vernon; you'll catch flies like that."

Lily shared a soft look with James. She knew that Petunia was being extra nice because it was the funeral. No matter what had happened between them this was something that they had to go through together.

Vernon left the room to put his coat on over his large white shirt. Lily couldn't help but think what an odd couple they looked. Vernon was the size of a small elephant where as Petunia was as thin as a match stick. But she knew more than anyone that it was what was on the inside that counted.

Her sister came back into the living room tying her long hair up with black ribbon. It was done much the same as Lily's. Lily wondered if Petunia remembered that their mother had tied their hair up like that for their grandfather's funeral when they were young.

Gently Petunia ran her hands over her long black dress. Again it was similar to the one that Lily wore. Both dresses were sleeveless and dignified. Petunia's was a round neck while Lily's was squarer. The only other difference was that Petunia's fell to the floor while Lily's rested gently on her knees.

A hard knock sounded on the door and they heard Vernon call them. Lily took Petunia's hand in hers and the pair walked outside. To greet them was a carriage holding the two coffins which was being drawn by a horse. Lily had to admit it was a nice touch as her father had been brought up a farm boy; it was the type of funeral he would have wanted.

The horse walked slowly towing the carriage with the two coffins on along the street. Lily and Petunia were still holding hands as they walked slowly behind. There was a soft wind blowing and Lily sensed that their parents were in the wind. She could hear the short breaths of Vernon as he and James walked behind them.

It was a very short walk to St. Faiths Church. The carriage stopped outside and six men stepped forward. Lily thought she recognised a few but not well enough to give them names. Three of them pulled her father's coffin towards them. Vernon stepped forward and took the fourth place. As the other three went to lift her mother's Petunia spoke up.

"James I thought that maybe you'd like to help them carry the coffins in."

He nodded and took the fourth corner of their mother's coffin. Slowly they began to walk inside. Petunia and Lily had yet to release each other as they slowly followed behind. Inside the church was packed with faces that Lily couldn't focus on. From somewhere she was able to make out Eddie's face but his was the only one that she knew.

Before she realised it Petunia was guiding her into one of the front pews. James was somehow the other side of her as Vernon took up Petunia's free side. As the service started Lily gave her free hand to James still refusing to let go of her sister. Something told her that if she let go that would be it.

A few hymns were sung and then Lily felt Petunia pry her fingers out of Lily's. This made Lily want to cry but she saw that Petunia was heading to the front of the church. She watched as her older sister stood so elegantly in front of everyone.

"We're here today to say goodbye to my parents. It's such a strange thing to think that only last week they were talking about redecorating the living room. They still had so many plans left but that's been taken from them. Something terrible occurred here and we can't talk about it."

"My parents were kind and loving. They didn't always show it but it was there. They were proud of everything that both my sister and I have so far achieved. There have been differences between our family but no matter what they loved us. They really loved you Lily."

Petunia was looking straight at Lily small tears falling down her thin face.

"There's one thing that I'm taking from this. Live each day as if it were your last. Tell the people you care about that you love them and don't let things get between you."

"Like I said at the start we came here today to say goodbye to my parents. But this isn't goodbye. You can never say goodbye to something or someone who is a part of who you are. I learnt that from my sister. My parents will always be alive in me. So until the day that both my sister and I are dead they will live. And maybe they'll live on in their grandchildren as well if we teach them what we were taught."

Lily had tears running down her face. Those things that Petunia had said were for her she knew that. Their differences had driven them apart but their grief for the time being had brought them back together. Petunia had taken her seat again before Lily realised.

"You need to go up there Lily."

Petunia's voice was soft as she spoke in her ear. Nodding Lily stood up and moved passed her sister and brother-in-law. When she reached the front she looked at the coffins. They were simple made of wood. On the top were bronze labels. One read James Evans and the second Silvia Evans.

"James Evans. That sounds so strange, nobody ever called him James. It was always Jimmy. I remember asking him once after I found his passport who James was. He told me that James was the boy who always got in trouble at school or in church."

Lily laughed gently to herself.

"Over the last couple of years I've been to more funerals than I will ever care to imagine. I always thought that you died when the time came. Murder was not ever part of my vocabulary. Its strange how something like that can become part of your everyday life."

"I bet you're all wondering what that has to do with my parents. Well everything. You have to understand that my parents were always set in their ways. They could open their eyes to new things, like my education, but then they'd revert back to the old ways again. They forced a decision out of me when I was eighteen that tore our family apart. I really thought that was the end of us."

"But my family, my parents, they were always there for me even after I left. You all know the story of my fiancé and how he was murdered, gossip travels fast. My parents welcomed me back and took care of me. When my best friend was murdered they sheltered me and helped me over come it."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that we had our differences. They didn't like what I chose to become but they supported me anyway. They took me back and made me welcome in the house. I'll be eternally grateful for everything they did. They taught me that it's alright to be me and that I don't need to be anything else. They taught me to be good and stand up for what I believe in."

"I make a vow right here. My parents were taken before their time because of something they had no control over. Last week Petunia asked me a question that I never answered. Will those that did this pay, yes. I promise you Petunia that they will have to face the dementors I'll make sure of it."

Lily would never remember walking back to the pew. She would never recall what the reading was or the final hymn on that sad day. She would however live the rest of her life remembering the image of the coffins being lowered into the ground. Watching as her father was placed in the earth first. How soil was thrown on top of the grave. Then her mother was placed above her father. To rest together for all eternity.

As their mothers coffin went in Petunia was offered some soil. She gently threw it in. Lily followed suit and then Vernon and James were given soil. Petunia's hand once more found Lily's and they stood looking into the grave.

Suddenly Lily felt like she was six again stood above her grandfather's grave. On that day Petunia had taken her hand and not let go. She felt that as long as she held Petunia's hand everything would be fine. But somewhere in her mind she knew that she would have to let go. She also knew with increasing certainty that when she let go this time it would be for the final time. That they wouldn't meet again.

Walking away from the grave they all went back to Petunia's house. Lily stayed close to Petunia for the entire time. The sisters said thank you to everyone who came and said something nice about their parents. They agreed that it was a tragic loss to the village. But as the day wore away and people left Lily was soon left alone in the house with Petunia, Vernon and James. She knew the time had come to say goodbye.

"It was a lovely ceremony Petunia."

"It was wasn't it?"

Lily watched as her sister rinsed the plates. She dried them while Vernon and James sat at the table sternly staring at each other. Lily was positive they were recalling how their last meeting had ended.

"So are you going to be staying in the village now?"

"No I don't think I could after that attack –"

"Attack? What attack?"

But the three of them ignored Vernon quite easily as Petunia continued.

"Vernon's taken the job in Surrey so we'll be moving there by the end of February. We're going down next week to look at some houses."

"Oh well make sure you have a large garden Petunia. You've got a way with flowers just like mum."

"Yes I do need a garden. That's what I told Vernon not that he quite understands why I need one so badly."

"That's where I was lucky with James. He understood that I needed a garden."

"Really?"

"Oh yes. The house he bought has a lovely front garden. It isn't all that big but there's a fish pond with security to stop Sammie from falling in. Then the back garden is so big. There's a vegetable patch and a neat flower bed. Then there are wild flowers running down the length and it looks onto a forest."

"You live in the country then?"

"Lancashire a little village called Godric's Hollow. It's lovely, very peaceful."

Petunia handed the last dish to Lily and she wiped it dry. The two sisters looked at each other and Lily hugged Petunia close.

"I love you Petunia, you know that right."

"I love you too."

They stepped back and Lily sighed.

"We're too different now aren't we?"

"Yes. We belong in different worlds now."

"So this is really goodbye?"

"I think so."

Lily just nodded. She saw a piece of paper on the counter and scribbled a small note.

"Send me your new address when you move in. Just so I can send birthday and Christmas cards."

Petunia just nodded. Lily doubted that she would hear from Petunia again. But at least she would be able to contact her if she really needed to. That's all Lily cared about.


	74. Seventy Four

Chapter 74

January melted away before everyone's eyes just like the blanket of snow. Howling winds took over making every one jump. Tension had built up from within the Auror department. Since the attack in Newton Longville there had been several attacks on muggle villages. Lily had learnt that each village held muggle relatives to members of Aurors. Voldemort was making the attack personal.

It was the 18th of February and Lily was definitely in a sombre mood. It was suppose to be Lyn's twenty-fourth birthday. But Lyn would never celebrate a birthday again. She had been dreading the lead up to the birthday for a while. It wasn't so much that Lyn wasn't around she felt that she should go lay more flowers or something at the gravesite. Yet she knew that she couldn't go there.

Things were so difficult at the moment that all things personal had to be pushed to one side. She hadn't even celebrated Valentine's Day with James because the pair were so busy. On the fourteenth itself they were in Dorset after Inferi had been spotted in a small market town. Things were certainly bad.

"Lily are you alright?"

Eddie gently placed his hand on her shoulder. She just smiled lightly at him. She knew that she looked terrible. Since the attack on her parents' home she hadn't been sleeping very well. She was lucky to get two hours a night. Somehow every time she closed her eyes she would see the attack over and over again as if she herself had been there. She was aware that because of this she had large black bags under her eyes and she didn't look all that well.

"I think you should go home."

"I'm fine Eddie."

"Lily I've been watching you for twenty minutes you're not fine. You're practically sleeping at this desk and you look ill. Go home and get some sleep."

"But –"

"That was an order Lily. Go."

With an ever so small nod she stood up. Her legs felt shaky as if they would give way at any moment. Her head started to spin and she had to grab hold of the desk to stay upwards. Closing her eyes for a moment she caught her breath and headed to the floo networks. She was too tired to travel by any other means.

As the spinning of the fire stopped she rolled out onto the carpet of her living room. The house was silent. Outside the wind howled and rain hammered on the window but inside it was dead. James was still in work and Libby had taken Sammie for the day.

Lily dropped onto the sofa and felt her body begin to shake. Tears fell over her face as finally all the emotion she had been building up for over a month erupted. She couldn't stop as tears ran off her nose and down her cheeks. Her body shook with emotion as the sobs left her. She didn't know how long she was like that but she was even more existed by the time she had finished.

Pushing herself she went into the kitchen and found a sleeping potion that James had gotten from Eddie. He was worried about her not sleeping. But Lily was refusing to take the thing and James couldn't force her. As small sobs still left her she poured it into a glass. She quickly downed the drink and went back to the sofa.

She reached it just in time as the potion took affect. Her eyes closed and the world of pain that she had been living in slipped away as a dreamless sleep replaced it.


	75. Seventy Five

Chapter 75

Even before February had ended Lily knew that one day she'd look back on the beginning of the year and see a rollercoaster of emotions. Things were changing so quickly from light hearted to dire, from funny to terrible. At times she found it difficult to imagine that she could have been happy at all during the first two months. But that's the thing with life it can change in a heartbeat.

The stream of attacks that had begun the year seemed to be thinning out by the twenty third of February. Things had calmed down so much that James had even arranged a poker night for himself. As the doorbell sounded Lily just lowered herself further into the hot bubbly water in the bath.

It was the first time in days that she felt relaxed. There's just something about a good bubble bath that does that to a girl. The glow of candlelight around her set up a peaceful mood and the wobblings of Stubby Boardman the lead singer of the Hobgoblins put her at ease. Things just felt right in that moment.

The thoughts of the outside world floated away as she submerged herself in the water. The noises of the four men downstairs were lost to her and even the bangs of Sammie hitting pans in the living room were silenced.

It felt like hours before the water had turned lukewarm. Forcing herself to move Lily stepped out of the tub wrapping a soft towel around herself. Then slowly she made her way into the bedroom. With the right words lights came on and she rummaged through her drawers finding a pair of sweatpants to put on.

Sitting on the edge of the bed she happily dried her hair. She felt so relaxed she was on the verge of falling asleep. However that feeling quickly evaporated as yells jumped through the house. After the last few weeks Lily was always ready and her reflexes worked wonders. She was down the stairs wand in hand before the yells had stopped.

"What's happened? Has there been another attack?"

The four men all turned to look at her stunned. Something told her that she may have just over reacted slightly. Lowering her wand she looked around. Sammie was curled up asleep on the sofa lost in a peaceful dream of some kind. Then Sirius was spread out on the floor with a load of chocolate close at hand. Peter was stood next to him wand pointed at the floor, it looked like he had been in the middle of doing a cleaning spell on some beers tipped on Lily's carpet.

Then Lily saw that James and Remus had frozen in an embrace. It dawned on them and some what awkwardly they pulled out of the position. Lily noticed that Remus had a glow to him that he had long been missing. James thumped him on the back though forcing him to look at him.

"Moony man tell Lily what you just told us."

"I asked Carly to marry me."

This time she heard the small groan from Sirius but she didn't take note. Instead she flung her arms around Remus' neck holding him close to her.

"That's fantastic Remus. Wait she did say yes didn't she?"

"Why wouldn't she? What have you heard Lil?"

Remus pulled back a little but Lily just smiled.

"Nothing I was just checking is all."

She moved in closer hugging him tighter to her.

"I can't believe you did that Moony. Now that's you and Prongs all settled. Looks like we're left the bachelors hey Wormtail!"

Peter didn't say anything but Lily could tell just from his expression that he wasn't as much the bachelor as Sirius thought. But she was broken from that thought by James.

"So any idea when the big day is going to be then?"

"Well we've talked about winter weddings before now. So maybe around about Christmas. Just think we can have a snowy wedding, it'll be just perfect."

"You sound like a woman Moony."

"Oh leave him alone Sirius. You know you really should consider settling down yourself. I mean you're not a teenager anymore."

"Lily don't speak such things! I'm a famous Quidditch player, we don't get married. We stay single for as long as possible so we can get the most from our female fans."

Lily watched as both Remus and James laughed at this. Sirius was trying to make fun of the situation. But Lily couldn't help but wonder if he knew what he was missing. But before she could ask he was speaking again.

"Anyway with both Prongs and Moony now permanently out of play it just means more wild nights out for me and Wormtail. Ain't that right Pete!"

"Umm… sorry Padfoot but I'm out too."

Lily more heard than saw the others dropping whatever they were holding. She knew it, Peter had a girlfriend. It was just something in his eyes had given it away. But something told her the other boys had no idea.

"What do you mean Pete?"

Peter smiled nervously at James obviously considering how to answer that question.

"Umm … well you see I've kind of been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks."

"You've got a girl too! So I'm the only single one?"

But everyone was ignoring Sirius as Remus asked the next question.

"Who is she? Do we know her?"

"You all know her. But I don't want to say. It's still early days."

Lily watched as Peter twisted his hands. Something was off and she didn't know what. But instinct was telling her that this wasn't the good news that they all thought it was.

* * *

Two posts in one today because I have a small problem at the moment. We had an electrical surge nearly two weeks ago and it blew a wire connection to my laptop. Due to this I have no internet and its rather difficult to get onto the main computer due to other people needing it for work. So until my father can find time to replace the wire its going to be slow posting.

Also there is another concideration. I have 5 months left until I graduate from university. Now these five months are going to fly by as everyone knows is always the case. So this term I have 7 essays, 1 exam, a presentation and a dissertation to write. So I'm going to be concentrating on them for a while.

But I want you to know that I haven't forgotten about this story and that I will be updating as and when I find the time.

Kris xx


	76. Seventy Six

Chapter 76

March arrived quickly and brought with it terrible thunderstorms. Lily sat in the bedroom of the small bed and breakfast in the Lake District looking out the window. James had definitely chosen the wrong time of year for them to go away together. The wind had been howling for days and they hadn't really been able to leave the place.

But then a weekend away was a weekend away. Sammie had been left with Eddie and they had been promised that no matter what happened they wouldn't be called. Even if Voldemort turned up at the ministry dressed in a mini skirt and flashing top and did the cancan they wouldn't be disturbed.

"Dot said that the storms suppose to break later."

Lily turned to see James stood in the doorway. He wore a small smile which made her knees buckle. He was just so perfect. She couldn't stop watching him as he moved over to stand beside her. His arms wrapped around her pulling her to stand in front of him. Together they stood looking outside.

"Do you remember the first time we stood like this watching a thunderstorm?"

Lily closed her eyes smiling gently. Oh she remembered it. They had just returned from their first real date when the heavens opened and all hell broke loose. The pair of them had stood by a window in the one of the corridors in the school and looked out over the lake. In fact it was very much like they were doing right then.

"I remember you jumping when the lightening got too close to the school."

"What me? Don't be silly Lily, lightening doesn't scare me."

He laughed kissing the tip of her head. Slowly she turned around in his arms and looked up at him. Going onto her toes she gently kissed him. The old sparks were still there. It sometimes amazed Lily that after everything they had been through that old chemistry still remained.

"James."

"Umm."

"Do you remember what happened after we watched the storm?"

He raised an eyebrow at her as the same sly grin crept across his features. Outside the storm was dying away as the meekest amount of sunlight escaped through the clouds. Without a hint James turned and ran out of the room. With a squeal Lily took off after him.

She couldn't help but laugh at the similarity of their first date. When the storm had ended James had grabbed her hand and ran outside. Light rain drops had attacked them but it hadn't been bad. Then James got to the lake and wrapping his arms around her had jumped in taking her with him. They then of course had to spend two days in the hospital wing recovering from pneumonia but it had been worth it.

James stopped as he reached the entrance to the building. Lily wasn't that far behind him. Instinctively she reached for his hand and allowed him to lead her outside into the brisk wind. Her hair streamed out behind her but all she could do was laugh. James had chosen well in this location. The bed and breakfast was practically on top of the lake.

He raced down to the edge of the water and just as he had done six years earlier wrapped his arms around her. Then as quickly as he could he jumped into the water causing a splash to fly up into the air.

The water was freezing and goose pimples ran the length of Lily's skin. But she really didn't care. She was lost in the moment. It was almost like being seventeen again and enjoying life without any of its complications. She pushed and pulled at James holding him under the water as he would try to lift her.

Voices echoed around them but she didn't care. They were probably telling them how stupid they were because it was too cold to go into water. But when life is so short why worry about things like that. She had learnt that good times were rare these days and opportunities like this; well you don't pass them up.

Finally the chill was beginning to attack. James' teeth were nattering together and Lily was sure that like him her lips were blue. Standing up she tried to make her way to the edge. But James grabbed her from behind and swung her back into the water.

"James I'm cold."

"I'll warm you up."

He raised his eyebrow making her laugh. A group of people were stood around watching them now as though they were mad. But yet they didn't notice. They were so absorbed in each other that nobody else mattered.

"Hey Lily look what I've found."

James had bent over in the water pulling something out. Lily watched as he lost his footing going down onto his knees. She made her way over and watched as he pulled his hand out of the water. She felt her own knees buckle as her eyes took in the sparkling ring.

"Lily Evans will you marry me?"

She could feel the tears already coming to her eyes but she didn't care. Without thinking she threw her arms around his neck bringing her lips to rest on his. The moment wasn't lost on her. He had recreated their first date and in that moment she knew that this was right. James was the man she was destined to spend the rest of her life with. This was true love.


	77. Seventy Seven

Chapter 77

Lily straightened her dress again. She felt so nervous. But she was being silly. Why should she be nervous? Downstairs laughter rang through the house. All of her and James friends had arrived and their big party had started. Yet she couldn't bring herself to leave the room. She was being very silly indeed.

But she knew what it was. She felt that people would judge her. There were things that she needed to sort before she could face them. But how would she be able to do that? A crash echoed followed by the mild tones of Sirius. He had to have broken something else. A small smile spread over her lips. It really wasn't a party until Sirius broke something.

"Lily are you in there?"

"I'll be out now James."

A small creak announced that he had opened the door. His head popped through the small gap.

"Eddie's wondering if you'll be joining the party."

"Tell him I'll be down in a minute."

"Are you alright?"

"Of course I am."

He stepped into the room fully now and closed the door behind himself. The look he wore told Lily that he understood what was going through her mind. Instinctively she crossed over and wrapped herself into one of his hugs. He kissed the top of her head gently and she felt safe, like she belonged.

"Larry would be happy."

"I know."

"If you don't want to announce it today I'll understand."

"No let's do it. Just give me a minute okay."

"Alright…"

"JAMES WHERE'S THE BROOM?"

The pair of them exchanged a look. They could hear Peter making his way up the stairs to find them. With a tiny sigh James disentangled himself from the hug and opened the door walking onto the landing.

"What happened Pete?"

"Sirius and Gideon were playing catch and Gideon missed."

"What were they playing with?"

"Lily's glass vase."

"SIRIUS! GIDEON!"

Lily laughed to herself as she heard James run down the stairs followed by Peter. It wasn't as if they couldn't fix the vase, they were wizards. But then that thought had probably not even crossed their mind yet. James would put it back together though without much trouble.

Again Lily ran her fingers over her dress straightening it. Why was she so nervous though? It made absolutely no sense. Her house was filled with all their friends nobody would begrudge her happiness. But her stomach was still knotted at the thought of going down there and telling them all that she was getting married.

Dropping onto the edge of the bed she lowered her head into her hands. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath. Without looking up she began to speak.

"Larry I know you're watching. I love him, I really do. He's become my world and if I can't be with him I don't want to be with anyone. I'm sorry if you don't like it but I'm going to marry him. Please just be happy for me, and give me the strength to face the world with this news."

A knock came from the door and Lily screamed jumping.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

Eddie grinned stepping into the room.

"You just took me by surprise."

"Well you worried me. This party has been in full swing for well over half an hour and as yet you haven't even shown your face. Why?"

Lily simply picked her left hand up and pointed it in his direction. She could see his eyes take in the simple designed engagement ring. It was a white gold band with a heart shaped diamond stone shining out for all to see. Slowly he looked up into her face and shrugged.

"Well yes that must be so heavy for you to carry, no wonder you couldn't make it all the way down the stairs. Maybe I should ask James to get you one that you can actually walk in."

Eddie's eyes were twinkling and Lily burst out laughing.

"Shut up!"

"Well I can't understand why that ring has stopped you coming downstairs."

"People will talk."

"That's got to be better than them looking at you in complete silence."

"Eddie!"

He moved and hugged her gently.

"Congratulations honey. You really deserve it."

"Thank you."

"So now will you come down to the party?"

"But what if people think I'm a hussy and that I'm only after James for his money."

"Umm Lily I think it's a little late for that. I mean you moved in with him over six months ago, in fact you might put an end to the whole hussy comments by marrying him."

"What hussy comments?"

"We're all your friends. Come on go announce it to everyone."

"You never answered my question!"

Eddie had already run from the room. Running her hands over her dress one last time Lily took after him. Looking around the room she could see her closest friends in the world gathered. Her healer co-workers Trevor, Kenneth and Charlton had joined Carly and Eddie in attendance. Then from the Auror department Fabian, Frank, Alice and Moody.

Of course they were also there as members of the Order, joined by Dedalus Diggle. Then of course there were Remus, Peter, Gideon and Sirius. No party would ever be complete without them. Again her stomach gave a lurch and she couldn't help but wonder why. These were her friends they wouldn't judge her.

Looking through the crowds she spotted Eddie stood next to Fabian. Moving straight towards him she slugged him in the arm.

"Hey what was that for?"

"You called me a hussy!"

"You called yourself one."

"But you called me a hussy!"

"No I said that you would stop the hussy comments by marrying James."

"See you called me a hussy again!"

Everyone in the room had gone silent listening. From the silence Sirius' voice echoed through the room.

"Say it isn't so! James you can't be serious!"

Lily turned smiling as around her news broke of her engagement. Hugs went around the room and all feeling of doubt left her. Why had she been so nervous? Her friends were happy for her. She just hoped that Rita Skeeter wouldn't break this story just yet.

* * *

Sorry for the delay with posting. My internet is still down, its been over a month now and it's a right pain. I'm hoping to get it fixed soon but in the mean time please just hang in there. It shouldn't be too much longer.

Kris xx


	78. Seventy Eight

Chapter 78

Smoke clung to the air around her. The tobacco smell in the air was intoxicating. Lily had never really been a fan of smoking; she had never seen the attraction. The smell though sent her back to childhood. It smelt just like the local pub in which her grandfather would take her on a Saturday afternoon to watch the football on the big screen.

Gently Lily placed her glass back onto the table and looked sideways towards Alice. They had been sat there now for near on three hours. She had lost count of the number of drinks they had ordered. However both were very much sober. This wasn't a typical girl's night out. They were on a stake out which meant they were sticking to the non-lethal butterbeer.

"I think this might be a bust Lily."

"I'm getting that feeling to Al."

"Yeah and besides its late and I'm tried. Maybe we should just call it a night."

Lily looked down at her wrist watch. It was close to eleven. She had thought that she'd be at home by now tucked up in bed. She was starting her shift at five in the morning and wanted a few hours' kip before going in.

"Yeah Al lets just go."

Lily stood up and moved to pick up her cloak. As she did so something caught her attention. The door had opened and a blonde woman had walked in. She was dressed in casual clothing but it showed off her figure perfectly. Without looking at Alice she picked up the glasses and headed towards the bar.

Placing them firmly down she turned sideways and attempted to put a surprised look on her face.

"Kayleigh?"

The blonde turned with a very false looking smile on her face.

"Lily it's great to see you again."

"And you. Here let me buy you a drink."

"Alright."

Lily turned back to the bar and caught the attention of the bartender.

"Two glasses of elderflower wine and a …"

"Small sherry."

"And a small sherry please."

Lily smiled looking back to Kayleigh. She though was looking around.

"So who are you drinking with then?"

"Oh my friend Alice. You can join us if you'd like."

"Oh I'm meeting someone sorry. But you know the Snifter isn't a good place to drink alone without a guy."

"Kayleigh I'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

"Oh I didn't mean you couldn't."

Lily turned and paid the bartender. Picking up the two glasses of wine she smiled at Kayleigh.

"Well it was good to see you again anyway. You know we really should organise that lunch together. It would be nice to catch up again."

"Yeah sure thing. I'll check my diary and owl you."

Lily just nodded forcing yet another smile. Turning she headed back to the table and placed the drink in front of Alice.

"Elderflower wine. Hope that's okay."

"What did they run out of butterbeer?"

Alice forced a laugh at her own comment. Lily sat back down and they watched Kayleigh at the bar. She was talking to the barman. She pointed at a corner and made her way over. Lily looked at Alice and pointed at the table. Alice laughed again as if Lily was the funniest person in the room. Then they slowly looked in the corner. Kayleigh was enveloped by darkness.

"She must know we're here spying on her."

"Don't be silly Lil of course she doesn't."

Lily took a small sip from her glass.

"What did she say to you anyway?"

"Not much but she did mention that she's meeting someone."

"Her informant maybe?"

"That's what I'm hoping Al."

The two looked again in the corner.

"It's a pity she didn't sit in the open though Al. Then we'd know who she's meeting."

Someone close to where she was sitting stood up. Lily watched carefully as he went to the bar before returning to his seat. Something about him was familiar but she couldn't put her finger on what.

"Lil did you see that? It's perfect."

"What?"

"The guy that's sitting in the corner by her. That's Dung! You know the new guy."

"Wait that's him! I didn't even recognise him."

"That's the point. All's not lost yet."

Smiling Lily took another sip of wine. Out of the corner of her eye she saw movement. Someone had just entered the bar. This person had a very dark cloak covering most of his face. Yes it was a man, his hair gave him away. Something about him made Lily feel sick. He stopped at the bar and spoke to the same man as Kayleigh. He then picked up a drink and headed over to the very corner the woman was in.

"Al…"

"I saw."

The two sat in near silence for twenty minutes. They nattered about small stupid things not to raise suspicion of those around them. Lily would laugh on occasions and Alice at other times. They touched very little of their wine. Then when they were both getting bored and anxious the pair stood up and left the bar.

Less than two minutes later Dung had followed them out. Lily picked up her drink and downed it. Making sure to yawn very widely she picked up her coat. With Alice on her heels they walked out of the bar. The filthy air of the east end of London hit their faces. A small signal directed them around a corner into an alley way. It was filled with rubbish and Lily wondered if there were rats about. She had a small phobia of rats.

"Did you two see who was meeting with our woman?"

"It was a man Dung. That's all we know. So tell us."

"Keep your knickers on Longbottom."

The man looked around nervously. Lily leaned in towards him as did Alice. In the smallest voice possible he spoke one name. A name that shook Lily all the way through to the tips of her chocolate brown boots. Things were worse than they had even guessed possible.

* * *

So my internet is back up and running but now there's something else that must be considered. I have 2 months left of uni and a lot of work to do. So the next post will be after I hand in the next 2 essays (March 23rd)

Kris xx


	79. Seventy Nine

Chapter 79

Lily couldn't stop tossing and turning. Her stomach was knotted and she felt completely sick. How could this have happened? How could they not have seen this coming? She had to do something that was clear. But what?

James gave a soft grunt in his sleep. Maybe she should tell him about it. But giving him a look she knew she couldn't. He had enough on his mind without this. She couldn't tell anyone. She had to act on the information she had learnt and quickly. She had sworn both Alice and that Dung man to silence. They had promised not to pass on the information and let her deal with it. But how would she do that?

Closing her eyes she knew the answer. She would have to talk to him. That was all there was to it. Turning over she looked at her clock. It was nearly six in the morning. It was too early to speak to him now. But he would be up. She could theoretically go and speak to him now.

It was no use. She wasn't going to get anymore sleep now. Stretching she climbed out of bed and headed down to the kitchen. Pulling out a pan she began to crack eggs. Placing them into a bowl she began to stir them, in the muggle way. She needed to work out all the stress she had. As a young girl she had watched her mother cook numerous things when she had been upset or angry. Something Lily had inherited.

Within twenty minutes she was eating scrambled egg on toast. Looking at the window she still felt torn. This was no good. She had to do something and she needed to do it now. With a well aimed spell the dishes washed themselves and she headed back to the bedroom. James had sprawled himself over the bed making himself very comfy by the look on his face.

Opening the doors to the wardrobe Lily found herself a pair of jeans and a long sleeved T-shirt. Shoving it on roughly she found her boots and pulled them on. Heading to the bathroom she found the brush and made sure her hair was tidy. She found herself in the kitchen once more. Quickly she scribbled a note to let James know she had gone into work early. Then with a pop she was gone.

Wrapping her arms around herself she waited for the door to be answered. There was no sound of movement from inside. Why did they never answer the door when she needed to see them? Picking up the pot plant she pushed her finger through the dirt until she found the key.

Placing it in the lock she opened the door silently. Walking as quietly as she could she found herself in the kitchen. It was empty. This wasn't right. It was just after six thirty in the morning, he should have been there. Where the hell was he? Pacing she tried to find a clue. Maybe he had spent the night with her. Yes that had to be it. That put her plan to failure then.

With a sigh Lily walked back outside. Carefully she placed the key back and put the pot back in its right place. There seemed nothing else to it. She would have to go to work early just like she had told James.

Lily tapped her foot as she waited for the lift to stop on level two. As the doors opened on her floor she went to step out. However something stopped her. The grates closed and the lift carried on moving. It stopped at level one and she stepped out. The minister's personal floor was silent. Nobody was ever here this early. But maybe she could find something she needed here.

Walking through the corridor she was surprised to find a light shinning under a doorway. Looking at the plaque on the wood it said 'Ministers personal secretary'. Shivers ran along Lily's body as slowly she raised her hand and knocked on the door.

"Enter"

She opened the door and looked inside. Peter was sat at his desk with a pile of papers surrounding him.

"Lily! What are you doing up here?"

"I've been looking for you."

"Really? Is everything alright? Nothing's happened has it?"

"How long?"

"Pardon."

"Peter how long have you been dating her?"

His stance changed so suddenly that Lily was surprised. He had gone from worried to tense and guarded in seconds.

"Kayleigh Sheppard. I saw the two of you together last night. How long have you been with her?"

"That's none of your business Lily."

"Pete I care about you. Please I want to protect you but I can't unless you answer my questions."

"Protect me! I'm a grown man Lily I don't need protecting. Especially not from Leigh."

"Leigh! For crying out loud Peter she's a Death Eater!"

"How dare you!"

He thumped his fists on the table in front of himself. Lily watched as he stood up. He had turned an unflattering shade of red that made her worry.

"Not that it's any of your business Lily but I've been with Kayleigh for nearly four months. She isn't a Death Eater she's a sensitive and caring woman."

"Pete please she isn't what you think she is."

"You just don't want to see me happy do you? You're like the rest of them. You don't think that anybody could want to be with me because I'm not handsome in the traditional sense. But I'm a good man Lily and I make her happy and more importantly she makes me happy."

"Peter no that's not it. I think there's a ton of women out there who would love you. You've got a fantastic personality, you really care about other people and you can cook and you're not afraid of housework. You'll make a perfect husband for someone. But not Kayleigh. I'm not trying to hurt you I want you to know the truth."

"Oh and what truth is that?"

"A while ago Moody sent me to spy on her. She was meeting Avery Senior and he's a known Death Eater. But she told him that she was in a position to spy on Dumbledore. She told him that she had the means to get information from someone close to him. We've been following her ever since. Then last night we saw you. I know that you're dating her and she's using you for information."

"No she's not! She's never once asked me anything about Dumbledore!"

"What about the Order? What about those who want to fight? What about your friends?"

"Lily she's never asked me anything like that. Why won't you believe me? I'm not stupid I'm not going to tell anyone anything that could be passed onto _them_. Has it crossed your mind at all that we're dating and that if she is a Death Eater, and I don't think she is, she's getting her information from somewhere else."

"No Peter I'm telling you she's using you. You have to break things off with her. If you do it now I won't tell Dumbledore that its you. We'll keep it between ourselves like it never happened. Please Peter it's all that we can do."

"Get out!"

He snarled it at her. She could see that his eyes had narrowed down to small slits.

"Pete –"

"Lily I said get out. GET OUT!"

Turning quickly Lily ran back to the lifts. She had blown it. This wasn't how she had expected it to go. Her only hope was that Peter had listened and that he would do what he knew was right.

* * *

Okay so I know I said next update after the 23rd March. But I've just finished one of my essays (4 more and a dissertation to go!!) and so since that means only one more to go this term, I thought I'd update something small for you. I shall try to update again next Friday (depending on if I finish another essay) otherwise it seriously will be after the 23rd.

Kris xx


	80. Eighty

Chapter 80

"Welcome everyone to the World Cup tie between England and Ireland. As everyone is well aware of the championship was postponed last year due to tragic events. However now we can finally get underway the last of the qualifying matches. May I remind everyone that the winner of this match will go through in August to play in the quarter final game against France."

Screams ran around the stadium as fans jumped up and down in their seats. Lily felt an air of excitement run through her as the Irish commenter worked the crowd. It was a lovely sunny afternoon with a warm breeze running through the crowd. It was surely a sell out and everywhere Lily looked she could see waving banners of either green or white.

She closed her eyes to the light and took in the deepest breath she could muster. It smelt like Quidditch. To most that would sound like such a strange statement but after years of attending countless games she had learnt that the smell of hotdogs, burgers, beers and soft grass always circulated the stadiums. It was a smell unlike anything else that sent the sensors off. One whiff of them all combined signalled that a Quidditch game was to be had.

It had been a very long time since Lily had last been to one of these games. In fact she remembered it as though it had only been yesterday. She had been four months pregnant and beginning to show. People had pointed at her whispering but she hadn't cared. She had sat happily next to Frank while they watched Puddlemere take on the Harpies. It would turn out to be Lyn's final game but at the time nobody knew that. Lily had sat there cheering the girls on. Sirius too had been in the air. What a match it had been. Full of excitement and hope.

"That makes up our Irish side. Now here come the English, a very different side to the one that was first put forward. So playing the position of Chasers we have Crystal Brown from the Bats, Vinnie Charles of the Cannons and Ronnie Sherwood of the Falcons. Then playing Beater today we have the Puddlemere favourite Sirius Black and from the Arrows Gideon Prewett. Taking position as Seeker we have a Tornado … Dean Humphrey and the teams Keeper for today is the lovely Sandy Weatherby from the Harpies."

Lily screamed once more as loudly as she possibly could. She could see Gideon and Sirius flying closely together banging their bats together in what had to be their version of intimidation. Cheers roared through the crowd as everyone got into the spirit of the game. Lily couldn't really believe how many English fans had travelled over to Ireland. A lot of them were spending the night in tents up and down the coast. Their group however were travelling VIP's and it meant that they would have the first port key out after the celebrations.

As the players lined up to start Lily looked around her. James was stood to her left holding Sammie tightly bouncing her in the air. She wouldn't realise that this was her first Quidditch game. She didn't realise yet how influential her father had been in the sport. But one day they would tell her of this game and how if things had been different her dad would have been lining up as chaser.

Standing next to James was Peter. He hadn't spoken to Lily since she had confronted him with the truth about Kayleigh. Things were certainly awkward between them but nobody seemed to notice. They were just being too polite to each other at the moment and it felt completely wrong to her.

On Lily's other side though stood Remus. He had a burger in hand already and was happily eating it while singing along to the English chants. Bits of mustard were falling around his lips and Carly was making faces at him. However nothing was done to clear it up. Looking at them Lily was surprised that Carly had come along. It was no secret that she wasn't a fan of sports but with Sirius playing she had probably been dragged.

"Come on England!"

Eddie stood right behind Lily. She knew him so well that she could just see him bouncing on his tiptoes already. He'd have his fingers crossed under his sleeves and would be keeping his eyes firmly between the Chasers and Humphrey to make sure he could yell at him to catch the Snitch. It was strange though having him in the stands. But then again the Irish Healers were covering the match so he wasn't needed.

Next to him were Alice and Frank. They had been badgered by Gideon and Sirius for nearly two months until they agreed to attend. Not that they were really bothered. It was an English Quidditch match the tickets had been sold out for over a year. But having both Gideon and Sirius badger you was tiring. Next to them stood Fabian. He was of course there to encourage his brother. He was kitted out in his own version of the English kit with Prewett on the back. To most he looked like an egger fan, not many knew that he was just there for his brother.

Lily had expected it to just be them in attendance. However there were three Weasley's in attendance too. Arthur Weasley was there with his two eldest boys Bill and Charlie. Lily had spoken to him briefly before they had gone up to the stands. She had discovered that Molly was at home with Percy who was two and their new born sons Fred and George. The Weasleys too were there for Gideon and the screams from the two boys gave that away.

As the whistle sounded Lily turned her attention to the field. She knew that they would be in for a great game.

* * *

"And did you see the way that Humphrey's jumped up off his broom to reach the Snitch before O'Neill could grab it!"

Sirius slapped Humphrey on the back as he downed yet another drink. The game had ended two hours earlier having lasted for five hours and twenty three minutes and two seconds. The English had won the game by two hundred and thirty points putting them through to the quarter finals.

As Humphreys had caught the small golden ball screams of pure joy had erupted throughout the stadium. Eddie had grabbed hold of Lily from behind hugging her head to his stomach as he screamed as loudly as she had ever heard him. Yes they had all been thrilled.

Now they were in a small pub just up from Cornwall. They had gone to the Irish pub for twenty minutes to show their faces and be sportsman like. But then the team had left to have a proper celebration party.

Lily shifted Sammie to a better position on her hip as around her people drank and laughed. James was happily listening to Sirius retell the game yet again to a bunch of rather young looking girls. That left her stood on her own in a corner. She watched Remus and Carly as well as Frank and Alice dance around the room. Fabian, Gideon and Eddie were standing by the bar laughing about something. She felt out of it and alone standing there.

"Its over."

She turned to find Peter stood there watching her with hard cold eyes.

"What?"

"My relationship is over. I hope you're happy."

Without another word he turned and stormed off. Lily watched feeling dread in her stomach. For some reason she no longer wanted to stay at the pub. Without telling a sole she left and went home. As she tucked Sammie into bed she couldn't help but worry about what would happen next.


	81. Eighty One

Chapter 81

"Who's the birthday girl? You're the birthday girl. Yes you are! You're the birthday girl! You're daddy's big birthday girl!"

Lily watched silently as James bounced Sammie around. He kept throwing her up in the air and catching her effortlessly. Her baby giggles were floating through the rooms as James happily carried on with the birthday lark.

Lily didn't really mind it was just that, well she was a year old! That wasn't possible. How could Sammie be a year old already? It practically felt like only last week she was in the hospital giving birth It couldn't really have been a year since Gideon and Sirius were doing the is she born yet thing.

"Lily have you seen the beautiful birthday girl all dressed up pretty for her party."

James stopped in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen a smile spread over his face. Sammie was happily pulling at his hair as he continued to bounce her. Lily smiled letting her eyes wander over the pink dress James had dressed her in. She really did look pretty.

"Sammie my gorgeous girl look at you!"

She laughed turning to look at Lily. Her hands let go of James' hair as she reached forward trying to grab her mum. Stepping closer Lily allowed the girls fingers to cling to her top pulling her arms around her daughters body.

The ringing of the bell echoed through the house and James ran to the door. Lily just smiled as she transferred Sammie to her other side placing the last of the plates onto the kitchen table. They had organised a small get together to celebrate Sammie's birthday.

"SAMMIE!"

Lily just smiled as Sirius grabbed hold of the girl and swung her around in a large circle. Laugher emerged from the spinning as Sirius began to bounce on the spot.

"Happy birthday to you! Little Sammie's having a do, happy birthday Sammie, Happy birthday to you!"

Sirius was singing the four small sentences over and over again as he carried Sammie into the other room where voices were beginning to sound. Biting her lip a little Lily couldn't help but wonder if Peter would turn up. It had been over a week since the Quidditch game and she hadn't seen him once. What if he didn't turn up? James would go nuts.

Stopping just short of the room Lily could see her guests. Sirius was of course there holding onto Sammie tightly refusing to let anyone else have her. Of course Gideon was putting up a good fight to try and get hold of her but he wasn't fairing all that well. Eddie was happily sat on the floor with Kimmie on his lap. Remus was next to them in some sort of debate with the healer.

Then there were three other people stood in the room James, Carly and Alice. The three were laughing happily looking at a picture up on the shelve. With a smile plastered onto her face Lily entered the room. Kimmie instantly stuck her tongue out and turned to smile at Remus. The sandy haired man looked up and winked at Lily. This seemed to be a cue for everyone to look at her.

"Hello everybody. Thanks for coming to help celebrate Sammie's birthday."

"Sirius I want to hold her!"

"She's staying with me."

Lily raised an eye as Sirius and Gideon carried on as though they hadn't noticed anything. Alice laughed gently and moved over hugging her close.

"Frank sends his best. He wanted to come but he couldn't find anybody to cover his shift."

"That's alright Alice, I'm just glad you made it."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. James said there's cake, I'll go anywhere for cake!"

Lily grinned as finally Sirius relented and handed Sammie over to Gideon.

"There's my stunning girl. Give Uncle Gideon a kiss."

Everyone turned to see her lean in and kiss him on the lips gently before poking her finger up his nose. She gurgled with delight.

"That's my girl. Oh and before I forget Uncle Fabian couldn't make it today, he's really sorry but something's come up and it can't wait."

Gideon didn't say what that something was but it was clear that it wasn't official ministry business. Lily's stomach squirmed with the thought of what dangerous mission he could possibly be on now. But they couldn't discuss it with Carly and Eddie in the room. After all neither one were members of the Order.

As Lily thought that she looked around. Libby wasn't with Eddie, he had Kimmie but his wife was missing. That was strange because only the day before Lily had gone shopping with Libby to get the food for the party and they'd been talking about it. Libby had made no mention of not coming herself.

"Eddie where's Libby?"

"Oh her mother isn't well. She has an infection or something like that they took her into St. Mungo's last night. And well Sebastien is all of a flutter he's really worried about Aretha so Libby's gone to keep him company."

Lily nodded as Sirius jumped to his feet.

"Is it present time yet? Because I've got this wonderful present. Oh can we have present time now?"

"Come on Sirius we have to wait for Peter to get here first."

Lily cast a quick look over at James. He had spoken in an even voice as he leaned against the mantle above the fire. His eyes were on Sammie and he seemed very sure of the fact Peter would be there. But all that changed with a small umm from Remus.

"I don't think Pete is coming mate."

"What do you mean he isn't coming Remus? Of course he's coming."

"He left a present for Sammie on the table with a note asking us to bring it. If he was coming don't you think he would have brought the present himself."

James' posture changed instantly as he stood up straight looking at Remus.

"He's not coming?"

Remus just shook his head looking uneasy. James' attention slipped though to Sirius.

"Did you know about this?"

"Of course not mate. But…"

"But what?"

"It doesn't really surprise me. Peter hasn't really been himself lately."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Come by the house and have a look. It's filthy it hasn't been cleaned in over a week. There's no food in the fridge, which is why I'm always here by the way. And well I haven't seen Peter since the Quidditch game. He's either coming in very late and leaving way too early or he's not coming home at all."

An uneasy atmosphere descended onto the room. It felt as though everyone was holding their breath waiting to see how James would react to that. Sammie's laugh and the sound of her hand hitting Gideon's face broke the trance. James turned and looked at his guests a very much forced smile on his face.

"Excuse me a moment."

He stormed from the room heading towards the kitchen. Lily turned on her heel and had to run to follow him. By the time she reached the kitchen he already had floo powder in his hand and the flames in the fireplace were ignited waiting for his destination. Without thinking she grabbed at his hand ensuring to cup the fist full of powder.

"Lily let go."

"James don't."

"He should be here. He's part of this family and I won't have him missing the party."

"James if you force him to come it'll just spoil it. It's obvious that he doesn't want to be here so let's just forget him and enjoy the day with the friends who actually decided to come spend the day with us."

"But Lily he's one of my oldest friends. He should be here."

"Yes but like Sirius said he's in a funny mood. Let's not go chasing after him, it'll just spoil Sammie's birthday and she's only going to be one once. So let's make the most of the party, we'll open presents and eat cake. Then tomorrow you can go hunt him down and say whatever you like to him. But please for me don't do it today."

Lily stared into his eyes sending him silent messages. Slowly he took a step backwards from the fireplace and she let go of his hand. He placed the powder back into its container and they went back into the living room. Everyone was silent as James took his stance next to the fire again. Lily though smiled merrily at Sirius and nodded at him slowly.

It was the signal he'd been waiting for. He jumped and ran to the back of the room and picked up a long thin parcel from the table set under the stairs. With a hop in his step he got back to the living room and dropped on the floor next to Gideon. Sammie leaned over pulled on his top and he moved her onto his lap.

"This Sammie is a very special present. When your older you'll be telling all your friends about this very moment when your Uncle Sirius gave you the best present in the world."

A small laugh from James' direction seemed to lighten everyone. Lily along with the other guests watched as Sirius helped Sammie to pull at the paper. Lily could only laugh as Sammie pulled the paper into her mouth sucking on the stuff. Gideon though was quickly pulling it back out.

"Tada!"

Lily felt her eyes widen as she watched in horror at the gift hovering inches from the ground.

"Sirius it's a broom!"

"Yes it is Lily. It's Sammie's first broom."

"Sirius mate you can't give my one year old a broom. It's too dangerous."

"Oh don't be daft James its completely safe. I mean it doesn't go far off the ground."

"Sirius my daughter is not having a broom. Tell him to take it back James!"

But Sirius just shot her a look as he handed Sammie over to Gideon. Standing up he took the broom into his hand and smiled at her.

"Look Lily it isn't dangerous."

He swung his leg over and sat on the broom. He was obviously too tall for it so he wrapped his legs up under it so as not to touch the ground. Then suddenly without warning he slipped and fell hard to the floor. Around them echoed laughter as Lily shot Sirius a knowing look. He smiled in a defeated way.

"All right we'll put it aside until she's two."


	82. Eighty Two

Chapter 82

April seemed to last an eternity for some unknown reason. Maybe it was the fact that things weren't right. The weather had taken a sharp turn and snow had fallen again three days after Sammie's birthday. When that had finally died down it had been replaced by downpours of rain and thunder storms.

It wasn't just the weather that had been playing up it was the people too. Several disappearances of wealthy wizarding folk had been announced. Yet it didn't seem right that they had just vanished. Some of them had turned up in the strangest of places at the oddest times. But that was just one of many things. Lily's life was turning upside down.

The days following Sammie's birthday she had hardly seen James. He had been out and about on the trail of Peter. The man had been dodging him though. But finally they had caught up. Lily didn't know what had been said but she knew that Peter had claimed that he hadn't wanted to see her. James had given her a look but she had been unable to read it. The mention of Peter had been forgotten since.

But April had faded now and May had shown itself. To Lily's surprise she woke up almost a month since Sammie's birthday with the realisation that in only three weeks she would be marrying James. It was a fact that surprised her greatly. Maybe that was because unlike with the preparations for her last marriage she hadn't done anything. James was organising the whole thing on his own as a surprise to her.

She had been able to pitch in on some things though. James had wanted to have lilies in the wedding but she wasn't having it. He claimed he thought it would be sweet but after three days straight of arguments he finally relented and allowed her to have tulips instead.

The only other in put she had had was on the colours of the wedding. James had wanted to use the colours lilac and violet. But when Remus had found out he had gone straight to Lily with the news. It was a good thing too because it seemed that James didn't realise the significance of those colours. But after a twenty minute conversation she reminded James that lilac had been the colours used for the wedding with Larry. He had understood straight away and gone to find a chart so they could pick the colours together. They had finally settled on silver.

However due to the lack of input Lily had had in the wedding she had not noticed that time was escaping her. With three weeks left she realised what a mistake this was. With three weeks left to go she hadn't chosen her wedding dress! So with a day off in sight she had convinced Alice and Carly to go with her and they were out in muggle London looking at wedding dresses.

It was such a strange sensation for her to be looking once more at the white dresses that lined the windows. It seemed like a life time ago that she had done this for the first time. She smiled at the memory of herself wandering around with Megan and Lyn looking for the prefect dress. Then how they had bumped into her mother on that day, well that wouldn't be happening this time.

"Lily what about this one?"

She turned to find Alice holding up a white dress. It looked delicate as though it would rip at the tiniest of touches. The thought of holding Sammie while in that sent shivers down her spine. Alice must have read the expression off her face because she put it back.

"Hey look at this one its pink!"

Carly was waving what could only be described as a giant marshmallow in the air for them to look at. The bottom puffed out in lace over what looked like satin and would give the impression of a very fat bottom to passer-bys.

The three laughed as shaking their heads the left the shop to look at another one. As they walked down the busy street Lily linked her arms with the other two. They had had a full and fun morning. Already they had been into five shops looking for the perfect dresses. But all they had found were occasions to laugh.

"Hey Lily the rate this is going you'll be getting married in a nightie!"

"Oh thanks Carly."

"Your welcome."

Lily laughed as they came to yet another bridal shop.

"Have you thought to try in Diagon Alley?"

"But I don't want a wizarding dress. I want a traditional muggle one, you know to symbolise the past."

"They do make muggle bride gowns. They go in and out of fashion in the wizarding world. Take when I married Frank. Two in three brides were wearing muggle dresses to get married in. I didn't though, his mother would have gone nuts."

"Really?"

"Definitely. Augusta is a traditionalist everything has to be as it was in the good old days."

"So what did you wear then Alice?"

The blonde woman looked at Carly smiling gently.

"A pink gown."

"The marshmallow thing!"

Lily snorted a laugh throwing her hand over her face in horror. The other two just laughed harder as Carly picked up some yellow dress from the rack and held it against herself wrinkling her nose.

"It wasn't a marshmallow dress. It was pink dress robes. It was really tight mind; Augusta didn't like the fact that it didn't leave much to the imagination as she put it. But oh it was gorgeous and suited me so well. It was very tight on top but loosened out on the shoulders into broad sleeves that flowed to my wrists, with slits all the way up. Then it was fitted as far as the waist and fell loosely down to the ground."

Alice's eyes had glazed over as she visited the memory of her own wedding day. Lily watched silently hoping that maybe one day she'd have that very look thinking about her wedding. But Alice snapped out of it quickly and shot Carly a look.

"What do you want? Muggle dress or wizarding robes?"

"I've already chosen mine."

"What?"

Alice and Lily shared a glance as Carly shrugged her shoulders gently. She looked around the room as though making sure that Remus wasn't around.

"I've chosen robes the colour of sapphires. It's almost like a bodice top and then from the waist twists down to the floor."

"I can't believe that you've already got the dress!"

"Well some of us don't wait until three weeks before the wedding to buy our dresses."

"How long did you wait then?"

Lily shot Carly a quizzical look and the girl slowly smiled.

"Fine but I didn't tell you alright. September tenth, keep that day free."

Lily felt her mouth drop as the three smiled. Remus was actually getting married and on the tenth of September. She couldn't wait for him to tell her the date. Oh and picking out a dress to wear, maybe something green that could set off her hair and her eyes, and Sammie in a little pale blue dress. Oh she'd look lovely in that.

"Earth to Lily! Come in Lily."

She shook her head giving an embarrassed smile. She had completely zoned out there for a moment. Turning she held her breath as something caught her eye. Walking slowly towards it she stopped smiling. This was it, the perfect dress.

Nodding at the assistant she took it into the changing rooms and slipped into it. Stepping out for her friends to see she could tell that this was the one. Looking at herself she felt that this was right, this was what was suppose to happen. But as she stepped back into the changing room she couldn't help the small knot of worry that told her maybe this would end the same way as her last wedding.

* * *

Okay so I don't know if any of you have read my profile page lately so I'm going to update you on here quickly. My computer has died, in the middle of writing my dissertation and it won't open any word documents! But I've managed to get on my sisters laptop today. However won't be able to again. So no more post until my new laptop gets here (should be next Thursday but then I've got to install all the programmes and things) so basically its likely to be 2 weeks. Sorry 

Kris xx


	83. Eighty Three

Chapter 83

The early morning sunlight sparkled through the large bay windows as the soft singing of the birds twinkled in the air. Lily closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Calm, she needed to relax.

"I found your shoe!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Lily screamed causing Eddie to drop the shoe onto the soft carpet taking a jump backwards. Opening her eyes she could see that he was straining himself not to burst out laughing at her outburst. But she couldn't help it she was stressed.

"Here give me your foot."

Lily lifted her left foot off the ground and Eddie slipped the shoe onto it. She took a deep breath and stood up looking into the mirror. Her ivory satin dress fell neatly around her ankles hugging her every curve gently. Raising her arms she gently pushed her loose curls out of her eyes and couldn't help but smile.

"You look beautiful Lily."

"Thanks Eddie. Have you seen my veil though?"

His intake of breath caused her to spin around to face him. He was dressed simply in a black muggle tuxedo with a silver waist coat which suited him so perfectly.

"You don't know where it is do you?"

"Lily calm down I'm sure its here… somewhere."

"Somewhere!"

She felt her eyes widen as her breath caught in her throat. Once more the panic was setting in. Eddie quickly moved into the kitchen and came back with two glasses of bubbling Champaign. He offered her one glass but she was reluctant to take it.

"Lily take it."

"But we have to find my veil."

"Calm down that's easy. Accio Veil."

His wand had appeared in his hand from nowhere. Relief of a strange kind took over Lily's body. For a moment she had forgotten that she was a witch, the idea of picking up her wand had slipped from her mind. From the look on Eddie's face he was aware of that.

Suddenly a whoosh sound caught her attention and she smiled as the ivory and silver veil flew into view. Eddie caught it with his free hand while sipping the Champaign that he held in his other. Lily let out her breath again as she sipped her own drink.

"You need to relax Lily. Everything is fine."

"I know it's just… I'm getting married today. I can't believe it, really. Do you think I look okay?"

Eddie's eyes moved along her body as he nodded. His gaze though stayed on her shoulders.

"The straps on the dress are removable right?"

"Yeah."

"Let's take them off. The dress will look better without the straps, and it's so tight it's not likely to fall off."

Turning back to the mirror Lily placed her glass onto a side table. Carefully she played around with the straps until they became loose and she slipped them off. Eddie had been right the dress looked like it was made for her now.

She was startled from her thought as Eddie leaning over her ran the comb that held the veil into her hair. The ivory of the veil matched her dress perfectly and the silver lines running through it was amazing.

The smile that spread to her face came from nowhere. She couldn't stop it at all. Eddie squeezed her arms grinning himself.

"Well Lily last chance to back out."

"I'm not backing out."

"Well in that case its time to head to the church."

Eddie held tight onto her arm gently and together they closed their eyes and left for the church.

"There she is! There's the bride. Get that photo!"

As soon as they arrived flashes went off. Lily knew that it was the prophet. They had ran the story yesterday that she was marrying James and announced that photos would follow in Sundays special report. She found it rather sad that after all the time that had past they still focused on her.

But as the flashes continued she didn't care in the least. Eddie steered her gently into the church and they were met by Remus. The man smiled and Lily took his hug gratefully.

"You look amazing Lily."

"Thanks Remus."

"James isn't going to know what hit him."

She laughed softly as Eddie squeezed her arm gently. She looked at him and nodded at Remus. The man entered the main part of the church and announced her presence. Lily waited with Eddie in silence until the music of the organ sounded. As the march echoed through the church she smiled at her friend and together they entered the church.

To her surprise the pews were filled. The faces of the guests though were blurs as her eyes landed on James. He was stood at the alter dressed in the same suit that Eddie had on. As their eyes locked neither could look away. The smile on Lily's face widened and she noticed that James too was grinning from ear to ear.

The walk seemed to take forever but then she was there. Eddie let go of her arm kissing her forehead gently lowering the veil over her face. James' hand suddenly slid into hers and fluttering took over her stomach. Smiling even wider she looked once more into his face.

As the hymns began Lily couldn't even work out what it was. She thought that maybe it was Lord of the Dance. As they hit the chorus she was sure of that, and looking at James she mouthed a thank you. She had to wonder why he had picked this very song, it was a family favourite. It had been played at her parents wedding, at her sisters wedding and even at the funerals of her family. It was truly their family tune.

The ceremony was almost a blur to Lily. She repeated the words that she was told to by the priest not really taking them in. That was until James squeezed her hand tightly. For the first time Lily noticed Sirius stood next to James. He had moved forward presenting two rings wrapped in a cloth. The priest gently spoke a set of vows to James. Then he turned taking a ring from Sirius and looked deep into Lily's eyes.

"I, James, take you, Lily, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

James slipped the golden band gently onto her wedding finger. With a smile she waited for the priest to speak her part and slowly taking a breath she repeated her promise to James.

"I, Lily, take you, James, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

Then leaning over to Sirius she took the ring from him. The man gave her a soft wink as she took the ring and placed it onto James' finger. She smiled looking gently up at him and before she knew it James was being told to kiss her. His hand came up to her face pushing the veil back. His lips went to hers brushing them gently.

As they pulled apart she heard James whispered voice.

"We did it."

"Yep."

"Mrs Potter."

The smile widened on her face at this. They turned to face the mass of people sat in the pews and as they did she noticed somebody slipping out the door. The mass of blonde hair gave it away to her straight away. Petunia had watched her get married, admittedly she had slipped away before speaking to her but she had been there.

It seemed an eternity to Lily as she stood for the photos to be taken. She smiled happily holding onto James and grinned when she was surrounded by James, Eddie and Sirius with Sammie bouncing on his hip. But finally they made it to the reception.

A large table filled with cold food lined a wall and people were happily filing passed to get things to eat. Her attention however was on the party itself. Around them people were laughing and dancing, all thoughts of the evil in the world was erased for just that one day.

James took her hand leading her to the floor and they danced together as man and wife. She couldn't believe that she had finally done it. She had married her prince Charming, the man she was made to love. As she twirled in his arms she spotted a mass of their friends gathered together. What made her smile though was that among them stood Peter. At least he had turned up for their wedding, if he hadn't James would never have forgiven him.

"So Mrs Potter how do you feel?"

"Like the luckiest woman in the world."

And she really did. As she leaned in close to kiss James she couldn't imagine a more perfect day.

* * *

I've been trying to post this chapter for four days. Ever since I realised that it was the wedding one. I wanted to get it up so that if you had to wait two weeks at least you'd have had their marriage chapter.

But good news really I know that I said it would be two weeks until another post. But I've got my new laptop and I'm offically half way through my dissertation. I only have two more sections to complete. So if I get through the next section this week, you might get another post on Friday, otherwise I'll try to post on the weekend before I start the last one.

Kris xx


	84. Eighty Four

Chapter 84

The lock opened and Lily squealed as James picked her up.

"What are you doing?"

"Carrying you into the house. What does it look like?"

"James!"

Her feet touched the carpet and she looked up into his eyes. This felt right to her. His lips came down to hers and she kissed him tenderly.

"James."

"Umm."

"Can we go pick Sammie up now? I miss her."

"Me too. Who would have thought that after just two weeks we'd want her back?"

"Hey she's our daughter."

"Yes she is."

He kissed her again opening the door to the living room. She considered going straight to Eddie's to pick Sammie up but thought that maybe she should put her bags upstairs first. As the door opened though she heard a noise that sent her jumping from her skin.

"SURPRISE!"

The living room was jam packed with people. There were healers, Aurors and order members. James shared a look with her and was off. She entered the room to find him already holding Sirius in a headlock.

"Lily!"

She spun to see Eddie holding Sammie in his arms.

"Sammie! Eddie!"

She had them in a hug instantly and then swung the little girl around.

"Who's mummy's big girl then? I've missed you."

"Dada."

Lily's eyes widened and she looked at Eddie. He smiled gently looking at the girl too. Her first word! Sammie had said her first word.

"JAMES!"

Silence fell on the room as everyone looked at her. It was obvious that the party had been going some time before they arrived judging by the empty plates and bottles everywhere. James who was in the middle of rumpling Remus' hair stopped and looked at her.

"What Lily?"

"Listen! Listen!"

She held Sammie up so that she could see him. The girl wiggled in Lily's arms obviously trying to get to James.

"Dada."

He fell silent looking at the girl. In an instant he was across the room hugging and swinging her around.

"Who's a clever girl then?"

"Dada."

The grin on his face spread wider as he kissed her cheeks.

"That's right I'm your dada."

"Dada."

"Lily can you hear this?"

"Yes honey."

"She's calling me dada."

"Dada."

He laughed leaning in to kiss Lily's cheek.

"Come on lets go show Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus what a clever girl you are."

The noise had picked up again as people laughed and joked. Lily saw Charlton stood over by the bookcase and was just making her way over when she was stopped by someone blocking her way.

"Lily can we talk."

"Sure Pete."

He took her arm and led her out of the room and into the kitchen. She dropped onto a wooden stool while he paced a little back and forth.

"Lily I just want to say I'm sorry."

"No Pete listen I should have handled things better."

"That doesn't matter Lily. Truth is that I didn't want to see what you were saying as true because I liked Kayleigh."

"So you've really finished things with her."

"Yes. You're right of course. She has to be a Death Eater, the way she speaks about purity of blood and the filth of this world, she couldn't be anything but."

"Are you alright."

"I will be. Just do me a favour and don't tell the guys who I was dating."

"No problem Pete. Your secret is safe with me."

She smiled just thankful that things were sorted between them. It never crossed her mind to wonder if he was being truthful; it never crossed her mind that he would be able to lie. But in the final seconds of her life this conversation would flash back to her and the truth would be plain to see. Yet at the present she took the man at his word, after all she had no reason to doubt him.

* * *

Okay so this is up quicker than I promised. I know. I've basically finished my dissertation. So yeah more post for you. Enjoy. Kris xx


	85. Eighty Five

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Carly. You've been a star in helping me with this and I just hope that after you read it you'll like how it ends. After all this was your idea!

Chapter 85

July was turning out to be the warmest that the country had experienced in years. The atmosphere of evil though still high seemed to be forgotten by all. It was almost impossible to worry about such things when the weather was so beautiful.

Lily sighed gently as she picked up her quill filling in another form. It seemed that paper work was just beginning to pile up now. No matter how many hours a day she spent doing it there always seemed to be more.

"Healer Potter what is the green form for again?"

She smiled gently at Sue the newest recruit to the department.

"Green forms are the ones you fill in to state that you were present at a certain location at a given day. For example I'm filling in the one that says that on the seventh of July I was in Leicester with the Aurors Fabian Prewett and Robert Persaud. Then you move onto the orange form with the details of that day. See I've already filled that in saying that we went there after a tip that two Death Eaters were holding a prisoner there. We went into an abandoned muggle warehouse where we found the body of one Marcus Brunt."

Sue nodded her head and gave a tiny smile. She looked a little lost.

"Don't worry Sue it gets easier."

"There's just so many forms. I know that the purple one is the form used when you're being transferred back to the hospital. Roger keeps warning me about those ones."

Lily laughed lightly.

"He would, I've lost count of the number of times he's been threatened with them! But let's see what other forms do you need to know about, green, orange oh and pink. The pink form is the one you fill in if when you get to a location you find someone dead. So as in the case I was talking about I need to fill in the pink form with the details about Marcus Brunt. But they're the only ones you need to worry about."

"But what about the blue forms? And the yellow and red?"

"Blue forms are the disciplinary forms. So only the person in charge on a given day can fill them in. Then the red form is the one that we fill in if one of us in injured while out with the Aurors and the yellow is the death form. When one of us is killed on duty whoever is in charge fills it in. Like I said you won't need to worry about them."

The woman had turned a sickly white colour.

"Do people die then?"

Lily just nodded her head slowly.

"But Sue don't worry. You're only a trainee and you're not expected to go out on your own. There's always Aurors about and you'll be going out with another healer."

She looked slightly better but not much. However Lily didn't have time to worry about that. Douglas Radice came running into the office looking as if the devil himself was chasing him, or at least Voldemort.

"Potter Moody wants to see you now."

She nodded following the man out of the office. He tripped over his foot as he went and flew head first into a table. The Auror, Betty, leaned over and picked him up. Lily though didn't pay any attention to that as she made her way over to Moody. He was stood next to Crouch not looking at all happy.

"You wanted to see me Sir."

"I need you to call all available healers in Potter. I've just received word that there's an attack in Brighton on some beach. It's some sort of Muggle hotspot."

"Yes sir I know."

She turned and ran back into the office. Her wand brushed the list of names up on the wall, Eddie, Carly, Charlton, Roger, Trevor, Ryan, Martha, Stephanie, Steve, Kenneth, Charlotte, Tobias and T.J. Her mind was spinning though. Brighton was sure to be packed on a day like this. It was the end of July all the muggle children were off school and it was so warm they'd be at the beach.

"Healer Potter what's happening?"

"Sue there's an attack. I need you to stay here and man the fort."

"What?"

"Keep charge. If you hear that there's need of a healer somewhere, other than Brighton that is, go to the hospital and get someone to go with you."

"Yes Healer Potter."

"I'm heading off now, when the others get here tell them to head to Brighton beach, there's an attack tell them."

"Yes Healer Potter."

She didn't wait any longer as she turned and ran out of the offices. Moody had collected together a number of Aurors. Half of them were already heading to the elevators and it was clear he'd started briefing them in groups. She ran after the first lot and wasn't surprised by who were gathered.

"Lily where're the rest of the healers."

"Heading in now, I'm the only one on duty, with a trainee!"

James wrapped his arm gently over her shoulder. His eyes were focused ahead of him as the lift pulled up and they stepped inside. Fabian pushed the down button and the gates closed. They all remained silent in the contraption as it clinked downwards. She noticed that Frank was gently holding Alice's hand as they came to a stop. The five stepped out and ran to the middle of the massive atrium.

With resounding pops the left the safety of the ministry heading into danger…

It was like all hell had broken loose. Spells flew overhead as everyone tried to take cover. A rouge spell headed across the sand heading straight at Remus. Without taking her eyes off the assailant she was in battle with Lily sent Sapphine to guard her friend.

As Lily fired yet another curse at the Death Eater in front of her something, or someone bumped into her from behind. A shield went up around her as she turned to look. Sirius was panting heavily with a terrible gash forming on his cheek.

"Lily this is madness."

"I know! You alright?"

"My head hurts, and I think I've been hit by some kind of gruesome boil spell, my leg is covered in them."

The shield was still protecting them so she picked his trouser leg up gently.

"You're right. But it's a simple reversal potion. When this is all over I'll make you one."

"Thanks Lily."

The shield went down and she fired a spell sideways at a masked woman. She hit the ground with a groan and Lily sped off towards an overturned car. An explosion sent bits of metal flying just to Lily's left and she felt something sharp cut her arm. She didn't stop though as she dropped behind the vehicle.

She panted hard as she looked around at the mess that was being caused. Muggles were running everywhere screaming as misaimed spells struck. As Lily got ready to run towards an arcade which was holding about seven Death Eaters she spotted a pair of legs that she knew next to an ice-cream van.

In five steps she was hidden behind it, just in time to avoid a horrible looking purple cloud.

"Eddie."

Her friends face was covered on one side with blood. His breathing was hard and irregular. His eyes opened and she noticed that they weren't white as normal but a pink, suggesting that the blood vessels in his head were popping.

"Eddie can you hear me?"

He moved his hands and managed to take hold of her fingers. There was hardly any strength in his movement. Lily could see his mouth moving and leaned close to hear his words.

"Eddie I can't hear you. Say it again."

"I love you Libby."

His voice was barely there and then he spluttered. His hand slipped from Lily's and she felt her own eyes widen. Tears began to spill before she could stop them. Gently she reached forward and closed Eddie's eyes. Taking a breath she closed her own and still with tears falling she left the safety of the truck and ran out again.

Everything was falling apart. This wasn't suppose to happen. From somewhere Lily heard her name being called. She turned and spotted Gideon behind some sort of bricked bus stop. Looking around she fired a spell at a near by Death Eater and ran behind it.

"Lily you have to help her."

Gideon was pale and had blood all over his top. She turned her attention to the woman on the ground. The dark hair framing her face made the woman look paler than a ghost. A red stain sat around her mouth and Lily knew she had vomited blood. An indication of internal haemorrhaging. As Lily looked at the woman it took a moment for the identity it sink in.

"Carly?"

"Cold."

Her teeth were chattering and Gideon took off his shirt placing it over the woman. He shared a look with Lily as he made his way to the edge of the enclosed bus stop to fire spells to keep them safe.

"Carly where does it hurt?"

"It doesn't."

The injured woman coughed and a trickle of blood left her lips. Her eyes though were focused completely on Lily.

"I'm sorry Lily."

"Whatever for Carly?"

"You're going to have to go fill in a yellow form. I know how you hate doing those."

"Don't talk like that Carly. You're not going to die."

The woman coughed again and her eyes closed.

"Carly, stay with me. You can't go to sleep."

It took her a few seconds to open her eyes. She winced as she tried to move.

"Carly stay still."

"I need to see Remus."

"You will in the hospital."

"I'm not going to make it to the hospital."

"Yes you will."

"Lily I'm a bloody healer. I know when someone's dying."

Lily bit her lip but the woman gave her a soft smile.

"Sorry. It's just I'm scared."

"Carly don't be I'm going to help you."

"You can't do anything. Internal bleeding, I'm already dead."

"No you're not."

"They hit me with the slow death spell Lily. As soon as it connected I was dead. It's just slow and painful."

"Let me take away the pain then."

"No Lily. Pain is good, helps me know I'm still alive."

Tears were still playing in her eyes but she tried to control them.

"Where's Remus?"

"Out there fighting."

"He shouldn't have come."

Carly coughed and more blood fell from her lips.

"We were out having a picnic in the Lake District. Remus had surprised me with it. Then I got the call for the attack and he insisted on coming with me. I couldn't stop him. I just hope he isn't hurt."

"He's not Carly."

"Have you seen him?"

"Yes he's on the beach fighting. He's not alone though Sirius is down there and Frank and Fabian."

"That's good."

"Yes."

Her eyes closed again and Lily took her hand. It was like ice. The woman opened her eyes once more and tried to smile.

"I always thought that deaths in battle were quick and painless."

Lily nodded as the tears came from her eyes quicker. Carly was coughing more now and spluttering as she wheezed trying to draw breath. Her eyes went out of focus and then Lily felt her squeeze her hand.

"I think this is it Lily."

"Carly no –"

"Yes. Just do me a favour Lily. Tell Remus and my parents that umm tell them that I umm tell them that I said something."

She coughed again louder and then she began to struggle. She couldn't pull in enough air and then the sound stopped. Lily began to shake as she gently let the woman's hand go. She turned and almost vomited as the tears flew now from her eyes.

"They're leaving. I can see the Death Eaters going. Everything's going to be okay. We'll get you to a hospital now Carly."

Gideon turned around slowly. His eyes went from Lily to Carly. Lily couldn't help the sobs that escaped her mouth. In one quick movement Gideon wrapped her up in his arms. She sobbed against his bare chest clinging to him as if for life. Then from nowhere at all her head began to spin and everything went black as she collapsed.


	86. Eight Six

Chapter 86

The saying is that time flies when you're having fun. The same can be said when you're not. Although each day seemed to drag out before them they were slipping away quicker than they should.

Five days had passed since the attack down on Brighton beach. Lily had come round still in Gideon's arms. She had held onto him tightly while they sat there. It had felt almost like an eternity before Alice's face had appeared to them. Gideon had passed Lily into Alice's arms as he had scooped up Carly's body.

Remus' screams of horror still resounded in Lily's head now. The look on his face when he had seen Gideon emerge holding Carly. How his legs had given way and Sirius had held him as he cried there on the floor as though the world had ended, which for him it had. Lily had then been sent to the hospital where she had been checked out before being allowed to look at the healers.

From walking around the hospital they had a number badly injured but she could tell only two had been killed. She had chosen to be the one to go to Libby and tell her. She had sat in the living room while Kimmy rolled around on the floor with Sammie. Libby's scream had been almost as horrifying as Remus'. Lily had held her allowing her to cry into her shoulder. Then as she grew silent Lily had taken her hand and whispered Eddie's last words to her.

After that she had gone back to the ministry where Crouch, full of heart that guy, had announced she was now in charge since the bloke in charge had gone and gotten himself killed. That sent Lily off on another fit of tears and caused James to almost swing for the man.

Now five days later Lily found a piece of black ribbon and pulled it around her hair tying it up into a high ponytail. She felt at a lost stood there in her bedroom looking at herself in the mirror. Eddie was like a brother to her and now he was gone. James' movement drew her attention. Turning he was stood in the doorway.

"We better head to the church darling."

She nodded silently taking his hand. He led her down the stairs where Sirius along with Gideon and Fabian were waiting for them. Gideon had taken Sammie earlier and left her with his sister since it wouldn't be the right place for her. James wrapped his arm around Lily as they got ready to leave. Out of mutual consent Peter had agreed to miss the funeral and stay with Remus who was refusing to leave the house since the day.

The church when they arrived was filled with people. Many healers from the hospital had turned up along with the ones who worked with him in the ministry. Also bringing the numbers up were the mass of Aurors who had nothing but respect for the man and wanted to show their gratitude for the work he had done.

Somewhat surprising was the number of Quidditch players that had arrived. The entire England team, Scottish and Welsh were there. Also the members of the individual clubs who didn't make up the teams. It had almost escaped Lily's mind that as well as being a healer for the ministry and hospital he had long been the one to attend the Quidditch games and ensure the players were well.

James directed Lily into a pew just in front of Charlton, Stephanie and Martha. She shared a look with them noting that they like her seemed to have blotchy eyes. She knew that somewhere the entire ministry healers were seated, since she had given them all the day off. But she didn't want to look. Instead she kept her gaze forward and her hand tightly in James'.

Several moments passed in quite mummers and then the organ sounded. Everyone got to their feet and Lily held tighter onto James. Sirius, who was stood her other side, took her other hand gently and she turned and nodded at him. Gideon and Fabian who were the other side of him looked at her gently as they turned to look at the door and the coffin.

As they drew closer Lily watched as the four healers, Tobias, Ryan, Trevor and Kenneth walked in time to the beat. They carried Eddie's coffin evenly above their shoulders. Small sobs sounded from behind them and Lily knew that Charlton had wrapped his arms around Martha and Stephanie although one of them was in plaster.

Her gaze went forward as the four men lowered the coffin onto its stand and went to their seats. Libby moved into the front pew, her mother's arm around her while Eddie's father carried Kimmy. Nobody should have to bury their own child, it was unnatural and looking at Eddie's father her heart gave a pang.

The vicar spoke softly of Eddie's kindness. Of how he was a giver and had spent his life trying to help those that needed him. It felt like an eternity sat in that pew. Then the vicar called her name and Lily slowly stood and made her way forward. Her eyes travelled the long coffin and she couldn't help but wonder what great things Eddie could have done if allowed to live.

"Where to start with Eddie. He will be missed that much is sure. He was more than a boss and anybody who worked within the Auror department in the ministry knows that. They say high positions lead you to be lonely but that wasn't Eddie. He treated each member of the department with care and respect and won even the toughest of people over."

"I remember the first time I actually met him. I was going through a tough time straight out from Hogwarts. He was assigned as my healer, he was to train me. I never thought that I was being introduced to a man that would become one of my closest and best friends. He made me laugh, made me feel welcome. He was the best"

"Oh and the Quidditch games. You know I was never a fan until I met Eddie, and Lyn made the Harpies. Between them it was Quidditch this, and Quidditch that. He really loved the game and was determined to make it as safe as possible. I could spend hours telling you of the fun and games we had watching from the sidelines but it would still only scratch the surface."

"I guess the truth is that we've lost something special now that Eddie is gone. There are not many people that can both be in charge of a difficult department and yet be light-hearted and full of laughter at the same time. We've lost someone who had the ability to make the world seem a lighter place. I can only imagine the good that Eddie could have brought if tragedy hadn't stuck. But at least there is comfort in knowing that he went out the way he lived his life. He went out trying to make a difference and trying to help. You keep making a difference Eddie wherever you are. Don't stop yet."

Lily headed back to her seat wondering if she had said the right things. Libby got up but she couldn't look at her. The words of love and kindness made her cry. Then they were all standing again as the healers once more took the coffin and carried it to the burial spot. As the coffin was lowered down Lily cried into James shoulder. She had lost yet another person and this war was still not over.


	87. Eighty Seven

Chapter 87

Charlton's arm wrapped around Lily's shoulder as they all stood up. The footfalls of four men walking in pace echoed through the silence. Lily had to avert her eyes she couldn't bring herself to look at the coffin. She heard the sound of the coffin being placed on its stand and looked slowly up to see James, Sirius, Gideon and Fabian walking to a pew where Peter had ushered Remus into.

The vicar made his speech and asked for them to stand in turn. Lily's legs were trembling as it went on. She felt sick as everyone turned their attention on her. She couldn't remember how to stand. Charlton gave her a little push and she found her feet staggering up to the front.

Why was it always her at these things? She had to have already given enough funeral speeches for a life time. Yet here she was again. But this time it was different, this time she was being Eddie. Even thinking that sounded strange to her but it was true. She was being forced to give the speech as the boss of the deceased. But that just made her feel worse, this was Carly her friend, the woman she had watched die.

"Thank you. Carly Foster was a wonderful healer. I remember when she first started training there were times I think when she questioned herself in those early days. But she had a knack for it, a skill that so many want but few actually have. She brought something unique with her to the workplace and it wasn't just her home made lunches. Her sarcastic wit always seemed to relieve the tension just when we needed it."

"But Carly was more than just a great healer. She was an amazing person all round. When we go into our jobs we expect to find people we get along with but sometimes if we're really lucky we meet friends for life, and that's what Carly was for me. When I needed her she was there letting me into her world."

Lily looked over to the pew and saw Remus sat with who she guessed were Carly's parents and sister. She took a slow breath wondering if she was really right to mention the next part, but she felt she had to.

"On the day of the attack I was with Carly. In those final moments her true nature shone through. She knew what was coming and faced it with dignity and bravery which left me feeling ashamed of my own behaviour. She not once complained about what was happening but worried about her friends and loved ones still fighting. She gave me a message too that she wished for her family and of course Remus to hear. That message was of love, of caring and of thanks. Carly truly was a remarkable woman and now with her gone the world is a little darker."

Lily looked back at the vicar before walking to the pew where Charlton was still sat with the rest of the healing department. As well as them there were also a number of Aurors sat around along with the healers from the hospital. Then also in one little huggle in the back of the church the Order members who were there as a mark of respect for Remus, for the woman he had lost.

As she sat back in the pew she noted that Remus had made his way to the front. She felt a flutter of sympathy take over. She remembered the feeling of loss that he must be going through. The feeling that the world had ended and there would be no getting better. But she wanted to hug him and tell him he'd be alright. That his future was still ahead of him, fate hadn't finished weaving his web yet.

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. She could see his eyes close and then he took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and went to speak again, but still no words were coming out. He looked like a rabbit in headlights to her. Finally tears brimming in his eyes he managed one tiny sentence.

"I love you Carly."

Then he ran, ran like the devil was chasing him. His feet pounded on the steps as he raced for the door. James had stood in the pew and slowly followed after him. Lily could see Sirius and Peter looking between each other and then silently they too stood and followed the other two out.

Lily was considering if she should too follow them but something told her this was Marauder business. She may have been through what Remus was going through but it was his friends that he needed more. Just like the good old days in Hogwarts.

The vicar carried on speaking and then looked around. It was clear that it was time to go to the gravesite but with James and Sirius having left they were two carriers short. Fabian and Gideon stood walking to the front. Then movement besides Lily made her stand. Tobias and Ryan pushed their way out of the pew and headed forward. They along with the other two men picked the coffin up and headed outside.

They made their way through the headstones to where Carly was going to be laid. As the coffin was lowered in she looked around. There was no sign of Remus or the other three. Maybe they had already headed back to Godric's Hollow where the wake would be taking place.

Gideon stood beside Lily and she rested her head against his chest as they all said their final goodbyes. Then slowly they began to make their way out. Lily with Gideon beside her apparated back to her house. The door was locked which she thought strange if the boys were already there. She opened the door and headed inside. Quickly she took all foil off the food and waited for the others to arrive.

The house was full to bursting point when she spotted Sirius walking in. With a lot of hard work she managed to push her way over to him. She noticed then that Peter and James were following him in. But there was no sign of Remus.

"Isn't Remus with the three of you?"

Sirius' eyes went wide as he looked around the packed room.

"You mean he isn't already here Lily?"

"No."

The four of them shared looks. Nobody wanted to say it but it seemed that they had just lost Remus. Things were beginning to look bad.


	88. Eighty Eight

Chapter 88

As July slipped away the worry seemed to grow. Nobody had heard from Remus in two weeks. Lily picked up her tea and took a sip. The silence surrounding the room was terrifying as she put the drink back down.

The tiniest sound of laugher from the opposite room sparked the attention of the four friends some what. James took Lily's hand comfortingly as he turned to look at Sirius.

"It isn't as bad as all that, come on."

"It's been two weeks James!"

"Yes but in the scale of things it isn't that long."

Sirius didn't respond this time as he sat back into the sofa. Peter picking up a biscuit looked closely at James.

"In the scale of it maybe it isn't a big deal. But do you remember what tonight is."

Nobody said a word as they looked out the window. The sun had already begun its decent and in another hour or so it would be dark. A shiver tingled down Lily's back thinking of the full moon that would be out later. No maybe two weeks wasn't that long for Remus to be missing but a full moon on his own could be trouble.

What if he hadn't found somewhere he could hide away? What if he was out in the open where there were children? What if he bit someone that night? Remus would never forgive himself for that.

"This is madness. Surely there must be a way of tracking him down?"

"You any good at divination Lily? I'm sure there's a dirty sock of his back at the house. You can hold it and close your eyes to see where he is."

"You don't need to be so mean Sirius! I only meant that …"

Her words faded as she shrugged her shoulders. What had she meant? There was no way whatsoever of finding him until he was ready to be found. James slipped his arm around Lily's shoulder as he put his cup down on the table.

"Just give him time guy's okay. Remus has just lost the woman he loves and none of us knows what that feels like."

Lily cleared her throat loudly and they all turned to her.

"You alright darling?"

"Umm I know what its like. I mean what was Larry a piece of cheese?"

"I like cheese."

Three sets of eyes turned to look at Peter. He blushed red picking up his cup and inspecting it closely. James though looked harder at Lily.

"Of course you know honey, but it was a little different for you."

"Yeah it was the night before my wedding!"

"Well yes, but also you're not a werewolf. Carly is really the first woman that Remus has allowed himself to get close to. So it's almost like losing your first love for him. Plus he hasn't got a piece of her left like you have of Larry."

That was true. Lily had been pregnant and that had made things both tougher and easier. It was harder knowing that he wasn't going to be there but easier knowing that part of him lived on. She nodded gently at James in response. Sirius though spoke gently.

"Still he shouldn't have run off like that. We're here to help him and I can be sensitive when I need to be."

James laughed softly.

"That might be Sirius but the truth is that I'd have done the same. He needs to have some time on his own to get to grips with all this. You watch he'll turn up in a few days and just get on with things the way he always has."

James sounded so confident that it was hard not to believe him. Yet looking at Sirius Lily couldn't help but notice a little bit of doubt there. Whatever happened she just hoped that Remus would be alright.


	89. Eighty Nine

Chapter 89

"And Charles has the ball for England he aims to take the shot and…"

The whistle shot through the screaming crowd. Lily looked sideways at James but he was shrugging. The announcer seemed to be stump as well as he muttered nonsense to himself and then suddenly his voice was clear.

"I don't believe it Gavino has captured the snitch for Italy. The game is over!"

Cheers resounded from the Italian supporters as the English fell silent. Lily couldn't believe it. After everything they had gotten to the finals and lost. Although thinking about it the fact they gotten there at all was a miracle considering that their team had been killed off a little over seventeen months ago.

Yes they'd had a good run really all things considered. They had only been able to keep one of their original players for the game and that had been Sirius. He was of course suppose to have played alongside Lyn but Gideon had been a good replacement for her. Then the three chasers they had finally found were Crystal Brown from the bats, Vinnie Charles from the Cannons and the falcons Ronnie Sherwood.

Lily couldn't help but laugh silently to herself thinking of the chasers. During their friendly against Canada just before the quarter finals they had been thrashed. The three just couldn't seem to function as a team, although the threats apparently given by their coach had in the end spurred them on. In fact he had spurred them on so well that when they had met France in the quarter final they had looked like completely new players.

Of course it was a big surprise when they had beaten France. Sandy Weatherby from the Harpies had done a great job at keeping out goals during the game but Joan-Luke was the best chaser around and had gotten heaps passed her. But then Dean Humphrey's of the Tornados had come from nowhere to snatch the snitch from in front of Noelle and had won the game.

Oh the party after that had been tremendous. Lily couldn't honestly remember much of it but apparently she and Gideon had started a sing-along night which finished with a massive conga line through the door and back down to the stadium. It had even made the front page of the prophet the following day, under the title England celebrates!

Then of course they had had to play the semi-final. Well that had been a completely different game. After all Brazil was one of the best teams in the world when it came to Quidditch. But they had slugged it out, for eight whole hours! England had of course come out on top, although they had only been separated by ten points.

The party that had followed that, well again Lily couldn't remember it. It wasn't her fault though. Gideon had spiked her drink. He had complained loudly that his drinking buddy had fallen behind and he would get her caught up. Well that he did. And again the next day she found herself on the front page of the prophet, in a lake!

But this game had been the most unbelievable. Lily hadn't left the stands for almost two days. They had expected it to be a long game since both teams had the same strengths but two whole days.

"Think we should go find Sirius?"

Peter stood up stretching. Lily laughed gently as he rubbed at his head before heading for the stairs. Lily followed behind him with James, Fabian and Frank. The Weasleys had been there but after the first day they had left and hadn't turned back up. Lily couldn't blame them the boys were too young to sit through the full game of that length.

The five of them stopped just outside the locker area and waited. They could hear running water and Lily wished that she could have a shower. Pointing her wand she cast a cleaning spell on herself, but she still didn't feel as clean as after a shower.

It took only twenty minutes for the doors to open and the English side were out. There was an air of defeat surrounding them that was until the fifth round back in the pub. Lily clinked glasses with Gideon as the Italian side finally made an appearance.

The trophy was placed on the table and Lily went over to look at it. She could see her reflection perfectly in it.

"It is how you say bello."

Lily looked at the man stood next to her. He had black hair flowing down to his shoulders and dark brown eyes that swam with life. She scrunched her nose a little and he looked over his shoulder and called out to another man.

"Che cosa è l'inglese per bello?"

"Beautiful."

"It is beautiful."

Lily grinned and looked again at the trophy.

"It is very beautiful."

The man smiled and she noticed that his teeth were perfectly white and straight.

"I am Gavino. I play seeker."

"I'm Lily; I'm a friend of the two English beaters."

"Ah you know Sirius."

"Yes unfortunately I do."

"He is molto ahh… divertente… funny!"

"That he is."

"He did not tell me that he had such beautiful friend."

"That's because Gavino this one is taken."

They both turned to see Sirius standing there champaign in hand.

"Lily Gavino here has just signed to be the new seeker for Puddlemere. No way are we losing this year."

She laughed and Gavino looked at Sirius.

"She is your umm… amico di ragazza?"

"Sorry Gavino my Italian is not very good."

"Girl friend! Lily is your girlfriend."

Lily couldn't help but spit her drink back into the glass as she began to chock on it. Sirius though smiled and moved to put his arm around her waist.

"She wanted me bad Gavino I won't lie. There have been times when she begged me to date her. But I had to turn her down, so she married my best friend instead."

"Ah married, well then I shall not try."

He grinned at Lily again and moved away. Lily mouth open pushed Sirius' arm off her.

"I begged you to date me?"

"Well okay it wasn't so much a date as sex but…"

"I've never asked you for sex."

"What about the day I was fixing your sink?"

He looked at her innocently as a blush came to her cheeks. She was saved from answering though as James' lips touched her cheek. With a final look at Sirius she turned to join James at the bar.


	90. Ninety

Chapter 90

The heat of the August sun soon died away and the crispy winds that signal the start of autumn appeared. Lily was sat at the main desk in the healers section of the Auror department. Her head was throbbing as she pulled roughly at the strands of her falling hair. She just couldn't do it.

"This is impossible!"

Charlton looked up from the list of healers applying for positions. He had agreed so kindly to help Lily out in her numerous new tasks. She had to admit that she was finding it difficult being solely in charge of the department. Alright she had taken charge before but that had always been with the knowledge that Eddie would sort out her mistakes. Two months on from his death and she was beginning to realise there was no-one to clean up her messes anymore.

"What's impossible Lily?"

"This rota. I can't get it too work."

"Why not?"

"Because I need to have somebody I can trust in at all times, and that's impossible. There are only so many shifts I can make you work, and I'm already working six days a week."

"ME! Why me?"

"Oh didn't I tell you, you're my second. Crouch has officially given you my old job. So whenever I'm not around you're in charge."

"Great. Is there by any chance a pay rise?"

She grinned nodding at him. He made his way over from his desk and looked over Lily's shoulder. He had recently dyed his hair a midnight black and it fell loosely into the view of his eyes.

"Trevor and Kenneth could do some of those hours. I mean they've both worked in this department for three years, they can be trusted. Plus they won't take any rubbish from Roger."

"Excellent, I knew there was a reason I had you promoted."

He laughed lightly as he placed a form in front of her.

"What do you think of this then?"

The form held the name Cassius Weir and listed top NEWT level grades, plus a high achievement grade in healer training. Biting her lip Lily scrunched up her nose a little.

"Sounds like someone we could use."

"That's what I thought."

"Any applicants from well established healers?"

"Of course not. All scared to do our job aren't they. Don't want to end up dead or sent back to the hospital as failures."

Lily couldn't help but grin slightly as she stamped the form of acceptance. As she turned to say something else to Charlton she was distracted by James' entrance.

"Lily can I have a word?"

"Can't it wait?"

He shook his head so with an apologetic gaze at Charlton she followed James out.

"What is it?"

"Moody."

Lily walked with her husband over to where Moody was stood with Fabian, Frank and Alice. It was clear to her that they were being crafty and sneaky about something. But what she was unsure. Moody nodded as they joined him and looked around.

"Right you five follow me."

"What? Where are we going?"

"Scotland."

"I can't go to Scotland. Charlton is there on his own since we sent Rodger to Land's End with that Francesca what's-her-face. And I bet there're having ice-cream and not working. I've seen the way she looks at him; she didn't want him to go with her to fight Death Eaters that's for sure."

"Potter keep your wife under control and follow me."

Moody had already started to walk away and Lily had no choice but to follow him. When they got into the lift and headed down he spoke again.

"There's another attack happening up in Troon. They're after Dio; he's one of the lower classed Death Eaters. Been working with Dumbledore for a couple of weeks now. He just gave us word that someone from our side has become a Death Eater. Seems that he's also been found out though."

"Any other ministry officials coming with us sir?"

"No Prewett, just Order members. Dumbledore wants this kept out of the official records."

The grates opened and they stepped out. Lily swallowed nervously as they made their way to the apparition point. She hadn't been involved in a battle since Brighton and the knots in her stomach made her wonder if she was ready for this one.

Spells whizzed through the air at tremendous speeds leaving Lily feeling dizzy. She knew better than to try and follow them with her eyes but on occasions she couldn't prevent herself. Something yellow hit her shoulder and the worst itch she had ever felt exploded onto her skin.

But she didn't care as she tried to go forward. She pushed her way through the rubble of the building following the voice of the young man. She knew the others had her back covered so she felt secure.

A scream from Sirius caused her to look back. He fell hard onto the rubble smashing his head on a brick. His assailant looked straight at her and through the mask of the Death Eaters she picked out the exact same eyes as Sirius'. This had to be Regulus.

An explosion sounded to their right and the younger brother turned and looked. With a glance back at her he twirled on the spot and left only air there. With her mind in two Lily turned away from Sirius to look back at the rubble. The faint voice was getting quieter with each passing second. She had no choice.

"HELP! HELP!"

She aimed her wand at the sky and sent up red sparks as she crawled further and further down into the pit. Squeezing through the smallest of holes she saw a mass of blonde curls.

"Dio is that you?"

"Depends who's asking."

"The Queen of bloody England. Who do you think?"

"You're one of Dumbledore's aren't you?"

"Yes I'm Lily Potter."

"Potter. You'll be one of the ones that the Dark Lord wants dead then. You should take care."

"Dio forget about that and let me get you out."

"You can't. My leg is caught and there's blood everywhere. I'm dead I am."

"The dead don't talk."

"You never seen a ghost then."

She sighed trying to push herself in further.

"I'm a healer let me help you."

"No I'm dead. Listen go to Dumbledore and tell him to beware of Luka."

"Who?"

"Dumbledore will understand. He's the threat."

Loose bricks began to split and dust floated down between them.

"Lily Potter get out of here."

"Not without you."

"I'm dead I tell you. Go. I'm not important anymore; Voldemort will kill me even if you get me out of here now. But Dumbledore needs that information. Save yourself and pass on the information. If you don't more will die."

She was torn between the want to escape and the knowledge that she could help him. His eyes were pleading with her as more rubble began to fall. A thick mist of dust shot up into the air and she coughed trying not to take it in.

Then a hand touched her leg and she screamed. As she was tugged backwards her yells became louder. She had to stop this; it could be a Death Eater. As she was pulled further backwards she grabbed at a stone. Then as she was clear she swung at the person pulling her and struck with their skull. As the person fell to the ground she couldn't help but groan.

"What's happened?"

Lily looked up as Frank came hurrying over. He stopped and looked down at the man unconscious at her feet.

"He fell and banged his head."

Frank just raised an eyebrow questionably at her as he lifted James up from the rubble. A bang sounded below and they ran to get off the remains of the building. A pile of dust shot into the air and from the other side of the mound came the sign of the Dark Mark.

Lily stood next to Frank and they shared a look, as around them ten other Order members appeared. In silence they each left to head back to their jobs, or in the case of Sirius and James, the hospital. Yet another one of their members had been taken, it truly wasn't safe to be a member of the Order.


	91. Ninety One

Chapter 91

It was three days after the attack that the earliest meeting of the Order could be arranged. Hogwarts was unsafe as a location to hold the meeting what with the students back. So at seven o'clock on the evening of September tenth the group met at a secure location.

Lily still felt very guilty about hitting James with a brick. When he had come too he just looked at her suspiciously. She hadn't known what to say but the grin that had come to his face seconds later had relieved her. He was taking it as he did everything, in his stride.

As they sat in the middle of the long table he took her hand and wiggled her fingers absentmindedly. He didn't say anything to her though as he continued on his conversation with Sirius and Peter who were sat next to him. Lily though was making faces with Gideon over the table. Fabian next to him was deep in conversation with Alice and Frank.

Looking around there were faces of people that she recognised from other meetings. Edgar Bones was sat soundlessly next to Dedalus Diggle who was laughing at something Emmeline Vance had said. Then there was a group of about six people that Lily couldn't name next to them messing around in a young way that betrayed them as fresh graduates of Hogwarts.

On Lily's right side sat Sturgis Podmore with Elphias Doge. They were both in silence as well. It struck Lily really how those that had been involved with the Order for a vast amount of time seemed to be more sombre. Maybe it was just the fact that they unlike the new recruits had seen real terror.

"Mama up."

Sammie was also at the meeting. She had been put on the floor with a load of toys but it seemed that she wanted to be noisy and see everyone. Lily carefully lifted the girl onto her lap and tried to hold her still.

It was at this point that finally Albus Dumbledore entered with Alastor Moody and they took the remaining two seats towards the top of the table. Moody found himself next Alice, while Dumbledore sat at the head between Peter and Moody.

"Thank you for all giving up your Saturday night plans to be here tonight. We have some serious matters to discuss. The first of which is the attack in Troon on Wednesday. Now for those of you that were unaware a spy of mine was killed in the attack. So let's take a moment please."

They all looked down to their laps out of respect for a fallen associate. Lily wondered if anybody at the table even knew who he had been. She had seen his face looked into his brown eyes. He had been barely nineteen and already dead. Life wasn't fair.

Before the silence should have ended a loud bang sounded through the room causing everyone to look up. Sammie laughed as she whacked the table again louder.

"Bang bang."

"Sammie stop it."

"No."

"Sammie."

"Bang, bang, bang."

Dumbledore laughed softly.

"Quite the little troublemaker seems her father may be wearing off on her."

"Troublemaker? Me? Never professor you must have me confused with some other guy."

James winked at the professor as he chucked Sammie under the chin.

"Dada."

Her arms went wide and she grabbed hold of James. Lily let her go as Dumbledore began to speak.

"So starting with what happened on Wednesday. It seems that the Death Eaters got wind of a traitor amongst their mists and sought him out to teach him a lesson. Now this is most unfortunate for us since the man had some vital information that I needed. But I'm afraid unless someone can contradict me that has been lost."

"Umm Albus..."

The man's blue eyes turned to Lily and she bite her lip gently. She could feel everyone else looking at her as she gave him a look. Their eyes connected and she could feel him within her mind. She pushed forward the name and then the old man blinked and looked away.

"Thank you Lily."

James shot her a look but she silenced him with a squeeze of her hand.

"Us."

Everyone turned to look at Sammie as she pulled on Sirius' clothes. The man went bright eyed looking at James and Lily.

"Did you hear that? She can say my name!"

"Didn't sound like Sirius to me!"

"Us."

Sirius shot Gideon a gloating look as he took the little girl onto his lap.

"Who's a clever girl then."

Lily watched silently as Sammie wiped her nose in Sirius' shirt before bouncing on his lap giggling.

"Yep you certainly take after your dada."

The girl laughed bouncing some more. Albus though cleared his throat getting everyone's attention.

"Still talking about Wednesday I have been assured that the ministry know nothing of our presence before the Dark Mark appeared and that they have identified the body and returned it to his family. Now onto other business."

Lily listened as Dumbledore introduced all the new recruits to them before opening the floor. Edgar Bones raised a point about safety and how he had been approached by Death Eaters recently who had threatened his family if he didn't join them. From there Sturgis Podmore raised a question about a possible Death Eater among a group of seventh years in Hogwarts. Apparently his source had mentioned one.

After everyone had spoken and were getting ready to leave Dumbledore raised one more point.

"Has anybody heard anything from Remus yet?"

Everyone remained silent and he took that as his answer. Slowly people got to their feet and left. It wasn't long until Lily was sat on the sofa in her living room with James and Sirius. Sammie was sprawled out on the rug playing with her doll.

"Do you think its time to worry yet James?"

Sirius was shooting James a look which told Lily that he had been worrying for a long time. James though didn't answer just looked at Sammie.

"He'll be back soon you watch. I bet he's slowly coming to terms with Carly being gone. Plus he'll be back before Christmas. After all he won't want to be alone on the day he's suppose to be getting married."

Something stirred inside Lily and she felt her eyes widen.

"He is though."

"Pardon."

She looked at James and then at Sirius.

"When I bought my wedding dress Carly told me they'd brought the wedding forward. They were going to marry on the tenth of September."

The three friends stared at each other as a new wave of panic took over.


	92. Ninety Two

This chapter is for the lovely Karen. I promised you some James smut and here it is. A double helping. Enjoy

Chapter 92

September vanished quicker than most of the Order could think possible. Attacks were occurring up and down the country at such a quick pace. Students at Hogwarts were afraid being in school that they would never see their families alive again.

But as autumn wore on October made its appearance. Unfortunately it was just as terrible as September had been. Three nineteen year olds from the Order were killed on a night out in London. Then an older couple in their sixties who had been spying on their Death Eater neighbours for Dumbledore were killed.

The members of the Order were panicked. The attacks had no sense and nobody knew if it would be their doorstep that the Death Eaters would appear on next. That was why James had spent four days appealing to Lily's better judgement that a Halloween party was just what they all needed.

Lily wasn't convinced that it was the right thing though. A large group together like that could draw attention. What if the Death Eaters turned up? Sirius' answer of we'll get extra fire whisky just in case hadn't put her at ease. Yet in the end she gave in. Something was nagging at her and she felt the need to have one day where she could let her hair down.

As the organisation took form she set about inviting people. They were being 'selective' with their invitations. She had invited her healers; Charlton was coming along with Kenneth and Roger. Trevor had agreed and was dragging Stephanie and Martha along with him. Then young T.J, Tobias and Ryan too had agreed to join them. She had also invited Charlotte and Steve but somebody had to be in the ministry in case of an attack!

While she had invited the healers James had called upon the Aurors to attend. They of course had Fabian, Frank and Alice coming. Moody too had agreed to 'let his hair down' for the night. Then that Francesca what's-her-face had jumped at the prospect of a party if Roger was going to be there. He'd also convinced someone named Paul, a Doug and Lee to come join them too. Lily had just smiled and nodded wondering how full it would get.

Then Sirius too had decided that he needed to get people involved. He'd invited the players from the England team to turn up with their partners as well as the Puddlemere team, which would include the new recruit Gavino. Oh and then she couldn't forget the Order members that had been invited either, Dedalus Diggle, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore, Elphias Doge, Edgar Bones and of course Gideon and that Dung fellow.

By the morning of the thirty-first Lily was struck with the realisation that the house was going to be crammed full of Quidditch players, Healers, Aurors and the secret resistance to Voldemort. They were going to wreck the joint. That morning before Peter was due to arrive to help her prepare food for the evening she visited Libby to see how she was doing.

Although three months nearly four really had passed since that tragic day Libby wasn't coping very well. She had sold the house that she and Eddie had lived in and moved into a smaller one close to her parents. She had claimed she couldn't live there anymore, she kept expecting Eddie to come waltzing in. She understood that feeling; it was the same one she got in the ministry offices.

Lily had tried to convince the woman that a good Halloween party was just what she needed. She'd even gone into a mini lecture about how Eddie would love her to go to the party, since he was a big kid at heart and loved Halloween. But Libby's eyes had suddenly swollen at the thought and tears ran down her cheeks. Lily didn't expect to see her there that night.

There was also going to be another person missing. Remus. He still hadn't been seen since the funeral. Lily was now extremely worried. At first she had thought like James but now… well bad things were happening. People would disappear on a daily basis and never be seen again. Lily was just hoping that that fate hadn't been reserved for Remus.

But the worry really couldn't last as Peter arrived and they began to cook. James had bought a vast pile of sweets from Honeydukes and they were placed in plastic bowls that were going to be spread throughout the downstairs rooms. But she and Peter were preparing other food items.

By the end of the afternoon they had a dozen pumpkin pies baked, toffee apples, sandwiches shaped like cauldrons, biscuits that looked like broomsticks and her favourite grapes soaked in coloured water to look like eyeballs.

She grinned at Peter as he helped her put up decorations and then he left to find something to wear. James had only informed her that morning that he and Sirius had decided to make it a fancy dress evening. Apparently all their guests had been told, except for her.

James arrived back from work at six o'clock with an hour to spare before their guests arrived. But as soon as he walked in Lily could tell something had happened. His face was pale and she knew that the firmness of his chin meant somebody had been killed.

"James what's happened."

"There was a Death Eater attack this morning. Time we got to the location it was too late."

"Anybody we know?"

"Edgar Bones and his entire family."

Lily's eyes widened as she remembered a conversation from one of the meetings only a month earlier. He'd been worried for his safety back then.

"He was a good man Lily. Good men shouldn't be killed."

"And bad men shouldn't be allowed to gain power. But James it's the way of the world. When's the funeral going to be?"

"His sisters are arranging it. Probably in the next week. I'll find out."

Nothing more was said as he went upstairs to change his clothes. Lily just shook her head dropping into a seat.

At seven o'clock the guests started to arrive. Lily circled the room smiling at everyone. She raised a number of eyebrows by her choice of custom. She had found a blue checked dress and divided her hair into bunches posing as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. But of course since most of her friends were from wizarding backgrounds they didn't know who she was.

She had laughed at James lack of effort at his own choice. He was wearing Sirius' Quidditch robes and acting well just like Sirius. While the Quidditch star was some kind of zombie and Peter was dressed up as Stubby Boardman from the Hobgoblins.

Lily managed to stop long enough to speak to Trevor who was dressed like a vampire but apart from that she didn't speak to any of her friends. Sammie was upstairs screaming. She'd caught chickenpox and had to be kept away from everyone. Lily opened her bedroom to find her stomping around in a mood.

"Out."

"No Sammie bed."

"No out!"

Lily picked up her daughter and tucked her back into bed.

"It's time that little girls were asleep Sammie."

The girl closed one of her eyes in a manner that told Lily that her daughter wasn't at all happy. It was the same look Sirius got when he wasn't winning chess.

"Good night Sammie."

The girl pouted as Lily closed the door behind her. Shaking her head she walked down the stairs in time to hear the doorbell. Surprised that anybody had bothered to ring it she opened the door and her mouth dropped.

"Remus?"

The man looked up at her. His clothes were little more than rags and he looked pale and tired. She wrapped her arms around him and he staggered into the house. She carefully directed him into the living room and dropped him onto the sofa.

Nobody was paying attention to her since Remus looked like he was in his custom of a beggar. So leaving him sitting there she ran into the kitchen and filled a plate with food. When she returned he looked ready to sleep.

"Here eat these."

"I'm not hungry."

"You're skin and bones. Eat."

He forced the smallest of smiles onto his face and nodded. As the party went on around her all she heard was the smallest munches that Remus was making. He took the pumpkin juice she had brought without protest. When he was done she could see him yawn.

"You should go up to the spare room and sleep."

"No I just want to go home. But I haven't got my key."

"Wait here."

Running out into the garden she could see a group of men bobbing for apples. Gideon had his face in the bucket as she approached and lifting his head she saw him grin through an apple.

"Lily you want to try?"

"No thanks Sirius. But do you have your house key?"

"Yeah why? You going to leave James and move in with me!"

"Shut up Padfoot."

"Prongs can I help it if your wife thinks I'm sexy."

The two grinned and continued their banter but Peter was looking at her closely.

"What's happened Lily?"

"Remus is here."

The three Marauders each shared a look before running into the house. Lily followed and watched as they pulled Remus to his feet. Around them people stopped to watch. The Order members mumbled silently to themselves, they seemed to be the only ones to know about the disappearance.

Lily watched as soundlessly Sirius and Peter took hold of Remus and headed home. One look at James' face showed how relieved he was. Suddenly the party seemed to be over as others followed behind the three men.

It wasn't long before Lily and James were left alone. His arm snaked around her as he kissed her forehead.

"The worse is over Lily. Remus is back."

"Yeah, our family is whole again."

He laughed gruffly as he kissed her again. The mess of the house lay forgotten as they headed up to bed. Lily walked into her bedroom silently as James moved to check on Sammie. It was like a worked routine they had picked up along the way. She could hear him close the door to their daughter's bedroom as she pulled the dress off.

A low whistle caused her to turn. James was grinning and she could hazard a guess why. He strutted across the room and slung his arm around her waist dragging her to him. His lips roughly pushed against hers and she loved it. She traced his spine with her finger as the kiss deepened. He shuddered and she grinned into his mouth.

Then she was flung backwards onto the bed. James stood above her shrugging off the Quidditch robes. For a moment it reminded her of their first time together. That had been after the championship game in their seventh years. James had just picked up the trophy and while everyone had headed to the common room to celebrate he had dragged her into the changing rooms.

"James wait."

"Huh."

"Keep them on."

"But they're Sirius' Quidditch robes."

"Sirius is sexy."

James made a funny face moving back away from her. His left eye narrowed and he made a soft pout.

"You want me to shag you wearing my best friend's robes so you can pretend that I'm him?"

Lily got up from the bed shaking her head. She moved behind James and pushed him down onto their bed heading to her wardrobe.

"Not exactly James."

He watched silently as she pulled out a demin skirt and a small tight top. He made a protest as she slipped the top on over her red bra.

"I wanted to take your clothes off Lily not have you put more on."

"Wait."

She slipped her legs into the skirt and walked over to him biting her lower lip gently.

"Does this remind you of anything James?"

"You gardening about a month ago, you were wearing that skirt and top and when you bent over Peter got all embarrassed because he could see down it."

She shook her head lowering her left arm to drape around James' shoulders.

"Think back to the last time you played a competitive game of Quidditch James."

"But that was in Hogwarts the day we won the … Oh!"

His face changed into a smile as he took her in using a new light.

"You were bloody gorgeous that day Lily. In that tight little mini skirt that you use to wear and that tight little top. I wanted to throw you over the table at breakfast but thought that Minerva might have said something."

"Umm and you in those Quidditch robes that you played in wasn't bad to look at either."

James stood up suddenly taking Lily's arm from around his shoulder and kissed her palm gently. She grinned as he made eye contact and stepped closer. His lips found her neck and he suckled her gently. Her fingers moved to his hair pulling the strands softly.

In a quick motion he had turned them and Lily was lying on the bed. Her legs dangled over the edge as James knelt on the floor. Gently she pulled his head up so that their lips met and she melted into his kiss. Her hands trailed along his body as she felt his nails run up her stomach. He stopped just short of her breasts and felt him chuckle into her mouth.

As they kissed her mind travelled back to that time in their seventh year and how things hadn't really changed for them.

_James closed the door to the changing rooms behind him and with his wand sealed it shut. Lily felt her stomach flutter as he turned and looked at her. She couldn't believe that she hadn't realised how good those Quidditch robes had made him look before. As he stepped closer he lifted her hand and gently kissed the palm._

_Lily couldn't help the small giggle that fled her lips as he stepped closer to her and kissed her neck. She could feel his lips sucking against her skin and it felt heavenly to her. How he had learnt the exact spot where she was most sensitive she could only guess. _

_As his lips continued to kiss that spot she fumbled with his robes. Finally her fingers touched skin and she enjoyed the sensation she caused him as she ran her nails along his spine. Without her noticing his hands had snaked around her waist and he picked her up. To her slight surprise she found herself lying across the bench._

_Slowly James looked up at her and gently she took his face in her hands and brought his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss full of care but Lily changed it quickly. The kiss became rougher full of want and need. She released his face running her hands down his body. Her stomach suddenly fluttered wildly as James' nails ran along it up towards her chest._

_She felt his fingers come to rest on the bottommost material of her bra. Their kiss broke apart and James looked at her. They had never done anything like this in the three months they had been dating. There had been kisses and cuddling but they had always respected each others personal space. That was her guess for why James was kneeling on the floor next to her instead of being on her._

_Very slowly Lily moved her hand so that it rested on top of James' under her top. He respected her, her beliefs. He had never tried to push her. It was clear from his expression that he would love to go further but that it was her choice. She made that choice. Gently she pushed James' hand up so it rested on her breast._

_That was all it took. James was kissing her again and she loved it. His tongue probed her mouth in ways she'd never felt before. They were rough, experimenting new sensations. It took her the briefest of moments to realise that James had pushed his fingers inside of her bra and was gently stroking her breast. His touch sent her over and she wanted to feel him touch more skin. _

_Taking her arms from around his neck she gently pushed herself to a leaning position. James made a protesting sound with his throat but Lily silenced him with her tongue. She fumbled with her hands behind her back for a moment until she felt the release of her bra straps. She could feel the slight surprise that James gave as she slipped her arms from it exposing her breasts fully to his touch._

_He positioned himself slightly differently as she was forced back down. She felt the material of her top being pulled up until it rested on her neck. A small 'wow' slipped from James' mouth before he took her breast into his mouth. She moaned gently as his tongue flicked her nipple gently. His other hand sat on her other breast teasing it softly._

_Slowly James stopped what he was doing and took her mouth with his. She felt exposed to the world now as the cold air hit her. But James' kisses were too wonderful to care. She felt herself jump slightly when she felt his hand on her thigh. She hadn't expected that. He made to break their kiss but Lily held his head fast._

_As his tongue pushed her she felt his fingers connect with the soft material under her skirt. Involuntarily she in took air and she could tell that James wasn't sure if he should continue. As if to answer the unasked question Lily reached down and pulled at the belt of his jeans. He stopped her instantly though as with his spare hand bringing to rest once more on her stomach._

"_James."_

"_Just let me."_

_She didn't know what it was that he wanted her to leave him do but she did. She nodded into his kisses as slowly she felt him try to pull her knickers off. To help him she raised her hips as in a quick movement she was free of them. Again she had to take in breath as his fingers gently rubbed against her. _

_She was surprised by how gentle James was being. But his slow motions were driving her wild. His kisses slowed as gently he pushed his fingers inside of her. She winced only slightly as James kissed her. Then she felt his fingers begin to curl and uncurl. He was slow at first but with each uncurling he got faster. She felt her breath begin to catch as she felt a wave of something new hit her. She moaned deeply into James' kiss as her body shook._

_After a couple of minutes she came back down to earth. James had somehow without her notice extracted his fingers and wore the largest grin she had ever seen. Slowly making sure she was watching he licked his fingers. Lily though didn't notice. Her eyes had gone to a bulge in his jeans._

_In a quick movement she had pushed him onto his back and had unbuckled his belt. This time he made no resistance to it. As she pushed them down she felt his erection for the first time. Like all that had gone before this was new to her. Unsure of herself she lowered her mouth to him and took him in. As she closed her mouth she heard James wince. She pulled up quickly and his eyes were on her._

"_Don't bite so hard Lil."_

_She couldn't speak only nodded as she again took him into her mouth. She moved her head gently as she licked him. Her tongue flickered around him as she lowered her hand to his balls. Gently she squeezed at one. Then stopped. Taking her mouth off his member she moved down and licked his balls. She sucked them as she used her hand. James' breath was becoming shorter and shorter. He was beginning to moan against her. Then his hand was on hers forcing her to stop._

"_But."_

"_Shh…"_

_His lips found hers and she felt all his want and need mixed with her own. She moved pushing him once more onto his back. Slowly she ran her fingers along the inside of his Quidditch robes searching for the hidden pocket. His wand touched her fingers and she brought it to rest on him._

_She muttered some choice words softly and saw James grin. Then with his help she positioned herself over him. Then slowly and gently she began to lower herself onto him. As she pushed him deeper she felt a throb of pain. It must have shown on her face because James stopped her. They waited a moment then Lily pushed a bit harder and through the pain she felt him fully._

_With her hands resting on his firm stomach she gently pushed herself upwards. James was thrusting against her movements and she felt him pound back into her. Gently their speed seemed to increase and she felt herself begin to lose control. James must have been able to tell because he suddenly rolled her._

_Lily once more found herself on her back. James kissed her gently as he once more took on the rhythm they had started. With each thrust they seemed to gain speed and both were becoming ragged. They were fighting for breath. Then James pulled out slightly before thrusting hard. Lily felt him hit something and her consciousness slipped. She heard her voice call something out as a wave of pure bliss over run her. When finally she had regained control she found James lying on top of her. He was panting but there was a look in his eyes. Gently Lily reached up and kissed him_

Lily screamed James' name and felt him slump onto her. She grinned looking up into his face. This was just like old times. It was perfect. She had been intimate with other men but she had learnt something along the way. No other man could give her an orgasm like James. He was truly the best.


	93. Ninety Three

Chapter 93

November seemed slightly better for the small group of friends. The worry was slipping away as they spent evenings sat together whenever they could. Lily put the plates in the sink as she heard the boys start dealing the cards.

She had to admit it was good having Remus back. She'd missed him terribly. She thought that maybe it was strange how things had changed. Once she had thought him an arrogant know all. Really it showed that you never should judge a book by its cover or a person by appearance in this case.

She smiled lightly to herself as she looked out the window. The weather had taken a sharper turn to fit the atmosphere of the wizarding world. It was cold, very cold. Frost littered the air as the strong North wind blew as hard as it could. Even stood inside next to the fire Lily couldn't help but shiver.

The attacks in the wizarding world were calming down slightly now. Maybe it was the Christmas spirit getting to Voldemort. Lily though doubted it very much. She couldn't help but feel that he was up to something. Her insides squirmed with the idea that maybe he was planning yet another attack.

Mind that wasn't the only reason her insides were squirming. She was frightfully worried about something and didn't know who she could talk to about it. First instinct still told her to go and find Eddie; well he wouldn't be able to help in this case. Her heart told her to go to James but she couldn't not yet anyway.

It was clear to her that he was worried about her. She had been very short with him for the last five days, had it really only been five days? Of course James had no idea what the problem was. He was considering it to be stress of work, or possibly the worry of an attack on one of them. The truth was very much different.

Yes the truth. Lily thought about it as she rinsed a plate under the tap. Her truth. The fact of the matter was she was pregnant again. This worried her more than anything in the world. Not so much how James would react to being a dad, he loved Sammie so much. But how would he react towards her?

Things were difficult, and things were bad yes. But she loved her life so much. She enjoyed the Order meetings; she thought going out to spy in pubs with Alice was fantastic. Then there was being in charge of the department she treasured the responsibility knowing that people respected her. Then the fights, there was nothing like the adrenalin rush as you held your wand tight facing an enemy.

What Lily feared was losing all that. James wouldn't want her out in a pub among enemies; he wouldn't want her out in the field fighting. Sure he'd allow her to continue in her job but at an admin level. She'd been there before and couldn't stand doing that again.

There was another problem too mind. He'd wrap her up in cotton wool again. She wasn't fragile and wouldn't break with a small bump. But James would do anything and everything to protect her. A tiny smile came to her features at that. She shouldn't complain because her husband loved her so much. But still…

"Lily we got anymore beers?"

"Do I look like your maid? Use your eyes and go look!"

James looked startled and a little hurt as he went over to their fridge. She could hear him rummaging around for a moment and then he looked up at her.

"Are you alright Lily?"

"I'm fine!"

She had snapped the words towards him. With the tiniest shake of his head he left the room. Lily groaned inwardly as she dropped her head forward onto her chest. Why was she like this? She was suppose to be happy, she was suppose to be wrapped up in James arms telling him that he was about to be a father again.

Yet at the back of her mind she couldn't help but worry that this wasn't quite the good news it was suppose to be. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe this baby would turn out to be a curse rather than a blessing. Lily wasn't a seer but for the briefest of moments she just wished she was. Oh how she wished she was able to know what the out come would be. But then she probably wouldn't have believed it even if she could…


	94. Ninety Four

Chapter 94

Lily dropped onto the floor and closed her eyes. She couldn't look at anybody surrounding her. It made her feel sick. At that thought she could taste the vile substance creeping up her throat. But she refused to let it enter her mouth. She would not let anybody see her weak.

"Lily is everything okay?"

James' hand was in hers pulling her up. She opened her eyes knowing that the smallest of tears would be forming in them.

"How can you ask that? Look around James they've killed them all!"

"That's not what I meant."

"How can everything be okay when I'm looking around at dead children? Look at that one; see she has the same blonde hair as our Sammie. And that little boy over there, he can't be more than three, he's just a baby!"

James wrapped his arms around her but she beat at his chest pulling back. He looked alarmed as he let her go.

"Lily."

"Leave me alone James!"

She turned and sprinted away from him towards the green field at the end of the building. The building, you couldn't call it that any more. Rubble that's all it was now. Looking at it you'd never guess that it had once been a proud school hall that had stood tall since the time of the Victorians.

The muggle population of the town were quickly arriving. It was devastating what had happened. She perched herself on a wall and let the tears that had threatened for so long run down her cheeks. This was what she feared the most. These attacks, what if they didn't stop? How was she suppose to look at small children like that knowing that Sammie was with the Weasleys and that the youngest member of her family was with her?

"Potter."

She looked up to see Crouch stood over her.

"Yes Sir."

"Get back up there and help."

"I can't sir. Everyone is dead."

He stiffened slightly looked around and screamed for somebody named Diller. Lily though just looked ahead at the muggles gathering around the gates. She wondered how many of them had children in the school. Wondered how they would react to the fact their child was dead. It had to be the worse thing in the world losing a child. It went against nature.

From among the faces she saw a tuff of blonde hair falling in waves around an oval face. Blue eyes were brimming with sadness looking up at the ruins. Joined to the face was a neck that was just too long for anybody who wasn't nosy. Lily recognised her sister instantly. The blonde turned to say something to a woman next to her but her mouth just remained open as she spotted Lily.

She shook her head and started to push her way forward.

"YOU! THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Everyone was looking at her now. They stepped aside to let the woman through and Lily just gasped. She was enormous. The slender form of her sister had changed and now a large bulge stuck out in front of her.

"This is because of your lot isn't it?"

Lily just burst out crying and ran towards the group. They all looked startled as she threw her arms around her sister. Petunia just stood there with her sister hanging off her neck. But she didn't try to hug her.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?"

Lily turned to see a man with grey hair in what looked like a weave step forward.

"Hello my name is Mr Diller and I would like to speak with the parents of the children of this school."

Lily took Petunia's hand and led her away from the parents. She didn't know where she was going but she turned around a corner and saw a set of swings in a park. Lowering herself onto one she indicated for Petunia to take the other one.

The sat in silence looking ahead for a moment and then Lily spoke.

"Voldemort killed them all."

The older woman sniffed slightly.

"All of them?"

"Every child who was at that school today is dead."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Fun."

"Fun! How can this be fun?"

"He's mad Petunia. He's really mad."

Tears flew from her eyes again as silence enveloped them.

"Did you see any of them Lily?"

The red head sniffed and nodded looking straight at her sister.

"There was a girl who had the same colour hair as Sammie, and a boy who was so small, he couldn't have been more than three. It was terrible Pet, I … I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"See what the Death Eaters do anymore. Do you remember my friend Eddie; he was killed in July along with my friend Carly. I watched them both die because they were doing the right thing. I can't do it anymore."

Silence engulfed them again. Lily began to swing back and forth a little. After a few moments Petunia spoke up.

"It's a boy."

Lily smiled slightly as a soft breeze played with her hair.

"What are you going to call him?"

"Dudley."

"I like it."

"So do I."

"When are you due?"

"Around about May."

Silence floated between them again.

"Sammie's getting bigger, she's started talking."

"Really."

"Yes, she loves shouting no at me. Calls James dada all the time and me mama. And then she's also started calling Sirius us and Gideon on. We think she's trying to say Peter now she keeps saying pah all the time."

Petunia laughed gently.

"Sounds like she's going to be a little tyke."

"Oh she is. She's also got; you know what, running through her. She turned James hair pink last night."

Petunia burst out laughing probably imagining what James looked like with pink hair. When she regained her breath she spoke softly.

"How about you? How are you doing?"

"Terrible Pet."

Lily stopped the swing and turned to look at her sister. She spared a glance around them first though.

"I found out I'm pregnant about a week ago."

Petunia narrowed an eye at her.

"Am I suppose to congratulate you or not?"

"Please don't."

She nodded and the bigger woman rocked the swing gently forward and backwards.

"Pet I know we're not close and all that but I need advice and I haven't got anybody else."

"Just say it Lily."

"I haven't told James because I'm worried that he's going to try and wrap me up in cotton wool. He's going to become protective and not let me get involved in things like this anymore."

"Maybe that's for the best though. Look at you. Do you really think you can cope doing a job like that?"

"No but Petunia we're at war. The bad guys keep killing the good ones and before long we're going to run out of people to fight. I have to do something I can't just stop."

"Well what do you do?"

"I go to a pub and spy, I fight in battles and I heal the sick."

"So just stop the fighting then."

"What?"

"Well I'm no expert but I'm sure you can sit in a bar and not have anything alcoholic and there's no reason why you can't heal the sick, in a hospital."

Lily smiled gently leaning over to hug her sister.

"Thank you."

"And you should tell James."

"But I can't."

"He's going to find out soon enough."

"What if he loves this baby more than Sammie?"

This was the first time she'd spoken her deepest fear out loud. Petunia swiped her hair from her face and studied her sister hard.

"Does he love you?"

"Yes."

"Does he love Sammie?"

"Of course."

"Then stop worrying! This is part of life Lily. When mum and dad were having you they always use to tell me that they wouldn't love me any less. Dad use to say that love has a way of expanding to allow more people in. That's true Lily. And more importantly no matter what happens family always love family even if it doesn't always seem that way. Sammie is James' daughter and nothing will change that he'll love her until the day he dies, he's like that."

"And how do you know?"

"I might have pretended not to take an interest Lily but you are my sister. I watched the two of you together when you were living with mum and dad he's besotted with you. And from what he told me before you got married that's clear too."

"You spoke to him before we got married."

"He asked me to give him permission. Said that since dad was gone he couldn't ask anybody else. Said he wanted to do it properly. I gave him a lecture and he told me the truth. It's clear that he loves you both very much."

"I saw you at the wedding you know."

"You looked beautiful Lily."

"Thank you."

They hugged gently and Lily spoke into her sister's hair.

"I love you Petunia, even if you can't stand me."

"I love you too Lily, even if you are a freak."

The pair laughed and Lily stood up.

"I should get going. I need to write up my resignation."

"You're going to quit?"

"I'm going back to the hospital. You're right things need to change."

They hugged once more and Lily left the town. Within twenty minutes she had handed her notice over to Crouch with a letter saying she wanted to be transferred back to the hospital. He made a face but agreed it. With that she left the ministry and headed home.


	95. Ninety Five

Chapter 95

Lily closed the bedroom door as she turned out the light. Sammie was curled up sleeping soundly. With a tiny smile Lily headed down to the kitchen. James was stood over the sink washing the plates. They had eaten in silence that evening with James obviously still upset about how she had reacted earlier.

He turned slowly and studied her.

"Were you even going to tell me?"

"What?"

"You quit Lily!"

"Oh that."

"What? How the hell can you say that? It's your job."

"I can't do it anymore."

"What's wrong with you? You're not yourself anymore."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?"

Lily groaned inwardly. She had raised her voice! James had been angry but he was speaking in a lower almost whispered voice. Then she had to go and yell didn't she.

"THAT'S WHATS WRONG! YOU'RE ARGUMENTATIVE ALL OF A SUDDEN AND I'M SICK OF IT."

"WELL IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT JAMES LEAVE!"

"I WILL."

She watched as he threw the plate back into the sink. She heard it crack but didn't care as he stormed passed her up the stairs. What the hell had she done? She ran after him up to the bedroom. He'd pulled out a bag and was throwing clothes into it.

"What are you doing James?"

"Packing. You want me to go I'll go."

"No James please."

"It's too late Lily. I don't want to live like this."

"You mean you don't want to live with me."

He shot her a look that sent shivers through her body.

"I love you Lily but something has obviously happened between us and I don't know what it is. Until we can stay in a room without fighting I don't think we should be together."

She watched soundlessly as he left the room. His footsteps echoed on the stairs. Then something kicked in and she ran after him. He was in the kitchen floo powder in hand. The stuff hit the flames turning them green as she finally screamed the words at him.

"I'M PREGNANT!"

His mouth was open with the words for the destination about to come out when he stopped. His eyes snapped to look at her and she looked straight at him. His gaze dropped to her stomach before going back to her face.

She watched silently as his bag hit the floor and he took three large steps towards her. His arms held her and her head went to his chest. She felt his lips on her forehead as tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Lily come on it's alright."

He held her as tight as he ever had and she could almost hear the smile on his face. Finally he let her go but took hold of her hand.

"How long have you known?"

"A week."

He grinned and she watched as emotions ran through him. Excitement and joy were slowly replaced with panic and worry.

"No more fighting Lily."

"I quit my job didn't I?"

He grinned a little.

"That's why?"

"No I thought maybe I'd take up Quidditch. Of course that's why!"

"Oh and there's that attitude again. I'm going to have to put up with this for nine months now aren't I?"

He laughed gently as he kissed her. Lily pushed away from him and studied his face.

"I'm not leaving the Order."

"I didn't ask you to."

"I'm still going to spy and I'm going to work in the hospital."

"But no more fighting?"

"No more fighting."

"When can we tell the guys?"

Lily couldn't reply as she moved to sit on one of the wooden chairs and laid her head onto the table. She heard the scrapping of the one next to her and then James' hand was resting gently on her back.

"What aren't you telling me Lily?"

"How can we do this?"

"Do what?"

"Bring a baby into a world like this?"

James' other hand found its way to her chin and she looked into his dark eyes. She could see so much emotion in them and her heart fluttered.

"A world filled with love you mean."

"No a world at war."

"The world is always at war Lily."

"What?"

"Come on think. There's always some conflict going on somewhere in the world. Sometimes its muggle other times it magical. It never matters because it always touches on everyone's lives. But we go on living. Its what we have to do."

"But it's different this time."

"Because we're in the middle of this war you mean."

"Yes James. You're an Auror out there fighting against Voldemort with the ministry and then when you're not doing that we're both out there fighting against Voldemort with Albus. Look how many people have been killed and it could be us next."

"I won't let anybody kill you Lily. They'll have to go through me first."

He smiled gently at her and she leaned in resting her head onto his shoulder. She felt safe with him that was true. It was almost as if the entire would around them didn't exist. As long as she had James she knew that things would be alright.

"I do love you James."

"I know sweetheart and that's why I don't mind how much abuse you throw at me. We'll have our own little family and that's all that matters."

They fell silent sitting there together. Moments passed and then Lily spoke the words that scared her the most.

"What about Sammie?"

She felt James move so she pulled her head up. He was watching her carefully as he spoke up.

"We'll need to explain about there being a new baby of course. But she'll love it, a little baby for her to play with."

"Yes but what about her James?"

His left eye narrowed in a strange way as he studied her.

"What do you want me to say Lily."

"That you'll still love her. That this baby won't push her away from you."

"Lily don't be silly why would it?"

"Because this one is yours. You're the father of my unborn baby James its going to be ours. But Sammie she isn't really yours is she? No matter what anybody says Larry is her biological father. I just don't want her to get hurt. She's only a baby she won't understand that there's any difference between her and this one –"

"There isn't any difference Lily. Merlin I thought you knew me better than this. Sammie is my daughter –"

"But she's not really."

"Yes she is Lily. I don't care that biologically Larry is. I'm the one that's been there. I was the one that held her when she was a new born. I took her from the room and outside so that she could see her first star. I changed her dirty nappies, feed her, clothed her, bathed her and read to her. I played games, picked her up when she was hurt and soothed her. I took her to her first Quidditch game! Lily in all the ways that matter I'm her father and the fact that you're pregnant isn't going to change that. All the things I've done with Sammie are going to be the same and I'll still get to do these things with her plus so much more."

Small tears were forming in Lily's eyes.

"You mean it?"

"Of course. When you're in labour I'll be the one outside the room holding Sammie's hand telling her that her baby brother or sister is coming. I'll be the one to hold her up so she can see inside the crib and introduce them. I'll be showing her how to hold the baby so that she doesn't hurt it. I'll even be the one taking her back to bed in the middle of the night when she sneaks into its room to have a look."

Lily couldn't help the small laugh.

"You've thought about this before haven't you?"

"Of course. I want a big family Lily. Lots of little children running around and Sammie is going to be at the head. She's going to be the oldest. She'll teach all her younger sisters that look that makes me melt and give her whatever she wants. She'll show them just the right way to smile at Sirius and Gideon so that they give into them."

"Sounds like Sammie will be trouble."

"Oh you wait until she's eleven and gets her Hogwarts letter. We'll take her to Diagon Alley and she'll talk us into getting her the best owl going. She'll get all these robes that we know she'll never need just because the colour makes her look gorgeous. Then she'll sneak into the Quidditch shop and Gideon and Sirius will be there fighting over which of them looks best in the latest advert and she'll give them one of her looks and they'll spend hours coming up with ways to get her a broom into Hogwarts. And then she'll find the prank material and Hogwarts better watch out."

"She isn't going to be a prankster; she's going to be a top student."

"Of course she'll be a top student but she'll be like Remus doing pranks on the side. But she'll have another advantage and that's your brains so she won't get caught like Sirius and I did all the time. She'll of course make it onto the Quidditch team and play Chaser just like me and Larry of course. She'll have a bit of both of her dads in her when it comes to Quidditch."

Lily couldn't help but laugh getting caught up in the moment.

"But James then she's going to get to about fourteen and that'll be it. She'll only think about boys. Then what?"

"Oh but that's the beauty of this. We'll have a rule that any boy she wants to date has to meet us. So on the Hogsmeade weekend she'll have to meet us in the Three Broomsticks with the boy and he'll have to impress us."

"Just you and me?"

"Of course not! The boy will have to impress us and Sirius and Remus. Oh and we can't forget Peter who'll be marking him on his manners, and then Gideon and Fabian will turn up and tell Sammie that the boy isn't as good as one of their nephews and the boy will blush and Sammie will slug Gideon for the comment."

"And then what James?"

"She'll give us one of her looks and we'll all melt. We'll say of course the boy is fantastic and that we approve. Then you and Sammie will share a look knowing exactly what the girl has done. You'll excuse yourself to the ladies and Sammie will follow and then you'll talk about what you really think of the boy. But you'll know that Sammie is smart and she'll take care of herself."

"Wow James I never knew you thought of all this."

"Of course I have. Then when the little one –"

He rubbed Lily's stomach gently as he said it.

"– starts Hogwarts Sammie will become protective. She won't let anybody mess with her family and the Potter's will rule the school just like the Marauders did."

Tears were falling down Lily's cheeks as she laughed happily.

"Sounds perfect James."

"Yep only one thing is missing though."

"And what's that?"

"The guys need to know so that they can start arguing over being godfather, over names, over who's going to be the favourite uncle."

Lily smiled as she leaned forward to kiss James. Why had she been so worried? Of course things would work out. This was her and James.


	96. Ninety Six

Chapter 96

November passed in a haze as Lily worked her notice. She tried to explain why she was leaving but it was difficult since she didn't want people to know about the baby yet. In the end they tried to understand but just accepted that she couldn't handle it. She had heard Roger mumbling about how she wasn't capable of the job. But most thought that it held to many memories of Eddie for her.

Eddie was constantly on her mind in those early days of her pregnancy. At night lying in bed when James was sleeping she couldn't help but think of her friend. She wondered how he would react to the new baby. Images of him rushing over and touching her stomach all the time filled her head. Eddie had always loved pregnancy; he had thought it very natural.

But as November faded she couldn't help but get more irritable. James was driving her bananas. It was the constant asking of could they tell people. She wasn't ready yet. He tried to understand but no matter what he said this was his first child and he wanted them to know.

As December started she could tell the boys knew something was up. It was the fact that she and James were always arguing. Sometimes it was really bad and couldn't go unnoticed. The worse so far had been when James had forgotten the Christmas tree. Lily had flown at him, throwing cups at his head.

That argument had resulted with James spending the night on the boy's sofa. Lily had felt really bad about it afterwards and when Sirius turned up at seven the next morning holding the biggest tree she had ever seen it made her feel worse. The man had been so nice he even offered to help them out with Sammie if they needed some time to work things out.

They really needed to be told. But Lily had worse things to worry about. There had been another attack and Ogden one of the Order members who worked with muggles had been found with all his blood drained. Emergency meetings had been called but nobody could figure out how Voldemort had known about Ogden. There was a rumour going around that they had a traitor.

So as the twentieth of December hit Lily found herself sitting with Peter at a table in a muggle café. She didn't think it was him but she wanted to know if he had seen Kayleigh recently. He smiled patting her hand and assured her that he was keeping clear of the girl. They wondered together who the traitor might be but neither had any ideas.

When Lily had returned home after that she was met with the best surprise. James had completely decorated the house. All their presents had been wrapped and he'd even bought a large amount of muggle stamps so she could send Petunia her present that way. She laughed hugging him.

She loved when things were good. But her moods were terrible. They were worse than they had been when she had expected Sammie. But then her mind told her things were worse now than then. When she had been pregnant last time she had been in mourning now she was just in danger.

But as is always the way time passed and before she knew it she was waking up on Christmas morning. The smell of turkey already filled the air. She thought that was very strange since she was cooking the meal. As she entered the living room though it all became clear.

Sammie was sat on the floor with a pile of presents around her. She kept trying to grab one but James would speak softly to her.

"Not until mummy gets up."

"Presents now."

"No Sammie not until mummy gets up."

"You should just go wake her Prongs."

Lily smiled gently as Sirius picked up a parcel and shook it. She could tell he was dying to open his own but Remus took it from his hands before he could.

"Not until mummy gets up Sirius."

"This is so unfair. Wake her up!"

"No. She might throw something at me!"

Sirius laughed as Remus looked up. He was the first to spot her and winked gently. He was slowly beginning to recover from the grief of losing Carly. Lily noted that he was fine with the boys but if left on his own too long then it would overcome him.

"Peter come in here."

"I'm basking the turkey."

"Mama presents."

The remaining two men looked up at Lily and Sirius whooped as he grabbed his gift back from Remus and tore it open. Lily lowered herself to the floor and kissed James gently. This was what Christmas was all about, family. His usual question lingered just below his eyes and Lily touched his arm and whispered gently.

"We'll tell them soon. But not today. Let them fuss over Sammie instead."

He nodded as he gave her a present. Things couldn't be any better. She laughed as a book about gardening fell onto her lap and she kissed James again.

"Thank you it's wonderful."

His arm snaked around her as they watched Sammie rip the paper off her presents. She had a small bungle at her feet; there were bears, dresses and even another new Quidditch strip. Lily just had to laugh.

She watched silently as Sirius punched the air and did a little dance when he opened the smallest of his presents to find a set of keys.

"You bought me a car!"

"No Padfoot not a car."

He shot James a look as Peter walked back into the living room.

"Oh he's opened that present then."

"Wait who is this off?"

"Marauders mate."

Lily watched as he looked at the three boys. She had to admit she couldn't help but wonder what they had gotten him. The man was bouncing on his feet and finally Remus stood up and grabbed his arm steering him to the garden. Lily picked up Sammie who hit her painfully on the head with a colouring book that Fabian had gotten her.

"Stop that Sammie lets go look."

"No presents."

"Don't you want to see what Uncle Sirius has?"

"Us, Us."

"Yes that's right Uncle Sirius."

She walked out to the garden. There was two inches of snow hiding the grass but what surprised her was a single line through the snow. She stepped outside shivering instantly. But as quickly as the cold had hit a burst of warm air surrounded her. She smiled as James wrapped his arm around her.

"Watch his face now."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Lily jumped as Sirius came whizzing back from around the side of the house. He was waving his arms above his head and wore a maniac looking grin.

"This is the best thank you!"

He picked Peter up from the ground and bounced him on the spot.

"Put me down Sirius."

"Us and Pah funny."

Lily grinned as her daughter waved the book in front of her. Her speech was coming along; she was twenty months old after all. It was just the names that she didn't seem to be getting a grip of but then nobody really minded. The girl laughed as Sirius dropped Peter and took a run at Remus.

"Sirius no, don't Siriussssssssssssss!"

It was too late; the man had jumped on top of Remus and knocked him to the ground. Sammie laughed louder as she waved the book.

"Wee went bang."

James sensing what was coming next took Sammie from Lily. As Sirius stood and looked towards them James waved the girl in front of him.

"Come on Sirius you wouldn't tackle a man with a baby would you?"

The glint in his eyes told Lily that he might just try. He took a run and James looking alarmed passed Sammie to Lily as quick as possible and ran around the corner. Sirius was fast on his heels. But then a strange revving sound echoed through the silence. Lily watched as Peter grinned while Remus was busy brushing snow off himself.

"Hey that's no fair! But wow!"

Sirius came running around the corner again looking up at the sky. Lily followed his gaze and felt her mouth drop.

"James get down here now!"

"Yes dear I'm coming."

There was a soft bump on the ground as the motorcycle he'd been flying landed on the ground. He got off and hugged Sirius in a brotherly fashion. The Quidditch star just looked gobsmacked as he took in the details on the bike.

"It flies too! This has to be the best present ever."

"Boys it's illegal to charm a muggle object to fly. Arthur Weasley just passed a law last month on it."

Sirius looked chest fallen as he turned to gaze at her.

"You won't tell anybody will you Lily?"

"She doesn't have to Sirius. I stopped Arthur on his way through the office a couple of weeks back. I've checked and it's technically not against the law for it to fly, if you're not intending to fly it."

Sirius grinned wider and Lily knew that yet again the Marauders were going to be breaking some rules. Or maybe this time she should say laws.


	97. Ninety Seven

I know that I updated yesterday but I'm upset with myself because of my university results and the only thing that seems to cheer me up these days is reviews. Especially from Karen who somehow always manages to make me smile. So to try and cheer myself up I'm posting again today.

Chapter 97

Christmas passed and brought with it the New Year. Lily hadn't thought through what she planned to do for the celebration. The image of her sat in the house trying to pretend that she was drinking alcohol bombarded her mind. Maybe Peter would fall for it, Sirius certainly would but Remus would know instantly.

But New Year wasn't as much a problem as Lily had expected. James had insisted on throwing a 'small' party and about fifty of their closest friends turned up. In their short time married they had already gained a reputation for the best parties. Lily though wouldn't take any of the credit for those, no it was Marauders that were the party experts she just happened to be married to one of them.

Peter had of course agreed to help with the food, which was a relief to Lily. She was beginning to tire more. She knew that it wasn't really the pregnancy it was running around that hospital again; it would take getting use to. Then there was the fact that Sammie had learnt to walk and enjoyed nothing better than a game of chase through the house, trying to knock everything over.

Really thinking about it Lily was just thankful that the only pet they had was an owl. Yes that was undoubtedly the best thing. She could just imagine a dog running around the house; James had wanted a dog for a while. But what with the fact that they were so busy at the moment he had relented. However the moment the war was over and things had settled there'd be a dog in the house.

But that didn't matter at that moment. Lily watched silently as Peter fried about a dozen different dishes over the stove, he had a ham joint in the oven and had already chopped up fruit to put into a secret punch that he was going to make. Lily had tried to help but Peter was determined that catering was his field of expertise. He really was a great cook and Lily could picture him owning a large restaurant when things got better. One that all the rich and famous would go to. The only problem was that Peter's food was so good you could eat it so much you'd get fat.

That was something else that was bothering Lily. She had put on five pound in the last week alone. It wasn't really a big deal to put weight on, but at this rate she'd be showing within the next week or so. Mind she was two months gone but still she wanted it to be at least three months before she started to show. Otherwise she'd have to worry about how big this child was going to be. She'd done the labour thing once and a big child would be extra painful.

"Afternoon beautiful. What smells so good?"

James kissed her cheek lightly as he walked towards the stove.

"Oh those look good Pete, think I can –"

James had reached out a hand to take one of the sausages that he'd been frying up. Lily watched in silent amazement as Peter slapped at James' hand causing him to pull it back. He put a pout on his face and looked at Peter but the man didn't even look at him.

"Try that again Potter and I'll hex you!"

James turned and gave Lily a scared look before sniffing again.

"You know I think I smell bad, maybe I'll take a shower while you finish cooking."

"Best idea you've had in a while Potter."

James left the kitchen taking Lily with him.

"Has he been like that all afternoon?"

"Nope, he let Sammie have some sausage rolls earlier before Remus took her out."

"Remus has taken Sammie out?"

"Yeah didn't you know? Alice is coming over to help me decorate and Peter's cooking so Remus said he'd take her somewhere to get her out of our hair while we set things up."

"Oh alright then."

He leaned in and Lily wriggled her nose.

"Shower first, kiss later."

He put a pout on his face but Lily folded her hands over her chest. He leaned forward again to kiss her and she pushed him gently away.

"Try that again Potter and I'll hex you."

He laughed as he headed up to the bathroom and Lily started to pick up Sammie's toys. They were spread everywhere. It was Gideon's fault. He'd spent Christmas with the Weasleys and so had decided to visit them yesterday. He'd had all of Sammie's toys out with her and then Lily had been too tired later to put them away. She knew that James would have done it but he hadn't come home.

Lily had been really worried actually but something told her that he was alright. So she had refused to floo him at work and find out what had happened. That was probably the best decision she had made in a while judging by the Prophet that had arrived that morning. An attack in a muggle night club up in Newcastle. It might have been a while since Lily had been a muggle but she knew that Newcastle was the centre for nightlife up North. They were famous for their bars.

"LILY!!"

Peter screeched her name and she legged it quickly into the kitchen.

"What's wrong Pete?"

"Get your friend out of my fire now! How am I suppose to cook if there's somebody in it?"

Alice stood in the fire looking like she was ready to laugh.

"Come in Alice."

The spell that prevented visitors from leaving the fireplace without leave vanished and Alice happily stepped out just as Peter put a large pot into the flames.

"No other guests better be arriving that way before seven Lily. Otherwise there will be trouble…"

By ten o'clock the party was in full swing. Lily laughed at jokes told by one of their many friends, she snacked on the delicious food that Peter had prepared and danced with so many people that she lost count.

She noticed James creep back downstairs after putting Sammie to bed. He was right about her being a little madam. She really could twist the men in her life around her little finger already. Lily couldn't help but dread her getting older. The trouble that girl would cause. But it looked like James had finally won the battle and their daughter was tucked up in bed, probably sulking mind.

Lily entered the kitchen; it was filled with people just like everywhere else. A selection of alcoholic drinks lined the table, some with chilling spells on them. She and James had thought long and hard about drinks and decided it was best to let people chose their own. So they bought a wide range and left them out for people.

Next to them was Peter's punch. It looked delicious and Lily wished like anything that she could drink it. Peter refused to tell her what was in it, but he had admitted to putting some vodka in there with other alcoholic and fruity treats. So Lily passed over that and picked up the carton of orange juice. She poured it into her glass and turned to see Alice stood beside her.

"Hi Alice, enjoying the party?"

"Brilliant. Have you finished with the orange juice?"

"Sure."

Lily handed Alice the carton and she poured it into the glass. Lily looked carefully wondering what else was in there. Alice seemed to read her mind.

"Vodka and orange. I don't usually go for this kind of drink but it's surprisingly good. You?"

"Same. It was my mothers favourite and well I've never drunk it before, so I thought I'd give it a go."

They smiled at each other and Lily couldn't help but wonder if Alice was sharing a similar secret. Their eyes locked and Lily took hold of Alice's arm and led her out into the garden. A heating charm had been placed throughout the yard and it felt toasty out there. Small groups of people stood together and Lily spotted Roger and Francesca dancing under a large oak tree.

Checking again to make sure the coast was clear Lily spoke in a whisper.

"There's no alcohol in there is there?"

"Of course there is."

"Alice the truth."

"Fine its just orange juice."

"Mine too."

Lily bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. Alice's eyes had widened and she looked at Lily. She pointed to her stomach and Lily nodded as did Alice. A small squeal left Lily's mouth as she grabbed her friend into hug.

"How far are you Al?"

"About two months I think. You?"

"The same!"

"Lily you've got to keep this a secret, we haven't told anybody yet."

"Nor have we."

"Wait the boys don't know?"

"Of course not. If they did do you really think they'd let me out of their sights. They'd be fighting over godfather rights, over the right to be an uncle and probably Quidditch teams as well."

Alice laughed as they headed back inside. Lily couldn't help but think this was the best possible news she could get. If Alice was pregnant too well then, things would be okay. Because if Frank and James got all protective they had each other, they could complain and keep each other company. The seventies were about to end and Lily thought that the eighties might be a better decade for them after all. Things couldn't possibly get any worse.


	98. Ninety Eight

Okay so I'm spoiling you this week and I know it. Three post in four days! I just want to say thank you to all the nice things that were said. Looking at my results they're not bad. In fact I had a 2.2 which is a fantastic pass. I just missed by one module the grade I needed to go back. So now I'm all happy again and want to say thank you for all the nice comments and the only way I could think to do so was by posting. So here's another post and I hope you all enjoy.

Kris xx

Chapter 98

The enjoyment of New Year quickly passed. Everybody fell back to their daily routines as life continued on once again. Lily found that life in the hospital wasn't as bad as she once thought. With all her field work she went in at a higher position. In fact she was placed in charge of the Herophilus ward.

It was a rather strange ward to be sure. She was dealing with people with nervous problems. They had seen a man only recently who was overcome by the shakes. Nothing had been able to stop him shaking. That was until Lily ended a freezing charm on him. He had gotten so drunk over the New Year he'd forgotten that he'd had it placed on him. Some people!

But that was just one of many cases. Now that Voldemort was about a lot of people had nervous problems. Scared of old friends, fearful of their cat in case it was really a Death Eater. Lily was thankful really that she was only expected to work on the ward twice a week.

It was strange really. Most of the healers stayed on one department, but those with proper skills went everywhere. Her favourite place though was the emergency department. Lily was expected to work six days a week and found that this was where she spent the majority of her time.

It felt right to her to be there. Owen's was still in charge and agreed that she should do most shifts working there as she was best qualified. She had been out there had faced the Death Eaters in battle. She was a saver of lives in the field. A lot of the junior members looked up to her. Many had already expressed the desire to work in the ministry and she was coaching them.

She had been in the hospital two weeks before Charlton did his next shift there. She had almost forgotten that the healers in the ministry were expected to work one shift a month in the hospital. He had seen her dealing with a young witch who had managed to get a tea pot stuck up her left nostril and came straight over.

"What do we have here then Lily?"

She had smiled explaining the situation and then they had told the girl they would go consult some books and come back.

"You look great Lily."

"And you Charlton. How's everything running?"

"We lost Steve three days ago."

"Oh that's terrible when's the funeral?"

"Tenth of this month."

"I'll be there."

"Thought you would."

She had enjoyed the catch up but it had been more than two old colleagues talking. There had been a purpose to their conversation. While Lily had been in charge of the department she and Charlton had spoken in depth about a person stationed in the hospital that could pick out the best healers to cope in their situation. They were being sent so many that after three days were being sent back because they couldn't cope in the field. So with Lily back in the hospital they now had somebody with the knowledge of the job that could do such things. So Lily was head of a department, a healer in the emergency ward and the person in charge of handing out the ministry healer positions. She really was enjoying being back.

But January wasn't all fun and games for her. On the tenth she went to a church in Essex where she sat with her old friends and they laid another one of them to rest. Lily wanted so much to be part of their group again. Part of her was screaming to go back to the ministry. Then her common sense struck and she knew she'd already played that part. She had trained most of them up.

But after that more sadness waved at her. The sixteenth of January showed itself quicker than she could have wanted. She had booked the day off of work and spent the morning sitting at the grave of her friend Lyn. She had taken to visiting the place often. It was strange really that she was going between graveyards at a regular basis. Every Sunday afternoon she'd be at one of them, talking to Lyn, or to Eddie, maybe Carly or Larry and on occasions her parents.

After three hours at Lyn's grave she stood and found herself in another. As she sat between the markers for her parents she couldn't help but wonder how terrible one date could be. Two years ago Lyn had been murdered. One year ago her parents had been murdered. She was hoping like hell that the chain broke there.

James had been worried that this date might mark badly on Lily and so he had arranged for a meal out in London for them. At eight o'clock James led Lily into the restaurant and they were shown to a table. She had half expected it to be just the two of them. But as she looked at the smiling faces of their friends she knew that had been stupid.

Squashed around the table were Remus, Peter, Sirius, Fabian, Gideon, Alice, Frank and of course little Sammie. James helped to settle her and small conversations started. It wasn't long before a waiter turned up and smiled at them all.

"Could I get you some drinks?"

Sirius spoke before anybody else could.

"We'll have some Champaign, my treat. We are going to remember our friends that have fallen in a grand fashion."

The waiter made to move when Lily called out.

"Can we have two lemonades as well please? Oh wait make that three."

He nodded and walked away. Lily felt all eyes come to her and she smiled sweetly at Sirius.

"Sammie can't have Champaign now can she?"

"So you've ordered her three lemonades. Prongs you're wife can't count."

"Yes she can Padfoot."

"Well then why three?"

"I don't know. I would have thought that only two was necessary."

He shot her a look and she just smiled. Leaning gently up she kissed his cheek speaking in a very low whisper for him.

"Tell them our news.

"You mean I can finally tell the guys!"

"Tell them."

His grin widened as the waiter came back with the drinks. Lily carefully put the plastic glass in front of Sammie positioning the straw so she could reach it. The Champaign was poured into glasses as Lily passed a lemonade over to Frank winking at him.

She watched as his lips went to Alice's ear and he whispered something. Alice turned and said something back and Frank looked back to her amazed. She picked up her own lemonade and sipped it smiling towards him.

"Are you flirting with Frank Lily?"

She grinned at Gideon sneaking a look at James.

"You jealous Gid."

"He's a married man you know. If you're going to flirt aim for one of us solo men."

She laughed as everyone picked up their glasses. The attention turned to Sirius as he clinked his glass.

"So I'm going to make a toast… Alice Champaign. What is with you women?"

On cue James cleared his throat.

"Lily and I are having a baby."

"WHAT?"

Everyone turned to look at Peter. He'd gone red and clamped his hand to his mouth.

"I said we're having a baby."

There was stunned silence as Frank clinked his own glass.

"Let's make this a double celebration then. Alice and I are having a baby too."

The silence stretched on for another thirty seconds before all hell broke loose. Lily was pulled to her feet as she was hugged by all the men. She could see that Alice was receiving the same treatment and it felt like an age before they could sit down again.

As the men raised their Champaign again the waiter returned.

"Are you ready to order?"

"We'll have nine lobster dinners and one chicken nugget meal for the baby."

The waiter nodded walking away and Sirius raised his glass again.

"Dinners my treat tonight! Now for the toast. To all those that have fallen in the battle against Voldemort. To the Quidditch stars who lost their lives two years ago today. To the Order members who were tracked down for standing up for what is right. To the Aurors and Healers who have been slain trying to protect the innocent. And lastly to the many people who didn't deserve to be killed, the ones who were tracked down for fun. To all those that have fallen we remember you."

"We remember you."

Everyone spoke together clinking glasses together solemnly. Around them people were looking. Lily wondered if they thought that maybe they were coming from a funeral for a friend. But the atmosphere changed instantly as Remus raised his glass again.

"Now a toast for those still alive. To those Quidditch stars who fought back, to the Order members that still stand up for what is right. To the Aurors and Healers who still try to protect the innocent and lastly to the innocent themselves who close their eyes to the evil and continue living. We remember you too!"

"We remember you too."

Gideon raised his glass next and Lily couldn't help a small giggle as they all did the same. An evening of toasting was just fun.

"Now a toast to us. To Frank and Alice, two of the best Aurors the ministry have. May you continue to fight for what is right as you protect the family that you are to start. To James and Lily, another top couple, our great Auror and Healer partnership. May you continue to protect the innocent as your family grows bigger. To Sirius one of England's top Quidditch stars. May your beaters bat keep hitting and your wand keep protecting. To Remus our sensitive layabout. No other man is capable of facing the horrors you do and here's to the hope that the future is better to you. To Peter the greatest chef in the wizarding world. Let Crispin falter and a better Minister replace him so you can open your own restaurant. And to Fabian. The best big brother in the entire world. May you continue with the great fight doing what is right and protecting us all…"

Gideon's words ran short and James stood up taking over.

"And to Gideon our own little entertainer. May England be all the better for having you, may the Arrows go further than before and may the Death Eaters fall at your wand."

Everyone began to laugh as they went to clink their glasses again. But Peter jumped up and grinned.

"Let's not forget Sammie now! To Sammie our little angel. May the world grow safer as you grow older. May you be blessed with the same magical ability as your parents and be the biggest prankster that Hogwarts will see since the Marauders. Oh and lastly to the unborn babies Longbottom and Potter. May the war end soon so that you never have to face the same difficulties that we do. May you never have to fear for your lives or wonder if one around you is a traitor. Here's to all of us, and a better future."

"To all of us and a better future."

As Lily's glass touched James' she couldn't help but hope that things would end soon. That the fear that they lived with would never touch their children. But more importantly she hoped that they would find the traitor soon. Little did she suspect that the traitor was sat with them, and never would she have suspected that if she hadn't have announced her pregnancy that night he would have sold her to Voldemort the next morning.


	99. Ninety Nine

Chapter 99

Lily turned over in her bed as the sleep wore away. The smell of bacon reached up to her. Stretching she flung her legs out of bed and then it happened. The room took on a spinning feeling, her stomach contracted and she felt a lump in her throat. She managed to make it to the bathroom as the morning sickness stage of her pregnancy arrived.

This was the bit that she had least been looking forward too. She rested her head against the wall as she hugged the toilet. She hated being sick, she hated the fact that for the next two months she'd be useless in the mornings. Oh she hated James for cooking that bacon.

Another round of morning sickness hit her and her head faced the toilet. She felt like it would never end. Then finally it did. She felt her stomach settle as she stood up. Going back to the bedroom she found James' dressing gown and pulled it over herself. The kitchen was full of the smell of greasy food.

"Morning Lily. I've made you a full English."

"I'll pass."

"But you need your strength."

"No thank you."

"But –"

"We're at the morning sickness stage James. I'll just have a cup of tea and a piece of toast."

His hands wrapped around her and he kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry Lils. Is it really bad?"

"You try being sick the moment you wake up. It's not good."

He kissed her again before moving to pour some tea for her.

"What've you got planned for today James?"

"I've been called into work. Alice isn't feeling too well so I told Moody I'd go in."

"What? But I'm working too."

"I know."

He put the toast in front of her as he took the seat opposite with the full English breakfast.

"James who's going to have Sammie?"

"Well I've sorted that out don't worry."

"James?"

"It's coming up to Molly Weasley's birthday so Fabian has booked the day off to go into Diagon Alley with Gideon and do some shopping. I've already spoken to him and he's agreed to take Sammie with him. They'll go do a bit of shopping, and then take her to see the owls and cats in the shops. Then get her an ice-cream."

"Okay and how long will they have her for?"

"Until three o'clock. But Frank said that they can drop Sammie off to Alice then because she should be better this afternoon. Plus by that time Sammie will be sleepy so Alice can put her to bed and then I'll go and pick her up at five o'clock."

"And does Alice know about this?"

"Yes. Frank flooed over here after telling Moody Alice wasn't going in. He asked me to cover and said that Alice would love to have Sammie later. Give her a chance to be all motherly with her."

Lily took a bite of her toast and looked at the man carefully.

"Alright then. But don't go making a habit of this. You're suppose to be showing Sammie that nothing is going to change because of this baby. Can't have you cancelling on her all the time then can we?"

James smiled through a grilled tomato. Lily couldn't help but smile back. He was such a dope, but he was her dope and she loved him.


	100. One Hundred

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all you lovely readers, especially those of you who have been here from chapter one. I never expected the story to be this long but it just seems to have grown and grown in size.

I want to warn you all that this chapter is going to be completely different to any that have gone before. This story is written entirely out of Lily's point of view. This chapter is different. This is from the view of an outsider.

Since we've made it to chapter 100 I wanted to make it something special. So I'm going to answer a very common question. I'm going to tell you all what I have planned for little Sammie. A number of you have pointed out that she doesn't exist in the books and I have had a plan for her since the start (she is the only constant in this story, everything else has changed), so read this chapter and then when you've finished there'll be an authors note at the bottom telling you all about what will happen to Sammie. (For those that don't want to know I'll make sure that it is way down so that you don't have to read it if you don't want to)

Kris xx

* * *

Chapter 100

There was a buzz in the air. Valentine's Day was drawing closer. Adventurous wizards and witches were braving the chilly day to go buy something for the ones they loved. The threat of Voldemort seemed almost forgotten as people got on with their everyday existence.

"On look!"

Gideon turned and saw a large screech owl sat in the window of the Magical Menagerie. Sammie was waving her hand towards it as if wanting to pet it.

"Come on Sammie lets go look at the books."

"No On, owl!"

She twisted in his arms so that she was leaning over his shoulders reaching backwards for the owl.

"Gideon hurry up, it's cold out here."

"I'm coming as quickly as I can Fabian!"

Fabian turned around and laughed heartily as Gideon tried to keep a hold of Sammie.

"The little monkey."

The girl turned looking quizzically at Fabian.

"An look owl. Go see owl."

He chuckled as he shook his head.

"Later Sammie. We've got to go in here first."

She put a pout onto her face that reminded him of Larry. The girl had been taught it by Gideon and Sirius but when she pulled that face she looked exactly like her father. In fact Fabian thought that with each growing day she was becoming more and more like Larry. She had the same blonde hair that fell in soft waves around her heart shaped face. Her eyes were the softest shade of blue that existed exactly like her fathers.

But there was Lily in her too. That quizzical look was her mothers. That look of 'what are you up to now'. She was truly the best bits of both her parents. Fabian would never admit it but he missed Larry. They had been friends since their Hogwarts days. It was strange sometimes getting up and thinking no Larry.

He always found February the hardest. The seventeenth was Larry's birthday. It was strange how little things like that can have an affect. He was pulled out of his thoughts though as Gideon screeched. He turned to see a pile of transfiguration books on the floor.

The shopkeeper came running over and Fabian took Sammie.

"I'm really sorry Jack. It was Sammie here, she pulled at them."

The girl gurgled and Fabian smiled lightly at her.

"Stop smiling Fabian it'll just encourage her to do it again."

"Like she needs encouragement off me. Geeze Gideon with James raising her she's bound to be trouble."

The two men laughed as Gideon picked the last book up off the ground.

"Like I said I'm sorry Jack."

"No harm done Gideon. What can I do you for?"

"Umm I'm not too sure. We're looking for something for Molly's birthday."

"Molly hay. Umm… you know there's a new autobiography out by Celestina Warbeck and your sister has always been a fan if I remember."

Gideon and Fabian exchanged looks. Jack Zusak had been in school with Molly, in fact he had married one of her best friends. He really did know Molly well. Gideon thought about it for a moment and looked back at Fabian.

"We could get her the book and then we should go to Honeydukes and buy her some of that fudge that she likes."

"Jack what's Karen getting her?"

"Some sort of robes. Its clothes that's for sure. She reckons that after Molly has the baby next month she's going to need something decent to wear again."

"Fabian do you think we should get something for the baby?"

"What for little Ginevra or Ronald? No we'll get something for the baby once it's born. This is Molly's birthday."

"Baby."

Fabian moved Sammie to his other arm and nodded.

"That's right Sammie. Molly's having another baby remember."

"Mummy's baby."

Gideon was stood by the counter paying for the book when he turned and nodded.

"That's right you're going to be a big sister. Have you told Jack?"

Fabian watched as she looked at the man still putting books back in order.

"Big sister, me."

"Oh really. You're going to be a big sister that's exciting."

"Bobby."

"Bobby who's Bobby."

"Us named baby Bobby."

Gideon and Fabian shared a look laughing gently.

"Bobby Potter, can you imagine it."

"I would have thought Sirius would have gone for something a bit more out there. Would have thought he'd have chosen Godric."

"Godric Potter. Now that does sound more like Sirius. But I bet he's picked Bobby because it can be a girls name too. Bobbi with an i. It'll be some other name he'll want by July."

The brothers were still chuckling as they left the shop and heading back into the street. It was packed with shoppers.

"Where too next then Gideon?"

"Umm…"

"OWL!"

Fabian looked at the girl in his arms and back at his brother.

"Won't do any harm. She can look at the owl while we decide where to go next."

So they walked through the crowd towards the shop. They stopped outside so Sammie could look at the owl in the window. She tapped the glass and he opened an eye looking at her. She was giggling to herself while Gideon and Fabian looked around.

Something felt wrong to Fabian. He shifted his balance and nodded to Gideon. He took Sammie while Fabian turned and looked around. He'd been an Auror for a number of years and was really good at his job. His gut instinct was never wrong.

"Duck!"

He pushed his hand onto Gideon's head and threw him to the floor. The window smashed behind them and they heard the thump of the owl's body hit the ground. Screams sounded throughout the crowded streets as people pushed and pulled to get into shops.

"We need to get clear of here Fabian."

He nodded at his brother as he pulled his wand free. They ran through the streets as spells hit the walls behind them. They were being chased. This was all for them. Fabian knew it. It had been four weeks since the last attack on an Order member. They had been stupid coming out together like this and bringing Sammie. Oh god Sammie, what would happen to her if they were caught?

Fabian skidded into Florean Fortescue's Ice-Cream Parlour. Gideon was on his heels. There were about twenty people hidden inside behind the counter and under chairs. He shared a look with his brother and knew what they had to do. They were warriors, they were fighters. They'd face the Death Eaters and make them regret the day they took on the Prewett brothers.

"Sammie you have to stay in here alright."

"An up."

"No Sammie stay here."

Fabian kissed the girls forehead and looked at his brother. He got up and headed to the entrance of the shop. Gideon looked at the little girl and hugged her close.

"Stay safe Sammie."

"On!"

He ignored her call and turned pulling his wand out. Then he ran out onto the street. Fabian was already fighting. He was a skilled dueller was his brother. Gideon had always envied his ability with the wand, but it was self discipline. He had taught himself to fight. Gideon raised his own wand and went to battle.

From a window across the way stood a man looking out. His white hair stood on end as his pale wide eyes watched the scene of destruction from outside. He knew the damage that would be inflicted, he could see the spells. Evil spells coming from his own wands. Yes he never forgot a wand that he made.

He pressed his nose against the window watching. Fabian Prewett ran passed looking in a sweat. There was a cut above his right eye and his left arm was resting uselessly by his side. He brandished his wand sending yellow sparks at his attacker. His wand, oak 13 inches with a dragon heartstring. A good and powerful wand.

Another spell hit him and he lost his balance falling onto the ground. Three Death Eaters surrounded him but then a loud bang and a flash of light. The old wand maker blinked blinded by the sudden light. When his eyes opened and had finished watering he saw another figure pulling up the Prewett boy. The tiniest of smiles came to his face, ash 11½ inches unicorn tail-hair. Another powerful wand held by the other Prewett brother.

He could see they were backed into a corner. But the two brothers didn't stop. They sent spells at the Death Eaters, finally out of nine only five reminded standing. The old man turned away from the window knowing what would happen and not wishing to witness it.

He heard the screams of the Death Eaters as Avada Kedavra sounded through the silent streets. He closed his eyes and could see the picture of Gideon losing his grip on Fabian as they both fell to the ground. How the Death Eaters would set their mark in the sky. The old man knew all this as he headed to the back room to make more wands. Yes the world now needed more wands, but they also needed more men like the Prewetts who would use them for good and not evil.

"On? An?"

The smallest of voices sounded through the disserted street. Pops were echoing as the followers of Voldemort were fleeing the scene. Only one remained. The voice was sweet and childlike growing louder and louder. He watched silently as the smallest little girl he had seen ever alone stumbled onto the street.

Her eyes were a pale blue and she turned this way and that. Her blonde hair hit her face as she searched. Then she spotted them. He watched from the lane as she stumbled in a childlike run over to the two dead men. She dropped to the ground and prodded at them.

"On wake up! Want to see the owl."

Nothing. He watched as she crawled over and touched the other body.

"An wake up! On won't wake up and I want to see the owls."

The man stepped out and the girl turned to look at him. Her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Won't wake up."

He bent over them pretending to look at them.

"What's your name?"

"Sammie."

He gasped to himself. This was the Potter girl. The smallest of smiles crept to his face. Her father had tried to kill him. He'd sent him after a werewolf. He'd pay; this would be his revenge for that. The man picked up his wand and looked at the girl.

"Do you want to go where they are?"

"Want to see the owl."

He nodded and muttered the words. Green shot out of his wand and the girl went limp. Her body landed gently on top of the one named Gideon. Turning his back on the scene he walked up Diagon Alley. Yes his master would be very proud of him for this.

* * *

So what happens to Sammie? Snape kills her. Like I said I've had this planned from the start, I just can't believe that it timed out so well as to land on chapter 100. So review, I want to know what you think of this.

Carly there is something you should know. Killing Gideon was by far the hardest thing I've had to do. See I couldn't do it, that's why we don't see it. I already miss him. This story just isn't going to be the same without him.

Kris xx


	101. One Hundred One

Chapter 101

"One sugar just as you like it."

Lily smiled gently at Tobias as she took the tea from him. It was a quiet morning in the hospital. As such they were both sitting around the central hub talking. She sipped her tea as Tobias gave her a little nod.

"So I hear congratulations is at hand."

"Yeah thanks."

"James can't stop grinning you know. He came into the department one morning humming and Moody told him to cut it out. He refused and just announced that he was going to be a father before running into our section screaming Lily's having a baby."

"Alice told me he did that. I was ready to kill him when he got home. I knew that the monthly meeting was taking place the next day and I'd planned to come in and tell you all myself. I wanted to explain that was the reason why I left."

"It answers a lot of questions mind. I mean I know that there were rumours that you couldn't hack being in charge but those of us who have worked with you knew that couldn't be true. Especially when they put you in charge of the department over here."

She nodded gently.

"I loved working at the ministry Tobias it was the best thing I think I've ever done. Going out there I felt like I was really making a difference and if I could I'd still do it. But we've lost so many people that I can't chance it, not in my condition. My baby has to come first."

"Of course and nobody thinks any different of you. Plus you're still helping us out, only now through recruitment. I mean the last two you sent are amazing. There are no problems with them at all. Although that Sandy girl got a little upset about the Osbourne murders."

"What happened?"

"Didn't James tell you?"

Lily shook her head and Tobias ran his fingers through his lengthening black hair.

"Do you remember a while back there was an attack on the Hurlies?"

Lily closed her eyes a little. It was hard to remember attacks because there were so many happening. But from somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered a conversation with James and the boys in the living room of their house talking about the Hurlies when she had last been pregnant.

"Mina and Jack. She was a pureblood related to – oh what was his name – Armod Wilkes. Her husband was a muggleborn so the Death Eaters killed them. That's going way back Tobias."

"Yes but do you remember the children?"

From the look on his face she could tell that he didn't like thinking about it. She closed her eyes and tried to draw the conversation back to her mind again. She suddenly remembered the look on Tobias' face when he had come back from the house and nodded at him gently.

"They drained the boy of all his blood. That's how he died."

He nodded slowly.

"Yeah that's right. It was sick. He was too young to do magic and they killed him in that way. Well three days ago we got a call about a possible Death Eater killing at the Osbourne house. The Dark Mark had been sighted above the house. James and Fabian came in and asked for one of us to go with them. So I volunteered thinking that it would be a good way for Sandy to see that side of the job."

Lily nodded knowing what was coming.

"We went in and it was horrible. Marcus Osbourne you know he's an Unspeakable. He'd been torn apart. I've never seen anything like it Lily. I mean I've seen them torture people and kill them in such ways but by the blood splattering he was alive when they blew him up."

"Tobias that's terrible."

"Yes well his wife Sandra was drained of her blood. But it's worse than that. Somebody had cut her stomach. She had been eight months pregnant."

Lily felt the colour drain from her cheeks.

"What had they done to the baby?"

"Strangled him."

Lily's hand went to her mouth and Tobias hugged her gently. She'd been keeping updated about all the cases thanks to the fact that almost every day a member of the Ministry healing team was in the department. But this was beyond anything she had heard.

"Tobias they're going too far. I can understand why they're killing witches and wizards it's because we can stand up to them and fight back. But children that I don't get."

He gave her the smallest smile as he pulled backwards.

"They're getting rid of the next generation. They're killing us off one by one but the next generation are going to want revenge. So by killing the children of those of us who are standing against them now they're cutting down on the future work that they have to do. Because if they kill enough of us they probably think everyone will sit back and let them continue."

Pure hatred for Voldemort and his followers raised in Lily. But she couldn't respond as Owen came running over to them in a slight look of panic.

"I've just gotten word from Charlton that there's been an attack somewhere. He was rushed it sounds like its bad. Get ready for a load of people."

Lily and Tobias put their cups down and headed over to the waiting area. They only had to wait moments before people started to arrive. Lily, Tobias and Owen stood in the admin area and looked over each arrival. Then they called to a healer and told them where to take the injured party.

Lily was relieved to find that there were no major injuries. There were a few that would need to stay in but most seemed to be in shock. She shared a look with Tobias as he called a trainee named Debbie over and handed an elderly man to her.

"Lily!"

She turned ready to smile at James but found that it died on her face. He looked terrible. He was so pale that he looked like he could be a ghost, well Peeves anyway. She noted how he was shaking too. She looked back at the teenager in front of her and called Joan over to take her.

"James is everything okay?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Can it wait until after we admit these people?"

"Not really."

She gave him another look and stepped backwards away from the crowd. Owen noticed and called to her.

"Lily we haven't finished."

"Give me a moment."

Then turning to James she studied him.

"What's wrong?"

"You need to come home with me."

"I can't I'm working."

"Someone can take over."

"James we're processing the people that were involved in the Death Eater attack. I need to be here."

"Lily the attack was at Diagon Alley. You have to come with me."

There was a pleading sound to his voice. Lily though tried to ignore that as what he had said sunk in. Diagon Alley. That's where Fabian and Gideon were taking Sammie.

"What happened James?"

"Lily not here."

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

Silence fell over the room. Lily could tell that people had turned to look at her but she didn't care. She kept her eyes on James speaking to him silently. He looked reluctant and then spoke.

"About a dozen Death Eaters turned up at Diagon Alley. They went for Gideon and Fabian. Basically left everyone else alone. We have a witness that places Gideon and Fabian outside on the street duelling with them."

James' voice failed and Lily looked him square in the eyes.

"What happened to them James?"

"The witness saw nine Death Eaters corner them. They took four down but they were both injured. They fought like heroes Lily but it was two against five. They killed them."

Lily's hand went to her mouth as tears fled her eyes. James was close to tears himself as he looked at them. The silence of the room was growing with every second.

"Lily the witness says that the two of them took the Death Eaters on. The witness didn't see anybody else with them."

"What did they do with Sammie then?"

There was a note of panic in her voice. Behind her she heard a brief intake of breath but she ignored it noticing the tears now falling from James' eyes.

"I don't know Lily. Someone placed them running into Florean's place with a girl and coming out without her."

"So they put her somewhere safe and led the Death Eaters away. They kept her safe."

James nodded gently but there was something to his face that told Lily that the story didn't end there. His eyes closed a moment then he spoke the words that would haunt her forever.

"She must have followed them out. We found her Lily. She was with them and she's dead."

Sobs shock James' body as the tears flowed down his face. Lily didn't notice though. A terrifying scream left her lips and her legs gave way. As she hit the floor she screamed louder and louder.


	102. One Hundred Two

I've put this up the top because there's a lengthy authors note at the bottom. I just want to say that I think this might be the last post until after I've read DH. Mainly because I've got a hectic week which includes birthdays, graduation, shopping, working, holiday bookings and of course seeing the Harry Potter movie. So I hope you all enjoy DH and I'll update as soon as I finish the book

* * *

Chapter 102

Lily refused to look up from her seat. Remus' arm rested around her shoulder as he held her. She couldn't stop the tears flowing down her face. Her body began to shake as her sobs floated to the surface.

Opposite her she could see Sirius pacing the floor. His shiny black shoes reflecting the dull sunlight from outdoor. Then the front door slammed and she finally looked up. Peter's cheeks were red as he gave them a brief look. In his left hand he was clutching something. His eyes connected with Lily and he gave her a weak nod.

"What have they written?"

Peter though made a funny noise and couldn't speak. Sirius walked over to him and took the paper from his hand. He opened it and scowled. His eyes scanned the words and then he looked up at Lily.

"It doesn't matter."

"I want to know."

Sirius cleared his throat and slowly spoke.

"_Today sees the funeral for the youngest casualty in the Diagon Alley attack, Sammie-Lynn Potter. The one year old is the only daughter of Lily Potter formally Evans. In the child's short life she has been subject to a lot of public interest. Mostly this has been generated by her mother's loose morals."_

"_Evans claims that Sammie-Lynn (known just as Sammie) is the daughter of deceased Quidditch Star Lawrence (Larry) Matthews. This fact has been denied by the family of the Quidditch star who like us here at the Prophet believe the child to be that of Evans' now husband Auror James Potter."_

"_However all this will seem to be irrelevant in the light of recent events. The question that is being asked now is why Evans continues to show herself in public. Over the last two years most people that she has associated herself with have been found dead. Starting with her ex-fiancé Lawrence Matthews. Following him there were Caitlyn Sanders plus most of the top Quidditch players in the country. Evans' own parents Silvia and Jimmy Evans. Then a range of colleagues including Hortensia Borrell, Paul Thomas, Rio Burrows, Aled Johnson, Eddie Charlton, Carly Foster and Steve Cooper. Additionally the only other people found dead in the Attack last Tuesday were close friends of the woman Gideon and Fabian Prewett. Maybe it is time that the woman left the wizarding world for good."_

"_However speaking up for her is Headmaster of Hogwarts Albus Dumbledore. He exclusively had this to say to yours truly 'The only person that should be blamed for all these deaths is You-Know-Who (although he insisted on saying the name). The people that have been killed were those that would draw attention. The Quidditch players were a target as they were in the public eye. As for the other deaths these were people who were standing up against him, Aurors and Healers who were facing the Death Eaters on a daily basis.' That might be but their connection to Evans seems to us to be the most likely cause."_

"_Arthur Weasley the brother in law to the Prewett's claims that no ill feeling is felt towards Evans. 'They were killed because they've been fighting the Death Eaters. My wife told them numerous times that they were placing themselves in danger. But they both felt that it was worth the risk. They wanted to try and make the world safer for their family and friends. They died as heroes doing what they believed to be right. To say anyone else is to blame for their deaths is an insult to their memory.' An insult or the truth. Tomorrow your thoughts on the matter."_

Sirius fell silent and Lily could tell that he was sharing a silent conversation with Remus. His hand tightened around her shoulders. Sirius finally broke eye contact and looked at Lily.

"More Rita Skeeter rubbish. You shouldn't believe a word of it Lily."

But she just shrugged as Sirius dropped into an armchair opposite her. Peter looked around and spoke softly.

"Where's James?"

"He needed a bit of fresh air."

Peter just nodded to Sirius as he walked into the kitchen. Lily could hear him pottering around. Peter was really trying to help them. Everyone was. Peter had taken it upon himself to make sure that Lily continued to eat. She and James hadn't thought of food in days but Peter turned up like clockwork with something in his hands and forced them to eat it.

Then there was Sirius and Remus who were doing an amazing job at organising things for them. They had been dealing with everything. Sirius had organised the funeral almost single handed. Remus bless him had been dealing with Rita Skeeter. She had been snooping around for five days for some information that she could incorporate into her articles.

Then between them they had drawn up a list of things that they would do. They had spoken to the people most likely to turn up to the funeral. They had explained how Lily and James didn't feel capable of having people back after the funeral. It seemed that everyone understood and as such Sirius had organised for those that wanted to meet up afterwards to go to their place.

Lily looked at the clock and felt sick inside. Another hour and she'd be expected to be at the church.

"SIRIUS!"

Peter's screech got the man out of his seat. Lily made to get up but Remus kept his hold on her. She could hear muttering in the kitchen and then the two men came back in. Both of them had wide eyes as they looked at them. Suddenly Lily understood. She tried to get up but Remus was holding her tight.

"Let me up Remus!"

Reluctantly he released her and she stood up and walked slowly into the kitchen. Her legs gave way suddenly and it was lucky for her that Sirius was stood behind her. She felt his arms wrap around her waist as he held her there. Slowly she turned and sobbed into his chest.

The backdoor opened and she heard James swear. She didn't move though from Sirius. She felt Remus move pass her and wondered if maybe he was hugging James in a brotherly manner. Finally Peter's voice broke the spell.

"It looks so small."

Everyone in the room turned once more to look at the small white coffin that had been set on the table. It was true. Sammie had only been one coming up to two in a month's time. She was still only a baby she wasn't big. It was clear that the coffin could easily be carried by just one person, James.

On the lid was a tiny inscription that said 'Sammie-Lynn Potter' and that was all that it held. It was simple and Lily through her grief knew that Sirius had made the correct decision on this.

The church was full but Lily didn't recognise a single face. She was sure that she knew most of the people there but at the moment the only people she cared about were stationed around her. James was walking ahead of her carrying the coffin in his arms. Then Sirius and Remus were one either side of her arms wrapped around her. Peter had taken up the flank in case she fainted again, something she had done over a dozen times in just five days.

They directed her into a pew as James moved to put the coffin at the front. Lily's head automatically went to rest on Sirius' shoulder. He had become like a rock to her in the last couple of days. She suddenly appreciated what James felt for the man.

The priest stood and gave a small prayer. Then an organ started and everyone stood up. James was on the end of the pew next to Remus. Due to this Sirius wrapped his arm around Lily as they stood. Peter placed a hand gently on hers as they sang the hymn.

They slowly took their seats as the priest gave a sermon. She could hear him turning the pages in his bible as he read a quote. But she couldn't take it in. Not a single word of it. Her tears were once more covering her face as Sirius held her tightly. Then a small rustle sound came from the end of the pew as James once more took to his feet.

Lily watched through her tears as he stopped at the top. She could see from the look on his face that it was taking everything to stop his own tears falling. His jaw was set in a way that anyone who knew him well enough could see he was torn with emotion. Then slowly he began to speak.

"She Is Not Gone. Ease your grief, she is not gone. For in your heart she lingers on. Her smile, her laugh, her special way, will comfort you from day to day. You'll feel her presence in the breeze that dances gently through the trees. And it's her face that you shall see, when you're in need of company. At any time you can recall the love you shared, you saved it all. And in time, more than anything you'll find peace in remembering."

It was a simple poem that Lily had heard once or twice before. They had agreed that they wouldn't speak of their memories of Sammie in the service. Those were private memories for those that knew her. Instead they would read muggle poems. It had been decided due to the fact that Remus was sure that Rita Skeeter would be sat there writing everything they said down for the world to scrutinise.

She felt Sirius help her to her feet as she made to move. Peter and Remus walked out of the pew to let her pass. James had remained at the top and lowered his hand to her. She was so weak now that the boys wouldn't leave her alone for more than a couple of moments. Her eyes went to the coffin for a moment before she took a breath and looked at everyone.

"Let this be a loving reminder that someone is missing today. Someone our hearts still hold on to, as we travel along life's way. Someone who made life so special, for all those who gather here. Someone who won't be forgotten, but cherished from year to year. And now, as we pause to remember let us all fondly recall how dearly each of us loved her, and oh how she loved us all."

Tears were running down Lily's face so fast that everything was becoming a blur. She felt James direct her back into the pew. This time she saw next to him resting her head on his shoulder. The priest got to his feet again and spoke about how God had recalled its angel and gave another reading. Lily though couldn't take it in. Her eyes lingered on the small coffin.

Then she felt James move and looked up. His tears were falling down his cheeks as he walked back up to the front and lifted the coffin once more. Remus helped Lily up as he took her in his arms and they followed the priest out of the church. There were a series of pops as people apparated away. Remus held out a coin and Lily touched it and felt the Port Key activate.

They appeared outside of a quiet ceremony. The gates were open and people were walking towards a plot. Remus directed her and she found herself stood for the first time at the grave of her parents-in-law. James and she had talked it over and decided that they didn't want to leave her on her own. So they had gained permission to open his parent's grave and have Sammie laid with them.

James still held the coffin as the priest gave a blessing over it. Then Sammie was gently placed into the ground. Sobs shock Lily's body as they had on that day when James had turned up at the hospital. Remus held her close as she cried. She could just make out Sirius moving and hugging James as he cried too.

People silently watched their emotional goodbye to their daughter. Slowly people began to leave. Peter was among the first as he spoke to Remus and then Sirius. Then in small groups the others left the sight until Lily, James, Remus and Sirius were left stood there. The four of them were all crying just looking into the ground.

This was Voldemorts doing. He ripped families apart. In that moment Lily vowed revenge would be gained. She wouldn't let Voldemort get away with this. He would be defeated she'd make sure of that, even if it meant her own death. Then from among the tears she heard Sirius' low voice.

"A parent should never have to bury a child…"

* * *

Okay so this chapter was really hard to write. I had no idea what you say at a funeral for a young child. I haven't had much experience in that. But I remember that my cousin's mother in law read a poem at the baby's funeral.

The two poems, well I googled funeral poetry and that's what I got. I think that their both subtle and solemn. So I hope that you like and that the emotions are realistic. Again I don't know how that feels I just remember that my cousin managed to keep her composer for the most part until the graveyard. And again the idea of burying Sammie with her grandparents came from my one experience where my cousin didn't want the baby to be on her own so had her buried with her grandfather.

So please review and tell me what you think

Kris xx


	103. One Hundred Three

Okay so I finished reading DH this morning and figured that now I've finished I'd start posting again. There are obviously some big mistakes in this story thanks to the book being released and all. But I don't intend to change them, I intend to carry on as I had originally.

Chapter 103

Lily wrapped her arms around herself as she sat in the pew next to Alice. She felt her lower lip wobble as the two coffins were carried in. There was no way she could tell them apart as the men walked forward. Carrying the first one was Arthur Weasley, Sirius, Frank and Peter. Then taking the second one was James, Remus, Moody and an Auror named Oscar Lynch.

Slowly the men lowered the two coffins onto stands at the front of the church and moved to take their seats. Lily could see Arthur moving to the front and wrapping his arm around his wife, Molly. Lily had noticed that she was heavily pregnant and remembered Fabian telling her that her sixth child would be due at the end of February.

Around her were grouped a load of children. All with red hair. There were identical boys who looked around about the age of two; they had to be Fred and George. Gideon had said they were about the same age as Sammie. Then next to them was a boy of around about four or five which she guessed was Percy, the one the boys wanted to set Sammie up with. Then there were two older boys one looked around seven or eight and the other nine or ten. They were all dressed in black and sitting silently.

The priest stood at the front and Lily found herself listening to yet another sermon. Yet again she found that she couldn't focus. Maybe it was the fact that she probably knew the eulogies for funerals off by heart now. As much as she didn't want to admit it Rita Skeeter had been right she did seem to attract death.

People stood up and she felt James slip his arm around her as a hymn was started up. Then the priest spoke a bit more before stepping aside. She watched as Moody made his way to the front. She couldn't help but wonder what he would come out with. He looked at the two coffins and shook his head.

"Idiots going and getting themselves killed."

She could hear muttering at this but she understood what he meant. They had let their guard down, they all had. Everyone in the Order had become complacent. It had been four weeks since Ogden had been killed and they had felt safe. But Lily wouldn't feel safe ever again, not until the day that Voldemort was defeated anyway.

"These two men were some of the strongest duellers I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Fabian was of course an Auror in my department and Gideon a nationwide Quidditch star. But they were fighters both of them. The fact that the Death Eaters killed them shows how much danger we are all in. It also shows that the Death Eaters are cowards. Couldn't kill them in a single handed duel, no took five of them to take the boys down. Real heroes these two."

"Had a sense of humour too mind. Always ready for a laugh. They made the department that much lighter. Knew that sometimes to survive that you needed to relax. Looks like I'm going to have to appoint a new clown in the department now. So you trainees better watch out, you've got big boots to fill."

"I suppose the truth of the matter is that we're that much weaker now than before. Fabian and Gideon were good honest men. They wanted to rid the world of Voldemort and they were doing everything that they could. So here's the lesson. We need to stand even more united now and fight twice as hard to make up for the loss of these two. You'll be missed boys."

He nodded at the coffin and walked back down to his pew. Lily rested her head on James' shoulder thinking of what he said. He was right they had really lost two of their strongest fighters. She couldn't image going to a meeting and not seeing them there. Nor could she even contemplate having a get together in the house and not having them running around. No fighting between Sirius and Gideon who was going to be the new babies favourite uncle, coming up with weird and strange names. It didn't seem real.

Her mind clicked back in place as Arthur Weasley moved to the front. He held a single sheet in his hand and she could see that it was shaking. He cleared his voice once and spoke in a strong and clear tone.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there: I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gently showers of rain.

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush.

I am in the graceful rush of beautiful birds in circling flight.

I am the star shine of the night.

I am in the birds that sing; I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there; I did not die."

Lily watched silently as he made his way back to the front. The priest stood once more and said something then James was releasing her as the men headed back to the front and once more picked up the coffins. Lily stayed with Alice as the Weasley family followed them out. Alice and Lily tailed on behind them.

They waited as Molly pulled out a Port Key in front of them. She and the three youngest could easily reach it but the two older boys looked like they were having trouble. Their mother was very large and the three younger boys had taken up the rest of the space. Lily looked at Alice and spoke gently.

"Molly the boys can use our Port Key with us. We'll get them there okay."

She nodded gently and Bill and Charlie moved to touch their Port Key. They were transported to a graveyard after Alice touched her wand to it. Slowly they walked to the graveside and Lily held James' hand as yet more of their friends were laid to eternal rest.

-

Again this chapter was terrible to write because I don't want Gideon to be dead. I've fallen in love with him through writing this story. I have tried everything to keep him alive and whatnot. As for the poem in this one, well I used it due to the fact that it reminds me of Katie.

Katie was a friend I met through Harry Potter that died of bone cancer back in August 2004. She was only 16 at the time and she faced it with such dignity and strength even to the bitter end when she realised what the outcome would be. Towards the end she posted a poem that she told us represented her. And that was it. And I felt that it was appropriate for Gideon and Fabian.

So I hope that you like this chapter.

Kris xx

103

Gideon and Fabians funeral

See the Weasleys


	104. One Hundred Four

Chapter 104

Lily could hear low muttering sounds float up the stairs. She however didn't want to move. She curled herself into a tighter ball. This was getting hard what with the fact that she was now four months pregnant and her bump was beginning to show.

The voices became silent and footfalls echoed up to her. Closing her eyes tight she lay still. The creaking sound of the door broke the air and she could see soft sunlight enter the room. The footsteps came closer to her bed and she knew it was James, she could smell his scent.

"Lily?"

His voice was low and it was clear to her that he didn't want to wake her. He waited a moment and then turned around and left the room. The door closed and she rolled onto her back. She could hear him walk downstairs and then the voices sounded again.

She couldn't tell who was with him they weren't talking loud enough. But she thought it was probably Remus. Sirius had a Quidditch practice that morning and Peter was still following their Minister.

She felt a sharp kick in her stomach region and couldn't help the tiny smile. The baby had started moving around two or three days earlier. It was becoming real to her all over again that she was pregnant. However she was still too sombre to share this news with James.

It had been nearly two weeks since the attack in Diagon Alley. Lily had yet to return to work and neither had James really. She knew that he had taken part in a few battles. But that had been his choosing. He had known about them through probably Frank and needed to be out and about.

Lily had noticed early on that their ways of coping with the death had been very different. James had needed to keep busy. He was always pacing, or out in the garden walking in circles. He'd gone back to work on the sly when Lily had company.

Lily though found it difficult. She couldn't concentrate. All she wanted to do was sit and cry. But she had other things that she knew needed to be done. Her friends were trying to rally around her but she just couldn't. She had missed two meetings of the Order and didn't care.

Deep down she knew that she needed to get out there. She needed to help. Because unless they defeated Voldemort these things would continue. Yes she had lost her daughter but so had so many parents. Hadn't she witnessed the devastation of a muggle school herself.

The noise from downstairs rose slightly and then she heard a door slam. Knowing that she couldn't pretend sleep much longer she got up. Pulling on a gown over her nightwear she moved downstairs.

Remus was sat on the sofa with a book in his hand. He looked up as she entered the room.

"Morning."

She just nodded in reply and lowered herself onto the sofa next to him.

"I'll make you some breakfast."

"I don't want anything."

"James said you didn't eat much of the Sheppard's pie Pete made last night. You need to keep your strength up for that one. Breakfast."

"No Re…"

But he had already stood up and moved into the kitchen. Lily felt her heart sink slightly. They were all being so good to her but she didn't deserve it not in the least. It was a few minutes before Remus came back in with a pile of toast.

"It's nothing fancy but at least we both know I can make toast."

The tiniest of smiles appeared on her face but she wiped it quickly. Remus sat next to her as she bit into the toast. It felt foreign and wrong in her mouth. She chewed it and felt like someone had poured cement into her mouth instead. Remus was watching as she forced herself to chew it.

"Yum."

"Liar. You're finding it hard to eat aren't you?"

"Of course not."

"I did."

Lily stopped trying to make her face look like she was enjoying the food. This was the first time that Remus had mentioned the aftermath of Carly's death. It had now been seven months since that day and five since he had returned to them.

She watched him silently as he picked up a piece of toast and took a bite. His eyes were glazed and she wondered if he was remembering those weeks alone. After a moment he shook his head and looked back at Lily a small smile on his lips.

"I think I went for the first month without eating anything. I just couldn't do it. I remember picking an apple from a tree and taking a bite. I thought that it was going to stick in my throat. I chewed it for ages and couldn't take another. I kept thinking about how unfair it was that I got to taste an apple when all Carly has is … well dirt I suppose."

"She has more than dirt Remus."

He gave her a funny look.

"I've never been religious Lily and neither was Carly. I don't know if there's anything after death. So I can't say that there is, all I can say for certain is that the woman I loved is buried under about six feet of dirt."

Lily shook her head slowly.

"I know that I believe in heaven and hell. Or at least I use to. But that's not what I meant. Dimitri was telling me a couple of months ago about something he's been working on in the Mysteries. Of course he said it was just between us but he's looking into death. They have evidence that there's something after death. I just like to think that it's got to be better than here and now."

"Somewhere without the threat of Voldemort you mean."

Lily smiled nodding her head. Without noticing she took another piece of toast and started to eat it.

"I think that it's somewhere filled with the things that we like. So Eddie is somewhere watching Quidditch right now and Larry and Gideon are probably in on one of thousands of games. Sammie will be up there playing with her dolls and at the end of each day they all come together to remember the good old times."

Remus smiled gently at her.

"Sounds better than just dirt."

She nodded as she swallowed the piece of toast.

"Remus where did you go?"

His eyes closed a moment as if he was thinking long and hard.

"Away. Just here and there. I know that I should have stayed but I'm not as strong as you Lily. I couldn't face everyone looking and whispering. I needed to try and work passed the grief on my own."

"I'm not strong Re."

"Yes you are. You're stronger than you even realise. I mean look at yourself. At eleven you left everything and everybody you knew and took a gamble on a world that you never even knew existed. You were bullied and taunted by those who thought they were better than you and you never let it bother you. You just always kept going."

"Remus that's because I belong in this world. I was a freak in the muggle world. All these strange things kept happening that I couldn't explain. When McGonagall turned up and told me that there was such a thing as magic I knew I had to come it's where I belong. As for the bullying I cried lots of tears about that. I just kept the tears inside until I was alone."

"Yes but then you lost so many people and you've never run away from anything. You just kept going. When Larry died you became all determined and carried on going and the same for everyone else you lost. Like right now I would never cope as well as you are."

"I ran away Remus, I really did. I learnt a long time ago to put up a strong front but the tears and fears they haunt me at night. When Larry died I ran away from my home, I went back to the muggle world. I knew I didn't belong but I couldn't stay here. I even tried to run from James. As for the others I've hidden as a result. But Remus the only reason I've kept going is that I can be a part of the solution the people who will end this war. Because until Voldemort is destroyed nobody is safe. As for coping. I'm not coping. Haven't you seen me hide away in my room most of the day, eat hardly anything."

"You've eaten all the toast though."

She looked at the plate and back up at Remus. He was laughing with a twinkle in his eyes.

"You distracted me! I can't believe you'd do that Remus!"

"I had to make sure you ate something didn't I."

They became silent a moment and then Lily spoke softly.

"Did you get passed the worse of it on your own?"

Remus' eyes connected with Lily's as he shook his head.

"I couldn't. I didn't realise it at the time but I needed you guys more than I thought. It was only when I came back that I could start moving on. I was wrong to leave. But that's all I could think to do."

Lily leaned forward and hugged Remus tightly. He was right no matter what happened as long as she had James and the others she'd make it through. Her friends would keep her alive.


	105. One Hundred Five

Chapter 105

It only took Lily another week to feel ready to go back to the hospital. March appeared and the weather shifted but she just kept going. She found that if she stopped and thought about everything she couldn't go on.

But although being back in work allowed her to clear her mind for moments at a time her loss was never that far away. It was the looks of the staff members, the whispers as she passed. They were questioning her abilities as a mother, she was aware of that.

Maybe one of the biggest surprises came when Roger was on duty with her. She and Roger had been known in the ministry for their rocky relationship. Yet when somebody started talking to him about Sammie he blew a fuse. Lily had never seen the man yell. He had jumped to her defence in an instant and Lily couldn't be happier.

But although she was feeling better being busy it was coming with a price. Fear. Suddenly she felt very exposed to the world and she wasn't the only one. The atmosphere in the wizarding world had taken a drop after the attack in Diagon Alley. It was the first time that the Death Eaters had gone into a very public place. This seemed now to be having a knock on affect.

Lily would never admit it, especially to James but she was worried. She could just image them attacking the ministry, or the hospital. It frightened her every time she came to work. But she was determined with one thing; she wouldn't let the fear rule her. She was there to do a job and she would.

"Morning gorgeous."

"Hiya sexy."

Charlotte giggled and hugged Lily.

"You look great. I'm jealous Lily. You're what four nearly five months pregnant and you look better than me!"

It was Lily's turn to laugh as she pulled on one of Charlotte's blonde pigtails.

"But I have four handsome men looking after me. And who do you have?"

The woman blushed and mumbled something. Lily though felt her mouth drop.

"You're dating Charlton! How long?"

"A while… fine six weeks."

Lily hugged the other healer laughing. This was the only up side she found really to being back in work. Getting to be with people outside of the Order. Getting to spend time with people who knew and understood the danger but didn't let it consume them. That was one thing that Lily had noticed with the Order members. With every passing day they were losing the joy of life, they were all too busy trying to survive and take as many Death Eaters out. Sometimes they just needed to relax, which was something they had lost with Gideon and Fabian.

"So what you got planned for me today then boss!"

"I'm not the boss Charlotte. I'm just acting head. Actually we've got a quiet day today. Marie is dealing with a domestic in one of the side rooms and Ben is sorting out a two year old with a marble up his nose."

"Nothing else."

"Nope, but you can help me with paperwork if you want."

Charlotte made a face as Lily tossed a pile of papers at her. Reluctantly the two women sat down and looked through them. Lily had to go through the notes from her own ward and check that Sally-Ann, the head healer, was coping with everything. Lily had to admit she found it strange that she was in charge of a ward that she only worked on two or three times a month. But then she liked the frontline medicine so much more.

"This Rhian girl is not coming to the ministry Lily!"

Lily mumbled a reply as Charlotte picked up another sheet. Lily had fallen behind over the last couple of weeks on her duties and was thankful that Charlotte could help. She knew that Trevor had spent the week before going through applications in his spare time for her. It made her grin thinking how good her friends were to her.

"Healer Potter we have unconfirmed information that an attack is taking place in Reading."

Lily looked up at Kathy and nodded slowly.

"Set up the side rooms and call Owens down from his meeting up on the fifth floor."

She nodded and ran away. Charlotte gave Lily a funny look.

"Healer Potter?"

"It's my name."

"Does anyone here call you Lily?"

"Owens does, but he's the only one."

"So you don't have any friends here?"

"Am I suppose to?"

Charlotte grinned and patted Lily's hand.

"No wonder you always spend time with us lot when we come in. At least we know your name."

A small laugh fled Lily's lips.

"I think it's got more to do with the fact that we've all fought together. When you're out there you learn to trust those with you. I've never had that with anyone in this place."

Charlotte didn't reply as an enormous bang echoed through the halls. The two women exchanged looks as a scream pierced the air. They both knew that sound. They had seen too much not to know what was happening. Pulling their wands out they ran through the double doors and into the vast waiting area.

Masked men stood just in front of the entrance with their wands raised. A quick look sideways was all Lily spared for Charlotte. The two women then reacted to the situation. Spells whizzed passed as they began duelling with Voldemorts followers, with his Death Eaters.

A hand pulled Lily behind the counter and she dropped to the ground breathing heavily. James had a cut over his right eye but he didn't seem to notice as he raised himself up and flung a curse towards one of the attackers.

Lily tried to catch her breath. She was out of shape. It had been too long since the last time she was involved in anything like this. Plus her bump was in the way. She was too afraid to make too much contact. She looked up as a masked figure leaned over towards her. A spell left her wand without her really thinking.

His screamed fell among the shouts as he stumbled backwards into the wall. This was a nightmare; there were too many people and too many spells flying everywhere. Somebody on the floor above managed to raise the alarm to the ministry and within three minutes of Lily and Charlottes attack the Aurors had arrived.

Lily had never been happier to see James than in that moment. But she didn't stop. She was a fighter and she was determined to make the Death Eaters pay. It didn't matter anymore that she had promised James to keep out. They had come on her turf and she was going to show them.

With her breath back she stood and ran out from her cover. James was behind her she could hear him. They made it up to some stairs.

"Lily where are you going?"

"About six made it up to the next floor. Come on!"

She took the steps two at a time. A curse just missed her head as they reached the top. She flung another spell at the attacker but James' purple spell hit him first. But before he had hit the ground a strong pair of arms were around Lily.

The scream that was sitting in her throat never left as she felt something tug and the familiar feeling of being transported away…

* * *

I want to say now that I only have another four chapters of this written. I've had writers block with this story for the last three weeks. I'm working on it now and hopefully I will get a bit ahead but I'm giving you some notice that there might be less post for the next two months

Kris xx


	106. One Hundred Six

Chapter 106

Lily's head ached in the way that she was accustomed to after a heavy drinking session with Gideon. Opening her eyes slowly she thought it was a strange feeling. It was now March and she hadn't had an alcoholic drink since November. Plus she knew that Gideon was gone so even if she hadn't been pregnant she had lost her best drinking buddy.

A low grunt sounded close to her and she sat to attention. Something was pressed against her legs setting her on edge. Where was she? What had happened? The grunt sounded again accompanied by a snore. A snore that Lily would recognise anywhere. Lowering her hand she touched the object on her legs. It was hairy, very hairy and messy.

"James?"

There was no reply but Lily was very sure now that it was James. The face connected to the hair had a nose roughly the right size for James. But if James was lying next to her, or partly on her, where were they? Lily ran her hands through her hair pulling at the strands. It felt strange; it felt like her hair was tied up. But she only ever tied her hair up when she was at work…

Suddenly the events that had led her to wherever she was came flooding to her mind. The high pitched scream that belonged to Anna the receptionist. The shared look with Charlotte as their instincts kicked in making them realise that an attack was approaching. Running out into the lobby and having a pink spell skid pass her head. Her and Charlotte trying to hold the Death Eaters off as people ran for cover. The relief that was short lived when the Aurors turned up.

But how had she gotten to wherever she was? Her mind was in pieces. The last thing she remembered was running up the stairs after Death Eaters. James had been with her and a spell just missed them. James had sent a purple one and then, then someone had grabbed her and a port key had activated.

Shit.

Her stomach knotted as James gave yet another snore. How the hell could he sleeps when they were who knew where? She suddenly felt sick thinking about where she was likely to be. The last time she had been captured it had been with Alice and a woman had died. She had been lucky to escape. In fact she had been lucky to escape on the two occasions she had come face to face with Voldemort. What if third time wasn't lucky?

She was under no elusion that she wasn't going to face Voldemort. Although she was unaware of where she was she could feel it in the air. She could feel the evil and the cold. This was somewhere evil, somewhere that Voldemort was using.

A scrapping sound came from the other side of the door. Something inside Lily was screaming. She could feel the presence of the creatures on the other side without having to see them. Her blood was turning cold and her vision clouding over. She could see James standing in the hospital lobby telling her Sammie was dead. She could hear the tears in his voice as she screamed hitting the floor in tears.

A cold grip took her arm but she couldn't see it. She was now seeing the coffin. How very small it was. Remus was holding her as she cried into his chest. Her feet scrapped the floor and she was being pulled upwards. But now she was seeing the ground. The coffin was being lowered in and she was leaning on James as more tear fled her eyes.

"Lily Potter. We meet again."

The grip left her arm and she hit the ground as slowly the feeling of complete depression was lifted. But instead she found herself at the feet of Voldemort. Her stomach knotted again but she refused to let on. Inside she climbed to her feet and stared the monster straight in the eyes.

"Where am I?"

"Why you are a guest. Take a seat."

Her memory of her last experience with this man lingered. She remembered being bound to a chair and terrible pain running through her body. She was determined not to give him that opportunity again.

"Why am I here?"

Voldemort surveyed her for a moment than spoke.

"I have a proposition for you. I need somebody close to Dumbledore who he trusts and respects to pass information to him. I know that you have been watching some of my lower followers and that you will be able to give him the information that I want."

"You want me to mislead him so that you will be able to cause more damage."

"You are as smart as I have been informed."

"Go to hell."

"Ah but hell is reserved for muggles and mudbloods."

There was a humorous laugh in his voice as he picked up a glass and took a sip. The brown liquid passed through his lips and out of Lily's sight. Trying not to catch his attention she lowered her hand to the place she stored her wand.

"It has been removed Lily. Now about my proposition?"

"Go to hell."

"I thought you might try to refuse me. Bring him in."

The door opened and a Dementer entered pulling James along. Lily tried to make her face natural but it was difficult. Voldemort was watching her closely.

"Love is a weakness Lily. It allows those of us above such things to have something to hold over you."

"Lily whatever he wants don't do it."

"Silence!"

James fell to the floor and Lily recognised the Cruciatus Curse. But she closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to witness it.

"You will help me Lily."

"No."

"You think you can withstand me?"

"I think you'll kill me but I don't care. I'd rather be dead than do anything to help you."

"You would choose death?"

"If it meant others would have more time to come up with a way to destroy you. Yes. I would choose death for the greater good."

Pain shot through Lily but she didn't care. It meant that she had hit a nerve with Voldemort. The pain continued to pound into her and then everything went black…

"Lily?"

The voice sounded far away.

"Lily?"

It was coming closer. Why was the voice coming closer?

"Lily?"

Her eyes opened as the voice sounded into her ear. She blinked into the darkness feeling that it was pointless to open her eyes anyway.

"Lily?"

"James?"

"Thank Merlin. I thought he had killed you at first."

"What happened?"

"Voldemort kept you under the curse for nearly a minute. You passed out and he got the Dementers to bring us back here."

"He wants me to pass false information on to Dumbledore."

"No Lily that's what he wanted. Now he wants you dead. He told his followers to leave us down here for a few days without food or drink then when we are weak he'll ask us again. Then we're dead."

"We can't do it James."

"I know."

He hugged her and she let her head fall to his shoulder. She was unaware of how long they stayed like that, but he didn't let go until he had fallen asleep.

"Lily?"

Why was she being woken up? Opening her eyes she blinked at the sudden light. Where had the light come from? Did that mean that it was now morning? Her stomach growled. She was starving. She was sure it had been days since she had last eaten.

"James just pick her up. We need to get out of here."

Lily knew that voice, it sounded almost like…

"Sirius?"

The man turned a look of relief on his face. But his body stood tense. He signalled them out of the cell and moved towards the stairs. Peter was stood at the bottom of them looking very nervous. Something about him was out, but Lily couldn't figure it out.

"Come on Sirius. We need to be quick."

"Where's my wand?"

"Couldn't get it Prongs. You'll have to buy a new one."

Lily felt sick at the thought of trying to escape without her wand. But she didn't have time to think as James pushed her in front of him up the stairs. She was surprised that they were allowing her up in front when she didn't have a wand.

As she reached the top she was met with a surprise. Remus and Frank were flanking each side of the doorway. They both turned and gave her a small smile. She was surprised when Frank pulled something out of his pocket.

"Put this on."

It was an invisibility cloak. She did as instructed and watched as another was one was handed over to James. She wasn't that surprised when Sirius pushed his way under the same one as James while Peter came under her one. Frank and Remus each shared a cloak and then they made their way out.

Her stomach was knotted as Peter directed her along a corridor. She felt sick worrying about if they got caught. Last time someone had died and she didn't want to see that happen again. Plus she felt exposed without her wand.

In what felt like a life time the door in front opened. The smell of fresh air hit her nose. Peter helped her down the steps and slowly they walked along the grass. Two Death Eaters were stood close to the edge of some wall. Carefully trying not to make a sound they edged passed them.

"Apparate Lily."

"What?"

"Do it!"

Lily closed her eyes and thought of her house. Then with a tiny spin she felt the world shift and she was heading home. She was getting away once more, for her third time from Voldemort.


	107. One Hundred Seven

Chapter 107

The weeks that followed the escape from Voldemort were marked by disappearances and deaths. Lily felt afraid to leave the house in case there was a Death Eater lying in wait for her. She knew that it was stupid and that she shouldn't live with fear. Yet after everything that had happened she couldn't help it.

The truth was that she was feeling slow. Her reflexes weren't what they had been. She hadn't had a proper duel in ages and her bump was growing at an alarming rate that made it hard for her to move. She was suddenly feeling like a pregnant woman.

March had slipped away and April had shown itself. The weather had taken a small twist and the heavy North Winds were slipping away. Showers of rainfall hammered the ground and Lily was sure that it would produce her some wonderful flowers for summer. But nobody else seemed to be thinking of her garden.

No the guys seemed to be watching her for some sort of sign. She wasn't as stupid as they seemed to think that she was. Remus would turn up around midmorning, every midmorning in time for lunch. Apparently Sirius was eating all the food in their fridge. She didn't buy that. He was watching her.

Then sometimes Sirius would turn up and she'd be stuck with him all afternoon. He always found it necessary to pull out the chess board and beat Lily. Sirius loved beating people at things, Quidditch, chess, cards, drinking it never mattered.

The worse day that Lily had encountered though had been the twelfth of the month. Everyone had been waiting for it with baited breath and when it appeared nobody was able to smile. Lily had sat in the armchair refusing to move for anything other than toilet breaks. It had been difficult for her as she had wanted to be left alone to her grief. Yet Sirius and Remus had turned up and spent most of the day sat in her living room.

Sirius had left early in the afternoon though to join James in the graveyard. Lily though couldn't bring herself to go and stand by her daughter's grave on that day. What a way to celebrate a baby's second birthday. Although she had wanted to be alone she had to admit that it was nice having Remus there. He didn't say a word just sat there lost in his own thoughts. Yes a silent friend had been just what she had needed on that day.

But thankfully the day passed and everyone else seemed to be getting on with things. However there was one more thing that Lily had to consider and that was her position within the hospital. She just didn't feel like she could be there again until after the baby was born, if at all. So she had written in to them and explained the situation. Then she had taken early leave. This had one downside; she no longer had a reason to leave the house.

That brought her right back to where she had started. With no reason to leave the house for work she was worried that the Death Eaters might stalk her. The Lindwer family had been killed in their home only three weeks earlier. Why not her?

"Lily?"

She jumped at the voice and looked around.

"Lily let me in!"

With great effort she pushed herself up from the chair and waddled into the kitchen. Alice was stood in the fireplace smiling gently at her.

"Alice come in."

"Hope you don't mind me turning up like this. It's just I'm bored sat in that house on my own."

"Too pregnant to work now then?"

"Too pregnant to do field work. Crouch keeps piling me with paperwork. I swear if I see another form asking to arrest that idiot Mundungus Fletcher I'm going to track him down and turn him into a slug!"

"Why do they want to arrest Dung? I mean I know he's a petty crock but I would have thought that they have more important people to arrest."

"He keeps impersonating Inferi."

Lily laughed nervously scratching her head.

"Why would he do that? He's an Order member. He should know better. Maybe somebody should tell Albus and he can have a word."

"Moody was planning on telling Albus about it. Apparently Dung told Frank that he uses it to get into people's homes and get things that he needs. But I heard it backfired on him last night. He tried it on old Slughorn thinking that he could get his hands on some nice goods that way. Only Slughorn set a ring of fire on him. Last I heard he's in St. Mungos getting treated for burns!"

Lily really laughed this time.

"Serves him right. Maybe now he'll learn his lesson."

Alice and Lily shared a look and together shaking their heads they said one word.

"Nah."

Lily pointed her wand at the kettle and brought it to a boil as Alice lowered herself into a seat. It took a few moments but Lily had tea and cakes on the table for them to share.

"Has the morning sickness passed yet Lily?"

"Three days without it, so fingers crossed. You?"

"I think so. But then I was sick again this morning. Mind Frank did cook chicken last night and I told him it smelt funny, so maybe it was that."

Alice laughed taking a sip of her tea.

"We can't decide on names you know."

"We haven't even thought about it."

"Well all we seem to do is fight. I mean if I like a name Frank wriggles his nose and says 'that's not quite right though dear maybe … will be better!' I'm sick of it Lily."

Lily took a small sip of tea and looked at the woman.

"Well what names have you come up with?"

"Well I like Wendy for a girl. Wendy Longbottom. But Frank keeps saying we should call a girl Summer. I mean Summer is a season not a name! And then for a boy I want Barney but Frank wants Neville. I swear we're not going to agree on this."

Lily hid a smile as she picked up a cake.

"What about if you come up with a compromise? What if say you get to name a girl and Frank a boy, or the other way round maybe. Then you pick five names each and see which one you like best. That way you only have to come up with either girls names or boys."

"Is that what you and James are going to do?"

"Maybe. Although we'll probably have Sirius making suggestions, or even Remus and Peter. Merlin knows what's going to happen."

"Have you got any ideas though Lily?"

"Well I was thinking that maybe Jasmine or Isabelle for a girl. Then I like Jonathon or Michael for a boy. But who knows what James has planned."

Alice smiled gently.

"Isabelle Potter sounds good."

Lily nodded gently.

"Sounds much better than Bobby Potter."

"Bobby? Why Bobby?"

"Sirius seems to think that Bobby is going to be the best name for the baby. He keeps telling me that it can be Bobby with a y for a boy or Bobbi with an i for a girl. I am not calling my baby Bobby Potter."

Alice laughed as she put her cup down.

"I can just see it now. Me and Frank will be calling the baby by different names. I'll be calling her Wendy and he'll be calling her Summer, really confuse the baby. Then you and James will be calling the baby Isabelle and Sirius will be there shouting Bobbi!"

"You think you're having a girl?"

Alice gave a tiny smile and shrugged.

"I don't know, it's strange but I think I want a girl. But I'd be happy with a boy as long as the baby is healthy. It's just you know how you name the bump, and you say 'he's kicking' or 'he won't stop moving' well Frank and I both keep saying she."

"I keep getting 'baby Potter is on the move' or 'baby Potter kicks the Quaffle clear of the goals' there's no indication of a sex, just that the baby will play Quidditch."

The two women smiled looking out of the window as the rain belted against the pain.

"Have you bought any baby stuff yet Lily?"

"I figured that we'd just re-use some of Sammie's things. I've still got her old crib up in the attic. James said he'll give it a good going over and that we can use that for the baby. Then I've got all those Quidditch clothes that the baby can wear."

"Do you think it'll be strange?"

"What?"

"Seeing the new baby in Sammie's old things?"

Lily nodded as she rested her arms of the table.

"It's going to be difficult, especially having another baby in the house. But Peter keeps telling me that life goes on. That we can't stand still and pretend that it isn't happening. So Sammie is gone and it's the worst feeling in the world but this baby is coming whether I'm ready or not. So I'll love it as much as I loved Sammie and we'll tell it all about its big sister when it's old enough."

"You know Lily I'm scared for my baby already. I keep thinking that the Death Eaters will come after us and kill the baby like they did Sammie."

The red head nodded slightly looking into her empty cup.

"I keep having a nightmare very much like that. But Alice there's one thing I'm certain of. If Voldemort thinks he's going to kill another one of my children he'll have to go through me first. I'll die to save my children."

Alice nodded and in a strong voice replied.

"Me too."


	108. One Hundred Eight

Chapter 108

April seemed to disappear without Lily noticing as the days got longer and the nights that little shorter. Her pregnancy was progressing and she had discovered a love for marmite with jam on a plain piece of brown bread. It was something that James found fascinatingly funny.

After her conversation with Alice she had decided that they should talk about baby names. Just as it had with Alice and Frank an argument broke out. It got so bad that in the end she had yelled that they might as well go with Sirius and name the baby Bobby. Since then the topic of baby names had remained off topic.

But something else was happening. Alice was becoming a source of relief for Lily. They had been close for a long time, ever since she had joined the Order in fact. Yet the pregnancy was bringing them closer still. They now had something else in common. They were both stuck with men in their lives who had decided that work was too dangerous for them.

With Sirius' almost daily visits now on top of Remus' Lily was finding relief in escaping to Alice's in the afternoon. They had gone out and about on a number of occasions to buy baby clothes, or a cot or anything to get them out of the house. Lily had to admit that she was enjoying the time she got to spend with Alice.

That was why she didn't think twice about heading over there on that fateful Tuesday. Sirius was suppose to be popping round at two so by one thirty Lily headed into the fireplace and headed to Alice's. She knew instantly that something was wrong. It was the fact that the fireplace didn't bar her entrance. Alice and Frank had ensured the same safe guards that they themselves had.

"Alice? Frank?"

She knew that Frank was suppose to be there. He had taken the day off because they were going to the hospital for a check up. Alice had told her that she should pop round about one thirty and she would fill her in on all the news. But there was no answer.

Lily felt her heart jump to her throat when she saw the mess. The furniture had been thrown around the room. Everything was in a jumble. It was actually a sure sign that an attack had taken place there. Pulling out her wand she walked slowly up the stairs. But it was as ransacked as the rest of the house.

Knowing that it was empty Lily ran back down the stairs and opened the front door peering outside. As she had feared above the house stood the mark. The evil mark of Voldemort and his followers. Without hesitation Lily was back in the kitchen with floo powder in hand.

The familiar sensation of spinning hit her senses as she made her way to the Ministry. She didn't think of stopping at the security desk to hand her wand over for weighing. She was straight to the lifts hitting the button for up. It felt like an eternity as the lift climbed the floors. Then the grate opened and Lily was running.

"HELP! HELP THERE'S BEEN AN ATTACK!"

Everyone turned to look at her as she ran into the cubicles of the Aurors. James was instantly on his feet running towards her.

"Lily what happened? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. It's Frank and Alice!"

Moody had made his way over now and looked at her.

"What's happened?"

"I'm not a hundred percent sure Sir but there's been an attack. I just went over to Alice's too see how the check went in the hospital. The fireplace didn't stall me though. I was granted access straight into the house. It's been ransacked Sir. And I opened the front door; the mark is over the house."

She heard Moody swear as he sent people to check it out. James hugged her as he led her out of the offices. She was down the lift and in the Atrium without noticing. Sirius was sat in their kitchen eating Sheppard's pie.

"Lily there you are. I wondered where you'd gotten to."

"Get her to Hogwarts Sirius. Tell Albus that Frank and Alice have been taken. I want Lily safe."

Sirius had griped her arm and was outside the Hogs Head before she realised it. He frog marched her to the gates of Hogwarts where he set off his patronus. Junior ran through the grounds and in moments it seemed that Hagrid appeared. Lily didn't notice any of this and wasn't even really aware that she was in Hogwarts until she found herself sitting across from the headmaster.

She stayed in the room for the afternoon with Sirius. Then at eleven that night after all the students were in their common rooms a meeting took place in the Great Hall. Lily sat between Sirius and James as they began to discuss what had happened.

It became clear quickly that they had been taken prisoner. They were known to be members of the Order and well respected members of the Wizarding community. Albus seemed to believe that Voldemort had taken them for the same reason that Lily and James had been taken weeks before.

"We need to rescue them as quickly as possible. Now I want to send everyone but there is a bigger concern. I believe that this is likely to be a trap. I have received information that Voldemort knows that a large group rescued the Potters. This means that this job is going to be a one man job. I need a volunteer for someone to sneak in and try to rescue the Longbottoms."

Lily knew that most people would want to go. Frank and Alice were after all well liked in the Order. But before it was even said she knew that James would be the one to go.

"Frank rescued me and he's had my back at the Ministry more times than I can count. I'm going."

Lily just sat there looking ahead. She didn't know what to think or do. Once again she felt just like a fat pregnant woman. A pregnant woman who was unable to do anything to help. No matter what she wanted.


	109. One Hundred Nine

Chapter 109

James had left straight after the Order meeting. He had asked if Lily could stay at Hogwarts for the night and Albus had inclined to agree. Lily however needed to be home. She couldn't stay there. So Sirius had kindly agreed to go with her.

They sat on the sofa in silence watching the hand on the clock slowly change positions. It was going to be a very long night Lily knew that better than anything. But she couldn't move. She needed to sit there. She needed to wait to hear something, anything from James.

"You hungry?"

She turned to look at Sirius. He put his bottle of butterbeer down and pointed to the kitchen.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No Sirius I'm fine."

"You sure. I can make something."

"I'm not hungry."

He gave a shrug as he pushed himself up off the sofa. Lily watched him walk into the kitchen before turning her attention back to the clock. It was two thirty in the morning. The meeting had started at eleven and lasted an hour and a half. So that had been twelve thirty. James had hung around for half hour trying to get her settled into Hogwarts and reassure her that things would be fine. So that meant he finally left at around about one. So an hour and a half had passed.

Her mind told her that he would likely be close now to the location that they suspected. One of Dumbledore's sources had given him information about where Frank and Alice were being kept. She was worried though. There was still talk of a traitor among the Order. What if the traitor had been present at their meeting? What if the traitor was selling James out to Voldemort now?

"Shit!"

Sirius' words carried into the living room and Lily pushed herself from the sofa and waddled to the doorway. Sirius was stood with a pan in the fireplace. The contents of the pan though smelt burned and he was trying to get it out of the fire. He seemed to have forgotten about magic as he grabbed it with his hand.

Lily with a wave of her wand brought the pan out and had a cooling charm on it as she place it on the table. Inside were beans that had turned black. Sirius gave a pathetic look at her.

"Guess I'm no Peter. Can't even cook beans on toast without making a mess."

"It's a good thing you're handsome Sirius."

"Oh and why's that?"

"No woman will ever care that you can't cook. She'll be too busy wanting to look after you."

"Either that or Peter will!"

Sirius barked a small laugh as he waved his wand making the beans disappear.

"Let me look at your hand."

"It's fine."

Lily though had Sirius' hand in hers before he could protest anymore. There was a small burn forming on his palm. Closing her eyes she moved her wand in a tricky manner concentrating on the words to the spell. She was lucky that she had always been great at the silent charms.

"Thanks Lily."

She opened her eyes to see that the burn was fading away.

"It'll be gone by morning Sirius."

"Thanks."

He gave a small yawn and Lily couldn't help but smile gently.

"You should go home and get some sleep."

"No I'm staying here with you."

"Sirius."

"This isn't a discussion Lily."

She nodded heading back to the living room and sitting back on the sofa. It was now quarter to three. Her stomach made a jump but then she realised that 'Baby Potter' was once more on the move. This kid was active that much was sure.

Sirius sat back next to her and silently they watched the clock once more. It wasn't long before she could make out the soft intake of breath that signalled that Sirius had fallen asleep. Lily though continued to watch the clock. Three o'clock, quarter passed, half passed. Somewhere though she slipped into dreams…

_Lily was walking passed a load of closed doors. She knew where she was heading, she was going home. It had been a tough day of work and she was tried. She was really looking forward to a deep bubble bath and a glass of chilled white wine._

_She reached the door to her apartment and fumbled with the key. It took her a moment to get it into the lock. She swung the door open and a scream caught in her throat. Standing there looking down on her was Voldemort. His eyes were red hinted with malice as his pale skin stood out against the black of his clothes._

_A spell left his wand and Lily fell to the ground in pain. She bit her mouth trying not to scream out but she knew a muffled scream had broken through. The pain suddenly stopped as quickly as it had begun._

"_So you're the Mudblood filth that I've been told about."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_Ignorance doesn't look good on you girl."_

_Lily knew who it was though. Why was she asking him who he was? It was Voldemort she had met him three times in her life. Something else though caught her attention. There was somebody moving behind him. But she couldn't make out who it was._

"_I'm sorry but I don't know who you are?"_

"_I'm disappointed my followers told me that you were smart."_

"_Voldemort."_

_Finally she was able to speak his name. Her mind though wanted to know why it took so long for her to say it. Why had she thought that she didn't know this creature?_

"_That's the Dark Lord to you."_

"_I'm not afraid of you."_

"_Liar! But you don't need to fear me I have an offer for you. I need a spy somebody that is close to the Aurors, to Alastor Moody and could get even closer to Dumbledore and that's where you come in. Be my spy and I will let you live, if not I shall have to kill you."_

"_Then kill me, I'll never help you."_

_She gritted her teeth and clutched her hands together she didn't care if this was it the end then so be it. She would rather die than help him get what he wanted._

"_I thought you'd say that, but I know what will make you comply."_

_He turned slightly and as he did Lily tried to drag herself out of the flat to apparate away. But she hadn't gotten far when pain shot through her body again. She could feel herself scream but didn't realise that she had done it._

_The pain lifted and she looked back and screamed again but this time she knew that she had done it. She couldn't help but scream as she looked into James' panicked eyes._

"_Now now Lily we don't want you escaping away just yet we haven't finished our conversation. Now you're going to be my spy or I shall kill this pathetic excuse for a man."_

_Tears were in her eyes as she looked at James and she nodded slowly._

"_If I help you, you'll let him live that's a promise."_

"_Of course my followers help me and I in turn help them. So you'll do it for me then."_

_She was about to nod when she saw James shake his head his eyes were wide and she was staring into them like she had been doing for over a year. She knew him as well as she knew herself knew that he didn't want her to do this, that he wanted her to leave him there._

"_James no, no I'm not going to do that."_

_Voldemort looked from her down to him and hit him hard with a spell she watched as he crumpled to the ground._

"_JAMES!"_

"_NOW ANSWER ME MUDBLOOD."_

"_JAMES!"_

_Lily knew that this wasn't real. Something told her that it was going to be fine. She felt somebody touch her arm and she screamed James' name again. Voldemort's eyes flared as the tugging became stronger. She watched as his wand raised again._

"_Avada Kavada."_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Lily, its okay. Lily open your eyes."

Tears floated down her cheeks as Sirius hugged her tightly. She tried to regulate her breathing but it was coming in gulps as she felt herself shake.

"Shh. It's alright Lily it was just a dream."

"No. It was horrible Sirius."

The man patted her hair pulling back a little to look at her face.

"Tell me about it."

"It was that night. The night that Larry died. Only things were different. Voldemort wasn't killing Larry, he was killing James."

Fresh tears ran down her face as Sirius continued to hold her. It was just a dream, it wasn't real. She was willing herself to believe it. But knowing that James was out there facing Voldemort and his Death Eaters to try and save their friends wasn't reassuring.

"Sirius what if James is killed."

"He won't be. I promise you James will be fine."

Something in Sirius' voice made her believe him. He spoke so gently but with such authority that she couldn't help but believe that he was right.

* * *

I just want to say that I've got over 1000 reviews for this story. So thank you to everyone who has reviewed. There will be **TWO **chapters posted now next Thursday and nothing until then. Enjoy

Kris xx


	110. One Hundred Ten

Chapter 110

"Okay so I asked you to come here because I've received some information."

Lily looked at her old headmaster with fear in her stomach. It had been twelve hours since James had set off to try and rescue Alice and Frank and still they hadn't heard any information.

"What's happened Albee"

The old man smiled gently at Sirius. The Quidditch star though took Lily's hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb in a reassuring manner. Albus steepled his fingers and looked at Lily.

"I've got a source within the ranks of Voldemort who contacted me this morning. Apparently in the very early hours there was a commotion within the walls of one of Voldemorts safe houses."

"What?"

Lily turned slightly to see Remus squinting. He looked puzzled. It was obvious to them all that there would be a commotion when James went in to try and rescue the other two. The old man nodded his head slightly.

"Remus you must remember that this source had no idea that James was going to try and rescue Frank and Alice. Now what I was told was that Voldemort was present at that location. He had arrived in order to torture his captives for information."

Lily made an audible noise remembering the torture. She could remember being with Alice when he had tried to get information from them the first time. Then only weeks earlier with James. It seemed to her mind that Voldemort enjoyed tormenting expecting mothers.

"Yes but I have heard that not much happened. You see when the Death Eaters released them from their cell to take to Voldemort James must have attacked. My source has told me that the wands had vanished by the time that the alarm was raised. I believe that James must have taken his cloak with him."

"He did. When he and Sirius were trying to settle Lily in here I popped back to the house and picked it up for him."

"A good idea Remus. Well it seems that between Frank and James they managed to get Alice out of the building and out of the grounds."

Lily released the breath she had been holding. Sirius though had stiffened somewhat in the chair next to her.

"Albus if they've escaped how come they're not back here?"

"Ahh I don't know."

"WHAT?"

To Lily's own horror tears began to escape from her eyes. She wiped at them trying to beg them to remain inside but she couldn't. Remus reached across with a hanky and she dabbed at her eyes looking towards the headmaster.

"Now Lily don't get upset. James is a smart man. It is my belief that they are probably hiding somewhere. After all Alice is as pregnant as you are and from your own experiences you realise how easy it is to tire. My guess is that they needed to stop for her to rest and once she has the energy they'll be straight back."

"But what if they've been caught."

"I'm sure that isn't the case Lily."

Sirius' voice was as soft as it had been during the night when he had comforted her from her nightmare. The authority in it rang loudly and she tried to control her tears. The small squeeze he gave her hand helped that somewhat. Remus though sounded muffled as he asked another question.

"I don't understand why they didn't apparate straight away."

Lily looked at Remus as Albus seemed to close his eyes to think.

"It's too dangerous."

"What?"

Remus' eyes were on her as she continued to talk.

"She's two weeks further in her pregnancy than I am and I've been advised not to apparate anymore from well the next couple of days. When you hit twenty six weeks it becomes too dangerous. There's an increased chance of splinching and there's even a chance of leaving part of the baby behind. So pregnant women aren't allowed to perform such magic unless it's a life or death situation. And even then it's the woman's choice."

"So Alice can't apparate?"

Lily turned her head to Sirius nodding at him. The man though looked quizzical for a moment.

"Did James know this?"

"Well I hope so; unless he was too busy eyeing the healer that told us!"

Sirius gave a tiny bark of laughter as Lily felt tears come back to her eyes.

"Damn Hormones."

Albus gave a small chuckle this time as he looked at the three sat in front of his desk.

"I think we have to consider this good news. We know that James managed to get into the complex and get Frank and Alice out. There have been complications but unless we hear otherwise we're going to assume that they are currently making their way by foot to a safe location."

Lily nodded as Remus and Sirius stood up. Something about the tone in the Headmasters voice told them that the meeting was over with. Lily with Remus' help got to her feet and they headed down into the main schooling area. As they reached the doors into the grounds Lily looked at Sirius.

"Do you have any idea where Peter is? He said he'd be at that meeting."

"Said something about an informant mumbled about his beef stew and left."

He shrugged as he pulled up the sleeve of his shirt.

"Listen Lily I've got practice in ten minutes. I can't be late. So Remus said he'll go home with you and wait for news."

Sirius kissed Lily's cheek and shared a look with Remus. Lily though had her mind on other things. The baby was moving again and she felt the tiny foot connect with her bladder. Yes this child was the best distraction that had ever been created.


	111. One Hundred Eleven

Chapter 111

A lunge came from her stomach followed by a low growl. Lily tried to ignore the sound. But moments later it came again. She was hungry. She was sick of being hungry though. All this baby seemed to want was food and to make her use the bathroom. She couldn't remember Sammie being this demanding. But then her mind told her Sammie hadn't been a Potter. No this child was already nagging her.

A muffled snorting snore broke her thoughts and she tried to move off her back. This however was difficult. She couldn't help but wonder how she had even gotten onto her back. It was one of the most uncomfortable positions for a pregnant woman to sleep in. She usually slept lying on the left side of her body. She struggled silently for a moment and then was met by a surprise. Another snore sounded, only from the other side.

Her heartbeat increased as she struggled harder. Finally she spun onto the right side of her body and came face to face with Sirius. His eyes were closed and he was obviously asleep. He gave another snort before smacking his lips together in the way he did after he had enjoyed his meal. He made a grumbling noise and then silence.

Lily had to fight back a small giggle. She had forgotten that Sirius was there. He had after all come and sat with her as she was going to sleep the night before. She had felt terrible and her fear for James was increasing with everyday. It had been three days since she had met with Albus and there was still no news of him.

Another snore sounded from behind her and using her arms much easier she turned to look. The giggle did fall from her lips this time as she took in the figure of Remus. His knees were bent so that his legs were tucked up under his chin. He looked like a small child when he slept. He snored again as he slowly turned over in his sleep so that his back now faced her.

She had to wonder what Remus was doing in the bed. Sirius had been the one to come up to bed with her. But then she wondered if she had had another nightmare. Over the last couple of nights she had awoken with the memory of Larry's death shifting to become James' in her sleeping hours. It was one of the scariest things that she had ever experienced. Maybe Remus had heard her and had come up to check on her, since Sirius had obviously fallen asleep.

Lily's stomach gave another low growl and she knew that she had to get up. As she tried to move though she heard a strange noise. It sounded like a muffled snort. However it hadn't come from either of the sleeping men in her bed. She stiffened cursing herself for not having a wand close at hand. Slowly she managed to push herself up and as she did she caught movement from the corner of her eye.

Unable to contain it she screamed. She screamed as if death itself had come to shake her hand. From either side of her the two men sat straight up. They blinked pulling their wands into their hands. As they fired spells at the figure her senses came back and she realised too late who it was. She gave a small scream as the figure deflected the two spells still laughing as he did so.

"You're lucky I'm not a jealous man!"

Lily gave a small smile as James grinned widely at them. Suddenly she couldn't help but laugh as she looked to her sides. She was in bed with Remus and Sirius! If James had been anyone else there would be a massive fight. Most men wouldn't take kindly to finding their wife in bed with his best friends.

Another snort sounded as Sirius tried to hold back laughter. It was only moments until the four friends were laughing so hard that Lily was finding it difficult to draw breath. Finally they calmed down and James moving over to the bed helped her up. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as if she would never get to hold him again.

Minutes later they were all in the kitchen. A load of bread was put in the grill to toast and James managed to heat up some beans without burning them. Watching him doing that made her laugh. Sirius caught her eye and the two were lost in tears again. The other two men watched in silent amusement not understanding what was so funny.

It took them another ten minutes to calm down enough to drink their tea and eat breakfast. Lily sat with James on her right. Every now and again she lowered her fork and took his hand as though to reassure herself that he was still there. He waited for them all to finish breakfast before he told them about what had happened.

"I got in no problem. I even found the room where their wands had been taken. I was under my cloak and the Death Eaters didn't even consider the possibility that there might have been somebody there. I followed one down to this room. He kept looking behind him as though he knew that I was there and there was something about him…"

"What do you mean Prongs?"

"I don't know Padfoot. There was just something familiar about him. I'm sure that I know that Death Eater. I bet it was someone we were at school with. Anyway he led me right down to where Frank and Alice were being kept. He made a funny noise and then he was running back up to the main floor."

"Well he had only dropped the keys hadn't he? So I picked them up and opened the door. I got Frank up no problem but Alice was much harder. We finally got her on her feet and I had to take the cloak off. We got her up the stairs and out into the grounds. Only thing was we were spotted."

"We jumped behind some bushes and I covered Alice with the cloak. I told her to make her way to the gate and we'd meet her there. That stupid Death Eater was guarding it and I'm sure he wasn't paying attention, Alice slipped right pass him. Frank and I though we set about around the grounds. We had them chase us and everything. Voldemort himself even came out. But Frank and I stunned the Death Eater at the gates and ran."

"Alice was just down the road but we had to make it look like we were going far away. So Frank and I apparated half a mile down the road. Then we waited for about an hour and finally Alice appeared. Apparently she was finding it hard to walk."

James shook his head slowly taking a sip of tea.

"We couldn't travel very fast; we had to keep taking breaks for Alice. Frank and I wanted to apparate but she refused to because of the baby. It took us two and a half days to get to Frank's mums. We took the floo network up to Hogwarts. Pomfrey is giving Alice the once over and I decided to come back here. Albus told me you'd been worried. He however seemed to forget to warn me about the fact the three of you might be in bed together!"

They all smiled and pretended that it was funny. However Lily for one was thinking of the dangers. It was worse than she had ever imagined it. She was scared and she needed to know the truth. She needed to contact an old friend that she had long left in her past. She needed to know truly how much danger she and her family were going to be in.

* * *

Okay so I'm really sorry but I'm heading to New Zealand in the morning. And so this is the last post until … September 24th! I know that is a really long time away since it's only August 30th but I promise you that you won't be disappointed when I come back.

The reason that I can say that is that the story is now changing. This is the first chapter I wrote for this story after reading DH. So some of the information that we found out is now being added to this story, for instance the old friend (HINT HINT)

Also the fact that you got two posts instead of one isn't because I wanted to give you two chapters. I thought that certain people might string me up if I left you all with a cliffy of some kind. So I've sorted out Alice, Frank and James before I go. Aren't I nice to you all?

I'm going to answer one question now because no doubt I will be plagued by it and there will be no way for me to contact you in the next three weeks. The Death Eater that James mentions is Peter.

As for that Peter knew that James was going to be there. He had been at the meeting where James had volunteered to go and rescue Alice and Frank. As for knowing about James following him, he used the Cloak so often in school that he is aware of how it feels (I know there's no hint of that in the book but I'm adding it on) so he was aware that he was being followed.

He dropped the keys on purpose. Because while he is serving Voldemort he is still a spy. He figured that the longer that James is there the bigger the chance of him being spotted. So he dropped the keys and ran back upstairs hoping that James wouldn't realise it was him.

He was also the one at the gate. Again he let Alice slip past him hoping that she wouldn't realise that it was him. Then he didn't fight back when Frank and James came towards him and let them stun him. Voldemort was of course very mad with him and he was punished… but Voldemort accepted that he wasn't recognised so Peter is still an asset to him and so didn't kill him.

So I hope that answered the question before you even ask it. So enjoy the two chapters and keep safe. I'll update as soon as I can after I get back.

Kris xx


	112. One Hundred Twelve

This chapter is going to be slightly different from most of the other chapters. This one is going to be from Dumbledore's pov. The reason for this will become clear as you read.

Chapter 112

Albus pushed the door open and stepped inside the pub. He couldn't help but tut as he took in the place. It wasn't often that he came into this pub. It was the fact that Aberforth was the new owner. He had bought the pub two years ago and made it clear that Albus wasn't to be a regular visitor. Albus personally hated the animosity that sat between him and his brother but some things only deepen with time.

In truth there had been a point when he had thought that things were looking up for their relationship. When he had started the Order of the Phoenix Aberforth had agreed to join. The words his brother used though had stung him to the core. He had explained that he would join 'for the greater good'.

Albus had to admit that although they still didn't speak it was 'for the greater good' that Aberforth was a member. He didn't come to the meetings; he refused to have anything to do with them. But he was a source of information. The Hogs Head had always had a reputation for sleaze. This hadn't changed now that Voldemort was about. In fact Aberforth had provided a great deal of information. Loose lips seemed to be common in the pub.

Sometimes it surprised Albus that the Death Eaters so openly spoke about their plans in the pub. Most people knew who Aberforth was; they knew that he was a Dumbledore. But the rumours of their relationship were in this case advantageous. The gossiped rumour that Aberforth was the cause of Albus' broken nose, which was true. The idea that the brothers hadn't spoken since the day they had buried their sister. All these rumours encouraged the belief that they were estranged. Nobody would ever expect them to be close or to ever be in a room together again.

"What are you doing here? You're not welcome!"

A number of heads turned to look at him. Aberforth was holding a dirty wash cloth in one hand looking as though he was ready to throw it at Albus.

"I'm not here to see you."

"Get out of my pub."

"No."

"I said out!"

"I have an appointment with one of your guests."

"I don't care."

"A Sibyll Trelawney."

Aberforth raised an eyebrow at Albus. The brother's eyes so identical meet and the younger jerked his head towards a set of stairs. Albus gave a little nod and headed up them. It wasn't difficult to know which room she was in. There were only a handful and not many people chose to stay there if they could. Albus was guessing that she had chosen the place because it was cheep.

"Ah Albus Dumbledore I knew you'd be coming."

"I'm glad to hear that since we made the appointment."

The woman gave a little laugh pulling her shawls higher over her shoulders. Albus looked at her closely. She resembled some sort of bug, very thin with big glasses that made her eyes seem bigger.

"Please take a seat Headmaster."

Albus nodded sitting down on a wooden stool. He couldn't help but wonder how long he would have to stay before he could leave. The post of Divination to his mind was one that he should allow to falter away. Divination wasn't real magic and it wasn't something that could be taught. You either had the gift or not.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me Headmaster."

"Oh not at all dear."

"Yes some people believe that Divination is a load of codswallop. But you and I both know that it is a true art and only the best witches and wizards can tune themselves into the future."

Albus nodded slightly and gave her a small smile.

"Miss Trelawney would I be right in saying that you are the great-great-granddaughter of Cassandra Trelawney?"

"Indeed Headmaster. I'm a descended from a woman who most now claim to be the most gifted seer of modern times. This of course made her very famous but I do not seek fame and fortune as she did. No I wish to open the minds of the young to the truth of the art."

Albus smiled at her. Her voice sounded mystical and he knew that listening to her that one would believe that she had the gift. He however was unconvinced by it all.

"Is it also true that you are the first in the family since Cassandra to hold this gift?"

"Yes. But it isn't that unusual it has been known to skip a generation or three!"

She gave a simpering laugh that sent shivers through Albus. He was sure of one thing sitting with her. No matter what she said she didn't have the gift. She was trying to make a profit through the fame of her grandmother.

"Miss Trelawney. I do not wish to lead you on here. The continued teaching of Divination in Hogwarts is not something I wish. I have allowed it to be taught due to the fact that a teacher was already in the position. However with this retirement I feel that it is time to put an end to this subject. I am very sorry that I can not offer you a position. However with talent like yours I'm sure that there is something just around the corner for you."

The woman looked a bit taken aback but gave a small civil nod.

"Good evening Miss Trelawney."

Albus stood up and turned to leave. As he reached the door he heard a strange in take of breath and then a voice very different to the one that had been speaking moments earlier.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies … and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not … and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives … the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies."

Albus stared at the woman a moment as she shook her head and gave him a funny look.

"I thought you had left!"

"Pardon?"

"I thought you had already left."

She doesn't know! Albus felt his stomach go tight as he looked at the woman closely. She really did have the gift but for some reason she was unaware of it. It was clear that she had no control over it like true seerers. She could only have the tiniest amount of the gift.

"Miss Trelawney. You know sometimes I think myself too rash for my own good. Maybe I have made a mistake in dismissing the subject so quickly. How would you like the position?"

"Really. That would be fantastic."

"Yes and you should start straight away. I know that Humberston isn't set to retire until the end of the year but maybe he could show you the ropes. He can talk you through class schedules and about the most common parts of the subject that comes up in examinations."

"But I shall be able to see that myself. My gift allows."

"My dear I do believe that it would be best for you to join our staff straight away. Why don't you pack your things up and I'll wait downstairs in the bar for you. Then together we can head up to the school."

The woman nodded softly and Albus stepped outside. His hands went straight to his face as he took a deep breath. He needed to get her up to the school and fast. She would be a target to Voldemort if he ever discovered that she had made a prophecy about his downfall. And Albus was sure that he would discover it soon. The ministry were filled with his spies and he was sure to have one in the Department of Mysteries.

Slowly he made his way down to the bar. However halfway down he was met by Aberforth. His brother looked disgruntled as he looked around.

"You were overheard."

"What? By who?"

"Severus Snape. I was coming up the stairs and he was stood there with his ear pressed against the door. I had to pull him away. But Albus I heard what she said."

"Which was?"

Aberforth looked around his blue eyes wide.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…"

Albus felt the colour drain from his face.

"Did you hear anymore?"

"No I managed to get Snape away at that point. But Albus he heard that too. Severus Snape heard that a child is going to be born who has the power to vanquish the Dark Lord."

The two brothers stared at each other for a moment. Their problems towards each other lay forgotten as they realised the impact of what had happened. Severus Snape was a Death Eater. He knew the beginning of the Prophecy. That meant that there were four young people in trouble now. Albus needed to call an emergency meeting with the Longbottoms and the Potters.

* * *

Okay so it's official I'm back from New Zealand. And I thought I'd post now before I crawl into bed for two days to get over the jet lag that I start to feel starting in! Umm… I shall try to post again on Thursday but it depends on how much I get written, I'm quickly running out.

Kris xx


	113. One Hundred Thirteen

Chapter 113

"Will you stop it!"

Lily looked sideways at James and gave him a grimace.

"I'm seven months pregnant James! You should try getting comfy with a stomach the size of a boulder!"

A chuckle came from her other side and she could see Alice's shoulders moving. If it had been anyone else Lily would have snapped but Alice understood that feeling. Lily could tell by the way she was wriggling herself.

"Okay maybe we should just start this meeting then."

Lily smiled up at Albus as he sat down across from them at his desk. She was a little confused about why they were there if she told the truth. They had received an owl early that morning telling them to be at Hogwarts for six that evening. So she and James had headed up only to find Alice and Frank doing the same.

"Now you must be wondering why I've only asked the four of you here today. This is because what I'm going to say affects you all but can't be told to anyone else."

"What about –"

"Nobody James. This is extremely important and the more people that know the bigger the danger."

"Albus what is it?"

Frank's voice held a hint of anticipation. James took Lily's hand in a manner that told her that he was worried about what was happening. She realised herself that whatever it was it was serious. Albus closed his eyes for a moment and gave a tiny sigh.

"You are all aware that Professor Humberston is retiring at the end of the year."

"If you're going to ask one of us to teach Divination Albus you're wasting your breath. It's a fraud subject. Everybody knows that true seers don't publicise it, well except for old Cassandra Trelawney."

Lily had to laugh at Alice's comment. She personally agreed with her on the whole. The subject of Divination was too imprecise. There was a lot of room for change in it. She personally felt that nobody ever took into account free will.

"Alice I'm not going to ask you to teach no. You see last night I had a meeting with well the great-great-granddaughter of Cassandra Trelawney actually. I must admit that I wasn't very impressed with her she showed no signs of being a true seer to my mind."

"So why are you telling us this then Albee?"

The old man gave a small grin at James. He looked over their heads out of the window into the setting sun. The four of them watched him in silence and Lily couldn't help but wonder what was going through his head.

"Frank how many times have you and Alice escaped Voldemort?"

"Three."

Albus nodded at his words and looked at James.

"James?"

"Three."

He nodded as he steepled his hands in front of his face.

"Alice when is your baby due?"

"End of July."

"Lily?"

"Same time as Alice."

Lily shared a look with James. This was strange even for Albus. She felt the baby move and kick her as she turned her attention back to the old Headmaster. She just had to ask what was happening.

"Albus why are you asking us these things?"

"I agree with Alice on Divination being a fraudulent pursuit. Many people refuse to believe a word of what to most people is fortune telling. But there are examples spread throughout history of true seers. Last night I meet with a descendant of such a seer. But like I said I sensed no trace of it in her. That is until I was leaving…"

He became silent again for a moment not meeting anybodies eyes.

"The woman suddenly went rigid and spoke in a voice very different to her everyday one. When she stopped she had no memory of what she had just said. This indicates to me that it was a prophecy. This honestly made me re-think about not hiring her. Although I will admit that I brought her here only for her own safety as most of the time I believe she is putting an act on."

"What?"

James had his eyes shut and his face screwed up which told Lily he was confused. Albus though leaned back in his chair and looked at the four of them individually. Once his focus had shifted off Lily and onto James he finally spoke.

"She predicted the downfall of Voldemort."

Lily felt her mouth drop as she looked from James to Alice and finally Frank. It was the other woman though that seemed to recover from this news the quickest.

"Who is it?"

"It is the son of a couple who have thrice defied Voldemort."

His words sunk in as Lily felt James squeeze her hand tighter. Her breath seemed to catch in her throat. But Albus took no notice as he continued speaking.

"Do either of you know the sex of the baby?"

Lily shook her head at the same moment that Alice did. Albus though just smiled kindly.

"Well one of you will at least be having a son. After all you are the only people who have thrice defied Voldemort who are expecting a child at the end of July. The question though is which one of you is going to be the parent of such a son. I guess that we shall have to wait until the children are born to discover this."

"Wait a minute. So either Alice or Lily is carrying the person who will defeat Voldemort."

Albus nodded at Frank slowly.

"So nobody else will be able to defeat him."

"That depends on what score you put into prophecies. But for the sake of argument. No."

"So that means its going to be at least eighteen years before Voldemort is destroyed."

Lily felt sick suddenly. Frank was right. If they were carrying the Chosen One then it would be a long time until Voldemort could be defeated. Their children would have to grow up first and learn magic. There would be no way that they would be ready to take on Voldemort until they were at least seventeen.

"Possibly, but again that depends on who you read into the prophecy."

Lily couldn't help herself.

"What were the exact words of the prophecy Albus?"

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies … and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not … and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives … the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies."_

"Wait what power? What power will he have that Voldemort doesn't?"

James was on his feet looking at Albus. But the older man just gave a soft shrug. Frank though seemed to have focused on another aspect.

"What does it mean either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives? Does that mean that our son has to die?"

Again Albus shrugged at them. Lily though was feeling sick with fright. Both men were now yelling at Albus while Lily and Alice sat silently in their chairs. It was a few moments before Albus silenced the pair.

"I didn't want to tell you about this. I would have protected you from this truth for as long as I could. However there is a slight problem. You see last night somebody who is known to be a Death Eater overheard. We are fortunate that he only heard the opening lines. But by now it is probably correct to assume that Voldemort knows that at the end of July one of you will give birth to the boy that has the ability to defeat him."

Lily didn't take anything else in. She didn't know if Albus said anything else. She was too lost in her own thoughts. The image of her holding a little boy filled her mind. The image of Voldemort snatching him from her and killing him. Well if he thought that he could kill her child he had another thing coming. There was no way she would ever let him kill another one of her children…

* * *

Sorry for the delay I really want to say sorry. But I'm ill ... and worse than that most of the shop is on the sick so I've worked every day since Tuesday and not due a day off until the 8th October. So not sure when the next post will be. But I shall try to put another chapter up in the week. Sorry again

Kris xx


	114. One Hundred Fourteen

Chapter 114

Two weeks had passed since the night that Albus had told Lily about the possibility that her child might be the only hope against Voldemort. Every time she thought about that she felt sick. She found that her nightmares took another sinister twist. No longer was James the one being murdered but the undefined face of her child.

Lily knew that she needed to try not to think about it. But it was too hard for her. Every thought awake or asleep centred around Voldemort. She was petrified. Not so much for herself but for the baby. She understood that she herself was still young and had a lot to live for. But she was determined that if it came down to it she would do anything, even die, to save her child.

She had noticed that Remus and Sirius were watching her closely again. She had seen the way that they also looked at James. It seemed he too was having a difficult time with it. But yet there was something like pride on his face. Lily suspected that he was proud that it could be his son, if they did have a son, who could be responsible for Voldemort's defeat.

She though couldn't think that way. It was tearing her up. She also found it difficult not to be able to openly talk about it. Whenever she brought it up with James he would smile and say 'imagine our son a hero'. She couldn't talk to Alice about it because she seemed to be having just as tough a time.

What Lily needed was to know whether Voldemort had been told about the prophecy. For two weeks she had been fighting with this thought. But she was now clear that she needed to know. That was why she had secretly sent an owl to an old friend. She had had to do it behind James' back as there would be no way he would allow it otherwise.

So as May was drawing to its end Lily called on the Knight Bus and travelled to her home town. It felt so strange to be back. When she had been fourteen they had moved to the small village in which her parents had been killed. But prior to that this place had been home. Even ten years since she had last stood there it didn't seem to have changed at all.

Lily spotted the park and remembered playing on the swings with Petunia. She couldn't help but laugh remembering the look on her sister's face when she use to jump off them. Petunia had hated that so much. She had always commented that their mother had told them not to do that. But Lily didn't have time to stand around remembering those times. Instead she walked into a small wooded area and found the clearing.

It was just like it had always been. She remembered meeting him here and talking about all things magical. He had been the one to show her the wizarding world. He had taught her the terms, told her of the sport. Never though had he informed her of the prejudice she would face. Maybe he had been ignorant of them back then. Maybe he hadn't expected the world to be so corrupted.

"Just like old times right."

Lily turned and watched as the man stepped into the clearing. He had changed so much from the small boy who had been too afraid to talk to her. He had even changed from the outcast he had been during their school years.

"It's nothing like those times and you know it."

He gave her a small smile as he sat down on a stump. He was dressed the way he always did these days in black robes. His skin was paler than she had ever seen it and his eyes were sagging into his sockets.

"You look ill."

"I'm fine Lily."

Lily leaned against one of the trees and looked at him. They were both silent for a long time. It had been years since they had spoken. In fact her last civil conversation with him had been shortly after he called her a Mudblood during their Owl exams.

"You look very well Lily."

"Thank you Severus."

The man nodded as she looked at his left arm. He rubbed it under her gaze as she shook her head.

"You took the mark then."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're not like them. Or at least the Severus I knew wasn't."

"I'm not that little boy anymore."

"Clearly."

He stiffened for a moment then sighed loudly.

"Look you didn't ask me here to talk about the old times. What is it you want?"

"Diagon Alley."

"What about it?"

"Were you involved?"

He gave her a strange look as slowly he stood up.

"Lily I don't think that it's appropriate –"

"My daughter was murdered Severus. The little girl who I carried in my stomach for nine months. The little girl who was the only link to my dead fiancé. I know that she was killed by Death Eaters. All I want to know is were you involved."

She watched as he gave the tiniest of nods. She made her face neutral though. She wouldn't react.

"Do you know who killed her?"

He hesitated this time before nodding. She noticed how his eyes had closed and his fingers locked as he pressed his hands together tightly. It may have been a long time since they had been together but she recognised the signs. She knew the looks he wore when he had done something that he later regretted.

"You bastard."

"I wasn't thinking Lily."

"YOU KILLED MY SAMMIE!"

"I KILLED JAMES' DAUGHTER!"

Lily's hands went to her cheeks as she looked at the man.

"Why don't you understand Severus? James is my husband! His children are my children. So you didn't kill James' daughter you killed mine. You killed a two year old girl. How could you? She was defenceless, she couldn't hurt you!"

"And what about when she got older? What about when she realised that I was there when her Uncles 'On' and 'An' were killed?"

"What?"

"I was there Lily. I watched Dolohov, the two Carrows, Karkaroff and one of the Lestrange's kill them. Your two friends hit me with a stunning spell. I was on the ground unable to do anything. They took down another three of us. But we out numbered them. I swear we were only going to kill them. And then she turned up."

"I don't understand."

"She came from nowhere calling out for 'An' and 'On'. I watched her try to wake up the Quidditch player. She was asking to go see an owl. She then tried to wake up the other. I stepped out from the alley and she spotted me. She told me that they wouldn't wake up."

"So you killed her!"

"No I asked for her name. She told me she was Sammie. Bellatrix Lestrange was still hanging around and I know for a fact that she was listening. I knew she was James' daughter and I knew that I had to do something. She told me she wanted to see the owls and well… I could see Bellatrix coming closer. She would have tortured her Lily. Either way she was going to die. So I killed her. I'm sorry but at least she didn't suffer –"

"You think that's a consolation! Severus you killed my daughter."

Tears sprung to her eyes and she tried not to let them fall. Severus was watching her carefully and she could see the tears forming in his own eyes.

"Lily if I could change things I would. I love you and I've never wanted to hurt you."

"You have a funny way of showing it then."

He became silent and she sniffed. They just looked at each other for a while and then Severus spoke up.

"I'll hand myself in if you want me to."

"No. How is that going to help? It won't bring Sammie back."

"I should be punished though."

"I'll hate you for it forever. Will that be punishment enough?"

His eyes shifted to the ground and she took that as his answer. Their friendship had long been ruined but she had never hated him. She hated what he had become, the people who he had chosen as friends. But she had never hated him personally.

"There's something else I need to know."

His dark eyes met hers and she could see he was bracing himself.

"I need information Severus."

"I can't give you details Lily. The Dark Lord can penetrate minds; he'll know I've seen you."

"I just want to know if he is aware of a prophecy."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"How do you know?"

She noticed his fingers locked again as he pushed his hands together. Watching him she remembered the words that Albus Dumbledore had spoken … _somebody who is known to be a Death Eater overheard_. She suddenly knew the identity of the Death Eater.

"Severus did you tell him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Albus told me a known Death Eater overheard. It's been years Severus but the little things about you haven't changed. I still know when you're withholding information. You heard the opening lines of the prophecy didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell Voldemort?"

"I don't see what it matters to you."

"_Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. _Severus use your brain. You're smart enough to figure things out. Look at me; I'm not just fat you know!"

"So what you're pregnant."

"I'm due at the end of July Severus."

The man's eyes widened as he looked at her. It was as though he was seeing her for the first time.

"So what? You haven't defied him three times though Lily."

"Yes I have Severus. I escaped him the night that Larry died. I escaped him with Alice the night he killed Dorcas Meadowes. And I escaped him back in March. That makes three times."

What tiny colour he had drained away. She could see his brain ticking as if trying to see a loophole which proved that she was wrong.

"James hasn't escaped though!"

"He has Severus. He was with me the night that Larry died. He escaped with me back in March and only a few weeks ago he was the one to break in and get Alice and Frank Longbottom out. He's come face to face with Voldemort on three occasions and escaped each time."

"Shit… but maybe there's someone else that the prophecy can be about."

"You mean the Longbottom's."

"What?"

"It's either them or us. No other options Severus. So I need to know. Does Voldemort know about the Prophecy? Have you told him?"

"Yes."

His eyes closed and his hand covered his mouth. Lily watched silently. He looked almost like he was about to retch. Then he steadied himself and looked at her closely.

"You're a Muggleborn so your child is going to be a half blood. But both the Longbottom's are pureblood so they're child is going to be as well. So their child has got to be the one that the prophecy is about!"

"What? Severus it's not who you're born to that counts! It's what you achieve. Bloody hell you're a half blood! Do you really think that the pure bloods are better than you?"

"No but the Dark Lord ranks those of pure blood higher."

She fell silent shaking her head.

"What happened to you? I miss the little boy who use to sit in this clearing with me. Sure he was never perfect but at least he wasn't a murderer. At least he could see the good in people without being prejudice."

"He grew up in a world of different ideals Lily. If you had been born to one wizarding parent I bet you'd think the same way that I do."

"Rubbish. Look at James! Look at the Prewetts, Larry, Remus, Peter, Albus even Sirius! They all grew up with wizarding parents but they know the difference between right and wrong. They never took the easy path. They stood up for what is right and some of them gave their lives and some of them probably still will."

"Lily –"

"No Severus! I'm telling you this now as a friend. If Voldemort decides that my child is the one that is going to defeat him and tries to come after us, well he'll have to come through me. I will die to save my child. I will die to protect it so that it will grow up knowing that its mum loved it so much that she gave her life so that it could live."

"He won't come after you."

"You can't know that."

"I'll make sure."

"What?"

"Lily I love you. I've always loved you. There's never been anybody else. I sometimes think that if things had been different you'd be Lily Snape not Potter. I promise you that I will do everything that I possibly can to ensure that the Dark Lord doesn't come after you."

"And if he does?"

"Then I'll do everything I can to help Dumbledore to keep you safe."

"You'd go to Dumbledore?"

"If it means keeping you safe Lily I'd go to the moon and back. I'd do anything for you. I promise you that whatever happens I will fight until my last breath to keep you and your baby alive."

Lily couldn't help but smile. Slowly she covered the distance between her and Severus. Then for the first time in nearly a decade she opened her arms and hugged him. It was much tougher with the giant bump she had for a stomach but she held him.

"Ouch!"

She pulled back surprised to see the man looking at her stomach.

"The spawn of Potter just attacked me!"

"It kicked!"

"It's just like its father! It kicked me!"

A laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head.

"It always kicks around about this time Severus. It's normal. It's the baby's way of letting you know its there. Think of it as a hello."

Severus just gave her a look before breaking into a smile. His arms wrapped around her again as they stood together one last time in their clearing. For a moment it almost felt like old times to Lily. All the pain of life was seeping away. And for just a minute it felt like being eleven years old again and hugging her best friend.

* * *

I know I had Snape kill Sammie and then I read DH. And it just doesn't make sense that he would kill Sammie if he loved Lily. So that's why the Bellatrix explanation is there. I know it's very weak and maybe I should have kept it going without that. But it became too good an opportunity to explain why he changed sides. And no she hasn't forgiven him but the conversation changed patterns and she had to hug him for his promise. 


	115. One Hundred Fifteen

Chapter 115

May slowly faded away as June made its appearance. Lily welcomed it with baited breath. A heat wave seemed to be on the cards. The sun had been beating down for over a week and the temperature was soaring. Lily hated it. At the best of times warm weather was a problem with her fair skin. But being nearly seven months pregnant brought more dilemmas.

She was too hot all the time. She had taken to walking around with a cooling charm on her for most of the day. She spent her time sitting in the shade of her garden drinking cold lemonades watching her flowers bloom.

As had become the norm she didn't find herself lonely very often. Alice was a regular visitor to her garden. They had taken to strolling around the village together and looking around the local muggle shops. It always seemed to interest Alice who had had very little contact with muggles in her past.

On the days that Alice didn't visit she usually ended up with either Remus or Sirius for company. Sirius always brought his motorbike and spent his afternoons talking to Lily while polishing it, or else trying to encourage her to play cards or chess. Remus similarly would play cards with her otherwise they would sit quietly reading books.

Ever since they had moved in there was one neighbour who had taken a shine to them. It had actually surprised Lily to no end the first time she had opened the door to find a small old lady standing there with a biscuit tin. But over the months she had been there she had gotten use to the daily visits of Bathilda Bagshot.

She had recently begun to appreciate them much more than she ever thought that she would. Bathilda had lived in the village for over a hundred years. This in itself was a revelation to Lily. She had never appreciated how old wizarding folks could really live to be. Bathilda though was quite the character. She had so many stories.

That hadn't really surprised Lily too much. After all the woman was an acclaimed writer. Lily remembered using her book 'A History of Magic' in Hogwarts. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined being friends with such a famous person. Yet every day they would have tea and biscuits together.

Lily loved the time she spent with the older woman. She had never thought that she would meet a woman that remembered Albus Dumbledore as a teenager. Some of the stories about him had made her laugh. Some had made her wonder. Like the alleged friendship with Gellert Grindelwald. After all Albus was famous for his defeat. But then Bathilda was the man's great Aunt. Lily wasn't too sure what to make of her stories sometimes.

It was during one of these visits when they were sat in the living room chatting about Bathilda's old Hogwarts days when Lily was surprised to hear the letterbox rattle. With a struggle she pulled herself up to her feet and waddled to the front door. Sat on the mat was a single letter. With a wave of her wand she held it.

Looking at the hand written address she knew who it was from. The handwriting was Petunia's without a doubt. Carefully she opened the envelope and looked at the letter inside.

_Lily_

_On the 23__rd__ June my son was born. As I told you when we last spoke we have named him Dudley. I am well as is he. He was born weighing 11lbs. I'm pretty sure that he is taking after my Vernon with that weight. After all his mum told me that he was 10lb 9ozs at birth. Where I was only 7lb 3oz and you were 7lb 5ozs. We were small children but my Dudley is a big boy already. But while he has taken on Vernon's frame he seems to be fair-haired as I am. I enclose a photo for you._

_Petunia._

Lily pulled out a small photo and grinned looking at her nephew. He was a Dursley that was sure. Although he would only be … oh five days old he had a mop of blonde hair like Petunia. Lily grinned looking at the curls. They were just the same as Sammie's had been when she had been born.

"Lily dear are you alright?"

"Oh yes Bathilda. Lovely. I'm an Aunty."

"Oh that's exciting! Do you and James have family then?"

Lily moved into the living room and nodded at her neighbour.

"I have a sister who lives in Surrey."

"She must be a very powerful witch as well."

"No Petunia is a muggle."

"A muggle?"

"Yes. My entire family are muggles. I'm the only witch."

Bathilda nodded as Lily looked at the photo again. A small smile spread to her lips.

"Bathilda do you mind if we cut tea short today. I think I'm going to call the Knight Bus and go down and visit them. I would really like to see my nephew, at least once!"

The old lady looked a little confused for a moment before nodding at Lily. She collected her biscuit tin and gave Lily a little kiss on the cheek. The redhead watched the old woman bob down the path. Taking a quick look at the clock Lily knew that it would be an hour before Remus turned up. So taking a piece of parchment she scribbled him a note and headed outside.

Holding her wand tightly she made her way up the path away from the muggle village. She knew that everyone in the village always headed up there to call the bus. It was the safest thing, especially after Old Gareth Headington had spotted it back in 1954. Ever since then he had been telling the story of a big purple Triple Decker bus. Luckily the muggles thought that he'd had one to many scotches.

As she reached a safe distance she stuck her wand out and just managed to step back quick enough not to get hit.

"Afternoon Miss. Can we help?"

"I need to get to 4 Privet Drive in Little Whinging Surrey."

Lily got onto the bus and took a seat. The conductor came over and took her money and the journey began. There was a bang and then they were hurtling down a busy interstate. Then another bang and they were in another country road. Following yet another bang they hit a street filled with posh muggle houses.

Lily didn't know how many of these changes took place during her ride. There were two many to count. But thirty minutes after she had gotten on the conductor came back and said they'd moved her forward. Maybe it was because she was turning a greenish colour, or maybe because she was pregnant. She didn't care if it meant she could get off quicker!

Finally Lily stepped off the bus and looked at her surroundings. It was very neat. All the houses looked the same with tidy little green squares at the front for the garden. With knocking knees Lily walked up the drive to number four. A couple of people shot her strange looks but she didn't care. She might not have been muggle but she was once one of them. She knew how to dress to fit in and she had been careful to pick a yellow sundress.

One of the neighbours nodded at her and she gave him a small smile. Maybe it was the bump that got the people's attention. Or maybe it was the fact she was heading to the Dursleys. Lily was aware that the only guest they had had since moving in was Marge. Petunia had been sending her regular letters for a while.

She knocked the door and waited only moments for it to open.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Vernon's eyes looked like they were going to pop from his head as he looked around. The neighbour had stopped mowing his lawn to look at them. Lily though didn't take any notice as she smiled at her brother in law.

"Hello Vernon. Is my sister home?"

"You're not welcome. Go away!"

"Alright then. I'll just apparate shall I?"

That did it. His fat hand grabbed her upper arm and she was yanked inside. The door was slammed behind her and a wailing started.

"Vernon! How many times do I have to tell you not to slam the door?"

Petunia emerged from the living room and took in Lily's appearance. Her eyes went wide and she looked around as if searching for something.

"What are you doing here?"

"I got your letter and I wanted to come and see little Dudley myself."

She moved towards them. Petunia was looking at Vernon and her cheeks had taken on a blush. Lily though didn't notice as she cooed over the young boy.

"He's big Petunia. It must have been so painful!"

"Well it wasn't a stroll in the park."

Petunia went back into the living room and sat on the sofa. Dudley's crying was slowing and Lily stationed herself next to her sister.

"How long was the labour?"

"Only nine hours. So it wasn't too bad. The woman in the bed next too me had been in labour for three days. Progressing so slowly though that she said they thought it might take another twenty four hours before she was ready."

Lily made a low whistle shaking her head.

"That's what I'm dreading. That and Sirius running in every two minutes to ask if it's born yet."

"Still don't know what it is then?"

"I'm suddenly hoping like anything that it's a girl. I did want a boy from the start but things have changed."

"Umm. How long have you got left?"

"Another month, if that. You know what its like. Really anytime now."

Lily grinned at her sister before remembering something. Reaching into the bag she pulled out a small brown bear. She had bought it two weeks earlier thinking that it would be perfect for her baby. But instead she handed it over Petunia.

"It's not much. But you know it's…"

"Bungle!"

Petunia broke into a smile and Lily couldn't help but join her. Something's don't change and their memories of childhood would forever be one of them. Although Petunia and Lily had both been teenagers by the time Rainbow came about they would sit together and watch it. It was one of those things that had kept them somewhat close during her Hogwarts years.

"You know Lily; I don't think I'll ever let Dudley watch Rainbow."

"It's brilliant though Petunia! Come on we always loved it."

"But remember why we loved it."

They laughed again. For a moment Lily almost forgot her worries about the wizarding world. Instead she and Petunia told the jokes that her parents had hated them to know.

* * *

I tried to post 3 days ago but my internet has been down for some strange reason (the plug was out!) Lol. Anyway I've decided that since today is my birthday I'm going to give you all a present. Which is a double post! So please reply, because I love replies! Lol

Kris xx


	116. One Hundred Sixteen

Chapter 116

June ended quickly and July appeared. Lily was completely fed up with things now. She remembered the end of her pregnancy with Sammie. She had hated those last few weeks. She had constantly felt fat, tired and useless. Things were no different this time round.

She had been to a hospital appointment in the first week of the month for tests. They assured her that everything was well and looked like she was on track. What she had really wanted to hear was that the baby was ready to be born there and then. She wasn't that lucky though.

At the appointment she had fought long and hard with herself. She had on several occasions nearly asked to be told the sex of the baby. Just so that she could say yes or no about whether it could be the one in the prophecy. But in the end she had walked out without knowing.

She had been spending more and more time with Alice. They kept heading into Diagon Alley to get out of their houses. And while most in the wizarding world seemed afraid to head into the Alley after the earlier attacks they weren't. They were after all still members of the Order of the Phoenix. They were aware of the shop keepers who were part of the organisation and the members that spent their days there.

That's where they had headed that day. Due to the heat they had decided that a nice chilled ice-cream was just what they needed. So they had found a table outside in the sun and sat together with their ice-creams. Lily knew that to passer-by's they looked happy and without a care but the wait of everything was affecting them.

They had an unspoken agreement not to mention the prophecy. Lily found this difficult at times because it weighed so much on her mind. But they always managed to stay off that topic. But it wasn't just that that worried them. Lily had given in the names of those that had killed the Prewetts but the evidence wasn't there to convict them.

Moody had asked her how she had known and she had said it was from a source. She had gone to Dumbledore but none of his sources could confirm it. There was one person who knew, Ollivander but he had carefully taken himself out of the equation. Somehow he was keeping such a low profile that it hadn't crossed the Aurors minds to question the man.

"Did you see your healer Lily?"

She snapped out of thought and smiled at her friend.

"Yeah. Apparently everything is progressing nicely. What about you?"

"Said the same thing. I asked if there was any chance that I could go early, and they said they doubt it. I even asked if there was anyway that we could then keep the baby inside until August. They laughed."

Lily gave a small chuckle.

"Did they ask why you were desperate not to have the baby in the last week of July?"

"No and if they had I wouldn't have said."

Lily nodded she felt the same way. She was silently praying that she would go over. She had been four days late with Sammie and if this baby did the same it wouldn't be born until August. That was the best she could hope for at the moment.

"Have you found out the sex Lily?"

"I thought about it but I just couldn't do it. You?"

"I asked them to tell me. They did the tests and then at the last moment I chickened out. I know I shouldn't but I'm worried now. I want the baby and I want it to be healthy and I know I'll love it even if it's a boy or a girl, but I'm scared that if it is a boy then he'll be in danger."

Lily looked into her friends face. That was the closest they'd ever come to mentioning it. Lily knew how Alice felt about that.

"I wanted a boy from the start because I didn't want Sammie to be jealous. Then I wanted a boy because after she was … I didn't think I could cope if it was a girl. Now I'm petrified that I'll get my wish. And Alice it's for the same reasons as you. But I get the feeling deep down that whatever we have they'll be in danger, because well they'll be baby Longbottom and Potter."

Alice nodded slowly. She peered around and then looked back at Lily.

"Frank's worried too and I think that's worse. I think part of him is a little proud that You-Know-Who could live to fear our child. But I think the fear for the baby's safety is making him really nervous."

"Wish I could say the same about James?"

"Why?"

"He keeps smiling at the oddest of times and he mutters under his breath 'my son a hero'. I don't think it's crossed his mind yet how dangerous its going to be. I think at the moment he's imagining that it's him. That he'll be the one defeating him and it hasn't crossed his mind what it would mean if it's the baby."

They both feel silent thinking it over. Lily always felt guilty when she hoped that it wouldn't be her son because then she knew she was praying for it to be Alice's. But she was also aware that the other mother was thinking the same thing. The truth was that Lily wished that there could be someone else, anyone else that would be able to perform the task that it seemed fate was placing at the feet of their families.

"Have you settled on the names yet then Alice?"

"Finally yes. We decided to do the thing where one of us picks boy's names and the other girl's names. I got the girls and Frank the boys. We came up with five each and picked our favourites."

"Which are?"

"Wendy and Neville."

Lily smiled at her friend.

"They're nice. Wendy or Neville Longbottom. I like that."

"Thanks and you?"

"James wants us to call a girl after a flower. He said something along the lines that I'm his little Lily and his daughter will be his little Jasmine."

"Jasmine Potter that's sweet. And if it's a boy?"

"We've got it down to two names Jonathon or Christopher. We can't decide which."

Alice smiled as a bang sounded from down the Alley. People started to scream and run until a sale boy looking very red face made an apology. He'd knocked over a cart filled with potions ingredients. People were all so on edge these days that even the smallest of sounds spooked. Lily couldn't help and wish that the war would be over soon and things could go back to normal. Unconsciously she ran her hand over her bump.

* * *

Okay so to answer a question that has been risen about what is Rainbow. Rainbow was a British T.V show that aired in the 70's and 80's. And basically it caused a stir with a … well this is how it is put when I did the search for it…

**Rainbow - **George, Bungle Zippy and Geoffrey (and the rather freaky Rod, Jane and Freddy) entertained kids for over 20 years. But an infamous installment changed perceptions somewhat. Never intended for broadcast, the 'Twangers' episode featured plenty of rude jokes and intended sexual innuendo. It begins with Zippy peeling a banana, saying "One skin, two skin, three skin, four..." before being interrupted.

And basically that's what the joke was between Lily and Petunia. They remembered the sexual innuendo's of the show and it was a private joke between them. Hope that clears that up.


	117. One Hundred Seventeen

Chapter 117

Lily felt bloated as she turned the page in the Quidditch magazine. She stopped and laughed at a moving photo of Sirius promoting some kind of hair gel. She read the caption 'keeps your hair tidy even while flying.' The Sirius in the picture ran his fingers through his hair and gave a large smile with a little wink. Oh she couldn't wait for him to turn up now so she could take the mick.

She was really uncomfortable and had been for the last two days. Lily knew what that meant she had been a Healer too long not too. The uncomfortable stage signalled the very end of the pregnancy. She realised now that she was likely to go really soon. However she was keeping her legs crossed hoping to wait a little longer.

It was the 30th July and in two more days in would be August. She was hoping like anything that she could hold out until then. If she could do that then the prophecy wouldn't be about them. That though was if Voldemort decided that it didn't. He might take it to his mind that it didn't matter if her baby was born a few days late, the fact it was born to her and James could be enough for him.

A shiver ran down her spine even though it was so hot that she was sweating. But she knew that it had nothing to do with the heat. Her thoughts chilled her in ways that the weather seemed unable to do of late. She was beginning to feel a little peckish and wondered if there was any of the spaghetti left that Peter had made the night before.

She shifted to glance at the clock. It was almost six and James had yet to return home. That wasn't all that unusual with the war. But she figured that she had waited long enough for him. She could now have dinner and not feel too guilty about it.

As she moved to push herself up she heard a pop in the kitchen and then James came into the living room with a huge smile on his face.

"What are you so happy about?"

"I just spoke with Frank."

"Okay…"

"Alice went into labour this morning. She's had the baby."

Lily grinned filled with pride and happiness for her friend. She had done it; she had gone through the dreaded labour and now had her first child.

"What did she have?"

James stiffened a little as Lily managed to get to her feet. One look at his face and she knew the answer to her question, she spoke very softly.

"Neville Longbottom."

James nodded. Lily didn't know what emotion she should feel at that moment. Alice and Frank had had a son. That meant the prophecy could be aimed at them. But then again she didn't want Alice and Frank to have to worry that their son would be the saviour of the wizarding world. There was further anxiety over the thought that she might still have a son and they'd still be none the wiser.

"Did Frank say if she was fit for visitors?"

"We could go ask if you'd like."

All thoughts of left over spaghetti had left Lily's mind as she waddled towards the fireplace to head to St. Mungos. Ten minutes after James had arrived home Lily was stood in the reception area. She looked around feeling almost as though she was back home again. Her brain was flooded with happy memories of times spent there. Then shaking her head she walked towards the stairs.

A few people waved towards her and she waved back as she started to climb the stairs with James by her side. They made slow progress because she was so big and was tiring so often that they had to take a number of short breaks. Finally they reached the correct floor and walked along the corridor.

"Excuse me can we help you?"

Lily smiled at the healers that had come running over. They obviously thought that she was in need of them.

"Not yet no. We're here to visit Alice Longbottom."

"Oh visiting hours have finished."

"Lily Potter is that you?"

She turned and saw Owens standing in one of the doorways watching her.

"Hello Sir."

"It isn't time yet is it?"

"I'm due anytime now. But no my friend just had a baby and I want to visit. But they told me I can't."

He turned and looked at the young Healers.

"Healer Potter can see any patient whenever she chooses, pregnant or not!"

"Healer?"

"Yes Lily is one of our leading Healers. She worked in the Ministry for a number of years for us and now runs departments here. So why don't you tell her where the woman is she wishes to see."

Lily smiled at Owens as he gave her a soft wink. A girl who looked no more than twenty with dirty blonde hair tied into a plait stepped forward and directed Lily to a side room. Lily knocked and opened it to look inside.

Alice was lying on the bed with her eyes closed and hands resting on her newly flatter stomach. Frank was sat in a chair next to the bed with his son wrapped in blankets in his hands. He looked up and smiled at them indicating them to come in. They entered and he got up and offered Lily the chair. She thanked him as Frank showed James his son.

"You didn't say it hurt so much."

Lily turned to see that Alice had opened her eyes. She looked knackered but wore a grin on her lips.

"Yeah but its worth it right."

Alice nodded closing her eyes slightly.

"Sixteen hours Lily."

She felt her mouth drop. She didn't need to ask what that was about. Alice had been in labour for sixteen hours with her son.

"I don't envy you that. Although I'd like to raise you Sirius and Gideon in my last one and Sirius again in this one."

Alice chuckled. They had talked no end about Sammie's birth and Alice knew the story well.

"Well thank Merlin I didn't have to put up with that. But still it's bloody hard."

"But think now the real fun starts. You get to take the baby home and have a family."

Alice nodded as Frank sat on the edge of the bed.

"Lily we'd like you to meet Neville."

Lily looked into the bungle and smiled. He was tiny but he looked perfect. He had his mothers face, same round shape. His nose belonged to his father as did his colouring. Lily was sure that when he smiled it would be Alice's smile and his eyes were shaped like his mother but for the time being the exact shade of blue of Franks.

"How much does he weigh?"

"8lbs 4ozs."

"That's not too bad."

"It was bad enough."

Lily grinned and looked at her friend.

"Dudley was 11lbs exactly."

"Ouch poor Petunia."

The two men exchanged gazed looks as Lily and Alice nodded in understanding of how painful it would be to have a child that big.

"Any indications if baby Potter is on the way yet?"

Frank gave Lily a small smile. His eyes had stayed on his son as he spoke.

"Umm… well –"

She didn't finish her sentence as she looked down. James who was stood close by jumped back and looked at her. Frank's eyes tore away from his son as he looked at her. Alice was the last to react. She answered Frank's earlier question.

"I think baby Potter is ready to make an appearance. You better get a healer."

With that James was out the door while Frank passed Neville to Alice. She felt his hands in hers as he pulled her to her feet. Great so much for her plan on keeping the kid inside until August!


	118. One Hundred Eighteen

This is the chapter that everyone has been waiting for. I know it. But I would like to dedicate it to Stephanie aka JaneDoePotter. After reading all 117 chapters in one day I think you deserve a chapter dedicated to you. Hope you like it

Kris xx

* * *

Chapter 118

Frank helped Lily into the corridor where she was met by James. He took her hand and nodded at Frank. A healer went back into the room with her wand out and Lily knew that she was going to clean up the mess she had made.

Frank looked like he was torn between wanting to help and go back to his wife. Lily gave him a smile and looked over his shoulder.

"Why don't you go see if Alice is alright? I'll be fine now."

"Thanks Lily."

James helped steer Lily into a nearby room where a Healer was setting up the bed. Lily was lifted onto it and James squeezed her hand.

"Everything will be fine. You wait."

"Yeah and why don't you do the labour thing and I hold your hand."

"Next time round."

She gave a small laugh as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. The healer was joined by an assistant and they started to potter around. Lily could feel them as they pulled up her skirt to get an idea of where exactly she was at.

A knock came on the door at that moment and Frank stuck his head in.

"Oh sorry."

"No come in Frank."

He gave Lily a look showing he hadn't meant to disturb them. He walked to the head of the bed next to James and looked at them.

"Alice sent me to ask if you're alright and if you want anything … or anyone."

"Anyone. Shit!"

James let go of Lily's hand and sprinted out of the door. She looked at Frank and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Any idea what that's about?"

"Bet it's a Sirius thing!"

Frank laughed and looked around.

"Do you want me to stay or something until he gets back?"

"No I'll be fine. You should get back to Alice and Neville."

"Good luck."

He kissed her forehead in a friendly manner just as a third Healer entered. She took in the scene and made a tutting noise.

"You get around don't you?"

"What?"

Lily and Frank spoke at the same time. The Healers eyes though were on the Auror as she spoke again.

"Let me guess this one's your mistress. Men like you make me sick."

Lily could hear the spluttering noises that Frank was making. She felt terrible for him. She looked at the woman and shook her head.

"Crystal Collins don't you dare speak to my friend like that!"

"What? Healer Potter? Oh Merlin I didn't recognise you."

"No I guessed not. Frank is a friend of the family and he's here on orders of his wife to see if I'm alright. Now don't you speak to him that way?"

"Yes whatever you say."

Frank looked stunned and Lily beckoned him forward.

"I'm her supervisor. And trust me she's getting marked down for that comment."

Frank made a little laughing noise as James came back into the room.

"Sorry had to make a call!"

Frank bid them good luck as he stepped out past Collins. He shot Lily a look as he left and she laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

"Healer Potter have the contractions started?"

"I've had two since about three this afternoon."

"You've been in labour all this time and didn't say?"

She gave James a small smile.

"It wasn't important until my waters broke. Trust me honey I know these things."

He made a little pout and she patted his hand. A load of voices suddenly started to echo through the quite halls and then there was a bang as they looked at the door. There were three men stuck in the doorway trying to push their way through.

Lily laughed as James sighing went over and pulled on Remus' arm pulling him through the door. At that movement Peter fell forward into the room as Sirius fell backwards out of the room. Some minor swear words were heard before the three men came into the room.

"Please tell me at least one of you is the father."

"Crystal! That is no way to speak in a delivery room. Now you better buck up unless you want me to fail you."

"But you're not supervising me on this department! That's not fair!"

"I'm your overall supervisor and get all the reports that are filled about you. And trust me what I see and hear from you in here is going to have an affect."

"That's harsh Lily."

She turned and looked at Sirius. She pointed her finger at him and looked back at the three young healers in the room.

"See that man there, he's not allowed in this room until after the baby is born."

"Oh come on Lily."

"No Sirius. I'm not having any of that 'is the baby here yet' crap that I had last time."

"James she's meaner this time than last time."

Lily watched as Remus took hold of Sirius' shoulder and turned him around. They left followed by Peter. As they went James called that Alice was across the hall with Frank and Neville. Peter appeared again and asked who Neville was and James pointed him over. Lily laughed looking at James.

"He can be a little slow sometimes our Wormtail."

"I just can't believe you've sent Alice Sirius. She's going to love us for that."

James laughed squeezing Lily's hand. Then she turned to the Healers to await their commands.

The hours slipped by all too slowly for Lily. She watched as the 30th July ended and the 31st began. Then around about nine in the morning she felt the contractions really start up. She gripped James' hand as tight as possible as she was given the command to push.

"Knock knock."

Lily couldn't open her eyes as she heard the three men enter into the room. She felt James move from her side as he walked towards his three oldest friends.

"I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of the Potter family."

Lily slowly opened her eyes and watched as the three men leaned over the bundles to look at the small baby wrapped up tightly.

"He looks like you Prongs."

Sirius sounded in awe as he spoke.

"I think his eyes are shaped like Lily's though."

She watched Peter tilt his head back and fore as he looked at her babies eyes. She thought that he was probably right. He looked just like James to her, except for his eyes. They were the same almond shape as hers. And she felt almost certain that in a couple of days they would go from the baby blue to a green like her own.

"So what's the name then?"

At Remus' words they all turned to look at her. She sighed and shrugged.

"We were thinking Jonathon or Christopher."

"John… John look at me I'm your uncle Sirius. No he doesn't seem to like that one."

"Chris… Chris do you like that name? No reaction to that either."

Peter gave a small shrug at his failed attempt. Lily shook her head as she watched Remus leaning over the bundle still in James hands.

"Well as long as you don't start calling him Tom, Dick or Harry we'll be fine."

There was a gurgleish sort of sound at Remus' voice and he stood up quickly looking at them.

"I didn't do anything!"

James though was looking at the blankets in his hands.

"Tom…"

Nothing.

"Dick…"

Nothing

"Harry…"

The gurgle sounded again and he looked up at Lily his mouth open. Sirius jumped up next to him again and looked at the baby.

"Harry?"

Another gurgle.

"Well we've found out what he's called then. Good one Moony!"

Remus still had his mouth open at Sirius' words. He looked from the baby to James and then his eyes locked with Lily's.

"I didn't do anything."

Lily though smiled and spoke softly.

"Harry Potter… the next chapter of the Marauders."


	119. One Hundred Nineteen

Chapter 119

Severus Snape dropped the paper onto the table lowering his head into his cupped hands. The front page held a picture of two young couples looking happy sat at a bar together. It was an old photograph he was aware of that, however the story that followed it wasn't old. No the Prophet had learned from 'a reliable source' that the Longbottoms and Potters had extended their families. Yes two small baby boys one born on July 30th and the other July 31st.

He hadn't bothered to read any further of what was printed. He had all the information that he needed already. Yes Lily had been right to fear the prophecy he had heard. Not for the first time he silently wished that he hadn't given the message to his master.

Did he feel guilty? No not at all. Why should he feel guilty for doing what was expected of him? No. Yet beneath his instance he knew that he did feel guilty. The meeting with Lily would run through his mind when he lay in bed just before sleep. The look in her eyes when the truth about her daughters death became clear. The sound of her voice and the small tears that she pushed back into her eyes.

He needed to repay her. He needed to show her that underneath the tough act he was still Severus Snape, her best friend. Time had changed them, hell it had changed their world. But something had remained, something lingered of the young boy he had once been. He remembered being sat in a clearing watching the red headed youngster. Knowing from her presence that she was like him. But that wasn't the only attraction.

The girl he had seen was confident, she was clever and witty. It was clear to him that she was from a good home life. The hours that he spent with her had become his escape as a child. With her he felt that everything was right with the world. For a couple of hours a day he could forget about his fathers drinking and his abusive manner. He could forget the fear that lingered behind his mother's smiles. He could and never would understand that. She had been a witch and had the power to smash his father's skull in and yet she never did. Was it weakness as he had always thought or was it love?

Love was never something that he considered as a strength before. No love was a weakness that led you to do the stupidest of things. And yet where Lily was concerned he was prepared to accept a weakness. If weakness meant that he could have her he would happily be weak for the rest of his life.

"Snape you better get to the study now."

Severus looked up to see Lucius Malfoy leaning against the doorway. A smirk lingered on his face as he observed the younger man. Lucius Malfoy was a man who was in love, he was a man with a weakness and yet to Severus it seemed well hidden. Most of the Death Eaters had married into powerful families and produced children to keep the bloodline going. And yet he had spied Lucius with his wife and new son. He was a man filled with love towards his family.

As Severus walked passed him he wondered why he shouldn't be allowed it. He could just picture a massive fight somewhere. The Dark Lord would kill that fool Potter and Lily would be left once more as a widowed woman. But this time Severus would be there for her. He would be the one to comfort her and show that the youngster he had been was still there, just well hidden. Why wouldn't he be allowed to love her?

But of course he already knew the answer to that. She was the child of muggles. She was a magic stealer. She didn't deserve the magic that she had control of. Not by the thinking of those that he associated it, with his master. But Severus couldn't help but think differently of Lily. She was the only muggleborn who deserved her magic. She was the only one that should be left to live, to live with him as his wife. And yet no matter how often he imagined just that he knew truthfully that it would never happen. He would never be allowed her; she would never give herself fully to him in that way. Not after Sammie.

Before he realised it the door to the study was opened by a masked man and he walked into the room. As was custom he kept his face bent towards the floor as he entered. The swish of a cloak sounded and he dropped onto his knees crawling forward towards his master. He lowered his lips to the hem of the robes and slowly stood up. Keeping his face bent he took two steps backwards.

"Severus."

With that he finally looked up and looked into the face of the man that most in the wizarding world now feared. Red snake like eyes meet his dark eyes. Both men were extremely pale looking as though neither had stepped out into the daylight in years. Which for one of the men was true.

"You wished to see me."

A twisted smile came to the elder's face.

"Indeed. You are shaper than some of my other followers and will no doubt have noted the date."

"Yes master. We are in the third day of August."

"And that is significant isn't it Severus."

Severus kept his mind clear locking those thoughts that he knew that he never wanted his master to know of.

"The boy of the prophecy has been born."

"Very good Severus. And I expect that by now you have seen the paper. Very helpful the Prophet have been to me without evening knowing it. You see I have carefully been thinking through the words that you brought me. _Thrice defied _there are few alive who can claim that."

"I am surprised that there are any my Lord."

"You flatter me Severus. But there are only two couples that can claim that. And as the Prophet have announced both couples now have sons _born as the seventh month dies_."

"You mean the Longbottoms and the Potters my Lord."

"Yes the Potters."

Severus could see the flash behind the Dark Lord's eyes and something stirred in him. He knew almost with certainty that the man was already making his choice. And Severus could see what that choice would be. And something else stirred in him, a memory of his last meeting with Lily and a promise he had made.

"Surely master you can't believe that the Potter child will be the one."

"And why is that Severus?"

"He is a half-blood. He is the son of a Mudblood! He can be no match for you, you who are all powerful. But the Longbottom boy on the other hand he is different. He comes from pure stock on both sides. He is as pure as most that serve you. He must be the one that you should consider."

"You are a half-blood Severus. Are you telling me that you believe yourself to be less than someone such as Crabbe or Goyle?"

"I am nothing special my Lord. I have worked hard for many years to be skilled in my art."

"But you are a half-blood and as you have proven you are a threat to pure bloods."

"Only those who oppose you."

Severus could see how this argument was going. However he was surprised by the way it changed.

"We are not very different you and I. My father was a useless, pathetic Muggle."

Severus couldn't help but gasp.

"Yes I too am a half-blood. So you see I can see that the Potter boy will be the one that will cause problems for me. The Pure bloods will make a fuss but it is the half-bloods that are left to the fighting. Because when all is said and done we are the ones with more to prove."

"But surely the Potter boy will not fight you, not after his sister…"

"No that will drive him on. His love for family will be his greatest downfall. Another thing that we have in common Severus. We love only ourselves and not others. That means that we are stronger that there is none for them to hold over us. Yes the Potter boy will be driven on by love. He is the one that the prophecy speaks of. I am sure."

"But there is still a chance –"

"Indeed but he is the one that I shall target. You see I have a plan Severus. The prophecy speaks of him having the power to destroy me, well not if I destroy him first. He is an infant and his powers are yet to be prominent. I will strike now before he has the chance to learn of them."

"But Longbottom -"

"This is annoying Severus. But perhaps you are correct in your assumption. I believe that I shall have to take both boys out. I shall kill the Potter boy and when he is dead I will then take out the Longbottom child also."

Severus felt a lump in his throat at that. He knew that there would be no changing his mind. But maybe there was still a way.

"Are you only going to kill the boys, or the entire family?"

"Oh I think it will be safer to take out the families. What is to say that they will not have more children who will be born with the same power? They must all die."

"But master it is highly unlikely that another child will be born with that power. Surely you will only have to kill the boys."

"NO they will all die Severus!"

"Even the mother."

The red eyes turned to him and he could feel the pushing of his mind. But he kept his thoughts away for the most. But he allowed one image forward. A small girl with flaming red hair on a swing set with another girl with blonde hair. The red head jumped off the swing and showed the other some harmless magic.

"Ahh Miss Evans … or should I now say Mrs Potter."

"Yes my Lord."

"You are the same age, in school together."

"Yes my Lord."

"You love her."

"No my Lord. She was once my closest friend."

"And you wish to protect her."

"Yes master."

"But she has sided with Dumbledore. She has fought against us all these months. She can not be allowed to live."

"I beg you master for this one thing. I have never asked you for anything and only served you as a devoted follower. I ask now for you allow for her to live. You can kill her husband and her son I don't care. But please let her live."

"And if I do Severus it will be love, her love that will push her on. It will be love that gives her the strength to fight against us. She will die either way at the wand of me or my followers. If you care for her at all don't you think that it would be better to allow her to die with her family and not make her live without them?"

Severus allowed is lids to close and opened them slowly.

"Yes my Lord."

"Good. Then we shall make preparations. Be ready when I call. We shall attack Godric's Hollow and kill the family that pose any threat to me."

Severus bowed low and walked backwards out of the room. As the door shut he knew what he would have to do. He had sworn that if he couldn't get the Dark Lord to choose the Longbottoms he would join Dumbledore. Yes he would ally himself with the man he hated to save the woman he loved. He would do anything at all if it meant that she would live.

* * *

I want to take this moment to answer one question that seems to keep coming up. That is the question of the ending. Well you see I have another major twist planned for this story. And Lily and James are killed when Harry is one. So that means I have another year of their lives to cover. So I have planned maybe another 50 chapters. I honestly think that this story is going to be close to 200 chapters when it is finished. So there is still a lot to come

Kris xx


	120. One Hundred Twenty

Chapter 120

The rattle of the letter box brought Lily back to the present. She had been dozing on the sofa while Harry took his nap in his Moses basket. The boy stirred and gave a little cry. Lily bent over and picked him up gently.

"Shh little one. Come on it was only the Postman."

She walked to the front door and picked up the letter that sat on the mat. A smile came to her lips as she noted the handwriting. Ripping the envelope she looked at the card with a picture of a stork carrying a small boy. Inside was simply written 'love Petunia, Vernon and Dudley'.

Lily headed back into the living room and added it to the small collection that they had gathered. There were cards from Sirius, Remus, Peter, Frank and Alice. There was one from Albus and Moody. There were a number from Order members, Aurors and Healers that they worked with. Then hidden in a draw upstairs was one from Severus addressed solely to her.

Harry gave another wail and Lily tilted him a little.

"Surely you can't be hungry again!"

She pressed her finger against his mouth and felt him suckle it. With a small sigh she walked up the stairs to his nursery. Lowering herself onto the rocking chair she positioned him and felt his lips on her as he once more began to suckle.

"Appetite like your father. And I'll bet you'll be just like him and not put any weight on!"

She gave a little sigh as she watched his dark head move forward and backwards slightly as he took milk. She couldn't help the small smile on her lips though. He was just like James. His features were so similar in every way bare one. Looking at him there was only one ouch of her in him. Her eyes. She had been right, slowly they were changing. But until James' dark hazel eyes Harry's were going lighter, turning greener with every passing day.

After a while she felt his lips move and watched him yawn. Quietly she placed him in his cot and watched as he blinked several times before his eyes finally closed for good. Turning as silently as she could she left the room and closed the door a little. As she headed towards the stairs she passed the closed door to the other bedroom.

She paused and rested her hand on the door. It had been a very long time since she had last entered this room. She just couldn't bring herself to do it most of the time. Slowly though she felt the handle in her hand and pushed the door open.

Nothing had changed. Slowly she turned her head taking in the walls. The pale blue of a frosty morning. There were fluffy clouds painted on as if clouds and a stadium. Turning though to the other wall she couldn't help but grin looking at the faces of so many people that she had loved and lost.

Painted on broom sticks were Four people, all with smiles on their faces as if having the time of their lives. Which they probably would be since flying was their great joy. Sirius was hitting a bludger sticking some sort of pose as he did so.

Then there was Gideon waving his bat in the air as though waving at the person who was looking at the painting. Just off from him was Lyn, leaning low onto her broom looking over to them with her cheeky grin as wide as she remembered. Then of course Larry sat on his broom all prime and proper. His eyes were sparkling with joy as he looked at of the painting.

Next of course there were the stands. A mixture of blurred faces stared out, but there were four faces that were clear. There was Peter stood on his sheet with a scarf held above his head as though he was waving it cheering on his team.

Next to him was Remus holding a bottle in his hand. His eyes were focused on the game and she could see that his fingers were crossed for luck. Fabian was stood next to him with a arm resting on his shoulder as if relaxed. Some sort of burger was in his hand heading towards his mouth.

The last clear face was James. He was stood the other side of Peter was looked as though he was cheering the team on. His knees looked bent so it was probable that he was about to jump in the air, or had possibly just landed from his jump.

Lily's eyes scanned to the last part of the painting. The grass. It was like a memory from a past life as she looked at it. Carly was spread out on the grass with her arms crossed behind her head, watching the fliers without caring about the outcome.

Then there was Eddie with his hands cupped over his mouth. He was shouting instructions to the players. Or at least that's what it looked like. Lily could imagine him screaming at them to dodge and score. He had always been an avid supporter.

Of course stood next to Eddie was a picture version of herself. She had one hand shielding the sun from her eyes while using the other to point to the players. Although each part was separate when it came together it was like a real match and Lily could just remember times when it had been that way for all of them.

She refused to let the tear that sat in her eye fall as she lowered herself onto the 'big girls bed' that they had bought for Sammie not long before her death. Sat on the end was the little stuffed toy of Larry. She looked at it thinking of what she had really lost. She had lost one family and now had a new one. Yet the old one overlapped. She just wished that she could have the people she had loved back. But that wasn't life.

"Sammie, I know you're listening. I'm sorry sweetheart. So very sorry."

She leaned over and picked up an old bear which had been one of Sammie's favourites. She held it to her chest and took a big breath.

"You have a brother darling. I know you wanted a brother. Someone you could play Quidditch with when you were older. Someone who could help you play tricks on your dad and Sirius. Well you have your brother."

She grinned thinking about the trouble that they could have gotten into.

"He's lovely Sammie, he really is. We've named him Harry James Potter, or just Harry. It's a funny story but your Uncle Remus gave him the name in a round about way. But he looks just like your dad, and he has mummy's eyes."

"And when he's older we're going to share with him all the stories about his big sister. And Sammie he will love you as much as we all do. We miss you darling."

Lily closed her eyes as she laid her head on the pillow. She only meant to sit there for a few minutes but she was still there when James returned from work, fast asleep.

* * *

I want to say that I'm quickly running out of pre-written chapters for this story. And due to the shifts I'm working at the moment I haven't got the time to write more. So I'm not sure when the next post will be. It all depends on when I can type it up. But hopefully you will get another chapter within the next two weeks ... I hope

Kris xx


	121. One Hundred Twenty One

Chapter 121

With a blinding jagged jet of white light Albus Dumbledore arrived at the hilltop. Wind billowed around him causing his beard to fly up in front of his face for the briefest of moments. It was at that exact moment that he saw the man in front of him.

"Don't kill me!"

Albus stared at the young man carefully before speaking.

"That was not my intention."

The man for a moment looked relieved. For a moment silence floated between them and Albus took in the man's appearance. He had changed somewhat from the schoolboy that Albus had known. Still as pale as before and with lanky grease clad hair. This man had lost all innocence though. Before he had been a troubled youth trying to find his way. Well he had certainly found something.

"Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?"

"No – no message – I'm here on my own account!"

Severus Snape began to wring his hands in a way that signalled that he was at a loss. Albus watched as the young mans hair flew around his face hiding his features to an extent. But from the way that he was holding himself Albus could tell that the man was worried. What for though he was uncertain.

"I – I come with a warning – no, a request – please –"

It was difficult to hear what was being said. It was stupid to try and talk with this wind. Albus though wasn't stupid. That was the precise reason for this meeting place. The youngster was worried about being overheard. But there was something he could do. With a flick of his wand and a silent spell the sound died away. The only indication that it was still windy was the movement of their hair.

Now that there was silence Albus was intrigued by this meeting. He knew more about Severus Snape than maybe others realised. Son of one Eileen Prince an average witch who had married a muggle. Severus had had a tough childhood and when entering Hogwarts it hadn't become much easier for him. There he mixed with boys who later joined the forces of Voldemort. Severus had followed them; yes Albus knew he was a Death Eater. And he hadn't forgotten that it was Severus who had been spying on him in the Hogs Head.

"What request could a Death Eater make of me?"

"The – the prophecy … the prediction … Trelawney …"

"Ah, yes. How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"

Although it seemed like a simple request Albus felt his heartbeat increase slightly. He had been wondering about that for a long time now. He knew that both the Longbottom and Potter family were on guard with regards to it, but he felt to blame. He needed to know how much was known to the others, and yet his sources had come up blank.

That hadn't surprised him though. Not at all in actual fact. He didn't expect Voldemort to boast this information. After all it was relating to his downfall. No he would hold that information close, and this was the only man that could shed any light on it for him.

"Everything – everything I heard! That is why – it is for that reason – he thinks it means Lily Evans!"

Albus hid the small amount of surprise that he felt. He thought back to the years when Lily and Severus had been in Hogwarts. Yes they had been friendly; they had been brought up in the same small town in England, in the muggle community. But he was sure that their friendship had ended years before they had left Hogwarts.

Yet there was something that lingered in Severus face. Albus remembered that look, he had once worn a similar one when realising that he would have to fight _him_. It was the look of defeat, defeat for the one that you love. It was clear in that moment the truth that Severus had hidden for years, he loved a muggleborn, he loved Lily Potter.

"The prophecy did not refer to a woman. It spoke of a boy born at the end of July –"

"You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down – kill them all –"

The panic was clear in the mans voice. He was petrified for his childhood friend, for the woman he loved. Although Albus knew that on leaving this meeting he would go to the Potters and tell them this information he didn't see the need for Severus to know that.

No in fact Albus felt anger boil in his veins. Why should he have to save the Potters? This man was a talented wizard in his own right. He had chosen the path he now trod. He had aided Voldemort in ways that Albus knew were illegal and dangerous for anyone. So why shouldn't he seek mercy for his old friend with his new master. This was something he felt he had to ask.

"If she means so much to you. Surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"

"I have – I have asked him –"

Bile rose to his mouth but Albus swallowed it. This man made him sick. Even though he had expected it, he had hoped that Severus hadn't sunk that low. He had hoped that this man wasn't so far gone to want to give a helpless child to save a grown woman.

"You disgust me. You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"

Something shifted into Severus Snape's eyes. Albus recognised the despair. He could see the want to have Lily alone for himself. But then there was a shift. Something changed and he shrugged. But his voice became quicker showing the urgency of what he was saying.

"Hide them all, then. Keep her – them – safe. Please."

"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"

"In – in return? Anything."

Albus looked at the man closely.

"You will become my spy."

"And go against the Dark Lord?"

"You were prepared to come here and ask me to save a woman that he has deemed a threat."

"Yes so that he would see clearly that it is the Longbottom boy that is the one he should consider the threat!"

"You make me sick Severus. But these are my terms. I need somebody to pass information to me regarding the inmost workings of Voldemort's circle. I have minor spies but nobody as close to him as you. You will work with me now Severus, that is the only way to save Lily."

The man gulped and looked around to buy time.

"And you promise that you will warn Lily and make sure that she is safe."

"I give you my word that I will do everything I possibly can."

The dark eyes of the young man met his clear blue ones.

"It's a deal."


	122. One Hundred Twenty Two

Chapter 122

Lily closed her eyes as she rested her head on James' shoulder. Harry had been in bed for an hour and for the first time in days she felt relaxed. Things had been hectic since she had returned home. Bathilda Bagshot was starting to become like furniture to their cottage, she spent that much time there. Lily tired to explain that she wanted to get some rest and alone time, but the older witch took no notice.

Then on the times that she did manage to get her to leave Sirius would turn up. Or Remus or even sometimes Peter. Each man reacted differently to her requests. Peter would head straight into the kitchen and start banging around looking through their stores. He'd go and buy more supplies and stay there for hours making something good for them to eat.

Lily would usually sit in the chair almost sleeping, and then another bang and she'd be awoken. She didn't mind Peter turning up, he cooked. She just wished sometimes that he was quieter so that she could nap.

Sirius was another one of those noisy guests that she had to put up with. But it was noisy in a different way. He would run up the stairs and poke Harry until the baby started crying. Then he would run downstairs with the boy pronouncing him awake. Then he'd try to play with him and find out that babies that small don't play. He'd then get board and look at Lily to help him put the baby back to sleep.

The only one that seemed to respect her need for quite time was Remus. He'd send her up to bed while he'd clean up the mess that Sirius had made when round last. He'd see to Harry when he started crying. He changed nappies, sang lullabies of some kind. He told the small boy stories. The only thing that he was unable to do was feed him.

"Sirius said that he came round earlier."

Lily opened her eyes and looked at James. She nodded slowly as a yawn slipped from her lips.

"Can you explain to him that Harry is too young to play yet? And maybe remind him that sleeping babies shouldn't be woken up all the time."

James chuckled lightly kissing Lily's forehead.

"He's just excited. Finally he's got somebody the same mental age as himself."

"I thought he already had you for that."

James jabbed Lily in the rib as she gave him a cheeky grin. Then he wrapped his arms around her pulling her close.

"You need some rest."

"Well it is difficult what with Harry, Sirius and Peter. I swear Remus is the only one to realise that I like to sleep when Harry sleeps."

"I'll talk to the guys; see if I can get them to give you a little space for a while."

She looked into James' hazel eyes and gave him a little smile.

"I don't mind them being here, I like it when the house is full. I just wish that Peter wouldn't bang the pans so loudly and that Sirius would be content to play with Harry when it isn't nap time."

"I'll talk to them."

She nodded placing her head back onto James shoulder. A yawn slipped from her lips again and she battled to keep her eyes open.

"Have you spoken to Frank lately?"

"Yes I meant to tell you. His mother has finally gone back home and Alice is settling into normality of some sort. He reckons that she's shattered too mind. And probably a little lonely. She hasn't got so many people visiting her. So I might have suggested that maybe you and Alice would get together maybe once or twice a week."

"I don't mind that, we can put the babies to bed and both sleep on the chairs together."

James laughed this time giving Lily another kiss on the head. She felt her skin tingle at his gentle touch. She loved the fact that after all this time the chemistry was still there between them. She loved James now more than she had ever loved him before.

A knock resounded through the house and James jumped up swearing slightly. He ran towards the front door as Lily twisted her head to listen upstairs. There was no sound and she released the breath she had been unaware of holding.

James walked back into the room with a strange look on his face. Before Lily could ask she noticed Albus Dumbledore walk into the room behind him.

"Please excuse the time of my call I felt that this couldn't wait."

"What is it?"

James sounded anxious as he lowered himself onto the sofa next to Lily. The Hogwarts Headmaster chose a chair a little to one side and lowered himself into it. He folded his fingers in front of him and made a small sigh.

"I have received some news regarding the prophecy that we have spoken of."

His eyes were sombre and Lily knew what it was before he could speak. She felt the beginnings of tears stir in her eyes and to her horror felt them drop onto her cheek. She muttered one word over and over again as she kept eye contact with the older man.

"No."

James though wasn't as quick on the uptake on this occasion.

"What is it?"

"James …"

Lily's voice sounded small and distant to her own ears. Her husband took her hand and she could feel his thumb rubbing over it in a soothing manner.

Albus moved his eyes to James and Lily listened through her tears.

"Voldemort has marked Harry out as the boy the prophecy speaks of."

The tears flew wildly from Lily's eyes. James though was as calm as ever.

"Alright. So how is that different to before? We've been targets for years. Of course he was going to come after us; I bet he'll even still go after Frank and Alice. And as for us, well we'll just keep fighting."

"James –"

"Lily we have to fight. What else is there to do?"

"There is something else that you could consider."

They looked away from each other back to Albus. He was composed but Lily was sure that he felt something else looking at them.

"You could go into hiding."

"WHAT? No way! I am not going to hide my head in the sand while my friends are out there risking everything to take that bastard down. It's out of the question."

"What about Harry?"

James turned back to Lily. His eyes were wide.

"We'll take care of him. We'll keep him safe."

"James maybe hiding will be the safest thing for him."

He dropped her hand and looked disgusted. Lily was still crying but for an instant tried to stop them.

"You can't be serious. No way Lily! I'm not some coward. I swore that I would do everything I possibly could to defeat Voldemort. I'm not just going to sit back now. I'm an Auror I can't not fight!"

"But –"

"But nothing."

Lily sniffed and looked away from James. Her eyes connected with Albus' and she noticed that he looked how she felt. That more than anything else panicked her.

* * *

Okay so the thing I have been dreading has finally happened. I've now run out of post. I can't believe that its happened as I usually write as much as I can ahead and make sure that when I'm down to the last few chapters I write more. But due to problems at work which I'm not going to get into I've fallen behind. So hopefully I can get something written up and ready for you all next week. Otherwise it might be two weeks before another post. I am really sorry and I am working on more post. It's just trying to write it around work is a little harder now that we're into the swing of Christmas and all those extra shifts!

Kris xx


	123. One Hundred Twenty Three

Chapter 123

The echoes of footfalls made Lily jump. She turned to see Sirius come running into the small church. She noticed that at least he was dressed in a shirt and black trousers. He stopped just short of them and strolled the last few steps.

"Sorry, practice."

"It's alright Padfoot."

James and Sirius shared smiles as Lily turned to look back at the priest.

"And the Godmother?"

"There isn't one."

Lily spoke softly as she cradled Harry to her chest. She felt exposed in the church with so few people about. The priest merely nodded.

Harry's Christening was suppose to be a big thing but Lily couldn't bring herself to make it such. The memories of Sammie's Christening still haunted her thoughts. The fight between Vernon and James, Sirius and Gideon joining in, and even Carly and Petunia. The argument between her and her father and leaving home. That had been the last time she had seen her parents alive.

That Christening had been a massive affair. All her parents church friends, her and Larry's old friends. It had been a proper celebration, a time that although had been filled with danger had been happy. Lily didn't think she could feel like that this time.

She and James had actually argued about a Christening. James had deemed it unnecessary and insisted that they should just call Sirius Godfather and forget the act itself. She felt differently. Although she had turned her back on her upbringing this was one thing that she couldn't. The truth was that she was worried. Although logic told her that James was right she needed to have it performed. Her mind kept wondering what would happen if Voldemort turned up and killed Harry and he hadn't been christened. She needed it done for her, more than for Harry.

There had been a lot of arguments and James had refused. Lily had thrown a china plate at his head missing by inches. She had yelled that he had refused to consider going into hiding without considering her feelings and so she would have Harry christened whether he liked it or not.

In the end he had settled and yelled fine at her. The atmosphere had been tense and lethal. He had insisted that Sirius would be Godfather and that would be it. Lily had wanted to ask Remus, she had wanted to ask Alice to be Godmother. But she knew that it was easier to just agree with James. And so Sirius was the sole Godparent to Harry.

"Are there to be any guests?"

She was brought back by the priest. James must have answered the question because he took Harry from Lily and asked the questions. She, James and Sirius answered the questions and watched as Harry's head had water placed on it. He squealed and wriggled against it and she could see the laughter on Sirius' face.

She was handed Harry back and watched as the priest lit a candle. He said a blessing and James was given that. Then thanking him the three left the church.

"Is that it?"

"Yep Padfoot, you're a Godfather now."

"Does that mean he has to support Puddlemere now?"

Lily couldn't help the small laugh as she bundled Harry up and walked quickly across the village. She couldn't help but look around her, she was sure she was being watched. She could no longer feel safe outside the home. She gave a small glance at James and Sirius laughing in conversation together.

She wished that James would consider going into hiding for their protection. But she knew what the truth was. He couldn't go away without Sirius. He didn't want to leave his friend behind. And there was no way in hell that Sirius Black would ever leave society. He loved being out, he loved freedom. He would never be able to cope being locked up, and therefore neither could James.

* * *

I know this is really short, but it's a Christening. There's only three of them there and well I didn't see the point of going on and on when nothing really happens. The important thing about this chapter is that Lily and James are no longer seeing eye to eye. Watch that it will become important.

Kris xx


	124. One Hundred Twenty Four

Chapter 124

Lily opened the front door and smiled as she stepped aside letting Alice in. It had been just over a month since she had last seen her friend. Alice looked well Lily noted that. The weight she had put on over the pregnancy had fallen off her. Yes she looked tired but then Lily knew that feeling.

"Come in Alice. I'm sorry that we haven't been able to do this sooner."

"If Harry is anything like Neville you've probably spent the last month just wanting to sleep."

Lily nodded with a soft laugh as she closed the door. She followed Alice into the living room and watched as she made a funny noise as she looked at Harry.

"Look at him Lily! He's gorgeous."

Lily just smiled. She had to agree that her Harry was gorgeous. He was a little on the small side but that didn't matter. He was in almost every way the spit of James, the only difference were his eyes. No matter how you looked at him they were her eyes, from the shape down to the exact same shade of green.

"Well let me look at Neville then!"

Alice turned and gave a little smile as Neville was handed over to her. He had grown since she had last seen him. As much as Harry looked like James, Neville looked like Alice. He had the same round face, the smile he wore matched Alice's perfectly. But Frank was in him, he had his father's nose and his eyes were the same blue as his dads. Although his blonde hair seemed to have been inherited from his mother.

"Who's going to be a little heartbreaker then?"

Alice sat down on the sofa. Lily watched and wasn't at all surprised that she had picked Harry up.

"Oh I think Harry is going to be the heartbreaker Lily. Neville is going to the wing man!"

The two friends laughed as Lily sat next to Alice.

"I think you're right. Sirius is going to teach Harry how to be a ladies man; he's already threatening me with that. But since Harry and Neville are going to be best friends I think it's safe to assume that Sirius is going to wear off on this one too."

Alice looked up bright eyed.

"Do you really think that they're going to be friends?"

"Of course! How could they not be? Their daddy's work together, their mummy's are great friends. Neville is only a day older than Harry. You know they're both going to grow up together, and then end up in Hogwarts together. I think that there's a friendship to last forever in them."

Alice nodded softly as she looked down at Harry.

"And when Harry has to face Voldemort Neville will be right there next to him."

Lily took her attention from Neville and looked at Alice.

"What?"

"James told Frank about the visit from Albus."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry Lily. You know I thought that I would feel relieved if it wasn't Neville but I'm not. Because it doesn't matter if Voldemort has chosen Harry, it could still turn out to be Neville."

"It might be both of them."

The two women shared a look and Lily sighed.

"I wish there was another option."

"Maybe there is."

"Really?"

"Maybe it will be both of them like you said. Maybe it will take more than just one person to finish him off. Let's face it the downfall will be years away if it rests on our sons shoulders. So maybe they'll have a group like we do. And it will be the group together that does it."

"Can there be a much older person in that group?"

"Well I personally thought that we'd both be there, and the daddy's. And I don't know about you but I can't imagine Sirius not being involved."

"And don't forget Remus Alice. Remus will be there at the end."

The two women gave each other soft smiles. A silence shifted over the room and finally Alice spoke up.

"How are you dealing?"

"Not well. We can't agree on anything."

"Well at least you know that you'll both fight to the death to keep Harry alive."

Lily let Neville pull her finger into his mouth as she looked out of the window.

"There's another way though Alice."

"What?"

"Albus recommended that we go underground. That we hide for a while."

"You want to run away."

"No … yes … I want to do what is best for Harry. Alice he's only a baby and living in the open can't be safe. I want to go into hiding."

"And leave everyone else behind."

"That would be the downside but come on if Voldemort wanted to kill Neville you'd want to go into hiding too."

After a while Alice nodded softly.

"You're right I would. So why haven't you?"

"James refuses to do so. He says that he started out fighting and he's not going to sit back and let other people fight the battle for him."

"That's commendable."

"He's not putting me and Harry first. I know that Frank would leave the battle. He might hate it, but I'm sure that he would try. I'm sure that he would do it and sure if he needed to he'd go out and fight now and again. But he'd come back. James won't even do that."

"You mean he's acting like nothing has changed."

"He doesn't like change. He wants things to be as they always were and he can't see that they're not. He's been out fighting since he left Hogwarts. But now he has a different battle to face and he can't."

"You should speak to him."

"I know."

Lily looked up from Neville with tears in her eyes. Alice scooted over and they hugged as the tears Lily had been fighting to hold in finally found release.

* * *

I'm really sorry that it has taken me so long to post this. So much has been happening. On the bright side I am now up to chapter 131 and I can now tell you that this story is going to be 170 chapters long. I have planned everything out I just need time to write it all now. But there is an end in sight. And I know that the next couple of chapters aren't going to be liked by everyone but I wanted something dramatic to happen. Something that could be a wake up call for everyone. So stick with me because things return to normal in chapter 132!

Anyway I will try to post again this week. But I'm not making any promises.

Kris xx


	125. One Hundred Twenty Five

Chapter 125

James lowered his fork and smiled at Lily.

"That was fantastic. Best thing I've eaten in a long while."

"Better than Peters?"

"Much."

He kissed her lips as he cleared the table. Lily watched silently as the plates started to wash themselves. Her stomach did a flip thinking about what she needed to do. She had to face him. As much as she didn't want to she knew that she must.

"James."

"Yes."

"I want to go into hiding."

She watched as a hunch appeared in his back. That was a sure sign that he was annoyed about something. His arms slid further along the counter and she could just picture his face. His eyes would be closed and his face scrunched so his nose looked odd. Finally he spoke in a harsh cold voice.

"We've already decided that it's not going to happen."

"No you decided James. I think we need to talk about it."

"Fine! We're talking about it Lily. Do you hear the words coming out of my mouth? We can talk about this until we're both blue in the face. But the final answer is always going to be the same. We are not going into hiding."

Lily slammed her fist on the table climbing to her feet.

"You're being unreasonable James. For crying out loud this is our son's safety we're talking about! I know that you've been out there fighting since Hogwarts but now its time to face a different kind of fight."

"No it's the same fight Lily! Voldemort is still out there trying to kill everyone. I can't, no I won't turn my back on the others to save my own skin."

"It's not your skin I'm worried about its Harry's!"

"You don't need to Lily! We're here to protect him."

James spun around and faced her finally. His face was red from the compressed anger that he seemed to be holding in. His left hand was curled into a tight ball making a fist. But what scared Lily was the look behind his eyes. They were burning with annoyance.

"Really? And what about when you're in work?"

"So now you don't want me to work."

"I didn't say that."

"You just did!"

"No what I meant is that when you're in work you can't protect him."

"But you can."

"James that isn't the point."

"What is then?"

"I DON'T FEEL SAFE! James I need to know that we're safe. I need to know that we're somewhere where Voldemort can't find us. Why don't you understand?"

"Nowhere is safe anymore Lily. That is the whole point of fighting. The sooner we defeat Voldemort the better."

"But we can't James? Don't you understand anything? That's the problem. Harry is the one that's going to have to defeat Voldemort. And until that time we have to keep him safe. And we can't do that out in the open. We can't do that while we go out fighting all the time. We can't do that if we're dead!"

"Well then we don't die!"

"AND YOU THINK ITS THAT SIMPLE! YOU THINK THAT IF YOU CHOSE NOT TO DIE YOU WON'T."

"Lily…"

"DO YOU THINK THAT FABIAN AND GIDEON CHOSE TO DIE?"

"Of course not."

"WHAT ABOUT EDDIE, OR CARLY OR LYN OR LARRY. WAS IT THEIR CHOICE?"

"Lily…"

"AND WHAT ABOUT SAMMIE?"

"LILY SHUT UP! THEY DIDN'T CHOOSE TO DIE BUT THEY DIDN'T FIGHT TO LIVE EITHER."

"YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN FIGHT TO LIVE WHEN HE WANTS YOU DEAD. JAMES THAT'S STUPID! WE HAVE TO GO INTO HIDING."

"AND GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON?"

"I can't lose another child."

The fight in Lily was dying. Tears sprang to her eyes and she swatted at them trying to brush them away. James seemed to deflate a little as he reached over towards her. But Lily took a step backwards.

"James I know you don't want to give up the fight but I need you to do this for me. I need you to do this for our family."

"But what about what everyone else needs? They need me to fight."

"They'll understand."

"Maybe Lily I need to fight…"

Lily shook her head and turned away from her husband. Bowing her head a little she walked out of the room and up the stairs to Harry's nursery. Behind his door was a bag that she had packed earlier. Shouldering it she moved to her son and gently lifted him from his cot.

As she arrived back in the living room James stood up from his seat.

"I thought you'd gone to bed."

"I'm going to ask you this one more time James. Will you go into hiding?"

"I can't."

Lily lifted the bag higher onto her shoulder and it caught James' attention.

"What's that?"

"A bag."

"I can see that."

"I can't do this James. I can't sit by and wait for Voldemort to come and kill us all. If you won't go into hiding I'll go without you."

"Don't be silly…"

"Don't bother trying to find us because you won't."

She didn't hear James' reply as she turned on her heels. She felt the pressure build as her surroundings shifted. Then she was far from the home she had for so long shared with James.


	126. One Hundred Twenty Six

Chapter 126

The scent of aged books wafted through the still air. It was a smell that Lily had always contributed to safety. Maybe it was something to do with all the time she had spent in the Hogwarts library as a student. Or maybe it was because finally she felt safe again, if only for a short period of time.

She knew that she wasn't really safe. That if anything she had placed herself and Harry in even more danger. But it was late and night had long settled before she had left Godric's Hollow. Her choices had really been limited. She had needed to find a place where James wouldn't think of looking for her. There was really only one place that fitted that bill.

Her stomach had knotted as she had knocked the door. What if he hadn't been there? What if he had had someone else there? But the look on his face when he had answered the door told her that inside was safety. He had hurried her in slamming the door tight. He had directed her into the living room and headed off somewhere.

Maybe if she had been anyone else she would have worried that he had gone to get Voldemort. That as she sat there her biggest enemy had been alerted to her. That he would appear at any moment. But she hadn't worried about that. No instead she had taken a footstool and transfigured it into a small cot and placed Harry into it.

For ten minutes she sat there humming him lullabies and rocking him gently until once more he was asleep. Then she sat back into the green chair and rested her head on the cushion. She was exhausted. Yet that was just the start of it. She felt like her entire world had started to cave in. She felt like the last two years of her life had been wasted. She felt almost as though her life for a long time had been nothing but a lie.

The soft thud of the door closing brought Lily back to her surroundings. Severus walked across the room and placed a cup of tea onto a small coffee table in front of her. She noted the way his eyes shifted to the sleeping baby and back in an instant.

"You shouldn't come here its too dangerous."

"There was nowhere else for me to go."

Severus looked up and Lily could feel the tears already begin to penetrate her eyes.

"What's happened? He hasn't attacked you yet?"

Lily shook her head as the tears slipped from her lids. Severus was across the small space in a second wrapping his arms tightly around her. She cried and cried into his shoulder unable to stop. She could feel his hands against her back rubbing in a soothing manner. Finally after what felt like a lifetime the tears stopped falling and she pulled back to look at her old friend.

"I'm sorry about that."

"You have nothing to be sorry about Lily. Now tell me what's happened?"

Severus was resting on the balls of his feet. His hands held her tightly and she closed her eyes for a moment.

"I've left him."

Silence followed her statement and then finally the man found words.

"But you'll go back to him."

Lily just shrugged as she rested her head on the arm of the chair.

"Things are so complicated Sev. I can't stay there when he won't even listen to what I have to say. When he doesn't even care about how I feel."

If she had been in any decent state she would have noticed the beginnings of a smile on the man's face. But she wasn't paying that close attention as she shifted her gaze to her son.

"What's happened Lily?"

"Albus came to us a couple of weeks ago and said that Voldemort has decided that Harry is the child that the prophecy concerns…"

Her eyes wondered back to his and she saw his briefest of nods. It was the smallest thing in the world, but enough for her. He had confirmed her fears; he knew that what she spoke of was true.

"Albus suggested that we go into hiding for the sake of Harry. He seems to believe that it is the safest option open to us. But James just shot it down without thinking about it because he wants to fight. He doesn't see that by standing with the others he's putting his family second."

"Have you told him that you feel this way?"

"Of course I have Sev! And that's what annoys me so much. He doesn't care that I want to hide. He doesn't care that I think this is the best thing for Harry. He doesn't care because all he can think about is being out there with Sirius. I've asked him so many times and it always ends up in a fight. Well I'm sick of fighting. I'm sick of being so afraid. I'm sure that every little sound is Voldemort arriving and James doesn't understand. It's almost as though he doesn't really think its happening."

"He's a fool!"

Lily was startled at the strength of passion behind her old friend's voice. Their eyes connected again and Severus spoke gently.

"If I was in his shoes I'd tell you everyday that I value your opinions. I'd listen intently to everything that you had to say. I'd try and see things from your view. And I would always put you and my son first, even before myself."

"You're a good man Severus."

A small smile came to his lips and he looked around in mock.

"Don't let everyone know. You'll ruin my reputation."

Lily laughed gently and leaned forward hugging her friend.

"I know I shouldn't have come here Sev but I need your help. You told me that day that you'd do anything to help me."

"And I meant it."

"Let me stay here tonight and then I'll leave. I'll find somewhere safe and I'll take Harry into hiding. Somewhere were nobody will think of looking."

"Where?"

Lily looked at her friend and instinct told her she could trust him.

"The muggle world. Voldemort doesn't think much of muggles so he'll never expect me to go there. And James, James couldn't live in a world without magic and he could never understand that I would. I know that world Sev, we grew up in it. I'll take Harry where it's safe and keep him away from those that want to hurt him."

She watched as the man stood up and looked away from her. He headed to the fire and watched the dying embers.

"What is it Sev?"

"I wish that you would stay here."

"Sev don't …"

"I wish that I could come with you. I wish that you weren't just running to me as a friend. Lily you must know that I've always –"

"Don't!"

"Loved you."

Severus had turned around and looked at her with so much longing. It was a look that nobody else in the world had ever seen. It was a look that at one time she had wanted to see in his eyes. But that had all changed the day he took his mark. The day he became the thing she hated the most.

"Sev I love you too but as a friend."

"No don't say that. That's the worse thing in the world you could say."

"But it's the truth."

"Lily tell me there's a chance. Tell me that things could work out for us."

"I'm married –"

"To a man you've just left."

"I love him though."

"And you love me too!"

"You're a Death Eater Severus. I couldn't love a Death Eater that way."

"No I was a Death Eater Lily. I'm not anymore."

Lily stood from her seat and crossed the room to the fireplace. Gently she reached out and took the mans arm.

"What do you mean that you're not anymore? I didn't think you could just leave."

"Technically you can't. But I've changed sides Lily. And I did it for you."

"What?"

"I made a promise Lily. I found out that the Dark Lord had chosen your family. I found out that he planned on killing you all. I asked him to reconsider but he just wouldn't. He couldn't even imagine that Longbottom would be the threat. He said that he knew the real threat of your son because he was the same as the Dark Lord."

"HE IS NOT THE SAME!"

"They are both Half-Bloods Lily, just like me. The Dark Lord had a muggle for a father. He claims that the fact that your son has muggle blood in him makes him his equal in some strange and round about way. I tried to make him consider the Longbottom boy but he wouldn't listen."

"So you stopped being a Death Eater?"

"No … I went to Dumbledore. I went and begged him to help you. I asked him to give you the message that the Dark Lord has chosen you. I asked him to protect you, to get you to go into hiding. And in return I promised to be his spy. I promised that I would pass any and all information that I could. I promised to go and work at Hogwarts."

"What? You're going to Hogwarts? But surely Voldemort will know you've changed sides."

"He won't. Slughorn is retiring and they need a new potions master. Everyone knows that apart from you I'm the best –"

"You're better at potions than me Severus."

The man gave a little grin at Lily.

"Maybe just a little."

She laughed and pushed his arm.

"So Voldemort thinks you're just going to teach."

"Yes. And he thinks that it is an excellent idea. To his mind he is placing a spy in Hogwarts. He believes that I will be able to see what steps Dumbledore is taking and feed them to him. He will never consider that I am helping Dumbledore."

"And why is that Severus."

Their eyes locked as he spoke softly.

"Because the Dark Lord underestimates the influence of love."

"Severus –"

"Don't you see Lily everything that I do is for you? You're the driving force in my life."

"Yes but I have a family."

"Lily I'm not asking you to marry me today. I just want to know that there is a chance for us still."

"Sev I love James and for as long as he's alive I'm going to be his wife."

"But you're going into hiding. James is still going to be out fighting. He might die –"

"Don't say that!"

"He might die and you might go on living. Are you telling me that James would want you to spend the rest of your life alone and unhappy if he is dead?"

"Of course not?"

"So there is a chance then?"

Lily closed her eyes and thought her answer through carefully.

"I will love you Severus until my dying breath has left me. You will always be the man that showed me this world, the man that made me feel part of it. But you've hurt me in ways I never thought possible … and yet I still do love you. Maybe if things were different we would be together. But I can't see that happening Sev. Not now and not in the near future."

"I'm a patient man. I'll wait eternity for the right time."

Then he moved forward and she felt his lips on hers. She felt his mouth part as his tongue traced her lips. It was unconscious the way she moved towards him and opened her mouth allowing their tongues to meet. She forgot who it was and felt the kiss of a man who loved her.

A crying sound interrupted them and Lily pulled back. She felt a blush on her cheeks as she moved to the quickly made cot. Picking Harry up she looked at the back of the man standing facing the dead fire.

"Harry and I will sleep in here tonight. We'll be gone by the time you get up…"

* * *

Okay so its taken yet another twist. But don't worry things will have to work out in the end. After all we know how this story is going to end. Anyway I know I posted yesterday and now 2 chapters today. The thing is I'm now basically working everyday until Christmas Day (and then I'm back in work on Boxing Day!) so I'm unsure if I'll be able to post again before Christmas. I will try to get something up either Monday or Wednesday and again I will try to post something on Christmas Eve. But I'm just not sure if I'll be able to. So...

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

Which translated out of Welsh means Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And for those not celebrating Christmas I hope you enjoy whatever it is that you will be celebrating.

Kris xx


	127. One Hundred Twenty Seven

Chapter 127

The morning sun barely penetrated through the dark clouds as Lily closed the door behind her. She felt sick in the stomach as holding Harry tightly she took a step away. It wasn't the house that she was leaving that made her feel that way though, it was the world. She had spent her last night in the company of the wizarding world for how long, she couldn't guess.

Lily refused to turn around and look once more at the house. To the naked eye it would look like nothing. But the man standing in the upstairs window would sway her. No she didn't want to stay with Severus, no she wasn't in love with him. But she liked what he represented. All those years ago he had been the one that stood for the wizarding world that she would enter, and once again he stood for that world, only now she was leaving.

Holding tightly to her son Lily spun on the spot and with a pop she was gone. The pressure build up was as intense as ever and then it faded away. Her ears popped once more as the surroundings so different to where she had been came into focus.

Before she had been stood in a run down area where all the houses looked untidy. They stood pushed together as if there had been no space to build them with a space. But now she was stood in a clean well cared for area. Each house stood a little apart from the next with neat little rows of gardens in the front.

Harry gave a little gurgle and Lily bounced him slightly as she walked up a path to number four.

"Are you ready to say hello to your Aunt Petunia?"

The baby blew a spit bubble and laughed as it popped. Lily though just smiled as she rang the doorbell and waited. It was a little past half eight in the morning and the empty driveway signalled to her that Vernon had already left for work.

"How many times do I have to tell you she isn't here?"

An exasperated voice yelled as the door opened. Lily smiled softly as her sister groaned at her appearance.

"It's nice to see you too Petunia."

"What the hell are you playing at Lily? I've had that husband of yours here five times since last night!"

Petunia moved aside and Lily stepped inside the house. It was as tidy as it had ever been. The smell of toast still lingered in the morning air as she strolled into the living room. Dudley was sat in his bouncy chair gurgling to himself. Lily took the bag off her shoulder and pulled out an empty bottle. With a flick of her wand a second bouncy chair appeared and she placed Harry gently into it.

"Do you have to do that?"

"You never had a problem with it when we were kids."

"Yes but now we're adults and I'd prefer if you didn't use magic in my house."

Lily just nodded as she sat on the chair. Petunia made a little fussy noise and then joined her.

"So you and James had a fight then."

"What did he tell you Petunia?"

The older woman made a little sigh and looked at a family portrait on the wall before she spoke.

"He said that you've been having some problems of late. He said that neither of you are seeing eye-to-eye. Then he told me that you took it too far last night and picked Harry up and stormed off."

"I took it too far!"

"That's what he told me."

Lily made an angry groan as she shook her head looking at her sister.

"He was the one being unreasonable. I asked him to put me and Harry first for once and he out right refused. I told him that I don't feel safe living in that house and he told me I was being stupid. I asked him to do one thing for me and he told me it went against everything he believes in."

Lily rubbed her hands against her face as she looked at her sister. Petunia didn't seem happy but Lily knew that she was. Lily knew that her sister was in love and living the life that she had always expected to have. As a little girl Lily had always said that she was going to have a job and make a difference and Petunia had always said that she would have a family. That's how it had turned out.

"I think we need a cup of tea."

Petunia was out of the chair and pottering around the kitchen in seconds. Within five minutes she was back and holding two cups filled with tea.

"Thank you."

They sat in silence for a moment and then Lily spoke up the words that she was beginning to hate so much.

"I'm leaving James."

"Yes I had noticed."

Lily chuckled slightly as her sister put on a look of mock surprise.

"Lily isn't there anything that you can do to save your marriage. He really loves you. I hate to admit it but he looked like a little lost boy last night. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. And he kept coming here. Vernon got annoyed and started yelling but I let him in."

"Did he tell you the reason why I left?"

"No. But he told me that he had been everywhere looking for you. He'd been to see someone called Alice. Those three mates of his, you know with the funny names. That Headmaster bloke from the school. I asked him if he had been to see Severus and he had laughed saying that you'd never go to him. But he didn't tell me why."

Lily placed her cup onto the table and looked at her son.

"You know there's a war right."

"With that Voldemort guy?"

"Yes that's right. Well he's been coming after me and James for a while now. But we've always fought back and escaped. Well a couple of months ago a prophecy was made."

"And?"

"It was about Harry."

The two sisters looked at the babies and silence reigned for a while. Finally Petunia put her cup down and looked at Lily closely.

"What did it say?"

"That Voldemort can only be defeated by one boy whose parents have defied him three times. Oh and the boy had to be born as July ended."

Petunia gasped as her hand flew to her mouth. One word escaped her lips.

"Harry?"

"That's the thing it could be another boy. A friend of ours actually. But Voldemort has made a choice and he has decided that Harry is the one that the prophecy is about. So he's decided that the best thing to do is to kill him."

"But he's only a baby!"

"He doesn't care about that. I'm pretty sure that to his mind that makes it even better. After all a baby can't fight back."

Petunia was shaking her head slowly.

"And this is why you've left James?"

"Yes. The best thing for us to do is to go into hiding to keep Harry safe for as long as possible. But James won't have any of it. He wants to fight. He wants to pretend like nothing is happening. I can't live like that Petunia. I need to know that my son is safe. And if James won't come with me then I'll go on my own."

Her sister nodded slowly. But Lily could tell that she was thinking things through, her forehead had knotted in the way it only did when she was really concentrating.

"How do you know that this guy has really chosen Harry?"

"Severus."

"That bitter and jealous man! He probably only said that so you'd leave James. He's been in love with you for years everyone could see that."

"He didn't make it up Petunia. He really knows."

"And how would he know? What does he work for this Voldemort guy?"

Lily remained silent and Petunia looked at her closely. Her sister seemed to go from mockery into shock within seconds. Her face relaxed and her mouth dropped as her eyes widened.

"Severus works with Voldemort?"

Lily nodded slowly trying to find the right words.

"School divided people. I told you all about Hogwarts when we were younger. Well the house that Severus was put into is the worse. All the evil wizards that have come from Hogwarts were in that house. Severus was surrounded by people who thought that Muggles and Muggleborns were beneath them. He started to think that way and then when he left Hogwarts he followed his friends and supported Voldemort."

Petunia was shaking her head slowly.

"I can't believe that. Severus Snape the man who worshipped you. But then Lily maybe it is a ploy telling you. Maybe this way the other boy isn't protected."

"No Pet. He told me because he wants to save me. He told me that he still loves me and he'd do anything to keep me safe. He's risked everything in telling me this. But it is true. He should know since he was the one to tell Voldemort about the prophecy."

Dudley screamed and broke their conversation. Petunia picked him up and rocked him gently Harry though silently watched as he lifted his foot up and stuck it into his mouth. Lily moved towards him and ruffled his hair. Without turning back she spoke to Petunia.

"You see I have to take Harry and hide away. He's too small to face Voldemort. And when Voldemort wants you dead you die. James and I have been lucky to escape three times. I don't think we'll be able to do it a fourth time. I think the next time we meet Voldemort we'll die."

"Don't say that!"

"But its true Petunia. And that's why I've come here."

Lily sat back up and looked at her sister.

"I know we've had our differences and you don't agree with the choices I've made in life –"

"Lily –"

"I need to know that if anything happened to me and James that you would keep Harry safe."

"How could I? I don't have any magic!"

"You have love Petunia. You love Vernon and you love Dudley. Hell I'm even willing to bet that beneath that serrate you even love me."

"Of course I love you Lily but –"

"That's all I need. Petunia there are lots of people in the wizarding world who would be able to take care of Harry if anything happened to me and James. But they would still be targets themselves. I want him removed from all that, I want him placed somewhere where nobody would think to look at him. I want him to be with his family. And Petunia apart from James you're the only family Harry and I have. Please say that you'll help me."

Petunia stroked at Dudley's head for a while not saying a word. Her eyes were closed and she seemed in deep thought.

"Vernon wouldn't like it."

"Who cares? You're my sister Petunia. We have the same blood running through our veins. Please say that you'll help me. I don't have anyone else!"

Slowly the sisters looked at each other and Petunia nodded her head.

"If the worse happens Lily I swear that I will do everything to help keep Harry safe."

Lily just smiled and hugged her sister.

* * *

First things first. **Happy Belated Hunukah to ShayeBecker**

I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this chapter but I think I'm probably going to be busy getting the last few things ready. So Merry Christmas to you all. I hope that Santa brings you everything that you wanted. And don't get too drunk ;D

Kris xx


	128. One Hundred Twenty Eight

Chapter 128

September flew by and October arrived. The autumn hit hard as the leaves turned to browns and yellows before floating to the ground. The nights began to draw in sooner and the wind started to howl.

Lily closed the window to her flat and turned the kettle on. Transferring back to the life of a Muggle hadn't been that difficult. She had never really expected it to be though. She knew how to use electricity. She understood how busses worked and how to use Muggle money. She appreciated the differences to the wizarding world.

She had thought that she would fell safer this way but she didn't, not really. She missed the protection that her wand had given her. Yes she still carried it around but for over a month it had sat unused and it was likely to remain that way for a long time yet.

She also missed the sound of laughter. There had been no laugher since the night she had left. She missed the sound of James' voice. She missed his touch and his kisses. She missed how he made her feel as if nothing else in the world mattered. She also missed their friends.

But every time she started to get down she would pick Harry up and kiss him. All of it was worth it if it meant he would get to live. Every day she was with him she noticed how he was growing. He was no longer that tiny bungle she had brought home nearly three months ago. He was changing.

Now when she looked at him she saw a little boy. Messy black hair that stuck up in all directions, a long pointed nose and a cheeky grin. He was a miniature James in all but one way. Those eyes were like looking in a mirror. She loved James' eyes and the way they sparkled but everyone always commented on how Harry's eyes were striking. How they made him look so handsome. Lily loved the fact that her son had inherited that from her.

She found that there were times sitting in that flat when she would imagine him older and try to see who he would be like. She could picture him on a broom playing for his house (which she hoped would be Gryffindor.) She could imagine him catching the Quaffle and shooting up the other end of the pitch and getting it through the hoops.

Then there were other things she could imagine. She could see him as a top student. She could see him as a natural potion maker like herself. She could see him casting the best charms just like she had. She could even see him being as good at Transfiguration as his father. She would love him to be the smartest boy in the school making everyone jealous with his gifted ability.

But the thing that outshone all the others was him sitting in detention. Lily could picture him with a friend just like Sirius running havoc over the school. There would be a Remus trying to minimise the impact but that person would never succeed. Yes that was the thing she believed in the most. She was sure that he would get into trouble. How could he not when at just three months old he was on the run.

As the kettle boiled she heard gurgling from the living room. She poured herself some coffee and headed back into the room. Harry was sat in his bouncy chair looking at the bright colours on the TV. She had always thought that her son would grow up away from TV but the colours seemed to entertain him. She knew that the TV was her only friend.

Yes it had been a long time since she had had a friendly conversation. She had left Petunia almost as soon as her sister had promised to take care of Harry if anything were to happen. She had thought long and hard about where she could go. The answer seemed simple. To a city.

But that had been just the start of her problems. Which city? She knew that she wanted to go somewhere where people wouldn't connect her. Her impulse had taken her to Holyhead in Wales. Of course then she thought of the Harpies and left. She had tried Liverpool, Manchester, Glasgow and Birmingham. For three weeks she was only spending a day or two in these places.

Then only two weeks ago she had headed to Wrexham. It seemed like the perfect place. It was filled with markets and shopping centres. It was busy all year round due to its University and its position on the border between Wales and England. She had gone out and rented a flat and moved herself and Harry in.

Of course she didn't know anyone and she planned to keep it that way. The less people that noticed her the less likely it was that she would be found. She needed to stay hidden for Harry's sake.

Gently she picked Harry up from his seat and held him on her lap. She didn't know the last time she had felt this alone. Tears began to form in her eyes and she spent yet another evening crying herself to sleep…

* * *

**HAPPY NEW YEAR**

Hope everyone had a good night. I know that I did.

So I know that this chapter is pretty short but its a build up to the next two chapters. It's setting the scene and showing not only where Lily is but what is going through her mind at the time. I did plan on posting this with chapter 129 but I only have 5 chapters left and a little bit of a problem. At the moment I'm not happy with the chapters that I'm writing for this. I have a plan, I know what is happening in each chapter, but its just not right. So I'm really quickly running out of chapters. However I'm hoping to get at least another 3 or 4 written tomorrow.

But that brings us onto another problem. You see I made a new years res. last night which is going to end up delaying posting. And I'm really sorry about that. You see I've started writing two original stories (one a novel and one a shorter children's like story) which I want to complete (or at least one of them) so my focus is going to be on them. I will try to write as many chapters as possible for this in the next two weeks, but posting is going to be slow.

So anyway enjoy 2008

Kris xx


	129. One Hundred Twenty Nine

Chapter 129

"Harry stop splashing."

Her son laughed as he kicked his legs sending a small wave of water at Lily. He laughed harder as it hit her. She splashed a little water at him as she rubbed the soap over his body. She loved Harry's bath times. They were a real bonding experience.

"Who's a clean boy then?"

She tickled his ribs as he gave another soft laugh. But then a tapping from above distracted her. A tawny owl was sat on the ledge with a letter. Picking Harry out of the water she wrapped him into a towel before opening the window.

"Who are you from?"

The owl just dropped the letter and turned around. She watched it fly away as she took the letter and closed the window tight. Drying Harry she put him into his chair and sat at the table looking at the letter. Her name was written on the front in a hand she knew well.

_Lily_

_I hope that this gets to you and doesn't bring any trouble. I am reluctant to send this but Dumbledore insists that I do. He is somehow aware of the fact that I know you have gone into hiding and he seems to be under some impression that I know where. Not that he has asked._

_But he has ordered me to send this to you. He claims that I am now his man and need to do my bit. Which I seem to think I have been doing. After all it is because of me he found out of an attack at Godric's Hollow._

_Now I know you just gasped and are worrying about James and whatever friends you have there. But you needn't really worry. The attack was stopped early on by the Order that Dumbledore has set up. But there was a bit of trouble._

_You see the Dark Lord seems to be under the impression that James is hiding you and Harry. So he went after him to get the information. Needless to say that a fight broke out and Voldemort left as soon as he spotted Dumbledore. I was among the Death Eaters there; Dumbledore believes it important that I keep my cover._

_But something did happen. And I don't want to tell you this. I have tried to get away without mentioning it. However Dumbledore has read this letter already and has made me add to it already twice. Now he is sitting opposite watching me write every letter. What does he think he can't trust me?_

_Fine. During the attack one Death Eater got a clear shot at James. He is not dead; even though I wish he was so that I could seek you out and comfort you. But he is very much alive. However I suppose that is the only good news that I can give you. He has been seriously injured and is now a resident of St. Mungos. He has already been there for four days and the time this reaches you it may be longer._

_Dumbledore seems to be under the impression that you will care about this. It is my belief that he thinks that you will return to see how James is. But I urge you to stay where you are for the sake of your son. The Dark Lord is still seeking you out. It will not be safe for the pair of you to turn up at the hospital. Please Lily use your brain and don't fall for this trap. _

_Sev xx_

Lily felt bile in her throat as she looked once more at the letter. James was hurt, he was in hospital. She had to get to him and fast …


	130. One Hundred Thirty

Chapter 130

"Hold on! Hold on! I'm coming!"

Lily pounded on the door. Her fist ached but that didn't stop her. Harry was whimpering as her actions became wilder. Neighbours who were putting up Christmas decorations too early (it was only November after all) stopped and watched her.

"What the hell do you want?"

Vernon blocked the doorway placing his fat fists on what should have been his waist. Lily ignored him completely and yelled around him.

"Petunia! Petunia I need your help!"

"We do not help the likes of you. Go away!"

"Petunia James is in hospital! Please I have to go to him."

"Does it look like we're stopping you?"

Lily ignored Vernon completely as she yelled once more.

"Petunia I can't take Harry. It isn't safe for him there. Please Petunia help me!"

"You have no right coming here and asking for our help. We're good people who pay our taxes and raise our son proper. Your kind shouldn't be allowed to ask decent folk like us for help its –"

"Vernon let her in."

Petunia's voice although quiet was enough to make Vernon stop in his rant. Lily was quite thankful for that. She didn't want to listen to Vernon going on about decent people. Vernon Dursley wouldn't know decent people if they danced naked in front of him.

He stepped aside rather reluctantly and Lily ran into the house. She didn't wait as she handed Harry to her sister. He was still whimpering and he turned to Lily large green eyes filled with tears.

"Don't worry Harry. Mummy will be back as soon as possible. And Aunt Petunia is going to look after you until then."

Lily kissed the top of her son's head and looked at Petunia.

"Thanks Pet."

Vernon though seemed to have gathered some of his momentum back from his rant.

"What the hell? Do you think this is a Day Centre or something?"

"Vernon don't –"

"No Petunia. She's taking advantage of you. She got your mother and father killed and now she's just turning up here like this and thinks we can take care of her son. I won't have it!"

"Well go to work then!"

Lily looked from her sister to her brother-in-law. Vernon crumpled his nose making his moustache wobble. Then he threw his shoulders back and picked up his briefcase.

"Don't you cry to me tonight that she's taking advantage of you! I've warned you!"

Lily felt the door slam and that caused Harry to scream. From the living room came the added cries of Dudley.

"Will you be alright with them Pet?"

"Yes. Now go on go to James and you can fill me in when you get back."

Lily nodded giving her sister a small smile as she turned on the spot. With a pop she was gone from the house and arriving in the hospital.

Lily ran up the flights of stairs passing through many of the wards that she had so long worked in. It felt like it had been another life time that she had last walked these very hallways. She pushed the thought of meeting her old colleagues from her mind as she raced into the Hipworth wing.

The ward was as she had always known it. Eight beds lined the walls with a clear walk way up the centre. Six of the beds were occupied only one had somebody sat in the chair next to it. Lily felt the butterflies begin to stir in her stomach.

She couldn't help but remember the first time she saw James again after they broke up. It had been before she had started dating Larry. The similarities were creepy. She remembered that there had been some attack, she couldn't place where. She had been going from bed to bed when a pair of hazel eyes had connected with hers.

In that moment she had blushed red and a tingle just like now had settled in her stomach. It had been awkward especially for her. He'd had his shirt off and she had run her hands up that familiar chest. She had watched his hand go through his hair just as he had done while trying to impress her as a teenager.

He had been alright then and she was sure he would be now. Severus' written words bounced through her brain as she slowly shortened the distance between herself and the bed. _He is not dead. He has been seriously injured and is now a resident of St. Mungos_. He wasn't dead though that was the good news. That had been the small thread she had been grasping. It was that little thing that had allowed her to think clearly enough not to bring Harry to the hospital.

As she reached the end of the bed she picked up the chart and opened it. His temperature, a list of potions he was taking, complaints. His injuries were written at the bottom of the page. He had taken an unknown spell straight to the chest. It had thrown him into a wall causing his right leg to break. According to the notes it had been shattered and two days of bone re-growth had been required to mend it.

There was also mention of a head wound which had caused them some worry at the start. He had been asking for somebody named Lila for three days before it became clear that he meant Lily. Her heart skipped a beat as guilt gripped her. He had been calling for her and she hadn't been there.

Finally the last thing mentioned was breathing difficulties. Lily gasped as she read the complaint. He was suffering from chest pains due to the unknown spell. They didn't think it would have any long lasting effects but were unsure how long it would take him to recover.

"What are you doing here?"

The voice was hard and filled with a hatred Lily had never experienced before. She lowered the chart placing it back on the end of the bed. Her eyes went up and locked with the grey ones.

"He's my husband."

"Pity you didn't remember that before."

"You have no idea Sirius. So why don't you keep your mouth shut."

"NO IDEA! NO IDEA! I'M THE ONE THAT HAS SPENT THE LAST TWO MONTHS WITH HIM. I'M THE ONE THAT HAS TRIED TO HELP HIM THROUGH THE GRIEF OF HAVING HIS WIFE WALK OUT ON HIM FOR NO REASON. I'M THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN HELPING HIM TO TRY AND FIND HIS SON! SO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT!"

Lily didn't rise to the bait. She crossed her arms calmly in front of her chest and looked at the man. She had known all along that Sirius would take James' side in all this. There would be no other side for him. They were best friends and to Sirius' credit when James hurt so did he.

"You may have done all that Sirius but did James tell you the reason why I left?"

"You had a fight. You were being unreasonable –"

"Only Albus knows the truth."

The voice was very weak and sounded strange to Lily's ears. She turned and met the hazel eyes that were locked onto hers. She watched as her husband struggled a little and pushed to sit up. Lily though moved to the side of the bed that Sirius wasn't on.

"Don't try to sit up James. Your chart says you have chest pains. It'll only make it worse."

"Like you'd know."

Sirius' voice was sharp and filled with annoyance. Lily didn't know if it was because of her concern or due to her return. But looking up at the man carefully she spoke in a clear and crisp voice.

"No matter what else Sirius I am still a trained Healer. I've experience in these things. If he sits up he's going to aggravate his chest and maybe put his recovery back a number of weeks."

"You don't know that."

"Have any other healers told him not to sit up?"

Sirius looked down at his designer boots and she knew that he was rubbing his toes against the floor. He always did it when he was proven wrong.

"What are you doing here?"

Lily's attention went back to James and she moved to take his hand. He was quicker than her though and his hand tucked under the blanket before she could reach it.

"I heard about the attack and I was worried."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something but James cut across him.

"Sirius why don't you go get a coffee?"

"I don't want –"

"Coffee Sirius. Now."

The Quidditch player muttered under his breath as he walked down the middle of the room and out of the door. James turned once more to Lily and looked her up and down.

"You look well."

"You don't."

Silence followed the statement for a moment and then James looked up.

"Where's Harry?"

"He's somewhere safe."

"You should have brought him."

"It's not safe James."

"Yes it is."

"James you were attacked in Godric's Hollow. And the reason is because Harry is our son. How can I bring him here? There's probably Death Eaters here working as spies. The moment I came here they probably alerted Voldemort. They're watching for us."

"But I want to see my son."

"You can. As long as you agree to come into hiding with us."

James made a funny sound but remained silent.

"Where are you hiding?"

"That doesn't matter."

"It matters to me."

"Will you agree to come into hiding?"

James eyes clouded over and he shook his head forcefully.

"Hiding isn't the way Lily. If we hide we as good as give up living. And I want to live."

"Well then I won't tell you where Harry and I are living."

Silence engulfed them again. James ran his fingers through his lengthening hair. Now that she was up close she was able to take in his appearance. He looked extremely pale to her, but that could possibly be a side affect of the spell. She was sure he had lost weight but from her position was unable to tell clearly. Then there was the shadow of whiskers sprouting out of his chin. Maybe his hospital stay had prevented his shaving … maybe he had just given up completely.

"Lily what are you playing at?"

She looked straight into her husbands hazel eyes.

"I'm not playing at anything."

"You walk out on me two months ago and I haven't heard a single peep out of you. Everyone we know is anxious about you wondering what has happened. And then you just stroll into the hospital one day as though nothing has happened."

"It's not like that –"

"How did you know I was here?"

"I received a letter."

"From who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It obviously matters! Somebody knows where you're staying, one of our friends and they've refused to tell me."

Lily reached to touch James but he shrugged her hand away.

"Fine be like that then James! But nobody knows where I am. The letter was sent to me by someone who you'll never count as a friend on the orders of Dumbledore. But neither know where I'm staying."

"Snape…"

It came out as a hiss as James face shifted to show even more hatred.

"You went to him the night you left didn't you! Petunia was right. She told me you had and I couldn't, wouldn't believe her."

"It doesn't matter where I went."

"Are you having an affair with him?"

"What? I've never cheated on anyone James. I love you despite how unreasonable you're being."

She sniffed falling quiet as words failed her. James shifted once more in the bed as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Why did you come here today if you're not coming back? Why walk back into my life and taunt me with everything I've lost."

"But you haven't lost me!"

"I haven't got you!"

The words were snarled and filled with anger, or maybe with hurt. Lily blinked tears away but a few managed to escape her eyes.

"James I can't do this. Do you realise how scared I am everyday? I can't go on much longer. I need you. You make me stronger, you make me feel safe. Please James. Please come with me and we can be safe together. Just you, me and Harry."

For the first time since being there James reached out his hand and took hers gently in his. She felt the movement of his thumb up and down in a soothing manner.

"Lily don't you see I can't. I want to be with you and Harry more than anything in the world. You're my family. But I can't sit back and do nothing when I know I have the capability to fight and to make a difference. So what if there's a prophecy that says that only Harry or Neville will be able to finish Voldemort off. It doesn't really matter unless you choose to believe in them. I choose to believe that until Voldemort is truly finished it's my duty to fight. It's my duty to do whatever I can to make the world just a little bit safer. Why can't you see that?"

"I do James. And I know it will be difficult for you at first. Do you think I like sitting out like this? I've lost just as much as you have, maybe even a little bit more. But that's put things in perspective. I need to do this to keep Harry safe. Because you know what … It doesn't matter if I believe that prophecy or not. It only matters if Voldemort does, and we both know that he thinks it's serious."

It was almost like somebody had opened the floodgates. The tears were running down Lily's face as she stood next to the bed holding James hand tightly.

"Okay so we compromise Lily."

There was a pleading look in James' eyes. Lily thought a moment and nodded her head as she began to speak.

"Alright you come into hiding with us James. But during the days you can go out and fight. You can go to work and live the way you want too. But at night you come home to me and Harry where nobody, not even Sirius knows we are."

James blinked several times before he spoke.

"Actually I meant you and Harry come out of hiding and come home. We live like we've always done. And then if something bad happens. If it seems Voldemort is getting too close. Well then we go into hiding."

Lily looked at James and shook her head.

"I'm sorry James but I'm not compromising that way. You either come into hiding with me and Harry or you don't have us."

"Lily I can't please –"

Tears still streaming down her face she turned and walked back to the door. James was screaming her name from his bed but she refused to turn and look at him. As she opened the door Sirius blocked the way. His eyes were wide with a look of pure manic madness in them. He looked like he wanted to hit her.

But Lily simply twirled on the stop. Then with a resounding pop and James' voice still screaming her name she had left the hospital and once more was heading to her sister.


	131. One Hundred Thirty One

Chapter 131

The radio stood in the corner. The voices of St. Winifred's School Choir sang the words to the muggle Christmas number one 'There's No One Quite Like Grandma.' All night Lily had sat there listening to past Christmas number ones. Cliff Richards singing 'I Love You', the Beetles with 'I Want To Hold Your Hand'. Then there had been Elvis with 'Return to Sender' and the most bizarre one was Rolf Harris singing 'Two Little Boys'.

Lily rested her hands in her head as the School children faded into silence only for Slade to take over with 'Merry Christmas Everybody'. As the songs had played Lily wasn't surprised with her knowledge of them. It had always been a tradition to sit around and listen to the Christmas number one before getting dressed into their best and heading out to Mid-Night Mass.

Yet somehow this year it didn't feel right. It didn't feel as though this was her Christmas Eve. Throughout the years the way she had celebrated had shifted and the focus had changed. She no longer went to bed excited about the prospect of Father Christmas bringing her that one toy that she wanted. No longer did it signal the two week break from her schooling to visit her family for the first time in three months. It didn't even mark the excitement and fuss that they made of Sammie telling her that Santa would be coming.

Lily sighed as her eyes drifted to the small plastic tree that sat on her windowsill. That wasn't Christmas to her. Her mind was filled with images of a massive Christmas tree brought in by Sirius the year before. Of Sammie and James hanging decorations on it and laughing. Of wrapping presents and stacking them under the green pine branches. Of the joy of knowing that she was surrounded by the people that she loved and loved her back.

Tears floated down to her cheeks. She didn't know when they had started and she didn't really care. All she knew was that she was miserable. She had never intended for her life to work out this way. As a little girl she had imagined herself surrounded by family. She had thought that she would marry a man who would have a fantastic job and she would stay at home raising their children. As she had grown those ideals had changed but always at the centre had been a family, her family.

But of course she had watched her family fall one by one to the darkness of the outside world. She had cried as one after another they were laid to eternal rest. And yet part of her heart had still been filled with joy. She knew now what that joy had been. It was the knowledge that she was still not alone. That still she had people around her that loved her and would protect her. How that had changed.

Her visit to James had been the wake up call. She had been managing up until then. Only just though. Then to see him a broken man and know that she had done that to him. That he was hurting as much as she was. For weeks she had been going over their conversation. Maybe James had been right. Maybe it would be best for her to return to him and then if things turned bad then leave. But pride had stood in her way.

She swatted the tears away. On the floor stood a tiny pile of presents. All labelled with the name Harry except one. Lily had felt the need to buy Harry something even though he wouldn't understand what Christmas was. She had wanted him to have something. But when she had gone out she had seen a simple watch. There was nothing too special about it. And yet she had bought it and wrapped it up for James. She had felt the need to get him something.

Lily's tears became wilder as she looked at the small label.

_James, love Lily_

She had long thought of sending it to him. But the echoes of his voice played in her mind. The smallest of sentences that he had spoken that day. The words that still sent her cold. _Why walk back into my life and taunt me with everything I've lost_. That had been the one thing holding her back. To send him anything would be a taunt that she wasn't there.

"What am I doing?"

Lily threw herself into the armchair and wrapped her head in her arms. The tears continued to fall as she sat there. Her mind kept going to one thought. Why am I still here? Lily didn't want to be there. No she wanted to be with James. So what if there was danger, they were strong enough to fight. How much longer could she last like this? Not very. That was the truth in it all. She needed James now more than she had ever needed him. She could cope with her pride taking a knock. As long as she had her husband.

With that very thought Lily climbed to her feet. She didn't think as she picked up toys and clothes pushing them into bags. She picked up the small arrangement of presents and put them away. Harry's baby clothes were thrown on top. Finally she went towards the crib and looked at her son.

Everyday he was turning more and more into a miniature James. His hair was beginning to lengthen and with it went any belief she had carried that it would be neat as hers was. It looked wild as if her son had been up on a broom all day and crawled into bed without brushing it. His nose was shaped as his fathers only smaller and more baby like. His smile when he looked at you was James minus the teeth. The only part of her was invisible as he slept. He was unquestionably his father's son.

Reaching slowly towards him she scoped him into her arms. Harry opened one eye and gazed at her. It was a look that she recognised from herself. The look asking what it was you were doing. He took her in with one eye before deciding that it wasn't worth his effort and he closed it again. She felt him wriggle further into her and she held him close breathing him in.

With the bag shouldered she looked around the small flat. She moved to the radio silencing Queen in the middle 'Bohemian Rhapsody' before turning off the lights. Struggling in the darkness she managed to free her wand from the pocket of her jacket and carefully holding Harry very tight she turned on the spot and left the flat forever.

Godric's Hollow was sparkling with the Christmas decorations. It was nearing Mid-night and the muggle residents of the village were walking over to the church. Lily stayed in the shadows watching the children dragging their feet through the snow. How one little boy had taken off his mittens and was running his fingers through the snow making a ball.

The trooped into the church and the doors closed as the clock began to chime. Lily silently said a prey as she strolled through the village. She was very much aware of her surroundings as she came close to the Christmas tree. It stood as tall as ever with handmade decorations from the local school.

Lily didn't stop to admire it though as she carried on up the path to the cottage James had bought for them. In the darkness it looked erry and wrong. The gate stood firmly shut and as she pushed at it there was a creak. That was something that had never occurred before then though. They had always been careful to oil it regularly.

As she got closer to the house she noticed that inside it was filled with darkness. Her stomach knotted at the thought that it was empty. Maybe James had moved out and in with the boys feeling unable to remain there. Maybe it had been abandoned due to information about another attack.

With her insides wriggling madly Lily opened the door. Everything was pitch black. Silently her wand lit and she took small steps further inside. Her mind was beginning to wonder if coming here like this had been her best idea. As she made her way slowly through the living room she noticed a tiny light flickering in the kitchen. Taking a deep breath she moved towards the doorway.

Her heart stopped when she looked inside. It was blank as if Christmas Eve was still months away. But worse was the state of the one person there. James was sat at the table. A plate with the remains of something that he had pushed around his plate in front of him. The smell of whisky danced through the room. She could tell that he had drunk the bottle to himself.

From what she could make of him slumped over his arm he was a mess. His clothes were wrinkled and looking a bit on the dirty side. His hair was more of a mess than she had ever seen it. The whiskers she had spotted in hospital had grown into a beard and she had been right about his weight loss.

Lily would never know how long she stood there watching him like that. But it felt like a lifetime before Harry coughed in his sleep. James' head shot up so quick she thought it must have hurt. His eyes landed on her and a look of complete bafflement appeared on it.

Yet in the silence of that house James jumped to his feet and snatched his son from her. She remained where she was not uttering a sound as she watched James hug Harry. She watched his lips move to the boy's forehead as he rocked him gently…


	132. One Hundred Thirty Two

Chapter 132

The tiniest rays of morning light drifted into the bedroom. Lily changed her position on the chair. She had been sat there all night and she felt stiff now. Her legs felt as though they had been chained in one place all the night.

A grunted snore made Lily smile slightly. She had chosen to sit in that chair all night. She had silently watched as James had hugged Harry close to him. Her husband had watched the small boy sleep remaining silent. But by three James himself started to drupe. Lily had remained in the chair watching as he too had fallen asleep.

When she was sure he was out she had gone to the nursery and charmed Harry's cot into the master bedroom. She had lifted her son from his father's arms and laid him gently into his own bed. Then she had pulled the blankets up around James, kissed his forehead and watched him sleep.

She had been tempted at times to crawl beneath the blanket and snuggle up to James. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Neither had spoken a single word to each other since she had returned. They had simply watched Harry together.

Lily's elbow rested on the arm of the chair and she laid her head into her hand. The silence of the morning was engulfing her senses. But she didn't care in the least as her eyes traced James' face. His beard made him look older and yet held some strange appeal to her. His hair needed a good seeing too but beneath all that was her husband. For the first time in weeks she felt like things were perfect.

Lily felt her eyes flicker close. A bang sounded from downstairs causing her to sit up. The morning light was brighter than before. She couldn't guess how long she had been out but she must have slept for at least an hour.

"James."

Sirius' voice rang through the house as he trooped around downstairs.

"James?"

His feet echoed on the stairs as he climbed them.

"Don't tell me you finally made it to the bedroom? That's what the first time in over a month?"

The door was pushed open. In the moments before the man was visible Lily's memory brought up their last meeting. The screaming and yelling. Sirius accusing her of not wanting what was best for James. She knew before she saw his eyes that she was in for a repeat.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm home."

"Home? Or back to taunt James some more?"

"Why would I –"

"Like I even pretend to understand the inner workings of your mind."

"Sirius."

James' voice sounded raspy and alien almost to her ears. Sirius' eyes darted from her to his best mate. Lily didn't turn she was too busy watching Sirius' reaction.

"Whatever James, just don't come crying to me when she breaks your heart!"

Sirius turned and a pop sounded throughout the house. Although it was tiny it was enough to wake Harry. He gave a cry and Lily turned to see James crawl up the bed and peer over the crib. The crying stopped almost instantly.

"That's right Harry daddy's here. No need to cry."

He picked his son up and looked at Lily. The smallest of smiles came to his lips as he looked once more at Harry …


	133. One Hundred Thirty Three

Chapter 133

"It's New Year we have to go out."

James stood in the doorway to the kitchen in a blue shirt and black trousers. A smirk was sat on his face as he folded his arms across his chest watching Lily sorting out Harry's newly clean clothes.

"You should go out. You haven't seen Sirius in a week. Have a boy's night out."

"But I want you to come with me."

"I won't run away if that's what you're worrying about. Go and see Sirius."

"Lily –"

"Besides we don't have anyone to watch Harry for us."

Lily watched silently as James walked towards her. She picked up a white baby growth with two blue brooms crossing over the right chest. She placed it on top of a green baby sweater as James snaked his arms around her waist.

"He won't say anything if you come as well."

"I'm not worried about what Sirius is saying. I'm a grown woman, I can deal with him. But I still don't want to go out."

James kissed her neck as she spoke. Swatting him with her hand she turned to face him.

"James honestly I want you to go out and have fun."

"And I want to start this New Year with the woman I love. So if you want to stay in I will as well. There are still a couple of bottles of Fire Whisky around here somewhere. We can put Harry to bed and sit in the living room together."

"I love you James."

"I know."

She leaned in and kissed his lips. As she did so a knock resounded through the house. James pulled back and made a face.

"You expecting anybody?"

She shook her head as he left the room. James' voice echoed through into the kitchen and Lily was aware that there was somebody else in the living room with him.

"Most people don't do their washing on New Years Eve."

Lily stood up grinning.

"Alice … and Neville. Oh look how handsome he is in that little shirt!"

Neville was in a babies black shirt with brown cords. His eyes were heavy and it was clear that he was fighting with all his might to stay awake.

"Well he's all dressed up for a New Years party with his favourite little friend."

Lily laughed as she stroked the boy's blonde hair.

"Do you want to put him in the cot with Harry?"

"That'll be great."

Lily and Alice walked through the living room, passed James and Frank who had pulled out a chess set. They walked up the stairs and put Neville next to Harry. Harry in his deep blue pyjamas looked underdressed next to Neville.

"They're like little angels when they sleep aren't they."

Alice's voice was soft as not to wake the sleeping boys.

"Yeah pity they're not like it when they're awake."

They laughed gently as they closed the door on their sons. They walked down the stairs in fits of little giggles until they came to the living room. James and Frank were spread out on the floor with a bottle of Fire Whisky next to the chest board. Shot glasses sat either end of the board and they watched as James downed his shot to Frank's delight.

"Okay I'll bite. What are the pair of you up too?"

James and Frank both looked up at Alice smiling. Lily sat slowly down on the sofa as she waited to hear what they had to say. It was Frank who answered.

"Honey James and I thought it would be fun to up the stakes in our game of chess. Every time one of our pieces gets taken we have to down a shot of Fire Whisky."

Lily couldn't help the small laugh that slipped through her lips. Both men turned to look at her but her eyes flicked towards Alice.

"At this rate we'll have to put them to bed as well tonight."

The blonde laughed as she picked up the bottle of nettle wine and sat next to Lily pouring her a glass. The four friends stayed that way for two hours. Lily and Alice sharing gossip and news about the last month which Lily had missed out on while being away. And Frank and James getting steadily drunker as the chess games progressed.

"Wait you're telling me that you lived like a muggle!"

Frank was getting louder with each word and Lily couldn't help but giggle as he tipped over backwards.

"Yeah Frank. I lived like a muggle its not that hard."

"But they don't magic. How'd you cook a meal!"

"They have electricity remember."

Frank laughed as he righted himself and jabbed a finger towards James.

"Electro-what's-it is a funny word."

James knocked over the empty bottle of Fire Whisky as he started laughing.

"Muggles say funny things."

Lily shared a look with Alice and laughed herself. The two women were slightly the worse for wear, tipsy was the word that they chose to use. Frank and James however were wasted. Two bottles of Fire Whisky had been used in their game. Lily would be surprised if they were able to stand.

"You know what else is funny … Gobbledegook."

Frank repeated James' word and shaking his head laughed. Amongst all the laughter a banging on the door resounded through the house.

"I'll get it!"

James attempted to get up but lost his footing instantly. As his legs gave way he flew forward upsetting all the chess pieces on the board and landing firmly in Frank's lap.

"Get off me!"

As Frank and James started to slap hands in a sort of fight Lily got to her feet and made her way to the door. On opening it she was met with a surprise. Remus was stood in the front of the group. He smiled holding up a bottle of something.

"Happy Almost New Year!"

He reached forward and hugged her. She could smell the alcohol on him as he pulled back.

"Is Prongs at home?"

"Sitting on Frank's lap."

The man didn't comment as he pushed passed leaving her in the doorway. It was at that point that she noticed Peter who had been standing in the others shadow.

"Evening Lily."

He sounded sober as he nodded gently at her. However the fact he zigged and zagged when walking in gave him away. Shaking her head she went to close the door when a hand held it open. Peering once more outside she saw Sirius stood there.

He didn't say a word as he walked into the house. Lily closed the door and followed him into the living room.

"Stop it if I laugh anymore I'll pee myself."

Alice was chocking at the scene playing out on the floor. James was still sat on Frank's lap and they were still hitting each other. Only Remus had somehow pushed himself onto James lap and had pulled Peter onto his own holding him there whilst still managing to clap.

Sirius who was stood just beside Lily turned to her with his brow crossed.

"How much have your two had to drink?"

"Bottle of Fire Whisky each."

He nodded as he started to laugh. A chime sounded from outside and Alice jumped to her feet.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The four men on the floor stopped their yelling as they hugged each other shouting 'Happy New Year'. Alice was somehow dragged down with them amongst renewed laughing. Lily slowly turned towards Sirius and offered her hand.

"Truce?"

The man smiled as he grabbed her in a hug.

"Lifes too short to hold grudges Lily…"


	134. One Hundred Thirty Four

Chapter 134

The first of January 1981 was nothing but a blur to Lily. She was suffering from the hangover from hell. And she wasn't the only one. James didn't even get out of bed. Lily would have found it funny except for the fact she felt just as bad and Harry was in a fussy mood. Her son wanted attention all day and the moment she put him down he would start crying and James would yell for her to do something.

The week that followed wasn't much better. There was an attack down in Portsmouth which resulted in the death of twelve muggles and another thirty to be injured. The Ministry came clean to the Prime Minister and a cover story of the IRA was planted on it. Lily just kept thinking that the wizarding problems were creating many more for the muggles.

The only upside was the fact that she once more felt accepted. It was almost as if a memory charm had been cast over her friends and they didn't even remember her leaving. There were little mumbles that she was sure she had heard but on the whole things were looking up.

There was an exception. Lily was never alone. She realised that she had told James she had felt unsafe. She knew that it was better when there were more people there with the ability to fight. But sometimes she just needed to have her own space. It was almost as though James was worried she'd walk out again unless she was watched. There was always a stream of people there. Sometimes it was Remus, sometimes Sirius. Mostly it was Alice and Bathilda was always there at some point of the day.

By the thirteenth day of January Lily needed an escape. She needed time on her own. But this was becoming harder and harder as the days had passed.

"Sirius you don't need to baby-sit me."

The Quidditch player looked up from the building bricks that were forming a very impressive castle. Harry's fat little fists were trying to knock them over and with Sirius' eyes on her the boy finally managed it.

"Harry that's my castle!"

The baby gave a gargled laugh as Sirius looked back to her.

"I'm not baby-sitting you. I'm having some Godfather Godson bonding time."

"No Sirius. You're playing with Harry's toys and trying to stop him from touching them whilst ensuring that I don't leave the house."

"I don't care if you leave or not. You're just not taking Harry."

The words held an edge that she was aware of more and more with Sirius. He had stopped mentioning her absence, stopped complaining about how hurt she had left James. Instead he was just intent on the idea that she wouldn't steal Harry away for a second time.

His eyes went back to the blocks and he rebuilt the tower that Harry had knocked down. She watched silently as he waved his wand making little windows appear in the walls. Then he stood up holding Harry above his head.

"There a miniature Hogwarts. That Harry is the best school in the entire wizarding world. It's the place where I met my best friends in the whole world. And one day you'll get to go there and cause just as much trouble as me and your father did."

Harry was pulling on Sirius' hair now he had it in his reach. Sirius muttered something that sounded like 'scamp' before lowering Harry just above the little castle.

"Now for the best bit of all. Harry the giant is here to destroy the castle."

Lily watched as Harry's little feet kicked the side of the wall in. Sirius gave a little wale for someone to save him. Then a barked laugher joined the gurgled one.

"You know Lily I always wanted to blow a hole in the wall. Imagine going down in history as someone who almost destroyed Hogwarts. But Remus always told me and James that we couldn't. Something about destroying a bit of History. But who knows maybe Harry will get to have a hand in destroying parts of the school. I mean what's the chance of him befriending someone who won't want to break rules."

"If you're implying that my son is going to be a rule breaker you're mistaking. He may have you and James influencing him but he is still my son. I'm going to make sure he knows the rules and that he sticks to them."

"But what you don't know won't hurt you."

Shaking her head Lily stood up and headed into the kitchen. For the first time since her return her mind turned to Hogwarts. She started to wonder what Harry would be like when he was older. She hoped that he would be smart enough to keep safe. His life was going to be filled with danger if Voldemort had his way.

Placing a cup into the sink she started to think about friends. What would Harry's friends be like? Would he be really popular or be more selective with his friends. She remembered her friends from school. She had always thought they would be together forever but that hadn't been the case. They had all been really different, maybe that had been the attraction when they had been young and the reason for their split.

She tried to remember her school friends. It was almost like a mind bloke. First there had been Louise. She had been the first person Lily had met on the train ride. Louise had always been well away with the fairies was the term that Lily's grandmother would have used. She didn't really worry about the real realm it was all about the things that one couldn't quite reach. The cosmos, the future things that were too big for a mind.

Then there had been Stephanie. A lovely girl missing a couple of screws though. She had never quite grasped ideas as well as the others. She hadn't been stupid, no far from it. The truth was that she had very little common sense. She was very gullible and had over the years been a very easy source for the Marauders.

Then there had been Kayleigh. How she had turned out the way she had was beyond Lily. Yes she had always been snotty and snobbish. She had been the one in the designer robes. Her father had personally taken it upon himself to get her the best of the best and she had been spoilt rotten. Oh and a flirt. That girl must have dated more guys than the rest of them put together, in fact maybe even twice over.

Then there had been Lyn. She had been the sporty one, the funny one, the one that everybody loved. The teachers had thought her a good student, well mannered and hard working. The girls had found her to be funny and excellent at giving out advice when needed. And then the guys had seen her as one of their own. She had never been seen as an attractive catch but she had been the fun one, the girl that guys wanted to be around.

Then lastly there was Lily herself. The bookworm. The girl that needed to prove that she belonged there. The others had always told her that she had tried too hard to fit in. She had after all received a Hogwarts letter, she was talented but she had never felt that way. She had fitted into the group as the one they went to for help on homework.

Yes the five of them weren't suited too one another in the most logical of sense. Separately outside of school maybe Louise and Stephanie would have gotten on well, just like she and Lyn had. But nobody would have thought they would work as a team. But they had in school. It made her wonder about Harry.

She couldn't help but expect that he would be a trouble maker in some sense. Sirius and James were bound to rub off on him in some manner or another. But she hoped he'd gain her common sense. The idea that there was a boundary that he was to stick too. Then for friends. There had to be someone with a good sense of humour. He'd need someone who on those dark occasions would be able to make him laugh. Then someone who was book smart, had commonsense enough for all those around him. She wanted Harry to be smart enough to do his own work but she'd be happy if there was a friend who could help him. Then someone who would always look out for him. Basically she wanted him to be surrounded by decent people who would stop him from getting a big head like James had.

But the most important thing was that he wouldn't be a bully. She hated the idea that he would pick on younger students as James once had. The idea that he would find someone like Severus to fight with …

Severus.

For the first time since her return her friend went to her mind. She hadn't told him of her return. She had meant to send him an owl but with everything it had slipped her mind. Maybe she could slip away and speak to him. It would be lunch up in Hogwarts now. It would be easy to slip up there.

Looking back into the living room Sirius and Harry were lost in their own little games. Harry was happily kicking the bricks about as Sirius bounced him off the ground. There was laughter and some sort of narration echoing through the room. It would be a perfect time for Lily to slip out. Sirius would be too busy to take too much notice of what she was doing.

Looking around she spotted her bag and quickly shouldered it.

"Sirius we need some more nappies. I'm just going to pop out and get some. Will you be okay with Harry?"

"Me and the little giant will be fine."

"So you don't mind keeping an eye on him."

"Lily go buy some nappies before Harry needs one. The two of us will be perfectly fine. Say bye Harry."

Sirius waggled one of Harry's little hands in her direction. She blew him a little kiss before turning on the spot and disappearing. Knowing that Sirius wouldn't consider the fact that it would only take minutes to do the shopping she strolled slowly up to the gates of the school.

It was a day for memories that was sure. She kept thinking of the countless time she had walked up that path to the school. The early days in her third year where Hogsmeade had been her and Severus' escape for themselves. Of the many times she had he had walked up to Hogwarts arm in arm laughing about something that only they understood. And then the shift. How it had become her and the girls walking back to the school together, before finally her and James.

It was strange to think that it was over ten years ago that she had first walked that path. As the gates came into view she couldn't help the small smile. With a wave of her wand Saphine her stag patronus was running up the grounds into Hogwarts. She stopped at the gate resting her head against the cool bars.

An image of another day similar to this years before flared to her mind. She had been fourteen and it had been a cold day in February. She had been down to Hogsmeade with Severus and they had spent the entire day down there. They had missed the curfew for their return to the school but neither seemed to care. Things were changing and they knew that they were stood on different sides of the fence. Voldemort had been declared a real threat and for the most Severus seemed to agree with what he had said.

But for the first time in weeks they had put that aside to spend a pleasurable day together. They had walked slowly back up to Hogwarts around about seven arm in arm. Lily had rested her head on his shoulder and they remained silent. But as they had reached the grounds the gate had been locked.

Neither of them had known what to do. So of course they had stood outside the gates waiting for someone to notice their absence. It had gotten colder and Lily was shivering. Severus had cast a warming charm and they had stood close together. Just as the last of the light was fading away he had leaned in and taken her lips with his. She remembered the shock that had run through her body. But she hadn't pulled apart. Yes this spot had been the place where she had received her first kiss.

Of course Hagrid had chosen that moment to head down to the Hogs Head. The look on his face as they had pulled apart had been enough to make her laugh. She had been frog marched by the man to Dumbledore's office with Severus by her side. Both had gotten into deep trouble but it had been worth it.

"What is it with you and hanging around at this gate?"

"It's always locked!"

"Maybe that's a hint."

She gave Severus a warm smile as he opened the locks and she slipped inside. She waited in the shadow of a large tree as he locked them again. Then he turned and looked at her closely.

"Better make sure Hagrid isn't about."

She couldn't help but laugh. It surprised her to no end that Severus could only be this way with her. She didn't understand why he wasn't funny and sensitive with anyone else. Looking at him she knew that one day he would make some lucky woman a wonderful husband and he would be a fantastic father, if only he could get over his own arrogance.

"I see you chose to come back to the wizarding world then."

"I meant to send you an owl sooner but it completely slipped my mind. Do you forgive me?"

"I'd forgive you anything."

She nodded and watched as he walked towards the outline of the forest. She didn't need him to explain why as she followed him. She knew as well as the rest of the Order that the students of Hogwarts were not necessarily on their side. A lot of them came from families siding with Voldemort so it was never safe to speak openly.

They walked in silence deeper into the shadows. Lily knew that they wouldn't enter the forest proper just hide in the outskirts. When finally they had cleared the view of the entrance Severus stopped and turned to look at her. He remained silent though and Lily taking a small sigh started the conversation.

"I just wanted to say thank you for the letter that you sent me. I know that you didn't want to include all the details but I'm extremely glad that you did. I needed to know."

"And how is _he_?"

"James is doing well."

"And he trusts you to stay at home with Harry does he?"

"Of course he does Severus! James and I have an open and honest relationship. He knows that I was scared for Harry and did what I thought was best. But we both know that we are strongest together and he trusts that I won't leave him again."

"Open and honest? Does that include –?"

"He knows that I went to you the night I left. He doesn't know that you kissed me. And it will stay that way Severus."

"So you're really back for good then?"

"Yes."

Lily watched the man in front of her lower his head. His eyes closed for a moment as if he was steadying himself for something horrible.

"I wish you had stayed away for good."

"I couldn't. I belong in this world as much as you do."

Their eyes connected and Lily knew that they understood each other. He could understand her coming back to the wizarding world, he could even understand her returning to James. What he couldn't stand though was the fact that she came back to him. She had always gone back to him though and at times that had been a problem.

Thinking back on her life in the wizarding world it had been several years since she had fallen back on their friendship. It was a strange truth really. After their O.W.Ls they had gone through a period of about six weeks not talking. However half way through the summer holidays and they were back to their old selves. That had been their first break.

Somehow they had come to an unspoken agreement that in school things couldn't go back to the way they had been. So during their sixth year they spoke whilst in prefect meetings and potion classes. Nothing more than that. Then the holidays back home they were inseparable. It was the following year that had changed things.

She had gone to him several times during their last year in school begging him to turn his back on the Death Eaters. She had started dating James and they would fight constantly about her relationship with Severus. Then at the end of the year they had gone their separate ways. And it had stayed that way until the attack in Diagon Alley.

Lily found that although an awful act of terror had brought him back into her life she couldn't let him go. It was almost as if the years had slipped away. Looking at him she knew that she shouldn't be around him. That their friendship had been broken for a good reason. But it was Severus and no matter what he would always represent the same thing to her. He would always be her friend even to her dying day.

"You know I can't stay away."

He gave her a soft smile and he shook his head.

"But it isn't safe for either of us to continue like we are school children anymore. Really its for your own sake that you stay away."

"When did I ever do something that was for the good of me?"

Severus laughed and she couldn't help but grin. But almost as soon as the laughter sounded a change came over and things went tense. Severus looked around them quickly and began to speak in a quicker yet quieter voice.

"You need to know that it's not safe anymore Lily."

"I know that Sev. It hasn't been safe for a long time now and it won't be until this war is over."

"I don't just mean about the war. I mean you are not safe."

"Yes I know –"

"You don't know! Lily I'm a Death Eater there are some things that I know more about than you. And not surprisingly your safety is one of the things. The Dark Lord has a trusted spy in his inner circle. He's done everything possible to protect his spy, nobody knows who it is. I've asked and a lot of the Death Eaters are really annoyed at that."

"He's got spies everywhere we all know that. Come on he thinks that you're his spy in Hogwarts!"

"Lily it's much more serious than that. This spy is someone in the Order. The Dark Lord has been boasting about someone being close to both Dumbledore and the Potters being a spy."

"That's rubbish Severus."

"Lily its not! I need you to believe me. Someone close to you is a spy for the Dark Lord. I don't know who but I'd bet its someone very close to you. And there's only a few people you've got left that are close."

"I don't believe you. Severus you're a spy. Maybe its you."

"He doesn't know about our meetings Lily. As far as everyone is concerned its been years since we've spoken. Look I can tell you it isn't the Longbottoms. He might not think that their son is the one spoken of but he thinks them annoying. He hasn't got them as supporters."

"Oh so who is it then? Sirius?"

"Possibly. It could also be the werewolf Lupin or even that worthless pile of bones Pettigrew. One of them if not more are working with the Dark Lord giving him information."

"They wouldn't. They're like James' brothers. You've got to be wrong."

"Who do you think told him when James would be at Godrich's Hallow hey? How do you think he came up with the plan of attack. Someone close to you is a traitor Lily. You need to be careful. You need to keep your friends at a distance. This is war and you need to face the fact that nobody is to be trusted."

"I trust you."

"I rest my case."


	135. One Hundred Thirty Five

Chapter 135

Lily tried to put her meeting with Severus to the back of her mind. Instead of worrying about his words she pretended that she had never heard them. So her life for the time being continued as normal. January soon faded into February but that month didn't last long either. March appeared and Lily couldn't work out where the time had gone.

The first two months of the year seemed the same. She spent it with one of her friends, taking care of Harry. She would wonder to the shops with him in his pushchair. She'd watch as James played with Harry as their friends came round and they all acted as if nothing had happened.

But Lily knew that something was happening. There was a silence echoing throughout the wizarding world and it was scarier than any of the battles she'd fought in. It seemed almost as though Voldemort had left. But from the intelligence Severus brought to Dumbledore they knew he was abroad.

Lily didn't want to speculate what he was doing overseas. The thoughts were too much for her. Up to that point he had been a British problem. Yes he was known throughout the wizarding world but it had been isolated in a way. Not anymore.

Although Lily felt this way she tried not to show it. And it had become almost like an unspoken rule. Nobody spoke of Voldemort and of the danger they were in. They spoke of nice stuff whenever possible. There had been some hard days in February where the topic had turned to Voldemort. The anniversary of the murder of the Quidditch players, the anniversary of her parents death, and worse by far the first anniversary of the Diagon Alley attack which became the day that not only did the Prewett's die but Sammie.

And yet they kept going. By the tenth of March Lily had received a summons from Dumbledore. It was to be the first Order meeting that she had attended since her return. It wasn't that she had been fazed out up to that point. It was just that she couldn't take part in the fighting anymore. She couldn't go undercover because she was a massive target. She had been feeling useless and had stepped aside. But Dumbledore was now ordering her there and so finally she returned to Hogwarts.

The meeting had been different to what she had expected. There were very few people left. She felt it hit home. They had lost so many to this war. Each one had silently become a known target to Voldemort and he had killed them one by one. For the first time since January this made Lily think of Severus' words. Some of the people killed should never have been linked back. Somebody had to have told Voldemort.

Her stomach knotted with that thought. She looked around the room at those sitting there. They were so few in number. Dumbledore was at the lead of course with Alastor Moody sitting next to him. Then around them sat Dedalus Diggle, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore, Elphias Doge and Hagrid. The only others in the room where her nearest and dearest, Frank and Alice, Peter, Sirius, Remus and herself and James.

There were other members of the Order still about Lily was aware of that, such as Aberforth and even Severus. But so many had been killed. She thought of the names of only a few in that moment. Benjy Fenwick, Edgar Bones, Caradoc Dearborn, Dorcas Meadowes, Gideon and Fabian and of course Larry.

The more she thought about them and the countless others it became clear. There had to be someone feeding information about the Order to Voldemort. But who? Severus' words lingered in her brain at the idea it was one of her friends.

"Alright so is there anything else anybody would like to bring up?"

The silence of the room brought Lily's attention back. Nobody spoke and Dumbledore simply nodded. One by one those around her started to stand and head out of the school. Lily though remained seated.

"Are you coming?"

Giving James a small smile she shook her head.

"I need a private word with Dumbledore. I'll see you at home okay."

There was a questioning look but he remained silent. Once everyone had left Lily looked at Albus Dumbledore and felt her stomach quack.

"Do you wish to say something Lily?"

"I need to talk to you about Severus."

The man steepled his fingers and sat back down in his chair.

"Very well."

She outlined her conversation with Severus back in January. About how he had tried to convince her of a spy among them. She spoke about not believing him in the least. Why would anybody turn on them for Voldemort? States that she knows power corrupts and fear is a good incentive but she just can't believe it.

"Severus has spoken to me about the same thing a number of times. And although I would like to say that he is speaking a lie. I believe him."

"Did he tell you that the spy is somebody close to me?"

Albus nodded his head slowly. In the silence Lily continued.

"I believe Severus and I know many wouldn't. I know him Albus I know him better than anyone else here does. He's selfish, arrogant and out for himself and yet for a true friend he'd do anything. And I know that he'd do anything for me. I've ignored his words as long as I can but looking around us there's not many of us left. Most of them showed no signs of connections to the Order so for them to be targeted someone had to have spoken out."

"Indeed but the question is who?"

Lily shook her head. She didn't want to believe it but if there was a spy amongst them it was very likely to be as Severus had said, someone close to her. She thought of Remus, Sirius and Peter and couldn't imagine any of them selling them out.

"I'm going to have to tell James. If it is somebody close to us we need to be careful."


	136. One Hundred Thirty Six

Chapter 136

Lily waited until Sirius had left and Harry was put to bed before dropping down next to James on the sofa. She lowered her head onto his shoulder and snuggled close as he wrapped his arms around her. In the moment she felt safe and loved. But as the seconds passed she knew that it was about to change.

"James we need to talk."

"You're not leaving me again."

A small smile slipped to her lips for a moment and then it was gone. That had become his first instinct and she loved the way he was confident that she wouldn't leave him again. Although it did hurt a little that he didn't trust her fully anymore but she knew it was her own fault.

"No we need to talk about the Order."

James gave her a soft little kiss on the forehead.

"You've got nothing to worry about. You heard Albus today he isn't going to send either of us out on danger missions."

"That's not it James."

"What then?"

"Promise me you'll listen to everything I have to say and not get mad."

James pulled up and looked at her closely.

"You went to _him _didn't you?"

"The pair of you refer to each other in the same way. It's stupid we're all adults. You should be able to call him Severus by now … or at least Snape."

A tick appeared in the corner of James' eye. It was something that he had for the most part grown out of. As a youngster when he was annoyed it would happen really annoying him in the process. It only occurred now when he was extremely mad.

"He sent me an owl telling me you were in the hospital. When I returned for good I went to him and thanked him for letting me know."

"He must have had some plot for sending –"

"James let me talk. He told me that I shouldn't have returned that it wasn't safe. I laughed and said it wasn't safe anywhere anymore. That's when he told me … James there's a spy in the Order."

"What? Don't be silly Lily. Snape is just trying to scare you."

"No please look at the facts. Look at how many people are dead."

"They were fighting. Voldemort realised that the more people that stood up to him the more likely he'd be defeated. They weren't killed because of a spy. They were killed because of their will to fight."

"Oh really and what about Pauline?"

Lily knew that she had hit on a sour note there. Pauline was someone that nobody could explain away. She was the daughter of Evan Rosier a known Death Eater. Yet somehow she didn't believe in her father's ways. Maybe it was the fact that she fell in love with a muggleborn wizard. But it was true that she turned her back on the Death Eaters.

That was of course dangerous but she had sought Dumbledore out. He had agreed to help her if she would in return help him. She had done some great things for them. She had discovered the identity of twenty new Death Eaters. Dumbledore had gotten the information and in return told the Order. He hadn't thought twice of mentioning how he had gotten the information.

It had then been agreed that the Order would help to hide Pauline. It seemed to have worked. Nobody outside the Order knew where she was. A rumour had been circled that she was dead and Lily had heard a lot of people repeating that. But then one day she was dead.

Nobody knew how it had happened. She was hidden away where only a member of the Order could get to her. And one of them had. One of their members had murdered the girl. They had all been horrified and claimed that the Death Eaters must have found a way in. But deep down they had known the truth.

"It was Death Eaters."

"James we both know that's a lie. There's a traitor and it could be anybody."

"Well then we just make sure that we remain safe. Don't go talking to Order members that we can't trust."

"And who are they James?"

"Someone who isn't part of our group."

Lily sighed sitting fully upright.

"What?"

Shaking her head she stood up and moved to the window. Pulling the netting back she peered out into the dark night. She knew what was there even if she couldn't see it. The grass was green covered in droplets from the rain, the flowers were starting to shoot, and the daffodils had already flowered. James' arms wrapped around her waist as he peered over her shoulder.

"What aren't you telling me Lily?"

"What if we can't trust anyone other than ourselves? What if the traitor is someone close to us?"

"Do you really think its one of the guys?"

His voice was rough with an accusing air to it.

"No. But James…"

She turned in his arms and looked into his face. She could tell that he was taking her seriously and yet there didn't seem to be the panic that she was feeling.

"It could be anyone."

"I agree Lily that we've had traitors amongst the Order before. Lance was proven to be one and okay this doesn't leave this room but we found out that Nelson was the one to give Pauline away."

"What?"

Lily thought hard for a moment. Nelson was a middle-aged shop keeper from Diagon Alley. He ran one of the animal outlets on the main street. He had never seemed to be that much into the fight or that good at it. But he had been good for passing on information. Most of the Order had pets so they would go in there to buy food and have a message given to them.

"He was put under the Imperius curse. We can't say when but he was under it. Of course Dumbledore didn't want that to spread. Nelson's a good guy and all. But that's why Dumbledore sent him into hiding. After the curse was broken they would have killed him. And lets face it Nelson wasn't smart enough to pretend that he was still under the curse to gain us information."

"How do you know this?"

"It happened in June just before Harry was born. Frank and I discovered it through the arrest of some low Death Eater. We went straight to Dumbledore and broke the curse. We thought it was better that no-one else in the Order find out, and you were pregnant darling. I didn't want to bother you with that sort of thing."

"James there could still be a traitor though."

"Lily I promise you. There is nothing to worry about from within the Order. Dumbledore trusts everyone and as long as that's the case so do I."

Lily could have argued that Dumbledore had told her that he believed there to be a spy. But the look on James face told her that he was pleading with himself to believe that. He wanted to believe that there wasn't a traitor. And in that moment Lily discovered that she was hoping it too.

* * *

I want to say sorry that its taken so long to update recently. I'm working six days a week at the moment which is difficult and on my week off I went to London to see Joseph in the West End (amazing!), plus I've been caught up in Nelson Mandela's book 'long walk to freedom'. I don't know when my next post will be, but I am off work for Easter Sunday, so maybe then.

Kris xx


	137. One Hundred Thirty Seven

Chapter 137

Chapter 137

March continued to pass them all by. The weather seemed unable to make its mind up as the days slowly started to grow longer. Thunder storms became a regular occurrence and whilst the muggles in the village kept saying how strange it was Lily felt it was to be expected.

Nobody wanted to talk about it but Voldemort was gaining in strength with each passing day. The muggle papers as well as the wizarding now contained stories linked to him. Although the muggles of course had no idea about such links.

Lily remembered a particularly nasty incident that affect the muggles. It was the train bridge up in Scotland known as the Forth Rail Bridge. It had been a particular stormy night and Voldemort or his followers had blown a hole in the track. A train plunged 46 meters into the Firth of Forth. They had found no survivors. Poor maintenance was being blamed by the muggles but the wizarding world knew that the Death Eaters had blasted a hole into the tracks.

That wasn't the only case though. On the last full moon there had been an attack in a Welsh village named Trefeca. Lily had seen the coverage in both muggle and wizarding papers. The muggles had been torn to shreds and half of the community had been killed. The muggles were hunting a pack of wild dogs that they believed to be in the area. It was the werewolves.

On top of all that there had been Death Eater attacks, giants had attacked some towns. The muggles were in a state of confusion and the wizards in a panic. A change had certainly accrued over the last month and Lily for one felt like the weather was reflecting it perfectly. And yet in Godric's Hollow it was as if nothing had changed.

Stabbing a sprout with her fork Lily bit into the vegetable just as Harry toppled his plate off his highchair.

"Harry!"

James jumped up and waved his wand making the food fly back onto the plate.

"Don't blame him James. You said that you'd feed him."

Her husband gave her a little smile as he settled the plate back onto the highchair.

"I thought maybe he was old enough to feed himself. I'm obviously wrong."

"Prongs he's only eight months old. Even I know he's too young to feed himself."

Bits of chicken sprayed onto the table from Sirius' mouth. It was Sunday lunch the same as it was every week. Although their friends had given them space alone together Sundays had remained the group day. Sirius, Remus and Peter would arrive at about eleven in the morning. Peter and Lily would make lunch where they would talk about their weeks. Then in the afternoon Harry would go for his nap and they would play card games and chess and laugh about the old days. It had become strictly a day where nothing bad could be mentioned.

Yet today Lily didn't feel easy about it. She watched as Sirius shovelled more mash potato into his mouth. Her mind was everywhere these days and watching him she started to consider once more Severus' warning. He claimed that the traitor was somebody close to them, but not the Longbottoms. That left only three people these days.

But could it really be Sirius? Yes he was a prat and he had been known to do some stupid things in his time. Yet was he so manipulative as to sit with them like this and be betraying them at the same time. His background screamed black arts and maybe he had been influenced. It was a very well known fact that his brother Regulus was a Death Eater. Then there was his cousin Bellatrix she was most certainly one as were her husband and brother in law. Then there was his other cousin Narcissa who was married to Lucius Malfoy. Lily was unsure if Narcissa was a Death Eater but Malfoy was.

Lily shook her head slowly. She couldn't judge Sirius on his family. She'd hate to be judged based on Vernon Dursley. So what if he was from a family like that! He had turned his back on them a hell of a long time ago. Lily knew that. He had run away from home at the age of sixteen and moved in with James. He hadn't seen or spoken to a single family member since that time. And hadn't he always fought to prove he was different. Plus Sirius could never do that to James. They were brothers and she'd seen the way that he had reacted to her in the hospital. Sirius just couldn't be the traitor.

Taking a sip of mineral water Lily turned her attention back to her meal. It was delicious and she loved her Sunday meal just because it felt like old times. Recently she'd been thinking a lot about her time in Hogwarts and she realised now more than ever how much she missed that. For her Sunday lunch was like getting a bit of that back. The joking around, all being together, the fighting for the food. It was just like old times.

"OUCH!"

"HARRY!"

Her son's gurgled laugh resounded through the room as she looked up. James was holding one of his son's hands but his eyes were across the table.

"Sorry Moony old pal. Looks like he's practicing his aim for his chaser years."

As Lily looked at Remus she chocked back a laugh. The man's eyes shot over to hers and she lost all control. All down the left hand side of his face was mashed potato and the gravy was running down and dripping off his chin. After a moment his stern look broke and he was laughing too.

Lily aimed her wand at a towel and it came sailing over to her. Passing it along she watched Remus wipe his face.

"Thanks Lily."

His attention then turned to Harry and he spoke soft words at the boy. But once more Lily's mind was on the track of the traitor. Could Remus be the one? He had the motive to be a follower of Voldemort. In fact most of the wizarding world would probably expect him to be a follower. Although Lily had never thought differently about Remus because of his condition the fact he was a werewolf made him a prime contender for a traitor.

Logically she thought of how werewolves were treated within their society. They were hated and feared. Most were shunned from society as soon as the bite had occurred. There were no equal rights for werewolves within the community; they were viewed by most as a sub-species. And it was worse maybe for those that tried to fit in, like Remus. Those were the ones that really felt the hatred. They couldn't get jobs; their identities were usually given over for everyone to find out.

But Lily knew that just because Remus was a werewolf didn't mean he was a traitor. And yet her memory shifted to an attack that had occurred over nearly two years earlier. Carly had been killed by Death Eaters and Remus had gone on the run. He had never told any of them where he had gone but he would have been able to make contact. Maybe he had been the traitor before then and they had promised not to hurt Carly. Maybe that had been the point where he had thought he had lost everything and joined them.

But just as she had whilst thinking about Sirius a ton of reasons came to mind why it couldn't be Remus. Sure he was a werewolf but that was only for three days a month. The rest of the time he was Remus Lupin a caring and loving man. She knew that he hadn't been as isolated as others in his place. No they had welcomed him into their group and had never treated him differently. The boys had all even become illegal animagi to help him. Remus wouldn't be capable of harming any of them.

Plus there was his gratitude towards Dumbledore. Lily and Remus had long been friends and she knew better than a lot that he felt he owed Dumbledore more than he would ever be able to repay. Dumbledore had given him the chance of normality and he would never do anything against Dumbledore. He wouldn't be able to turn to Voldemort just because he was a werewolf. He felt he owed too many people his loyalty and she knew that.

"Lily are you alright?"

She looked at James nodding.

"Yeah why?"

"Your elbow is in your dinner."

Looking down at her plate she noticed it was. The boys had all finished eating and James was holding Harry in one arm. The boy looked tired and yet he was fighting it. 

"Are you sure you're alright. Maybe you should go lie down for an hour."

Lily just nodded at James.

"I'll put Harry to bed if you want."

"Nah go on. I'll do it. Come on boy bedtime!"

Harry's thumb went up James' nose and he laughed. Lily watched as Peter and Remus cleared the table and started washing up. While James left the room Sirius pushed the chairs under the table and getting a damp cloth cleaned the high chair. Lily smiled at her friends and headed up to the bedroom.

James had tucked Harry in and was singing him an old song. As Lily listened she realised that it was the poem about the game of Creaothceann.

"The players assembled, twelve fine hearty men

They strapped on their cauldrons, stood poised to fly,

At the sound of the horn they were swiftly airborne

But ten of their number were fated to die…"

"James don't sing him that!"

"But it's a good song Lily."

"It's about people dying."

"It's about the sporting conditions in the eleventh century and how competition isn't always a good thing."

"Sing him twinkle twinkle little star. He likes that one."

"Spoil sport."

Ignoring that comment she headed into the bedroom. Pulling off her jumper that was covered with gravy she pulled on a long sleeved t-shirt. Running her fingers through her hair she tired to get her mind to focus on something that wasn't death. But it was so hard.

As she sat on the edge of the bed her mind went to the last man in their close group of friends. Peter Pettigrew. Was he capable of being a traitor? The reasons for why seemed a little harder than with Sirius and Remus but as she thought there were some. His relationship with Kayleigh was a good example. How long had they been together? She didn't know that but Kayleigh had boasted to having a source. Could Peter have become a traitor for her? 

But then maybe it was the biggest flaw in his personality that could lead him astray. He was the weakest of the group when it came to self-worth. She'd never asked why he thought himself worse than them but he did. His talents as a wizard were not as good as the other three and maybe a complex had taken over leading him to believe he was weak. He had always been surrounded by his stronger friends protecting him in Hogwarts. Now maybe he felt that he needed protecting still and that Voldemort would be the best.

But as soon as those thoughts came to her they passed. Peter had finished things with Kayleigh a long while back. In fact there had been no sign of her for a good seven months and there was a rumour she was dead. As for protection if Peter felt he needed that they could provide it. In every battle she had been in somebody always watched his back. And Dumbledore was the best protection for anyone. They all knew that Voldemort feared him. Peter couldn't have the courage to turn to traitor. He wouldn't be able to hide it.

Lily closed her eyes and sat in silence. Maybe Severus was slightly wrong. Maybe it wasn't someone that was close to them. Maybe it was someone else in the Order claiming to be closer than they were. Because the more she thought about it the more she was certain that none of them could ever betray each other. It just wasn't in their nature. 


	138. One Hundred Thirty Eight

Chapter 138

Time was starting to play tricks on Lily. Just when she thought things were slowing down they seemed to be passing her by quicker. Maybe the truth is that when you're happy and content the days do go by quickly. Somehow March had ended and April had been and gone before Lily had noticed.

There was one exception to that rule though. April the 12th seemed to appear quicker than all the other days but it didn't seem to want to end either. Lily spent the morning sat in the chair while Harry happily crawled around the floor. She couldn't bring herself to move as she thought of one thing. Three years.

As was often the case these days her memory played tricks on her. She found herself remembering her waters breaking in the house that Sirius, Remus and Peter now lived in together. Screaming for James and being rushed to the hospital.

Her memory brought Eddie to mind and the way he held her hand tightly telling her everything was going to be alright. His breathing exercises and instructions on pushing. Then of course Sirius and Gideon coming in and out asking if the baby had been born. She remembered the rush of emotions as she held the baby for the first time and the naming of it. How she was determined to name the baby in its fathers honour. Of course she had to have a girl and not a boy. But Larry's middle name had been Samuel and it seemed so natural to name her Sammie after him. Even more natural to add Lynn to the end for her old school chum.

And although those memories were good one stuck in her mind more than anything. James. The way he had held Sammie. The way he had walked her up and down the corridor showing her to people and taking her to a window to see the stars. She had fallen in love with him all over again in that moment. He had shown himself for the fantastic father that he was meant to be. She had no doubts then that Sammie would always have a father who loved her, and the same now for Harry.

But that day had hurt her more than she could say. Bathilda had come around about ten thirty for morning tea and biscuits. Lily had convinced her to watch Harry while she went to the cemetery. It was the first time since the funeral that Lily had been there. She noted that flowers had been laid by the site and she knew that one of the boys had already been there that morning. Silently she added her own and sat by the grave for a couple of hours.

When she had returned home Sirius had been crawling on the floor with Harry while Bathilda lectured them both about some historical fact that she knew about.

After that date however time once more picked up. Lily was quite shocked to realise that it was May already. She couldn't figure out where the time had gone. With May though something else appeared, more Quidditch. It had for so long been a passion in Lily's life due to those around her, but now she felt the need to distance herself. That was why she had decided to stay at home while the boys went.

Lily knew that Sirius was playing. He had been out for two months with an injury he had gotten in the Puddlemere game against the Cannons. She was still unsure how it had happened but it had involved his bat, the Quaffle, the Bludger and Andy Evens their own Seeker. A lot had been made about it in the Prophet and the boys had tormented Sirius to no ends. But she had happily remained out of it.

Today she knew that Puddlemere were to play the Harpies. Maybe that was why her stomach knotted. She no longer knew any of the team's players since the girls that had played with Lynn had retired to start families. Yet it still felt like they were her girls. She still remembered the nights in the bars. The drunken laughs and bets on who could pull the foulest looking man. Lynn always seemed to win that contest. Looking back it was almost as though it had been in another lifetime.

With a sigh Lily closed her copy of Ballet shoes and put it on the coffee table. That had been another reason why she had chosen not to go. She loved the boys to no end but she felt the need for some alone time. They had decided that this game would be Harry's first. So James had dressed him up in the latest Quidditch strip that Sirius had brought home and the two of them along with Peter and Remus had gone to the game.

Lily had decided to pamper herself then. She had soaked in a warm bath filled to the brim with bubbles. She had allowed the radio to play the local muggle network so that she wouldn't have to listen to any news on Voldemort and Death Eater attacks.

After that dressed once more in her pyjamas she had lounged on the sofa and read her favourite childhood book. It had been years since she had read it and it had brought back warm sunny summer days in the country of picnics with her family. Of her father tucking her and Petunia into bed in the rented cottage in the Lake District at night and reading them a chapter from the book.

She even recalled the arguments that she and Petunia use to have. She always wanted to be Posy and dance ballet but Petunia said that she couldn't because that was her dream. The pair had taken ballet lessons as children and truth be told neither were all that good at it.

As Lily buttered some bread to make a ham sandwich she waved her wand to tune the radio to the wizarding network. The game had started about an hour earlier and she thought that maybe she should tune in to hear the score, maybe find out how Sirius was getting on in his first game back.

"_The Death Eaters are all over the west stand! Spells are flying everywhere and people are screaming like mad. Aurors have fled to the stand trying to get at the attackers but there are too many people. Beater Sirius Black is hovering above them with his wand out. A yellow cloud is aimed at him but he ducks and dives to the stand."_

Lily dropped her plate as a scream left her mouth. Not the Quidditch game! Not Harry!

"_Black is soaring back up high into the sky. There are about five spells trailing him but they've all missed. He seems to be carrying something in his arms. I don't quite believe this! But he's got a baby!"_

Lily's heart was pounding but she took that in. Sirius had Harry. Her baby was safe. She didn't hear the rest of the report. She didn't know that the Death Eaters were retreating as those left in the stands fought back. She had no idea that James was leading an assault against the attackers as Sirius kept their son safe. All she could think of was the fact that once more the Death Eaters had chosen to attack her loved ones.


	139. One Hundred Thirty Nine

Chapter 139

Lily couldn't settle. She paced the living room for what felt like days before James returned. It had in reality been little more than half an hour. She ran straight at him and tugged Harry free from his arms. Laying him on the sofa she had her wand out and ran through all the spells she could think of to check him over.

"He's fine. A healer called Anderson checked him out."

"Anderson could have missed something."

James didn't respond as Lily concluded her cheeks. Then picking Harry up she held him close letting the tears fall down her cheeks. James noticed and wrapped his arms around the pair of them.

"Everything is fine Lily."

"I thought I'd lost you both. When I heard they were there I thought you were going to be killed."

Finally pulling back she noticed the look in James' eyes. Although his features were soft as he tried to comfort her his eyes spoke of something else. Hugging Harry close she took one hand and rubbed James' left arm.

"Are you okay?"

A small cut sat above his right eye but that was the only signs of what he had been through.

"Why don't you put Harry to bed?"

The fact he had answered with another question was a sign that it wasn't good. With a small nod she silently took Harry up the stairs and laid him in his crib. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him as he closed his eyes and started to suck his thumb. He looked perfect. His green eyes closed showing his dark lashes. His little red lips encased his thumb as he sucked. And his dark curls fell over his perfect little forehead. He didn't have a single scratch on him.

Walking back down the stairs she found James was no longer in the living room. Heading to the kitchen she found that too empty but the back door was open. He was outside kicking the grass and cursing as he picked up a garden chair and threw it at the fence. Lily had never seen James like this before.

"James?"

"You were right. There's a spy!"

Lily let the words float over her as James picked up another chair and threw it to the ground. He stamped around for a while longer while Lily dropped onto the paved patio area. She didn't know what else to do. So she watched her husband whilst her hands shook with fear.

Finally James calmed down enough to turn and look at her. She saw the raw emotion sweep over him as he moved and sat down beside her. He enveloped her into a tight embrace and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry to scare you Lily."

"What happened?"

"They came straight for us. I couldn't believe it to start with. There was this bang and people started to scream. A spell came straight for us and Frank deflected it away."

"Frank?"

"Did I forget to tell you? Frank and Alice's dad were there. They were the row behind us. He'd brought Neville to the game too. Frank sort of threw Neville at Alfie and told him to run. He did and Frank was quick enough to block a spell from hitting me and Harry."

"James –"

"We started to fight as people pushed passed us to get out. Remus and Peter jumped down onto the row in front and the four of us tried. But I still had Harry I didn't know what I should do. Then I heard Sirius. He sent a stunner at the one closest to me. He dived down scoped up Harry and went as high as he could so that they wouldn't hit him."

"They said on the radio that Sirius had a baby. I knew it was Harry as soon as I heard."

"Yes and it really helped. We could have used Sirius fighting but I felt better knowing that he had Harry and that Harry was safe. The Death Eaters turned to look at Sirius and it was clear they didn't know what to do. I think they wanted Harry, but he was out of reach. Then the other Aurors turned up and they disappeared away."

"James –"

"They knew where we were going to be sitting Lily. They knew exactly where we were and that I'd have Harry with me. I don't want to say this and hell I don't want to think it. But … Lily there were only three people besides ourselves who knew where I would be sitting and that Harry was going to be there."

Silence fell between them. Neither one had to say the names because they knew. Lily's stomach knotted as all the reasons flew through her mind. It seemed that even if she couldn't see it the truth was now clear. Someone close to them had to be a traitor, and it had to be either Sirius, Remus or Peter.


	140. One Hundred Forty

Chapter 140

It had gotten dark as Lily and James sat outside. Finally after hours of sitting in silence they walked back into the kitchen. Lily locked the door as James put the kettle on. They still didn't exchange words until they were both settled at the table with their cups.

"It can't be Sirius."

Lily wasn't surprised that those would be James' first words on the subject. Lily closed her eyes a moment before speaking.

"You can't deny that he has connections to the Death Eaters. We all know that his family members are involved. And I know that we shouldn't judge him on them but still he could be."

"He ran away when he was sixteen."

"So what? I left home at eighteen and I returned."

"Your parents didn't hate you for your choices."

"You've got to be kidding me James. That's why I left in the first place. They hated the fact I was a witch and they didn't mind telling me that at the end. But they welcomed me back when I needed them."

James was silent for a moment and then shook his head.

"Sirius hasn't gone back to them though. And he most certainly doesn't need them."

Silence engulfed them again.

"It just can't be Sirius!"

"Why not James?"

"He took Harry. He swooped down on top of all the Death Eaters and took Harry off me and flew up to safety. If it is him why do that? He would know that the Death Eaters want Harry and he would stand back and let them take him."

Lily had no argument for that. It was as James said she couldn't believe for a moment that it would be Sirius. The argument that kept coming back to her mind was that Sirius was James' brother in all ways except blood. He wouldn't do anything to harm Harry because he knew how much it would hurt James.

Lily picked up a chocolate biscuit and bit into it as the silence came over them again. It felt a lifetime before James spoke again.

"I can't see it being Peter either."

Lily gave him a small look.

"I know Peter is a bit on the weak side Lily he always has been. But he came to me and Sirius in Hogwarts for protection. He needs to feel that he's safe and if he was mixed up with Voldemort he wouldn't be. I think he cares too much about his own skin to become a traitor. Besides he hasn't any links."

James crossed his arms going back into his own little world. Lily though thought about that some more. She knew she had made a promise to Peter a long time ago but now was the time to break it.

"James he has got the connections."

"What?"

"Do you remember Peter was dating some girl and during that time he and I got into an argument and he didn't speak to me?"

"Of course it was over Sammie's first birthday."

"Do you remember my old friend from Hogwarts? Kayliegh."

"Yeah attractive girl rather spoilt. What about it?"

"She was Peter's girlfriend."

"Way to go Pete!"

"She's a Death Eater. Or rather she was."

James face changed.

"What do you know?"

"Remember Moody sent me out to bars and things. She was the reason why. I was watching her. She was meeting with someone from the Order. It turned out to Peter. We had some rather harsh words and he told me that it had ended. I've no doubt that he isn't seeing Kayleigh anymore rumour is she's dead. But it has to bring in some questions. Who's to say he didn't become a Death Eater while dating her?"

James became very quiet. His hand went to his face and she could hear his fingers brush the stubble that was sat on his chin.

"That does open up some possibilities. We know that Peter feels the need of protection and maybe he thinks that with the way the war is going Voldemort can protect him better than we can, or even Dumbledore."

"He shouldn't need protecting though James. He's a grown man with the ability to fight."

"I know Lily. But that's how Peter's mind works. And yet still I don't think it can be him. No listen. Peter may be a lot of things but a convincing liar. Come on you saw the way he tried to blame Cassie for the broken bowl. He was obviously lying. I just don't think he could pull this off."

Cassie was their owl. A couple of weeks back Peter had dropped a crystal bowl that had belonged to James' mother on the floor. They had been able to put it back together no problem but Peter didn't want the blame so tried to lay it on the owl. James was right on that performance there was no way Peter was going to win one of those muggle Oscars!

But with two people out of the race Lily knew that it only left Remus.

"James you can't honestly think …"

"I don't want to. But he has more of a motive than the others."

"He feels like he owes you and Dumbledore. You guys took him in and trusted him and kept his secrets. And Dumbledore gave him a chance in life when no-one else would have. There's no way he would repay all that by turning on you. He thinks of you and Sirius as his brothers. No I'd say it was Peter over Remus any day."

"I don't want it to be Remus either Lily. But he is a werewolf. And I know we don't judge Remus on that but other people do. Maybe Voldemort is giving him a better deal, maybe he doesn't realise why Voldemort wants Harry."

"James its madness no. When would Remus have made contact? He doesn't have anybody that is a Death Eater like Sirius or Peter."

"But he went away. After Carly's death Remus went missing for two months. He's never told any of us what he did in those two months. He could have made contact then. Lily Remus is more likely to be the traitor than anyone else."

"Dumbledore or Moody are more likely to be traitors before Remus!"

Lily and James just exchanged silent looks. The truth still remained that even if there were reasons to believe their friends were traitors they didn't want to see them.


	141. One Hundred Forty One

Chapter 141

Lily munched on her toast as James paced the living room with Harry. He was in one of those moods today where he just wanted to cry. Lily had been up most of the night with him. She thought maybe he was coming down with something.

"I've called Moody I'm not going in today."

"James you should."

"Harry isn't well and you haven't slept. Plus I think I might go and see Albee see what he can tell me about the idea of a traitor."

"He believes it James. Simple."

"But he must have some clue as to who it is?"

Lily shook her head slowly.

"No I don't think he does. The truth is that Dumbledore wants to see the best in people he always has done. So being faced with this he can't tell who it is. He's in the same boat as we are."

"Well he should know. He's Dumbledore!"

Lily understood that feeling. Everyone took for granted the idea that Albus Dumbledore knew everything. It was the fact that he was the greatest wizard of their age. Nobody messed with Dumbledore, they all respected him and everyone knew that he was the one figure who Voldemort feared. He had always been reluctant to strike Hogwarts because of him. The idea that they were faced with something he himself didn't know the answer too was scary.

"Knock knock."

Lily turned to see the backdoor open and Sirius pop his head around it. The man looked how she felt. Black bags were under his eyes, stubble all over his face and his hair was as messy as James'. It was clear that he hadn't slept.

"How's our boy?"

Sirius walked straight over to James and looked at Harry. Lily watched James look at her over his friends shoulder. He mouthed a three smalls words at her 'not the traitor'. She felt that way too. Sirius had saved Harry, taken him on the broom and flown high above the Death Eaters.

Lily stood and put her plate in the sink. With a simple flick of her wand the dishes were washing themselves clean. She then walked into the living room where Harry had finally stopped crying. He was too busy pulling on James' and Sirius' hair.

Taking a seat on the arm chair opposite the two men she looked closely at Sirius.

"How are you doing?"

"I spent six hours yesterday in talks with the Quidditch league. They called all the teams in the country in and basically told us the season is over. You know I think that's it for me now. I've been playing Quidditch professionally for nearly six years and this is how it ends. With an attack."

They went silent for a moment before Lily spoke up.

"Looks like most Quidditch players finish that way these days."

She didn't need to go in depth about it, but the two men knew what she meant. Quidditch games had always been considered safe. There had never been an attack in a stadium before. But attacks had finished off most of the players.

Larry had been killed in an attack. An attack in her old flat. Lyn and Ryan had been killed in an attack, an attack in a pub. Almost thirteen other players had died that day in the same attacks. Then of course there was Gideon, he too had died in an attack, an attack in Diagon Alley. The stadiums had never been attacked but the players had.

"People are talking about that you know."

Sirius' voice was low and almost non existent.

"It's been three years and most never talk about it anymore. It's mentioned in passing as the saddest day in Quidditch but that's it. And now it's all everyone is talking about again. How this time it was the fans as well as the players."

"But nobody was killed this time Padfoot. It's different."

"Not really Prongs. Quidditch has been cancelled again. People are afraid again. It's turning. The tide is changing and we're all losing the things that matter to us in one form or another."

Lily's eyes connected with James'. Sirius had no idea about the prophecy. He didn't know that Harry was being hunted. He didn't know about a traitor (unless it really was him) and yet… he'd managed to hit the nail on the head. He'd captured the words to go with their feelings. The tide had turned and the end was coming. But what the end would be Lily could only guess.

* * *

I'd like to take the chance just to get this out in the open now. I am aware that I have been writing this story for three years now and to some people that seems an age (although my FFMN story has been going now for nearly 6 years) but in response to a review. No I am not dragging this out.

I am aware that this is a very long story but I always knew it would be like that because of the time frame that I set up. This story is covering a period of about five or six years. So it was never going to be a ten chapter story.

I've been asked if I am dragging this out to reach 200 chapters. That is not the case. I have the entire story planned out. I know that some chapters are short (this is only 2 pages) and others are long (some are 10) but that is because I change chapters when moving onto a different aspect, or time period.

For those that would like to know there are 170 chapters. By chapter 148 we will have reached August and only two months until the time period of this story ends. But the reason there are another twenty chapters is because of the choices that are left to be made. I intend to explore them as deeply as I can.

One reviewer asked if I was trying to lose my readers. The truth is that if I lose readers then I will be sorry for that. But this story hasn't been written for reviews and readers. It has been written for me. I written it to try and learn what style I like best, what sort of story suits me. And I am pleased with this.

So if you feel that this is a pointless story, that has dragged on then please feel free to stop reading. I don't want anybody to finish this because they feel they must. I want you to read it if you like it. I always knew there would be people who hate it. But I like it and that's all that counts.

I know this may seem like a rant but it isn't. I feel that I needed to address the question of where this is going and its length. And although the response may in fact be longer this chapter I am not sorry about that.

Kris xx


	142. One Hundred Forty Two

Chapter 142

Although most people had hoped that the fear would end with May they had been wrong. Quidditch was over but attacks continued. Several taverns had been hit by the Death Eaters and a number of witches and wizards were laid up in hospital with injuries. They were the lucky ones. Eighteen had been killed in a raid of seven pubs.

Then there were the other attacks. Homes of leading opponents had been hit causing several leading ministry members to vanish. Suddenly the charm network was blooming. So many people were putting up 'protective' charms around their homes that people like Mundungus Fletcher were making a shed load on the black market.

By mid June people were starting to realise that the terror was once more prominent. The lull in attacks had given people a false sense of security over the last six or so months. Suddenly they were awaking from a mildly pleasant dream to a nightmare. But if the average wizard in the street was worried that was nothing to those in the Order.

"You've got to be kidding Dumbledore!"

Dedalus Diggle slammed his fist on the table causing everyone to look at him. Dumbledore though merely lowered his head in a sort of nod. It was enough for most of them to realise he wasn't kidding.

"I wish that this was a joke Dedalus. Although saying that it would be in bad taste. I don't like those jokes… although there was a good one I heard about Santa and a mince pie –"

Moody loudly cleared his throat and Dumbledore looked sideways at him.

"Yes alright. Maybe I'll save that one for our Christmas party."

The old Auror gave half a smile at the Head master as if agreeing that Christmas was indeed the best time for jokes.

"But how can you be certain?"

Emmeline Vance had voiced this question.

"From a reliable source and that is all I am willing to divulge to you at this present time. Please don't take this personally but all the information points to a spy here within our Order, and it's somebody on the high level who is privy to all Order meetings. The only people who come to all the meetings are sat here today."

Dumbledore looked around at them all. Lily felt almost as if his eyes saw right through them. There were only thirteen of them sat in the room together counting Dumbledore himself. Lily looked at each one carefully. Alastor Moody, Dedalus Diggle, Frank and Alice, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore, Remus, Elphias Doge, Sirius, Peter and lastly her and James. Albus was right they were the core.

She knew that others came to the meetings sometimes. Hagrid was prone to showing up, as were McGonagall or Flitwick. Albus' brother had turned up once and then there were those working underground who would show up once in a blue moon like Mundungus.

Scattered worried chatter broke out around them. Lily wondered how worried they were. Some had to be more worried than others, like the traitor. Her eyes skipped to Remus, Sirius and Peter in turn but all three looked surprised by the announcement.

"It makes sense I guess."

All eyes spun to Frank and he gave a little shrug.

"Well it does. The attack at the Quidditch stadium to me screams inside job. How else would they have known where J… I mean where to attack."

Lily was grateful that he skipped what he had really meant to say. Her eyes connected with Alice's for the briefest of seconds. Only the four of them (not counting Albus or Severus) knew about the prophecy. Secretly they had already agreed that the Death Eaters had come that day for Harry.

"Frank what the hell are you on about?"

Sirius had his hands in the air in a confused manner. But Albus spoke up quickly.

"It does not concern you Sirius. But Frank I feel that you are right. That day they were after a target and the only way they could have known the target would be there was through a traitor. That of course narrows down the list but I don't accuse any of you … not until I am shown proof."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something but went silent. Albus looked around at them all again and Lily caught his eye.

"Attacks have been on the increase and several of my informants have been lost to us. Others are now too scared to continue on for fear of what will happen if they are found. I am sure that the intentions of everyone here are to defeat Voldemort but just as I have spies in his ranks he has proven time and again he can have spies in ours. So I urge you all to take the greatest of care from now on. Anyone among us could be passing information on, voluntarily or not so."

Lily closed her eyes steadying her breath. Maybe the traitor wasn't one of his own choosing, maybe he was under some enchantment. And yet in the core of her bones she knew that whoever was betraying her family was doing so out of choice.

* * *

I know this chapter is really short but that's because really it is a filler chapter. I need to have the idea of a traitor planted in Sirius' head for things to work out later on. So hence this chapter. But it should be moving along faster now. We are quickly coming to the end of the story now. I hope to have this finished by the end of June (before I go away)


	143. One Hundred Forty Three

Chapter 143

"I think I fancy a cold drink."

"Yeah me too."

James looked at Lily. She knew that like Peter and Sirius he wanted to go and have a drink. She knew that he was feeling the pressure of a traitor as badly as she was and just wanted some time away from it all.

"Why don't you boys go on your own? I want a word with Albus anyway."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and he kissed her cheek gently before the four boys turned and started to walk off down the corridor. It was the most bizarre feeling to be stood in Hogwarts watching the four of them walking away. It was almost like things were going backwards in time and not forward. But there was no way to bring the past back to life.

Shifting Harry's weight a little to make herself more comfortable she leaned against the wall. His little eyes were shinning as he looked at a suit of armour.

"Do you like that?"

"Yes."

She smiled down at him. He had started speaking about a month earlier. Simple words mind nothing over the top. He called her mama and James dada and he had recently picked up the words yes and no. Sirius was determined that his name would be his next word. He spent many hours sitting with Harry saying Sirius and the boy would reply yes.

"Look."

"Harry that's a new word!"

"What do we have here? Oh it's bossy Evans, Mudblood Evans."

"That's Potter now!"

The poltergeist turned upside down and blew a raspberry. Harry laughed at that and copied him. Peeves looked angry at that as he turned the other way up. He opened his mouth to say something when Albus came out.

"Lily what are you still doing here?"

Blowing another raspberry Peeves zoomed off down the hall. Harry seemed to think this was the most fun in the world and continued to blow his own. Albus laughed chucking his chin.

"This ones going to be trouble."

Lily simply nodded as she tried to get a better hold on Harry as he threw his body forward to try and go upside down as Peeves had.

"Albus could I have a word with you?"

The twinkling blue eyes met hers and his head nodded slightly. They walked down the halls looking ahead. Lily gave a small sigh.

"It must be so good to get to stay here."

"It does have its advantages but it can also be lonely."

"But you're always surrounded by people."

"But never the ones you love."

His voice went quiet and Lily thought of conversations she'd had with Bathilda. Albus' past was one that was gossiped about by some but she respected him too much to comment. But she knew that his father had gone to Azkaban and both his sister and mother were dead. As for his brother well she'd seen them together and there was a love hate thing going there.

She was so lost in thought that she was surprised when she found herself on the moving staircase up to the office. Harry was twisting around in her arms trying to look backwards. That was until they entered the office. Fawkes gave out a call and came down to the floor. Harry was instantly off her lap and crawling after the bird.

"Harry be careful."

"Fawkes won't hurt him Lily. Don't worry."

"I was thinking more along the lines of Harry trying to pull his feathers out."

"Fawkes is a tough old bird. He's capable of taking care of himself."

Lily watched as the phoenix lowered its head to Harry's level. The little boy made a gurgle before reaching up and patting his head. It was the same thing that Harry did when Sirius became Padfoot.

"See everything's fine. Now Lily what is bothering you?"

"I want to ask you about Severus."

The man interlinked his fingers but made no other inclination.

"Do you trust him?"

"That is a double barrel question Lily. Severus has many secrets and faults. I think we both know that he is out for himself first and foremost on most occasions. But as for the information he is giving me well yes I trust him."

"And you don't think he's passing information back to Voldemort."

"He most certainly is."

"What?"

"Lily I trust Severus because it is love that has brought him to me. We both know how powerful a weapon love is and that Voldemort does not understand it and so underestimates the impact it can have."

Lily understood that. Severus had gone to Albus because of his love for her. He had told her as much on the occasions that she had spoken to him. Everything told him that what Voldemort was doing was what he truly believed but his feelings for Lily override the rest. So he was willing to go against his own principals and beliefs for her.

"But for Severus to do what he is doing he needs to demonstrate that he is Voldemort's spy. That means that some information must be passed back to him. But Severus and I have private conversations and discuss what it is he shall pass on. Voldemort doesn't believe that Severus is part of the Order so he believes that it is information he has learnt through listening closely at the school. So minor information is what he passes on and my locations, when and where I travel too."

"And he most certainly didn't pass on other information. Information that has led to deaths."

"He doesn't know that information. He is out of the loop so to speak in that manner. This is why I'm even surer now than before that there is a spy among us."

"It's scary. James keeps saying that there have always been spies among the Order but it feels worse now because whoever it is has got to be close to us."

"How do you know that?"

"Severus warned me that it is someone who has told Voldemort that they are close to me and James. And that circle has grown so small over the years that now it can only be three people."

"And the incident at the Quidditch game has proven that to you Lily."

She nodded as she turned her attention back to Harry and Fawkes. The boy was holding the bird's feathers tightly as the bird skimmed slightly off the ground.

"Fawkes don't do that!"

The bird looked at her but kept going. Harry's little feet were inches off the ground. Albus gave a small chuckle.

"It will be alright Lily. Fawkes can hold a much heavier load than Harry. Plus it's no higher than those toy brooms."

They shared a look both knowing that Sirius had been using toy brooms to try and teach Harry to fly. Lily also knew that James was doing the same. With a little nod she looked back at the boy.

"Albus I need to ask you a favour."

"Yes."

"I made a pact with Petunia before Christmas. If anything happens to me I want her told. I want her to know what really happened to me. Not that rubbish that the ministry sends to muggle relatives. After everything I've put her through I want her to know the truth."

"Of course."

"Thank you."


	144. One Hundred Forty Four

Chapter 144

When Lily returned home it was to an empty house. She suspected that it would be hours before James returned. He would be happy down the pub with the boys not thinking about the troubling times but reliving old times. She knew that they liked to talk about old pranks and schemes that they had done. Of all the adventures that they had had.

Many times through the years she had thought that the four of them had been a wrong mix. They encouraged each other on to do more outrageous and dangerous things. It had started simple enough with pranks and little tricks and then they had moved on to scheming bigger and bigger pranks. Then they had become Animagi and led a fully grown werewolf around Hogsmeade.

All those little things though were school kid level (except for those involving Moony) but she felt that it had set a precedent for the rest of their lives. They had become adventure junkies. Sirius had gone on to be a Beater which on a professional level was known to be dangerous whilst James an Auror. Then all four had joined the Order straight out of school and fought. It was because they needed the adrenalin rush after all those years.

Lily often fretted that it was a trait that could be inherited. She hated the idea of Harry being in school pulling pranks and making schemes. She hated the thought of him getting into trouble for going on 'adventures'. She wanted him to be like her, she wanted him to be sensible and keep his head down and study. But from the way he had behaved with Fawkes she was sure he was going to be a flier. She was sure that he would find trouble and that she would sit at home worrying about what her little boy was up to.

But then she sometimes thought that as long as he got to live to go to Hogwarts she'd be happy. He was the target that Frank had mentioned. His sister was dead along with most of their family friends. So if he got into a little bit of trouble would it really hurt? Albus would be there to make sure that he didn't go too far, and Severus would be there to punish him, it would be his way of getting back at James.

The sound of the back door brought her back to the present. Raising her wand she moved into the kitchen ready to defend herself from whoever had entered her home. It was too early for James so it had to be some Death Eater out on the prowl.

"Lily wait!"

"Sirius what are you doing here?"

"Trying to use the bathroom."

She lifted her wand higher.

"JAMES! YOU'RE WIFE HAS GONE MAD. GET IN HERE!"

The backdoor opened again and James stuck his head inside. He gave a soft laugh and rolled his eyes.

"It's alright Lily. He's not trying to kill you or Harry. He just wants to take a leak."

"Thanks mate."

Sirius pushed passed Lily and she heard his feet on the stairs. She followed James out into the garden and found a pile of bottles at his feet.

"I thought you were going to the pub."

"That was the plan. But it's a full moon in a couple of days and Remus is feeling really ill this month. So he decided to go home to bed. And as for Peter he had his drink then announced that he had a date and left. So Sirius and I decided to come back here and have a few in our lovely garden."

"Do you think one of them was lying?"

"Well the full moon is in two days and Remus has been known to take to his bed on a bad month just prior to it. And Peter well I would have said it was a lie but then you told me that he has dated Kayleigh. So maybe he's gotten some confidence with girls now and is really dating. Quinn in the office said he saw Peter with a pretty blonde a few weeks back."

The back door opened again and Sirius came out with Harry in his arms.

"Listen to this. Harry who am I?"

"Us."

"He can say my name!"

The grown man bounced his godson in the air happily. The boy made a gurgle laugh before blowing a raspberry. Sirius lowered him wiping spit out of his eye.

"That ones new."

"Yes well Harry met a new friend today who showed him that."

The two boys looked quizzically at her and she fought the urge to laugh.

"Peeves."

Both boys gave a nod as Sirius put Harry on the grass. He crawled over to some shrubs and pulled the head off one of the pink flowers.

"I wouldn't hurt Harry you know."

Sirius' voice held a little bit of hurt. James didn't say anything as he watched his son. But Lily turned to look at the man.

"I know. It's just that –"

"I think Remus is the traitor."

Both James and Lily looked at Sirius now. He gave a little nod as he dropped down onto the grass next to his best mate picking up a bottle.

"You can't know that Sirius."

"Lily it has to be him. I mean he disappeared for months and then just suddenly turned up again. He disappears for days at a time lately coming back covered in bruises. He never tells us where he went when we ask and he's acting weird."

"That's circumstantial Sirius. That's not enough."

James' voice was quiet as he looked at his friend. Sirius though was looking directly at him.

"I'm not going to pretend to know what Frank and Albus were on about with target but at the Quidditch game they wanted Harry. I took him up into the air and suddenly all the spells were aimed at me not you. And they think a traitor gave away the 'target' well if it was Harry only five of us knew where you would be. And the three of us didn't say anything so that leaves Peter and Remus. And Remus is the more suspicious of the two."

"Lily we need to tell him."

Her stomach knotted as James looked her straight in the eyes. She felt that it wasn't Sirius but what if they were wrong? What if it was really him? But then if it was he probably already knew about it. Her eyes went to Harry. He was rolling on the grass like a dog usually would. She gave a little nod not taking her eyes off her son. James gave a small sigh before he started.

"There is a prophecy Sirius. I'm not going to tell you where it came from but it concerns Voldemort and either Harry or Neville."

"What?"

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh months dies… and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives."

James recited it word perfect. Lily wasn't surprised she could say it in her sleep. They had spent hours going over it that neither was likely to ever forget it.

"I don't understand."

Sirius voice was soft and quizzical. Lily finally looked at the man and spoke.

"A couple of months before Neville and Harry were born that prophecy was made. Voldemort found out about it and is taking it seriously. He looked into so much and discovered that Neville and Harry were both born at the end of July, the seventh month. We and the Longbottoms are the only ones to thrice defy him. And for some reason he has decided that the prophecy is about Harry. He's trying to kill him."

"OVER MY DEAD BODY HE WILL!"

Harry stopped rolling and made a chocking sound. James was over to him instantly. Sirius' outburst seemed to have scared the small boy. But within moments he was happily trying to catch a butterfly inches above James' head.

"Sirius calm down mate."

"Look I promise you that I am not the traitor. I couldn't do that to anybody especially you guys. You're my family. I would rather die than hurt you. Please believe me."

"We already believe it isn't you mate."

Sirius gave a grin to James.

"So you think it's Remus too then."

"No we do not Sirius. James and I don't know who it is."

She was sure of this fact. Her face showed how much faith she had in Remus. But the look that passed between Sirius and James said something quite different.


	145. One Hundred Forty Five

Chapter 145

June was coming to its end and the summer was turning out to be warm and sticky. Harry was winy and Lily was finding it hard to settle him. He didn't like the heat and Lily didn't blame him. She had always been a sunny day girl but with her skin she was prone to burning. And beetroot skin with her hair wasn't a nice mixture.

She had always preferred the time of change. Spring was her favourite when the weather changed becoming warmer and brighter. The time where she could lose her jumpers and coats and start wearing long sleeved t-shirts and things like that. And then there was autumn. When it started to get cooler and the leaves would change colour. She loved the difference that the two months brought. She wondered which Harry would like.

She wondered if he would follow James on that too. James loved winter. The snow on the ground and the mist that formed when speaking. He loved the clear night skies that caused shivers to run down your back whilst you stood looking at the stars. But mostly he loved Christmas. The chance to spend time with the people you love without thinking of all the bad. Because for just one day there's only the good.

"Lily juice."

Alice's words drew Lily's attention in time to stop Harry from spilling his apple juice down her white skirt. With a look at her friend she took the training cup and put it on the table. The pair were sat in the garden at Alice's home. It was smaller than the garden in Godric's Hollow but it was beautiful. And it afforded them some piece from Lily's neighbour.

"So do you think it's a good idea Lily?"

"Sorry Alice I zoned out. What idea?"

The blonde made a dramatic sigh as she lowered Neville onto the grass. The small boy crawled straight over to the garden pond. Like the one in Lily's front garden it had been enchanted to stop them from touching the water and falling in. From Neville they heard the word 'fish' as Harry quickly crawled over to join his little friend.

"I was talking about the boys birthdays. Frank wants a big party but I don't think its such a good idea what with the circumstances. So I figured that maybe we could do a joint little bash here for Neville and Harry together."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"What do you have planned?"

"Nothing. The boys will probably come round but that's all."

Alice was studying her carefully and it was a few moments before she spoke up.

"Are you still worried about the whole traitor thing?"

Lily nodded.

"We told Sirius everything. After Albus' announcement he made this big speech about it not being him and we never thought it was. But he's convinced its Remus and I think James is coming round to that idea too."

"And you don't believe it."

"I just don't know. I hope its none of them but it has to be. And Remus does have the reasoning but I don't think he'd turn against us. He thinks James is a brother and he feels he owes too much to Albus. I just I can't see him working for Voldemort even if it did bring him acceptance."

"Because he already has that from the people he wants it from."

Lily gave a little nod and a sigh.

"But Peter. I don't know if he could pull it off. I'm not trying to be horrible or anything but I like the man. But he's the weakest link in the chain which makes it logical that he would be the traitor but I don't think he could hide it."

"He's hidden secrets before."

Lily knew that Alice was talking about Kayleigh and she was right. But there were other things that he had hidden. He had hidden his role in the Order from the world for years, and he had hidden Wormtail away too. She knew that only she and the boys knew that little trait. He was capable of hiding things. But then he had never hidden them from the boys.

"I don't know. I just don't think he's capable of hiding something that big from the boys. I mean they knew he was dating someone and that he was shy about it. But for him to be a traitor and nobody to know. I just I don't seem him as strong enough for a secret like that."

"Mama look!"

Neville had yelled and both Alice and Lily looked to see a magpie sat on the grass. Both saluted it without really thinking as the two boys laughed and crawled towards it. The bird took flight and their eyes went sky born with it.

"Gone."

Harry's voice sounded smaller than Neville's as he turned and gave Lily a little hopeless look. She had noticed that ever since his meeting with Fawkes Harry had taken a liking to birds. Cassie their owl was constantly on alert for the small boy who thought that she would be able to carry him as Fawkes had.

"You know Lily a little party might do you a world of good."

"Who would be coming?"

"Well Augusta Franks mum would be there. And her brother Algie and his wife Enid. My dad Alfie will be there with my step-mother Dolores. Then there would be you and James and with you Sirius, Remus and Peter. I think Frank mentioned something about Moody popping in for a quick hello. Umm … and Sturgis Podmore and Emmeline Vance were talking to Frank at the last meeting about a party for Neville. So they would probably be there as well."

Lily gave a small little nod before looking at a tree.

"If there was an attack would they be able to fight?"

"Why would there be an attack?"

"Because we would be having Harry and Neville together and the traitor would know it. It could be a good opportunity for Voldemort to get rid of them both at the same time."

Alice gave a small little nod as she looked at the two boys who were now pulling up handfuls of grass and throwing it in the air.

"Well obviously the Order members would be able to fight; we're all use to it. Dolores wouldn't be able to she's on her way out of the world –"

Lily made a funny sound that caught Alice's attention.

"The healers reckon another six months at best. She's got some disease or something that they can't help her with. Don't know what. My dad he would be able to fight. He's not the most stable with a wand but he'd give them hell. Algie and Enid well just if there is a fight don't be near Algie he tends to get his spells mixed up but Enid is alright. As for Augusta Merlin help anyone who takes her on. She's a battleaxe that one. My dad once told me that she was there when Albus fought Grindelwald and that she actually spat at Grindelwald!"

Lily didn't know what to say to that. She hadn't really thought of a birthday party for Harry but he deserved one. And why not have a joint one. If things went wrong they'd fight.

"Okay. Let's have a birthday party."


	146. One Hundred Forty Six

Chapter 146

Chapter 146

It was July 29th and the birthday party was in full swing. Lily had forgotten how much time and effort it took to organise a first birthday party. Thankfully Alice was there to help her. They had made lists of things that they needed to get. They had spent ages thinking of food and entertainment and whatnot.

In the end the pair had settled on some banners which flashed 'Happy Birthday Neville and Harry' and multicoloured balloons that when popped sang Happy Birthday. So far Sirius had managed to 'accentually' pop about five of them.

They had decided to have the party in Godric's Hollow as the garden was much bigger and could fit everyone in comfortably. This was a good sign of foresight because more people had turned up than they had expected.

They had invited Augusta, Algie, Enid, Alfie and Dolores from Frank and Alice's family and Sirius, Remus and Peter from James and Lily's. Sturgis Podmore and Emmeline Vance had also shown up along with Dedalus Diggle and Elphias Doge. Much to their surprise Hagrid had arrived from Hogwarts with presents for both boys and stayed for the party.

Then there was Moody. He hadn't just stopped by to say a quick hello. He had seemly brought most of the office with him. Several of the Healers Lily had once worked with showed up. She happily spoke to Charlton, Roger and Stephanie. She was pained to learn that Charlotte and Kenneth had been killed several weeks back in an attack in Norfolk.

She watched as Alice spoke to Tiffany and Gregg two young Aurors who Frank had taken under his wing. She wasn't surprised that Quinn, Dougie and Scott were stood laughing with James; they were after all his work mates.

Maybe though the most surprising party crasher was Albus. Nobody saw him arrive but he was spotted when his hat burst the sixth balloon of the day causing Sirius to cheer. It was a much enjoyable day and Lily couldn't believe that she had doubted it at all.

Both boys were having a fuss made over them by everyone and were crawling happily on the grass. Although it seemed like they were unsupervised several pairs of eyes were on them at all time. Lily even stepped in when Neville was picked up a party goer she hadn't been introduced to out of fear that maybe a Death Eater had gotten in.

As the afternoon wore on it was time for cake. Lily and Alice held the boys above the large chocolate cake as everyone sang happy birthday. When the boys tried to grab at the candles they lost their chance to blow them out as Uncle Algie stepped in. Harry grabbed the old man's ear and laughed as he yelled out in pain. Neville quickly followed suit. Lily was then forced to listen to 'gran' give a lecture about how Harry was leading little Neville astray.

By five o'clock both boys were fighting to keep their eyes open. It had been a long day and Alice and Lily took them up to bed. Charms were put in place so that if anyone went in they would know instantly. Then they headed back to the party. It felt good to be relaxing for one day without any worry or doubt about the future.

As the light was beginning to fade and candles lit Lily found herself sat on a garden chair with Albus.

"A lovely party Lily. I haven't been to a first birthday in a very long time."

"I'm so glad that you were able to come. I know how busy you are."

"That would be why you forgot my invite."

Lily blushed but the man simply smiled at her waving away the worry.

"This birthday cake is wonderful. I think I shall go an have another slice."

Lily watched the man leave shaking her head. Something's it seemed never changed.

* * *

Okay so this chapter is once again a filler. There seem to be more of these at late. But I have actually changed the plot line. I had a five page chapter written to follow this with Snape going to their house and telling them about a traitor. But it seemed to be repeated of what I had already done. And it seemed to hinder and come to soon for what is coming after it. So although I really enjoyed writing Snape and James together (and having James hold Snape responsible for anything bad that happens to Harry) I have cut it. And by doing that I had to cut a good page off this chapter and the substance has gone making it filler. But it will be picking up again soon. That's a promise.

I also want to say now that I plan to have this story finished in five/six weeks. The reason for that, well its because I leave on the 29th June and I won't be back until August. And while I don't mind going a month without updating my other stories this one is so close to the finish that I want to get there. I have a clear outline now and the final chapter count is 169. I have ten chapters left to write and so I'm hoping to post three times a week if I find the time. So you may find that the chapters are going to be coming quicker than they have in a very long time.

Kris xx


	147. One Hundred Forty Seven

Chapter 147

Severus waited until the door opened and then took three steps inside the room. The heavy clunking sound signalled that the door behind him had closed again. Severus was very careful not to think of anything as he waited for the voice he knew would be coming.

"What news do you have?"

"There are whispers that Dumbledore suspects there may be a spy in his inner circle. There have been rumours running around about the Quidditch game."

"Yes but what plans does he have?"

"None that I have been able to detect at the moment. He has a spy in the lower levels that I am sure of. It is someone who is able to contact Moody easily. I think it might be one of those low level crooks. Maybe Xochipilli Butterworth. He keeps getting arrested for blowing up muggle toilets in hotels. He's already drenched their Prime Minister three times this month."

Severus looked up at the Dark Lord and allowed their eyes to connect. He knew that Butterworth wasn't a spy; he knew that Butterworth was a loyal Death Eater. But he also knew that the Dark Lord would believe him over Butterworth. And there was no way he was feeling bad for the petty crook. He allowed his master to enter his mind and knew that he was seeing what Severus and Dumbledore had allocated as necessary.

"Indeed. And I see in your mind that there is a plan looming with Dumbledore. What is it?"

"He seems sure that you are to go after either the Potter's or the Longbottom's. As yet he is unsure which family you feel is the threat. So he has decided to get the two families to hide away. He wishes them to stay out of sight and hopefully out of mind."

"That will fail."

Severus lowered his head. A cruel laugh sounded.

"You doubt me Severus. You believe that an old fool such as Dumbledore will be able to protect that Mudblood and Blood-Traitor from me. Me the greatest wizard ever!"

"Of course not My Lord."

"But you do Severus I can sense it. Or are you once more upset over that filthy Mudblood. You desire her do you not?"

Severus closed his eyes and took a quick breath.

"Yes My Lord. I have desired her for many years. But that has nothing –"

"There are other women Severus, women who are purer of blood. Women who are more worthy of a man with talents such as yourself."

"I know that –"

"And so you will have no problem with the knowledge that I am in the process of organising an attack on the Potters."

"My Lord please could you not spare the woman. She is talented in ways above most of the Death Eaters. She would be a great asset. And with her husband gone she would marry me and come to our way of thinking."

"You believe that Severus. But a woman such as her would never follow the man that had robbed her of her children. She is after all a weak woman for she believes in love. You do not believe in love do you Severus?"

"No My Lord. Only desire and want."

"And your desire for her will lessen once she is removed from this world. She is a magic stealer. She is not worthy of a wand nor of you. She will die and you will find someone of better blood. Maybe Eva Rosier. She is coming up for eighteen and would be a good match for you Severus."

"As you please My Lord."

Severus kept his eyes down but once more the Dark Lord's voice sounded.

"You still seem to doubt me Severus. That is not a good trait to have. Those that doubt me are thrown from my circle into death. Do you wise that?"

"No of course not My Lord. It is just… after the failed attack at the Quidditch match Dumbledore has put everyone on alert. I believe that the Potters will be expecting an attack."

"That is why I will be sending one of their little school friends after them."

"What?"

"Remember who you speak to Severus! The traitor that Dumbledore is worried about. It is true. I have one of their little friends working for me."

"You have put one of them under the Imperius Curse."

"There was no need. Some persuasion goes a long way Severus. You should remember that."

"Who is it though? Is it Black? Lupin? Pettigrew?"

"That is something that you don't need to know Severus. After all Dumbledore is as good a Legilimens as I am."

"And I am excellent at Occlumency."

"But yet not good enough to keep me out of your mind. And therefore you would not be strong enough to keep Dumbledore out. Who it is is of no importance for you."

"When will you be attacking?"

"When the time is perfect. When they least expect me to. But it will be soon. Before the end of this year the Potters will be wiped from existence and all hope that the foolish resistance has will be lost."


	148. One Hundred Forty Eight

Chapter 148

Severus hated the fact that it was August and summer. He was back in Spinners End. He was no longer in Hogwarts were he had constant access to Dumbledore as and when he felt the need to see him. It was harder now. He needed to be more careful about making contact.

He had decided at the end of June that he would not make contact unless it was of the utmost importance. He had of course gone once or twice on the Dark Lords demands to feed Dumbledore 'false' information and get stuff for him. But this time it would be risky.

There was a chance that this was a test on his part. His feelings for Lily were well known, not the extent of them, but they were known. His school peers had known they were best friends and that meant the Dark Lord did too. He had begged the Dark Lord to spare the girl when it came to the family destruction. He might be followed.

Yet it was worth the risk. Severus had contacted Dumbledore he needed to tell him the gravity of what was happening. For many months they had all known that the Potters were a target. They had speculated for ages that there was a traitor who was close to them. But this was the first time the Dark Lord had spoken about the traitor. It was clear now that one of Potters mates was going to get his Lily killed.

Although the summer heat was still attacking Severus pulled a cloak around himself and appeared in a forest. A smile would have slipped to his lips usually thinking of this place. He sat on the grass by that tree when he had first told Lily about Azkaban and the Dementors. It had been in this very spot that she had worried about being accepted as a muggleborn. He remembered sitting there and looking her straight in the eyes at the tender age of ten and telling her that it didn't matter, not to him.

But it had even back then. Muggles were bad, his father had been. But that didn't mean that muggleborns were. And yet all of them apart from Lily he had treated as scum. Maybe this was his payback. To risk his life day after day to bring down a man who he shared ideas with.

"This place is rather close to your home is it not Severus?"

"Nobody will think to look for me here."

"But is this not a place where you and the then Miss Evans use to come to? Anybody who knows of your connection to her may think of this place."

"There is no-one left except for yourself who realises what Lily still is to me."

The old man shot him a look and Severus crossed his arms looking at the man who he for so long had despised. He hated that this man believed in muggle rights. That this man championed them. But it was only when delving further into his past that he realised they had a connection.

Severus hated his family background. He hated that a muggle man had done so much damage to his mother. Dumbledore hated that muggle boys had destroyed his sister. Both had in some way attempted to dominate the muggle world, only he had gone further than his old professor. But now the two were joined in a battle to right their earlier mistakes. Dumbledore for the memory of his family, and Severus for the woman he loved.

"He has admitted it to me."

"What?"

"Earlier this night I was called before the Dark Lord. He discussed plans to attack the Potters. He has started organising an attack plan. I do not pretend to know the details, only that he plans for it to have taken place before the end of the year."

"We knew that an attack would be immanent Severus. That is not reason enough to call me here."

"What about the fact that he told me that he will be 'sending one of their little school friends after them'? Is that reason enough?"

"He said that."

"Yes."

"Lily has none of her school friends left."

"She has me!"

"Not in public she doesn't. That just leaves –"

"Black, Lupin and Pettigrew. I have already asked the Dark Lord which one it is but he refused to tell me. He underestimates how good I am at Occlumency."

"That is not the only thing he underestimates Severus. But no he will never give you the name because of your position within Hogwarts, plus your feelings for Lily."

"He believes that it is just desire for a pretty face."

"Yes and that is just one of his downfalls. But he will wonder if you will warn her given the chance. You have already pleaded for her life. He will never tell you who the traitor is."

"Dumbledore we need to know. You need to keep Lily safe. You promised me that."

"Indeed."

"You have to tell her. She needs to know."

Black eyes locked with a pair of piercing blue ones.

* * *

I know that this is another short chapter. But there will be another post tomorrow.

Kris xx


	149. One Hundred Forty Nine

Chapter 149

"Harry eat your toast like a good boy."

Lily entered the kitchen just as the toast hit James in the face. The little boy laughed as his father wiped jam from his chin.

"With an aim like that you'll make a fine chaser son."

"You're suppose to tell him off not praise him for Quidditch skills."

Lily was grinning though as she sat down to a steaming cup of coffee. James leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

"So what are your plans for today then?"

"Well I thought I'd take Harry down to the muggle park to play on the swings for a bit. Then I'd come back here and put up the small paddling pool in time for Harry and Sirius to have a water fight this afternoon."

"Sounds fantastic."

"What time should you be home from work tonight?"

It was a pointless question and they both knew it. But it had become part of a custom with the pair of them. With all the attacks that took place it didn't matter what time James was expected to finish he hardly ever did finish on time. And it was just as bad starting. Already twice that week (it was only Wednesday!) James had been called into work early.

"Six o'clock but don't expect me until about seven."

"So you'll be home in time to put Harry to bed."

"Yep. I'll be here by seven. I'll give him his bath and put him to bed at seven thirty. I'll even read him the tale of Babbitty Rabbitty and her cackling stump."

He shot her one of his charming smiles and all she could do was laugh. They were disrupted though as the sound of a knock on the front door ran through the house.

"Who could that be? It's still barely past seven!"

James walked into the living room as Lily took another mouthful of coffee. Harry was gurgling happily as he munched on his soft toast. Lily gave him a smile and his mouth opened to show her all the food as his green eyes sparkled.

James came back into the kitchen and she caught the look on his face. This wasn't going to be good. She thought for a moment there had been an attack and he was leaving when Albus walked in behind him.

"I'm sorry to intrude so early in the morning but I have some important news for you."

Albus was directed into a seat opposite Lily. He was within throwing distance of Harry but the small boy only stared at him. His chubby little arms waved the toast in the air. He lost his grip and Lily almost groaned at the jam in her son's hair. With a wave of his wand James cleared it up sitting beside Lily.

"Can we offer you some toast, or tea or coffee or anything?"

Albus shook his head at James as he looked back at Harry.

"Such a small boy. Who would think he's causing so much trouble."

"Too much like his father that's the problem."

James shot Lily a look but she just smiled. Albus seemed in a world of his own for a moment. Then shaking his head he looked back at Lily.

"Our mutual friend has some information that he wishes me to pass on to you."

"Mutual friend? What mutual friend?"

Lily was looking at Albus but she answered her husband's question.

"Severus has become a spy for Albus. Has he learnt anything about a spy?"

"Voldemort has confirmed that he has a spy in the Order and that it is one of your school friends. I have thought this through and it has to be someone still close to you. He does not know of your continued relationship with Severus Lily. So it has to be Peter, Remus or Sirius that he is talking about. It is now certain that one of them is against us."

"Snape! Lily, Snape!"

Lily and Albus both ignored James though. Albus continued.

"It is certain now that there is an attack planned on you before the year is out. Severus doesn't know when but he did say that it is going to be through the traitor. We need to discover who it is."

"But how can we?"

"We set a trap."

James seemed to come to his senses again now.

"What sort of a trap are you thinking of? Because there are innocent men involved in this."

Albus gave a curt little nod.

"Severus and I have discussed that. We feel that you must take a week off work James. Tell the ministry that you need a small holiday to recover from the stress that you have been facing. They will grant you that. Then you tell each of your friends that you are going away. Only you tell them all a different place."

"Oh and what? You're going to wait to see if Voldemort attacks one of those places?"

"Exactly."

While James had sounded sceptical Albus sounded reasonable. Lily closed her eyes and wished for an easy life. For the first time ever she wondered what her life would be like if she'd never attended Hogwarts, if she'd never joined the Order or married James. Her life would certainly be safer. But as she opened her eyes again safety, clam, a dull life wasn't what she wanted.

"We'll do it."

"Lily!"

She simply looked at James with a brief little smile. Her eyes lingered on Albus though. If they would mean Harry would be safe, well a small lie would be worth it.

149

Albus arrives at Lily and James home

Tells them that Severus was called before Voldemort

Tells them that one of their friends is a spy

Leaves them with a few choices

One of which is too leave


	150. One Hundred Fifty

Chapter 150

It had been nine days since Albus had sat in the kitchen with the young family and six days since they had 'left' for their holiday. James hadn't been impressed with the idea and kicked up a bit of a fuss with Lily until she laid the law down so to speak. In the end he had agreed and they had seen their friends and told them of their holiday ideas.

They had started with Sirius. He had laughed at the idea of them taking Harry to the Lake District. They though calmly told him it had been the location of their engagement and they thought it would be a good location. Sirius had nodded and accepted the fact. He had offered to check up on the house for them but they had insisted that Bathilda would do that and it would be fine.

Secondly they had spoken to Remus one night over a chicken casserole. Sirius had gone to the pub with a young witch named Kathy and nobody had seen Peter. They had discussed the need to get away for a few days. Remus seemed to think it was a good idea. When they had told him their plans to go to Devon he claimed to be envious of that.

Lastly they had found Peter. James had gone down the pub with the boys and when Peter excused himself to the gents James had gone with him. Apparently that had been when James had told the boy that they would be going to Snowdonia.

They had spoken to the boys the night before they 'left' at a BBQ in their back garden. Nobody discussed where they were going but they happily spoke about how a week away would do them good. Lily was beginning to wish now that they had really slipped away somewhere for the week.

She had considered a muggle deal. A week in Spain in the sunshine with a large pool, and the sea close at hand for them to go swimming in. She had only ever been to Spain once before. She remembered having fun with her family there. It would have been nice to take a little holiday together. But the time wasn't right.

The week was turning out to be quite carefree and fun. Although they had to be careful. Bathilda believed that they were in Cornwell, so they had to make sure she didn't see them. That had been James' idea. He figured that if he was to be at home for the week it would be just the three of them.

So they spent quality time in their own backyard. It was good thing really that their house was the very last in the lane and that their garden backed onto a small wooded area. Nobody ever ventured there so they were left quite alone. So the three sat in the garden playing games and reading books.

Lily happily sat and watched as James and Harry splashed through the tot's paddling pool. She laughed at the way that James would fall into the water and Harry would climb all over him. She must have used up an entire roll of camera film on them just in the pool. Then there were the flying lessons. James couldn't risk getting his broom out so instead used Harry's toy one to fly around the garden. The little boy crawling after him.

The night before they were due to arrive back home Lily was giving Harry his bath when a knock sounded through the house. Her heart began to thump until she heard James calling up that it was Albus. Lily shouted hello down to him as she wrapped Harry in a large bubbly bath towel drying him down. The small boy laughed pulling at the strands of hair that had fallen from her ponytail.

Gently dressing him in his pyjamas she put him into bed and told him the tale of Sleeping Beauty. She knew that James preferred it when Harry was told the wizarding stories but she liked the muggle ones. She loved telling him about them and thinking about how the muggles believed in the idea of magic but could hardly wrap their mind around it when they discovered it was true.

Harry's bright eyes so much like her own were battling a losing battle as he tried to stay awake. Finally after a number of minutes they closed for the night as his thumb found its way to his mouth. She kissed his forehead as she pulled up the thin cotton blanket to cover his small body. It was too warm still for thicker blankets.

Turning off the light she closed the door and made her way down the stairs. The two men were sat on the sofa with drinks in their hands. From the looks on their faces Lily instantly knew that the plan hadn't worked. She didn't need Albus' words to confirm it. As she dropped on the armchair with her own drink she felt like the world was crumbling around her. She wanted this all to be over so that she could actually start living her life again. But somehow she felt it would be a very long time before she'd be able to live again.


	151. One Hundred Fifty One

Chapter 151

The last days of August slipped away and September arrived. Once more young witches and wizards had excitedly made their way to Kings Cross and boarded the Hogwarts Express. Families had said goodbye to their sons and daughters unsure if they would ever see each other again. The war had taken many parents from their children during the school term.

James was once more thrown into his work. Attacks were happening more and more now. There were rumours that the ministry had been infiltrated. Worried workers wondered how long it would be before Voldemort and the Death Eaters killed the Minster and took over fully. But so far that day hadn't occurred.

Several 'Death Eaters' had been captured during raids and failed attacks. But the Death Eaters captured were no more deadly than Harry or Neville would be. Mostly they were young men and women who were under the Imperius Curse. They had no will to attack.

Although that all seemed bad the worse came on the night of the full moon. A small village named Dudley in England was subjected to an attack from Fenrir Greyback and his 'followers'. Lily's stomach had turned when she had heard the news the next morning. A number of muggles were in St. Mungo's suffering from werewolf bites. This was one of the worse attacks in the war since the muggles didn't know about werewolves.

Lily was so upset by it that on that occasion she had left Harry with Sirius and gone into the hospital. It had taken her a while to be allowed to help out. They were understaffed and over overstretched on that morning. But finally she found Owens and with his blessing she was back into the swing of things. It was almost like she had never left. She felt so much relief flow through her as she did the best she could to help.

In that moment she thought about returning to that job. For the first time in months she realised how much she missed being able to leave the house and go out to work. It had been months since she'd been involved in a fight with the Order and this had always seemed to be a way of helping to her. And suddenly she had given it up.

As she had returned home it was with the knowledge that one day she would return to that job. When the war was over and Harry was safe she would once more be a working mother. It wouldn't be too difficult then. She would be able to do those things. She would be one of the people helping to rebuild the wizarding world. She just hoped that that day would be soon.

It was the third week of September and Lily was tucking Harry into bed. She heard the back door bang close and knew that James must have just arrived. He had taken to heading straight out into the garden upon his return of late. Lily couldn't work out why.

Turning off the light and shutting the door Lily walked down the stairs and out into the garden. James had a can of muggle beer in his hand and he was sat on the floor looking up at the stars. The summer heat had died away two weeks earlier and the cool autumn breeze had struck. It was warm enough in the days but at night like now the wind was bitter.

"You'll catch a cold if you don't come inside James."

"Heating charm. The floor is quite warm."

He patted the concrete slab next to him and Lily lowered herself down onto it. He had always been good at charm work (not as good as she was) and she felt the heat through her trousers.

"Should I ask what happened?"

"We found Stanley Gubb this morning."

"That's good."

Stanley was a seven year old boy who had gone missing three days before. His parents had been killed in the family home and had had their blood drained. It was an attack that had been seen countless times during the war.

James' hazel eyes locked on hers and she knew that whatever it was it wasn't good.

"James."

"He's dead. It looks like it might have been Greybacks work."

Lily shivered. Even when it wasn't a full moon that creature was terrible. She couldn't call him a man because he was nothing like a man. She hated to think of werewolves in that way because of Remus but the truth was that Remus was a man with a condition; Greyback was a werewolf all year round.

Lily rested her head onto James' shoulder as she looked up at the night sky. He seemed to be off in his own mind.

"Do you miss the good old days Lily?"

"Do you mean Hogwarts?"

"Everything was so easy back then. The biggest problem in life was whether my detentions were going to fall on a night I had Quidditch practice or worse during a game. Squabbles that we had were over small little things that in the scale of things didn't matter. And nobody was killed."

Lily gave a little laugh.

"Do you remember in our fourth year Macnair said something terrible about the Quidditch team and Sirius jumped on him and pounded him until he was black and blue?"

She heard James' raspy laughter.

"Yeah and you screamed at Sirius to stop it otherwise he'd lose us house points –"

"And Lyn put a silencing charm on me before cheering Sirius on!"

His chuckles made his shoulder move and sent vibrations through her body.

"I miss those days Lily. I miss our friends."

"Me too."

He handed her his beer and she took a sip as she looked up at the three stars that made Orion's belt.

"I think its time we think about going into hiding."

Lily almost chocked on the liquid that was running down her throat. Coughing she sat up and looked her husband straight in the eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"Things are getting more out of control than the ministry want people to believe. There were another three attacks last night. And …"

"And what James?"

"We captured Storm, Lee Storm. He's been a Death Eater for about nine or ten months now. We got a tip off about a month back and have been watching him carefully. Frank brought him in today for muggle torture. In questioning he looked straight at me and laughed. He told us that whatever we did wouldn't stop the deaths. Then he said that we were next."

"James –"

"We both know that there is going to be an attack on us sooner or later. And well I'm beginning to think its going to be sooner. And no matter what I think I feel as though I won't be able to protect you both. I feel that its time for me to leave the ministry and for us to go underground."

Lily didn't smile; she didn't acknowledge the relief only the fear. All the months that she and James had been together he had always been her strength. She felt safe with him and for the first time she was beginning to see cracks in that faith. If James was worried then it was for good reason.

"I was thinking we could go back into the muggle world like you did."

Lily took his hand and rubbed it with her thumb.

"We'll never be able to settle if we go into the muggle world. He'll expect that this time. He'll have thought about my connections to the muggle world. I think we'll have to do something else."

Their eyes locked and Lily spoke very softly.

"I'll have a word with Albus."

* * *

Okay so two posts today. Like I said I'm trying to post the last twenty chapters in four weeks. But the reason for two today is that I don't feel that much happened in the last chapter. We know now that the spy is clever and didn't fall for the trap. So things are stepping up now.

More post … umm maybe tomorrow, or Tuesday

Kris xx


	152. One Hundred Fifty Two

Chapter 152

Lily put her mug down and looked around the pub. The Three Broomsticks was almost empty and she wasn't surprised by that. She remembered how it had always been brimming with people in her youth. But then again there had been a number of students all pushing to get inside.

As she crossed her fingers under her chin a small smile came to her lips. She hadn't realised that she had thought her school days as her youth. She was barely twenty four as it was. She was still in the youthful years of her life. In fact in comparison to the man she was waiting for she was only a child.

But she felt older than her years now. She realised that her grandparents had been right in many ways throughout the years. They had always told her and Petunia that they had been forced to grow up quickly due to war. They had laughed that aside and claimed that their grandparents were lying. But suddenly she felt that they were probably right.

She didn't want to dwell on what she had lost but those losses had forced her to mature in ways that most twenty something year olds didn't have too. And it wasn't just her. She was aware that the entire wizarding world was older than it should be. Maybe those muggle sayings were right. That the first casualty of war was innocence. After all it was innocence that made you young. When you were young you weren't corrupted.

Lily had spent many long nights worrying about Harry's innocence. Would that be stolen from him before it was time? Would he be allowed to grow up at his own pace? Somehow she doubted that and it struck her with so much fear.

"Would you like a refill?"

Lily looked up at the Land lady and smiled.

"No thank you."

"It's not often we see you around these parts anymore."

"It's not often I get out with a small child."

"You should tell that husband of yours that he should spend a Thursday night at home and let you out to drink this week."

She gave a small chuckle as the woman walked back to the bar. Thursday night had always been boy's night. Even when she had been dating James in Hogwarts. On a Thursday she would meet up with Lyn and the girls and he'd go off with the boys. Now she didn't go out. Really the only person she had to go out with was Alice and the woman would stay in too with Neville.

She made a sigh and looked at her watch. She would have to head up to the gates soon. She had asked Albus to meet her. She had thought long and hard about a location but with the sensitive nature of her request Hogwarts was the best location, actually his office was the best place.

Downing the last of her drink she stood up wrapping her cloak around her shoulders and stepped out into the chilly afternoon air.

* * *

"Password."

"Jelly Slugs."

Lily had been met by Hagrid at the gates to the school. The man had grinned and told her about the unicorns that he had been taking care of. He'd also started to tell her about a herd of Hippogriffs that they had just started to breed in the grounds. Hagrid had always been excited about the animals and Lily liked that about him.

She had found Hagrid to be an imposing character when she had first met him. But she had quickly learnt that he had a heart of gold and over the years she had gotten friendly with him. She would never claim that he was one of her closest friends but she liked him. There was nothing bad about the man.

He had offered her the password to the Headmasters office and left her at the doors to the school as he went to go and check on his Hippogriffs. She had waved goodbye to him as she had stepped inside. The chatter of the school was non-exist thanks to the last lessons of the day. She had timed it for that.

The walk to the corridor she needed had been uneventful and she was stood on the rotating steps quicker than she would have expected. Knocking on the door she stepped inside to see a tiny bird flying around the office.

"Lily so good to see you. Please ignore Fawkes he's just started flying again."

During her schooling years Lily had on occasion been in the office and on the years after she had gotten use to the visits. She had seen Fawkes at his best and at his worse. It seemed that it was now about a week since he had burned back to a newly born chick. She smiled as she ducked under him and took a seat.

"I'm very thankful that you have agreed to meet with me. I know that you are a very busy man especially during term times."

"Not too busy for you Lily."

"Ah but I feel I impose too often upon you."

The man gave her a soft smile. It was true. Whenever she and James had a problem it seemed that of late they turned to Albus. In truth it was war related and he was knowledge in ways that Lily could only dream of. He seemed to know what she was thinking.

"What is so urgent then Lily?"

"James is convinced that an attack on us is close. He wants us to go into hiding."

"Is this goodbye then?"

She gave him a coy smile.

"Not yet no. I was hoping that you could help us. The only form of hiding that I'm aware of is going on the run. We could possibly go to another country but that will only be a short term solution. And the only other thing I can think of is to go to the muggle world. But we could never settle there. We would have to keep moving and that's not practical with Harry."

The old man closed his eyes for a moment before looking at Lily.

"Leave it with me. I shall find something."

* * *

I want to point this out now before somebody else does. In this version Lily is 24 years old but in the cannon she is 21 when she dies. I know that but there was a two year gap between Hogwarts and the start of this story so that has pushed her age up.


	153. One Hundred Fifty Three

Chapter 153

Lily left the Headmasters office and walked along the corridor. She took in all the detail as she walked along the well trodden corridor. She had walked this path so many times whilst a teenager and she still regularly crossed it. But her stomach knotted with doubt. She felt that this was one of the last times she'd be doing this for a very long time.

A bell rang and she heard hundreds of feet as the students left to get their evening meal in the Great Hall. Going down one of the staircases she watched the faces turn to her. She smiled at some of them. She realised now for the first time that her generation had fully left Hogwarts.

It was a really strange feeling. It was now seven years since she had been a student. Everyone that had been students here whilst she had been had now graduated. Those first years in her last were now in the real world. That more than anything made her feel old. Those looking at her wouldn't remember her as the Head Girl, they wouldn't remember those arguments she had screamed in the Entrance Hall with Severus, now their potion master.

Her stomach dropped suddenly. Severus. Without thinking of anything else she turned towards the dungeons and walked down them. She was aware that some students saw her and that it wasn't the smartest of ideas. There were children of Death Eaters here, children who given half a chance would become Death Eaters themselves. They would happily follow her and watch what she was doing.

She got down to the bottom corridor and smiled. She couldn't help but remember all the hours she had spent down here in her younger days. There had been her potion lessons, Slug Club meetings and sneaky meetings with Severus. It was rather funny thinking back about it, and thinking about what she was planning on doing now.

The potion room door was open and she peeked around it. Severus was sat behind his desk with a pile of papers in front of him. That didn't surprise her in the least. She knew him so well. He would wait another half an hour before going to the staff table and having something to eat. He would then return to his office and grade papers before picking up some novel and reading it for two hours.

He must have felt eyes on him because he looked up. The smile that came to his face was one that she had seen a thousand times. He was on his feet walking towards her instantly.

"Lily! What a pleasant surprise."

"I'm glad you think so."

She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She locked the door before hearing him mutter something. A buzzing sound starting and she knew instantly.

"Do we really need that spell?"

"Were you followed?"

She shrugged and gave him a sheepish grin. Then she moved and found the old desk that she had always sat at. He took his old seat next to her and they just looked at one another.

"Why do I get the feeling this is goodbye again?"

"Because it might be."

His head was in his hands at that. She patted his back gently and spoke in a very low voice.

"Have you found out anything new?"

"Nothing. Dumbledore keeps asking but there is nothing new. There is a spy; the spy is close to you. But who it is I don't know."

She nodded as a small sigh escaped her lips.

"You're not going to like this Sev."

"What?"

"James wants to go into hiding."

"King Potter! You've got to be joking."

"Severus! Lee Storm was captured yesterday. He threatened James with the news that Voldemort is going to attack us soon."

Severus had shivered at the use of his master's name but Lily ignored that. She had become too use of that over the year or so she'd been back in contact with her old friend. But she felt strange suddenly sat back there with him.

She had gotten use to having him back in her life. And although she had gone years without seeing him it felt strange that she would have to go for weeks, months possibly even years without seeing him. His head came up and she looked into his eyes.

"We have to do what is best for Harry. He's only a baby and he can't take care of himself. But that doesn't mean we're running away. We're still going to be out there and when the time is right we'll be back in the fight. We won't stop until this is over."

"When are you going?"

"I don't know. We've waiting on some information. But Sev this is probably our last meeting for a while."

He had stood up and walked over to his desk. Lily was on her feet following him over. She knew that he hated this. He had always hated goodbye. He had hated that he had caused them to say goodbye all those years ago and he hated the fact that he was too blame for this goodbye. After all he had been the one to pass on the prophecy.

He turned and looked her squarely in the face.

"Promise me this isn't goodbye forever. Promise me that we're going to see each other again soon."

She drew him into a tight hug.

"Of course it isn't. This is just a see you later thing. You watch by the end of this year I bet Voldemort will be defeated and we'll be able to see each other again."

It was a promise that they both knew held no true meaning. Voldemort was so strong that they had no idea when he would be defeated. But it was a nice thought and something they could both hold onto.

Severus hugged Lily tightly too him.

"I love you, you do know that."

"Of course. And I love you too Severus."

She kissed his cheek before stepping back to look into his face.

"Do you realise you're becoming the man I always knew you would be. You're doing the right thing Severus and never doubt that. What Voldemort stands for are lies and murders. But we're fighting against that and so are you. I'm proud of you Sev."

A smile came to his lips and hers widened.

"You know when this war is over everyone is going to see you the same way I do. They'll realise that you're a great man and they'll see your best side."

He gave a chuckle as he leaned in and kissed her cheek back.

"Lily you just keep yourself safe right."

"You too Sev."

They hugged each other tightly once more before letting go. And then with so much difficulty Lily left the room unsure of when she would ever see the boy who had for so many years been her best friend again.


	154. One Hundred Fifty Four

Chapter 154

Lily stood on the edge of Godric's Hollow and allowed her tears to fall freely. She felt stupid to be stood there crying but she couldn't help it. Although things had been real for so long it was only now starting to hit her how much was about to change.

She was so use to her life. It wasn't perfect not even close. But she liked it. She liked the adrenaline rush she got out of the fear. And that was something she had never admitted before. The truth seemed to be that she was as caught up in what was happening as James and their friends.

She had gotten use to the idea of living through a war. She was aware of the dangers and she found that they thrilled her. The fear of never knowing what was coming made you live your life to the fullest. Never living two days the same was a way that she had become accustomed too.

Suddenly the thought of living life in a quiet risk free manner seemed boring. And yet that was her chance of life. She knew that part of her screamed that that wasn't living. But it would be. She would be with her son and her husband. They would be safe from the dangers. She would be bored but it wouldn't, couldn't last forever.

And there were advantages. Maybe she and James would have another child. Harry was one now, it wouldn't be too difficult having another, especially if they were both home. She rubbed the tears away thinking of a family. She wanted more children, she knew that much.

As a little girl she had always dreamt of having a large family. Maybe four or five children. She had always thought of a little boy, then a little girl, and then twin girls followed lastly by another boy. That hadn't worked out but it was a dream she still held. She wanted more children. She was pretty sure that James wanted more too. A large family. And if they needed to hide away to have that so be it.

But hiding was only part of the problem. It hadn't dawned on Lily until that afternoon that to hide would be to say goodbye to everyone. It was stupid really she had gone just before Christmas. She had spent a month on her own. But she had always known that if she wanted to she could walk back into everyday life. This would be different. There would be no going back.

They would be forced to say goodbye to Sirius, Remus and Peter. Not to mention Alice, Frank and little Neville. No more Order meetings with Albus, no more drinks with the Aurors. And Severus. Today had been her goodbye to him again. She hadn't wanted to say goodbye to him. She had expected him to laugh it off and say that he'd see her in a few days. But they both realised what they were facing.

Was this really goodbye for her? Her stomach knotted with the worry as she slowly walked up the lane towards her home. If she and James did this it really could be the final goodbye. Others weren't going into hiding and that would mean some of them would die. She knew that there were people that she would never see again. But the truth was she had no choice.

As she pushed open the gate she felt her stomach jump. How long would she get to call this place home? This was Harry's first and only home and they would likely have to leave it to go into hiding. They wouldn't be able to stay here that much was clear. It felt like an age since she had really looked at it. She had just taken it all for granted. But in the clear evening sky she took in the details.

The two story white cottage stood as always in the centre of the garden. The ivy that had climbed the wall on that first day still lingered between the left window and door. But more than before Lily now saw that as the character of the house.

Slowly she walked up the flagstone path away from the gate heading towards the front door. The lush green grass sent a pleasant aroma as it stretched out on either side of the path. About halfway along she stopped and stepped onto the soft green carpet and looked over the small pond. She remembered her first reaction to seeing that.

"_We can't keep the pond."_

"_What? Why?"_

"_It's too dangerous for Sammie. We can't have a pond and a small child."_

"_Ahh thought ahead there. We've already put a safety spell on it. Try and put your hand in, go on."_

Lily remembered the smile that had lingered on James' face as she had reached her hand around the lotus plant and the water Lilies. She remembered how cool the water had felt on that first day against her fingers but she hadn't been able to lower them anymore. In that moment she had really realised that James was a father. He had thought of everything.

Things had certainly changed since that day. Sammie was gone and Harry was here. The seasons had changed and the tadpoles had become frogs. The fish had grown and yet that spell had remained. Really this had always been a perfect home for them. The idea of leaving this place was as horrible as the idea of leaving their friends. But it was time to move on.

Lily didn't go in through the front door. Instead she walked around the side of the house and came out in the garden. She loved her back garden. She had spent so long planting all the flowers. She cut the grass and had picnics with Harry out here. This was where her family lived during the warm months.

With a sigh she opened the back door and stepped inside. James was at the fridge pulling out some sort of muggle beer. He had really taken a liking to them. He turned at the sound of the door closing and gave her a small smile.

"Are you alright?"

She gave a small nod.

"It's just starting to seem real now. Dumbledore is going to look into some possibilities for us –"

"Not know."

"Why –"

Before she could get the question out she heard a loud laugh that resembled a bark. Sirius was in their living room. She gave a little nod before she heard Remus howl with laughter before Sirius swore. Peter's voice carried into the kitchen.

"That will be five Galleons then Padfoot."

"Come on Wormtail I've got a straight flush!"

"Yes Padfoot. But a royal flush beats a straight every time."

Lily took the can that James offered her before turning and opening the backdoor. Dropping onto a chair she looked up at the night sky. How could she forget that it was poker night in the Potter house?


	155. One Hundred Fifty Five

Chapter 155

The two weeks that followed Lily's visit to Hogwarts seemed to stretch out before her. Her heartbeat seemed to double with every owl or door knock. A knot appeared in her stomach which made her feel sick two or three times a day. She even found it hard to concentrate.

However when Albus did finally turn up it was following a bad day. Harry had caught a cold and was the fussiest he had ever been before. Lily had been up for two nights straight with him. She was shattered and yet she just couldn't sleep. Every time she started to doze somebody would turn up.

For the first time in months she was sick of the company of Bathilda. Alice had popped round at one point but had left almost immediately having found Lily almost falling asleep. She had apologised and Lily hadn't minded that. But Bathilda didn't take the hint. It was only when Remus turned up and sat with Harry that Lily managed to get half hours rest.

So on the last day of September Lily had decided to take an early night. Harry had gone to bed at seven as normal and now only half hour later Lily was getting ready to follow him. James gave her a little smile and kissed her cheek as she stood up. He lowered the volume on the radio and continued to listen to the commentary on the Ethiopia Quidditch team Gimbi Giant-Slayers as they played Uganda's Patonga Proudsticks in the African tournament.

It was as Lily reached the landing that the knock ran through the house. She stopped leaning over the railings wondering if it was one of the boys come to chat to James. She was half expecting Sirius to turn up to listen to the game with them. But the voice that floated upstairs started her stomach to knot again. All the tiredness that was lingering seemed to drift away as she walked back down the stairs.

The Headmaster was sat on the armchair and the radio was silent. Lily looked at James before she joined him on the settee. She took his hand in hers instantly knowing that the time was upon them. Dumbledore had been thinking things over for two weeks and finally he had an answer to their problem.

It was silent in the room for some long moments. It seemed like an impossible conversation to start up. But finally the old man found his voice.

"I have taken a lot of time to look into the best solution to the problem that you have and I think that I have come up with something that cannot go wrong."

Lily looked at James as he squeezed her hand. The Headmaster continued.

"Have either of you ever heard of the Fidelius Charm?"

Lily shook her head to indicate that she hadn't. James stiffened a little looking quizzical.

"Nobody has used that in over a century."

She looked at her husband but his eyes were on the old man.

"And that is why it is such a good idea. It is a spell that was once rather popular but has since fallen into decline. Voldemort will never expect anyone to use that spell considering the strain that it puts on the individual chosen."

"What are you two talking about?"

Lily was watching them as a muggle would a Wimbledon match. Finally the leader of their Order turned and looked her directly in the eyes.

"The Fidelius Charm is a very complex protection. It's an immensely complex spell involving the magical concealment of a secret inside a single, living soul. The information is hidden inside the chosen person, also known as the secret keeper, and is henceforth impossible to find. That is unless the secret keeper chooses to divulge it."

Lily scrunched up her face a moment taking it in.

"So what you're saying is that we use this spell to hide our location inside a person so that we can remain safe."

"Exactly."

James though shook his head.

"It's flawed though. If we don't choose the correct person we can be sold out."

"Yes but if you choose the right person Voldemort can search this village for years and never find you. He could even be stood against your window and not see you. It is the perfect thing for you."

The room became silent and Lily looked at the window for a moment. Then a thought came to her.

"What will happen to the secret keeper?"

Dumbledore gave her a small smile.

"Nothing. He or she will be perfectly safe and sane with the knowledge. You need to understand though that this person alone will know where you are exactly. He or she will be the only person able to speak your address. Neither of you would be able to do that. And this person would be the only one able to tell anyone else where you are."

"So they are burdened with the biggest secret ever?"

Lily felt her stomach drop at the thought of that.

"But if they are truly determined to help keep you safe it will not be a burden to them."

James was looking at his knees. She knew from the way he was holding himself that he didn't really feel comfortable with the idea. And yet the fact he was looking at his legs told her that he knew this was their only option. She realised that too.

"What would happen if this person gave the information to Voldemort?"

"He would be able to walk right into your house without anybody else being able to help you. You would be forced to face him on your own."

Her heart hammered against her chest. She had only one other question.

"What would happen if our secret keeper was killed before the war is over."

"The secret would be passed to those who know of the position before the original keeper died. So you and James would become the secret keepers. And then you would be able to show people the house yourself."

Lily closed her eyes and sat back into her chair. James slowly spoke.

"And we are expected to pick somebody to have this responsibility."

"It is your choice to make. However may I suggest that you choose me to be the keeper of your secret?"

"What?"

Lily and James spoke in the same moment. The old man looked at them with a twinkle in his eyes. Lily knew in that moment he meant his proposal. She looked sideways at James. Dumbledore would be a safe bet. He wouldn't tell anybody where they were and they would know that they would always be safe. Plus there was the added fact that everyone knew Voldemort feared him. And yet he had so many other responsibilities.

It was James that finally spoke.

"That is a very gracious offer. But please understand that we need to discuss this between ourselves."

The old man stood up and nodded at them in his understanding.

"Just don't take to long to make a decision. The sooner you do this the safer you will be."


	156. One Hundred Fifty Six

Chapter 156

Three days had passed since Albus Dumbledore had come to them with a solution to their biggest problem. But the solution was causing them problems in itself. They realised now after so many discussions that it was their only real choice.

There were few other possibilities held for them. They knew that they could go on the run. But that would be difficult enough with just the two of them. Throwing Harry into the mix would make it ten times harder. And they couldn't leave him behind as he was the one that Voldemort really wanted, not them.

Then there was the choice to live in the muggle world. Although she knew that she would be able to cope she realised it would be almost impossible for James. Plus being a muggle wasn't any safer in these days. So many muggles were being attacked and killed. By the next evening they both knew that their only choice was the Fidelius Charm.

But this led to another major problem. One that after three days they were still arguing about.

"We need to find someone Lily!"

"And why not Albus? He volunteered."

"He's got enough on his plate without having the burden with this secret as well."

"But he volunteered!"

"Lily, I know."

They were sat at the kitchen table. Harry was crawling around on the floor after Mischief their cat. Harry was crawling up and as he was about to pull on the cat's tail she would jump out of his reach with a meow. Harry tried to copy the sound before laughing and crawling after her again.

Lily's head was resting in her hands. She couldn't look at James. She was so fed up with this conversation. And yet she knew that it was the most important one that they would ever make. James she knew was stretched out with his hands behind his head. It looked relaxed but he was very far from that.

"James I understand that he is a busy man but he's the best option. He would never tell anybody where we were and more importantly he's the only one Voldemort is afraid of. We'd be safe."

"Until a time when Dumbledore decided that it was necessary to give us away for 'the greater good'."

"James!"

"Lily you and I both know that Dumbledore is a great man. But there will come a point where he will feel that it is time to react and there's no guessing if he will give us away to bring about a head. I trust him but we both know from personal experience that there are layers of information that he has that we don't. And Lily if we do this I don't want us to be a weapon for him."

"So who do we pick then?"

"The way I see it we have four options."

Lily was surprised by that. She was sure he would only give them one.

"Sirius, Remus, Peter and Frank."

"Frank!"

James gave her a soft smile.

"Yes Frank. He's in the same boat that we are and really he's the only one that understands the implications of our actions. He's a solid bloke and I'd trust him with my life. The only downside I can see is that if we are gone Voldemort might decide to target Neville in absence. And Frank will have enough to worry about then without us added to it."

Lily looked up and met James' eyes.

"I don't think Frank would give us away but I think he's got enough problems already. He has Alice and Neville to worry about. And honestly I don't know how much he'd be able to keep from Alice. And if Frank was found out it would not only put him in danger but his family. I don't think I could live worrying about if Alice and Neville were in danger because we were safe."

Their eyes lingered on each other for a moment before they heard a squeal. Harry was sat on Mischief's tail. The cat was pawing at their son trying to move him without pulling out her claws. Harry was laughing as he patted her head. Lily leaned down and moved Harry from the tail. He made a whining noise. But the cat didn't move and when he was placed next to her he again started to pat her head.

"I don't know if I trust Remus enough anymore."

Lily's eyes shot from Harry to James. She could tell that that sentence alone was killing him. James had always prided himself on his loyalty to his friends. And she knew that they prided that in each other. She couldn't agree with James on this lack of trust though.

"I honestly don't think that Remus is a threat to us James. I know that we've discussed the possibility of him being a traitor but I still don't think that he is. It's all circumstantial evidence that is building against him. He's been a werewolf for as long as we've both known him and that has never been a problem before."

"But he left after Carly's death Lily. And yes you have left and come back too. I know. But what did he do? We both know him within our circle, within the Order where he is treated as an equal. But we've seen how the world as a whole treats him. He's an outcast, he's a lowly being, that isn't even considered human. If we hadn't befriended him can you honestly say he wouldn't be following Voldemort?"

"If we hadn't have befriended him things would have been different for all of us! The short of it is that I think he would risk his own life for you. He's our family. He loves you like a brother and I can't see him ever doing anything to jeopardise that."

James leaned forward and slammed his hand on the table. Lily didn't react as he placed his head on the wood.

"I want to believe that. Really I do. But I can't trust him with Harry's life. If there's the slightest bit of doubt we can't choose him. Will you at least agree with me on that?"

Lily leaned over and pulled James' head up to look at her.

"We have to both agree. I won't force Remus on you. We won't ask him. But that doesn't mean he's the traitor."

James gave a little nod. But Lily hadn't finished.

"We don't ask Peter either."

"What?"

"James you have doubts about Remus well I have doubts about Peter. I think he's sneaky. He doesn't stand out like the rest of us and that means that he is able to slip places where we wouldn't be able to. We know he has Death Eater connections –"

"In the past Lily. He's not dating Kayleigh anymore."

"Kayleigh's dead James! And just because he isn't dating her anymore doesn't mean he isn't still in contact with one of her Death Eater friends. I have doubts about him. And if we can't agree on Remus then we can't agree on Peter."

James gave a little nod.

"So it's Sirius then."

"There is one other option."

He looked at her closely. She knew that he wasn't going to like this and he would fight it. But she wanted to say it. She wanted to show that she trusted him enough to have at least thought of him now in this moment.

"Who?"

"Severus."

"I AM NOT HAVING SNAPE BE MY SECRET KEEPER!"

"James he changed sides for me! He loves me more than he possibly should. He's passing information to Albus to try and keep me and Harry safe. I know he would never do anything to risk hurting me again."

"But he has in the past Lily. He called you a Mudblood; he turned his back on you. He even killed Sammie!"

"How'd you know that?"

"There are some things that Aurors are privileged to Lily. This is one of them."

"He's my friend. I just wanted to throw his name in."

"And he's my enemy!"

"But the enemy of my enemy is my friend. And Severus is an enemy of Voldemort therefore he's your friend."

"Don't go using those muggle sayings of supposed logic on me. It's not going to be Snape."

Lily relented giving a tiny nod. James leaned back in his chair again.

"It has to be Sirius then."

"Are you sure?"

"He's risked himself for us so many times. He's kept Harry safe and he's my brother. I know that he would die before giving us away. Sirius is the only choice."

Lily looked James directly in the eyes before speaking.

"We ask Sirius then."


	157. One Hundred Fifty Seven

Chapter 157

Chapter 157

Lily wiggled in her seat as James and Sirius looked at each other. They were about to explain everything to the man and she felt nervous. The moment they told him they would be on the path to what was to come. There would be no turning back from this point on.

"Sirius we need you to swear not to repeat any of this to anyone."

"Sure."

"Sirius promise."

"I promise James."

"We already told you about a prophecy and the impact it is having. Well we've come to a conclusion. We're going into hiding."

"When?"

Sirius looked from James to Lily. Lily gave him a weak smile.

"That depends on you."

The man looked confused and James took over for Lily once more.

"We spoke to Albus and he's come up with an idea. It's called the Fidelius Charm. And it is the best thing we can do. It would mean that not only would me, Lily and Harry be hidden but so would our location. And no matter where Voldemort looked he'd never find us. Even if he was stood outside the door."

"But what has that got to do with me?"

"It's a complex spell that involves hiding a secret inside of a person. And that's where you'd come in."

"Anything."

Lily shook her head quickly.

"Sirius you need to fully understand before you say yes."

Lily stood up and walked over to him taking his hand.

"What would happen would be that the location of this house would live inside you. And only you would know the location. James, Harry and I although living here wouldn't really know. We'd be able to find it but we wouldn't be able to tell anybody else. Only you could do that. So we'd be perfectly safe unless you choose to divulge the location to somebody else."

"So anybody I told would be able to tell someone else."

Lily shook her head.

"No, not unless you die. The person you tell will be able to find us but not tell somebody else. That is until you die. When you die everyone who knows becomes secret keepers and are able to tell people."

"So basically I have to stay alive and tell no-one."

Sirius gave a laugh but Lily knew that he understood what was being asked of him. James patted the man's shoulder before speaking again.

"You should take some time and think this over mate. If you don't want to do it we'll understand. The decision is completely yours."

"If I don't do it who will?"

Lily spoke before James could reply.

"We have options. But we trust you completely so we wanted to ask you first. We know you'd die before giving us away."

"If I don't do it you can't ask Remus."

Lily shot a look at James but the man was looking at Sirius. It was Sirius that spoke again.

"I know he's our friend but he's changing. You don't see it as much, you don't live with him. But the world is becoming more hateful of werewolves and Remus is feeling the heat. He's losing all independence he's ever had. He can't get a single job anymore he's fully reliant on me and Peter. I honestly think that in the changing world the best side for him is the side being offered by Voldemort. And I don't know if he's strong enough to say no anymore. Not since he lost everything."

"He hasn't lost everything! Can't the two of you see that the pair of you and Peter mean the world to Remus? He'd go to his grave for the pair of you like you would him. And all this talk about him as a traitor is just what Voldemort stands for. He's turning friend against friend!"

Lily folded her arms. She hadn't meant to yell but the words had slipped from her mouth. She knew her face was burning red but that didn't matter. The two boys looked away from one another. Finally Sirius spoke up.

"I'll do it. Because if I'm your keeper I'll know that you're safe. And to make sure that nobody can get the information from me I'll go into hiding too."

"Where?"

Sirius looked at James and smiled.

"I haven't got a baby with me. I can go on the run."

"You! Without your bathtub and 'man spray'! You won't last a day mate."

Sirius barked a laugh pushing James.

"I've always thought that going on the run would be fun. I use to image as a kid running away from home. This will be just like that."

Lily watched them thinking it wouldn't be like that at all. This was going to be far from a game. But then it wouldn't be easy to convince Sirius that.


	158. Onw Hundred Fifty Eight

Chapter 158

Lily's stomach tensed as she stood on the street corner. She'd always taken it for granted that she would be able to come and stand here and look at what maybe she could have had. She had always taken it for granted that her life would be as it was. But maybe for the first time she was realising how different it could have been.

If at eleven she had gone to the local comprehensive as had been planned she would be a different woman today. Maybe she would be married with a child, or maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she would have gone to university and gotten a degree. Maybe she would have fallen in with a bad crowd. Or more likely she would be living a mundane life.

The only certainty that she had was that if her parents had decided that she should have gone to a muggle school she wouldn't be in the situation she was in now. She would never have met the fantastic people in her life. She wouldn't be as independent as she was. She wouldn't have married James; she wouldn't have had Sammie or Harry. And she most certainly wouldn't be planning on going into hiding in order to save not only the life of her son, but that of her husband and her own.

A light breeze played with her hair as she wrapped the green coat tighter around her. It was late, almost nine in the evening. The chill of the early October wind was cutting through her. She wondered if her face was all rosy as it always was as a child on November 5th when she stood with her sister and watched the fireworks. A small smile came to her lips at that memory.

Looking both ways she stepped into the empty street. She had been planning this visit for a week. Sirius and James had started going over all the plans and she knew that by the end of this very month she would be hidden away from the world for a long time. She had considered when it would be best to come here, and she figured a Wednesday night, being darts night, would be best.

The footfalls sounded through the silent air. A soft smile spread to her lips as she stopped on the doorstep. Her hand rose to the knocker and gave it a tap. She was aware that Dudley would be in bed and didn't want to wake him by using the doorbell. A light appeared behind the door and then it was tugged slightly open. Petunia's face peered out at her.

"Lily?"

"May I come in?"

The door closed and she heard a chain being removed. Then it opened fully and she stepped inside. Petunia she noticed was in a flowery nightdress. She managed to prevent a laugh from slipping through her lips. It reminded her of a grannies nightclothes. Not something a woman who was in her mid twenties would normally wear.

Lily pulled off her gloves before slipping her coat off and placing it on the hooks kept by the door. Then she unwrapped the long scarf that sat around her neck before giving Petunia a huge smile.

"I won't be staying long. Don't worry."

Things between the sisters had been strained for quite some time. And yet there had been moments of sincere concern from both. They had seen each other before and after Lily's brief period of hiding the Christmas before. Lily had visited after her return to tell Petunia she was back with James. They had exchanged late Christmas gifts, Petunia giving Lily a vase that Harry had destroyed following his birthday. Then Lily had been round on Easter Sunday with a chocolate egg for Dudley. She had been there too with a birthday card and present for her nephew and she had received a card and present for Harry too on his birthday.

And yet there was always the tension lingering around them. They never spoke of what had occurred with their parents. The topic of Lily and Petunia during the start of her Hogwarts years lined the affection causing problems. Yet Lily felt the need to be there then. Petunia looked over her shoulder before turning back to her sister.

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Yes please."

The two walked into the kitchen. Petunia put the kettle on to boil. Lily watched silently as she got the tea pot and placed two teabags inside ready for the boiling water. They were silent as Petunia reached into a cupboard and pulled out two cups. She poured a little milk and two sugars into each cup before leaning against the counter waiting for the click of the kettle.

"Vernon's at darts. He'll be home soon. You shouldn't be here when he returns."

"I need to be home by ten anyway. James will worry otherwise."

"Scared that you'll have skipped out I bet."

The kettle had boiled and Petunia poured the water into the teapot. She replaced the lid to contain the heat before looking back at Lily.

"No he'll worry that I'm hurt, or worse dead."

"Bit over the top isn't it?"

"Not really. Voldemort has decided that we're a threat. He plans to kill us all."

Petunia dropped the teaspoon she'd been holding. The clinking sound of it on the tiled floor resounded through the silent room.

"He wants me dead?"

"No not you, not yet anyway."

Lily looked her sister straight in the eyes. She was impressed by Petunia's next move. She turned around and poured the tea into the cups stirring the contents with a clean spoon she took from the draw. Then carrying both cups she sat at the table indicating Lily to take the seat opposite. She did and Petunia gave her a clear look.

"So we fight right."

Lily grinned.

"How do you plan on fighting a wizard Tuney?"

It was the first time in years that Lily had called her sister by her childhood name. It seemed quite clear that it had been years since anyone had used that name from the look on Petunia's face.

"I'm assuming that that Dumbledore bloke will be helping out, as well as your friends."

"I can ask him to keep an eye on you and your family. But you should be safe. There's no reason for them to come after you."

Petunia looked up from her tea and Lily knew that her sister was reading more into the situation than she was letting on.

"So Voldemort wants you dead. Is this to do with that prophecy thing again?"

Lily gave a soft smile. She had told Petunia about the prophecy the morning she had turned up after leaving James.

"Yes. Apparently he's had enough now. He's decided that the time is coming to strike."

"Well you knew that last year. Severus told you that. Is he still working for Voldemort?"

"Yes and no."

Petunia shot Lily a look.

"He's a spy. But that stays between us. He's been feeding Dumbledore information on Voldemort's movements and plans. And well he discovered something that we were all fearing."

"And that is?"

"One of our friends is a spy."

Petunia became stark still as she looked at her sister.

"One of the boys with a funny name?"

Lily simply nodded. Petunia reached across and took one of her sisters hands.

"What are you going to do?"

"That's why I came here. There's a plan. We're going to go into hiding."

"But surely a wizard would still be able to track you down."

Lily smiled.

"Not the way we're hiding. There's a charm, a spell. It means that we're going to be fully hidden as is the place where we're hiding. Nobody will be able to find us except the person who casts the spell."

"And who is that?"

"It's Sirius. And don't pull that face Tuney. I know that I said that one of our friends is a traitor but it can't be Sirius."

"Why not?"

"Because he loves James in the same way that we love each other."

Lily and Petunia caught each others glances. They both knew that although their relationship was far from brilliant they still loved each other. And the truth of the matter was that they would still do anything for the other, even give their lives.

"So when are you going then?"

Lily put her teacup down and gave a sigh.

"It'll be by the end of this month at the latest. That's why I came here. Because once I'm in hiding I won't be able to contact you, and you won't be able to contact me. I have no idea how long I'll be in hiding for. So this is goodbye for what could be a long time."

Petunia's teacup went back onto her saucer.

"What happens if something goes wrong Lily? I'll never even know."

"Yes you will. Dumbledore has promised me that he will contact you if it goes wrong. But there's no reason to think that it will. You watch in a couple of months this will all be over and we can get back to being the way we've always been."

"Me jealous over your use of magic and you jealous over my wonderful housekeeping and gardening skills?"

Lily laughed happily as she moved around the table. She enveloped Petunia in a tight hug. Neither made any move to let go. Lily's soft voice spoke from her sisters shoulder.

"Just promise me Tuney that you'll keep safe."

"You too Lily, you too."


	159. One Hundred Fifty Nine

Okay everyone. Just a brief little note here. This story is so long that I've forgotten things that have taken place before hand. So that is why Lily is remembering things from her past. And since this chapter has the final meeting of the Order I feel that it's a good excuse to look back. Basically the truth is I find writing Order chapters really difficult. So instead of focusing on current news it's more about remembering how the Order has changed.

Chapter 159

Lily had her eyes on the table. This was so hard. Somehow she hadn't imagined how difficult it would be to pretend that things hadn't changed. She had somehow thought that going into hiding would be simple. But it wasn't. They had to be careful about who knew about it and when.

If the traitor found out too far in advance an attack might be brought forward. They didn't want that. And so now they had to go to Order meetings and other things and act as if everything was normal. It had been difficult enough just hiding the fact that there was a reason they were being targeted.

Looking around the amazing room that was the 'Room of Requirements' Lily was once again hit with a pang. It was four years since she had joined the Order. She hadn't been there since the start; she hadn't joined straight out of Hogwarts like some of the others. She went about her normal life and only entered the world following Larry's death.

She wondered sometimes why she hadn't joined straight from Hogwarts. James had, and she knew that she was as good as he was. She had been the Head Girl, a top student. She had really wondered about that. But maybe she hadn't been ready back then. She hadn't been fighting Voldemort, she'd put her head down and lived her life. In fact it wasn't until Larry had died that she had started the fight.

But she would have fought earlier. If she had been brought into the Order she would have fought from day one. She knew that when she started dating Larry she should have joined. But he wanted to protect her. That was rather sweet. But maybe that hinted that their relationship was always going to be doomed. She needed to be free to do what she had to. James understood that.

But she remembered that first meeting. It was the day Alice had named her Patronus Saphine. She had been so nervous walking into the room that day. She hadn't known what or who to expect. Of course she had known that Alice was involved since she had gone there with her. She had also known about Moody's connection (considering he'd been attacked the same night as Larry) and James. She had expected Sirius, Remus and Peter but she hadn't known for sure.

Every time she thought of that first meeting she couldn't help but hide a little smile. She remembered walking into this room and sitting next to Alice. They had been the first to arrive, with only Albus there. Then the door had opened and Gideon and Fabian had entered. The Quidditch star had blown a kiss at her as he had sat next to her. She had thought it fantastic that the two of them had been involved. Larry and his best friends. It couldn't have been any better.

Following them it had been Moody who had entered. This was the first time that most of them had seen him since his attack. His wooden leg and blue eye had surprised them all. It was strange but now it was hard to image him without them. Lily remembered that Frank had been helping him, and he had basically told Frank where to go. Lily though had thought it sweet in that moment that Frank and Alice were both in the Order. She had imagined being in it with Larry at that time.

Of course a lot of noise had followed on then as James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had entered. It had been like old times in that moment watching them running into the room all laughter. In that first meeting only three other people had joined them. Edgar Bones had arrived with Marlene Mckinnon and finally Hagrid. That was when Lily had realised how diverse a group this Order was. And that had made her think that possibly they were a good bunch to fight with. Nobody would connect most of them together.

She hadn't known then though how much deeper the Order ran, or who else was involved. But slowly from meeting to meeting she became use to regulars. There had been Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Dorcas Meadowes, Dedalus Diggle, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore, Elphias Doge and even Aberforth Dumbledore.

But things had changed over the four years. Now sitting in that grand room once more there were few of those original members left. In their meeting today really there was only a handful. Albus was as always leading the meeting with Moody sitting on his right. Alice and Frank were down the opposite end of the table to Dumbledore. Neville and Harry were rolling around on the floor near them with some toys. Then there were her and James sat next to Alice and Frank so they could keep an eye on the boys, with Sirius two seats down. Next to Moody was Peter, with Remus opposite him. The only other 'original' Order member there was Sturgis Podmore who was giving a speech on the problems being had in the Department of Mysteries at the moment.

Lily knew that Aberforth was in his pub down in Hogsmeade. He hardly ever attended these meetings. It was a known fact that the brothers didn't see eye to eye, and if Bathilda was to be believed Aberforth was the cause of Albus' crooked nose. As for Emmeline Vance and Elphias Doge they were both in London at some fancy meeting about some prize or other that they were involved in. Then there was Dedalus Diggle who was in hospital after an accident with a teapot.

Lily though remembered those others sadly. Gideon and Fabian had met their end with her daughter in Diagon Alley. According to the report of Ollivander five Death Eaters had finally fired the killing curse at them. Then there was Dorcas Meadowes, Alice's sister, who was killed helping Lily and Alice escape from capture. She remembered that Voldemort himself killed her.

Then Caradoc Dearborn had simply vanished. Nobody knew what had happened to him, while Benjy Fenwick was only found in bits. And as for Edgar Bones and Marlene Mckinnon they met similar fates, both had their entire families killed with them.

Since the time that Lily had joined though others had too. There were low level criminals who went where others couldn't, and higher people who seemed to have no connections to Dumbledore or the Order. She knew that many of them had met similar fates. It was apparent to most that being in the Order meant almost certain death.

"Lily what do you think?"

She was drawn from her thoughts and looked around.

"I'm sorry I wasn't listening."

She gave a weak smile towards Albus. She was finding it so hard to concentrate. William Underwood, a reporter for the Prophet, shot her a look.

"That's not like you Lily."

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking about how much has changed in four years."

She knew that William along with some of the newer members were a little confused by this. But those that had been there for so long knew what was meant by that. Every once in a while someone mentioned the changes and it always meant the faces of the Order. The people who had fought and died. She also knew that nobody would judge her on that.

"What I am going to suggest now may come as a surprise to some people here. But I recommend that it is time for certain members of our Order to take a step back –"

"NEVER!"

They all looked at Moody and he had his arms crossed against his chest.

"This is war Albus. Now isn't the time for us to hide away. It is time to fight. To hide would be to say that everyone who has died have done so for nothing."

"I am not suggesting Alastor that you or I for that matter take a back seat. But there are some among us who are facing dangers unbeknown to others. I do not wish for them to disappear completely. But I think that maybe they should not be seen to be aiding us for a while."

There were protesting cries. Lily though sat back in her seat. The time was coming she could feel it in her bones. The time for her to take a backseat, and for James too. With a look from Sirius she knew that her war was soon to be over.


	160. One Hundred Sixty

Chapter 160

It was late when the meeting finally finished. Lily remained sat in her seat watching as the people around her filed out of the room. She couldn't help but wonder when she would meet most of them again. She hoped that they would be safe. But the statistics told her that most of them would end up dead at the hands of Death Eaters, or Voldemort himself.

It was a strange feeling to see them leave. This had been her life for so long. Some yes were people she didn't know but then others. Podmore was a good dancer, once he had a couple of drinks inside him. Moody was a fun guy who knew some good jokes. Those were sides of them that most people didn't see. And she wondered if she'd see those sides again. She hoped so.

She really wanted to say goodbye to them, especially Moody. But that was impossible. She couldn't let on that she was going into hiding. One false move and the traitor could sell them out. They were only safe for the time being because they were thought to be remaining in the open. If they were found out there would be a lot of trouble for not only them but for everyone else involved.

The room emptied out until it was only Lily, James, Harry and Albus left. She knew that the old man understood what was to come from the way he was stood. James shifted the weight of Harry under his arm as the small boy wiggled trying to free himself to get back on the floor and crawl.

"You have come to a decision."

It wasn't a question as much as a statement. Albus was watching them carefully. Lily took a sigh as James made a huffing noise as he shifted Harry some more. Lily was the one to respond.

"We have. We'll be going into hiding on the twenty-third of this month."

Albus shut his eyes a moment.

"That is less than a week."

"Six days."

She nodded her confirmation at that. She, James and Sirius had spoken at length about this. They had decided on that date as it would give them a chance to get things done. Lily had been going to a lot of shops and buying lots of tinned and frozen food to hopefully keep them going until Christmas. They were hoping to be able to come out of hiding at that point.

There was also the fact that James needed to time his absence from work just right. They knew that the lead up to Halloween would be perfect. Although there was madness in the wizarding world families still liked to celebrate that holiday. Plus the date gave Sirius enough time to not only practice the wording of the spell but find somewhere for himself to hide away.

James shifted and Lily took Harry in her hands. She watched silently as James reached into her bag and pulled out a cloak. She knew what it was and knew that Dumbledore had some inkling. He had never seen it up close but now his eyes widened.

"That is your invisibility cloak."

"Yes Albee. I want you to take it for now."

"But …"

His eyes took on a funny look as he felt the material in his hands. Lily felt a shiver of something go through her at that. But as quick as it came it had passed.

"I can't possibly..."

His voice was soft and almost absent as though speaking to himself. But James had caught it.

"I shouldn't need it while in hiding and invisibility cloaks are always useful. I hate the idea of not being able to help and well if you've got my cloak I'll know that some good is still being done because of me."

Albus looked up at them for a moment.

"I shall keep it safe for a short time. Once things have settled and you are free again I will return it."

James smiled happily.

"You'll have too. After all it's going to be Harry's soon."

"Oh James please no. If he has that cloak it's going to be that much easier for him to cause trouble, especially at Hogwarts."

Albus chuckled as James' grin widened. The old man gave her a soft wink.

"I always wondered how he and his friends got away with so much under my nose."

They all laughed for a moment and then a serious air fell on the room. Lily righted Harry up as he tried to roll out of her hands.

"I must ask about your keeper."

"It's Sirius."

James didn't hesitate in his answer. Lily felt the tension grow as Albus looked between the pair.

"I wish to offer once more my service –"

"Albee thank you but we want Sirius."

"I must ask you to reconsider."

Before James could reply Lily spoke up.

"We've thought long and hard about this Albus. This has been the most difficult decision of our lives. We appreciate beyond words what you have done for us and for your offer. But you have the Order to worry about and for us to ask you would be to increase the pressure –"

She could see the man was opening his mouth to speak and cut across him.

"Please don't argue. We really do appreciate everything that you've chosen to do. And we considered you. But then there was Sirius. We know that we can trust him because he wouldn't be able to hurt us. He's proven it time and time again. And we hope you can understand that."

The man gave a very small smile and nodded.

"Of course. I hope that Sirius is as honourable as you hope him to be."

"He is."

James stepped forward as he spoke. Lily watched as he offered his hand to the old man. He gladly took it in his. As they shook Lily watched James step in and give 'Albee' one of his brother-Marauder style hugs. The old man looked a little startled before patting the younger mans back.

As James stepped backwards Lily wrapped her arm around Albus hugging him as best she could with Harry clinging to her. The small boy though let go of her and clung to Dumbledore's arm. He chuckled as Lily wrapped both arms around him.

As they stepped backwards and James took Harry once more they all looked at each other. It was a strange moment to be sure. Finally Albus spoke up.

"You take care of yourselves until next we meet."

Lily gave a tearful smile as James nodded his head repeating the last four words.

"Until next we meet."

* * *

Okay this chapter was really really hard to write. Because do they hug Dumbledore? Is he sentimental when it comes to them? Everyone has their own opinions. I personally think he would have hugged them farewell. I think that so much had passed between them that he would have done that. If you don't I'm sorry. But that is what is happening.

And now we are reaching the end of the story. There are only 8 real chapters left, and an epilogue. And this is goodbye to Dumbledore. It's rather strange. I'm so use to having Dumbledore turn up every couple of chapters.

Anyway tell me what you think

Kris xx


	161. One Hundred Sixty One

Chapter 161

It was October twentieth and things were in full swing now. Lily had everything that she could think of stocked up in the back room upstairs. There were spare clothes, in different sizes for Harry in case he grew. There were toys, books and wrapping paper ready in case they had to spend Christmas in hiding.

Then there was an expandable charm on the freezer which was pilled high with frozen vegetables, meat and other things. The cupboards too had been expanded and there were so many tins inside that Lily was worried that she'd spend the rest of her life trying to eat her way through them.

Then of course there were the bathroom stuff. Another cupboard had been expanded and there were enough of those things to last at least a year. Hopefully that would be fine. Although she did think that maybe as long as they were disguised they may be able to pop out for the odd thing every once in a while without people talking.

Although they had all the goods that she felt that they would need there was one thing that they were nowhere near ready to deal with. And they were quickly running out of time to deal with that. The truth was that Sirius was the only friend that knew what was about to happen. Lily and James both felt terrible because it would mean that the others had no idea that these were their last few days with them.

The plan was originally for everyone to be invited over on the evening that it was happening and to be told then. That way it would be too late for the traitor to sell them out. Yet that left them feeling terrible for the others. So they had come up with a compromise. They were going to tell them all that evening. They just hoped that the traitor wouldn't sell them out until after it happened.

Lily was scared by this. But James seemed confident. He felt that if there was a traitor that person wouldn't really want to see them dead. So he would wait until after they had done it to tell Voldemort. Lily though wondered if he would attempt to save his own skin instead.

So Lily had finished with putting things away and was now happily making a Sheppard's pie for them all to share. She didn't usually cook for the group at large, that was Peter. But it felt good to do it. It was something going back to her muggle roots. Something as a little girl she had been taught to cook by her mother.

By seven it was almost done which was good considering their guests were starting to arrive. Frank and Alice were the first at the house. She knew it was because bedtime was seven thirty at the latest. So it gave them a chance to get Neville settled upstairs with Harry. Watching Alice fuss over the two small boys she realised that she would miss this. It had become so easy for her and James to go over to Frank or Alice's or the other way around and have a nice meal while the two boys shared a cot and slept.

The next to arrive was actually James. He had been in work all day. Lily had expected him to be running late. He gave a sheepish look at Frank and she had the feeling something had happened. But they weren't going to mention it just then. At seven thirty right on time Sirius, Remus and Peter all arrived.

The dinner was dished out with wine and they all sat around the large table happily chatting and eating. As the meal was finishing Lily looked at James.

"What happened today?"

"You don't want to know."

"I asked didn't I?"

He shared a look with Frank before he spoke.

"There was a commotion in a flat just outside of London."

The way he pulled at his hair she knew somebody was dead. But she didn't get the implication of what was being said. It was Frank that seemed to be able to say what had to be said.

"It was your old flat. The one you shared with Lyn."

She hadn't thought about that flat in years. She had moved into it straight out of Hogwarts with her friend. There had been many good times there. But then also the sad. The worse being the night before her wedding. It had been the place where Larry had lost his life.

"What happened?"

James had his eyes on his plate. Frank gave a funny sigh before he spoke again.

"William Underwood lived there with his girlfriend Temperance Frank. We got word of something so we went over…"

He didn't go on as James made a funny noise. Lily looked around the table and saw they were as stunned as she was. But finally James looked up and she knew what had happened. He didn't need to tell her. But then he looked at the boys.

"It was exactly like four years ago. William was tied up, killed not a mark on his body. Temperance had cuts all up her legs, evidence that Cruciatus was used on her. The only difference was she was killed too. There was nobody there to pull her to safety."

Lily's elbows on the table she rested her head in her hands. It was coming full circle. It was a message she was sure of that. Voldemort was telling her that this time she wouldn't get away. A single tear fell down her cheek as she looked around.

"I suppose that makes what I'm about to tell you more relevant."

She looked at each of her friends in turn. She and James had discussed what they would say and what they wouldn't. They needed to tell them as much of the truth as it was possible to do. They knew that Alice and Frank would understand their reasoning better than Remus and Peter would. They had told Sirius he had to act as though this was the first he was hearing of it too. They wanted to make sure that it seemed news to everyone.

"James and I are leaving."

Stunned silence followed her words. Alice was the first to find her tongue.

"Where are you going?"

Lily gave a funny shrug.

"Technically nowhere."

They all looked confused. Lily shot James a look and he took over.

"We have reason to believe that Voldemort has targeted us for his next attack. We can't just sit here and let him kill us and Harry. So we've decided after long debates that it is time for us to go into hiding."

"WHAT?"

Sirius looked like he was really annoyed at not knowing before. Lily had to hide a small smile. She wondered if he would have been an actor in the muggle world. She had seen many instances where athletes had gone on to make movies and things. And with his acting talents maybe he could have been one of them.

"Sirius calm down!"

"James you're going into hiding. When?"

"Three days."

Sirius' mouth faltered and he sat with a thump. Lily smiled at them all gently.

"We felt we had to tell you."

"But if you're not going anywhere won't you be easy to find?"

Peter had his face screwed up as if in pain. Lily shook her head.

"There's a charm that Dumbledore has found. It means that the only person who will know where we are is the person who casts this charm, the secret keeper. No-one else will be able to find us. Even if they stood with their nose against our windows."

"But how will we be able to see you?"

James patted Peter's shoulder gently.

"You won't. Only the secret keeper can see us, and anyone that person chooses to tell."

"Well then tell us!"

"We can't mate."

Peter looked put out at this. But Remus simply put his glass down and looked at them.

"Are you going to tell us who your secret keeper is?"

Lily shook her head as James spoke.

"We can't. If anybody knows the identity of our secret keeper it puts them at risk. Voldemort is going to do anything to try and find us and he'll go through any of you."

Lily took Alice's hand.

"We have to do this to keep Harry safe. You all need to understand that. We can't risk losing Harry like we did Sammie. But we want you to be safe too. That's why we're telling you."

They all looked confused for a moment and then Frank spoke up.

"We'll all have to go into hiding. This is what Albus meant."

The others gave him a look and Peter opened his mouth to say something but Frank cut him off.

"Whoever the keeper is will want to keep a low profile. But Voldemort will assume we all know the identity of the keeper. So he'll come for all of us until he finds out who it is. Alice we need to go underground for Neville's sake."

Lily squeezed Alice's hand as James spoke up.

"Plus if we're gone he may change his focus onto Neville. Or worse if he finds us and kills Harry he'll probably then come after you too. After all he may believe it to be Harry but it's just as likely to be Neville too."

Everyone in the room feel silent. It was Remus that broke that silence.

"So do we get to see you again before you do this?"

Lily felt the tears in her eyes as James spoke up.

"I'm afraid this is goodbye until next we meet."

"Huh?"

They all looked at Peter and James sighed.

"That's how Albus put it to us. This isn't goodbye for good because one day we'll all be like this again. But this is goodbye until the next time."

The evening seemed to fly by after this. And before they wanted to they were each hugging goodbye to one another. Lily watched as Sirius closed the door after himself. James had tears down his face and she knew she did too. This was really going to happen.


	162. One Hundred Sixty Two

Chapter 162

With two days left Lily had finally gotten everything that she thought she needed. Her stomach was in sick knots that seemed to get tighter with each passing moment. She planned to spend the next day out all day with Harry. She wanted to take him to the park, to a zoo. She wanted to take him everywhere so that he could see things.

That meant of course that today was the day she had to face Bathilda. When the old lady came round she had found it very difficult. She had found that she had enjoyed the older woman's company throughout the months.

She was rather surprised by the ease at which the woman accepted the news. In fact telling her that she was surprised they hadn't gone underground before this point amazed her. She had hugged the woman goodbye as she then sat in the living room with Harry crawling all over the place.

When James came home they ate a quiet dinner together before curling up on the sofa listening to the radio. She wondered how it would be when they were confined in these rooms together all day everyday. They had always had their heated arguments and it would be worse in these small spaces. But they loved each other. Sure they would likely annoy each other but it was for the best.

A knock sounded through the house and Lily jumped. She had been on edge since the night before. Had the traitor sold them out? Then common sense kicked in. Voldemort and the Death Eaters wouldn't knock the door! Still she was unsure on who it could be. They weren't expecting anybody.

James walked back into the living room with his face scrunched. Sirius walked in behind him. From the look on the man's face it was clear he had been thinking something through. Lily wondered how much their plans were about to change now.

"I can't be your secret keeper."

"What? Sirius –"

"No James just listen. Remus and Peter have both said that I've got to be the secret keeper. And I've just realised that I'm the obvious choice."

"Which is why you said you'd go into hiding mate."

"Yes but if they can see that surely Voldemort will as well. I think that we need a decoy."

Lily looked from the two men. They were so alike and yet so different at the same time. Both were pacing the living room (in opposite directions). James had his hands in his pockets while Sirius' were on his head. Their voices were soft as not to wake Harry up and Lily knew that it was something both had been worrying about.

"Okay so who do we pick? Do I have to go to Hogwarts and ask Dumbledore after all?"

"No not Dumbledore. Peter!"

Sirius stopped his pacing and stared at James. Lily stood up straight away.

"No. James you and I agreed that Sirius isn't the traitor but we couldn't agree on Peter or Remus."

"Plus he doesn't know the spell Sirius."

"I'll help him. I can teach him what he needs to know. Come on Peter is the best option there is."

James looked at Lily and she knew he agreed.

"James –"

"Lily I think Peter is too weak to be the traitor. I think his biggest flaw is that he can't lie. He can't keep anything from us."

"Wormtail?"

"That's different."

"How he kept that from everyone?"

"No he didn't. We all know about that. Come on love this is the best idea that I've heard. I know there are reasons to suspect Peter but there are just as many to suspect Remus. And you and I know that no matter what you say Remus has more going against him than Peter."

Lily thought about that. It was true that Remus had managed to keep the fact he was a werewolf hidden from them for years. Whilst Peter hadn't kept anything hidden. It must has shown on her face what she was thinking because Sirius suddenly voiced his thoughts.

"And it would be the perfect double bluff. I mean Peter is the weakest of us all, and most think he's talentless. I've heard so many people comment on the fact that we associate with him. Nobody can understand that and I think Voldemort would be the same. He craves power and can't understand those that surround themselves with the weak. He'll never guess that Peter is the one that holds the secret."

Lily thought carefully.

"But Peter would be too scared. He'll cave under the pressure."

"So I hide him. I have a hiding place ready. Peter can use it. And then I'll check on him. I'll keep going back every couple of days and make sure he's fine. Come on Lily this is the best idea."

Lily looked up at James.

"What do you think?"

He licked his lips in a nervous manner.

"I say we do it. I agree with Sirius it's the best double bluff we're going to get."

Lily closed her eyes tightly.

"Let's do it then."

* * *

I know that Lily has doubts about Peter. I've created them in her mind. But she trusts James with her life and she trusts his instincts. The fact that both he and Sirius believe Peter is the best double bluff makes her wonder. She knows about his past but that is his past. He can't change that he was taken in by a Death Eater. But she also knows that Peter is flawed and that he thinks himself to be weak. That he feels the need to be around Sirius, James and Remus to make himself feel stronger. And she knows that he hasn't kept anything from all of them. She knows about Kayleigh, as do James and Sirius. They all know about Wormtail. When he did undercover work at least one of the boys knew what he was doing. So it makes sense to her that he wouldn't be able to keep a secret like that from them. That is why in the end she has relented to allow Peter to become secret keeper. No she doesn't think that Remus is the spy but at the same time she can't believe that it is Peter. She doesn't know who it could be anymore.

I wanted to say that now because I know someone will ask about it. As for the few people who were sure that I was going to keep them alive, I can't. I never planned this to be AU. I wanted to keep it as real as possible. There are flaws because of course this was started prior to Half-Blood Prince being released. But on the whole I've tried to keep it to cannon as much as I possibly could from the information that we have.

Umm... I don't know when the next update will be. It won't be over the weekend because I've got to go sort out holiday stuff. But next Friday my best friend is getting married. And there are some things that still need to be done (I've got to get my final dress fitting, sort out what time I need to be in hairdressers, what time to go to the venue, how we're getting to the venue first thing) and I'm also working non-stop. There will be a post next week, but when I can't say.

Kris xx


	163. One Hundred Sixty Three

Chapter 163

Chapter 163

Lily found it almost impossible to sleep that night. Her stomach was in knots as she tossed and turned. She couldn't help but wonder over the idea of what they had done. By choosing Peter they were saying that they didn't think him the spy, the traitor.

At breakfast she pondered that. She didn't really think that Peter was the traitor. But she didn't think Remus was either. So that left Sirius. But he couldn't be either. She kept coming back to the idea that it was wrong. But she knew that wasn't the case either.

Although the worry and tension grew Lily enjoyed a day out. She took Harry to the London Zoo first thing in the morning. She showed him the monkeys which he thought were brilliant judging by his sounds. They saw hippos, lions, tigers, bears, Meerkats, zebras, anteaters and some bearded pig (which Harry laughed at while pulling at his own chin). He also seemed to really like the penguins and the different tortoises. She was reluctant to look at the snakes because of what they symbolised to her.

After the long day in the zoo they ended up back in Godric's Hollow in the small park. Harry loved the swings and she found it so enjoyable. She imagined him older with a little brother or sister on these sings. They would jump off them and land gently on their feet like she had once done. Of course they would scare the small muggle children with their small magic tricks. But she would tell them off about those, maybe even James.

It was six thirty when she opened the front door. She could hear James and Sirius in the living room. She went upstairs and put Harry into bed. He was so tired after his day out that she didn't even bother giving him his bath. On re-entering the living room she found Peter there too. He looked a little startled being there. James noticed her and stood up giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Did you have a good day at the zoo?"

"Yes. Harry really likes pigs, either that or beards."

The man laughed as he dropped back into his seat. Peter looked around again before speaking up.

"Isn't Remus coming?"

"Not tonight. We need to speak to you."

Lily sat next to Sirius as James leaned forward patting Peter's back.

"We explained about us going into hiding to you. But we want to ask you something important."

"What?"

"We want you to be the secret keeper. Now it's a big deal Peter. It's complex magic but Sirius and I will help you like we did with the Animagus Transfiguration spell."

"I can't…"

Lily saw the panic in the mans face. James though slugged his arm playfully.

"Sure you can mate. You're better than you think really. And the spell won't be too bad on you. You'll just have the secret of this location locked up inside you. And only you will be able to say where this house is."

"But it'll be dangerous."

"No it won't. Nobody will know that you have the knowledge, unless you tell them. Plus it would mean my family will be safe. Because only you can tell people where we are. So nobody will be able to find us unless you tell them. And you're not about to sell us out to Voldemort."

He cringed at the name but still looked scared.

"But how will nobody know it's me?"

Sirius smiled at this.

"I've already told Remus in confidence today that I'm the secret keeper. It is suppose to be me. They already told Dumbledore that too. And let's face it. I'm the obvious choice. So Voldemort is going to think its me and you'll be safe."

"But what if he captures you."

"Then he captures me. I'll die before giving you and James up. You'll have nothing to worry about."

He looked really worried and Lily spoke softly.

"This is a big thing that we're asking Peter. You don't have to do it if you don't want to. We don't want to pressure you into doing it."

"But if it makes you feel better I have a hiding place already planned out. You can go to ground and I'll keep checking on you ever couple of days."

Lily watched the way Peter squirmed. She felt that the boys were putting pressure on him. But then he surprised her. He sat up straight and looked James straight in the eyes.

"If it means that you'll be safe I'll do it. You know I'd do anything for you guys."

Lily watched as they had a 'man hug'. She was beginning to feel better now. Tomorrow they would do the spell and they'd be safe. She didn't think the morning could come any sooner.


	164. One Hundred Sixty Four

Chapter 164

Peter pulled his cloak up high covering his head. He couldn't let anybody see him. He hated coming here so much. Maybe that was why he didn't usually come himself. Maybe that was why he had agreed to meet up with that scary woman Bellatrix Lestrange and pass information to her, or Lucius Malfoy.

He knew that it was a good technique so that any spies within the Dark Lords circle wouldn't realise he was a spy himself. It was something he had picked up from working within the Order. He had been the meet up for Raymond Walters. He had been mid-range in the Death Eater fold. It had allowed a lot of information to get passed on.

Of course he had never dreamt that he would be caught within the net. He was Peter Pettigrew. He was a nobody in the scale of things. A half-blood wizard with very little skill in all things magical. Yes he was an animagus but that was due to the help of his friends. But this made him realise something. It was the nobodies that made the war successful. All those people who went about and weren't noticed. That's how you won.

He often tried to remember how this had happened to him though. How had he become this person? He knew that he had weaknesses, the biggest being the need of protection. He had always in school felt protected. He had the best friends in the world. James, Sirius and Remus had stood beside him; they had made it clear to others that to mess with him was to mess with them.

Then they had left Hogwarts. They were still closer than close. But something happened. He realised now it was called growing up. They had chosen separate paths when it came to work. Remus was unable to hold down a job, while he was the minister's aid. James had become a successful and well respected Auror will Sirius was one of Britain's top Quidditch players.

He hadn't known it at the time but that was the start of his downward spiral. He was so use to having them around him at all times that he hadn't realised how exposed he felt when on his own. Then James had gone and gotten married, Remus engaged, and Sirius well … Sirius was with any girl he could find. Peter couldn't compete. So when a girl showed interest of course he went for it.

Of course it was just his luck that the girl was not only gorgeous but a Death Eater. But he had fallen in love with Kayleigh. Maybe it had been a potion slipped to him or maybe it was just infatuation. But he couldn't get enough of her. He quickly found he would do anything to please her. And that had led him here. The nine months he had been with her had been worth this, or at least he had thought.

Then six months ago she had been killed. Ripped away from him. Then all reasons for him being here slipped away. Except he had already taken the mark by that point. He had already fed so much information to the other side. He was in too deep. But finally he had protection again. The Dark Lord rewarded him. He was the only person he had in the inner circle of Dumbledore's Order. He was the one with the information.

Deep down Peter knew that it was a weak move to pass on the information. After everything he had said and done he was turning his back on his friends. And maybe worse he was setting Sirius up for the fall. But then again it wouldn't matter. He would be rewarded beyond all when this came about.

He knew that what would happen would be the death of a small child and two of his closest friends. But rather them than him. If he could he would save his friends. But they would kill him for giving Harry to the Dark Lord.

Maybe it would have been better if he had gone to them at the start. If he had told them what he had done. But Kayleigh convinced him that they wouldn't understand. And she had probably been right. But he could have been a spy for Dumbledore, for the Order. He could have done the right thing. But then the right thing was so hard. Sometimes it was just easier to do the wrong thing and live with the guilt.

Guilt. That was something he was use to by now. He had had so many Order members killed over the last year. He had fed lies to Dumbledore from his contacts. And he had even sold a number of contacts out to the Dark Lord. Not only those who were his.

Did he feel bad about this though? Truthfully no. Better them than him. He knew he was a pathetic excuse for a human being. He didn't believe any of this mudblood rubbish. They hadn't stolen their powers from others. But he knew that the Dark Lord was winning this war. And he was determined that he would end up on the winning side.

Maybe that was the reason he hadn't gone to them about his position. He wanted to be on the fence so that he could jump onto the winning side. He'd heard the words of the prophecy. He knew that with Harry dead the Dark Lord would win. So it was time to reveal his cards.

He walked through into the barn without any problems. The Dark Lord was sat in his chair. A large snake at his feet. Peter gulped. He hated snakes. Maybe it was because of Wormtail. He never really knew the answer to that question.

"Pettigrew. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"The Potters are going into hiding tomorrow my Lord."

"They will not be able to run far."

"They are using the Fidelius Charm."

The roar was almighty. Peter wanted to drop to the floor but fought against that thought.

"We must attack now then. I will call my Death Eaters. After tomorrow it will be too late."

"But my Lord it won't be."

"You are a fool Pettigrew. You do not understand the Fidelius Charm if you believe it won't be too late."

The roar of his master's voice sent Peter to his knees this time. He could feel the anger flow through the room. The Dark Lord truly wanted the Potters dead. This was going to be his best moment ever. Before the Dark Lord could touch his arm to call the others to him he spoke up.

"I know who they plan to have as their secret keeper."

All movement ceased as Peter looked down at his bent knees. The voice sounded very close to his ear.

"And who would that be?"

"They have chosen somebody they feel you will never expect them to pick."

"The werewolf!"

"No my Lord."

Peter looked up into the red eyes feeling a smile come to his face.

"Me."

The lips of his master parted to show sharp teeth. Peter continued to smile as the Dark Lord straightened up.

"Their biggest mistake will bring me the greatest joy of all. The defeat of an enemy. Come we will make our plans."

Peter stood up and walked towards the fireplace. Never had he ever felt such great an honour as he did in that moment.

* * *

I think I like twisted Peter! He seems such a better character now, not so one dimensional! Lol.

Anyway there won't be anymore post this week. I have a wedding on Friday and I've got lots to do tomorrow to get ready for it. This story **WILL **finish next week though. It's only 10 days until I go away. So the last few chapters will be up by next Sunday.

Kris xx


	165. One Hundred Sixty Five

Chapter 165

The twenty-third of October seemed to Lily like the longest day in existence. They had spoken to Peter the day before and it had been decided that the charm would be performed in the evening. That way Lily had the chance to make sure that everything was prepared. Plus it gave Peter and Sirius more time to work over the spell.

The day seemed to fly by faster than Lily had ever expected it too. Just before dinner she went over to Alice's home to say goodbye one last time. It felt only right that Harry and Neville should get a few more hours together. Who knew how long it would be before they got to be in each others company again.

When it was time to leave Lily was crying as was Alice. They both knew that this wasn't goodbye and yet it felt that way. It was the fact that it would be an unclassified amount of time until they were in each others company. Lily knew that Alice and Frank were preparing in quite the same manner to go into hiding. The idea was that they would wait a week before setting up their own Fidelius Charm. Lily didn't ask who would be their secret keeper and Alice didn't ask about hers. They were both smart enough to know they were safer in the dark on this occasion.

Lily made it home at around four o'clock. A surprise lay in store for her though.

"Remus?"

The man stood up from the kitchen table. She could see he was overcome with emotions. Harry was crawling on the floor as she took the man into her arms and hugged him tightly.

"I know I'm not suppose to be here but I had to come."

"I'm glad you did."

"I know Sirius is your secret keeper. I know that means you'll be safe."

She leaned up and kissed his cheek. He gave a soft smile as he picked up a glass of something that looked like fire whisky.

"Remus its only four!"

"I thought we could have one for old times sake."

She laughed taking the glass.

"I remember the last time you and I drunk this stuff alone."

He wiggled an eyebrow at her before he spoke.

"As I recall you weren't drinking them with me. And if you're going to blame anyone Sirius was the one that announced you were single and wanted a drink."

"Yes but you were the one that kissed me!"

Remus nodded slowly as they both remembered the game between Puddlemere and the Harpies five years earlier. It was the night that Sirius found out that Lily hadn't dated since James, and it was two weeks before she started dating Larry. Sirius had made a big show of it and his three male team mates had come running.

If she remembered correctly, Kyle Long who had been a chaser had spent the night telling her he wanted fun before touching her leg. Then there had been John Jones who had happily joked about how bad another team was doing only for his fiancé, and player of said team to walk in. Then lastly there had been Todd Pipes who had spent the evening talking to her chest. Remus had come over to step in and when Todd didn't take the hint Remus had kissed her.

"Yes but you did kiss me back."

Lily downed the shot placing it on the table. That was true. She had kissed him back. Remus poured her another drink as he looked at her.

"That was a really fun night mind. I don't think I had laughed so much in a very long time. And yes we had too much to drink. But we were both very young. Now we both know when enough is enough. Plus somehow I don't think you're going to invite me upstairs no matter how drunk I get you."

It was said in a joking manner and Lily took it that way. She and Remus happily sat there throughout the afternoon chatting about the good old days. It was so relaxing that Lily felt at ease. She almost forgot that this was the last time she was likely to see Remus for months.

They were both startled at six when James came home from work. He took one look of them and put bread in a toaster for Harry. He didn't say anything as Harry ate his food. By the time Harry had finished his food Sirius and Peter were stood in the kitchen. Lily watched silently as James made Harry hug the three men and give them kisses.

When James left the room Sirius and Peter each picked up a glass and they were filled once more to the brim. A fifth glass sat waiting for James. It wasn't long until the five of them were sat in the kitchen. They looked around and James spoke softly.

"So what are you two drinking too?"

Remus gave a soft smile.

"The past. To all the good times we've had together along the way."

The five raised their glasses together. As they downed them Lily looked at Sirius.

"Do you remember the night you bedded Lyn?"

He chocked for a moment turning red. The boys were all looking at him closely.

"Yeah … she was good. Why?"

"Remus and I were talking earlier about how you got your team mates to buy me all those drinks and I ended up wasted."

Sirius laughed at this.

"Oh yeah and you and Remus got all jiggy. Brilliant times."

They laughed as Lily poured another glass. The rate they were going they'd all end up drunk. But then as long as Peter was sober that was all that really mattered. James spoke up in a soft calm voice.

"Remember the first day ever in Hogwarts."

They all became silent. The first day seemed so long ago. They had been so small. And yet the boys at least had all been friends since then. Lily had been friendly with them in the beginning but it wasn't until her fifth year that she became friends with Remus and it was seventh year before she was friends with the rest.

"We've come a long way together haven't we?"

Sirius sounded wishful as he slumped over his drink. They all looked at each other. Peter was the one to speak next though.

"And this is goodbye. This is the last time we'll ever get to do this."

"Don't be soft Pete. This is the last time for now. But this war it won't go on forever. And then we'll all be back together at a table with a bottle of fire whisky."

James sounded so sure. But Lily looked around. Maybe this was goodbye. They were going into hiding because one of them was a spy. Whoever it was they were a good actor. She began to wish that the time would go backwards and it could be her first day in Hogwarts again.

Maybe she would do it different this time. She'd become friends with the boys from the start, and Lyn. The other girls could sod right off. She would enjoy every moment. She would have laughed, danced, sung. She would have pulled pranks with them. Taken detentions without a worry. Would she have met Larry? She would like to think she would, because she would want Sammie all over again.

She knew that she would hug Eddie tightly and tell him how much she loved him. She would tell Lyn that she was the best friend anybody could ever ask for. She would joke and drink with Gideon and Fabian. But really she knew that if she could go back, she'd just live. She'd do what she had done, she'd enjoy the life that she was given.

Sandwiches somehow appeared and they ate them happily. The conversation was light and filled with a happy tint. But then all too soon it was ten o'clock. Lily felt the tears on her cheeks as they all stood. It was time to say goodbye.

Peter was the first to step forward. Lily watched as he hugged James. She couldn't hear the words that were being passed. But mainly because this wasn't their goodbye. Then he was hugging her. His mouth came to her ear.

"I'll go out the front and walk round the back. When Remus is gone I'll come back in."

She nodded kissing his lips gently in a friendly way. Then with a final tight hug he looked at them and walked out the front door. It was now Lily felt the goodbyes would start.

Remus stepped up to James and they embraced. It was a tight embrace of true friends saying goodbye. Unsure of when they would meet again. It was lucky this was their home because she had the feeling that the boys would have put more of a show on if there were people looking.

Then she felt Remus' arms around her. She took in his scent as she clung to him. The tears were flowing and she was trying not to sob.

"Shh come on Lily. This is only see you later."

The emotion was high in his voice too. She hugged him tighter as she spoke so only he could hear.

"You take care of yourself Remus. And don't let them get you down. You're better than they believe. You're Remus Lupin; you're a Marauder and a good decent man. Never, ever forget that."

She moved back and kissed him. It was short and sweet. But it spoke depths of their relationship. His arms squeezed her again. And he spoke.

"I love you Lily. You're one of the best friends I've ever had."

"And you're one of mine too Remus. I'll love you forever, no matter what."

They hugged one more time. Then Remus looking a little lost nodded goodbye as he stepped outside the door. They knew he wouldn't wait for them. He thought Sirius was the secret keeper. He had to leave before him.

Sirius who had been watching stepped up to Lily now and hugged her close.

"You take care of James and Harry Lily. Don't let them go crazy being locked up in this house all day."

"And you take care of yourself Sirius. No getting yourself killed trying to play the hero."

They were looking into each others eyes. Lily leaned up and took Sirius' lips with hers. Then stepping backwards she squeezed his hand tightly.

"I love you Sirius Black, don't forget it."

"I love you too, Evans."

He winked and she laughed through the tears. Releasing his hand she watched as he went over to James. They embraced as only brothers could. She didn't listen to their words and turned away to give them the privacy that they deserved. Finally she heard Sirius' voice.

"I'll be seeing you all really soon."

He waved as the sound of the door locking resounded through the house. Lily couldn't move as James went and opened the back door. Peter stepped inside. She sat on the sofa while the two men stood in the kitchen. She didn't listen as Peter cast the spell. She didn't go in there to test if it had worked. She knew that James was doing the testing.

It was an hour before Peter came into the living room. Lily's tears had subsided and she stood up to hug him.

"Thank you Peter."

"You're welcome Lily."

"Seriously I doubt I'll ever be able to repay you for this. Because of you my family is safe."

"Lily –"

"I love you Peter. No matter what people say you are a fantastic wizard. And there have been times when you made mistakes, but we're all human."

"I love you too Lily."

She kissed him again.

"You keep safe out there alright. Keep your head down and there'll be no reason for Voldemort to come after you."

He nodded letting her go. She watched him and James embrace again and then Peter was gone. As the door was locked she looked at James and smiled. They were all finally safe. Things were going to be okay.

* * *

Alright everyone. I've never written this part of a Lily/James fic before. I don't know if they said goodbye to each other on the night they went into hiding. But I like to think that they did. I like to think that they had one more night together before it ended.

Speaking of ending this story is almost over. So I hope you like it. And fingers crossed this is going to work out.

Kris xx


	166. One Hundred Sixty Six

Chapter 166

"Have you seen my wand?"

Lily laid her head back on the side of the tub. The warm water with the bubbles was soothing her. She had always enjoyed bubble baths but she felt like she needed it much more today than she had in a long time.

When they have gone into hiding five days earlier (had it really only been five days?) she had felt like things were going the way they should. Lily hadn't considered the fact that she had never spent more than forty eight hours alone with James. She wasn't use to it.

It wasn't that she and James weren't getting along. They loved each other and the extra time together was a blessing. She loved the fact that he was just hers and Harry's for the considerable future. No running out because an attack had taken place somewhere. No worrying about being late for work and Moody yelling. No it had seemed like a fantastic idea.

Of course it had never dawned on Lily that James would be at such a lost. It wasn't not working; it was something far more terrible. It was five days without the boys. Lily hadn't realised before how much time they still spent together. One of the boys was over at least once a day. They all spoke at least once every two days if not everyday. This was the first time since their Hogwarts days that they weren't able to see each other constantly.

James had been rather down at the beginning because of this. He missed Sirius, Lily understood that. She had felt the same way when Lyn had died and when Eddie had gone too. It was something that not many people really considered early on in life, but something they were forced to deal with. How to cope without your friends.

But James surprised Lily a little. He began to get use to the idea. There were moments when she could tell there was something he had thought to tell Sirius. She would smile as he wrote something down. She wondered if maybe he would send the boys a letter filled with all his thoughts. But there was no sign of him sending his words. In fact the sheets were filling rapidly. She liked to imagine the look on their faces when they came out of hiding and were given sheets from James.

The loss of friends was just one problem. James wasn't use to being stuck indoors. And they truly were. They couldn't venture outside, not even to the garden. James would sit by the window and peer outside. She felt like the mother of a naughty boy who had been grounded.

"Lily?"

"I'm in the bath James."

"Yes I can see that. But where's my wand."

"I'm not a seer! Have you looked in the living room?"

"Yes Lily."

He made a mocking face. Lily though closed her eyes as she sunk down further into the water.

"The kitchen?"

"Yes."

"Harry's room?"

"Why would it be in Harry's room?"

"You were making bubbles for him."

Even with her eyes closed she could see him open and close his mouth before turning and looking. The sound of him opening the door as silently as he could echoed through the house. Then the door closed again and she could feel his eyes on her.

"Found it."

"Good."

The door clicked shut and she opened her eyes. She loved James so much but he was starting to grate slightly on her. Without Sirius there she was his focus. His jokes, his small pranks she was subjected to them all. She had known that there would be a difference for them in hiding but she had thought he would have settled within a day or two at the most.

But she had to admit that he was doing really well with Harry. The small boy was use to being outdoors. They'd sit in the garden, go to the park. Maybe there would be a bit of shopping. Then there were always people in the house. Bathilda, one of the boys, Alice with Neville. But suddenly she and James were the only form of entertainment. And James was doing a good job.

That was more difficult than Lily had expected. She had started to realise slowly that hiding wasn't as easy as it sounded. Having no other company was hard enough at times. But they were resourceful. They played games with Harry, the played chess and card games. Gobstones had become some source of entertainment. Then Harry's small broom was good for James to 'fly' around remembering his good old days playing Chaser for Gryffindor.

What Lily was finding really difficult though was the lack of news. She hadn't really thought about that. The only thing they had was the radio and both were smart enough to know that they were being pulled not to report the worse stories. They had heard of attacks up and down the country, the deaths of several people (including Robert Donaldson – a play writer and Order member) but no news of their friends.

Lily had started to wonder about the spy. Had they been found out yet? Had Albus worked out the identity and was he using him in return? Had the spy spilled the beans about why he had changed sides?

Then there were other questions. Was Severus still safe? Had Remus had a bad transformation this month? Was Sirius finding hiding to be a game as he had thought? Was Peter coping hiding out himself? Was Alice missing Lily as much as she was her?

It killed her not to know the news of the Order members. She hated not knowing about the worse of the attacks. She knew that there had been some terrible ones before but her brain was working overdrive thinking of things that could be worse.

With a sigh Lily sunk deeper into the water. There was something else playing on her mind. Were they as safe as they thought? Peter was a good choice for secret keeper right? She felt safe. But she knew that maybe they were feeling safer than they really were. Peter could be captured by Death Eaters and tortured into giving their position away. And yet there they were walking around without their wands!

She shook her head as she closed her eyes again. Maybe she was over-reacting. After her bath then she'd start worrying. For now as long as the water was hot she was fine.

* * *

Okay I know that nothing really major happens in this chapter, and some people might say I'm dragging it out but there's a reason for that. I wanted to show their life in hiding, how it feels safe to them. But how they are bored. They're not use to being coped up all the time. Plus I wanted to add the no wand thing. Anyway. Two chapters left.

And I've changed my plan for when I'll be posting. I don't think I will have time on Sunday morning so I will post on Saturday night (British time). So until Saturday enjoy!

Kris xx


	167. One Hundred Sixty Seven

Chapter 167

The late October wind blew a cold into the bones of all those willing to be out. The only upside was that the rain that had been lashing the country for two days had finally given way. A crisp blue sky stood overhead giving an elusion of a lovely day. It was clear that all the little children knocking on doors that night would feel the cold.

Peter walked up the country lane pulling his cloak tighter around himself. He had spent the last few days holed up in a 'safe' hideaway that Sirius had found for him. He hadn't felt at all safe there. He had felt exposed in a way that was new to him.

He knew that his friend had thought through all possible hiding places for him. It was a smart choice really. A little cottage in the middle of no-where. It was nothing like the place anyone would expect of him. He supposed it had been comfortable and he hadn't worried about Death Eaters attacking him. Although he was aware that they knew where he was.

He knew that the Dark Lord had expected him the morning following the Fidelius charm. But for some reason Peter had found himself unable to go to his master. He knew that he would have to, but suddenly the thing seemed real to him.

He had been a spy for nearly two years. He had passed on so much information but it had never affected him before. This time it was going to affect him. This time it was real. Maybe it was the fact that this time it was personal. This was James he was giving up.

Swallowing a lump he had been unaware of he walked towards the barn. He'd really thought this one through. For seven days he'd stayed low. He had weighed everything up. Could he really give James to this monster? By doing this he would ruin his friendship. He would also expose himself for who he truly was. There would be no turning back from this point.

If it worked he would stand tall at the side of his master. He would be rewarded. Sirius would feel he was to blame for suggesting a change. If it went wrong and James or Lily got away he would be left low. Everyone would know he was a two faced cheat and he would be punished by his master. He couldn't see a way he could get away without anyone finding out the truth.

The barn was getting closer but his steps were getting slower. He knew that part of him hoped that James got through this. He was a good fighter. He had escaped three times before, why not a fourth? Harry may die but he was only a small boy. He hadn't lived, he didn't understand. He could not miss what he didn't understand. Lily. Well she could go either way; Peter didn't really care as long as James made it.

But if James did make it he would know that Peter wasn't his friend. That was a lie though. Peter felt that James was one of his best friends ever. He knew that nobody would be a better friend. But there came a point where you had to make a choice, and Peter had.

"Pettigrew! What a surprise."

"I need to see the Dark Lord."

Lucius Malfoy pushed open the door. He stepped inside but Peter didn't move. Lucius though came back out in seconds.

"What are you waiting for?"

Entering the room Peter found he was met with a surprise.

"If it isn't our most useful spy."

There was a hint of malice in the voice. Peter though walked into the room before dropping into a bow. He edged towards the Dark Lord and kissed the hem of his robes. As he crawled backwards he stood up. He was surprised to find that a circle had formed around him.

Peter didn't need to look around to know who they were. They were the inner circle. Fourteen Death Eaters that the Dark Lord considered his true family. With a gulp Peter realised that there was one missing, and he was in that persons place.

"Do you have the information Pettigrew?"

"Yes my Lord."

"Well then. Today is a grand day. Today Peter Pettigrew joins my inner circle. Look around you Peter. These men and woman are my closest followers. They are the ones that have advanced my cause. You are about to do the same."

He tried to think of who would be there. Avery, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, Rabastan and Rodolphus Lestrange, Karkaroff, Macnair, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Crouch Jr, Evan Rosier, Wilkes and Jenkins. He realised in that moment that Snape was the one missing. But it was Halloween the man would be in Hogwarts. He was a professor after all. Peter didn't know if he felt better for that. Snape had always loved Lily, maybe he would kill Peter for what he was about to do, even if he was a Death Eater.

Peter suddenly felt his body shake. He was a Death Eater, more than that he was one of the inner circle. He was in a position that most of the Dark Lords followers would give their right hand to be in. He was accepted by the Dark Lord. He knew what it was like to be accepted by the Order but this felt different, powerful.

He walked towards the Dark Lord and spoke softly so that only he could hear him.

"They are in the Potter Cottage, Godrics Hollow. It is the very last cottage in the town."

A smile came to the man's features and he laughed a cruel laugh.

"Peter has delivered me the Potters. Tonight after it is dark I will go to them and rid the world of the last of the Potters."

* * *

Okay I just want to point something out here quickly. I know I'm starting to ramble now. But I want to point to something that Sirius says in POA. When talking about why Peter would remain hidden for so long he says …

"_You haven't been hiding from me for twelve years you've been hiding from Voldemort's old supporters. I heard things in Azkaban, Peter … they all think you're dead, or you'd have to answer to them … I've heard them screaming all sorts of things in their sleep. Sounds like they think the double-crosser double-crossed them." _

So that leads to the impression that the Death Eaters were in on the attack of the Potters, that they knew that Peter had sold them out. That's why I've got his inner circle there. However since Snape was working both sides and had begged for Voldemort to spare Lily I left him out, maybe because if he had known maybe things would have been different. Maybe he would have warned Dumbledore who would have somehow gotten a note to the Potters. I'm sure that mail could still get to them. And even if he couldn't have saved the Potters I'm sure that he would have stopped Sirius going to Azkaban.

But anyway that's my explanation for why Snape isn't there.

Kris xx


	168. One Hundred Sixty Eight

Chapter 168

The day had been dry with a strong wind. But as the autumn sun began to make its decent black clouds appeared. Lily stood by the back door watching as the rain swept across the garden. The howl of the wind sending shivers down her spine.

It was barely eight o'clock and it felt much later. Maybe it was because of the lack of life that now lingered in their home. She was so use to people that it felt wrong. Especially on Halloween. They'd celebrated Halloween for as long as she could remember.

As a small girl she had dressed up as fairies, witches, zombies, even a vampire or two in her time. It had always been fun and carefree. She and Petunia would walk up and down the street in which they had lived and a few passed and collect a little bit of money. Then they would share it out and the next day go and by sweets.

Then as a Hogwarts student it had meant a big feast filled with so much junk food it would make your stomach burst. Afterwards there would normally be some kind of party in the common room. She had never stayed all night but she knew that a number of students wouldn't go to bed on Halloween.

Then in her years after Hogwarts it marked parties. She couldn't remember how many times she had turned up at a random party on Halloween. She and Lyn had made it their trademark in the beginning. They would dress up and just go somewhere and join in the fun. Nobody had cared. Lyn after all had been a Quidditch star.

But things had changed. After meeting Larry they would throw the Halloween parties. Then with James it had been the same. She remembered the Halloween two years prior. She had dressed up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, most of them hadn't understood it. James she remembered was dressed as Sirius, while the Quidditch player had chosen to be Zombie and Peter was Stubby Boardman.

It had been a rather entertaining night with all their friends, well most of them. Remus had been missing at the time. But then he had turned up, he had returned home. Lily loved thinking about that night. The night her family had come back together.

There was another reason why she liked to remember that Halloween, and why Halloween was one of the best dates on her calendar. It had been the night she had conceived Harry. She had to admit that James in those Quidditch robes was damn sexy. Maybe that was why he still had them in their wardrobe. She liked it when he dressed in them for her.

She felt a blush just thinking about that. Shaking her head a little she tried to clear that thought out of her mind as she placed the last of the apples back into the bowl. Dunking apples with a one year old was certainly a bad idea. He had preferred to dunk her head into the water while splashing James. It was a good thing that he had his wand to clean up.

Lily gave a little sigh. She really needed to look for her wand. She had a feeling that it was in the draw next to her bed. She had been reading in bed the night before. James had been asleep so she hadn't wanted to light a candle. So she had used her wand. She was positive she had put it aside with the book. But she hadn't used it that day; really she felt there was no need. But still. There was no point being reckless.

A gurgling laughter caught her attention. James was suppose to be putting Harry to bed. Leaving the kitchen she walked into the living room. The curtains as was now usual were open so that they could look out into the world. It felt like their only connection, the only reminder that there was something outside. Her eyes didn't linger on the window though. They were drawn to James. He had Harry in his favourite blue pyjamas next to him on the sofa. But instead of readying him for bed he was producing coloured wisps of smoke. Harry was laughing and trying to catch them in his fists.

"If this is your idea of putting him to bed maybe I should do it."

Lily pushed her hair back off her face in time to see James scoop Harry up to more laughter. She took the small boy from her husband as he dropped his wand onto the seat and stretched yawning.

"You know I think I'll be ready for bed soon too."

"Not too soon I hope."

James looked up at her and she gave him a glance from the corner of her eye as she made to walk towards the stairs.

"That better be a promise now Lily."

"Do you still have the Quidditch robes?"

He gave a whistle and she laughed.

"God I love you Lily."

"Love you too James."

Lily was almost at the top of the stairs. She barely held in a burst of laughter. James was so easy. An explosion tore through her thoughts as she fell forward. She managed to secure Harry as she stood quickly. She turned slightly and saw James run out of the living room.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off –"

"Avada Kedavra."

A green flash illuminated the downstairs. Lily couldn't stop the scream that slipped from her mouth. Her mind was screaming not again. No this couldn't be happening a second time. He'd already taken Larry from her, he couldn't take James too.

Tears were running down her face. If she'd been thinking she would have ran to her room and her wand. She would be able to apparate away to safety. But logic had left her. Grief was taking over. She was alone. All she had left now was the small boy in her arms. Panicking she ran into her son's room.

She looked around the room. Damn she didn't have her wand! Instead she grabbed the chair and dragged it in front of the door. She piled toys and boxes on top. It wasn't going to stop him for long. But maybe it would stop him long enough for her to do something.

Lily stood next to the cot holding Harry close to her chest. Her heartbeat had increased. She felt sick. Her hand sat on Harry's head and she kissed his hair gently. He was all she had left of James now. There was no way she'd let anything happen to him ever.

The door opened and Lily quickly dropped Harry into his cot. She spread her arms wide to block him as she stood in front of the monster who had ruined her life so many times over.

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Stand aside, you sill girl … stand aside, now …"

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead –"

She didn't care anymore. She didn't care that she was willing to give up her life in this instant. She had lost so much already. She had lost so many friends, her family. There was no way she would be able to go on if she lost Harry as well. So if it meant her death so be it. She would die over him any day. She would do anything to save her son.

"This is my last warning –"

"Not Harry! Please … have mercy … have mercy … Not Harry! Not Harry! Please – I'll do anything –"

"Stand aside – stand aside, girl –"

Lily wouldn't move. There was no way she would stand aside and let him have her son. If he wanted Harry he'd have to go over her dead body.

"Avada Kedavra!"

As the green spell hit Lily she jerked backwards. All thoughts vanished from her mind as she dropped to the floor in front of the cot and her small son.


	169. Epilogue

Epilogue

The winter sun stroked the morning sky as the dawn of a new day arrived. Many believed that a new era had now begun; others were smart enough to know the danger still lurked. Parties had been going on for two weeks, but slowly the wizarding world was starting to get back on track.

So much had happened in the two weeks since Halloween that it seemed as if it had been a decade. While most had expected nothing but good things it had been littered with tragedies that people were trying to ignore. One man couldn't ignore them though.

Albus sat at the Headmasters desk in his office looking at the portraits of all the wizards and witches that had held this position before him. He had learnt to hope for the best but expect the worse. His life had been littered with loss and regret. But it had seemed to double in such a short amount of time.

Halloween had been the catalyst for so much. The Potters were dead. Lily and James were gone. They were both so young, with their lives ahead of them. Albus felt that their deaths were as needless as all the others that had gone before them.

Bathilda Bagshot had sounded the alarms. The witch had heard an explosion and gone up to the house. That had been the first sign that the spell had ended, the house was visible. There had been a huge hole on the second storey. The Aurors had been called in. Moody had called Albus there.

He hadn't been able to go though. Instead he had sent Hagrid to collect Harry. Yes Harry, he had lived. That had been the first shock of the night for Albus. After speaking to Moody and Frank (who had both been first on the scene) he had learnt somewhat what had happened.

James was found in the hallway. The door had been blown in. His wand was on the sofa. He had been the first victim. Lily's body had been found in the rubble that had once been Harry's room. She had been in the room with the boy. Her wand had later been found in her bedroom. Harry was fine with the exception of a scar in the shape of a lightening bolt on his forehead.

Albus couldn't be a hundred percent sure but he had an idea. The power that Harry had that Voldemort had not known. The love of a mother. Lily had stood in front of her son and had died. A sacrificing spell. Something so powerful. A protection that ran through Harry, and by proxy through the only other living relative of Lily Evans, her sister Petunia.

Albus even when grieving was quick witted. He knew that the Death Eaters were still out there. So he had sent for Harry to be taken to a place where the protection would still work. Lily had already asked him to contact Petunia should anything happen. She would have to look after the boy; she was all he had now.

But while that was happening Albus' mind was still working. He had known so much would need to be done. He had known that Voldemort was gone, for good he didn't believe. There had been no body. But that hadn't been his first thought. No his first thought was for the wizard sleeping in a room some floors below his.

It was nearing midnight when Albus had gotten the news. He had sent for Hagrid first and given him the orders. The next thing he had done was send for the potion master. For Severus Snape. Albus had promised the man something, and he had failed him.

Severus had joined him on the assurance that he would keep Lily safe. He had tried, but had failed, while Severus had only ever succeeded. He knew that the memory of that conversation would stay with him forever. The man had cried, he had barely drawn breath at one point.

Albus had hoped to comfort him with the knowledge that the boy had survived. But that seemed to grate on him somehow. Lily the woman he loved was dead but her son, her link to James a man he loathed still lived on.

Albus thinking back knew he had been hard on the man. He was grieving for a woman he had lost so many times, but now for good. But he had gotten the man to agree to help him protect the boy. They had both understood the implications of that night, maybe they were the only ones. They knew that Voldemort wasn't gone for good.

Albus really ought to have gone to Godric's Hollow then. But he found it difficult enough going there. He hated walking passed that one house. He hated the memories that it brought to his own mind. So to simply put it off for a while longer he had gone to another house. The lights were off but he was sure that someone was at home.

He knocked and watched as the door opened. Remus Lupin had stood in the hallway. It was clear he had no idea of the news. Albus felt his stomach sink as he sat at a table in the kitchen and told the young man what had happened. Telling him of the deaths and of the implications of them.

Albus had stayed there all night. Then in the morning he had gone to the ministry with the information of the traitor. He hadn't slept and doubted that he would. He spent several hours talking to the minister and other officials. And then the news that he had dreaded.

The Aurors had Black in custody. He had murdered thirteen muggles and Peter Pettigrew. It seemed that Peter had worked out the identity of the secret keeper and following the murders he had decided to hunt Black down. They had only been able to find his finger. But Black was to be locked up.

Albus spent the afternoon giving evidence against Black. By the time the sun set he was being taken for a life in Azkaban. Albus then found himself visiting each of the Order members in turn. He returned to Remus with the news of the arrest of one friend and the death of the other. He didn't know what to say to the young man. He was thankful that Alice Longbottom had been there to sooth him.

After a number of parties and when it was late Albus made his way to a muggle street in Surrey. By now it was the 1st November, and over twenty four hours since the attack. All the lights were put out and he walked to a house marked with the number four. He hadn't been surprised when Minerva McGonagall showed herself. Their conversation had been sorrowful as he had told her the rumours were in deed true. But then the moment he had been waiting for arrived.

Hagrid was on Sirius Black's motorbike. Albus had felt rage in that moment. Black had been at the house. He had probably been watching as his master met his doom. But that was just one thing to think about. Albus had taken the small boy and laid him at the front door. He slept peacefully as though he had never witnessed murder.

A small letter sat with him. He had written it himself. In it he hadn't lied, he had told the entire truth in easy terms. He had explained that Lily and James had put their faith in the wrong person. That they were dead at the hands of Voldemort. But that Harry lived, that there was a protection to keep him safe. He had added that Lily had asked him to inform her sister if anything had happened and that she was now the guardian of the small boy.

Then the three had gone their separate ways. Albus finally found sleep. He had thought that the worse was over with. The boy was safe, the world knew and Black was arrested. But it wasn't.

Three days later Albus was once more in Godric's Hollow. He sat at the back of the church as the service was held. He watched the two coffins go into the ground. It was time to say goodbye. He stopped and looked at another grave not far off as he left.

Then the ministry awarded Peter the Order of Merlin. Albus had been the one to give it to his mother as she had cried. The funeral for him had been a different affair to the one for the Potters. It was well turned out, and the coffin was man sized. But most knew that only a finger resided in it.

Finally though things were starting to get better. A week had passed and Death Eaters were being rounded up. People were happy once more and feeling safe. That was the big mistake. Albus could see that now. It was then that the Lestrange family, and one Barty Crouch Junior struck.

Albus remembered the owl he had gotten from Alastor. He had locked himself in his office and refused to see anyone for two hours. How could this have happened was what had been going through his mind.

Frank and Alice Longbottom, it was being reported by the Prophet, were victims of a Death Eater attack. It was vicious that much was sure. Albus was one of a few people who knew the absolute truth. The four Death Eaters had captured the pair and subjected them to the Cruciatus Curse. They were sure that the pair knew the location of Voldemort. But they over did the spell and the two were insane. They would never remember who they were again. And once more there was a little boy left without parents.

It had now been a week since that Longbottom attack, and two since the Potter one. Albus picked up a photo that had been taken nearly four years earlier. So many smiling faces and so few of them left. His Order, his brave soldiers. The people who had given their lives in the fight for freedom. They were only the first though. Albus knew that the war wasn't over. He didn't know when but he knew that Voldemort would one day return. These brave people had been the first, but they wouldn't be the last to die standing up to Voldemort.

Placing the photo on his desk he noticed a tear drop land on it. He hadn't cried over the last two weeks. He knew that the deaths had been for the greater good. This was war and people would be hurt. But to think that four years ago they had all been happier hit hard. His eyes went up to the portraits around him and he spoke in a clear and strong voice.

"We shall have to make more plans now. It isn't over yet. Voldemort will return. And this time we will be ready for him…"

* * *

Okay so this story was first published on 17th October 2005, and I started writing this in the July. Today is the 25th May 2008 and I have now finished it. It's been nearly 3 years and it's changed so much along the way. It originally was going to be a Quidditch fic about Lily and James meeting up again after a number of years. Then Larry got involved and it morphed into an idea of James being an understanding guy who helped Lily through the death of her fiancé. Then Sammie turned up so it was going to go up until her birth. Then they got married, then Harry was born and well it just grew and grew into this.

It's actually the first Lily and James fic that I've finished (I've been working on the other one since 2003) and it feels so strange. I've had ups and downs and some problems with certain parts. But I really like how this has turned out.

I want to say a BIG and HUGE thank you to everyone who has stuck this out. I know that it's really long, and some of it has seemed a little pointless, but it's been driving to this. And I want to say thank you to the people who helped drive this at points (both Carly and Karen). And well… I suppose all that's left to say is that … I hope you enjoyed this story half as much as I've enjoyed writing it. It was a distraction from many an essay. And goodbye for now.

Kris xx


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